My Ultrarunner Hero - John Kelly

Summary

Podcast Title: Tosh Show
Host: Daniel Tosh, iHeartPodcasts
Episode Title: My Ultrarunner Hero - John Kelly
Release Date: December 3, 2024

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Introduction

In this episode of the Tosh Show, host Daniel Tosh sits down with John Kelly, an accomplished ultramarathoner renowned for his multiple completions of the infamous Barkley Marathons. Released on December 3, 2024, this episode delves deep into Kelly’s extraordinary running career, the grueling nature of the Barkley Marathons, and the personal challenges he has overcome to achieve such feats.

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Guest Introduction and Background

Daniel Tosh introduces John Kelly as "one of the most physically impressive individuals" he has ever met. Paul, another host, adds a touch of humor by referring to Kelly as a "mild-mannered masochist" and praises his ultrarunning prowess.

Key Quote:

Paul [10:18]: "There's a good chance my guest today ran all the way here from Tennessee. He is one of only a handful of people in the history of humankind to finish the Barkley marathons, and he's done it three times."

John Kelly clarifies his origins, mentioning that he currently resides in Santa Monica, near the North Carolina-Tennessee border, and explains that his journey into ultrarunning began after a decade-long hiatus from the sport.

Key Quote:

John Kelly [11:00]: "Yeah, I'm right there on the North Carolina Tennessee border."

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Understanding the Barkley Marathons

The core of the conversation revolves around the Barkley Marathons, a notoriously challenging ultramarathon held annually in Tennessee's rugged mountains. Hosted over 60 hours, participants must complete five loops, each approximately 20 miles, navigating unmarked trails without GPS assistance. Verification of each loop is done by ripping a corresponding page from a race-specific book, ensuring the runner's adherence to the course.

Key Details:

• History: Initiated in 1986, the race was inspired by the escape of James Earl Ray, the assassin of Martin Luther King Jr., who evaded capture for over 60 hours.
• Completion Rate: As of the episode, only 24 individuals have successfully completed the race since its inception.
• Race Director: Gary Cantrell, a fellow ultrarunner and heavy smoker, created the race, though he himself has never completed it.

Key Quote:

John Kelly [16:15]: "The race was based off the assassination of James Earl Ray, who escaped from prison and was caught 60 hours later and had only made it 12 miles away."

Notable Rules and Features:

• Entry Fee: A mere $1.60, originally intended as $0.01 per mile for the race.
• Start Time: Randomized, announced only an hour before the race via unconventional signals like a conch shell or the race director lighting a cigarette.
• Course Integrity: Strict policies against off-trail running to protect native species and avoid dangerous areas like open mineshafts.

Key Quote:

John Kelly [17:05]: "I'm pretty infamous for my sweet tooth and junk food, so it's."

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John Kelly’s Experiences and Achievements

John Kelly shares his personal journey with the Barkley Marathons, highlighting his initial failures and eventual successes. His first completion in 2017 made him the only finisher that year. He later completed the race in 2023, demonstrating his resilience and dedication.

Key Quotes:

John Kelly [10:33]: "Please welcome to the studio where we sit down in chairs for an hour like normal people. Mild mannered, masochist, I mean, ultra marathoner John Kelly."

John Kelly [23:38]: "Yeah, I've done pretty well, you know, but that's not to say I don't still have goals."

Kelly recounts winning the race in 2007 and shares a poignant moment from his second finish, where he took a 20-minute break at the summit of a mountain overlooking his childhood home, savoring the achievement amidst perfect conditions.

Key Quote:

John Kelly [23:43]: "The first finish, all I wanted to do was get there. The second finish, I wanted to enjoy it. And it was incredible… I just stopped and enjoyed it for 20 minutes at the top, and that was rewarding."

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Challenges and Personal Anecdotes

Kelly opens up about the intense physical and mental challenges of the Barkley Marathons. He discusses issues like sleep deprivation, hallucinations, and the risk of injury, illustrating the extreme conditions runners face.

Notable Anecdotes:

• Parenting Mishap: Early in the podcast, Daniel Tosh humorously shares a story about a parenting mishap where he accidentally injured his daughter while playing with her at school. This segment, while not directly related to Kelly's story, sets a personal and relatable tone for the episode.

Key Quote:

Daniel Tosh [02:08]: "I done goofed. I'm worried they're gonna backtrace me now."

• Lost Pages Incident: In 2022, Kelly lost his verification pages due to a faulty waist belt, forcing him to abandon the race just shy of completion. Despite this setback, he views his early attempts as crucial steps toward eventual success.

Key Quote:

John Kelly [22:44]: "I thought you would appreciate that…"

• Encounter with a Childhood Friend: During the race, Kelly had a surreal encounter with an old friend, leading him to believe he was hallucinating. This moment underscores the mental strain of ultrarunning.

Key Quote:

John Kelly [25:01]: "This time probably a couple times... [I] was convinced. I was like, I finally had my first real hallucination."

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Balancing Ultrarunning with Personal Life

John Kelly discusses the delicate balance between his demanding ultrarunning schedule and his responsibilities as a father of four. He emphasizes being a hands-on father while ensuring he doesn't become a helicopter parent, allowing his children the freedom to learn and grow independently.

Key Quotes:

John Kelly [28:27]: "Yeah. Yeah. I've got my own Italian designer running shirts here."

John Kelly [37:14]: "Yeah, that's hilarious. But in the end, it's about balance."

Kelly also touches upon how ultrarunning fits into his daily routine, noting that his training regimen is comparable to that of a serious marathoner, yet he maintains a flexible approach to prevent it from becoming obsessive.

Key Quote:

John Kelly [29:09]: "Mainly distance, but you know, I don't go as far as everyone assumes I would. I really don't train more than a serious marathon runner would."

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Conclusion

The episode wraps up with light-hearted interactions between Daniel Tosh, Paul, and John Kelly. Tosh humorously addresses the influx of gifts from guests, emphasizing his preference for minimal material possessions. The trio also engages in playful banter about ultrarunning gear and personal anecdotes, maintaining the show's signature comedic tone.

Key Quote:

Daniel Tosh [52:55]: "Until next week. I'm the captain now."

---

Notable Quotes and Timestamps

• Paul [10:18]: "There's a good chance my guest today ran all the way here from Tennessee. He is one of only a handful of people in the history of humankind to finish the Barkley marathons, and he's done it three times."

• John Kelly [11:00]: "Yeah, I'm right there on the North Carolina Tennessee border."

• John Kelly [16:15]: "The race was based off the assassination of James Earl Ray, who escaped from prison and was caught 60 hours later and had only made it 12 miles away."

• John Kelly [23:38]: "Yeah, I've done pretty well, you know, but that's not to say I don't still have goals."

• John Kelly [25:01]: "This time probably a couple times... [I] was convinced. I was like, I finally had my first real hallucination."

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Key Takeaways

• Persistence Pays Off: John Kelly’s journey underscores the importance of perseverance. His initial failures at the Barkley Marathons were instrumental in honing his skills and mindset, ultimately leading to his multiple completions.

