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Daniel Tosh
This episode of Tosh show is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever find yourself playing the budgeting game? Well, with the name your price tool from Progressive, you can find options that fit your budget and potentially lower your bills. Try it@progressive.com Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates Price and coverage match limited by state law. Not available in all states. Hey, it's Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile. Now I was looking for fun ways to tell you that Mint's offer of unlimited Premium Wireless for $15 a month is back. So I thought it would be fun if we made $15 bills, but it turns out that's very illegal. So there goes my big idea for the commercial. Give it a try@mintmobile.com Switch upfront payment.
Eddie
Of $45 for a three month plan equivalent to $15 per month. Required new customer offer for first three months only. Speed slow after 35G. If network's busy. Taxes and fees extra.
Daniel Tosh
See mint mobile.com hey guys, it's me, Daniel. Do me a solid. I don't ask for a lot, but like and subscribe to this podcast also you could rate it highly. I would appreciate, maybe even write a review. Maybe we become best friends. Everything that I know about surfing probably stems from this man here. The way I act, the way I'm mean in the water.
Eddie
It's.
Daniel Tosh
It's because of this man right here. Toss show. Posh show. Tosh show. Pro show. Hello and welcome to Tosh Show. How was that, Eddie? That was pretty good. That's. That sets it up. Yeah, I mean, that really says it. You, you know that the show has begun and you're welcoming them, saying, hello, we welcome you. We welcome you. Fucking lady. It's nice to be here, Eddie.
Eddie
Yeah, buddy.
Daniel Tosh
Don't give me any spoilers about the Dolphins this season. I'm going to binge watch the season in February, okay? I'm positive they're, they're winning. You know, I watched all the things they did in the off season, so they set themselves up for success and I just can't wait to see it play out. Here's what we do. We watch the entire season and then I watch the super bowl live. Okay? I like watching YouTube TV. This isn't a plug. Lord knows YouTube. You could do me a solid, you know, manipulate the algorithm. Little better placement here and there. Okay. But I do have a bone to pick with you. Your TV recording system is great, but there's one huge flaw and it's your time bar at the bottom. I watch everything after it's happened. It's not like the old days where, oh, it's on for two and a half hours and you record that and you extend the recording an extra hour after. On YouTube TV they just give you however long it is. Okay, Right. And that's how long the time bar is. However long it needs to be. Exactly. The problem with that when you're constantly fast forwarding is you know how much more it's going to be to the end. So if it's a close game and you need it to go to overtime, you know that overtime's not happening. You know, you know that there's not going to be a fifth set in tennis, whatever the sport, I can tell when I'm nearing the end who's going to win based on this time bar. Right. So That's a flaw. YouTube, you need to, you need to extend the time bar to a meaningless length so I can't predict the outcomes. This is real, this is a real problem. But that's a real solution. I don't know, I don't know if that's the solution. But yes, you can come up with a solution. You know where you wouldn't find that problem? Lipson. These guys get it. They're locked in. I just had a meeting, Eddie, and you weren't on the call. And I'll be honest with you, you weren't missed. I'm not going to add a lot. I'm going to sit back and listen. You were going to listen. I'm gonna Lipson. Lipson to what we're saying. Guys, I'm on this call for Libson. I don't know that I have to do this call until a day or so before and when. Anytime my manager, Christy or Pete tells me that I have to do something, I say fuck off. That's my immediate response. I don't want to do this. And they're like, no, no, no, this is gonna be good. You're just gonna do a call with some of their top ad guys and, and get some face time and you know that that'll, that'll make them happy and you can, you know, we're going to get some top tier ads on this show. Well, anyway, the day the call, I get an email like you're getting ready to join the call and my manager tells me who's going to be on the call. Usually there's a list of names so that I know who's on the call. You know, because it's a dog and pony show, I know how to turn it up anyway. There's 47 people on the call. And I'm like, oh, 47? Yes. So I'm just furious because then there's just faces all over my screen. I'm not good on a zoom. Anyway, the call starts, I get a nice intro and then they're like, take it away. Now. I'm just performing. It's a private gig. Yeah. I'm like, what? So I, you know, John's on the call, Pete's on the call. I, I do my thing, I do my jokes, I get people going. I let them know that, you know, we're here to play ball, we're excited about their company. You know, we want to, we don't want to sell nicotine products to children, but we will. Oh, yeah. Honestly, 100. If you pay us enough, I'll. I'll force a cigarette in my son's mouth. You know, kids, you gotta learn. I turned it over to John at one point. He's fucking half asleep during the. Just like, what, three kids? He has zero energy. I'm like, john, don't you know how to fucking fake it for five seconds in front of these people?
Eddie
I thought I did well.
Daniel Tosh
You thought you did well?
Eddie
Yeah, Pete.
Daniel Tosh
I thought I was doing well. Pete, how poorly did John do when I turned it over to him for five seconds?
Eddie
He was caught off guard.
Daniel Tosh
Of course he's caught off. How do you think I felt? But when I, when there's 40 something people in the call I got, everybody's just chiming in from all over the globe and I'm sure half of them hate me. You don't know that's the thing to think everyone's a fan is, you know, narcissism on another level. That's not where I'm at. But, you know, and by the way, it's one of these zoom calls where icons are floating up where people are putting the crying emoji or laughing. Oh, that's good. And I'm supposed to feed off that? Did you give them some back? Some. Like I'm some 14 year old. I'm not feeding off that. That's not going to help. I don't, I don't need your little fucking. Ah, somebody putting an eggplant emoji.
Eddie
Eggplant emoji?
Daniel Tosh
No, no one sent up an eggplant emoji. Whatever. That was it. That was your one where you got me to do it. Do the little song and dance. Now, going forward, let's just, let's just have Pete and Eddie on the call and John can Come back when he shows that he can turn it up a notch.
Eddie
I just needed some coffee.
Daniel Tosh
You got to prove yourself.
Eddie
John just needed some coffee.
Daniel Tosh
People are like, well, why do you want to do ads in the first place? Why do you want to sell more ads in the first? It's like we just got to get to a point where we're making enough money that we want to be here.
Eddie
Yeah.
Daniel Tosh
And we're so close. We're so close right there. We're on the edge of it. We're on the edge.
Eddie
We're edging.
Daniel Tosh
We're edging. We're edging. We're all edging. Look who's alive now over here.
Eddie
John.
Daniel Tosh
Yeah, now John's got bits. Where was that during the call against coffee that could have gotten us a fucking an ad with Red Bull. Anyway, they're asking me all kinds of what kind of products do you like? I mean, I don't know, I like to surf, but that's not good because I don't like surfers and I don't want to advertise for surfing. I would advertise for today's guests, my lifelong shaper. Enjoy. Everyone in Tosh Nation loves when I share stories about my body involuntarily emptying itself. So sometimes in the woods, on the side of a highway, running down what at the time seems like a never ending hallway, well, the content you crave might be over thanks to AG1. AG1 Next Gen is a daily health drink clinically shown to support gut health. AG1 is good for energy, daily nutrients and immune support. But what tickles my fancy is that AG1 is clinically shown to enrich the gut microbiome. It's got prebiotics, it's got probiotics, it's got all the biotics. You can trust AG1 for your daily nutrients. Because they use a clinically backed formula. AG1 Next Gen is helping to raise the standard with their trials and quality testing. They continually invest in rigorous peer reviewed clinical trials to make sure their product is delivering what our bodies need. An AG1 is NSF certified for sport, the gold standard in independent quality and safety certifications. Head to drink ag1.com tosh to get a free welcome kit including a bottle of vitamin D and five AG1 travel packs when you first subscribe. A $76 value. That's drinkag1.com tosh the other day we were out of something at the house and one of the kids was melting down because of it. Or maybe it was my father in law, hard to tell the difference, you're probably thinking, just go to the store and replace it. Well, it's football season, so if you think I'm going to the store to restock anything, it sure won't be on a Saturday or Sunday. Not a Monday or Friday. Thursday, actually. Sometimes games start on Wednesday, which leaves Tuesday. But that's the day I deliver my podcast fans the content that they crave. So what did I do? I opened Instacart's easy to use app. After a few taps, my order was placed, and in as little as 30 minutes, my delivery ended the meltdown so I could continue yelling at the TV the entire game. I'm a fan. Instacart brings convenience, quality, and ease right to your door so you can focus on what matters most, which this time of year might be watching the game and letting Instacart restock whatever it is that my kids are hollering about. Nothing could be more convenient. Download the Instacart app and use code TOSHOW20 to get $20 off your first order of $80 or more. That's code TOSHOW20 to get twenty dollars off your first order of eighty dollars or more. Offer valid for a limited time. Excludes restaurants. Additional terms apply.
