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Speed slower. 35 gigabytes of network spizzy. Taxes and fees extra. See mint mobile.com the best new Christmas movie that came out this year was not a Hallmark Christmas movie. Posh show. Posh show. Toss show for show. Welcome to Toss show and Merry Christmas. I turned off a movie the other day that I put on for my children. It was called Santa Pause on Disney. Rated G. Anyway, I turned it off almost a few minutes. It was just depressing. Always with the orphanage, Disney and dead parents. It's just so annoying. Anyway, this was like a dog movie. I thought, oh, this would be a dog movie. Just watch this for five seconds while I'm getting breakfast or something ready. I don't know what I was doing. Or maybe I was getting dinner ready. My wife was out. You know, she always said, oh, I go out one time with the girls every like three months. I'm like, it feels like weekly. Anyway, I'm doing a lot here. It doesn't matter. Let her have it. Let her keep saying it's just once every three months. You know, it's wearing on the kids anyway, so I'm like, here, they'll watch anything. Yeah, doesn't matter what I put on. They'll watch it and they won't tell me if it's inappropriate. So I'm just listening. Anyway, here's what I want to point out. Why I turned this a G movie and it didn't come out in 1991. This is like a 2011 movie. I believe you could look it up. You'd see if I'm right. Immediately, something hit Me. Where? Santa Claus. Somebody said happy Holidays to Santa Claus when he was in New York City. He's walking around and he went, merry Christmas. Like. Like that they had. And I'm like, oh, like Santa Claus is that big of an asshole that. That he was offended. Like. Like he doesn't know the religious background of the person that just said Happy Holidays to them. That annoyed me. But then it was all the dead parents. This is not how I wanted to start the show, but now that I'm on it, I'm gonna tell you some stuff. But it is the way we're starting. What's that? But it is the way we're starting. It is. How you doing, Ed? I'm doing good. How are you? Good. You excited for Christmas? Of course. I love Christmas, man. You better or you'll burn in hell. You burn in hell. That's the rule. Mm. So I'm gonna give you a brief review of my Christmas Hallmark movies. You know, and I might accidentally spoiler some of these, but it doesn't matter. They're Hallmark movies. Guess what? They're gonna kiss at the end. You know, she's going to pick the small town over the big city. You get it? But anyway, these were a few that I saw this year. A Royal Montana Christmas. Enjoyable. Fine. Christmas above the Clouds. Fucking awful. Just horrible. Just a pile of shit. Couldn't stand. Same guy that's in the Three Wisest Men this year. That's a little franchise. They've had a little popular cast that has worked for the past few years. Okay. And there's their new one this year was great. But when he was also in this other one, above the Clouds, I was like, this is God awful. A Keller Christmas vacation. As a family. They were going on vacation. I think the dad has Parkinson's or something. They find out at the end. That was good. Okay. That was watchable. It was kind of cute. And then the Snow Must Go On. That was my sleeper. Now, a lot of times when they put a person of color in a lead, it's. It's not going to be their strongest movie or their strongest script, but I felt. I felt like the acting in the Snow Must Go on was solid and the movie was very watchable. Okay, now that's. That's six, five. I don't know what I said. Christmas movies on Hallmark that I watch. I hate what has gone on where everybody is trying to jump on the bandwagon of what Hallmark has created and doing their kind of cheesy Happy Christmas. I can't stand It. Like, I'll watch a Netflix one and they'll have big names in it. And I go, that's the. I don't want big names. I want these. These random people in it. And that's also what. I enjoy that. I just. I hate it. I hate when the other networks try to do it. All the streaming services, I don't watch them. They all suck. They're not Christmas, okay? They're just. That's just being greedy. I will say our buddy, Luke McFarlane, most beautiful man alive, great actor, wasn't in any Christmas Hallmark movies this year. Now, has he become too big? Is he too famous? Because he does, I quote, unquote, real stuff. Yes. I guess he's hosting some, you know, reality. I don't know what is. What's it called? Home is