My Mobile Vet - Dr. Nenn

Summary

Tosh Show – “My Mobile Vet – Dr. Nenn” (May 12, 2026)
Host: Daniel Tosh
Guest: Dr. Katie Nenn (“Dr. Nenn”), Mobile Farm Animal Veterinarian
Co-host: Eddie Gosling

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Episode Overview

In this lively episode, Daniel Tosh welcomes mobile farm animal veterinarian Dr. Katie Nenn, affectionately known as Dr. Nenn, for a deep dive into the world of farm animal medicine in Malibu and beyond. The conversation veers from Daniel’s personal tales of problematic chickens and pigs to Dr. Nenn's unique career stories, the economics and risks of horse vetting, bizarre animal facts, and her foundation’s mission to boost the shortage of large animal vets. The episode brims with Tosh’s trademark irreverence and humor but does not shy away from practical animal care advice and fascinating vet anecdotes.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Death of a Chicken and Vet Sympathy Cards

[15:23-16:47]

• Daniel recounts Dr. Nenn’s attempts to save his chicken (suspected Mareks), admiring but also ribbing her for sending a condolence card that “seemed over the top” given he’d only had the chicken for three days.
  • Tosh: “You made your entire staff write something for my lost chicken… this chicken I'd only had for three days.”
  • Dr. Nenn: “We do, like, five to ten [condolence cards] a week, so everybody signs them.”

2. Ghost Encounters

[16:49-18:41]

• Daniel quizzes Dr. Nenn on whether she believes in ghosts, prompting two personal ghost stories, one involving a “Persian cat” apparition and another involving a ghostly chalkboard incident.
  • Dr. Nenn: “I saw a spirit animal… like a Persian cat… on the bed, looking at me.”
  • Daniel (incredulous): “That one’s not true. Next one.”

3. Becoming a Vet and the ‘Horse Girl’ Stereotype

[18:45-21:20]

• Dr. Nenn shares her journey: leasing horses as a kid, the economics behind it, and her ultimate “horse girl” status.
  • Dr. Nenn: “We're all a little bit crazy. I'll just be honest with you.”
  • Tosh: “Are horses hard to work on?”
  • Dr. Nenn: “Yes. You have to be very specific… injuries can be catastrophic.”

4. Vet School and Starting a Mobile Practice

[21:40-24:01]

• Dr. Nenn attended University of Guelph (Ontario Veterinary College) and opened her own practice—the same week as the COVID shutdown. COVID, ironically, created high demand as backyard poultry and farm animals surged.
  • Dr. Nenn: “It was good [timing] because… doctors, firefighters, and vets were like essential personnel.”
  • Dr. Nenn: “A lot of people started chicken coops as their Covid project.”

5. Chicken Sexing, Emotions, and Vibes

[24:11-24:54]

• Deep dive into why chicken sexing is so tricky and apparently “a vibe” among professional sexers, with accuracy rates near 99%.
  • Dr. Nenn: “They found it’s basically a vibe… this one’s a rooster. Those people are 99% correct.”
  • Tosh: “What a weird gift to have.”

6. Notable Chicken and Farm Animal Facts

[25:08-26:51]

• Mareks disease is called out as the #1 killer of chickens.
• Daniel’s initial reluctance about chickens gives way to love:
  • Tosh: “I love having chickens now. Like, it’s very therapeutic and peaceful.”

7. The Economics of Horses and Insurance

[19:14–20:24, 26:51–27:46]

• Leasing a horse: ranges from $500/month plus $400/month feed for a trail horse, to show horses at $100k/year.
• High-ticket horses usually insured; clients pay the vet and get reimbursed by insurance.

8. Farm Vet Duties, Risks, and Teamwork

[21:06, 27:07-28:01]

• Large animal vet work is risky—catastrophic injuries possible.
• Frequent collaboration among area vets:
  • Dr. Nenn: “We all work together really well… we share cases.”

9. Horse Dentistry and Life Span

[27:46–28:41]

• Equine teeth constantly erupt and need “floating” (filing).
  • “We sedate them, but they stay standing up… they call it a stay apparatus.”
  • Teeth age horses accurately up to 8 years; after 20: “you’re old.”

10. Animal Births & Delivery Emergencies

[28:41–29:52]

• Vets only called when animals can’t deliver—“catastrophic” with horses, more manipulation possible in cows/goats.
• Goats commonly have birthing problems when bred with larger males. Dr. Nenn: “You can’t breed a little [female] with a big [male].”

11. Gruesome Realities: What Happens When a Horse Dies

[30:10–31:17]

• A handler named Mike collects deceased horses, transporting them to a communal animal burial or for cremation—ashes return in a very large box.
  • Tosh: “You could just give me a handful. I don’t need all of them back.”

12. Human Use of Animal Meds (“Ivermectin Days”)

[32:11–32:30]

• The Ivermectin craze made livestock drugs scarce, as people tried to use them for COVID:
  • Dr. Nenn: “A lot of people… were taking the poron concentrated Ivermectin made for cows… we couldn't order it because so many people were abusing it. And people were getting sick.”

13. Pig Ownership: Hooves, Loneliness, & Anatomy

[33:02–34:11, 34:33–35:28]

• Daniel’s pig weighs ~60 pounds; hoof trims needed 6-12 months.
• Pigs can be “just fine” alone if they have other animal friends—getting a second pig often causes fighting.
• Pig anatomy: unique “pressure” ejaculatory system for mating.
  • Dr. Nenn: “An adult farm hog can produce 500 milliliters at a time. It’s a half a liter.”

14. Wild Facts: Pigs Turn Feral Quickly

[35:40-36:12]

• “If your pig gets out… it only takes them two weeks to revert back to being feral… grow tusks, show wild boar traits."

15. Exotic Farm Animals

[36:26–36:41]

• Most unusual: “Zonkey” (zebra-donkey hybrid) – “they’re terrible. They’re mean.”
• Frequent work on llamas and alpacas (“I just got spit on yesterday”).

16. Disaster Preparedness for Farm Animal Owners

[37:30-38:41]

• During fires, vets like Dr. Nenn help coordinate evacuations, cross fire lines; Ventura County has an animal rescue network.
• Owners not legally required to evacuate chickens or all animals, but community support is robust.

17. The Nenn Foundation: Boosting Large Animal Vets

[38:41–41:42]

• Dr. Nenn and her husband founded a nonprofit to address the shortage of large animal vets—less than one new large animal vet per state/per year persists in the profession.
  • “Three years out, 70% of those vets will go into small animal [practice].”
  • Foundation offers hands-on experience (in partnership with Underwood Family Farms), aiming to “inspire the next generation.”

18. Weirdest Calls, Animal Welfare, and “Vibes”

[42:21–43:33]

• Tosh presses if Dr. Nenn suspected animal abuse—she admits to one “vibe” case after a tip-off, likening the intuition to chicken sexing:
  • Dr. Nenn: “It’s a vibe, man. It’s a vibe.”

19. On Eating Meat (After Being a Vet)

[45:50–46:59]

• Dr. Nenn: Former vegetarian, no longer eats chickens or turkey due to owning them.
• Tosh: “I would never eat my chickens. I eat chicken. I eat pork... I’m not going to eat my own pig.”

20. The Great Gift Exchange

[47:02–53:13]

• Daniel gives Dr. Nenn a bizarre bundle of regifted items (candles, hats, doormat, bacon festival t-shirts), while Dr. Nenn reciprocates with “the tip of a goat’s penis” (the “pizzle”), stones removed from goats, and extracted horse teeth, along with her company’s shirts.
  • Tosh: “I’m happy that I learned the word pizzle.”
  • Dr. Nenn: “Male goats will get urinary blockages… you cut that urethral process off, the pizzle.”