Eddie
I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod.
Daniel Tosh
Say hi, Dan.
Eddie
Hey.
Daniel Tosh
How's it going today?
Eddie
It's going good, man.
Daniel Tosh
Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner.
Eddie
At Morgan and Morgan, which is America's.
Daniel Tosh
Largest injury law firm.
Eddie
That's pretty awesome. I think I saw a billboard of yours recently that said 20 billion. 120 billion is an insane number.
Daniel Tosh
Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think somewhere north. Probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows.
Eddie
So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan?
Daniel Tosh
What? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's £529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call.
Eddie
24. 7.
Daniel Tosh
365. Wow.
Eddie
Dan Morgan from Morgan and Morgan, America's largest injury law firm. Thanks for coming by the show.
Daniel Tosh
Thanks for having me.
Eddie
Visit forthepeople.com for an office near you.
Daniel Tosh
Paw Show. My guest today has helped shaped my life. When I was just a kid growing up in Florida, he promised me that if I got into his car, he would take me surfing. Turns out he wasn't a liar, and I didn't get molested. Please welcome, all the way from my hometown of Titusville, Florida, my surfboard shaper, DC Darren Craig.
Eddie
Thank you very much.
Daniel Tosh
There's no one on this show. There's no one that's ever been in this chair that's known me longer. Now, there's been people that have known me better. My wife, for instance. She knows me better now. Your wife passed away? You're not supposed to laugh when someone says that question. I'm teasing you, Derek. Listen, that was. Just caught him off guard. All right, hold on. Let me get into this. Let's start the show. Do you believe in ghosts?
Eddie
No.
Daniel Tosh
I bet you do.
Eddie
No way.
Daniel Tosh
No. All right, now, you were originally not from Titusville, Florida.
Eddie
No, I was born in Killeen, Texas.
Daniel Tosh
Where's Killeen?
Eddie
It's like, kind of in the. Like, little bit in the north. Like central north, maybe.
Daniel Tosh
What were you doing in the army base?
Eddie
My dad was in the Army.
Daniel Tosh
Is that why you became such a hippie? You just went the opposite way?
Eddie
I guess so. I don't know.
Daniel Tosh
Did you ever consider joining the Army?
Eddie
No.
Daniel Tosh
I can't imagine you defending our freedoms.
Eddie
Holy cow.
Daniel Tosh
That would be amazing. As a kid from Florida, what got you into surfing?
Eddie
I was probably, like 5 years old. I think I remember going to the beach for the first time with a Styrofoam Walgreens board or something, and just hours and hours and only getting to my feet one time, like after 40 attempts. And I thought, okay, if I'm, you know, if I want to do it 40 times and fail and then only succeed once, I'm pretty much, you know, I think I like it. I think it's.
Daniel Tosh
For me, everything that I know about surfing probably stems from this man here. The way I act, the way I'm mean in the water. It's because of this man right here. Like, here's like, little things, like, when I was a kid, when I was a child, if anybody asked me, they knew that I surfed today. How was the surf? He'd be like, you don't say it was good. You say, ah, sorry. Like you don't want to get more. The goal is to not get more people to surf. His entire business is surfing, yet he never wants anyone to surf.
Eddie
You don't tell anybody.
Daniel Tosh
You don't tell him where you went. You don't tell them how good it was, the day. And these are things that to this day I just do instinctively without. Even if somebody in the water asks me what time it is. And of course, I don't have a watch. You always estimate like an hour later than what you think, case they're running late, they'll get out and leave. It's just nonstop the nonsense that he, like, forced into my brain as a child. Here's the thing. I've known you since I was 12 years old, so that's 38 years. But at 12, you were. I can't do the math here, but you were 24, 25.
Eddie
Sure.
Daniel Tosh
So you seemed like an old man to me then. And so now that I'm an old man, you just. Have always been just an old man.
Eddie
Yeah.
Daniel Tosh
How old are you?
Eddie
63.
Daniel Tosh
63. Oh, the sun hasn't been kind to you? When did you start going by D.C. did you always go by D.C. or was it just the name of your surfboards?
Eddie
Just the boards. Like, when I was in high school, they have that vocational thing and you can have an imaginary job. And so I thought, oh, I'll make surfboards. And my buddy drew a little logo and used the dc, and that's pretty much where it started.
Daniel Tosh
How old were you when you made your first surfboard?
Eddie
Oh, probably 82. So, I mean, I. Yeah, I don't know how old I was, but is.
Daniel Tosh
There any chance that board is still in existence?
Eddie
I still got them.
Daniel Tosh
You have your original board?
Eddie
Yeah.
Daniel Tosh
Oh, that's pretty great.
Eddie
I got, like, a warehouse with about 80 boards just stuffed in there.
Daniel Tosh
Do you have any clue the exact number of boards you've made in your life from start to finish?
Eddie
No, I quit counting after a while, but probably, like, you know, 4,000 somewhere around in there.
Daniel Tosh
And you have always been, for people that don't know a shaper, sometimes shapers just shape the board and then off to the glassers to put the fiberglass on. But you, from start to finish, did every aspect of your company. You made board start, which is also why us kids never got our surfboards on time.
Eddie
Exactly.
Daniel Tosh
You used to tell us four to six weeks, I think, when I was a child. Yeah, that was usually the range. But then you knew that half of us weren't gonna ever pay or we were gonna, like, draw that out for another five months. But you wanted a shaper that surfed, right? Did you consider yourself a shaper over a surfer or is like, no, no, I'm gonna surf first.
Eddie
Yeah, I think I probably. Surfing came first, and then that was just later. I wanted to make my own Boards, you know, it's just cheaper to build your own board.
Daniel Tosh
So it certainly was never a financial decision like, I'm gonna be a shaper. I'm gonna be a famous shaper. You never really cared about the business aspect. I would argue even as a youngster, I was like, oh, this guy hasn't figured out the business side of this. I could up his. But you didn't care about that.
Eddie
Not really.
Daniel Tosh
You were a soul surfer.
Eddie
I wanted time to go surfing.
Daniel Tosh
Let's talk about the money breakdown today. An average surfboard cost off a rack at a surf shop. What do you say? 800 bucks?
Eddie
Yeah.
Daniel Tosh
You've always been priced wrong. I'll get into that later.
Eddie
Sure, I agree.
Daniel Tosh
I'm going to just go back to when we were kids. You know, it would be around 250. 250 for the board. And if you did some fancy painting, which you did, you know, you'd tack on some. A few bucks. By the way, what do you charge for a brand new surfboard?
Eddie
Right now I'm charging 650.
Daniel Tosh
Now let's, let's get to the numbers. What does it cost you to make that $650 board?
Eddie
The blank is going to be about 100 bucks. It used to be 40. And then the resin, let's say a gallon is 50 bucks to do one board, and then the glass is another 35. And then if I use FCS or whatever, I have to pay for the fin boxes. Those are pretty expensive.
Daniel Tosh
The fin boxes are expensive.
Eddie
The fin boxes are expensive, yeah.
Daniel Tosh
So they're like gouging you on both ends because then we have to buy the fins.
Eddie
Yeah. No, I don't, I don't deal in fins anymore. I know, but they want to make that back.
Daniel Tosh
But they're, they're double dipping, right? Yes. Once you send me fucking 300 fins. And not the cheap shitty ones too. I want the $150 quad sets. Okay, so you're looking at probably my math is bad, but we forgot a few things.
Eddie
Yeah.
Daniel Tosh
I'm not talking labor, we're talking 200 to 250 to make this board.
Eddie
Right.
Daniel Tosh
Fair.
Eddie
Yeah.
Daniel Tosh
How many hours does it take you to make a surfboard? Start to finish? You ever figured it out?