where the Heart Is. Home is where the heart. He's hosting something on Hallmark, but that doesn't cut it for me. I'm not watching that shit. I want to watch my Christmas movies. And I want my big gay Luke in the lead kissing a chick. That's what I want. I didn't get it this year. I didn't get it this year. But that's okay. Maybe Luke will go back. Don't. Luke. We miss you. I understand that your schedule's probably busy, but you and I both know it only takes four to five days to churn out one of these turds. That's right. One of these Christmas miracles. You can give up a week. I shouldn't. I shouldn't. I shouldn't have called it a turd. No, it's not a turd. You gotta call it a Christmas miracle. Okay, now let me get back to this about other streaming services trying to do their knockoff Hallmark Christmas movies. Because I didn't think it was gonna happen. But it did happen. The best new Christmas movie that came out this year was not a Hallmark Christmas movie. Oh, man. Now, normally I don't even watch these other things. I immediately turn it off. But for some reason, I put this on, thinking that my sleepy wife wouldn't care that it was on. She immediately perked up and we started watching it and we loved it. And it was really good the whole way through. And it's going to be my one Christmas movie recommendation for the year. Now, most people may have already seen it that care about these dumb things. It was a very Jonas Christmas movie. I know nothing about the Jonas Brothers. I barely know their work. I know that they're three brothers, okay? But this movie was funny. Will Ferrell is in it in the beginning. They're playing themselves. They're very self deprecating. The one brother that's kind of like doesn't seem like he should be in show business, let alone a rock star, is very aware of that. There's another Jonas brother that's actually in the movie at the end that's not in the group. Okay. You don't even know, but didn't even know that guy existed. What a weird life he has. I think he was an oops baby. But anyway, the movie's good. Good. There's music in it, of course. They're singing some originals. It's funny. It plays well. It's under an hour 20. It's everything that I liked. I was just happy with it the whole way. I recommend watching it. Put it on. Tell me I'm wrong. It's not. Now you say, well, your taste in shows is just awful. Listen, I'll punch anyone in the face that says Slow Horses isn't the best show. There you go. Okay, so there's my barometer. But I can appreciate some of this other stuff. The Jonas Christmas movie got it right the whole way through. Now, do I have one complaint? A small complaint? Sure you do. Okay, here it is. The travel agent that's filling in for their personal assistant during the movie is doing an impression, in my opinion, of the agent's assistant in in hacks. Okay. And I love her in Hacks. That assistant is just so funny. And I feel that. I feel like they wanted her and they couldn't get her. And they said, hey, you, whatever actor, just do an impression of that. Because it's a spot on impression of kind of that tone anyway. I think people should watch that. I mean, what do I get? Here's. This is the problem though. It's the Jonas Brothers. And I guess, I guess my wife, the whole time, she never listened to the Jonas Brothers. Now she's like in love with them. She's like. All of a sudden she's listening to their playlist. She's like, these guys are great. I like them. We're late to the game and then my wife looks up who created it and wrote the show. And it's the guys, the couple or whatever, the team that did this is Us. So it's like, you know, these aren't, I mean, the people that turn out Hallmark Christmas movies, you know, that's Joe Blow in Canada hammering away on his keyboard for eight minutes. Got it. Rips it out. This is us. That's big time stuff. Hey, you know What I want to say one more. This has nothing to do with Christmas movies. But my wife just. Sometimes I just love her. Not all the time, but sometimes. The other day we were gonna watch a new show. Somebody had recommended the show. All her fault. I look at what it's about and it's like a kid gets kidnapped and it's just drama, stress filled. I'm like, I don't want to watch a show about kids getting kidnapped before I go to bed every night. It's gonna stress me out. Ah, we watch it. She wants. She goes, oh. Some of my friends said it was good. We put it on. We're watching the first episode. I'm immediately getting infuriated by their