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Condolence Cards:
  • “You made your entire staff write something for my lost chicken… this chicken I'd only had for three days.” (Daniel Tosh, 15:47)
• On the “Horse Girl” Stereotype:
  • “We're all a little bit crazy. I'll just be honest with you.” (Dr. Nenn, 20:47)
• On Animal Drug Abuse:
  • “We couldn't order [ivermectin] because so many people were abusing it. And people were getting sick because they were taking the poron concentrated Ivermectin made for cows that you pour down their back.” (Dr. Nenn, 32:11)
• On Pig Anatomy:
  • “An adult farm hog can produce 500 mils at a time. It’s a half a liter.” (Dr. Nenn, 35:16)
• On Evacuating Farm Animals:
  • “Am I legally supposed to load up my chickens?”
    “It’s your choice.”
    “Are you kidding me? I have kids that are annoying the shit out of me. Now you want me to have a bed full of chickens, too?” (Tosh & Dr. Nenn, 38:05)
• On the Shortage of Large Animal Vets:
  • “It comes out to about one vet per state per year.” (Dr. Nenn, 40:05)
• On Animal Welfare Intuition:
  • “It’s a vibe, man. It’s a vibe.” (Dr. Nenn, 42:53)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Chicken Death & Sympathy Cards: 15:23–16:47
• Ghost Stories: 16:49–18:41
• Horse Girl Stereotype & Vets: 19:14–21:20
• COVID, Chicken Boom, and Mobile Vet Origin: 21:40–24:01
• Chicken Sexing ‘Vibes’: 24:11–24:54
• Horse Economics & Insurance: 19:14–20:24, 26:51–27:46
• Horse Dentistry: 27:46–28:41
• Birth Emergencies: 28:41–29:52
• What Happens When a Horse Dies?: 30:10–31:17
• Ivermectin/Animal Drug Shortages: 32:11–32:30
• Pig Care & Anatomy: 33:02–35:28
• Zonkey & Exotics: 36:26–36:41
• Animal Disaster Prep: 37:30–38:41
• Nenn Foundation & Vet Shortage: 38:41–41:42
• On ‘Vibes’ of Abuse Detection: 42:21–43:33
• Eating Meat Post-Vet: 45:50–46:59
• Hilarious Gift Exchange: 47:02–53:13

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Tone & Style

The episode is classic Tosh—irreverent, fast-paced, witty, and full of off-the-cuff observational humor even as it delves into unexpectedly educational territory. Dr. Nenn matches Daniel’s energy with candor and warmth, adding vivid, sometimes graphic, detail from her unique veterinary career.

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For Listeners

If you’ve ever been curious about why your vet loves horses, why pigs have anatomically impressive traits, how farm animal emergencies are handled, or what happens on the “weirdest” vet calls, this episode will both entertain and educate—with enough bizarre animal facts to win your next trivia night.

Memorable Moment:
The exchange of peculiar gifts—especially the “pizzle”—cements this as an iconic Tosh Show episode:
“Male goats will get urinary blockages… you cut that urethral process off, the pizzle.” (Dr. Nenn, 50:30)

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Listen for:

• Engaging (and cringeworthy) animal facts
• Honest discussion about the shortage of farm vets
• Daniel Tosh’s blend of incredulous grilling and genuine curiosity
• A gift segment to rival any late-night show

(All advertisements and non-content sections omitted.)

Transcript

[A]

I'm Kiana. And I leveled up my business with Shopify. Once I figured out that Shopify was a thing, I never turned back. I can create a site with my eyes closed. Shopify thinks ahead of us, you know, and it thinks about the customer more than anything. Every day I'm thinking about some other new business, but Shopify is doing it to me because it's so easy to use. It's like I can't stop. I'm addicted.

[B]

Start your free [e-mail] this summer. Don't squeeze in. Spread out. Find homes big enough for your whole guest list on vrbo. That's vacation rentals done. Right? Book your stay now.

[C]

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it knew you were coming over and it wanted to stay alive. Posh show. Posh show. Tosh show for show. Welcome to Tosh Show. I'm comedian and podcast host Daniel Tosh. With me, Eddie Gosling. Eddie, how are you?

[D]

I'm doing good. How are you doing, Daniel?

[C]

I'm great. How was your week?

[D]

Week was good.

[C]

You went up to Tahoe, and whenever Eddie goes to Tahoe, he was preparing his cabin for the summer.

[D]

Right.

[C]

Let me just guess. You had a project.

[D]

I did.

[C]

What'd you go. What'd you go up there and do?

[D]

Stained the back of the log cabin.

[C]

You stained the back of your cabin?

[D]

Little bit on the front, but just the back. Needed it because of the shed we get from the roof. That snow sits there, soaks into the wood, and then the sun hits it all summer, so it just kind of dries it out. It looks way less treated than the rest of the cabin.

[C]

All right, so you stay. How long did that take?

[D]

That took like, a couple days.

[C]

How many coats did you give it?

[D]

Well, the first coat soaks in. The second coat protects.

[C]

What brand of sealer did you use?

[D]

Which I could tell you can't remember.

[C]

Did you just go to Home Depot?

[D]

Ace Hardware.

[C]

Ace.

[D]

You gotta go to Ace. Ace knows what's up.

[C]

You gotta support the local. Local. Ace Hardware. I always love an Ace Hardware. Because they're independently owned and operated.

[D]

Exactly.

[C]

And you get a good feeling when you go in there. And I always think it's nice because those guys usually look down on me because I don't know what I'm doing.

[D]

It's like, I'm always like, here's what I want to do.

[C]

You do real projects, so I'm sure it's a little more, you know, you're getting a little more credit than I am. I'm Usually, like, I lost a bolt. They're like, well, the bolts are right down. Yeah, but I don't want to go through all of them.

[D]

Honestly.

[C]

You just show me which one is this exact size.

[D]

That's the worst wall.

[C]

I brought the nut in.

[D]

Yes, exactly.

[C]

They're like, is that all you need? I'm like, yeah, I just needed the bolt. And they're like, well, write down the code. I'm like, well, can't you just remember it and go up there and ring me up? Now I got to write down a code on a piece of paper. I'm like, where's the paper? And then he's like, they're right there. And then I'm like, well, these pencils, it's not very sharp.

[D]

These are bad.

[C]

He's like, it'll make do. I'm like, ace Hardware.

[D]

But we love it.

[C]

Listen, I get so excited for summertime up in Tahoe. It's like camp. I don't send my kids to camp. Sometimes I'll consider doing these day camps, but I end up not doing it.

[D]

We always did those. You did them the day camps, like a surf camp or a skateboard camp, but nothing overnight.

[C]

Okay, so you're talking about you're just letting your kids pick up a skill.

[D]

Yes.

[C]

Now, whatchamacallit, what's the camp where the flooding happened? The Guadalupe River. Camp Mystic.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Okay. Now, they have decided officially that they're not going to reopen this year after the tragedy last year that took 25 campers and two counselors. Oh, this is triggering. Here we go. I'm going to talk about it. Listen, it's part of God's plan that I talk about it. So I think that's okay. I can't wrap my head around. Let me get the number right. Over 900 parents that signed up to send their kids back to this camp this summer. I mean, I get was a freak storm and all of this and all this stuff went wrong. But there's no assurances that everything is fixed and that the system would never fail again. Now, I think they might have been saying, oh, there's a different location. They have a lake nearby that's a higher elevation. I can't let this go. I get it. You want your girls to go to the same weird Christian, all girl camp, and it develops leaders in the Texas area. It's just all you want for your kids. Your checklist should be two things. It should be A and B. I want them to not die and not get molested. And then underneath those Two things. There's, like, a million smaller things. I want them to get a good education, but the real big ones are, I don't want my kids to die, and I don't want them to get molested. Yeah, Agreed.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Back there, 100%. Okay. If last year, 25 girls had the most horrific death imaginable for a fun camp, and you're like, I'm gonna sign my kids up as a sign of solidarity. That is just nuts. I would never let my girl go there, ever. I mean, there's a million reasons why I wouldn't. But here's what I wanted. I wanted to find out that Camp Mystics waiting list for this year to reopen was at three. And it was just three parents that were, like, on auto sign.

[D]

I forgot to just unsubscribe.

[C]

Right? They forgot to unsubscribe. And, like, I was like, oh, shit. No, no, I don't want her to go to death camp.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

And you're like, what are the odds that it would happen again? I don't know. Probably nil. But why reward this camp financially that was so negligent to begin with? I mean, you're basically just funding the inevitable payout to these victims that if they're not suing. Oh, I mean, whatever one of them has. Out of 25 girls and two counselors, one of their families has to have some sense and be like, okay, we're gonna bankrupt this camp forever. Do parents just want to be away from their kids so bad? Why are you sending them away?