Eddie
No, but it's a lot.
Daniel Tosh
You've done everything by hand forever.
Eddie
Yeah.
Daniel Tosh
Yeah, because now some people typing codes into a computer and this 3D printer board comes out and to be honest, they're better. They're not better, but if you get a magic shape, you can recreate it completely.
Eddie
That sounds like a great theory, but so far we've never been able to really nail that down. Like, they're all still got a hand finish them. And then the back end, all the laminating, that makes so much more of what the board really is. Like, it's only half the shape is only half of it.
Daniel Tosh
That's what people don't realize. So people that, that, that surf, like. Let's start with the top. The pros, they're going through. How many boards are they going through?
Eddie
Well, let's say, you know, you're a pro and you get 10 boards from your guy.
Daniel Tosh
How often?
Eddie
Probably a lot. Like, you know, if you're really, really good, you're probably getting like three, three or four times. But let's just say you have 10, they give you 10, you'll go and test them all. They're all supposedly the same, and you'll pick maybe one or two out of those 10 that you're going to keep, and you'll give the rest back because they don't work like you want it to.
Daniel Tosh
And how long do those boards last? Like. Like pros.
Eddie
Oh, no. For like, one contest, probably one contest and done.
Daniel Tosh
And they have them. So they're just flying through boards.
Eddie
Sure.
Daniel Tosh
Now, I.
Eddie
Too many.
Daniel Tosh
When you made me epoxy boards, which I understand was bad for your health, but I'll be honest with you, I actually prefer epoxy. They last so long. That's what I love about them.
Eddie
That's the other problem with the money, is you make this guy a board and it last him for eight years and he never comes back to get another one.
Daniel Tosh
Okay, so you're. You're. You like poly? Because we go through them. They delaminate, they. They break, they buckle.
Eddie
Yeah, no, I like it because it's. It's easier for me to build them. It's actually faster.
Daniel Tosh
Okay.
Eddie
Epoxy takes longer. Besides that, I'm getting.
Daniel Tosh
Most people prefer poly boards.
Eddie
Yeah, it seems to be coming back.
Daniel Tosh
It really is.
Eddie
I think epoxy is for, like, small waves.
Daniel Tosh
Well, I like small waves.
Eddie
Like, you know, last year in the contest, there was one day where it was small and every guy brought out his epoxy board.
Daniel Tosh
What are you talking about? What contest?
Eddie
And it was in Europe. I think it was France or something.
Daniel Tosh
You said the contest. Like I was supposed to fucking know what you're talking about. The amount of poison that you've breathed in, in your lifetime.
Eddie
A lot.
Daniel Tosh
What do you think it's done to you?
Eddie
Well, working with Epoxy resin. You can build up a sensitization to it. And I made so many epoxy boards that I definitely got sensitized. So I really don't mess with epoxy.
Daniel Tosh
Like, I don't build the whole board desensitize like you. You don't.
Eddie
Oh, you get like a skin reaction. Like a Benadryl is what you take for it when you get it. But you just like swelling and like, maybe a skin rash or whatever, something like that.
Daniel Tosh
The amount of sanding, the amount of this that you've done in your life.
Eddie
Wow.
Daniel Tosh
By the way, this morning, he's fixed three of my boards at my house this morning. He was like, he's just in the garage just doing ding. I'm like, I have an electric sander. He's like, I don't use electric sanders. Everything is by hand. Let me feel your fingers. Bring those hands up here. I mean, it's incredible the amount of work you've done with your hands. That doesn't feel rough.
Eddie
Yeah.
Daniel Tosh
Am I the only person that's given you more money than. Than what you charge me for a surfboard?
Eddie
Oh, for sure.
Daniel Tosh
Because I'm like, what are you doing, Darren? I'm like, just here. I try to get boards from you whenever we visit. Whether. Whether you come. If you come here, I need you to do ding repair. But if I go there, I need to grab a board or two. Yep, that's. That's usually the rule that works out. I mean, it turns out spot giving me a discount as a child has paid off big dividends.
Eddie
Yeah. You bought lots and lots of surfboard.
Daniel Tosh
What kind of board are you riding these days?
Eddie
I just made a 6. 6 twin fin.
Daniel Tosh
Oh, you are an old man.
Eddie
Yeah.
Daniel Tosh
How many surfboards do you think you've made me in my life? I know the answer.
Eddie
About over 20.
Daniel Tosh
Ha. No, it's way over.
Eddie
Is it?
Daniel Tosh
It's over 50.
Eddie
Is it really?
Daniel Tosh
It's under 100.
Eddie
I saw that one in your garage. I was like, I don't remember building it.
Daniel Tosh
Yeah, it's because you're high on fume.
Eddie
You can spend hours on the thing and forget about it.
Daniel Tosh
Like the wildfires in 2018, the Wolseley fires. They burned down a garage where all I was storing my surfboards, and I lost it. And I'll tell you something about those boards that I lost. Most of them I didn't care. But there's two that I feel so bad about. One was a long board because you fucking would never shape me. Longboards because it's too much work. It's too big.
Eddie
I love it now. I know, but it's fun.
Daniel Tosh
When you were a youngster, you would whine. I know. I guess too much.
Eddie
It's a lot.
Daniel Tosh
It is the other board that I lost in that fire. You made me a proper gun for Hawaii. And now a gun is a board that you ride large, surf in. Okay. And I happened at the time be dating a girl that grew up on the North Shore of Oahu. So I was like, I have to have a real gun. I'm going to start surfing these waves. Anyway, we broke up and then I stopped going to Hawaii and I never surfed the board. And it was a board that you made me that was unridden.
Eddie
Wow.
Daniel Tosh
And that's the board that to this day, it infuriates me that it burned up.
Eddie
Wow.
Daniel Tosh
It was a six, nine. I mean, just. Just pinned out. Oh, it was fun.
Eddie
Big way board.
Daniel Tosh
You don't shape boards full time anymore?
Eddie
No, there's so many choices now. There's so many different brands of boards and types. Like they don't care about a local made board anymore. They really don't care.
Daniel Tosh
Yo, Brevard County. Yeah, I just, I'm just. I can't believe this. That's disgusting. How many times a week do you think if there's decent surf do you surf?
Eddie
If it's good every day. I can go every day.
Daniel Tosh
You'll still surf your normal surf spot. Now, when we grew up, we would surf Playa Linda, which is the beach near Kennedy Space center in Titusville, Florida. It's a 15 to 20 minute drive, but if you're younger than 16 and don't have a car, you had to rely on the older surfers to take us.
Eddie
Yeah, that's the rub. No car, no surf.
Daniel Tosh
Yeah, but you've since quit surfing. Play, Linda. Really? You're more of a new Smyrna Inlet guy.
Eddie
Sure.
Daniel Tosh
Is that just because the waves are better or are you just tired of the riff raff in Titusville?
Eddie
Yeah, both.
Daniel Tosh
Did you know Titusville is named after Confederate Colonel Henry Theodore Titus, who won a game of dominoes against Captain Clark Rice to decide who could rename the town. We almost grew up in Riceville.
Eddie
Oh, no.
Daniel Tosh
Yeah, I just learned that on a call with the Lipson sales team. Anyway, Billy, you're a hoot. Why don't you go ahead and get us some six figure ads to read. Now, let's talk about you driving me to the beach when I was a child. Now, did someone drive you to the beach. When you were a kid, is it normal for surfers to groom groms?
Eddie
Yeah, I think it is in Titusville because we don't have access to the beach, so you have to have a car. And if your mom and dad aren't going to take you and drop you off 15 miles away in the middle of nowhere, you kind of need someone to take you.
Daniel Tosh
Did you ever think it was weird taking children?
Eddie
Not really.
Daniel Tosh
But here's the honest thing. You say, oh, well, times were different, right?
Eddie
But they're not.
Daniel Tosh
They're not because I live in a community where, like, I have children, friends that surf. And now they're in their 20s. But when I first moved here, they were. They were 12, 13, 14. They would walk down to the beach, but the hills to get home.
Eddie
Sure.
Daniel Tosh
They would always, hey, can I jump in? Jump in with you Now, I always felt you're like, oh, man, am I letting a child ride with me? This is. This is a liability. But I always felt since it was a golf cart and it's open air.