instincts not calling 911 within 1 second of not your kid not being where they're supposed to be. Yeah, like just dumb mistake after dumb mistake. I'm like, you deserve to have your kid kidnapped. But I'm getting more and more infuriated. And then we get to the end of the first episode and I'm like, well, now I'm like hooked. I'm like, should we start an up another episode? Right? And my wife, this is, this is how great my wife is. With no hesitation, just goes, the babies were switched at birth. She went on her phone, she looked up what the end of the show was and she ruined it for me so that we wouldn't go through the rest of the fucking show. Wow. She goes, I didn't like the acting either. And I go, thank you. Thank you for doing that. Because I would have been like, are we just gonna plow through this shitty show? She's like, no. They got in a car accident when they left the hospital, the husband's douchebag. And he, he, their baby died. He took the other baby from the other accident when the woman was passed out. And he. And he, they raised that baby as their own. And then the mom kind of basically somehow found it and came back and. And re. Kidnapped her own child at 6 years old. The end. I was like, power move, power move by my wife to just spoil a show and make me go, well, that's good, let's go to bed. Exactly. She knew it would work, so we went to bed anyway. Spoiler alert. My time is valuable and so is my listeners. And I don't want them to make the same mistake. All right, It's Christmas time. And if you like to receive gifts, as much as I like to give things away, enjoy. One in five Americans have learn a new language on their bucket list. 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Please support our show and tell them the Tosh show sent you. Everybody that's on the show, tj, I give them a gift. I just unload stuff from my house. So let's see what I have for Santa. It's also very fun to give gifts to Santa. This is a beard trimmer with all the attachments. I've never used that. I don't have a beard. And then this is like a personal. I don't know if Santa grooms down below, but that's what it's meant for. It's meant for all kinds of cleanup. You can use it on any. It doesn't have to be the unmentionables. I'm gonna give you one of the gifts that I had just bought my wife that she hasn't even opened yet. Oh, right. That's super exciting. Oh, my. Aw. You know that brand, huh? Look at that. Oh, are you so excited. Wow. Go ahead, open that gift up. How do I see if you like this? Oh, that just scratched the shit out of. Oh, you. So how. How did a bag scratch the table? Oh, no, it doesn't matter. Oh, wow. No, I know. It's an actual bag. I know. Well, wait, you need. Here's my thing. You need a big tote for the new one, and nothing better than, like, a sexy, cute one. Are you being for real? Yeah. It's beautiful. I know. It is. My wife is gonna be fucking furious. Well, she'll be excited if you decide to go in the same direction for her. I don't know. I mean, I think she'll be like, wait, that was supposed to be for me, and now I gotta fucking look at Jocelyn with it. I always joked about doing this. I was like, you know what? I'm gonna do it. So what does it say? The prenup. The prenup. It's our prenup. Oh, wow. I did it on nice paper. Do you remember looking at that thing? Did you ever actually read our prenup? My attorney made me, like, read some of it, and she really thought I wasn't taking it seriously. You weren't? Yeah, I got away with murder in there. Get it off my desk. This is the bottle my wife was drinking two nights ago. She didn't finish it. I figured you could have the rest of it if you wanted. Thank you so much. That's how much she left after drinking. That's a very funny amount to leave. Agreed. Yeah. And I go, this is in the refrigerator. I'm like, what is it? It's an ounce and a half. Is that shit wine that she was drinking? Say it. I won't. It's shit, huh? I will not. But it is. I won't say that. Okay. Why won't you say that? I won't speak negatively about wine. Oh, they can't hear you. They can and will. The wine? No, the winemaker, the humans. I thought you didn't want to hurt the wine, human. Because you know it's at the end of its life when it's poured into a glass. Sure, sure, sure. I was going back to that and that. You were like, no, no, no, shh. Let them go out peacefully. Most of these frames still have like photos of my family in them. But you don't have to. You can keep those up if you'd like. Or there's