• Mental and Physical Fortitude: The Barkley Marathons test the limits of human endurance, requiring not just physical strength but also immense mental resilience.

• Balancing Personal Life: Achieving success in such an extreme sport necessitates a careful balance between personal responsibilities and athletic ambitions. Kelly exemplifies how one can maintain this equilibrium.

• Community and Recognition: Despite the Barkley Marathons being a niche event, the growing recognition and pride among locals highlight the impact and significance of such challenges within smaller communities.

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This episode offers listeners an inspiring glimpse into the life of an ultrarunner who has conquered one of the most demanding races in the world. Through John Kelly’s stories, the Tosh Show not only entertains but also sheds light on the extraordinary dedication required to excel in the realm of ultrarunning.

Transcript

[Paul]

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[Daniel Tosh]

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[Paul]

Or dsw.com up until the very first year that you finished it in 2017.

[John Kelly]

Yep.

[Paul]

And it started in the mid-80s.

[John Kelly]

Yeah. 86.

[Paul]

86. Okay. How many people had finished it by the. By your first year of running it?

[John Kelly]

14 had finished.

[Paul]

14 humans had ever finished this race. Posho.

[Daniel Tosh]

Posh show. Posh show. Paul, happy, happy Tuesday. It's your buddy, Daniel Tosh. Welcome to another episode of Tosh Show.

[Paul]

Whew.

[Daniel Tosh]

I am relieved. Why are you relieved, Eddie? I done goofed.

[Eddie]

Uh oh.

[Daniel Tosh]

I done goofed. I'm worried they're gonna backtrace me now. I consider myself to be a top 10 parent. True or false. Doesn't matter. In my head, I'm a top 10 parent. But what I did to my daughter the other day, if someone were to say, hey, we have to take your child away from you for a week just so you understand how bad what you did was, I would be like, that seems fair.

[Eddie]

Wow.

[Daniel Tosh]

Yeah.

[Paul]

You ready for this?

[Eddie]

Yeah. Let's hear it.

[Daniel Tosh]

Okay. Every day of my son's life, I walk him to School. But I walk him with his sister. His sister's a year and a half, a little bit older. We get there, we do a routine. We go to his class, puts his book bag away. We play for about three or four minutes outside, and then we go in. We start on the first project of the day. They let the parents kind of assist, you know, with the first little writing activity. You know, my daughter, sometimes she participates with me. On this day, they were doing a little. One of the classmates was doing a presentation to start the class, and my daughter was being a little loud, so I excuse myself with her. We go outside, stand by the window, and watch from outside. Got it?

[Eddie]

Nice.

[Daniel Tosh]

Okay. You're not ready for this.

[Eddie]

I don't think I am.

[Daniel Tosh]

There's a metal bin about table height, you know, just slightly. My daughter's a little bit taller than it is that. They put all the balls in from recess. I thought it'd be funny. I put my daughter inside of it. It's right next to the window. I can watch inside. And then my daughter starts throwing the balls out. And then I pick the balls up, I put them back in. She's laughing. Now we've got a game. Okay. She throws the balls out. I pick them up, I put them in. I go to my phone, I look at things. I take a photo of her. How cute. Let's do it again. Okay. Next thing I know, I don't know what I was doing. Certainly wasn't paying attention. She climbs up out of the cage on her waist, flips over, heads straight down into concrete.

[John Kelly]

Oh, man.

[Daniel Tosh]

Bites her tongue in half, bleeding. I'm positive she's concussed. Just screaming. The TK teacher assistant, she sees me. She's like, oh, like she saw it.

[Eddie]

Yep.

[Daniel Tosh]

Oh, no. There's nothing I can do at this point. I'm like, oh, no. So I just start running. No, I'm kidding. I pick my daughter up, and she's just screaming like, oh, why have you forsaken me, Father? You've never let me get hurt. And I'm just like, oh, no. I'm holding her. You know, my wife, she. I don't know where she was at the time. She just comes running out of the classroom. She's like, oh, no, what happened? I'm like. I just. Tell the truth. I'm like, she was in this thing. She climbed, got herself up and flipped over, landed on her head, you know? Do we need to go get a CAT scan? I don't know what you're supposed to do. I don't know how hard you're supposed to hit your head on concrete. Turns out she just bit her tongue a little bit. Not too bad. But she is bleeding, but that's starting to stop. But now I'm like, well, I gotta feel her head. You know, when a kid hits their head, it knots up really good.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

Okay. I can't find anything. Nothing. I'm just like, there's nothing wrong with her. She landed on her head. She rolled out of it perfectly. Maybe she hit her shoulder. I didn't actually see the impact. All I know is she's got a nap coming up and it's gonna be three hours long. And for those three hours, you know, I'm gonna be. I'm gonna be panic stricken.

[Eddie]

Right.

[Daniel Tosh]

Her mood snaps back to normal. Her eyes look fine. I'm trying to do concussion protocol.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

I don't know what it is. You know, I'm like, let's go to the blue tent and popping up a tent. Yeah, let's, let's. Let's see if you can still play. She's playing. You gotta get her back out there. I keep thinking in my head, she's probably gonna be nauseous or irritable. If it's a real concussion, she was neither of those. Anyway, she goes down for the nap. She sleeps for two and a half hours. I keep checking her. There's movement. Her personality seems slightly altered, but whatever, maybe it's for the better. The rest of the day she's fine. You know, what are you gonna do? This happens.

[Eddie]

Yep.

[Daniel Tosh]

You feel so stupid.

[Eddie]

You do feel bad.

[Daniel Tosh]

God, you feel stupid. You're like, how can I let this happen? I never let it happen with my son. He never took a spill under my watch. But my daughter, woo. This was a real one. Anyway, I got a new game I want to play. It's called PETA Vers Non. What do you like better, Eddie, Peter or non?

[Eddie]

I'm going non.

[Daniel Tosh]

That's how you play.

[Eddie]

Oh.

[Daniel Tosh]

Give you guys an update about having my wife on the podcast. Now, the negotiations have hit a snag, partially because my daughter was dropped on her head. Okay, okay. But, you know, this year, calendar year 2024, not looking good. First of the year, 2025. I think I can make it happen.

[Eddie]

All right.

[Daniel Tosh]

I think she'll be over it by then. And I'll be honest with you, having my wife on, probably not going to be that interesting. Anyway, you're going to find out what my night's like every day. And it's like, yeah, you want to go to bed. Yeah, it's 8:45. Well let's do it. No. We have a wonderful relationship. It is riveting. So many fun stories to share. All right, not as fun as today's guest. Today's guest may single handedly be the most impressive person physically that I've ever met in my life. Enjoy the flavor, the tradition and the.

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[Paul]

PA Show. There's a good chance my guest today ran all the way here from Tennessee. He is one of only a handful of people in the history of humankind to finish the Barkley marathons and he's.

[Daniel Tosh]

Done it three times.

[Paul]

Please welcome to the studio where we sit down in chairs for an hour like normal people. Mild mannered, masochist, I mean, ultra marathoner John Kelly.

[John Kelly]

Thank you. Excited to be here. Didn't come all the way from Tennessee, but I was tempted to run to the studio here.

