My Winter Olympics Coverage

Summary

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Tosh Show Podcast Summary

Episode: "My Winter Olympics Coverage"

Date: February 17, 2026
Host: Daniel Tosh
Guests/Co-Hosts: Eddie, John, others

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Episode Overview

In this episode, Daniel Tosh dives into the spectacle of the Winter Olympics with his signature irreverence, dissecting not only the events themselves but also the absurdities, pageantry, and politics surrounding them. Along the way, Tosh riffs on the recent Super Bowl, discusses national identity in sports, mocks ceremonial excess, and sketches out some hilarious alternatives for Olympic events. Familiar panel banter and digressions into personal stories bring both comedy and social observation to Tosh’s Olympic “coverage.”

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Main Discussion Points & Insights

1. Winter Olympics – A Comedy Goldmine

• Tosh’s Opening Sentiment:
  Tosh starts by questioning the financial sustainability of the Winter Olympics and jokes about only caring for four events. He sets the tone by highlighting the games’ ridiculousness and his own affection for watching them, “Does anybody even care about the Winter Olympics? Probably not. But guess who does? I do. I love the Winter Olympics.” (09:35)
• The Super Bowl vs. The Olympics:
  Tosh compares the cultural weight of the Super Bowl and the Olympics, pointing out both’s tough competition for viewers and managing to slide in plenty of anti-Patriots/Dolphins fan humor.

2. Super Bowl Recap & Cultural Satire

• Super Bowl Riff:
  Tosh and the crew fixate on what a “dud” the Super Bowl was (03:06), delighting in a gambling win against the Patriots. He voices confusion and apathy about pop performances like Bad Bunny’s halftime show, noting, “Did I understand it? No... I can never comprehend what people are saying, regardless of the language.” (03:41)
• Memorable Satirical Imagining:
  Tosh tears into the idea of the perfect halftime:
  “Had Bad Bunny at some point in his performance... just said, ‘Trump certified. Lover boy certified.’ And had the whole stadium scream ‘pedophile,’ I would have lost my mind. That would have gone down as the greatest ever. Release the files!” (04:26)

3. Olympics Ceremony & American Identity

• Opening Ceremony Observations:
  The over-the-top nature of the event is lampooned, especially Mariah Carey’s static, “hillbilly-vanilli” performance (“I don't know if she weighs 400 pounds or 100 pounds – I can't tell anymore.” (16:04)).
• Political Tension:
  Special attention to the booing of Vice President J.D. Vance, along with a darkly hilarious comparison: “Hitler, 1936. Hitler wasn't even booed at the Games. People are like, you know, we let Hitler slide, but we're not going to let this fucking asshole. Never again. Yeah, fool us once.” (16:55)

4. Olympic Sports: Absurd or Athletic?

• Questioning Validity of Events:
  Tosh expresses skepticism and fascination regarding events like skeleton, luge, and bobsled: “We're just watching people go down a slide. This is a ride at an amusement park at best.” (19:29)
• Suggestion for New Events:
  He coins “the real Olympic event”—making it to the mountain bathroom in time during a norovirus outbreak (31:13), and fantasizes about “tubing” and “wing suiting” as future Olympic events.
• On Dangerous Sports:
  Tosh admits he watches for crashes: “I try to have my son focus on the remarkable accomplishments of these athletes, but inevitably we're both just going, ‘Oh, I hope they crash...’ That’s not nice. These are kids. But yet we want to see them bounce.” (18:52)

5. Nationalism, Identity, and Sports

• Playing for Other Countries:
  Tosh reflects on athletes competing for nations they have little connection with:
  “Does it bother you when these athletes play for other countries? It doesn't bother me. Because the reality is we all know where most of them get trained and grew up.” (27:29)
• Olympics for the Rich?
  Raises class gatekeeping in expensive sports like skiing and jokes about the Olympics being a rich kid’s club, questioning why pro athletes even compete: “The Olympics should be for poor kids. And I don't like old people in the Games.” (34:24)
• Financial Cap Suggestion:
  “If you make over $100,000 a year doing your sport, you don't get to be in the Olympics.” (34:20)

6. Media Coverage & Streaming Rants

• Complaints about Peacock Coverage:
  Tosh is frustrated with late wrap-ups and commercials on non-premium streaming: “I like the wrap up at the end of the day, but the problem with the wrap up at the end of the day, it starts at 8 o'clock local time... That’s too late.” (17:47)

7. Personal Anecdotes, Crowd-Banter & Olympics Memories

• Digs at Church Ski Trips:
  Memorable story of dangerous, ad hoc bus rides and awkward baptisms in hotel pools:
  “The humiliating thing was, there’s people swimming laps and having fun on the other side and then here is this weird cult climbing into the pool with their clothes on.” (23:21)
• Gamesmanship:
  Tosh describes timing his wife on ski runs, the embarrassment of falling early in an event, and the economics of a family flying out for a 7-second performance.

8. Olympic Gossip and Event Funnies

• Bronze Medal “Confessionals”:
  “My favorite moment so far is that Norwegian that got bronze that just started fessing about cheating on his girlfriend. That should be a new rule. If you win bronze, you have to fess up to something you’ve done.” (32:24)

9. Valentine’s Day Digression (37:01 onward)

• The group shares low-key stories about Valentine’s Day, with Tosh cheekily probing for awkward details about romance, traditions, and pressure to perform on the holiday.