my son when he was little. That's my wife and her mom. You'll love these. They were just in a drawer. That's my wife's wedding. Wait, are you serious? Yeah, she was. Well, I guess it's my wedding too, but I didn't really care. That's a special picture. Not if it was shoved in a drawer that never was gonna get touched. Here, you're gonna want these frames. We love them. These are very special. You can do stuff em with them. That's not one idea with them. Okay, this, this was like $300. Now my wife's cousin bought me this for Christmas this year. And I was so mad at him, I was like, why would I want this? And it's the same guy. He. Remember that time I had that little thing? Is this Fousey? No, it says Cool. Coolie. Oh, Coolio, Coolio. I don't know. Not the wrapper. Hold on, let me explain this to you. He first invented this chapstick holder cooler. And I thought, whatever, I use it, I like it fine. But now he invented this thing. This thing has like a battery charger for your phone speaker place. It has like a built in cooler. I go, you want me to walk around with a refrigerator on my back? I'm like, it's an appliance. This is an appliance. This backpack is 300 bucks. Never been used. Yeah, there's like, look, feel that. There's like a battery charger. If I was a big tailgater. And that's what I'm talking about the CART racing. But, but, but we don't do. No, we can. No, no, you're going to love it. No, because I can't. I can't have any alcohol, so I can't even have alcohol on the grid. John, this doesn't have to have alcohol. You can have sparkling water. Okay? You're going to. You're going to love it. Your son's going to love this. He's going to think it's neat. Where's your producer? Can I give it to your executive producer? No, no. This is a tax write off for me to give away. I'll get a re. Gift. You can't regift this. Now I can see a purpose for this. Good. John. Not for me. No. John, you're going to give this to your kid. I could think of. I can. You know, you're going to find a client that's going to need this. Look at that thing. Why would he think I want to walk around with a refrigerator on my back? I can tell you where this is perfect for you. No, no. When you go surfing and you're going to spend the day at the gift. Being rude right now. John, I got you this. Thank you. You're welcome. Thank you. That's. It's a really wonderful gift. That is one of the most interesting gifts I've ever received. A woman that we had on the show, she sent me this. She makes basically adult toys that are jewelry. It's like a ring, but it's fashionable. But you can wear it. But then it also will, you know, it'll also vibrate. Daniel's a cool, amazing. Thank you. I hope it's. Whoa, whoa. It fits this. I mean, when, you know, we make contact with aliens, this will be. If you have that, that might be the peace offering that saves our planet from destruction. Now this next gift, it's to give it to some of your horny fans. Okay. And legally, you probably can't do it, but I don't care, okay? Because I had a vasectomy. Oh, no. So my wife doesn't need any more birth control. So I just got all of her birth control. You just can give this to your fans. I think they would love that. Signed. I don't know if you're legally allowed to give Birth control away. But we give condoms away as gifts. Well, birth control's a little different, but. Okay. I just want. I just want. Great. And they could be expired. They're definitely expired. Okay, so not usable. No, I think. I think it's been proven that expired medicine still works. I agree with you. Okay, now get that off my desk, please. That's lovely. You're going to want to give that to me. Thank you so much. Never been given something so considerate before. Well, I just think you're making these kids all horned up. Yes. And especially in the world we live in now, where. You're gonna have to put that on the floor. I don't want that on the desk. You still want the dog? My dog can't get pregnant either. Okay, great. Oh, my God. Okay. Okay, okay. Hey. Hey, buddy. Hey. That's Panda. Panda, Amanda. Nice to meet you. How you doing? That's Adam. Okay. Get this pig off my desk. How you doing? You want to let it wake up. Something up your sleeve, right? Yeah. Okay. This. Where do you see this jacket? It's kind of like a Snuggie, but it's different. You're gonna love this. Here you go. There you go. Ooh. Put this on. Where do you see this jacket? The magic that you can do in this, I'm telling you, it's perfect for magic. It's got a nice