Eddie
They can jump out, they can jump.
Daniel Tosh
But you're less likely to get molested in a golf cart. Now, as a kid in Titusville, you. We were always trying to get, like, sponsored by DC like get on his team. And that gave you a discount of maybe 8%. I don't know.
Eddie
A board discount is all you're gonna get.
Daniel Tosh
It was garbage. But none of us were worth it to begin with.
Eddie
Right.
Daniel Tosh
Could you tell that none of these kids were gonna be professional surfers?
Eddie
I guess I wasn't really judging to see if they were gonna be pros. But you can definitely. I mean, I can spot if they're gonna be good or not. For sure. Definitely.
Daniel Tosh
I don't. I feel like our class was weak.
Eddie
Yeah, no, I don't remember anyone but you. Really?
Daniel Tosh
Yeah.
Eddie
That's the thing. Like, I'm just there every summer and there's a new crop of kids every year.
Daniel Tosh
Are you still hanging out with 15 year olds?
Eddie
I guess so. At the beach? Sometimes.
Daniel Tosh
That's the weird thing about surfing. People are always like, oh, do you want your kids to surf? And I go, not really. I want them to love the ocean and respect the ocean. But do I care if they surface? Not at all. Because it's the only Sport where a 12 year old is hanging out with a 63 year old and listening to your views all day. And I've listened to your views for 38 years. And I'll be honest with you, it's had A negative effect. Part of my routine once I got 16 and stuff going out at night revolved around we would go to Taco Bell. The other one was to drive by your factory at night and hope that you were working.
Eddie
No way.
Daniel Tosh
So that we would pop in and, you know, watch them shape for a little bit.
Eddie
And I'd be in there like, 9:30, 10:00 clock working and stuff. Yeah.
Daniel Tosh
Explain to me how you end up bringing me on a surf trip to Costa Rica when I was a minor. Without it sounding weird, I think you asked to go.
Eddie
I'm not really sure.
Daniel Tosh
So my first out of the country surf trip was with this man. Did my parents make you talk to them first?
Eddie
We did. I remember going to your house. Like.
Daniel Tosh
Like, what were they gonna do? Like, are you gonna touch his penis?
Eddie
I just. I remember. Not really. I was like, I have to go meet your parents. What?
Daniel Tosh
Did I tell you that? Yeah. Sorry. Well, thank you for doing it.
Eddie
Like, I mean, I wasn't even thinking that far ahead. I was like, yeah, we're going.
Daniel Tosh
You know who else was a great influence on me but did bad things? Dave Lesky. Okay, not bad things to me physically, that. But that's. Dave's gonna be like, what?
Eddie
No.
Daniel Tosh
Dave would. One of the sweetest men, you know, from my childhood, he would call the school and check me out.
Eddie
Wow.
Daniel Tosh
And he did it to a point sometimes where I didn't even know it was happening. And I would just get a call that, like, your dad's here to pick you up. Daniel and I would just leave and Dave would be out in his lowrider pickup truck, and he's like, there's waves. And I'm like, this 20 year olds just checked me out of school.
Eddie
Yeah, that sounds right. That sounds like Dave.
Daniel Tosh
We should call my mom, though, because she, She. I. I want to know why she let me leave the country. Let's see if she answers.
Eddie
Yeah, I want to hear too.
Daniel Tosh
Margot has an answer for this nonsense.
Eddie
Hey.
Daniel Tosh
Hey. I have a question for you. Okay. I'm at the podcast right now interviewing Darren Craig.
Eddie
Oh, yeah.
Daniel Tosh
And we were just talking. You want to say hi to him?
Eddie
Hi, Darren. Hi. How are you?
Daniel Tosh
You sound a little sick. How's your voice? What's wrong with that?
Eddie
No, we're up in North Carolina, but no, I got a cold.
Daniel Tosh
I haven't had that cold. Oh, you haven't had a cold in years? Yeah. You never get sick.
Eddie
I know.
Daniel Tosh
You seem like you get sick a lot. Question. Why did you let Darren take me out of the country when I was a minor to Costa Rica. Go ahead, explain yourself.
Eddie
I guess I trusted him that you were going to surf.
Daniel Tosh
What did you. Did you. He remembers. And I remember this, too, that he had to come over to our house and talk to you and dad before the trip.
Eddie
I don't remember that. That doesn't mean that.
Daniel Tosh
That doesn't mean it didn't happen. No, it happened. But. But. But what kind of question do you think you asked that gave you comfort to say, all right, leave the country, kid?
Eddie
I don't know. I don't think it was like that. They. We just talked, like, hey, well, I know.
Daniel Tosh
I just. I just. They had, like. I would never let some man take my son out of the country. There's just no chance.
Eddie
Yeah, that's pretty much it, I guess. We trusted you.
Daniel Tosh
You trusted me?
Eddie
You and Darren.
Daniel Tosh
All right, that's good. All right. That's good. That's all we wanted. Nothing, you know, nothing bad happened, but I was scared. And I'll tell you. I'll tell. I'll tell you. Just listen to the podcast and you'll learn why. All right.
Eddie
Okay.
Daniel Tosh
Love you.
Eddie
Bye.
Daniel Tosh
Here's how long ago that trip was. Do you know that on that flight we sat in the smoking section because it was cheaper?
Eddie
I remember that. Yeah. Didn't we Dr. All the way to Miami for that thing, too?
Daniel Tosh
I couldn't remember another thing. My parents shouldn't have allowed to save.
Eddie
$60 or something ridiculous.
Daniel Tosh
So I had no money. Do you remember that? All my beef jerky got stolen.
Eddie
No, but you had a ton of it.
Daniel Tosh
I stored it because I was gonna survive off of it. And they got into my bag, somebody at the airport.
Eddie
Oh, in the airport?
Daniel Tosh
No. So I didn't have any money. I went to Costa Rica for, like. We were there for weeks. And I didn't have money to stay in a hotel or anything, so I would have to, like, camp out some nights near.
Eddie
I remember that.
Daniel Tosh
But you made me camp out with. Who should have been my parents should have worried about Weird George guy that you brought.
Eddie
Yeah, that's the one.
Daniel Tosh
And that guy wore fishnet panties to bed. I remember that, too.
Eddie
It's the scariest thing ever.
Daniel Tosh
He. He had, like, sexy boy. It doesn't. This doesn't. This is just me as a child. We're up near Playa Negra, and I would camp illegally. And, you know, finally I was, like, telling Darren. I was like, hey, man. Cause he had. He had his girlfriend, and they were in a nice hotel, and by the Way, these are off season rentals. This was back when hotels in Costa Rica on beaches were 25 bucks a night.
Eddie
Yep, exactly.
Daniel Tosh
And so then finally I was like, just let me sleep in your hammock outside of your room. And then he even one night let me sleep on, like, the floor and his room because I was so scared of being. I have a photo of me in my tent. I had a disposable camera. I took a photo of myself. And I took the photo because I was like, this is gonna be the last photo of me alive. Because there'd be people with machetes fucking patrolling the lands that we were illegally staying on.
Eddie
Yeah, actually, they were probably watching over you. That's what they were really doing.
Daniel Tosh
Yeah, I know. They were really sweet. The people in Costa Rica are so sweet. Sweet. Although that one guy, remember, he stole my sunglasses. And you busted him because he said the word Rosa and I had.
Eddie
He said ro.
Daniel Tosh
Redo red. He said ro. And you just grab that kid and go. He didn't tell you what color they were. And Darren solved the mystery.
Eddie
We had to go to the bar to find him. Remember, he broke in our car.
Daniel Tosh
By the way, they would make me, because I was a child, get out and wade through rivers that we were going to drive through. Wait for it. Hold on. There's tons of crocodiles everywhere. Crocodiles. Not fucking Florida alligators that are pussies. Crocodiles that will just hunt you. They'd make me wade through to make sure that the truck, it wouldn't get too deep and the truck could get through. And then when we would inevitably get stuck, you'd have to pay some local farmer to get his ox to drag us out for like 10 stickers and a T shirt. This is what. This was my childhood. I always loved that while I didn't make it in surfing, I excelled in dick jokes. But I ended up in a neighborhood in Los Angeles where Kelly Slater and Stephanie Gilmore, the greatest male and female server, both had a place. And I'm like, if this is their backyard, I did something right.