[Paul]

Oh, man. Where'd you come from?

[John Kelly]

Santa Monica. So just down the road.

[Paul]

Yeah, Santa Monica. I thought he was in Tennessee. You live in Tennessee though, don't you?

[John Kelly]

Yeah, yeah, I'm right there on the North Carolina Tennessee border.

[Paul]

You guys got hammered?

[John Kelly]

We did.

[Paul]

On this storm. Did your. How did your neck of the woods do?

[John Kelly]

So our house was very fortunate. We lost power and water for a few days. Our road was washed out. But yeah, there are definitely areas that have effectively been wiped off the map.

[Paul]

Oh, that's awful. Oh, well, I'm gonna get more into Tennessee. Let's start this with my first question. Okay. Do you believe in ghosts, John?

[John Kelly]

I'm ghost agnostic.

[Paul]

Okay.

[John Kelly]

Evidence isn't there.

[Paul]

Mm. Your name is John Kelly. You worked under President Trump.

[John Kelly]

I get that a lot. I get lots of angry messages on social media thinking that I'm that John Kelly. But no, not me.

[Paul]

Were you on the track team in.

[John Kelly]

I was, did track and cross country. I was good. Definitely not great. Took about 10 years after that before I started running again.

[Paul]

Can you be a great ultra Marathoner at 19 or does it really take experience and like, I mean, you can go till you're 50, right? Or is that not true?

[John Kelly]

Yeah, the things that I do, the multiple day events, there are people still competing at the top end until about 50. Some of the shorter events you could certainly do when you're 19 and be extremely good. But the longer things get, the more time you have to have to build that aerobic base and to build the experience.

[Paul]

What's the longest distance you've ever run? 100 miles. You ever done one of those dumb races?

[John Kelly]

Oh, yeah. I focus on the multi day stuff and so one event I did was about 350.

[Paul]

350 miles?

[John Kelly]

Yeah.

[Paul]

I love everything you're saying. And when you average your time out, what minute miles are you doing for 350 miles?

[John Kelly]

So that one took about five and a half days, but that's including sleep. Probably got about six to eight hours of sleep over that period of time. So, you know, in the mountains, for that length of time, if 20 to 30 minutes a mile is going to be pretty solid. You look at Barclay and it's really. All you have to do is move 30 minutes a mile to finish and. And you're good. Yeah.

[Paul]

All right, let's get into the Barclay marathons because now this, I'm going to, I'm going to ramble on it. You correct me when I'm wrong. Somehow something came into my feed. I started reading about this and then I just became fascinated and then I just. All I could do was look into this. So the Barclay marathons are a multi day race of 5. 5 day race, 60 hours, 60 hours, 60 hour race in the mountains of Tennessee. And it's basically every day you're running a loop, which is basically a marathon. It's a little less than a marathon. Yes. 20 miles a day. Is that what it is, or 20 miles a loop?

[John Kelly]

Yeah, he calls it 20 miles. It's more like 26. It's all unmarked.

[Paul]

Okay, fair enough.

[Daniel Tosh]

It's unmarked.

[Paul]

You don't have like a GPS with you or anything like that. You have to run this crazy race. There's a book that you have to rip a page out that coincides with your number so that to verify that you actually went. People lose pages. People's books have been occasionally mysteriously lost or misplaced. And if you don't get that page, your race doesn't count. You don't. You're not in the record books. As someone who finished it and up until the very first year that you finished it in 2017.

[John Kelly]

Yep.

[Paul]

How many people had finished the race in. And it started in the mid-80s?

[John Kelly]

Yeah. 86.

[Paul]

86. Okay, so. So I, you know, no one can do that math, but how many years Was that when 2017?

[John Kelly]

31.

[Paul]

31. All right, so how many people had finished it by the, by your first year of running it?

[John Kelly]

14 had finished.

[Paul]

14 humans had ever finished this race. This is why it became fascinating. The first person to finish the race was a full decade after the race had been going on. Correct?

[John Kelly]

Yeah. And he kind of. Everyone thought it was a joke at first, like, oh, no one can actually do the first five loops. And this Mark Williams came over from the UK and wasn't in on the joke and he went ahead and went out and did the full five loops.

[Paul]

How many people have finished to this day?

[John Kelly]

20 now.

[Paul]

And this year? 20.

[Daniel Tosh]

24.

[Paul]

The first female finished what did you think of that? Were you upset?

[John Kelly]

No, it was incredible. So I. That was Jasmine Paris, a Brit. I lived in the UK for a few years and got to know her quite well. And it was. I mean, I don't know that I'll ever see anything in sports like that. Definitely not in person. Everyone had given up. She had no chance. Time was running out. And then running into camp and finishing like that with 30 seconds to spare.

[Ryan Seacrest]

16 hours.

[Paul]

And if she was 35 seconds wouldn't have counted.

[John Kelly]

Nope.

[Daniel Tosh]

There is 60 hours.

[Paul]

She was 30 seconds away from it, not counting. Finished all five loops. How many women every year do you see in the race?

[John Kelly]

I'd say it's about a quarter. So, you know, eight to ten.

[Paul]

They only let 40 people run, right?

[John Kelly]

Yeah. And it's math to try to figure out the number of total loops amongst those 40 people.

[Paul]

And this race was based off of the assassination of mlk. What's his name?

[John Kelly]

James Earl Ray.

[Paul]

James Earl Ray, who escaped from prison and was caught 60 hours later and had only made it 12 miles away.

[John Kelly]

Yeah, I think it was less than that. Just a few miles, kind of curled up in the fetal position. And so Gary Cantrell, the race director, kind of said, oh, I could go 100 miles in that amount of time in those mountains.

[Paul]

And that was the genesis of the race.

[John Kelly]

Yeah.

[Paul]

By the way, the guy, Gary Cantrell, he's the one that started this race. Is he a runner?

[John Kelly]

Yeah, yeah. He's quite an accomplished ultra runner back in his day. And also a heavy smoker. So there's where you get your mix there.

[Paul]

Okay. Has he ever finished the race?

[John Kelly]

Oh, no, no, not even, like. Not close. He's done a loop at least.

[Paul]

And by the way, does he own this land?

[John Kelly]

No, it's a state park.

[Paul]

And has the state ever been like, oh, you can't run on this?

[John Kelly]

Yeah. In the early 2000s, the Head park ranger effectively tried to shut it down, and it took a resolution by the Tennessee State Senate to keep it going. And that's why things are so strict now on kind of protecting the land that we run on, limiting the number of entrants, limiting any sort of spectators.

[Paul]

It's not a spectator sport. Or is it at all?

[John Kelly]

No.

[Paul]

Can I come and watch the finish?

[John Kelly]

No, because it's in a tiny park that's really resource and space constrained as it is, just with the participants, and most of it is off trail out in the wilderness.

[Paul]

I just want to see the final leg.

[John Kelly]

Yeah, I mean, it's.

[Paul]

What about cameras? Will he set up cameras ever?

[John Kelly]

He has had a few people on specific spots on course with cameras before, and he does have a few media people there each year.

