Totally Booked with Zibby: Alexandra Potter, a European Road Trip, and Two Bad Ass Women
Host: Zibby Owens
Guest: Alexandra Potter
Date: March 13, 2026
Episode Overview
This lively episode of Totally Booked with Zibby features acclaimed author Alexandra Potter discussing her new bestselling novel, So I Met This Guy, with host, publisher, and bookstore owner Zibby Owens. Recorded live in New York, the conversation dives into Potter’s writing journey, inspiration for her latest book—which centers on romance fraud, female friendship, and self-discovery through a whirlwind European road trip—and her insights into women, aging, and the power of finding oneself after a life upheaval.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Alexandra Potter’s Background and Writing Philosophy
- [05:46] Potter welcomes the audience, sharing that she’s been writing for 25 years and has published 15 uplifting, feel-good novels, predominantly in the romantic comedy genre.
- She reflects on her publishing journey: “I think I had my first book published just before my 30th birthday, which was kind of super exciting.”
- Her goal: fiction that’s entertaining, empowering, but also carries deeper, serious messages.
- So I Met This Guy is positioned as both a serious and empowering story wrapped in humor and hope.
2. The Story Behind So I Met This Guy
- [06:46] Zibby invites Potter to pitch the book. Potter describes the premise:
- Protagonist Maggie, age 49, falls in love with a man who turns out to be a catfishing romance con artist.
- Maggie is left financially and emotionally devastated, ending up “living in a caravan in a field in the middle of nowhere.”
- A young reporter befriends Maggie, encouraging her to confront her con-artist ex, launching them on a two-week, sun-soaked road trip across Europe in pursuit.
- “But what they really find is themselves.” (08:08)
Memorable Quote
“It’s got a serious message, but it ultimately has a very uplifting, empowering message, I think.”
— Alexandra Potter [05:41]
3. Inspiration and Research: Romance Fraud and Road Trips
- [08:22] Potter explains her interest was piqued after reading about real-life romance fraud stories—women conned not just financially but emotionally, often left feeling ashamed and isolated.
- She wanted to expose the psychological impact: “It’s not just the financial damage, it’s the psychological damage and the emotional damage.”
- Potter combined her passion for travel and humor with the serious theme, including real research trips to European destinations, even inviting her sister on fact-finding missions for the book.
Notable Destinations in the Novel
- Monte Carlo, the Amalfi Coast, Sicily, Ibiza, Mallorca, Spain, and Tangier
“I took them to Monte Carlo. I took them down the Amalfi coast … They go to Sicily in the book, which is pretty fantastic … It was quite some trip.”
— Alexandra Potter [09:46]
4. Exploring Catfishing and Emotional Consequences
- [10:23] Zibby opens up a conversation about trust and emotional fallout; Potter discusses how victims can still feel love for their perpetrators, because “the guy that they fell in love with still existed in their mind and in their heart, even though they’d found out that he was not that guy.”
- She highlights the manipulative tactics: “I read about love bombing, and I read about coercive control and breadcrumbing and all these terms I’d never heard of.” [10:50]
Warning Signs of Romance Fraud
- [12:07] Potter shares research-based red flags:
- Isolating victims from friends/family
- “Little tests”: borrowing small sums of money and repaying them to create trust
- Fabricated emergencies and joint accounts that don’t exist
- “If you do fall in love with someone, it’s very easy to be conned … I think it can [happen to anyone].”
“You’ve got to be so careful.” — Alexandra Potter [13:26]
5. Female Friendship & Intergenerational Bonds
- [13:26] Zibby and Potter highlight the strength and intimacy of women’s friendships, especially those that span generations. In the novel, a significant age gap collapses as the two leads join forces.
- Potter: “Female friendship is something that carries us through our lives … they can be the longest relationships in your life, I think.”
- Intergenerational friendships enrich and de-stigmatize aging:
“With friendship, age is just a number … you can learn a lot from each other.”
— Alexandra Potter [14:22] - Potter shares a charming, comedic anecdote about researching a cooking scene in Sicily with her friend Dana—a reminder of how new friendships can fuel adventure and creativity.
6. Author’s Process and Writing Advice
- [28:07] Potter is a meticulous planner: “I am a huge plotter. I do know people that set off and write a novel and they just start typing. For me, I have to plan out a book. I have a huge cork board in my office and I plot all the chapters from beginning to the end.”
- Characters get color-coded post-its; scenes can be moved visually.
- Practical writing habits: Treating writing as a “proper, regular, full time job” and encouraging consistency even for aspiring writers with other jobs (“100 words, 100 words, 100 words… and eventually they will all stack together to make 100,000 words”). [29:35]
On Writing Roots and Encouragement
- [31:59] “Do it. Absolutely do it … I thought it happened to somebody else … And I just happened to read one day a magazine … and their advice was just start writing.”
- On perseverance: “It’s so easy to sort of have an idea and then you … lose confidence … but if you just keep going and get to the end and you have a book, you’ve got as good a chance of selling it as anybody else.”
Notable Quotes & Standout Moments
-
On the psychological impact of romance fraud:
“They feel stupid, they feel foolish, they feel ashamed. A lot of women don’t even tell the police. They don’t tell their families.”
— Alexandra Potter [08:22] -
On the age of her protagonist:
“Maggie’s 49. In my head, she was like, 82 or something like that. I’m like, 49 is not. I’m 49 anyway.”
— Zibby Owens [13:58] -
On representing older women in fiction:
“I actually wrote that character [Cricket] for my mom who’s in her 80s, and I didn’t feel that she was being represented in fiction … My mom’s not like that and her friends in their 80s are not like that.”
— Alexandra Potter [26:31] -
On the importance of old friends:
“There’s just nothing like being with old friends that you’ve known a long time … They really know you, don’t they? And they have been with you throughout thick and thin, and they have seen you.”
— Alexandra Potter [21:56]
Key Timestamps
- [06:46] – Potter’s detailed summary of So I Met This Guy
- [08:22] – The real-life inspiration behind the story; research trips
- [10:23] – Discussion of emotional fallout, “still loving the conman”
- [12:07] – Warning signs and psychology of romance fraud
- [13:26] – Female friendship and the age gap
- [16:32] – Potter’s own friendship adventures and research stories
- [23:21] – The Confessions of a 40-something F Up series: genesis and impact
- [26:31] – Cricket, representing vibrant older women, and reader feedback
- [28:17] – Potter’s writing process, using a cork board
- [29:35] – Day-to-day routine and advice for aspiring authors
- [31:59] – Final words of encouragement to writers
Episode Highlights
- This conversation is rich with laughter, candid anecdotes (like the Sicilian cooking class), and tangible advice for writers.
- Potter and Zibby foster a tone that’s both deeply supportive and self-deprecating, often joking about age and friendships.
- The episode resonates with listeners who value women’s stories, the complexity of love and trust, and the necessity of self-discovery at any age.
In Summary
Alexandra Potter’s appearance on Totally Booked with Zibby is a celebration of smart, funny, and fearless women on and off the page. Through tales of heartbreak, fraud, friendship, and the pursuit of reinvention, this episode feels like a conversation among friends—open, inspiring, and full of practical and emotional wisdom for readers and writers alike.