Eddie
Yeah.
Daniel Tosh
That's crazy, because everything in my comedy career was still kind of geared towards surfing. People are like, when you're a comic, you can move to New York or la. And some people think New York was a little more pure for straight up standup because I didn't care about acting, but I'm like, I want to be on the beach.
Eddie
Yeah.
Daniel Tosh
And I know you can surf in New York, but let's be honest, those fucking surfers are weird.
Eddie
Yeah. I don't want to surf that.
Daniel Tosh
And when I first moved out here and I was struggling, you. You came out and visited me and I. I brought you to Leo Carrillo for the first time.
Eddie
Oh, that was so fun.
Daniel Tosh
I'm like, look at this right point.
Eddie
It's the best wave ever. I still think about that trip. That was so fun. That again, my first, like, point break.
Daniel Tosh
I mean, it's not even really a point break. It's really just a reef break that breaks completely like a wave pool, but it just.
Eddie
Yeah, it peels off perfectly. No, the kelp. I remember the kelp was perplexing. I was like, well, that's at low tide.
Daniel Tosh
At high tide, the kelp disappears. I didn't know. I didn't know the areas very well back then. I still take. I take Pierre to Leo every now and then when I know that we can, you know, do a little strike mission with nobody on it. That's the worst part about surfing. Let's be clear, surfers, you've kind of always agreed with me that I'm like, I've always distanced myself from the surfers. Yes, they're just a weird, bizarre group of folks.
Eddie
Agreed.
Daniel Tosh
There's such a stereotype around. You were famously in our circle of surfers in central Florida, attacked by a great white shark. Now, it wasn't a great white. What bit you?
Eddie
I would say it was a black tip, from what I could see.
Daniel Tosh
Black tip. You were attack. What year was this?
Eddie
91. The Halloween swell.
Daniel Tosh
You remember it, Eddie?
Eddie
Who doesn't remember The Halloween swirl?
Daniel Tosh
91 in Central Florida. How many people were on the water?
Eddie
Zero people. I was all alone.
Daniel Tosh
Relive that moment.
Eddie
It was before 7am it was going off perfect, and I paddled out all by myself. It was a north swell, so the lefts were marching down. So I was paddling upstream to try to. I saw one coming. I think the shark was kind of following me. As soon as I turned to catch it, it. It grabbed my hand. I didn't really know what it was, but you feel the pressure and you think, okay, if I get my hand out of whatever this is, there's going to be some damage.
Daniel Tosh
So you didn't. So you didn't yank it?
Eddie
No, it felt like I put my hand in a. And you start to pull back and there's weight on there. And then he just opened his mouth and let it go. Right. So I looked at my hand. I could see the gaps in the back of my hand like blood and on the bottom here. And I Just grabbed my wrist and still the wave is there. So I still frogged in and poked and caught the wave.
Daniel Tosh
You didn't stand up?
Eddie
No, I bellied to the beach.
Daniel Tosh
Oh, you pussy.
Eddie
It looked like I had a broken wrist because the tendons were severed. So my wrist was just hanging like this.
Daniel Tosh
In hindsight, should have you rode that wave?
Eddie
No, I was freaking out, man. I was like, no, I know.
Daniel Tosh
Listen, this made news. This was in the paper.
Eddie
It was the first one or two days of the swell. And all I thought about was like, I'm done. I don't get to surf the rest of the whole swell.
Daniel Tosh
Did you ever think you were gonna bleed out on the beach and die?
Eddie
No.
Daniel Tosh
Did you do a tourniquet?
Eddie
No.
Daniel Tosh
Did you call the ambulance?
Eddie
Nope.
Daniel Tosh
You drove to my mom's hospital?
Eddie
Yeah. I was paddling to catch the wave and Thaddeus and Crane Dog came up on top of the boardwalk and they were watching me.
Daniel Tosh
Does everyone have stupid names? Green Dog.
Eddie
And they saw me getting bit and they said it looked like I was doing disco moves, like I'm palling for a wave. And all of a sudden I'm going like, wait, wait.
Daniel Tosh
Did they drive you to the hospital?
Eddie
Yeah.
Daniel Tosh
Okay, so you were driven to the hospital and were you going, this is bad because that's a long drive, that's 20 minutes minimum to the hospital?
Eddie
Oh, we went. It was again, there was no traffic. Then we were there in like 15, like five, 10 minutes because we went.
Daniel Tosh
You weren't there in five minutes.
Eddie
We went 100 miles an hour all the way back. So I rolled up. You have, you have control points for bleeding under your armpits.
Daniel Tosh
Okay, you roll up. How do you know this?
Eddie
Because I took first aid.
Daniel Tosh
Jesus. Okay, so what do you do?
Eddie
I took a pair of trunks, baggies, rolled them up, you put it on your arm. You just let your natural arm pressure hold it and it controls the whole arm. So, yeah, I wrapped a white towel around my hand. When I got to the hospital, there was no blood on the towel. Completely under control, bleeding.
Daniel Tosh
So this was your right hand. And as you know, he is right handed. He is a natural foot surfer.
Eddie
Big problem.
Daniel Tosh
This is a big problem for a shaper. Everybody in the world that was in the queue for new boards was like, fuck, we're gonna get these wacky shaped left handed boards. I did for the next six months. We all fucking talked about it and we all hated it.
Eddie
But it felt normal, I swear.
Daniel Tosh
Yeah, I'm sure it felt normal to you. You still wanted your Money. But we were getting these fucking janky boards.
Eddie
It's in my mind, I see it and I don't. You know, I just have to carve it out left and right handed.
Daniel Tosh
Doesn't matter one thing in surfing in Florida. There's currents in Florida and sometimes the waves can be good. But since it's a straight line, the whole coast, you just drift. You would have one car drive us 10 miles up the beach and we'd start surfing. And then the other car would like be in a different city. And you're like, oh, we're gonna start at second light. And you pick me up at Spanish House.
Eddie
Drift all the way down.
Daniel Tosh
Rc. Ever surf rc? No, that place, I had one of my worst surfing accidents. I split my head open.
Eddie
Oh, man.
Daniel Tosh
I remember just. Just pouring bloodheads bleed. So it's. It wasn't. It had hair that was over like the rock had just chopped hair off.
Eddie
Wow.
Daniel Tosh
So I had this big huge gash. I got to shore, it was rough. Got to shore, just pouring. Hotel guest flocking to me. Then a hotel employee, and I just can remember the hotel employee saying, don't use the towels. And I'm like, motherfucker, it's a Ramada. You're a fucking $4 an hour employee and you care about the towels. Anyway, my sister lived down in Indianic at the time. And I remember going to her house afterwards and she didn't take me to the hospital. She says, I can tape it up. And she's like, you just take a nap, right? So I just went to sleep on her floor for three hours. Concussed.
Eddie
Yeah, that's not how you do it.
Daniel Tosh
Yeah, well, we didn't know about putting towels under our armpits and pinching the nerves. First aid class, okay. As a child, you know, you'd spend all day at the beach, just sun up to sundown. And one of the old man locals that we used to all hang out with and he would cook for all of us is Rat Dog. Yeah, Rat. Now, whatever happened to Rat Dog?
Eddie
George lives in Eleuthera, Bahamas.
Daniel Tosh
Okay, so he's not dead. Nope, he was. And I can overspeak. I was a child at the time that I knew him. He was an alcoholic.
Eddie
Oh, yeah.
Daniel Tosh
Just sloshed beyond belief every day of his life. And yet he would cook a grill in the parking lot for. And you have to understand, where we served at Play Linda, there was no stores, there's no nothing out there. It's all, you know, NASA national park, et cetera. So he would Just grill food for all the kids and we would just get to eat and he was just the sweetest man. And then he would surf a little bit, but usually he was too drunk to paddle out. Yeah, but he lives in the Bahamas. And he's not dead?
Eddie
Nope. No.
Daniel Tosh
Is he still drinking?