10. Listener Voicemails & Dating Show Parody

• Tosh plays voicemails from listeners pitching themselves as potential dates for show regulars, humorously mocking their efforts and the idea of his show as a dating program:
  “The guy sounds like he was actually on the Bachelor giving one of those awkward speeches... Not appropriate.” (42:02)
• A much more plausible (and detailed) pitch from “Andrew” is warmly received: “Aloha, Andrew. Winner. That guy seems great.” (43:38)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the Halftime Show:
  “Had Bad Bunny at some point in his performance just said, ‘Trump certified. Lover boy certified.’ And had the whole stadium scream ‘pedophile,’ I would have lost my mind. That would have gone down as the greatest ever. Release the files.” – Tosh (04:26)

• Olympics vs World Politics:
  “Hitler, 1936. Hitler wasn't even booed at the Games. People are like, you know, we let Hitler slide, but we're not going to let this fucking asshole. Never again.” – Tosh (16:55)

• On Olympic Sports Selection:
  “We're just watching people go down a slide. This is a ride at an amusement park at best... Their gold medals should be different... They're chocolate. They're wrapped in gold. But you open it up and it's just chocolate again. You were on a ride.” – Tosh (19:29, 21:01)

• On Ski Trips with Church Groups:
  “There's like platforms that went all... so there's just like layers of kids laying everywhere. Has to be the most dangerous thing in the world. More dangerous than the skeleton, I'm guessing.” – Tosh (22:33)

• On Athletes Competing for Other Countries:
  “Does it bother you when these athletes play for other countries? It doesn't bother me. Because the reality is we all know where most of them get trained and grew up.” – Tosh (27:29)

• On Olympic Elitism:
  “The Olympics should be for poor kids. And I don't like old people in the Games... If you make over $100,000 a year doing your sport, you don't get to be in the Olympics.” – Tosh (34:20, 34:24)

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Key Timestamps

• 01:40 – Tosh begins speculation on paring down the Winter Olympics to four essential events.
• 03:06 – Super Bowl as a “dud” and Tosh’s gambling angle.
• 04:26 – Tosh imagines his ideal, chaotic halftime show.
• 16:55 – Tosh comments on J.D. Vance being booed and references Hitler in 1936 for comic effect.
• 19:29 – Riff on “amusement park ride” events (skeleton, luge, bobsled), need for chocolate medals.
• 23:21 – Awkward hotel pool baptism story.
• 27:29 – On national allegiance and rooting for countries.
• 31:13 – Proposes the “get to the mountain bathroom” event.
• 32:24 – On bronze-medalist confessions (cheating on girlfriend).
• 34:20 – Proposed financial and age cap on Olympic eligibility.
• 37:01 – 39:40 – Group Valentine’s Day anecdotes.
• 41:32 – 43:38 – Listener dating voicemails, Andrew’s winning pitch.

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Tone & Style

Tosh and his rotating panel are as loose and irreverent as ever: mixing absurd hypotheticals, gross-out humor, radical honesty, and a uniquely American take on global spectacle. The conversation is fast, frequently switches topics, and relishes poking at sacred cows in both sports and society.

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For New Listeners

This recap covers the entire comedic heart of the episode, from Olympics lampoonery to real talk on the politics and logistics of sport, personal stories, and a few left turns into relationships and show business. It’s a blend of sharp satire, personal confession, and random social commentary—ideal for fans of Tosh’s unabashed style.

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End of Summary.

Transcript

[Tosh]

I'm gonna pull over and ask that man for directions.

[John]

Hi there.

[Tosh]

We're looking to get to the campground. Well, you're gonna take a left at the old oak tree end of this here road.

[John]

No, I'm just kidding.

[Tosh]

Let me get my phone out. How are you getting a signal out here? T Mobile and US Cellular decided to merge. So the network out here is huge.

[John]

We're getting the same great signal as.

[Tosh]

The city and saving a boatload with all the benefits. Oh, and a five year price guarantee. Okay, here's those directions. Actually, can you point us in the.

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[Tosh]

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[Eddie]

Tighten it up.

[John]

Let's hear them.

[Tosh]

Well, I. I wasn't prepared for that. Posh show. Posh show, Posh show for show. Welcome to Toss show. Birdman's here. How's everybody doing?

[John]

Great.

[Eddie]

Pretty good.

[Tosh]

Probably wondering why I'm dressed like this.

[Eddie]

Yeah. What's going on?

[Tosh]

Winter Olympics.

[Eddie]

Okay.

[Tosh]

Winter Olympics. Got my beanie on. Winter Olympics. Got my German soccer jersey on. You know, I was born in Germany, right? So I could technically play under their flag. And people have told me when I complain about America. Well, why don't you just leave? I'm thinking about it. I doubt I'll act on it.

[John]

Where are you going?

[Tosh]

Not Germany.

[John]

That's what I thought.

[Tosh]

I'd rather live in Wisconsin, and I don't want to live in Wisconsin.

[Eddie]

We'd rather live in Wisconsin.

[Tosh]

Yeah. Than Germany. No, thank you. No offense, Germany. Listen, you created me. I was born from your soil, Right. But now I don't want to live there. You know, the Olympics. Tough competition this year. You know, you go up against the super bowl, the NBA All Star Game, it's just. It's a lot. It's a lot to go. And before we get into the Olympics, let's talk the super bowl for a second, because what a dud it was.