[B]

This is.

[C]

This reminds me of, like, the childhood that my father had. Well, you know, you got aboard a train, you said goodbye to your parents, and in four years, you came back a man. I don't know.

[D]

Where does this train go?

[C]

Like, my mom says it all the time. She says, like, oh, the way you guys parent, it's so exhausting. And I'm like, it's not. We just have fun with our kids. I had children because I wanted to have children, not because it was like a calling from God or it was, you know, just what was expected. Me. No, I wanted to have children, so we had children. Now I'm not going to. Well, now I don't want them. They're not cute anymore. My son's feet stink to high heavens. It smells like if diarrhea was soaked in vinegar. That's what my son's feet smell like. But I still want them in the house. I'm not telling them. All right, well, go rough it with Bear Grylls and I'll hope for the best.

[D]

Oh, yes.

[C]

You know, whenever there's, like, the number one cause of death for children, it's always something that's, like, horrible. It's always like drowning. You know why? Because kids aren't supposed to die. That's the reason, right? Okay. My kids, they've been in swim class since they were probably six months old, My son, seven, my daughter, three. Once a week, they're in swim class. My son, it's basically like a personal trainer at this point, working them out, right? But you want to know what she taught my kids in the beginning or she taught me? She's like, here, she gave me a tool for my daughter to not die, basically giving me 30 to 60 seconds before she's dead. That's year one of swim training. And I know a lot of people don't have the time or the means, but if you're gonna have a pool and you don't want to cover it constantly, you better make sure your kids can survive. So I do it. And now my son is a machine. He can, you know, he can do 50 laps without getting tired. My daughter, after three years, she can fall in the pool, get out. Fine. But if she were on her own swimming, she's got about two minutes, two and a half minutes before she needs to hold on to something before she's dead. My kids don't pee in the pool either, in case you were wondering.

[D]

That's nice.

[C]

No, they don't. They love finding weird places in the yard to pee. My daughter, like, stands like my son because that's who she watches pee in the yard. And she puts her hands down by her parts as if she's holding a penis to pee. That's incredibly disturbing to watch. I just. I'm like, you don't have to do that, honey. You can just stand. You can just stand. Just open up a little bit. Now she, like, arches back and like. Like, she's, like, just relaxing on a

[D]

lake, checking the scores on her phone.

[C]

Water's dangerous. Even when we go to the beach, I make my kids, like, you don't turn your back on the ocean. The Pacific Ocean, for real. Like, knock it off. Sneaker waves happen all the time. Kids get blown up. How many times on tosh0 did we see a video of somebody in Hawaii standing on a fun rock with their whole wedding party, and then an explosion of water takes them all away? And let me tell you, those videos are fun to watch. But let me promise you, every single one of them was like, oh, no, we're going to die. You're getting dragged over sharp rocks. It's just the worst thing.

[D]

You're wrecked.

[C]

Yeah. Guess what I yell at my kids every time. Don't turn your back to the ocean. It doesn't take a 30 foot wave to drown you or to paralyze you. A three foot wave can do it if you're not paying attention. Look who turned into Captain Safety right there.

[D]

Dan Tosh did.

[C]

And I get Camp is good. You want your kids to be out in nature and playing all of that stuff. I love nature. I love animals. But sometimes things go wrong. And when they do, when it comes to animals, today's guest is your fix. Enjoy. We all love Rag and Bone. Really? It's just me. Honestly, I love Rag and Bone. A lot of these guys here, they don't get it. Now I'm here to tell you about their latest game changer. Rag and Bone Miramar is their revolutionary printing technique that makes ultra soft fabrics look exactly like real denim. That's magic, folks. From athletic fits to straight leg styles, even overshirts, Rag and Bone Miramar delivers the look of jeans with the comfort of sweatshirt. Oh, man. Rag and Bone, you did it again. And if I know one thing, it's that all anyone ever wants in life is the comfort of sweats. They're comfortable. They're cut from soft terry cloth, stretch cotton blends and movement ready knit fabrics, but printed on the outside to look like your favorite pair of jeans while remaining ultra soft on the inside. Rag and Bone Miramar. You don't have to choose between comfort and looking put together. You get them both. It's time to upgrade your denim with Rag and Bone. For a limited time, our listeners get 20% off their entire order with code Tosh at rag and bone dot com. That's 20% [e-mail] with promo code Tosh. When they ask where you heard about them, please support our show and let them know we sent you. Hi folks. Daniel Tosh here for Harry's stop spending $30 for eight razor blade refills that dull too fast and irritate your neck. Oh, it's infuriating. With Harry's plus, you get a barbershop quality shave with German engineered blades. And I would know because even though I've never had a shave in a barbershop, I was born in Germany. Each blade is honed at three different angles to cut hair evenly at the root without tugging. Blade spacing is optimized to glide smoothly and avoid clogging. You didn't think I was gonna get into the nuts and bolts of a razor blade, did you? But these details matter. Harry's owns their own world class blade factory in Germany. No outsourcing, no middleman. It made sense that they got into this. They had their own factory. For a limited time, our listeners can get the Harry's plus trial set for only $[e-mail] Tosh this set includes the all new Harry's plus razor, one refined five blade cartridge, a two ounce foaming shave gel and a travel cover to protect your blades on the go. Just head to harry's.comtosh to claim this offer and after you purchase, they'll ask you where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them we sent you. Fast growing trees can help anyone get their home and yard ready with spring planting essentials and trees and plants that are guaranteed to thrive. Every plant is backed by their alive and thrive guarantee. Guaranteed to arrive healthy and ready to thrive in your yard. They have real life plant scientists on staff to ensure plants are happy and healthy before shipping. You hear that, Eddie?

[D]

Yep.

[C]

A plant scientist.

[D]

I think that's amazing.

[C]

Over 1600 varieties of trees and plants, including fruit trees, evergreens, shrubs, flower trees, shade trees, houseplants and more. Right now they have great deals on spring planting essentials. Up to half off on selected plants. And listeners to our show get 20% off their first purchase when using the code TOSH at checkout. That's an additional 20% off. Better plants and better growing at fast growingtrees.com using code tosh at checkout fast growingtrees.com code tosh now's the perfect time to plant. Let's grow together. Use Tosh to save today. Offers valid for limited time terms and conditions may apply toshow. My guest today has been out to my house a few times in an attempt to save a loved one. Sadly, her attempts were unsuccessful. Every time. There's no other way to say it. I'm not accusing her of anything, but do that information what you will. Please welcome Farm animal vet Dr. Nen Katie. Doctor, hello. How are you?

[B]

I'm doing great. I'm super happy to be here.

[C]

Water under the bridge immensely. No, I'll get right into this. First of all, you've come out to help me with some of my chicken problems that I've had one of them. Let's just talk about this, the most recent one. What do chickens get sometimes right at birth if they're not vaccinated for it?

[B]

Mareks.

[C]

Mareks. Okay. One of my chickens, I'm pretty sure had mareks, right?

[B]

Yes.

[C]

Okay. And you gave us some antibiotics if we wanted to try, and we did it for six or seven days. And I was like, this chicken's not gonna live. And boom, chicken died. That's not on you. What made me laugh is you sent a sincere condolence card and you made your entire staff write something for my lost chicken. But this chicken I'd only had for three days. It just seemed. It's. It blew.

[B]

It seem over the top that we would do that.

[C]

Like, you made all your employees. Are they doing this all day long?

[B]

Well, we'll say we do, like, five to 10 a week, so everybody signs them.

[C]

I think a lot of. Like, how many times can they write something about your stupid animal? I love pets.

[B]

Family. Every animal is special.

[C]

I know, but I'm also not. I love my pets like, I love family more than most of my family, to be honest. But, I mean, at this point, I'm like, this chicken's only been around my house for a week.

[B]

Yeah, but wasn't necessary.

[C]

Let me start here. Do you believe in ghosts?

[B]

Yes.

[C]

You ever witnessed one?

[B]

Yeah. So the short answer is yes. I've got two stories about ghosts personally, but one is I saw a cat

[C]

ghost when A spirit animal, so.

[B]

Oh, I like that. A spirit animal. Okay. I saw a spirit animal when I was growing up. I was old enough that I wasn't, like, mistaking a stuffed animal. Like, I looked over my brother's room, and I'm like, oh, there's a cat in there. And then I'm like, we don't have that cat. And I looked back, and it was gone.