Eddie
No. I heard he's not drinking anymore. But he is like addicted to the energy drinks and he complains that it makes his stomach hurt.
Daniel Tosh
How old is he?
Eddie
Oh my God. He's probably, he's probably 70 something. I'm sure he's in his 70s.
Daniel Tosh
Well, Rat Dog, I'm sure you're a listener. I had fond memories of you, of being a sweet person.
Eddie
I actually took him to Puerto Rico one time and he was drunk the whole time and it was pretty fun. Like it was a good trip just cause he was, you know how he is.
Daniel Tosh
I took you later in life when I was an adult to Puerto Rico once to do. I did a corporate show for Viacom that went horribly wrong. But we tried to surf, but the waves were garbage for most of the trip.
Eddie
I remember that cause you got the lady's name wrong, remember?
Daniel Tosh
Yes, I do.
Eddie
And then we were in the hallway and she came up to you and she's like, like oh. She said something like oh, you're fired or something. And I laughed and no one else laughed because they were afraid to laugh because she was like their boss.
Daniel Tosh
She was the head of IACOM at the time.
Eddie
And I'm the only one laughing like hahaha.
Daniel Tosh
You're like oh, what is wrong with the world of surfing? How long do I have?
Eddie
Oh my gosh. Yeah, it's crazy. It's. The pro tour is just like, I can't watch it.
Daniel Tosh
Pro surfing is obnoxious.
Eddie
I can't watch it.
Daniel Tosh
I don't watch it either.
Eddie
It's terrible.
Daniel Tosh
I've never cared about it. I cared about it as a kid, but no, as an adult, it's just complete garbage.
Eddie
I just watched it a little bit because like the championship and I mean I used to judge contests so I know how to score the guys. And immediately the first ride, they underscored him and I'm just like, ah. Like you know, I can't handle it.
Daniel Tosh
So the one thing that's amazing about surfing today versus in the 90s, early 90s, 80s is now people just ride crazy boards. Meaning you used to have to only ride a pro surfboard.
Eddie
Sure, you had to conform and if.
Daniel Tosh
You weren't good, a pro surfboard is close to impossible to ride. But now there's just fishes and everybody rides. Just all kinds of length and volume is so much different.
Eddie
I think it's great. Yeah, everybody can ride everything.
Daniel Tosh
By the way, you guys might not know this about Darren. You see him sitting here with the shirt on and you think oh he's just being silly. But that might be our biggest fan. Every single week after an episode airs, not like days later, it drops at 6:30 West Coast. I get a text at 7:30 and Darren either mocking something that we said or blah blah blah. You really have.
Eddie
I love that. That's my favorite thing to do. It's like I'm there. It's like a conversation that I'm part of.
Daniel Tosh
Oh no, this is is signs of depression. Darren. I'm just not in your life. Every week. This episode of Tosh show is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. You chose to hit play on this podcast today. Smart choice. Make another smart choice with Auto Quote Explorer to compare rates from multiple car insurance companies all at once. Try it@progressive.com Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliate. Not available in all states or situations. Prices vary based on how you buy. The other day we were out of something at the house and one of the kids was melting down because of it. Or maybe it was my father in law. Hard to tell the difference. You're probably thinking just go to the store and replace it. Well, it's football season, so if you think I am going to the store to restock anything, it sure won't be on a Saturday or Sunday, not a Monday or Friday. Thursday. Actually. Sometimes games start on Wednesday, which leaves Tuesday. But that's the day I deliver my podcast fans the content that they crave. So what did I do? I opened Instacart's easy to use app. After a few taps, my order was placed and in as little as 30 minutes my delivery ended the meltdown so I could continue yelling at the TV the entire game. I'm a fan. Instacart brings convenience, quality and ease right to your door so you can focus on what matters most, which this time of year might be watching the game and letting Instacart restock whatever it is that my kids are hollering about. Nothing could be more convenient. Download the Instacart app and use code TOSHOW20 to get $20 off your first order of $80 or more. That's code TOSHOW20 to get twenty dollars off your first order of eighty dollars or more. Offer valid for a limited time. Excludes restaurants. Additional terms apply. Hey, it's Ryan Reynolds here for Mint Mobile. Now, I was looking for fun ways to tell you that Mint's offer of unlimited Premium Wireless for $15 a month is back. So I thought it would be fun if we made $15 bills, but it turns out that's very illegal. So there goes my big idea for the commercial. Give it a try@mintmobile.com Switch upfront payment.
Eddie
Of 45 for 3 month plan equivalent to 15 per month required new customer offer for first 3 months only. Speed slow. After 35gb of networks busy. Taxes and fees extra. See mint mobile.com.
Daniel Tosh
You'Re the first guest we've ever had on this show that Pete reaches out to. And then there's. You start saying, this is what I want for my gift.
Eddie
I like it.
Daniel Tosh
He already. He already like, knows, knows the routine. Now everybody on the show gets a gift. As you know, it's just stuff around the house.
Eddie
This.
Daniel Tosh
This is a hat for my birthday party.
Eddie
Oh, perfect.
Daniel Tosh
Tosh point 50.
Eddie
Look at that. You're gonna like that. You're gonna love that hat.
Daniel Tosh
And here's another hat that I don't wear. I thought you'd like this one.
Eddie
Yes, sir. Millennium Surfboard Foam.
Daniel Tosh
No, he gave me that hat. Let me have that hat back. He gave me this hat. He goes, this is the company that he works for. Now the foam for the surfboards. Yeah, yeah. You wear this hat all the time.
Eddie
The auto. Yeah, those are good ones.
Daniel Tosh
Now this next gift that I'm gonna give you, you might be insulted.
Eddie
Sure.
Daniel Tosh
Because you're an artist. Forget the fact that you actually paint and design boards, but your original logo that you had for DC boards. I was always like, it's okay.
Eddie
Yeah.
Daniel Tosh
Then one time I was gonna put a different logo on, and you made me a board and you didn't put a logo, your logo on at all. I'm like, oh, no. I insulted him and he didn't put a logo on. But some people, some surfers, like, hey, I don't want a logo. Because I surf at a break where they. They vibe out somebody that's not riding a board from this specific area, which I think is fucking stupid.
Eddie
Yeah.
Daniel Tosh
I love that when I surf these waves here in Malibu, it's like, I'm on all Florida boards.
Eddie
Wow.
Daniel Tosh
They're like, yeah, yeah, whatever. I'm the king of gutless surf. Let's have a board that can go quick through this stuff. That's not the point. Then you switched your logo and I didn't. The new logo. I'm like, oh, I Don't love it. I love it less. I liked the old logo.
Eddie
The first one was really big. Right.
Daniel Tosh
Well, whatever. Now the one looks like fucking Batman.
Eddie
You're right, it does.
Daniel Tosh
Okay, So I didn't. I didn't love it. So I asked the guys and I go, hey, I want you guys to. Let's create a new logo for Darren.
Eddie
Cool.
Daniel Tosh
And give it to him as a gift.
Eddie
Nice.
Daniel Tosh
And if he likes it, great. And if he's insulted, like, because you being a shaper is much like me being a comedian in that I couldn't listen to anybody tell me what to do. So, like I said, found a job where I could just do whatever the fuck I wanted.
Eddie
Right.
Daniel Tosh
And. And I think that's very true for you. Sure. You're heavily opinionated. Usually your opinions are wrong.
Eddie
Exactly.
Daniel Tosh
We're basically. We're basically the same person anyway, so the guys, we all came up with some logos. I'm gonna show them to you.
Eddie
I can't wait. I'm excited.
Daniel Tosh
Okay. The first one, it's not my favorite. This looks too much like the DC Shoe logo to me.
Eddie
Yep, it does.
Daniel Tosh
And so I don't. I don't like it. But anyway, I'm giving them. You're going to keep all these anyway.
Eddie
Okay.
Daniel Tosh
Hey, this one I just flat out fucking hate. I don't know which one of the guys came up with that one.
Eddie
Wow.
Daniel Tosh
But I fucking hate it.
Eddie
Yeah.
Daniel Tosh
That is ugly. That is. You should be fucking beat up.
Eddie
Without the wave, it would be. Okay.
Daniel Tosh
So those are the two logo. Did you hate both those logos?