boxy shape to it. Yeah. Yeah. You'll feel it flattering you. Kind of. To be honest with it, you look like somebody that would teach martial arts. You're gonna love this jacket. I am gonna love this jacket. Why? Your manager really hooks it up. Well, I hated it. Never once wore it. What? Okay, take that off. Excuse me. I'm still. It's too hot. It's too hot in here. You're gonna burn up. I used to do a show on Comedy Central, green screen, and. Oh, yeah, I remember. I would a lot of times shoot stuff at my house and. And I had my own green screen at home. And then this is some of my green screen. It's my version of the Green Monster, okay? So I just want you to have my green monster there. If you hold this up. Like, if I hold this up right now, they're gonna put a penis on it right next to my face. I know it. I know what they. I'm not gonna hold it up next to my. Hold it right next to your face. We'll put something nice. No, you don't have to do that. We'll get rid of those. You'll love those. You'll love those. I feel like I'm on the prices, right? More like let's make a deal where you win the offer, but. All right. We're gonna have to get those off the desk. I'm sorry. It's a lot, I know, but, you know, I'll give you a box. I can handle it. Your kids will love this. Send that home to them. Give that to your kids. I will, graciously. I'll take the one that you already snacked on, but you have to keep the rest of that. Okay. Please set that on the floor. I can't have it on my desk. Now, this is an inflatable outdoor movie theater. Oh, my gosh. This my. Is this used? Yeah, everything's used. It's stuff in my house that I don't want. It's been used One time. Eddie was with me the one time I used it. We watched in my backyard. Christmas vacation. Christmas vacation. We watched Christmas vacation. This is. Look, earbuds. You don't want that. There's some earbuds. Go ahead. Don't put that in your ear without cleaning it. All right, but you're gonna have to get all this. Get this off my desk. There's so much stuff, but there you go. Get that off my desk. You're gonna love that. Amazing. Oh, please, get those off the desk. I will. Okay. Come on. Throw them on the floor. Jesus. Here, take your table off my table. That was just. Are you OCD about this? No, it's just. This is heavy. No. And then there's immediate laughter from the back. So that's a yes. Fine. You're gonna have. All of this has to get off my desk. Okay. Okay. I cannot have. I'm gonna push off. I'm like. We'll clean this up later for you. Okay. Get that off my desk. Get that off the desk. You don't have to do it one at a time. Just take it one at a time. Get that on the floor. Please get this off my desk. Here, I'll push this down over there. Yeah, it's fine. Just shove it off. It'll be fine. Okay, but that. That needs to go, too. Well, don't shove it off. If you set that down as your gift. Yes. You're gonna. I'm gonna carry that home for you. I'm gonna need you to put that on the floor. I'm sorry. A massage table. Oh, perfect. Thank you. That's what I needed. Yeah. I figure if anybody deserves to be treated. Oh, yeah, by the way, Paul may be the first guest that I've ever had that I didn't have to say, get this off my desk. You're probably wondering, why am I giving you a printer? Oh, that's nice. Look at this thing. This printer is brand new. Never could get it to work. And then Pete tried to get it to work and he couldn't get to work. He goes, oh, I think the ink dried up. And I'm like, how's the ink gonna dry up just sitting in a house for three years, Whatever. And then he put change the ink cartridge and it would only print blue. And I'm like, I go, that can't be right. And he's like, no. He goes. And then he said something that I'm not going to repeat. But then it just. He says, it doesn't work anymore. I go, there's no way. A brand new printer that has sat in my house for three years only printed in blue ink for two weeks. So anyway, he's like, well, it doesn't work. I'm giving this to you. And then I want you to fix it and print something and then I will fire Pete. Thank you. Okay. Can I take it? Yeah, please take that off. Don't drag it. All right. Lift straight up. All right. Look at that. Show how strong you are. This is a heavy ass stand. Well, yeah. Yeah. Well, don't scratch my beautiful table. I just got this table. Fair enough. Yeah, put that on the floor. You can put that on the floor, please. You're going to want to put that on the floor. That'll scratch my desk all. Probably