[C]

You. Wait, wait, you saw the cat or you saw a shadow?

[B]

I saw the cat. It was like a Persian cat. It was the whole. On the bed, looking at me.

[C]

She followed it. Wait, don't they go to whatchama call it Wonderland?

[B]

That sounds great.

[C]

All right, that one's not true. Next one.

[B]

No, the other one was, I was, like, nine in my old house growing up, and I had a little chalkboard that was the shape of a dinosaur, and it had a little, like, thing at the base where the chalk sat on. And out from underneath a chair that had curtains, flung a piece of chalk, and it was, like, fast enough that it ruffled the curtains on the chair. The chalk ping ponged around my room too fast that I couldn't follow it. It was like, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing.

[C]

The chalk doesn't do that.

[B]

And it landed on my Chalkboard in the sill that holds the chalk. And it went like, rocked back and forth and stopped.

[C]

I mean, that one.

[D]

There you go.

[B]

That's weird because if you normally.

[C]

Because you, you couldn't throw chalk against a wall and make it do that.

[B]

So you're like, didn't hit and stop it. Bang, bang, bang, bang. All around my room and then stopped right on the sill. And then my mom was like, it was the cat.

[C]

I'm like, no, wait, wait, wait. It was the cat. The ghost cat.

[B]

That man. A different cat. Our real, real cat.

[C]

Okay, so you did have a cat.

[B]

We had a cat, but it was not the ghost cat. The ghost cat was different ghost cat. That's how I knew I was gonna be a vet. The ghost cat.

[C]

When did you know that you wanted to work with animals and not just ride on top of them?

[B]

Two.

[C]

That was good. Did you have tons of pets?

[B]

I had a horse, so I grew up riding at Foxfield in Westlake, and they have a lease program, so I was able to lease horses until I went to college.

[C]

Is that affordable, leasing a horse? I know nothing about this.

[B]

It is and it isn't. It's better because for somebody who's like developing rider, like how I was. When you lease, you have the opportunity to have a horse for a year, and then you may potentially outgrow that horse's abilities. Then you can lease another one.

[C]

What's. What's the lease cost for just a mid range horse?

[B]

Oh, it's very wide.

[C]

Because what's the cheapest I can. What's the cheapest swayback that I can rent for lease?

[D]

What can you get them into for a good price?

[C]

Write a number down on, let me know if I can beat it. No, honestly, I'm just curious.

[B]

Yeah, so the cheapest thing you do is called a feed lease, where you basically just take over the care of the horse. They let you have it for a while, and you pay for their food and stuff.

[C]

You don't get to ride it, so.

[B]

No, you get to ride it. Okay. Yeah. They're like, we can't take care of it anymore. Can you take care of it? Sure.

[C]

Which happens the owners in these rich Southern California communities where people have horses and they don't really want to do any of the work with them.

[B]

With rich Southern California communities, you're paying a lot for those horses.

[C]

Okay, forget those then. But it's just like, I don't. I want to know, AM I spending 20,000 a year, 5,000 a year, 100,000 a year.

[B]

So it's super variable. Like, I know a horse that's leased right now for $100,000 a year.

[C]

That seems high.

[B]

So, yeah, that's the higher end. Like a good show horse. But if you want just like a good trail horse that you can go out, you might pay them like 500 bucks a month and feed and board.

[C]

500 bucks? Wait, and I have to pay for the food?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Is that expensive?

[B]

The food right now is probably 400amonth.

[C]

Good grief. So much work. That's the problem.

[B]

It is a lot of work. Yeah. There's a barrier of entry, we'll say, to getting into the horse world.

[C]

Would you consider yourself a horse girl?

[B]

I would.

[C]

Okay. Let's just call it as it is. What is it about girls who love horses that makes people hoist the red flag?

[B]

It's such a good question. Because we're all a little bit crazy. I'll just be honest with you.

[C]

But you just like them. But you just. But you love the horses so much.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, there's really something special about horses. They're just a really unique animal. They're my favorite animal to work on, too, in like the veterinary profession.

[C]

Are they hard to work on?

[B]

Yes. Yeah. You have to be very specific with how you work on them because they can be so dangerous. So when you get injuries with horses and farm animals, they're really. They can be catastrophic injuries rather than the, like, really frequent injuries that you get in small animal, like bites and things like that. When you get injured with large animal, it's like a career ending catastrophic incident.

[C]

So has that ever happened to any of you or your employees?

[B]

No. Knock on wood. It has not.

[C]

Not catastrophic. But are you. Are you. You're just extra careful. You just don't want to get. See, that's the thing with horses. I don't like to ride horses, but I like to look at them.

[B]

They're beautiful. Yes.

[C]

You went to the University of Guelph?

[B]

Yes.

[C]

Go. What bulldogs?

[B]

We were the Stags. Each year that you're there in veterinary school, it's Ontario Veterinary College at the University of Guelph. And each year you vote on your color and what your animal is going to be.

[C]

So the University of Guelph changes their mascot every year?

[B]

Just the vet school. Each year was making it more difficult.

[C]

How did you know about this school? How did you find out about this school?

[B]

It's one of the prominent schools in North America.

[C]

Got it?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I've never heard of it till today

[B]

when I was there. It's beautiful. It's like all brick buildings. It's the oldest veterinary school in North America. When I was there, it was the fourth best school in the world.

[C]

In the world. How do they come up with that test scores? Best school in the world, huh? All right.

[B]

Black and white.

[C]

Walk me through vet school in Canada to owning your own mobile practice in Malibu.

[B]

So Canada was four years. Then I did a year internship afterwards just focusing on horses, which you're a veterinarian, but you're working very closely with mentors and you're basically their slave labor for a year. It's the same as like an MD Then I went out and worked in a practice for four years that was multiple veterinarians, only equine. During that time, I married my husband, Greg, and he's very entrepreneurial minded and it was his idea to start the business. So the.

[C]

Was it his idea or did he gaslight you into believing it was his idea and he's just taking more credit? I don't know.

[B]

Something I would do, I would say we. We came across it together, but he was the, like the push to make it happen.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Like, I always knew that I wanted to and. And. But I'm like down the road sometime and he's like, let's go for it. Let's. Let's do it. It's time.

[C]

And immediately. A success or a struggle?

[B]

It was pretty quick. We opened the same week of the COVID shutdown, which we.

[C]

Was that bad or good for you?

[B]

It was good because what were those, like, essential personnel? Like doctors, firefighters, and vets were like essential personnel.

[C]

I think you should know what it is if you were claiming that you were one of them.

[B]

I'm essential personnel.

[C]

Uh huh. Okay.

[B]

Yeah. So. And no one wanted to go anywhere.

[C]

Explain why the demand for chicken doctors

[B]

exploded during COVID Everybody started their Covid project, and a lot of people started chicken coops as their Covid project.

[C]

Oh.

[B]

So there's a ton of backyard chickens, which is what we call it. Just when you have a little coop in your backyard.

[C]

Mine's in my front, but.

[B]

Or your backyard. Yeah. Covid happened.

[C]

How come we don't know chickens gender right away?

[B]

It's just really hard. Everything is hidden, so it's just really hard to tell.

[C]

But can you figure it out?

[B]

You can figure it out, but the crazy thing is they did a study with people who are in hatcheries that are sexing chickens, and they found that it's basically a vibe that they have. I'm not. Not kidding. Like a scientific study. They pick them up. They're like, check. Do the thing. This one's a rooster. And Those people are 99% correct. Other people that will go in there and try to sex the chickens, not nearly as good.

[C]

Well, who are these people that. That. No chicken vibes.

[B]

They. They work in hatcheries and in the poultry industry, and that's what they do is, like, sexing chickens.

[C]

What a weird gift to have.

[B]

It's. It's weird. It's. It's kind of cool, but it's. There's no science about it.

[C]

I was so furious that we got chickens, and. And then I fell in love. I like. I love having chickens now. Like, it's. It's very therapeutic and peaceful to sit out there and just watch them walk around. Yeah, I. I enjoy it.

[B]

I feel the same. I have chickens, too.