[Paul]

Okay. Why I'm so fascinated with you in particular is that you grew up in a neighboring mountain, and the odds of that are ridiculous.

[John Kelly]

Yeah. This is a tiny rural community that, you know, the high schools don't even have track and cross country teams there. No one runs. The whole idea of running for fun is just a foreign concept to most people there. So it's astronomical. Odd someone would want to do it, much less be capable of finishing it.

[Paul]

He probably has no desire to commercialize the Barclay Marathons.

[John Kelly]

No, there are no sponsors. The entry fee is still $1.60.

[Paul]

And what's that the price of?

[John Kelly]

So originally it was supposed to be one or. Yeah, $0.01 per mile with the 100 miler plus the fun run added together is where it came from to get in the race.

[Paul]

This is also fascinating. You don't just like, oh, I want to show up for this race. Like, it's not like the New York Marathon. You have to write an essay every year. Do you have to write an essay or are you grandfathered in now?

[John Kelly]

Yeah, I'm grandfathered in. And once you finish. So I don't waste my time or his with a big essay.

[Paul]

And is he grading papers? What is he looking for in this essay?

[John Kelly]

He's looking for, do you have the motivation and do you have the credentials to actually have a legit shot at this?

[Paul]

Well, what if you're like a famous ultramarathoner, but you're like, you don't want to pick up a pen and jot a few things down?

[John Kelly]

Well, if you're not motivated enough to do that, you're probably not motivated enough to finish the race.

[Paul]

Jon, I hate everything you're saying. And it's 100% accurate. Okay, so you write an essay, he lets you in the race. Now, the race always takes place in April or May.

[John Kelly]

March or April.

[Paul]

March or. I don't. I tried to research it. This is just all from memory.

[John Kelly]

You've done good. Again, much better than a lot of running podcasts that have been on.

[Daniel Tosh]

It's just.

[Paul]

It's just batshit bonkers what they're doing. Okay. He lets you know when the race is going to be. How far in advance?

[John Kelly]

Few months.

[Paul]

Yeah, but then when you get there, the start time is tbd.

[John Kelly]

It can be anywhere between midnight and noon, and you're notified an hour ahead of time.

[Paul]

Okay. And then when the Race starts, he blows a conch shell or something.

[John Kelly]

That's. That's your one hour warning.

[Daniel Tosh]

That's a one hour warning.

[Paul]

And then when he lights a cigarette, start running.

[John Kelly]

Yep.

[Paul]

Do you everyone at the same time or is it staggered?

[John Kelly]

No, it's, it's. Everyone. It, it's a small field, so that kind of keeps things spaced out.

[Paul]

Your preferred time to start the race.

[John Kelly]

An hour before first glide. I think for me is perfect because you start off on a climb and on the climbs you don't really need light very much because you're going slow. So then by the time you start your first descent, you have daylight.

[Paul]

Okay. And so you're going through the mountains. It's not a loop. It's not like a trail that like every 10th tree is painted red. It's. You have to figure this out. He gives you a watch. Like some digital crappy watch.

[John Kelly]

Yeah, it's like a $10 Walmart Timex thing. That's what I wear.

[Paul]

I only wear it when I go surfing. And then that way I know it's okay, the kid's about to wake up, time to get home and be a parent. But you have to navigate some new path through the mountains. And the elevation that you're going up and down throughout this 60 hour race is the equivalent to two up and downs of Mount Everest.

[John Kelly]

Yep. Net 00 net elevation change.

[Paul]

That is ridiculous. So that's the race. Now, the first time you ran it, did you finish?

[John Kelly]

No, I got three loops.

[Paul]

Is that considered a fun run?

[John Kelly]

It is.

[Paul]

Because if you do three loops of fun run, by the way, each loop, first loop one direction, second loop opposite direction, and then who's ever in first place for the fifth and final loop, they get to which way they go. Is that an advantage at all?

[John Kelly]

It is. Generally clockwise direction is preferred and someone just might be more familiar with a given direction.

[Paul]

Have you ever been in the lead for the fifth loop?

[John Kelly]

Yeah. So I chose my direction. Both of my first two finishes. And this past year I kind of. I'd already finished twice and I knew both directions pretty well, so I kind of just told the other people they could pick and I go out whenever.

[Paul]

Look at you.

[John Kelly]

Well, I also, you know, I wanted the finish in the other direction.

[Paul]

Let's talk about the years you finished. 2017. What was the next one?

[John Kelly]

2023.

[Paul]

Oh, what a huge gap.

[John Kelly]

Yeah.

[Paul]

Of failure in between there. Do you consider it failure if you don't finish?

[John Kelly]

I only tried twice in that gap. The first time I was in the lead after Two loops and I just quit. I didn't want to do it.

[Paul]

Oh, my goodness.

[John Kelly]

I was cursed with knowing what the later loops would bring and realized that I just didn't care enough to go through that. And then 2022, I lost my pages. I had them in a little waist belt and the waist belt came off. I spent hours going up and down a hill looking, and by the time I found them, just not enough time left to keep going.

[Paul]

I mean, just horrible depression after that.

[John Kelly]

No, it's fine. And, you know, it's like you said, do I consider it failure? You know, maybe technically. But like those early failures for me in Barclay, like my first year I did three loops. The second I did four. Those failures were my quickest path to success. I really jumped in the deep end and had no idea what I was doing that first year. So, sure, my goal was to finish, but failing is what led to my eventual finish.

[Paul]

Have you won it?

[John Kelly]

Yeah, I won it in 2007. I was the only finisher in 2017.

[Paul]

Was that the most rewarding race of your life?

[John Kelly]

The first finish, all I wanted to do was get there. The second finish, I wanted to enjoy it. And it was incredible. The final climb goes up a mountain that overlooks my childhood home. And it was a beautiful sunset, perfect conditions, and I just stopped and enjoyed it for 20 minutes at the top, and that was rewarding. And then this past year, getting to see others finish, Jasmine finish, that was. That was an experience.

[Paul]

Correct me if I'm wrong here, but this has happened. I panicked when you said you stopped and enjoyed it for 20 minutes. People have tried to do like a 20 minute cat nap and then just fallen asleep for eight hours.

[John Kelly]

Yeah, that's happened. And it's something that I'm always concerned about. I try to follow. If I do do that on the trail, I try to find really uncomfortable spots to do it to where I know that my body will wake itself up after a bit of time.

[Paul]

I think I read about somebody that tried to fall asleep in like a tire rut that was full of water.

[John Kelly]

That was me.

[Daniel Tosh]

That was you?

[John Kelly]

Yeah, yeah.

[Paul]

That was you? Oh, I read about that.

[Daniel Tosh]

That was.

[Paul]

So he put himself in a tire rut just like what he's saying, because it was like, this is the most uncomfortable place. There's no way I'll sleep for a long time in here. How long did you sleep?

[John Kelly]

It was, you know, 15 minutes, if even that. And that was. So sorry. This was. This was one of maybe my craziest ultra running story where Wait, wait.

[Paul]

Wa. A family?

[John Kelly]

Yeah.