Eddie
Yeah.
Daniel Tosh
You notice that Darren has taken everything off the desk immediately.
Eddie
He knows.
Daniel Tosh
He refuses to let me do my bit. Okay. This one's not bad, but I think it's more of a T shirt, not a logo on a board that looks like a.
Eddie
Like a air conditioning company logo. Okay.
Daniel Tosh
Well, you gotta take. Take away the blue, but I. I mean, overall, it's.
Eddie
It's.
Daniel Tosh
It's. It's got some stuff that I don't hate. Okay.
Eddie
Yeah. It's got all the aspects of palm tree. The way.
Daniel Tosh
Here's the. This is the winner, though. This is the one I like.
Eddie
Whoa. That's pretty cool.
Daniel Tosh
I like it.
Eddie
Yeah, like that.
Daniel Tosh
That's D.C. the good.
Eddie
It's good.
Daniel Tosh
Who did this one, Ed?
Eddie
That's John. Who, me?
Daniel Tosh
John. Yes, John. You're the winner on that one.
Eddie
Yeah, that looks good.
Daniel Tosh
But this, this. Whatever. Whatever we have to do.
Eddie
That's. Yeah, that. The whole reason when I drew my new one is I wanted it to be symmetrical. Because when you put it on the board, it's nice if it's okay. Symmetrical.
Daniel Tosh
It looks like my kid drew it.
Eddie
Yeah, well, I did. So explains it.
Daniel Tosh
Hold on.
Eddie
Oh, yes. No way.
Daniel Tosh
No way.
Eddie
I love. I need this. I totally need this. Did you pour the concrete yourself?
Daniel Tosh
Yes, I poured the concrete myself. He's a handyman. These are. This is basically what surfboards, what shapers make the boards are and fix things on. But I gotta put some cloth in there. But yeah, I poured the concrete myself. And then I'm like, what am I doing? I don't want this in my house. These. I've had. I've had these for years.
Eddie
Yeah. Yeah.
Daniel Tosh
I go, I. I'm not doing my own ding repair. I make you do it. And I'm like, I. I don't need these. I'm gonna get these out of here. So then I'm like, I'm like, well, he's never gonna take these back to Florida.
Eddie
Yeah.
Daniel Tosh
I'm like, well, whatever. He'll have his. He'll have them permanently here for his little west coast bay custom racks.
Eddie
Here.
Daniel Tosh
Get those off my desk.
Eddie
That is perfect.
Daniel Tosh
Don't drag them. Don't go up high.
Eddie
Oh, my gosh.
Daniel Tosh
Did I pour too much concrete? Don't break your knees either. That's a perfect spot.
Eddie
Cramps in my legs.
Daniel Tosh
Don't drag it. Jesus.
Eddie
Close.
Daniel Tosh
Oh. Oh. Look what you just did. That's big Darren. Luckily, he can buff. No, that's not coming out. Permanently left scratch. You did it on purpose.
Eddie
Oh, no.
Daniel Tosh
That is not buffing out. Have him sand it out. Darren's staying here with me. He's staying in the Airstream. Guys, he says Scott did great work, but I'm bringing Scott back. Guess what he's going to build for me now. Pig house. Pig house. Making sure the pig sleeps outside. So we're going to build him a proper house in his pen. We're not even done with the gifts.
Eddie
Oh, my God.
Daniel Tosh
Oh, the final gift. Here you go.
Eddie
Wow.
Daniel Tosh
Okay.
Eddie
Oh, my God.
Daniel Tosh
This. Now let me tell you something.
Eddie
No way.
Daniel Tosh
Let me tell you about this one wheel. It's got a nice handle. You hold that to carry it. This is a one wheel. You know, people ride this thing goes 25 miles an hour. Something obnoxious.
Eddie
Are you kidding?
Daniel Tosh
Yeah. Yeah. They self balance. But the reason I have this is I went at a weird time last minute. The Palm Springs Surf Club invited me to their wave pool and we went there and surfed, but there was no one there. The park was closed. Everything was closed. But they were shooting a One Wheel commercial there was right before we got there.
Eddie
Yeah.
Daniel Tosh
And apparently the guys stuck around.
Eddie
Yeah.
Daniel Tosh
And. And they watched me surf. Me and a couple of my buddies surf. And then they wrote me this real thoughtful thing like, hey, we saw you. You know, whatever. I'm not gonna toot my own horn. They go, we sent you a one Wheel. Okay, that's nice. Except for the fact that I don't like scares me.
Eddie
Yeah.
Daniel Tosh
So anyway, I get out of the box, my son freaks out. He's like, oh look. He's like, dad, take me on it. So my very first ride on it, I lift my son up and am riding him around on it. And guess what? I'm competent. We're going around. And then I try to get off and there's like, you have to like move your foot off the sensory pad. But anyway, I zipped my son and I both concussed in my driveway and the wheel spinning. I didn't have socks on, just burned my ankle. And I'm just like, I'm in pain and we're both lying bleeding in my driveway and I go, I go, I'm an idiot. I'm the worst dad in the world. Why did I. What was I thinking anyway? So I was like, that was my last run, but I figured you'll love it.
Eddie
Yeah, I'll probably have the same result.
Daniel Tosh
No, no, no. You're not picking up your 21 year old daughter and riding her around on this.
Eddie
This thing is so heavy.
Daniel Tosh
Besides not getting vaccines and surfing, what else is there to do in Florida?
Eddie
I don't know. Not much really.
Daniel Tosh
You still love your state of Florida?
Eddie
Yeah, it's. It's fine. It's okay.
Daniel Tosh
Would you consider yourself Florida man?
Eddie
I guess, probably sometimes. I'm sure.
Daniel Tosh
Were you ever a redneck? I didn't know. You didn't. You weren't like always wanting to go fish? Constantly.
Eddie
I mean, I did hang out with a lot of them.
Daniel Tosh
Of course you, we all did.
Eddie
Because that's all. There was maga country down there.
Daniel Tosh
How did you stay so open minded in a. Just in a town of nothing but ultra Maga monsters?
Eddie
I think about that. I know how from a young kid. I just. How?
Daniel Tosh
I mean, if I'm being honest.
Eddie
Yeah.
Daniel Tosh
Your mom. Okay, your mom just. Your mom's has that open mindedness.
Eddie
That's right. That is probably. That's kind of, I think where I was going when I was a kid there was that kind of like my parents weren't that oppressively kind of thing. And there was like, oh, okay, you can do what you want, and it's okay, and.
Daniel Tosh
But now you're. Do you. Do you notice a shift in that world down there in Titusville where it's.
Eddie
Like, yeah, it's pretty bad, right? Yeah, it's terrible.
Daniel Tosh
How can people actually order a DC Surfboard? Is there a way?
Eddie
Not really.
Daniel Tosh
There's not.
Eddie
No, there's not.
Daniel Tosh
You have to know you. You have to find you pretty much. You have to find you in person. And then you'll be like, yeah, okay, I'll get you aboard.
Eddie
Yeah, that's a problem.
Daniel Tosh
Should we create a website for you? You don't want that. Just a contact page.
Eddie
I've thought about it, but I don't really think I want it. I don't know.
Daniel Tosh
I'm just. I'm just giving you a platform now to, like, potentially get some business. Anybody in Florida should head on over to Titusville and I guess just go to your house. Let's go ahead and give out your address. You're on Coquina still.
Eddie
No, I'm not there anymore.
Daniel Tosh
No longer. Was that one of your streets?
Eddie
That was my street. Yeah. I used to live in.
Daniel Tosh
What was it called?
Eddie
Coquina.
Daniel Tosh
It was. I knew where he lived.
Eddie
Exactly.
Daniel Tosh
I knew right where he lived. I mean, you guys say, well, that's. That's not impressive, but I mean that you're talking. No, he remembers 30 years ago.
Eddie
Yeah, you remember a lot.
Daniel Tosh
Okay. Thanks for being here, Darren.
Eddie
Yes, sir. Thank you very much.
