Podcast
TOTAL MASSACRE
Hosted by Rowan Kaiser · EN
TOTAL MASSACRE is a science fiction and action movie podcast hosted by Rowan Kaiser, Kev Koeser, and Carli Velocci!
11episodes
Episodes
Newest firstAll episodes
Synecdoche, New York
Aug 801:31:25Tap to summarize"It is a play about dating. It's not a play just about death. It's about everything. Dating, birth, death, life, family—all that." TOTAL MASSACRE returns, kind of, with a show about Charlie Kaufman's masterpiece/self-indulgent waste, SYNECDOCHE, NEW YORK, or, a man will invent an entire world of nestled plays within plays rather than admit he might have gender dysphoria. The actor playing Rowan Kaiser is quickly written out, but is also joined by actors playing Kev Koeser who takes over, and guest actors playing Carli Velocci and Dais Johnston also appear.
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The Breakfast Club
Apr 24, 202501:29:37Tap to summarizeOur project getting into the Teen Girl High School Social Satire Canon requires a delve into John Hughes, and we've picked THE BREAKFAST CLUB, because it's the best, least problematic, and somehow Rowan never saw it before this? Anyway enjoy a bunch of millennials poking holes in a Gen X masterpiece--nah, we all loved it, all three of us Ally Sheedys.
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Carrie
Apr 10, 202501:48:13Tap to summarizeThey're all gonna laugh at you. TOTAL MASSACRE starts its foray into the teen girl high school social satire canon with CARRIE, a film that may not be satire, but it's very concerned with many of the same things, as Rowan argues, and is a tremendous influential film and story overall, as special guest Zack Handlen argues. Does first-time viewer Christy Admiraal agree? What is the difference between comedy and horror in the end? Why are CARRIE adaptations so keen to make Carrie so skinny? How awful is Nancy Allen, and how not-threatening is John Travolta? And why is Rowan so attracted to Piper Laurie in this anyway???
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Lady Bird
Mar 28, 202501:18:05Tap to summarizeIt's all led to this. Over a hundred episodes of action movies, science fiction movies, crime lesbian movies, and Gerwig movies has to our apotheosis: LADY BIRD. Why did Kev redefine their life about this movie? Why was Rowan terrified about how close to home it would hit? Why was special guest/new co-host (kinda) Christy Admiraal excited to join us? How astonishing is this cast? How great are the core performances? How did Greta Gerwig manage to make "liking Crash by the Dave Matthews Band" into the emotional climax of an all-time great film? All these questions and more -- including what the fourth season of TOTAL MASSACRE will entail -- on this massive sweeps week episode!
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Mistress America
Mar 21, 202501:24:56Tap to summarizeGerwig month continues with Mistress America, a film about what happens when you get the coolest step-sister of all time who's also a total loser but then the film isn't actually about her, it's about you, and you don't like what you find out about yourself. Plus girlbossing, and tweets! Rowan and Kev are joined by Mistress America superfan Grace Robertson to talk what happens when it all goes wrong but it's also very funny.
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Frances Ha
Mar 13, 202501:36:57Tap to summarizeTOTAL MASSACRE is going through a rough time. Our best friend Carli got other things to do in life instead of hanging out with us all time (congrats Carli!) Fiasco month didn't get us hired for the Christmas show. We've had to turn to our comfort films. That's right, after action, after science fiction, it is time for GRETA GERWIG MONTH (early). We begin with FRANCES HA, written by and starring the lady herself, and man is this script great. Jeez is this acting great. And the editing! Well that wasn't her but everything is great. It's already a fav of Rowan and Kev, but special guest Jon Arthur watched it for the first time for the show and then immediately watched it again.
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Southland Tales
Feb 28, 202501:37:18Tap to summarizeTOTAL MASSACRE's Fiasco month concludes with Southland Tales, Richard Kelly's 2006 disasterpiece of a followup to Donnie Darko. It's a movie that's very angry about George W Bush, ineffective liberals, racist cops, and rampant nationalist consumerism, and boy does it want to deal with all those things at once, with wildly varying effectiveness. We talk about Sarah Michelle Gellar, SNL alumni, Amy Poehler's too-fast death, the mid-2000s liberal blogosphere, Barack Obama, Wallace Shawn as a Final Fantasy villain, Bai Ling as ..... some character, and whether The Rock was ready for this kind of stardom. And a lot more. There's so much movie in this movie!
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Cloud Atlas
Feb 12, 202501:41:50Tap to summarizeFiasco month(s) continues with the Wachowskis' and Tom Twyker's masterfiascopiece, CLOUD ATLAS, a film about the indominatible power of the human spirit and also Halle Berry as an evil elderly Korean doctor. Chris Dole guests alongside Rowan and Kev to talk about the movie that is one of the most movies. It's a lot, in fact six different movies, but also most of them seem good! The cast is great! The yellowface is....maybe well-intentioned but that doesn't mean it good. What IS good is the score! Real monkey's paw movie.
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Metropolis
Jan 30, 202501:23:02Tap to summarizeFiasco Month at Total Massacre kicks off with the original overly ambitious sci-fi fiasco, Fritz Lang's Metropolis. Guest Val McKenna joins Carli and Kev in discussing this movie's troubled production but also its incredible look and wonderful performances. Listen now, and maybe you too will want to rise up and overthrow your masters.
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Scanners
Dec 23, 202401:25:09Tap to summarizeRowan gets a well deserved Cronenbergsmas rest as the helpful spirits of Carli, Kev, and special guest Noel Kirkpatrick discuss Scanners... sort of. We talk about how Scanners is the Cronenberg of past, present, and Cronenbergs yet to come, which actors make the best Scanners face, that one scene (you know the one), plus cool jackets. There's also a lot of loopy tangents. Enjoy!
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