don't lean it against the wall either. You might need to lay that flat. That thing is huge. This is a monster. Got you my chainsaw. Oh, my God. This is awesome. All right, get that off my desk, please. Oh, my goodness. It actually scared me too. All right. Oh, my goodness. My poor desk. Get those off my desk. That is perfect. Don't drag them. Don't go up high. Oh, my gosh. Did I pour too much concrete? Don't break your knees either. That's a perfect spot. Don't drag it. Jesus. Close. Oh. Oh. Look what you just did. That's big, Darren. It goes away. Look at that. Luckily he can bust. No, that's not cool. Coming out. Permanently left scratch. You did it on purpose. Oh, no. That is not buffing out. Have him sand it out. That's. There's no way we can keep that in front of the camera. Hold on, guys, come over here. She's going to scratch the walls up. Luke's going to scratch the walls up. This is so you don't walk on people's deck. I. I don't know why I have these stilts. Okay, Here, take this. What is. Oh, no, no, that's not. That's not mine. It was left in my work site. You don't open it in here. It's nasty, man. It's nasty. He said, that is not mine. This is a toilet. Now, I could use one of these. This is for the truck. You give this to you. Now. This. This is so good. This is a good toilet, too. This one is, by the way. You hear it, right? This was at the house. Yeah, I travel with this, but it's. No, that's. It's never been pooped in. Oh, thank you. It has been peed in, yes, but it's been cleaned out. This is called a backcountry bathroom. This is for your outdoorsy people. They just hook it to a tree and then they can poop. Somebody gave this to me because I have ibs and I said, guys, I can't. I don't have time to hook shit around a tree to go to the bathroom when I have to go. It's like now, and I gotta run. It's a different kit for you. No, yours is just for me. It's just. I just put paper in the truck. Get all this off my desk. Good gosh, rj, I think we have a gift for you. Oh, no, that's. That is not necessary. Can you get that on the floor? Just throw that on the floor. Both of those is fine. Just drop them. You can just. Thank you so much. Here comes a live salmon. Sex. Don't do this. Give him the. Give him the rock. Oh, God damn it. You're giving me a rock? This is from the Ozarks. We got this this weekend. What? Oh, man. Let me see this. That's pretty sweet. That's actually beautiful. Okay. That's nice. Well, I can't wait to take that home. And so here is your very own page from an actual Barclay book in 2019, the year that I gave up. Thought you would appreciate that. Year loop two. Actually, this is probably my second favorite gift that I've ever received on this show. First was a hat that I liked that. What's his name? That's fair. But this. This right here. Good grief. You're just doing the same bit that I do. You're just fucking getting rid of your shit. I had to empty my closet. What do you go? That's a book. Oh, God damn it, Rick. Is that it? No, oh, good grief. Oh, come on, Rick. How much stuff do you have? Well, here's some more. This right here though. What is happening with it here, you put that over on that side just so that I don't accidentally take it. Are you done? I got. God damn it. I like that. Your bag is a Salvation Army. Yeah, that's where I went shopping. There's one more thing. You brought more things? Just one thing. You probably won't like it, but I talked to you. You know I won't like it. I know. Holy shit. Hold on. You just fucking stole. Well, basically the Tosh point. This actually is hysterical. So, Rick, not only is this from. Look, it has. It has the lights that are behind it that light up Tosh zero. But he just fucking ripped this out of the goddamn wall. It would take hours to get off and it's going right to the can. Where are you keeping all this shit, Rick? Well, gonna be at your house now, Daniel. There's no fucking nuts in hell. Santa can't leave just yet. Oh, no. Oh my God. Oh, no. I didn't ask for anything, Santa. I know, but the show did. What is this? Look at this. This is nice. This is for your son. Do I. So I don't open it now? That one you don't open. Okay. That's really nicey. I'm gonna get this off my desk. This one Daniel opens. I open this. Open it now. You can if you'd like. And I have something here for John. Good. This guy knows everybody that works on the show. And for Pete. Oh, looks like the same thing. Something for Dylan. No one remembers Dylan. Dylan. Santa is real. And a little