[C]

After Colonel Sanders and those homophobes at Chick Fil A, what is the number one killer of chickens?

[B]

Merrick's disease.

[C]

Ah. My chickens get so scared if you pull up now. They're like, oh, no. Which one?

[B]

They do not.

[C]

Your trucks are pretty. Did you pick those out?

[B]

It was a combination of Greg and I that picked him out. So he's firefighter and paramedic. I basically told him this is all the stuff that I want on my rig. And he worked with the builder and designed the way that our rigs are now.

[C]

Can you say the word rigs?

[B]

I. Probably just because from the fire.

[C]

Okay, Sounds cool. Does he force you to wash it, like, constantly, too? Like, do you guys have, like, take care.

[B]

It does get cleaned. We do have people that clean it for us.

[C]

You guys don't do it together, do you? Your team doesn't do, like, sexy calendar shoots.

[B]

Good idea, though.

[C]

I'm just saying for firefighters.

[B]

Australia firefighters. But it'll be us with, like, weird animals.

[C]

So what do you guys work on? What are your specialties?

[B]

We work on anything you'd find at a farm.

[C]

Horses are what you kind of is. Was your bread and butter to begin with.

[B]

Right when we opened. I was solely equine for a while, and then right as we opened, I branched out into doing all farm animals, which I really enjoy working on, like, goats and potbellies and other farm animals. But horses are my primary, and the need for a farm animal vet in our area was really high. So right when we opened, word got out that we would do those animals, and I was doing 70% farm, 30% horses. And now we've developed our team large enough so that we have. I've got another Veterinarian that'll do a lot of the farm animal, and then I can kind of refocus back on the horses. But to answer your question, basically anything you find on a farm.

[C]

Do you take insurance?

[B]

Yes, but the insurance is a little bit different. It's usually the owners will pay and the insurance will reimburse them, but a lot of the horses are insured because we have horses that are half a million dollars.

[C]

When you see one of those that cost a bazillion dollars, you're like, oh, that's neat.

[B]

It's really neat. And they're beautiful and they're just exquisite.

[C]

But they've had. It's a sad life.

[B]

No, it's a wonderful life.

[C]

Well, I mean. I mean, like, they. They don't get to just go out onto the Sunset Strip and party. Do you know all the local vets in the area? Do you guys clash? Is there competition? Are you friendly?

[B]

We'll say we're mostly friendly, but we all work together really well and we share cases. So it'll be routine. Especially on, like, we'll say in a horse barn, there'll be one vet that'll do their hock injections or whatnot, and then one vet that'll do their vaccines. And I do a lot of dentistry work. So one vet, it'll be me doing dentistry work. And we all work, collaborate.

[C]

What do you do with the teeth?

[B]

It's called a float, where the way that horses teeth grow, they're constantly erupting throughout their life and they get these sharp points. They'll be off, they'll get a wave shape to their teeth. So we go in and file them and correct it.

[C]

Do you put them under for that?

[B]

We sedate them, but they stay standing up.

[C]

How do you sedate someone and say standing up? It's just. They just know not to fall.

[B]

Horses in particular can lock their back legs so they stay standing. They have a. They call it a stay apparatus.

[C]

Can you really tell how old a horse is by looking at its teeth?

[B]

Yes. Yeah.

[C]

How close to, like the actual age?

[B]

Within a couple years. Once they turn eight, then it's within a couple years, but you can pretty much tell until they turn 8. And then once they hit 20, you're just like, you're old.

[C]

How old? A horse can go to 30.

[B]

Yeah. Average is 25 in the wild.

[C]

Much lower.

[B]

Much lower. I think it's 16.

[C]

It's nice that one animal thrives in captivity. Way better than most.

[B]

That's nice.

[C]

Do you deliver animals constantly?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Is that Fun.

[B]

The real answer is no, because the only time that we get called out to a delivery is when there's a problem.

[C]

Right. They can do it naturally until they can't.

[B]

Yes. And when they can't, it's usually like, catastrophic. With a horse, it's catastrophic. With a cow and ruminants, we can try to manipulate them a little bit better than we can with the horse. There's just less time with the horses. But with the other animals, we can manipulate them. And like I was on one a couple months ago where we manipulated the cow, and then we actually had to hook the baby up to the tractor, and the tractor pulled it out and it was successful.

[C]

The noise that it must have made just bothers me, the last part.

[B]

But when it's a success, it's super fun. Like when there's a problem, especially like a common one that we see is goats. Because the common thought is that goats can just breed and have babies and be fine, but you can't breed a little animal with a big animal because then the babies will be too big. So we often have pet goats here that are like pygmies, Nigerian dwarfs. They're really small, a hundred pounds and less. And then they'll breed with a big buck, which is just an intact male goat. It's called a buck. And then their babies are too big to come out, so we have to manipulate them, do C sections and things like that.

[C]

Are they doing. Are they breeding them on purpose?

[B]

Most of the time it's just that they don't know. Like the.

[C]

Should we be getting them neutered goats?

[B]

100%, yeah.

[C]

You neuter all animals?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

All right. Snip all of them. Here's a morbid question. I don't know why I smile when I ask.

[B]

I'm ready.

[C]

When a horse passes, dies. Yes. What do you do with it?

[B]

Okay, I'm going to give. I'm going to be really honest, and it might be really gross.

[C]

Oh, I can handle gross.

[B]

Okay. So there's a service. His name is Mike. He's with Dignified Animal Disease.

[C]

That's the service. This is my Mike.

[B]

Mike. We call Mike up. And he has a truck with a hoist that they will chain the horse up, hoist it into the truck, and then they'll take them to. My terminology is the communal animal burial in Simi Valley. But it's a part of the dump that has only animals, so. And then they'll. They'll dump the bodies there. Or you can get them cremated the same way that you can Cremate your dogs and cats.

[C]

Yeah. Not the same kiln. How big is that thing?

[B]

It's huge. It's huge. Yeah. And then when you get the ashes back, it's like a box. That's.

[C]

Yeah, I don't. I don't. That's too many. You know, you could just give me a hand. Handful of my horse. I don't need all of them back.

[D]

Just want the tail.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Just the tail. We do, actually. We cut you most of the time. We'll cut the tails and the owners will keep the hair and the tails.

[C]

Yeah, it's like horse people. Am I right?

[B]

We're all weird. I said it. I was honest.

[C]

What about, can I save money by taking animal drugs?

[B]

A lot of them are the same.

[C]

Do you do that to your kids?

[B]

No. It's illegal.

[C]

I know it's illegal, but you don't have to admit it. But you could give me, like, occasionally I started taking my dog's heartworm.

[B]

You did?

[C]

Because I thought.

[B]

Are you serious?

[C]

No, of course not.

[B]

You would. Okay. No joke, though. When the Ivermectin thing was exploding and everybody was taking Ivermectin, and everybody was going to cure everything, right? A lot of people, sure. So we could not get Ivermectin for the animals because they were holding it at stores. We couldn't order it because so many people were abusing it. And the people were getting sick because they were taking the poron concentrated Ivermectin made for cows that you pour down their back. Like a flea and tick treatment. Yes. They were ingesting that.

[C]

Oh, these guys all the time. Weekly people were like, it's just men, right? It's just men that do that stupid stuff.

[B]

It was mostly men.

[C]

Yeah, of course.

[B]

Sorry.

[C]

No, I don't apologize to us.

[B]

But, like, literally weekly, people were like, you got Ivermectin on your truck.

[C]

Oh, gross.

[B]

I had to say no.

[C]

They were coming up to you. They were gonna hang up.

[B]

It's for the animals. It's for the animals.

[C]

Does being able to treat a variety of animals require a lot of different training?

[B]

Yes.

[C]

How different are the internal workings of a horse versus, I don't know, me?

[B]

They're pretty different. So all of the farm animals are pretty different. The things that are the most similar are goats, sheep, and cows. They're pretty much like goats and sheep are basically mini cows, but the horse is different, and then a pig is different. And then they all absorb medications differently. And you can use different medications on each species.

[C]

I got a Pig. Now, I don't know how much bigger he's going to get. I haven't been able to pick him up in, like, maybe five months. He's got. I mean, he's maybe 70 pounds, 60 pounds. That's my guess. My guess is he's 55. 60 pounds.

[B]

How old is he?