[Paul]

Okay, go on.

[John Kelly]

So I. I laid down. I found this muddy tire track. I'm like, oh, that's perfect. And I. I laid down, was there for a few minutes, and then I look up, and here comes this guy and his wife and his two kids walking up. And just without hesitation, I go, oh, hey, Kit. How's it going? And he says, oh, that's a John Kelly nap if I've ever seen one. And I mumble something about Barkley, and he just keeps going. And it wasn't until after the race that I was like, wait a second. The probability that someone was out there at that time in this random place, that it happened to be one of my childhood friends from 20 years ago that I hadn't seen since high school, I immediately recognized him. And then he just kept going like everything was fine.

[Paul]

So you know what? It didn't happen.

[John Kelly]

I was convinced. I was like, I finally had my first real hallucination. Because other people have hallucinations, like seeing pink unicorns and all sorts of crazy stuff that never happens to me. And I was like, I finally had it. And then I found him on LinkedIn, of all places. I was like, hey, Kit, this is gonna sound weird, but was this you? And he said, yeah, yeah, it was me. We love going for hikes out at Frozen Head. I actually saw it.

[Paul]

And why did he say. Why did he say the John Kelly Knapp thing?

[John Kelly]

Because he knew about Barkley and he knew what I had done there. So, you know. Cause normally I would think if you see someone face down on a muddy tire track in the woods, you might be concerned. But no, he just kept going face down. Yeah, well, you know, I'm a stomach sweeper.

[Paul]

Well, sure. I mean, you gotta be uncomfortable. Do people in the area, are they even familiar with this race? Do they know that people throughout the world care about this race? That are these elite athletes?

[John Kelly]

They definitely do now. And that's been one of the cool things for me is seeing that knowledge and that pride and it grow over the years that I've done it. When I was a kid, my dad kind of knew that crazy people showed up in the woods at the park there once a year, but didn't know much more about it.

[Paul]

I mean, there should be a sign going into your city that says you live there. I mean, do people know who you are in town? Like, oh, hometown boy made good or no?

[John Kelly]

A bit, yeah.

[Paul]

That's my goal here. My goal here is to get you on a Wheaties box. If anybody should be on a Wheaties box. By the way, Wheatie's an underrated cereal and it tastes pretty good if you dump a lot of sugar on it. What about your diet? Are you crazy about your diet?

[John Kelly]

No. I'm pretty infamous for my sweet tooth and junk food, so it's.

[Paul]

Oh, man. After my own heart.

[John Kelly]

You got fuel? Yeah.

[Paul]

How do you eat during the race?

[John Kelly]

A lot of it's liquid calories and gels. Some of it is also. In a race that length, you're missing actual meals too. So between loops in particular, might have a burger or pizza or whatever.

[Paul]

You're missing birthdays. I mean, you're missing meals, days. But by the way, has it ever fallen on anything where you're like. It has some pretty serious conflicts with your personal life?

[John Kelly]

That's something that I avoid. And it is a bit of a minefield now as the kids have more activities. There are only so many weekends per year, endless activities.

[Paul]

It's just nonstop. Every day with these kids, a new thing I have to care about. You have four children. Do you like being a dad?

[John Kelly]

Yeah.

[Paul]

That's pretty fun, huh?

[John Kelly]

That's great.

[Paul]

Are you a hands on father?

[John Kelly]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Paul]

All right.

[John Kelly]

I'm not a helicopter parent by any means. No, no. They've gotta learn.

[Paul]

Okay, well, I mean, sure, but.

[John Kelly]

Gotta have the freedom to screw up.

[Paul]

Well, right, but you don't wanna get hurt physically. I mean, you live out there.

[John Kelly]

I mean, not permanently.

[Paul]

That's the best parenting advice ever. You don't want to get hurt permanently. I love that. When you go for a daily run, what do you go? Distance or do you go time?

[John Kelly]

Mainly distance, but you know, I don't go as far as everyone assumes I would. I really don't train more than a serious marathon runner would.

[Paul]

More than a serious marathoner. Well, that seems like a lot. So you're doing multi. I mean 5 miles, 10 miles?

[John Kelly]

Yeah. 5, 10 ish.

[Paul]

You ever run on a treadmill?

[John Kelly]

I do. I hate it.

[Paul]

You hate it.

[John Kelly]

But I did start doing. I got a bike trainer recently and started doing this Zwift thing with the virtual kind of video game thing. That's fun.

[Paul]

You like it?

[John Kelly]

Enjoy that. Yeah.

[Paul]

Can you bring anything on your persons during this race?

[John Kelly]

I mean, other than electronic devices? Yeah, I mean, like you can bring.

[Paul]

Some toilet paper if you felt like it. Do people do that?

[John Kelly]

Yeah.

[Paul]

How many times do you go to the bathroom? And when I say go to the bathroom, I'm not talking about urine during this two and a half days.

[John Kelly]

This time probably a couple Times it's, you know, one of. One of the secrets of my first finish, it was zero. None.

[Daniel Tosh]

The zero.

[Paul]

Poop run.

[John Kelly]

Yeah.

[Paul]

You held it the whole two and a half days?

[John Kelly]

I just. I just didn't. Didn't need it, I guess. I was. I was mostly on liquid calories. And it never had the urge.

[Paul]

And then what do you do? Do you just go, yeah, find a.

[John Kelly]

Nice spot in the woods somewhere. Or hold it for between loops when you can actually have the luxury of a nice bathhouse and toilet.

[Paul]

The year that you quit, stopped, whatever, after two laps because you knew what was going to come ahead. Talk about the things that come ahead. Your mind playing tricks on you?

[John Kelly]

Yeah. The worst for me, everyone kind of has their own strengths and weaknesses. And the worst for me is dealing with sleep deprivation. Like, some people hallucinate. Some people just can't think straight. I will straight up, you know, I'll fall asleep on my feet and go down harder than the bad guy in a Rocky movie. I just cannot stay awake. And so that's the point where, for me, it still gets pretty miserable.

[Paul]

So how long do you get to sleep after each loop?

[John Kelly]

Generally none. This past year, I was the only one of the finishers that slept. And I went back to my campsite between loops four and five and slept for like 20 minutes. And that let people get out in the directions they wanted to go. And then I was on my way.

[Paul]

Two and a half days. And you had a 20 minute nap.

[John Kelly]

Yeah.

[Paul]

And, I mean, do you realize what we're talking about here? Guys? You understand why I was so passionate about this? Yeah, this is just nuts. I can't make it past lunch without needing an hour nap. And then I need one hour to recover.

[John Kelly]

But have you ever really tried to not nap? Have you ever had that motivation to just see if you could push through it? Well, not running, I think you could do it.

[Paul]

What are you talking. No, I'm not cut out for this. I don't like running. Every step is awful.

[John Kelly]

That's fine. And, you know, but any of these things, you build up to them and, you know, starting running. If you told me I was gonna finish Barkley or do half the things I've done, I would have said you were absolutely nuts and crazy.