something for Eddie. Ed. Look at this. It's like Christmas today. Thank you so much. And everybody on the show, on behalf of them, thank you. Absolutely. Can I ask for a big ho ho ho. Oh. Merry Christmas, Daniel. Merry Christmas. I'll see you Christmas Eve. But you'd better not see me. This episode is brought to you by Prizepix. On prizepix. How you play is up to you. If you want flexibility, choose Flexplay. Where you get paid even if one of your picks misses. And if you want the biggest payouts, go for the power play. No matter your play, Prize picks is a great way to put your takes to the test. We got the NFL on Christmas day. Denver at Kansas City. Bo. Knicks. Wait for it. Interception. Choose more. How about some Christmas? NBA? Also Mavs @ Warriors. The Mavs are struggling and I'm afraid Cooper will too. I'm going to choose less points for the big guy from Maine, the Warriors. I still got. I got faith in those geriatrics. More from the Warriors. These locks are your presents from me. Enjoy a little extra money in your pocket on Christmas day. Download the Prize Picks app today and use code tosh to get $50 in lineups after you play your first five dollar lineup. That's code tosh to get $50 in lineups after you play your first $5 lineup. Prize picks it's good to be right. Everyone deserves to be connected. That's why T Mobile and US Cellular are joining forces. Switch to T Mobile and save up to 20% versus Verizon by getting built in benefits they leave out. Check the math@t mobile.com switch and now T mobile is in US cellular stores. Savings versus Comparable Verizon plans plus the cost of optional benefits. Plan features and taxes and fees vary. Savings with three plus lines include third line free via monthly bill credits. Credit stop if you cancel any lines. Qualifying credit required. Hey, Ryan Reynolds here wishing you a very happy half off holiday because right now Mint Mobile is offering you the gift of 50% off unlimited. To be clear, that's half price, not half the service. Mint is still premium unlimited wireless for a great price. So that means a half day. Yeah. Give it a try@mintmobile.com Switch upfront payment $45 for three month plan equivalent to $15 per month required new customer offer for first three months only. Speed slow after 35 gigabytes of network's busy taxes and fees extra. See mintmobile.com Paw Show. Well, I am generous. Yeah, you are. I cannot wait for Christmas to be over because now I've got a whole new stack of stuff to get rid of. I wonder if when people buy me things now they're just like, ugh, he's gonna give this away. Yep, good. Stop buying me stuff. My parents stopped buying me stuff decades ago. They were aware. You know, one time my brother and I mocked my parents for putting a $20 bill in something when we were like in our 20s. And we're like, oh thanks. Now when we go to the ATM, we'll only have to take out $80. And it was at that point I think my mom said, shut up. I'll never give you guys anything ever again. And we were like, great dream scenario, right? We get nothing. We get text. That's all we get. Hey Carl, you're looking a little sloppy. Groomer next week. What do you say? Deal. Let's do some plugs. Patreon.com toss show for your borderless content. My first farewell tour shows are being added. We're doing two shows in Aspen, Colorado. There you go. One of them, I believe, is at 4 o'. Clock. Now, that's my kind of show. It's on the Sabbath. Four o'. Clock. I wonder if people in Aspen have ever referred to Sunday as the Sabbath. I doubt it. They're godless there. Even though they're so close to God, they're so high. Oh, they're high. What's the elevation there, Ed? 7891. 7891. What's the top of Snowmass or Ajax? That seems to be 11,000, 212. Okay, we're going to be between 7,000 and 11,000ft. That sounds fun. Well, two shows. Now that's a small venue. But the ticket price is high, so that makes up for it. Oh, yeah, Economics. Come on, I'll give you the best show I can do. I will try as hard as I can. Well, by the way, I don't ever have a problem performing in altitude. That is not the case for a lot of comedians. I've watched so many comedians in Aspen backstage huffing on oxygen. They all fly in and then they get drunk and then they have to perform. It's a disaster. Tossshowstore.com, get some merch. All right. Hey, before we move on to my wife's cousin Panda and trying to find her love. Look at this. This is one of her new business cards. I like. She started a business underneath my roof. What. What's