[C]

He's three.

[B]

Oh, okay. He's gonna stay small. Yeah, Yeah.

[C]

I think his parents were, like, 50 pounds right around that mark, so I knew that going in. Well, it's not small, £50 when he's running at you. It's a little scary sometimes. And how often do I need to clip these hooves? They're starting to look like. I don't know if you know the iron chic, but he used to wear a funny boot. Is it bad if I don't get these hooves?

[B]

You do need to get them trimmed. Yeah. So it depends how I do. Yeah.

[C]

All right. So you don't think my pig's gonna get much bigger. That's good, because I don't. I can't handle it.

[B]

Oh, and to answer your question, 6 months to 12 months, depending on how much they wear down their feet for their trimming.

[C]

Oh, I've flown over that amount. Hey, what about pigs getting lonely? My pig seems to be fine living alone.

[B]

Yeah, don't worry about it.

[C]

Don't worry about it. Yeah, but he also plays with my dog every day.

[B]

Yeah. As long as a pig is not alone alone, very commonly, they're fine. But everything that you read will tell you otherwise. I've had many times where people will add another pig thinking that they need a friend, and it's terrible. They fight, they don't want to be together, and then they have to house them separately, and they got two fighting pigs.

[C]

I love this.

[B]

And so you.

[C]

Great news, Katie. Good stuff. This is exciting.

[B]

You ask me weird questions about your pig's weird penis or something.

[C]

Oh, my goodness. Why does my pig's. Why does my pig's penis look like it looks. I didn't know that before I had a pig.

[B]

So there's different types of ejaculators. One is friction and one is pressure. So with a pig, it's a pressure so it fits into the cervix. And then the cervix is tight rather than like a moving in and out where you would get friction, it just locks in and then ejaculates. So it's a perfect fit in with the female cervix.

[D]

Like a transformer.

[B]

Like a transformer.

[C]

It's horrific. It is a Horrific.

[B]

You know what's more horrific is the amount which you probably know. Although your pig was little.

[C]

Yeah, it was little, but it was just, just constant.

[B]

It's so much.

[C]

And it was spraying on you. If you picked them up and startled them, it was like you were just sprayed everywhere.

[B]

Like a farm hog. An adult farm hog can produce 500 mils at a time. It's a half a liter.

[C]

Yeah. That's beautiful. Are you kidding me? Oh, it's the grossest thing I've ever heard.

[B]

That's a lot. That's a lot.

[C]

Yeah. Peter north, think about that. You used to.

[B]

I mean, picture of a liter fluid bag. Like I don't know what a liter is.

[C]

I'm thinking of a bold Pepsi 2 liter bottle.

[B]

Oh yeah.

[C]

Getting into Six Flags for half off.

[B]

Oh, another fun fact about pigs. So if your pig gets out and starts living off the land, it only takes them two weeks to revert back to being feral, where they'll start growing bigger tusks, they'll start showing other like wild boar things. Two weeks.

[C]

It's like the movie Castaway just immediately turn into a monster living off the land.

[B]

It's pretty.

[C]

So that means if I do get sick of my pig, I could just open the door.

[B]

Well then a mountain lion is going to eat it.

[C]

Well, not. Not if he makes it two weeks. If he makes it two weeks, he has a fighting chance. I like it. That's pretty. That's a pretty good fact. What's the most exotic pet you've been called to treat?

[B]

Zonkey. Which is a zebra donkey.

[C]

Oh man, these people are Frankenstein in these animals.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

A zonkey.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Is a zebra donkey. Donkey. Oh, we got to get a zonky.

[B]

Don't do it.

[C]

Oh no.

[B]

They're terrible.

[C]

They're mean.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Llamas and alpacas. You dealing with them a lot?

[B]

Yes, I just got spit on yesterday.

[C]

Do you like them?

[B]

I do like them.

[C]

Was that bay a llama or an alpaca? Or was that a different unrelated, an angry client?

[B]

No, I'm just kidding. It was an alpaca. Yeah. The spit tastes terrible. I got spit on.

[C]

Taste. Why did you taste close? Once you get spit on? That's unfortunate. Once you taste it, that's on you.

[B]

It tastes terrible.

[C]

Uh huh. And I'll pack a spit on you. I mean, say what you want about that, it makes your day work so much better than 99% of the rest of the people that come home from work.

[B]

I think so. I mean, being outside is a Major plus for me.

[C]

Yeah. And getting spit on by an alpaca is pretty cool. What are you supposed to do when there's a mandatory evacuation and you've got a farm full of animals?

[B]

You have to be ready. You have to be ready. So we see that all the time. Because we work with the county, we cross fire lines and we will help with evacuations we like. I've myself evacuated a bunch of horses and pigs and whatever ducks you have to be prepared. And then there are a lot of people. The community comes together in a really beautiful way where pretty much there's always somebody that will be able to come in and get your animal if you don't have a trailer. So Ventura county has an organization that will come in there, and they're all certified and whatnot that will help you move your animals out and they'll have trailers.

[C]

But am I legally supposed to load up my chickens?

[B]

It's your choice.

[C]

Okay, but my choice doesn't mean I legally have to. Then.

[B]

You do not legally have to.

[C]

I don't know that I want to.

[B]

You can't not load your chickens up.

[C]

Are you kidding me? I have kids that are annoying the shit out of me. Now you want me to have a bed full of chickens, too? In the truck? Oh, this is awful.

[B]

Yeah. So when the most recent fires were going on, we actually had a lineage of people that were offering up their homes for animals like that. So they were calling into us and

[C]

saying, like, oh, just put. Put. No.

[B]

In their barns or stalls or whatever.

[C]

Yeah, Their backyards open their door to chickens. Tell me about the charity that you and your husband started to help. Was it just 16 and 17 year

[B]

olds or 16 through 18?

[C]

16 through 18.

[B]

So it's called the NEN Foundation. We basically started it because I was seeing animals that were dying without see having vet care because there are so few large animal veterinarians. And we looked at the whole industry and said, how can we fix this industry? And really, it comes down to, we need more vets. We need more large animal specific. There's enough veterinarians coming out of school to fit the need, but there's so few large animal veterinarians coming out that I'll give you some stats. I don't want to bore you, but the.

[C]

I'll cut out the boring part.

[B]

Each school graduates anywhere from like 5 to 10 large animal vets a year. And there's somewhere around, like 26 veterinary schools in the U.S. okay. Three years out, 70% of those vets will go into small animal Based off of lifestyle or they get injured or they need more money, what any number of reasons. They realize they don't like being outside.

[C]

So what a weird thing to realize.

[B]

All right, so 70% of those people are. Are gone within three years. So there's a very small amount of people that actually make it through their career doing large animal. And that number is equine and production mixed. So anyone who works on a large animal is that number. It comes out to about one vet per state per year.

[C]

So now you're trying to churn them out.

[B]

Yeah. So we created this structured program where it takes 16 to 18 year olds through a basic, like vet knowledge. They get hands on knowledge. We partnered with Underwood Family Farms in Moorpark so that they can learn how to handle farm animals, how to give shots, everything from like where their flight zones are, how you take care of them.

[C]

You don't make those kids do that thing where they put the big glove over the huge penis.

[B]

No.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

You ever been involved in that?

[B]

Yes, yes, I have. Too many times.

[C]

What's it smell like?

[B]

I mean, it all smells the same.

[C]

Okay. It just seems horrific.

[B]

It's dangerous.

[C]

Yes. It also seems extreme.

[B]

It's very dangerous.

[C]

It does seem dangerous. How long have you guys been doing this?

[B]

So we started the foundation about four years ago.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

And initially it was to raise money for a hospital for large animals, which is still our ultimate goal is that we want to have a hospital. A lot of the large animals that are.

[C]

A horsebital.

[B]

A horsebital. That's a great one. So our hospital is going to be able to take care of all farm animals. Because right now the only. If you want to do advanced diagnostics and things for farm animals, you have to go up to Davis to do it. So there's nothing in Southern California if you want to MRI your cow.

[C]

And I don't even know what. Where Davis is. Where's Davis?

[B]

It's in Northern California.

[C]

Like.

[B]

Oh, it's like an eight hour drive.

[C]

You gotta.

[B]

I know.

[C]

How long is that by horseback?