[Eddie]

Sure.

[Tosh]

I mean, as far as I enjoy. Oh, small throw up. Small throw up. Okay.

[Eddie]

How bad the game was?

[Tosh]

The game was bad. It made me sick. No, I enjoyed the game because I hate the Patriots. And I teased the line to 13 and a half to bet Seattle to cover that. So I won handsomely. But. But I did a homer bet. I, I. As a Dolphin fan, I bet against the Patriots, and I bet that it was going to be a blowout. So I, you know, I won. I won pretty good.

[Eddie]

Yep.

[Tosh]

Did you enjoy the halftime show, Eddie?

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Tosh]

Did I understand it?

[Eddie]

No.

[Tosh]

But I like. Oh, I don't. I don't need. I don't need the extra. I don't need that. I didn't understand. I don't understand any song when someone say, unless it's fucking dumb country music, where they're like, I went down to the dance and I saw my wife dancing with Cleo, and I was like, that's wrong. And now I have to drink beer. You know, those are the only songs I actually understand, and I hate those songs. I can never comprehend what people are saying, regardless of the language. But did I like Bad Bunny's performance? Sure. Was it my favorite super bowl performance? No. I mean, that's still. That still goes to my boy Kendrick. Now, had Bad Bunny at some point in his performance, like, broke from the Spanish just for. For one second and just said, trump certified. Lover boy certified. And had the whole stadium scream pedophile, I would have lost my mind. That would have gone down as the greatest ever. Release the files. Okay. Release the files. That would have been a good halftime show.

[John]

Just wheel out all these.

[Tosh]

Just bringing out all the files on Epstein, and let's go through them.

[John]

Yeah. Line by line.

[Tosh]

What a fun super bowl halftime surprise.

[Eddie]

Yes.

[Tosh]

If somebody just carts out all the Epstein files and goes, here you guys go. Let's start thumbing through these. You Know the people who are outraged about Bad Bunny. If Pavarotti would have sang, we all would have been like, oh, my goodness. That's the most beautiful thing in the world. Yeah. None of us speak Italian. We love it. We'd love it. As long as he doesn't touch his penis. I didn't even notice that there was a ton of crotch grabbing. That's how little I pay attention to stuff.

[Eddie]

It just doesn't register.

[Tosh]

I want to say one more thing about Bad Bunny's halftime show. The Ricky Martin cameo. How good did he look? And if he would have belted out Ole ole olay on the doi, I would have been like, yes. I mean, this guy was, Was, was on top of the world. And because he was, you know, in the closet and outed like his career ended, I don't get it. He should still be, is he not? Maybe he is and I don't know it. He should still be performing constantly. Why put out a new album? Ricky, let's go. The world needs you. This idea that we have to speak English is so funny. When I lived in South Beach, Miami, in the 90s, I was pulled over by a police officer that didn't speak English. I mean, now, this could be revisionist history, but he chose not to speak English.

[Eddie]

Okay.

[Tosh]

And, you know, he was just. He was giving me a hard time, but that's it. I lived in South Beach. I knew where I was. Everybody spoke Spanish. I didn't. I'm sure he was saying some nasty stuff to me. I still respected, you know, what he did. I know how get out of my country. I don't respect the badge. I respect the gun. I'm not. I don't even respect the gun. I'm just scared of it.

[Eddie]

Exactly.

[Tosh]

I'm also scared of the taser. And to be honest with you, I'm scared of if they have one of those batons. I don't want to get hit with that either. I'm also scared of the pen. I don't want them to write me a ticket. I get scared pretty easily, truth be told.

[John]

Yeah. Insurance premiums going up.

[Tosh]

Oh, I don't want my insurance to go up. I. You know what else? I don't. I really don't want to take a class. That's the worst. And I know you're saying, well, now you can do it online. And don't you have people at your business management account that do it for you?

[Eddie]

Yeah, of course, but, I mean, why hassle them?

[Tosh]

But I'm sure that they don't Want to do it for you. Anyway, to whoever that cop was that pulled me over in the mid-90s in South beach that chose not to speak English, I want you to know that we welcome you. Anybody that speaks out about ICE or their current tactics. You just. You're like, oh, my goodness. They're so unpatriotic. They shouldn't live in our country. Don't call 911 if somebody breaks in your house. Why? Why wouldn't I call 911 if I had an emergency? Because I don't like the current tactics of ice. Is ICE going to show up to my house if somebody comes to my house with a mask on? If I call 911 because my kid is choking on something, I might be like, hey, I'm not going to let in this person. Just let my kid choke out, I guess.

[Eddie]

Sorry, buddy.

[Tosh]

Seems like the lesser of two evils. Isn't it funny though, that they wear a mask, yet these are the people that refuse to wear a mask during COVID Yep. I mean, what side of the fence are you on, boys?

[John]

Not enough data.

[Tosh]

Do people understand how this country works? You're allowed to shit on the country constantly and you can stay in the country, right? Yeah, we're a nation of complainers. Just because I don't like this dipshit president. Oh, then you should leave. What? I'm not leaving. I like my restaurants.

[Eddie]

It's like I like where I live. Except for this guy.

[Tosh]

Yeah. Doesn't really affect me.

[John]

I like my restaurant.