the business? Art Panda. She does art classes for kids. She'll like, do like a birthday party. She was at a, you know, there was some coffee function. Sunny Day coffee. Had a. Had a big function in this beautiful, you know, ranch and they had. She had a table set up for the kids and she's doing. She's Art Panda. I like it. Yeah, it's the cutest thing ever. Anyway, it's one of her business cards. It's got her cell phone on it. 904. She got a 904 area code. She's still. Still living that Jack's beach life. Anyway, we got any voicemails for today? We do have some voicemails. Let's hear it. Potential suitors. Hey, Daniel, this is Wes. I'm interested in Panda. I am a architect and I run 100 milers don't have much equine experience. My dad has a horse and we're just all kind of waiting for him to pass so we can get rid of It. But if Panda wants it, she can have it. We probably get along well on vacation because I like doing dumb stuff. All right, listen, I kind of like that guy, right? Architect, good runs, hundred milers, horrible red flag. That's a lot of time away. No, I don't care about that. It's just the personality trait. He's running from something that. That where you. Where you need to go that far. Why not go jog for. For 30 to 45 minutes and come home that every day? Don't do it every day. Do it three to three days a week. Stop being an asshole on the side of the road. Nothing bothers me more than when people bike or jog on the side of the PCH through the Palisades in Santa Monica when there's a breathtaking bike jog path on the ocean. Yeah. Yet you think your. Your pure style warrants being on the freeway where I've got to make sure that I give you enough room and don't wedge into a guardrail. Fuck you. Anybody else? Yep. Hey, this is Matt. I was just listening, but I kind of tuned out of the voicemail because I finished with the podcast and that's enough hearing Daniel talk for now. I can call back and leave another voicemail, but if Amanda's I thing has been cleared up, I know another viewer called in about that. I'll do that. But if that eye thing is still going on, Everyone has their limits. We'll call it there. Good luck. Okay, well, I've got good news for him. The eye thing has been under control. You know, occasionally it flares up, but she has come up with some type of allergy medicine routine that puts it at bay, but she's not doing what the guy that called in said. But that. That's because her own thing has been working as of late. So I don't think her eye thing is fixed, but it hasn't flared up recently. Let's. Let's get those two in the sack. See you next.
Host: Daniel Tosh
Theme: Daniel Tosh’s irreverent take on Christmas, Hallmark movies, and the art of regifting
In this holiday-themed episode, Daniel Tosh hilariously chronicles his annual tradition of regifting unwanted household items to his guests, delivering sharp critiques of modern Christmas movies, and sharing stories from his personal life. Tosh is joined by sidekicks Ed and others as he roasts media trends, his own family's holiday antics, and the very concept of giving gifts. The episode blends cozy nostalgia with Tosh’s tongue-in-cheek irreverence, culminating in a wild "gift exchange" segment that spirals into chaos and laughter.
Tosh questions the entire concept of gifts, shares a story about his parents:
Plugs Upcoming Shows and Merchandise
Discusses Art Panda, his wife’s new children’s art business.
Voicemail segment: Listeners calling in as potential dates for his cousin Panda, comically screening the applicants.
On Hallmark knockoffs:
“I hate when the other networks try to do it. All the streaming services, I don't watch them. They all suck. They're not Christmas, okay? That's just being greedy.” (04:30)
On wife spoiling a kidnapping drama:
“Power move by my wife to just spoil a show and make me go, well, that's good, let's go to bed.” (18:37)
On regifting:
“Well, I am generous. I cannot wait for Christmas to be over because now I've got a whole new stack of stuff to get rid of.” (58:02)
"My Season of Regifting" is classic Daniel Tosh: irreverent, self-aware, and brutally funny. He serves up pop culture critiques, domestic anecdotes, and a delightfully unhinged regifting tradition. The episode’s energy peaks with an absurd parade of unwanted (and sometimes barely usable) presents, before winding down with a wink to listeners about the futility and comedy of holiday customs. Equal parts roast and homage, it’s a holiday episode only Daniel Tosh could deliver.