Daniel Tosh
Paw show. Well, I want to thank Darren for being on the show. He's still on the show. He's just not on the camera anymore. Just right over there. Right next to me. Yeah, yeah. He'll be at my house for a few days. Love it. How come you don't. You don't like Darren very much, do you? You growl at him constantly. You gonna bite him? He's already been bit by a shark. You can take a chunk out of his other hand. He's already done the ding repair. I don't care if he can't paddle. Hey, you're on my shit list. Anyway. Carl, for the most part, has a. Just a strong, rock solid stomach. You know, he cleans up after my children every day, so I know he's eating scraps that he shouldn't be eating, but. But he's. He's regular nice, solid bms. But the other night, in the middle of the night, he started to reg. You know that and. And I know that. I've got three to four seconds and I jump out of bed. I can wake up immediately. I usher him either outside or into the bathroom where there's tile. Cause I have a nice white rug under my bed. And I get it. He's like, oh, false alarm. I'm like, okay, can I go back to bed? I already get up four times a night to pee. And then what? Inevitably, if the kid needs something or somebody has a bad dream. Okay, so back down. I jump out of bed again 30 minutes later, put him outside this time. But he whines. He wants to get back into a spot where he sleeps Carl up. You don't want to hear this. Finally gets back in his spot. He settles and what is it? Pow. Floods. Vomits everything from his innards out onto a beautiful, beautiful white rug. Now it's a big white rug. I, I'd say it's 15 by 20. Maybe. That's the dimensions. It's big. Yeah. Is it six figures? No. Is it mid? Mid five figures? Yes.
Eddie
Oh, wow.
Daniel Tosh
It's a, it's a real rug. Okay, I, I'm sorry. That's a nice floor. It's a nice rug. Whatever. Pukes all over it. It's so bad. It's 4, 10 in the morning when this happens. And you have to be patient to clean that out of rug. You can't just go quickly. So Carly has to get up. This is when Carly, I fucking don't want a dog, like, rears its ugly head and I'm shoveling it into a trash can lightly with a kid's toy shovel from the shower that they used to play with. So I'm shoveling the vomit into a thing. And then she begins the process of spraying light damp. Spray light damp. Like, doesn't use any water, no blotting yet to get it to perfect. It's almost like making a surfboard or doing ding repair where, like, I just want to take a power sander and go and, you know, problem fixed. Where you, it needs to take time. You have to take layers off slowly and well, whatever. We're up for an hour throwing away, you know, rags, and she's getting it clean. Carl's outside the whole time.
Eddie
Yeah.
Daniel Tosh
Get it clean. Sun's starting to come up. It's 5:15, 5:30 now. I go out on the deck, I find four or five more spots of throw up. Fucking Carl just happy as can be wanting to play. I'm just like, motherfucker. He's ruined my whole night. Just exhausted. What'd you eat? What, what caused you to puke that night. Huh? Nothing. You don't remember what it was? Well, that was my night. It was a lot. We got some plugs, Eddie and I doing stand up. Check out his tour. Check out my tour. San Francisco, Monterey, Santa Cruz. Hey, I got another show going on sale, don't I? Oh, yes. Thunder Valley Casino. Carl, we've never been outside of Sacramento. We'll go up to Tahoe, we'll head over there to Thunder Valley Casino Resort. You think they got a spa? You know they do. It's in Lincoln, California. You ever heard of Lincoln, California? Have not. Me neither. Can't wait to be there. You're gonna be there with me, Eddie. I'm looking forward to it. So that's a plug for Thunder Valley Casino Resort. Is my house sold in Tahoe yet? Who knows? Check it out. Buy it. That'll be cool. Let's get to the part of the show we need to name this segment. I know originally I was like, become a member of my family to date my wife's cousin Amanda, who we call Panda, who my kids call Paul, which is always confusing when people hear kids yelling paw.
Eddie
Paw.
Daniel Tosh
People think that there's, like an old man. I mean, no, no, it's this lesbian over here. No, it's her.
Eddie
Hey, y'. All.
Daniel Tosh
Let's hear the first one. Here you go. Hey. Yeah, this is Ruben from SoCal. I'm an escape artist. Okay. No, please. He's an escape artist. That's his job. He's an escape. Is it occupation? First of all, he called it SoCal. That right there's a deal breaker.
Eddie
Yeah.
Daniel Tosh
No chance. He's not. I don't want him to be my family. Although that is funny to have an escape artist.
Eddie
Yeah.
Daniel Tosh
As a family member that in. I don't. But I didn't like. Why do people sound so old on the phone? No one's leaving voice messages that make me think, oh, that. That guy's young and young and fun.
Eddie
Yeah.
Daniel Tosh
Okay, let's hear the next one. Hey, Amanda. My name is Colby. Like the cheese. 5 foot 10, 200 pounds. I grew up in a small town in Idaho. My aunt and uncle had about 25 head of Arabian horses. So I grew up around those things and all their shit. I am a heavy equipment construction contractor. Okay. I have traveled the world. In fact, I once rode horses on the Inca trails in the Andes mountains in Peru. How old is this motherfucker? 47 years old. And I didn't vote. Ah. What was his name? Colby. Colby, like the cheese.
Eddie
Like the Cheese.
Daniel Tosh
Oh, I came around on Colby ticking.
Eddie
A lot of boxes.
Daniel Tosh
He's kind of funny.
Eddie
Well, he called back.
Daniel Tosh
We got another message. Another message from Colby. Like the cheese. Let's hear it. Hey, Amanda, this is Colby, like the cheese from yesterday. I realized that Daniel said something about making babies, and at 47, I think my baby making days are behind me. But don't give up. There's still somebody out there for you. Colby called back a day later to break up with her, but he did it like a gentleman. He did, which makes me think he would be good. And what does he mean 47 is too old for children? I had a child at 48.
Eddie
There you go.
Daniel Tosh
I mean, you can do it, Colby. Al Pacino had a child, like, a week ago. He's 90. Well, no, Colby, like the cheese. Please throw your hat back into the ring, Right? Is that what you're supposed to say, throw your hat into the ring?
Eddie
Yeah, it makes sense.
Daniel Tosh
What's the expression?
Eddie
Yeah, throw your hat in the ring.
Daniel Tosh
Throw your hat in the ring. Okay. I was making sure I was. That that was the right way to say that you'll be stuck with escape artists if you don't come back. Colby, do you think. What if he says that every time he says his name? Like the cheese.
Eddie
I bet he does.
Daniel Tosh
I like it. Colby, like the cheese. Do you like Colby cheese? I actually don't care about it. I don't really care. I'm never picking Colby. Is that ever an option when it's like when you're just doing, like, a sandwich choice feels like it's shredded up into other things? Filler. Yeah. Well, good luck to Colby. I mean, he seems like he's got life figured out. Amanda, on the other hand, we got some work to do. See you next week.
Date: September 30, 2025
Host: Daniel Tosh
Guest: Darin "DC" Craig
In this nostalgia-laden and candid episode of Tosh Show, Daniel Tosh welcomes his oldest friend, surfboard shaper Darin "DC" Craig from Titusville, Florida. The conversation is a mix of hilarious reminiscence, surf culture deep-dives, heartfelt gratitude, and Tosh’s signature irreverence. Together, they reflect on their Florida youth, the surf scene, the intricacies of shaping boards, getting bitten by sharks, and the joys (and neuroses) of being lifelong friends. The show weaves in classic Tosh snark, honest storytelling, and a window into the unique relationship between two people shaped—literally and figuratively—by the surf.
The episode champions Daniel Tosh’s trademark sarcasm, boundary-pushing humor, and self-deprecation. DC’s laconic, grounded style complements Daniel’s manic wit. Their banter brims with inside jokes, gentle ribbing, and a mutual fondness forged in the Florida surf scene. The show is peppered with candid admissions, gags about surf localism, and classic Tosh rants (from YouTube TV’s time bar flaw to Florida’s small town politics).
If you haven’t heard this episode, expect:
Daniel Tosh credits much of his identity—on and off the surfboard—to Darin. Their rapport embodies mentorship, friendship, and a love for the tradition and weirdness of surf culture. Whether you’re in it for the laughs, the surf history, or the priceless stories of misadventure, this episode delivers.
For more episodes of Tosh Show or to follow Daniel Tosh’s and Darin Craig’s exploits, check your podcast app and keep your surfboards waxed—just don’t ask how the waves are.