[Tosh]

Well, yeah, well. So fine. The super bowl was. It was. It was a garbage game. Congratulations, Seattle. And Sam Darnold. Who would have thought, cursed with the name Darnold, that you would become a Super bowl winning quarterback?

[Eddie]

Samuel Darnold.

[Tosh]

Darnold. What's the first thing you do? You just won the Super Bowl. Sam Darnold. Change my fucking name. That's what he should have said.

[Eddie]

Just say it.

[Tosh]

Yeah, back to the real. The reason that I'm here to discuss the Winter Olympics. Does anybody even care about the Winter Olympics? Probably not. But guess who does? I do. I love the Winter Olympics. So bundle up. Enjoy. You guys know that shopping for clothes is not my thing. But if you don't have a full time personal stylist at your disposal and you still want someone to tell you what to wear, it's time for you to try Stitch Fix. If you're tired of wasting time trying to figure out your style, Stitch Fix has you covered. You just take a quick style quiz show. Share your size, your vibe, and your budget and you're matched with a real human stylist who handles the rest. Oh, wow. They send you a fix box with your clothes that actually fit. You look great. You don't even have to think about it. It's no risk. All style. Try it all in the comfort of your own home. Keep what works and send back the rest with free shipping and returns. I know what you're thinking, and no, there's no subscription required. I think every guy in here except for me could really benefit from giving this a try. I hope you guys get dressed in the dark because if you can see what you're wearing and still think you did a good job, I'm worried about you. Get started today@stitch fix.com tosh to get $20 off your first order and they'll waive your styling fee. That's stitchfix.com tosh. Eddie, you ever spend money on gas?

[Eddie]

I do.

[Tosh]

What about groceries? Yep. Restaurants?

[Eddie]

Uh huh.

[Tosh]

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[John]

1924 is the first Winter Olympics.

[Tosh]

191924 was the first Winter Olympics. I would have not gotten that right.

[Guest]

Mm, mm.

[John]

I wouldn't have either.

[Tosh]

1924 was the first Winter Games. And when Was skiing invented? 1923.

[John]

Precisely.

[Eddie]

Mussolini.

[Tosh]

And they're like, we gotta. We gotta. Let's gather. Let's gather the nations and see who can slide down the hill faster.

[John]

Skiing was invented approximately 8,000 to 10,000 years ago.

[Tosh]

Snow skiing. I'm not talking about behind a boat, John.

[John]

I just googled this. I'm telling you.

[Tosh]

You're talking about behind. You talking about water skiing behind a boat?

[John]

Yes, water skiing behind a boat.

[Tosh]

Then when was tubing invented? Because that's what I like. I love to get yanked by a tube. How have I not killed anybody behind my boat? And a tube is truly a mystery. Because I will slingshot you off the lake. Honestly, why isn't that a summer game? Tubing? Just to see if you can hold on.

[Eddie]

Yeah, one nation gets to pull another nation.

[Tosh]

What I wouldn't give to pull Russian bitches. They're not going to hold on. Okay, so these games are in Italy? Milan, technically. Are they? I don't believe so. Where are they? Where's Cortina? How far away from Milan is Cortina? And don't give me that weird tourist thing where I have to take a scenic train.

[Eddie]

Almost five hours.

[Tosh]

It's five hours away from Milan. Okay, this is getting silly, because the Summer Games, you got London, Paris, Los Angeles, then the Winter Games, it's like Sochi Big Bear.

[John]

Unforgettable.

[Tosh]

If the Winter Olympics were in Big Bear, that would be hysterical.

[Eddie]

Boost the economy up there.

[Tosh]

Oh, my goodness. Snow Summit. They're one like, mild black Diamond Slope. Start with the Olympics, though. The opening ceremony, that was in Milan and three other locations. So the parade of nations was. Was bizarre because there's like five other Places where people were walking. Okay, start with Mariah Carey. You think Bad Bunny was a lightning rod? How in the world is Italy not freaking out over Mariah Carey being there? First of all, I don't even know how she got into that snail stage. It was this big, gigantic stage of sw. I don't know what it was. Doesn't matter. It was beautiful. She's plopped in the middle. She physically can't move. I don't know if she weighs 400 pounds or 100 pounds. I can't tell anymore. And she doesn't know a word that she's singing. I'm guessing she's just up there. Whatchamacallit, Hillbilly Vanilli, Kid Rock style. Lip syncing. There's no chance on earth she's hitting those notes anymore. My favorite part of the opening ceremony, of course, was watching Vice President J.D. vance getting booed. That's nice. It's just nice. And whether you want to admit it or not, the world hates him. Hitler, 1936. Hitler wasn't even booed at the Games. People are like, you know, we let Hitler slide, but we're not going to let this fucking asshole never again. Yeah, we fool us once. This is getting me excited though, for the LA Games, the Summer Games, 2028. Who should we have seen at our opening ceremony?

[John]

Neil Young?

[Eddie]

Donald Glover.

[Tosh]

Yeah, I don't know what I would want. I don't know would I do. I enjoy people getting upset over nothing. I mean, do you want Taylor Swift or is it funny to like have like Oasis?

[John]

Yeah, that'd be funnier.

[Eddie]

It is funny to have Oasis.

[Tosh]

You know what we should get for the opening ceremony? Tool?

[Eddie]

Oh, yeah.