[Paul]

I've ran about four times this year. Cause I was like, oh, I need to lose some weight. And you can't cheat running. So I'm like, I'll just start running. Every day that I ran, I, like, spent the next three weeks just telling everybody that I Went running.

[John Kelly]

But you know, again, I think you could do a lot more than you think you could. Maybe you couldn't build up to finishing. Like I'll never build up to dunking a basketball or running a 10 second 100 meter dash.

[Paul]

Have you seen that current dunk champion? He's a short white kid.

[John Kelly]

That's true.

[Paul]

And he out of Philly can just fly.

[John Kelly]

I can't even palm my kids like toy basketballs. So it's not happening.

[Paul]

All right.

[John Kelly]

But you know, I could do better than I think I could. And you know, maybe you could do a loop at Barkley, who knows?

[Paul]

Well, I would, but the problem is I won't be able to get in. My strong suit would be the essay. I probably could pull that part off. But I just want him to know that I only want to try one lap and that's not going to interest him. He's not going to. Well, you're not taking it seriously.

[John Kelly]

So there's people that try to get in every year as the virgin sacrifice, the number one bib. But you know, those are people that are still serious runners but just have no chance. And he kind of. No one has ever gotten in by volunteering to be that person.

[Paul]

Yeah, it's not gonna, I'm not, I mean, no part of me would take it seriously. How easy is it to get lost on these races? Like how do you figure out where you have to go?

[John Kelly]

Most races you do actually have a GPS and a route that you load it into your watch or your phone. The Barclay you do not. You just have a map and compass. But also at Barkley it's in a fairly confined area. So if you wander off in the same direction too much, you're, you're going to hit a road at some point. And people have certainly done that and had to kind of hitch, hitchhike back to the start finish.

[Paul]

Can you cheat and get to the book a shorter way?

[John Kelly]

They are laid out to where the course is pretty much self penalizing. Like if you don't go the correct way, you're losing time from it. Now as far as if you can kind of do the books in a different order and get a shortcut that way it is theoretically possible. But it's pretty well self policed out there because people are going to notice like, hey, how did you get ahead of me?

[Paul]

And you guys are so, you care so much. It's like, why are you, who are you cheating? You know. Nah, that's my instinct is like how do you cheat to finish this? Do you ever practice there actually at that mountain off season.

[John Kelly]

So you're actually not allowed to go off trail at the park other than during the race.

[Paul]

What a strict park.

[John Kelly]

Well, part of it's to protect some kind of some native species that are growing, prevent poachers from coming in. And there's also open mineshafts from like decades ago that you could just fall into. But there is an on trail 20 mile loop around the park that you can go run.

[Paul]

Do you ever run that one?

[John Kelly]

Oh, yeah, all the time.

[Paul]

Is the terrain capable of continuing to get hard enough? Yeah, they could change things and make things way worse.

[John Kelly]

Yeah, it's. It's definitely gotten to the point where it's converging on what is really possible. I mean if there are other huge improvements in gear, I mean, what other gear besides shoes? That's one of the things I love about the race, is it the course keeps getting harder to try to keep it right at that edge where like 1% can finish. And a lot of that is in response to gear improvements over the years. You know, in road running we have this big debate about super shoes. If super shoes were a thing at Barclay, the course would just get harder and that would solve that problem. Back when this race started, the course was easier, but people were seriously out with carbide mining lamps on their head because their other choice was those giant mag lights with the 4D cell batteries that would last for like five minutes. We now have running vests, great shoes, LED headlamps, running, nutrition training and knowledge is good. So I don't know how many we're hitting diminishing.

[Paul]

You might be able to get like a shirt that changes temperature to keep your body the same temperature at all times.

[John Kelly]

Maybe that. But you know, again he can start coming from the other direction and eliminating some of that stuff. Like there's no gps, you can't listen to music, there's no altimeters. So do you like to listen to.

[Paul]

Music when you run?

[John Kelly]

I don't. It's kind of like my one time of day when I don't have to think about anything and I can kind of just let my mind wander on whatever.

[Paul]

Supposed to listen to your body? Yeah, I don't know. That's what people say.

[John Kelly]

Or nature take in nature do every year.

[Paul]

Do you have a talk with your wife like hey, I'm going to race it this year or does she just know that you probably will now?

[John Kelly]

It's pretty much a default after that first year. Like that first year was going to be a One and done. Sort of like my first marathon. Okay. And so that was a conversation going into the second year. But at this point, the way I approach it has changed a lot. I know how to train efficiently to where it's not a disruption and it's not this obsessive, unhealthy, all consuming thing. It's really just going out and having fun in the woods with my friends.

[Paul]

But you have a job, like, you're not, you're this. It's not like you're like one of the best in the world, if not the best. You're in the conversation. Right.

[John Kelly]

Is that fair Within a tiny niche? Within a niche, you know, ultra running as a whole? No, definitely not.

[Paul]

Okay.

[John Kelly]

But with elevation type of race, like.

[Paul]

People would say, I don't know if they would say this because it's so niche that it's like, well, if more people knew about this and cared about it and there was money into it, then there would be these athletes that could do it. But I feel like the only the people that can do this do this already. I don't think. There's not like, it's not like LeBron James could be like, oh, I'll do this. He would die.

[John Kelly]

Yeah. There are certainly some people out there that I would love to see do it whenever they have the desire, just so they feel it. Yeah, well, to see what they could do. But, you know, a big piece of this is having to have that desire and that little bit of crazy in your head to go after it. And if they don't have that, then, no, they're not going to finish.

[Paul]

Do you genuinely enjoy these races?

[John Kelly]

I do now. And you know, Barclay, like, I kind of had this where I was over focused and obsessed with it and then dropped off to where no, I just didn't care enough. And now it's just this. I genuinely enjoy doing it. Even in the moment, other than when I'm trying to stay awake and I have no stress, I have no pressure of trying to finish. It's just an adventure out in the woods.

[Paul]

Do you feel like you've accomplished, like amazing things?

[John Kelly]

Yeah, yeah, I've done pretty well, you know, but that's not to say I don't still have goals. And that's one thing that the first time I finished Barkley, I was kind of like, well, what do I do now? I never want to get to the that spot where I'm like, oh, I've done, done good things. Nothing left to do.

[Paul]

That's literally my goal in life is to get to a place where I'm like, I'm done.

[John Kelly]

I mean, getting there with my job and getting there financially would be fantastic.

[Paul]

That's where you got hosed. You were cursed with being amazing at something that a lot of people don't care about. That's a rough one of this type of race. Is this the one that people care the most about or how many are there throughout the world?

[John Kelly]

Barclay is pretty unique. It's definitely a niche within the niche of ultra running. There are other multi day events like Tour de Gian is one that I've done quite a bit, which is in Italy and I haven't been successful at it yet. It is one of the more well known ones.

[Paul]

At what age will you stop doing ultra marathons and go back to regular old marathons like some pussy?

[John Kelly]

Well, I mean, the thing is, the longer it gets, the more well suited it is for old age. So, you know, if anything might go the opposite direction.

[Paul]

What about the joints and the knees? Everything on your body good?