[B]

Five days.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

So it started with that and then developed into the more educational side where we're like, let's inspire the next generation of veterinarians. So we take these. Right now it's all women, but it's for women and men. Anybody who wants to be.

[C]

Why is it all women? Why does it just churn out so many alt women?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

You know what I'm talking about?

[B]

Yes. The interesting thing too is that most alt people go to small animal.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Large Animal is more cowgirls. Cowgirls? Yeah.

[C]

What do they call those things? A buckle bunny.

[B]

A buckle bunny? I don't know. They do. Yeah.

[C]

Are you considered a buckle bunny?

[B]

No. I think a buckle bunny is someone who, like, chases the rodeo cowboys.

[C]

Okay, got it.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Were you into cowboys?

[B]

No.

[C]

Is your husband a cowboy? No, he's not. He's a city slicker.

[B]

He's a city slicker? Yeah. Yeah. I forced him into the ranch life.

[C]

You know, where your bread is buttered.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Have you ever had to make the phone call like, hey, this is not a safe place for this animal. We need to get. You have?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Do you have the authority to take the animal?

[B]

I don't, but I work with LA county and Ventura county, so I'm the contracted large animal vet for both counties. So whenever they have a situation where they need large animal vet assistance, they'll call me to help them.

[C]

Have you ever been like, oh, I think this guy might be having physical relations with this goat?

[B]

Yes.

[C]

You've seen it? Oh, it's amazing. How did you know? How did you know?

[B]

It's a vibe, man. It's a vibe.

[C]

Yeah. It's like the same as the chicken lady that can tell.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

That guy's touching that goat. A little awkward. That is really crazy. That's not common, though.

[B]

That's not common at all. And that actually was like someone who called us and was like, I think this is happening there. So it was not like, I didn't, like, walk in, like, oh, my God,

[C]

was it, like, happening? I'm gonna push. Was it happening like. Like one person was doing this or it was like, this was set up to be a place for this.

[B]

One person was doing it. Yeah.

[C]

Well, there's always one bad egg. Apple. I don't know. What's the expression? Probably Apple for this one.

[B]

Probably. What's worse? That one.

[C]

We'll be right back. Hopefully you guys don't need a reminder, but you have to make sure you're checking the Upside app before you fill up, Eat out, or grocery shop. The Upside app is free and it gets you cash back on gas, groceries, and dining. The three things that are draining your wallet right now. Don't miss out. Here's how it works. Open the app, claim an offer, pay with your card like normal, and get paid. That's it. Users earn 1 million in cash back every single week. And unlike other programs, you can stack upside with your existing credit card and and loyalty rewards. Upside has given back $1 billion to its users to find out how much you could earn. Download the free upside app and use promo code Tosh to get an extra 25 cents back for every gallon on your first tank of gas. That's an extra 25 cents back on every gallon on your first tank of Gas. Using promo code Tosh. What we need to do is have Pete when we fill up the tour bus. Now we're sitting pretty. Picture this. It's late at night and you're scrolling through your feeds when all of a sudden you see it. That one product that you've been looking for. You click on the link, add to cart, maybe even shop around a little more before finally hitting checkout. As you're filling in your address, you realize you don't have your card anywhere near you. That's when you see it. That purple pay button that has all of your information saved, making checkout as simple as tapping on your screen. From managing inventory to international shipping, to processing returns and more, with Shopify, everything is all in one place, making your life easier and your business operations smoother. And if you get stuck, Shopify is always around to share advice with their award winning 247 customer support. Start your business day or with the industry. Best business partner Shopify and start hearing. Sign up for your $1 per month trial today at shopify.com tosh go to shopify.com tosh that's shopify.com tosh tosh. Do you eat meat?

[B]

I do. So I was vegetarian for three, four years. I grew up eating a lot of meat. And then the more I started to work on farm animals, the harder it was for me to separate pet and food. So it wasn't. I don't have a big, like, political ideal about it. It was more so just for me and my like, mental state with the animals. I don't eat chickens and turkey because I have those as pets and I can't mentally separate it.

[C]

I have no problem mentally separating the chickens. I do. I would never eat my chickens. I eat chicken. I eat pork.

[B]

You eat pork still?

[C]

Hold on. I had given pork up for 20 years and then I had children and they eat everything and then leave everything. And I'm just this person from the generation where I can't leave a breakfast burrito on the. So then I honestly started eating bacon again because my children would leave it on their plate.

[B]

And where you're like, this tastes so good.

[C]

And I'm like, well, I'm not going to waste it.

[B]

It's.

[C]

It wasn't for me originally, but now. But anyway, yeah, I'm not going to eat my own pig.

[B]

Right. I. I don't eat pork anymore either.

[C]

Everybody that's on the show gets a gift. It's just junk that's around my house, so don't get excited.

[B]

You. A gift.

[C]

What's that?

[B]

I brought you a gift.

[C]

Oh, I'm going to go first. This first gift. Oh, this is good. You're going to love this. But I figure you have dirty feet. And I don't. I don't ask about your politics, but somebody gave me this. It says. It says, if you voted for Trump and can read this, you're too close to my house. Now, the thing is, as much as I hate. As much as I hate Trump, I hate words written on stuff in my house. So I was like, I don't want that. But I figure you've got dirty feet. I'm sure you'll have use for that. You're going to put that on the floor. You're going to love that. This again, more words. I don't want this, but my pets make my breakfast. Somebody thought that was a cute idea for my mom.

[B]

They do make my breakfast.

[C]

This. This has got horseshoes on it. This is from Aspen. I don't know. I've never, I've never worn any.

[B]

Has anyone worn it?

[C]

No, no one's worn it. It's a hat. They gave it to me. I just did a festival there. They gave me a hat, but I'm like, I'm not wearing that. It has horseshoes on it. It's weird. This. I figure your house. This is not nice to say, but I don't mean it that way. I'm guessing sometimes you bring your work home with you, I. E. You stink to high heavens.

[B]

So I put on my clean boots today.

[C]

I always get candles in my green rooms. That's how I get candles. But I don't. Sometimes they take liberties on things like sugar cookie. I don't want that. You're going to love it.

[B]

This is actually really thoughtful. Thank you. This one has horses on stink.

[C]

Look at this. This has horses on it.

[B]

I love horses.

[C]

38. $38. Who prices something? 3,895. This one must be. That's not bad. I don't hate that one.

[B]

Are you sure you want to give it away?

[C]

Yeah, of course I have. Every show I do, my rider has two local candles in it. So I just get. After a year of doing like 100 shows, that's a lot of candles.

[B]

What made you want to put candles in your writer?

[C]

Well, I like candles. I like the smell of those. Well, I have one. I usually have one burning in the green room the whole time I'm there because I don't want the regular bright lights on. And then I take one or two home. But anyway, again, there's just candles that I don't like. Oh, look, I'll give you the. Here. I hate. My wife always sticks these things everywhere in the house because she thinks it's cute, yet all we do is light them with lighters. Sometimes you have an extra. This thing, right? I don't want.

[B]

Your son hasn't figured out how to light these yet? No, my daughter lit. I gotta hide these.

[C]

Is she in pyro?

[B]

My little menace.

[C]

She's a little pyro.

[B]

She lit Here.

[C]

Get all this off my head. Don't scratch the table.

[B]

Is this a gift, too?

[C]

That's not really. It just. You can have it. Just to store all your candles.

[D]

I have so many all your candles

[B]

gifts that I got a store now. There's a candle lit right here.

[C]

Oh, wait. I have something else for you. This is so stupid. But you don't eat bacon. But it doesn't matter. The Bacon Festival. We talked about them one time on the show, and they just sent us all these shirts from the Bacon Festival.

[B]

No way.

[C]

Yeah. And I figured you'd give these out to some of those farm people that you deal with, but now it's just a box of bacon stuff. You'll love it.

[B]

I can.

[C]

Look at this. It says bacon. You can give it to people that own a pig. They'll be happy.

[B]

Bacon, buddy.

[C]

Doesn't matter. You're gonna love all that, too.

[B]

So cute.

[C]

This is the rule in the show. Oh, I love this. That was good.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Do you want your gifts?

[C]

Yes. What do you have? Well, it's in your pocket.

[B]

I had to hide it because you're. Your dog will chew it.