[Tosh]

Oh, that would be good. Straight up. Let them play one of their 17 minute long songs and just watch everybody lose their mind.

[Eddie]

Still going. Oh, still going.

[Tosh]

Yeah, it's still building.

[Eddie]

The country's.

[Tosh]

You don't even know. At some point you're gonna have to stab somebody. Those songs just get you going. Are you enjoying the Winter Olympics? The coverage? Okay. I have the Peacock app. Oh, I'm logged in. It's not my subscription. It's Jon Jon. Okay. Guy that got jerked in Mexico. Oh, yeah, but he doesn't have like a premium one. Like, there's still like commercials and stuff. I don't like it. I don't love. You know, you just pick an event. You can pick an event and watch it, but that's not really what I like. I like the wrap up at the end of the day, but the problem with the wrap up at the end of the day, it starts at 8 o' clock local time. 8pm that's too late. I need that to start at 4pm I don't know why I'm not getting an east coast feed. Lindsey Vaughn. Oh, my goodness. I mean, what a compelling story. And then to have it ripped away in 13 seconds. You know, on the upside, she's eligible for the Paralympics.

[Eddie]

Yes, she is.

[Tosh]

Which I believe is in a couple weeks.

[Eddie]

Starts in March.

[Tosh]

She's good to go. The Winter Olympics really is just a direct pipeline for the para games. I try to have my son focus on, you know, the remarkable accomplishments of these athletes, but inevitably we're both just going, oh, I hope they crash. It's just, that's whether, no matter what we're watching, we just get. Whether it's ice skating or, you know, skiing or snowboarding, you're just like, oh, I want to see him bounce. That's not nice. These are kids. But yet we want to see them bounce. And when they do, we start screaming about it. We're like, ah, get in. Your mom. Yeah, quick, you got, you got to see this Croatian take a head. Or you watch some of these events though, with your kids and you're like, oh, I certainly hope that you don't get to that level. It's just too much. It's too dangerous.

[John]

It doesn't look real.

[Tosh]

I mean, all of it. Even the figure skating, like, oh, we're not going to die. Figure skating. I don't. Who wants to? My son's a hemophiliac. I don't need him fallen over and over on ice. By the way, I love almost all the games and even the dumb ones, skeleton luge, bobsled. But you, you have to stop. These are not Olympic athletes. That one girl, she didn't qualify. Who's that girl with the sweet dumper? Alicia Kripa. Okay, now that's a sport. And I know we're not supposed to be talking about people's bodies, but my goodness, Italy, there's your gold. Right? The glutes, but this skeleton and the. I mean, we're just watching people go down a slide. This is a ride at an amusement park at best. Oh, this athlete went forward, this athlete goes backwards. It's. It's not this, it's not the same gold medal. Their gold medals should be different. And I know the gold medals this year are falling apart because that's Italy. They go fashion over form, right? But we gotta do something, get it.

[Eddie]

Like fun size medals, like smaller Ones?

[Tosh]

Yeah. Or chocolate.

[John]

Yeah, chocolate. Gold coins.

[Tosh]

They're chocolate. They're wrapped in gold. But you open it up and it's just chocolate again. You were on a ride.

[Eddie]

You definitely were on a ride.

[Tosh]

If I got off the log flume at Disney and demand to be awarded.

[Eddie]

Where's the podium?

[Tosh]

Yeah, I mean, listen, let the outrage come. I embrace it, but it's just not. It's not a thing.

[John]

It's like curling.

[Tosh]

No, curling is a thing. Curling I get.

[John]

Curling is a bar sport.

[Tosh]

Whatever. You know, why isn't shuffleboard in the summer games? I don't know, but I get it. But like to, I mean, skiing is financially out of reach for almost everyone, but to whatever. Here's what you. You want to get into skiing, kids, you do what I did. You ignore the depressing church that your parents make you go to every Sunday and you go to the cool church for the youth group and you go on their once a year ski trip. Now I went on this ski trip as a kid usually to West Virginia, someplace awful. And they would put us in a bus and we would drive there from Florida and then they would pull over for gas somewhere in the evening and they could re. Change the bus into sleeping. And there was just shelves everywhere. Not like a tour bus. I've yet to see a bus like this. There's like platforms that went all. So there's just like layers of kids laying everywhere. Has to be the most dangerous thing in the world. More dangerous than the skeleton, I'm guessing. And then we'd get up to some, some awful mountain in West Virginia and then at most all the runs would be closed because, you know, it wasn't. It was a bad year. And there'd be one hill and we'd all just, we'd love it. Go up any. Anyway, that's how you get into skiing.

[John]

And the Lord via the bus.

[Tosh]

Yeah, I remembered this too, because we had a kid that got hurt and then, you know, because this church was. I forgot what it was, but we laid hands on him and prayed to heal him, that he didn't need his crutches anymore. And then he fell right over.

[Eddie]

Well, sometimes it happens later.

[Tosh]

I tell you what else is embarrassing about going to that church. They took over half the indoor swimming pool and were doing baptisms on this ski trip, which I think is weird to baptize kids when their parents aren't there.

[John]

And in chlorine.

[Tosh]

Well, yeah. Well, yeah. But the humiliating thing was there's people swimming laps and having fun on the other side and then here is this weird cult climbing into the pool with their clothes on. Yeah, I didn't. It made me very uncomfortable. But what was I talking about? The luge?