[John Kelly]

Yeah, they're good. And I think that's kind of my biggest superpower as an ultra runner is I've managed to not have any major injuries the whole time I've been doing it. I fell off a ladder six weeks before Barkley last year and went in and did it. I just. I haven't had anything that's kept me sidelined for a while.

[Paul]

Eddie fell off a step stool. Can't do anything for four months.

[John Kelly]

You know, if you catch things wrong, it can happen. I was fortunate. I bruised my ribs and broke my wrist.

[Paul]

How high up were you?

[John Kelly]

I was about 20ft.

[Daniel Tosh]

20Ft.

[Paul]

You hear that step stool?

[John Kelly]

You can drown in his head. He planted on asphalt.

[Paul]

He was up 20ft on asphalt. Ran the Barkley Marathon six weeks later. Unbelievable.

[Eddie]

He's way lighter than me.

[Paul]

Yeah, yeah.

[John Kelly]

Just kind of bounced.

[Paul]

He bounced. Everybody that's on the show, I give them gifts, but it's all, you know, just so you know, it's just stuff around my house that I don't want anymore. These companies have been sending me a bunch of socks. I didn't like them, but I feel like they're probably not good. There's some bombas in there. There's some elements.

[Daniel Tosh]

I just wanted you to have some.

[Paul]

Fresh socks for your toes.

[John Kelly]

Well, thank you. That's handy.

[Paul]

The other day a person was just throw it on the floor was on the show and I gave them old tosh0 merch and I was like, get rid of this. Then I found another box of tosh Zero merch in my garage. I'm like, son of a bitch. So now you need extra T shirts for running and stuff like that. There might be sweatshirts in here. I don't. Who knows? You wear a new shirt, then you send it to Goodwill.

[John Kelly]

My wife and I used to love the show back when I was in grad school.

[Paul]

There you go. Now you. You're gonna want all those shirts. I can't stop giving you stuff. This. These are fun. These for your kids. Since you have twins, you always have to have two of everything.

[John Kelly]

Okay.

[Daniel Tosh]

This is.

[Paul]

These things are like electric boards. They go so fast. Now, the joke with these, I got a couple. I always get two. Hold on.

[John Kelly]

This is gonna be interesting. Getting back on.

[Paul]

No, no. I'll ship everything.

[John Kelly]

Okay.

[Paul]

I always think it's funny. My brother has twins. I always think it's funny to order him things and just have it sent to his house. And then he just calls me, furious. He's like, what did you buy? What are these things? They're dangerous. They're too fast. But anyway, he. Last time he came, thought it was funny, threw him back in my garage. And I'm like, oh, well played, buddy. But now I'm like, your kids will like these. They're barely used.

[Daniel Tosh]

We got charges.

[John Kelly]

They're heavy.

[Paul]

Yeah, they got real batteries in there. You're gonna have trouble with those. You'll like them. Thank you for getting that off the table. I also got your kids. I always have these. Tosh point zero. Not Tosh zero. These are from tours. Standup tours.

[John Kelly]

Oh, wow.

[Daniel Tosh]

Skateboards.

[Paul]

Just because I want your kids, I want to make sure your kids get into something that's cooler than running.

[John Kelly]

There is a skate park right below our house.

[Daniel Tosh]

Great. They gotta give them some skateboards.

[John Kelly]

And this is the perfect kind of thing where they can get hurt, but not permanently, right?

[Paul]

Well, you can get permanently hurt on skateboard, but whatever those things are. Probably not even good skateboards, but at least they can have fun with that.

[John Kelly]

Was that a cause I was aware of?

[Paul]

Oh, no. What is this?

[John Kelly]

Of what you do here? What is this?

[Paul]

Hold on. What is this?

[John Kelly]

I brought my own handbag.

[Paul]

What kind of bag is this? Is this a running bag?

[John Kelly]

It is. It's a running vest. But they're kind of like Santa's sandwich.

[Paul]

Do you run with those weights ever?

[John Kelly]

No.

[Paul]

When I see people walking around my neighborhood with that, I'm like, just walk longer.

[John Kelly]

No, I've never done that.

[Paul]

One of my friends put one on his dog, like, to burn off energy and the vet's like, hey, you're killing your dog's hips.

[John Kelly]

So my own set of hand me downs here.

[Paul]

Oh, look at you. Tit for tat. Here we go.

[John Kelly]

I've got my own Italian designer running shirts here.

[Paul]

Uh huh.

[John Kelly]

Oh, you know, you're probably taller than me, so I don't know how those are gonna work.

[Paul]

Doesn't matter. I like jogging in the mid drift.

[John Kelly]

The things that you can fit in these bags I got, you know, for your kids here.

[Paul]

What is this?

[John Kelly]

Got eevee.

[Paul]

Oh, is this a Pokemon? Yeah, my son is into it.

[John Kelly]

Got a dress for your daughter.

[Paul]

I'll take it. Look at this dress.

[Daniel Tosh]

You watch.

[Paul]

You watch. I'll send you a photo of her in this immediately. That's adorable.

[John Kelly]

Here's the bet. Actually.

[Paul]

Look at you.

[John Kelly]

I didn't even know this was in here. This is.

[Paul]

I don't want whatever that is.

[John Kelly]

Limited edition. Just hold on to it. And limited money to sell it on ebay in a few years.

[Paul]

What is it?

[John Kelly]

That's some of the liquid nutrition for running.

[Paul]

That's so disgusting.

[John Kelly]

Chocolate mint.

[Paul]

I gotta taste this. Just, just. Do you mind if I taste this?

[John Kelly]

It's a powder, so you gotta mix it into your drink.

[Daniel Tosh]

Yeah, I was just gonna pour it out.

[John Kelly]

No, that wouldn't end well.

[Paul]

I don't even know that.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Coughing.

[Paul]

So you mix this into your drink and then that's your meal for the night.

[John Kelly]

Yeah. Yeah, it's probably half my calories.

[Paul]

You want me to get this off my desk?

[John Kelly]

No, it's fine.

[Paul]

Okay.

[John Kelly]

I don't know if we fully so the pages. So there are books along the course and you have to rip out your page from each book.

[Paul]

What's your page? What's your page?

[John Kelly]

So you have a bib number for each loop. And so whatever your bib number is, you have to rip out that number page from the book to prove that you followed the course. And so here is your very own page from an actual Barclay book in 2019, the year that I gave up. I thought you would appreciate that.

[Paul]

Year Loop two. This is probably my second favorite gift that I've ever received on this show. First it was a hat that I liked. What's his name?

[John Kelly]

That's fair.

[Paul]

But this, this right here, has he ever. Is there any significance in what book he puts out there every year?

[John Kelly]

Usually anywhere from 12 to 15 books per loop. And they all have sort of mocking titles like this one I think is Lost Souls. And you know you'll have all sorts them that kind of Poke fun at the people out there.

[Paul]

I mean, the importance of page 67 to you. Or were you 68?

[John Kelly]

I was 6. It's all odd numbers. There are only odd number bibs because if you had someone that was 67 and another person that was 67, well.

[Paul]

I mean, you could still. You could space them out. It was only 40 people.