[C]

That's fair. Was it a lip balm?

[B]

There's three things in here.

[C]

What is this?

[B]

It was with my lip balm. That is the tip of a goat's penis.

[D]

You've wanted one of those.

[B]

You know, I bet you did. So male goats will get urinary blockages because the way that their penis ends, it's called the pizzle. But it's a urethral process and it's very skinny. And if they get a bladder stone, it can get stuck there, and then they can't urinate. And it's a true emergency that it can be fatal if you don't fix it. So one of the ways that we do that is we sedate them, and we have to actually take the penis out of the sheath that it lives in. And you cut that urethral process off, the pizzle.

[C]

I mean, such a small amount to cut off.

[B]

And that's the stone inside the pizzle.

[C]

What's the thing sticking out of the stone?

[B]

That's the pizzle itself. It's the dried tissue.

[D]

That's neat.

[C]

Pizzle. That sounds like a dog would call his pizza. Yeah. Okay. Okay. I can't wait to know what I'm touching here then. By the way, I have to comment that one.

[D]

You have to taste that one.

[B]

You have to taste.

[C]

He's been in his palm so warm.

[B]

You're welcome.

[C]

All right. What is. What is. Oh, is this gonna be horrific as well?

[B]

These are horse teeth.

[C]

Oh, wow.

[B]

I almost brought you a pig tooth because I knew that you had a pig, but I was like, no, but you'll have your own pig teeth pretty soon.

[C]

This is a horse.

[B]

So those are two horse teeth.

[C]

That's not a healthy horse tooth, is it?

[B]

Right, right. I had to extract them. So that one just looks kind of green just because I cleaned it with a green fluid. But this is what a more normal one looks like. And then you have a more diseased one where the root is really bulbous.

[C]

Oh, that's diseased. So this was buried. This was like.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Was that just filed down, or is that just. You just cut off some of it?

[B]

That's just normal wear and tear. That's the regular chewing edge.

[C]

Just from eating hay all day. How do they get so big just eating hay? You ever ask yourself that?

[B]

It's their hind gut.

[C]

What's the hind gut mean?

[B]

Their colon is gigantic, and it ferments and it breaks down the hay into digestible quality that we can't. So that's how they same. It's kind of same with a cow, but it's their digestive tract. Very different, but yeah.

[C]

This is disgusting.

[B]

I thought you like it.

[C]

I mean, I like it. I'm happy that I learned the word pizzle.

[B]

I brought you more gifts.

[C]

What? All right, what else do you think?

[B]

Because I know that you like shirts with words on them.

[C]

Oh, God. Well, words. It depends on what the words are. What do these say?

[B]

It's my company.

[C]

Oh, that's nice. That's. No. Oh, it's a 50. I love a poly cotton blend. It just makes a shirt softer. It's nice. Now, I'll cut the tag off, of

[B]

course, but I brought a bunch of sizes. So that.

[C]

Okay, that's nice, everybody. Can I share with everyone here?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Look at this.

[B]

The small one is for you.

[C]

What I like green. Green or blue is going to be the one I'm going to take.

[B]

Okay, good. I don't know which sizes I brought.

[C]

I'm not going to. It doesn't matter.

[B]

One's largely this one. Mm.

[C]

This is lovely. That's very nice of you. Look at you. All right, Good job. Hey, Katie, thank you for being on the show.

[B]

Thank you.

[C]

Appreciate it. Paw show. I want to thank Dr. Nen for being on the show. That was awfully kind of her to give us some swag and some teeth. The teeth were disturbing. I think I'm ready to bury the hatchet for her killing two of my chicks.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

All right, well, we got to do some plugs. Patreon.com tosshow Become a member and see what you've been missing. And then when you find out that it's not that great, keep your mouth shut. Yeah. Just keep quiet and keep paying five bucks a month.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Don't be a jerk. Okay.

[D]

What are you gonna do with that?

[C]

Five? Yeah. But Eddie, on the other hand, I'm

[D]

in pretty good use.

[C]

He's gonna put his kids through college. My First Farewell tour tickets to see Eddie and I, all of 2026, on sale now. It's been brought to my attention Eddie, someone else has a My first farewell tour, legendary comedian Jeff Allen. Now, before I sincerely apologize, maybe our tour name was out first, but regardless, I want to remind him that this was named by a fan member on our show. And I'm positive that our fan member is an anonymous person. Probably stole it. Well, I'm not changing it now. You know the tickets have been printed.

[D]

Right? But when you're purchasing tickets, make sure

[C]

you're purchasing if you go see me or if you go see Jeff Allen, you're gonna have a good show.

[D]

That's true.

[C]

So I'm not gonna be mad about that. Tossshowstore.com get some merch. Hit the music. Oh, is this new Limp Bizkit?

[D]

Sounds like it.

[C]

You guys know Eddie looks exactly like Fred Durst now, right?

[D]

Get your hands up.

[C]

They're interchangeable. They're interchangeable. Eddie and I still listen to Fred Durst every day.

[D]

We kind of. I mean, every day.

[C]

We do this every day. Okay. There's only one reason we wake up, and that's for the nookie. The what?

[D]

The nookie.

[C]

So you can take your cookie and stick it up your yard.

[D]

That and then we go right into disturbing.

[C]

All right, let's hear. Let's do they love me?

[D]

All right, this is a love me from Lauren via email.

[C]

Oh, an email.

[D]

An email.

[C]

Buddy, whose email account did it go to?

[D]

The show's got an email.

[C]

Does the show have an email? It does. People, why don't you send us some more emails? Okay.

[D]

All right, here it is. I love your show. You're so funny. So quick witted, fun, enthusiastic and upbeat. It's a pleasure to listen to you talk on your own with your lovely buddies, on your show, with your guests and with your dog. Keep it up.

[C]

Oh, I mean, Eddie gushing. You're. You're trolling me right now. That put Carl and I to sleep.

[D]

You think I'm writing these fake ones?

[C]

No, I'm not saying that. I'm saying you're picking ones that you know I'm going to think are stupid. That is bonkers. Who. Why would they write an email to me just that long?

[D]

She loves you.

[C]

She just really likes the show. Well, that's. I mean, that's nice, right? A little concerning.

[D]

Well, she used all the letters.

[C]

Give me the I love me not so I can get grounded again.

[D]

Okay, this is from Planes are Neat. I saw you in Evansville. Lol. You walk funny.

[C]

I mean, I don't take that as they love me. Not they. Maybe they say I walk funny. First of all, I'm a comedian. You went to see, by the way. How much more are we gonna talk about Evansville? This shit town has never been promoted more than it is on my podcast.

[D]

Hutch is like, I didn't recommend that pizza.

[C]

Did he really? He backed out of it.

[D]

He said he didn't recommend the pizza. He recommended the place.

[C]

He recommended the Stromboli pizza and said we'd never taste anything better.

[D]

I don't know.

[C]

Yes.

[D]

Confused him.

[C]

Now fuck off. No, Hutch, you did too. That is nuts. Now, second of all, I want to point out that this is not a love me not. They came to my show, so they're obviously fans, right? They said lol. Laughing out loud. Okay. And I say I walk funny. I do walk funny. I think it's just. I'm just awkward. It's just such a weird thing to walk on stage. I'm always, like, uncomfortable.

[D]

I agree with you 100%.

[C]

The walk is too far. You know, it's like, all right, thank you. They're clapping. I've never felt secure in that. You know, like when you see, like, Eddie Murphy and like, oh, coming out in sexy leather pants when I was a kid. Like, I was, like, there. That's what you're supposed to do. But that's just complete garbage.

[D]

Oh, it's the stage.

[C]

So, no, I admit that I walk funny. Some people have criticized my posture. My posture is perfect when it comes to actually sitting up. Sitting or standing. I hold my head right. But I admit I have a weird gait. I've always had a weird gait. My brother mocks my gait. Pierre hates the way I jog. He filmed me the other day jogging. Just got on his E bike and rode next to me while Carl and I were jogging for the little tips

[D]

of how to look better when, you

[C]

know, just to make fun of me. And then he'll zoom in on it, and then he'll send me, like, my legs in a tight shot.

[D]

Yeah, he thinks your legs are funny.

[C]

Yeah. Well, him. See you next week.