[John]

Yeah.

[Tosh]

There's cameramen spread out over this mile long track. Freezing. So we don't miss a bit of coverage. First of all, who's going to this? Imagine going to see luge live. Maybe if you had a table with a heater next to you and you could watch them go the whole way around you. I mean, are you allowed to reach over and give them high fives? That would be fun, I guess. I don't get it. By the way, are you watching the figure skating? Any of you?

[John]

Yes.

[Tosh]

Okay. What is your opinion of the quad God, I love it. You love him?

[John]

Yeah.

[Tosh]

Okay, Guess what?

[John]

You don't?

[Tosh]

No, I think it's great. I love that he does a backflip. That's pointless.

[Eddie]

Right.

[Tosh]

Here's my problem with the quad God. He's 21. He looks like he's from Blades of.

[Eddie]

Glory or like the Plague hats.

[Tosh]

Yes, the hairline and the hair is kind of confusing. But I was such a huge fan of the original quad God. Nathan Chen. He was my favorite contemporary ice skater. This guy was cool. The quad God, I get it, he's got pizzazz. But he was doing it, Chen was doing it. And he would wear nothing but black, black skates, everything blade black. And he just looked cool. And I don't understand. He's just, he just stopped and he's focusing. I think he's a genius on top of everything else. Are you guys a fan of Eileen Goo, or are you guys the haters? You know, because she's American born, grew up in San Francisco, but she skis for China and she gets a lot of hate. But she's also the most. I think, I think they said that she's the highest paid Olympia Olympic athlete this year, but that can't be true against some of the hockey players. Unless hockey players just don't make that kind of scratch. I would think there'd be some hockey players that have a bigger contract, but there's not. Apparently she's the highest paid Olympic athlete. American born, grew up in San Francisco, skis for China. I couldn't care less that she skis for China. She stuck up for what's his name? Hunter Biden. I mean, Hunter Hess.

[John]

It would be funny if she did that.

[Tosh]

It'd be funny if she stuck up for both of them.

[John]

That'd be great.

[Tosh]

Hunter Hess. Yeah, he's the guy that he Was saying that he was embarrassed right now of what is happening in the US Just the lows that this president goes to. It's just bizarre. You're going to call this kid out? Who cares if he doesn't agree with how you're running things? A lot of people hate you.

[John]

He's a kid.

[Tosh]

Yeah, he's. Let him do his thing. What's his name? I like that British skier that peed in the snow. Fuck ice, by the way. I could never do that. Yeah, I mean, my urethra is wrecked when, when I pee. It's just a, it's a. You know, you've got those settings on your garden hose, the nozzle that you put on and, and, and mine at this point, it's, it's almost that mist setting. It's just a. You. I couldn't write any. There'd be no political statement made. The irony there, too. Russia has videos of our president being peed on.

[Eddie]

Yeah, it's pretty good.

[John]

Wouldn't that sensitive topic for him.

[Tosh]

Yeah, no wonder he got so upset. Hey, save that pee for my back.

[John]

You write whatever you want on my chest.

[Tosh]

Does it bother you when these athletes play for other countries? It doesn't bother me. Because the reality is we all know where most of them get trained and grew up. And then if they can't make the US Team, their options are either, well, I don't play anymore, or I go under a different flag. Right. I try to only cheer for countries that I've been to or that I like.

[Eddie]

Personal connection.

[Tosh]

And then if I hate the country's politics, I root for them to fail. But I always find it funny that the athletes, after they finish their run, are so cordial and gracious to all of the other athletes from other countries. I'm like, wait, wait, you don't hate that Russian. And they don't. They're like, oh, no, we've been best friends. We've been competing since we were seven years old throughout the world. And I'm always like, oh, that's fascinating. Yeah. There's no animosity. These kids are such good sports. I mean, most of them, I always snowboarders, you know, and, and the freestyle skiers and stuff that whenever they, whenever they, like, botch a jump or something like that. And it's like, oh, well, I'm always like, well, your family flew to Italy and you just fell on the first rail, don't you? Oh, well, me. You ride the rest of the run and do all the jumps.

[John]

I flew first class.

[Eddie]

The Olympics is The whole season.

[Tosh]

So much money to go all the way there. So much time. And then the ski, freestyle ski, or the snowboarding course where they have to do rails and they fall on the first rail and it's like, oh, you're done. Don't tell me that's 50%. They'll slide in. Seven feet on a rail is 50% of my score. When at the end, I've got to do 30 backflips 100ft in the air.

[Eddie]

Right.

[Tosh]

I don't give a shit about the technical part of it. You lose the technical part, and let's just focus on flying. Is wing suiting in the Games yet?

[Guest]

Should be.

[Tosh]

Might as well put it in these Games. Lose money, right?

[John]

They have to.

[Eddie]

Have to.

[Tosh]

There's nothing spectator friendly about it. Are people shelling out big bucks to the ice skating I get or a hockey game I get inside. You're in a game. But, like, just. By the way, sometimes on these mountains, I'll see chairlifts in the background running with people on it. And the resort's like, well, we still gotta pay people. And is the mountain still open?

[John]

It's gotta be.

[Tosh]

Are people still, like, free riding during the Olympics? In 2034, the Olympics will be back on American soil. It's going to be in Salt Lake City. Well, that's good. I got to get an epic pass that year. You know, I just want to. I just want to bomb through one of the events. Wouldn't that be funny if during the downhill, all of a sudden you saw me cut across the track?