[John Kelly]

Well, yeah, well, but multiply times each loop. So generally my.

[Paul]

Oh, they're not putting different books out for each loop.

[John Kelly]

No. So, like, you know, your bib one, your loop one bib might be 37, and then your loop two bib, like 79.

[Paul]

And why can some people. One loop, everybody finds the book and then loop four, nobody can find the books missing. Has that happened or.

[John Kelly]

No, There have been a couple times where. Yeah. Books gone missing, but most of the time it's just. By that point in time, your mind is not thinking very clearly. You might be going in the opposite. No, you can have this, too. I don't.

[Paul]

Has this been used?

[John Kelly]

Yeah, it has, but I washed it. It's been washed.

[Paul]

Have you drank out of this?

[John Kelly]

Those have been washed as well.

[Paul]

Oh, that's disgusting, man. There's no world where I'm putting my mouth on that, ever. I'd rather just dehydrate. Has he ever used the Bible?

[John Kelly]

No. No, not to my knowledge. None of the years that I've done it.

[Paul]

I bet you there'd be people just boycotting the race. You can't rip these pages out. And the importance that you were just that right there. Isn't that silly? How much has he changed the race from the very first time he had it to what it is now things, the book, the odd pages. But that was from year one.

[John Kelly]

Yeah, that's all there from the beginning, but yeah.

[Paul]

Did you ever read this page?

[John Kelly]

No, I haven't.

[Paul]

It's kind of like a little romance novel of sorts. There's some kissing going on in this page with Christy. Do you get anything at the end? Do they give you anything?

[Daniel Tosh]

You get a ribbon.

[John Kelly]

So the joke is that the award for finishing is that you don't have to do another loop, which, you know, it's nice in the moment.

[Paul]

There's no plaques. There's nothing. Is your name.

[John Kelly]

No, I made my own plaque. I took all the first finish I had. I took all of my pages and made kind of a little picture frame collage of all the pages.

[Paul]

After the race, do you guys all go out to a restaurant together or a party? Does he throw a barbecue for everybody?

[John Kelly]

No, we oftentimes will we'll pick a local restaurant and go there for dinner or breakfast, some of us. But no, but pretty much Gary included is kind of exhausted and, you know, he's old and smoking the whole time and not sleeping and so, yeah, he's done.

[Paul]

And how quick after a race do you catch yourself in normal life where you're like, you know, you're playing with your kid or you're doing something that you don't want to be doing with them and you're like, you know what I was doing a day and a half ago?

[Daniel Tosh]

Or is that like.

[Paul]

Or do you give yourself a week to decompress?

[John Kelly]

Yeah, I mean, that's the other thing. I've basically just put my life on pause for a few days. So I have to try to catch back up on things with work and family and everything else that's going on. So there's not a big kind of just crash and do nothing for a week. Like people might, right?

[Paul]

Like, it's not like winning the NBA championship where like, oh, okay, now I get to take a month off and just lay in Italy.

[John Kelly]

I do have a week where, you know, there's, there's no running and I eat absolutely everything, which I love, but.

[Paul]

And do you enjoy a week of not running?

[John Kelly]

Yeah, I do. Yes, I do.

[Paul]

You could enjoy that. That's one thing every week.

[John Kelly]

I've never understood people going into these races. You have a taper generally where you, you decrease your training right before the race so you go unrested and a lot of people hate the taper. And I'm always just like, wow, this is, this is awesome. You know, I enjoy having that bit of downtime and bit of rest and relaxation I like.

[Paul]

I mean, I was just letting you know you could extend that. Instead of a week, you could make it, you know, I don't know, a lifetime.

[John Kelly]

You gotta have the balance.

[Paul]

Oh, well, John, thank you very much for taking some time out and sitting down. You know, good luck to you.

[John Kelly]

Thanks very much.

[Paul]

Appreciate it.

[John Kelly]

Enjoyed it.

[Paul]

Thank you.

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[Ryan Seacrest]

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[Daniel Tosh]

Paul what did you think of that, Carl? John it's impressive. Now. Hey, I want to say something. I thought this was a funny bit on the show where I give stuff away, but now too many guests are bringing me things and I need it to stop now. John I want to say that giving me that page that I love the other stuff, I don't want it. I don't want other guests to be like, oh, he brought, I watched this, he brought something. I don't want your stuff, guys. Do you take my shit? It just defeats the entire purpose. The best gift you could ever give me is nothing at all. I don't want to hold anything. I don't want to look at it. I don't want to respond. Just stop. Thank you but no thank you. All right, let's do some plugs Carl, where did you go?

[Eddie]

There he is.

[Daniel Tosh]

Come on, man, we're still doing a show. You only have to do the last act of every episode, and you act like I'm torturing you. Show some enthusiasm. There you go. Let's go. Let's do this right. All right. Let's do the plugs. Boyswearpink.com toshowstore.com There you go. Put your head right back down. Eddiegosling.com, check out his tour dates. Hey, Eddie, I heard you're going to work in Key west coming up.

[Eddie]

Yeah, Key west, second or third week of January. January 2023.

[Daniel Tosh]

Oh, look at that. I love the Keys.

[Eddie]

Never been.

[Daniel Tosh]

You've never been to the Keys?

[Paul]

Nope.

[Daniel Tosh]

Man, are you gonna fly into Key West?

[Eddie]

I guess so. Where would I go? I mean, maybe Miami.

[Daniel Tosh]

A lot of people fly into Miami and do the drive, but then they realize, oh, shit, that drives two and a half hours.

[Eddie]

Oh, yeah. Then maybe I gotta figure that out.

[Daniel Tosh]

You can also swim in from Cuba, huh?

[Eddie]

Yeah, I'll fly into Cuba and then swim across. Yeah, I like that.

[Daniel Tosh]

That. That's kind of the cool way to get in. Anyway, what was I.

[Paul]

What was I talking.

[Daniel Tosh]

Oh, and then our tour. And check out our tour. Oh. Danieltosh.com okay, best part of the show, Free plug. What struggling business? What mom and pop company or fundraiser are we gonna help out this week? I love that music. By the way, this week's free plug is for Taylor Swift. She's performing in Vancouver, Canada, at BC Place, December 6th through the 8th as the final show of the Heirs tour. Tickets are still available, starting as low as $1,500. Is that us? Yes, that's us. $1,500. That's before fees. You're looking closer to 1900. That said, and I don't know this to be true, they are by no means a sponsor of this free plug. Full disclosure, but you might still be able to use our seat geek code. I don't know. I don't know if that's still a thing, but. Doesn't matter. Pay full price. It's just a good show. Taylor Swift, the Heiress Tour. Is there somebody opening for her? Is that Gracie Abrams opening for her?

[John Kelly]

She is.

[Daniel Tosh]

She is great. She's wonderful. Little Nepo baby, right? Yeah, that's all right. And she was taught by my kids. Music teacher.

[Eddie]

Music.

[Daniel Tosh]

That's interesting. It all ties together. Guys, I think that does it.

[Paul]

Carl.

[Daniel Tosh]

Until next week. I'm the captain now.

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[Ryan Seacrest]

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