[John]

Sorry, sorry.

[Tosh]

My bad, my bad. Out of control. Got lost. Sorry.

[John]

In a second.

[Eddie]

I don't know the route.

[Tosh]

When I watch the downhill, I talk to my wife, and I say, if you were at the starting gate right now, just how long would it take you to get down? Because she's just the slowest rider you could ever imagine.

[Eddie]

I mean, be fun to time it.

[Tosh]

If I know the exact run she's doing, I can always go down, do the whole run, get the chairlift, take it back up, catch up with her, and she will have no clue that I did that. I got another event that we should add to the Winter Olympics, okay? And this pairs nicely with the norovirus that was going through the female hockey teams. That's the Zamboni's job, to clean up your mess. It's the worst part about skiing or being on a mountain when you have to go number two. And that's the challenge. Everyone has to go. You're given a laxative of some sort. You're at the top of the mountain and there's one bathroom at the bottom. And then you have to ride all the way to the bottom of the mountain, and then you have to run through the lodge in your stupid boots and you got nine layers to get off. And I'm always wearing a biblical. So getting that bib off on time and then you got long johns on so much. Oh, it's. It's just. It's a true event and it's worthy of a gold medal if you can make it to the toilet in time. Because some of these resorts there's the. The. The woods isn't dense enough for privacy.

[Eddie]

Exactly.

[Tosh]

It's so funny that my life has become the movie Friday.

[John]

Yeah.

[Tosh]

Where Smoke. I'm Smokey.

[John]

Yep. Landing your shits, Smokey.

[Tosh]

You shitting over there? My favorite moment so far is that Norwegian that got bronze that just started fessing about cheating on his girlfriend. That should be a new rule. If you win bronze, you have to fess up to something you've done. You get gold or silver, you know, your secret dies with you. Bronze. All right, let us know what happened. I don't know when I'm going to tell my wife what I've done, but certainly not at the Olympics.

[Eddie]

If you win the bronze, you have to.

[John]

Yeah.

[Tosh]

You ever watch the closing ceremony of a Games?

[John]

Never.

[Tosh]

Never. Me neither. It's like, all right, I'm done. You prefer in Summer Games, the track and field events versus the indoor events?

[Eddie]

I think I like indoor events.

[Tosh]

Yeah. You're week one guy basketball and stuff like that. Yeah, Basketball. Come on.

[John]

That's hilarious.

[Tosh]

No one thinks of the Summer Games and basketball. No. Gymnastics, swimming, those. The real events. The NBA is basketball. It's a pro sport. And not one of those people that wins a gold medal is like, this is so much better than the millions of dollars I make playing it. Eddie just wants to see. All he wants to do is just see his. His spurs play. If the spurs were in the Olympics, that would just be his heaven. Once there's. Once there's a real league and you're stopping your real league to go do your little fun little country thing. That should be the cutoff. We used to not let pro athletes in the. In the. In the Olympics. But it should just be a financial line. If you make over 100,000 a year doing your sport, you don't get to be in the Olympics. The Olympics should be for poor kids. And I don't like old people in the Games.

[Eddie]

Cap it.

[Tosh]

Let's cap the age. Let's cap the age. And let's cap how much money you can make to get in 36. What?

[Eddie]

36?

[Tosh]

No, I was going to say 17. I like them young.

[Eddie]

That's it.

[Tosh]

Epstein, release the files. We'll be right back.

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[Tosh]

Paw Show Carl did you enjoy the Winter Olympics? You did? They ought to incorporate dogs into some of the events.

[Eddie]

Agreed.

[Tosh]

Man, you ever watch a bernadoodle run Up a mountain in three feet of powder. It's beautiful. Just like a rabbit just jumping out. Oh, he's good at it. You can move, can't you? Do you have a good Valentine's Day, buddy? Took care of you. Gave you some love. Told you I loved you. What'd you guys do? Eddie, did you do anything?

[Eddie]

Just made dinner at the house.

[Tosh]

Made dinner at the house. Oh, you old softy.

[Eddie]

Yep.

[Tosh]

And did you guys take it to the bedroom?

[Eddie]

No, we ate out the living room.

[Tosh]

John, what did you do?

[John]

I made cookies with our kids.

[Tosh]

You made cookies with your children? Well, what'd you do with your wife? Did you do anything special with her?

[John]

Yeah, we made something later.

[Tosh]

Yeah. Do you sign the Alphabet? No. Pete, what did you do for Valentine's? We had fondue at the house. Fondue? Every year. Oh, Sam loves dipping stuff into cheese and chocolate. Is that all you do? You just do the cheese and the chocolate? Just the cheese. You don't do the chocolate? No. Maybe a couple chocolate covered strawberries afterwards? No. Pete, you got to clean the pot out and start over. It's a. It's a pain, but you have to fondue without the chocolate courses. Well, I don't know. I don't know. I don't approve. Dylan, did you have a good Valentine's Day?

[Eddie]

Oh, yeah, it was great.

[John]

It was chill.

[Tosh]

Chill. Oh, you're so cool.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Tosh]

Did you go out to a restaurant?

[John]

No, we hung at home.

[Tosh]

It was a Saturday.

[John]

Yeah.

[Tosh]

So you didn't. You didn't want to go out there because it's amateur hour that night?

[John]

No, just enjoyed. Enjoyed our house together.

[Tosh]

Mm.

[John]

Enjoyed your house together.

[Tosh]

You guys scissored?

[Eddie]

You know it.

[Tosh]

You guys have any traditions? Any kinks you want to talk about?

[John]

No. Pretty vanilla. The French vanilla, or is that Madagascar?

[Tosh]

Is Valentine's Day a day that any of you are like. Well, we have to. We have to make love. It's Valentine's Day.

[John]

No, I feel the pressure.

[Tosh]

Pete. Yes. John feels the pressure. Yeah. Dylan? No. Ed, where are you?

[Eddie]

Don't feel the pressure. Like it to happen, though.

[Tosh]

I don't feel pressure, but I, like, am, like, all, like, guilt or I'm like, it's Valentine's Day. We should be doing this.

[Eddie]

Yeah. What's going on?

[John]

I treat every day I like. It's Valentine's Day. Doesn't always close, though.

[Tosh]

Oh, no, I don't treat. I don't have a desire. You're saying the day after a session, you've got the desire. Desire to go?

[John]

I mean, you're a little older than me. Yes, I could.

[Tosh]

So you're. You're ready to go back to back days? Not me. Yeah, I love it. I love it. I love a day off. If I could go a day off screen. If I could have my dre. My druthers, I would have two days off. Two days every. Yes. Two days off, one day on. I'm like a firefighter. All right, let's do some plugs. We got our patreon.com toss show if you want, you know, more riveting Carl footage. My first farewell tour. It's going well, guys. It's up and rolling. We're starting to knock off some dates. I don't even know what I'm looking forward to. I can't wait to get to Boston. I'll be honest with you. I love getting to Boston, especially now that they lost the Super Bowl.

[Eddie]

Oh, yeah, that'll be fun.

[Tosh]

It's fun. And they're such good natured folks there.

[Eddie]

They like some ribbon about their team.

[Tosh]

Because then they just start screaming about my team. I'll be like, oh, shut up. This isn't about my team. Yeah, my team scored as many touchdowns in the first half as yours did. Okay, what else we got? We got the toss show. Store.com, if you want any merch. What else? We're going to. We're going. We're going with those people over there. Starting point. What are they called?

[Eddie]

Oh, yeah. Turning Point usa.

[Tosh]

Turning Point.

[Eddie]

Yeah, Starting Point.

[Tosh]

We're going to be. Well, we're. We're calling our starting point. We're going to open for them. Yeah, we're going to do our live podcast in front of theirs.

[Eddie]

Right. And Turning Point will do theirs.

[Tosh]

No, that'll be good.

[Eddie]

And then closing point will be the last one.

[Tosh]

Oh, man. Who's Closing Point?

[Eddie]

Everybody together.

[Tosh]

Panda's episode aired and immediately the voicemail box has been filling with potential suitors. So I don't want to get her too excited, but I think love is right around the corner. You got a voicemail. Yep. Let's hear him.

[Caller]

Hey, Daniel, this is Jimmy. I'm from the Inland Empire area. I am 26, about to be 27. Now, I'm not really calling in to show interest for Panda, but what I am interested in is in your sommelier, Sarah Foot. Now, I'm not much of a horse guy, but I know a shiny stallion when I see one. She's funny, she's pretty, and I could tell she just brings a glow into the room when she walks in her Interview is probably my favorite of yours. But, yeah, put in the good work for you, man. I appreciate it. Thank you, guys. Level you guys do.

[Tosh]

What is going on? Well, yeah, these calls have gone off the road. Okay. This is not a dating show. Right. I appreciate you calling. This person is a little too young for Panda in the first place, but they're in the Inland Empire. But then the whole nonsense, it got embarrassing, him gushing all over Sarah foot. I don't know if Sarah foot's in the market, right. And I'm not going to pass on the information now. If she hears it and then reaches out to me, then I'll give her what I can. I'll pass it on. But no, I don't think. That's not what this show is about. The guy sounds like he was actually on the Bachelor giving one of those awkward speeches. I'm sure Sarah's flattered, but again, not appropriate. All right, do you have anybody for Panda?

[Eddie]

Yeah, I think this one's going to work.

[Tosh]

Hey.

[Caller]

Good afternoon, Tosh. Good afternoon, panda. Name's Andrew. Six, two two, 15. Blonde hair, blue eyes, in shape, very well established carpenter, former ranch hand, former Texan who now calls the North Shore a Maui home. Bit of a surfer, bit of a coop. Also spend a lot of time in Southern California for work. Bouncing between. Like I said, ranch hand. Enjoy horses. Always out there trying to make people laugh, having a good time. Bit of a man of principle with that. And progressive. Not a vegetarian or a vegan. Proudly have an antifa sticker on one of my toolboxes. And fuck ice with that. Feel free to reach out anytime. Like I said, I bounce back and forth between the North Shore of Maui and Southern California.

[Tosh]

Aloha, Andrew Winner. That guy seems great.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Tosh]

Good job, Andrew. Wait, wait. I don't know what took you so long to call. See you guys next week at Charmin. We heard you shouldn't talk about going to the bathroom in public, so we decided to sing about it. Charmin Ultra Strong.

[Eddie]

You can use less.

[Tosh]

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