Podcast Summary: "LOVEABLE: A Memoir: One Woman’s Path from Good to Free" with Amber Rae on Totally Booked with Zibby

Episode Release Date: August 5, 2025

Introduction

In this deeply personal and transformative episode of Totally Booked with Zibby, host Zibby Owens welcomes Amber Rae, a bestselling author and speaker, to discuss her compelling memoir, LOVEABLE: A Memoir: One Woman’s Path from Good to Free. The conversation delves into Amber’s journey of self-discovery, healing, and the courageous steps she took to redefine her life and relationships.

The Genesis of LOVEABLE

[04:11] Zibby Owens introduces Amber Rae, highlighting her previous works like Choose Wonder Over Worry and the Feelings Journal. Amber shares the impetus behind her memoir:

[05:27] Amber Rae:
"I'm writing this book for me so I can heal, to lighten my basket of burdens by making sense of my history, and hopefully pass on more blessings to my children."

This honest confession sets the tone for a raw and insightful discussion about personal growth and the importance of self-healing.

A Pivotal Life Change

Amber recounts a pivotal moment four years prior when she decided to leave an unfulfilling nine-year marriage. She describes meeting her soulmate as a "sliding door moment" that awakened her to the reality of her stagnant relationship.

[06:06] Amber Rae:
"The whole house of cards burned down, and I suddenly was seeing reality very accurately."

This moment of clarity led Amber to confront the lack of emotional connection in her marriage and the broader implications of staying in relationships that no longer serve one's true self.

Processing Grief Within the Relationship

Amber discusses a profound realization she had upon leaving her marriage: she had already been grieving the loss of a fulfilling relationship while still being in it.

[08:03] John:
"He stands, grabs his bag and looks back at me one last time before he walks out the front door... I have already processed this loss, the anger, the sadness, the disappointment, the hope, the despair. I grieved our marriage while I was in it."
(Timestamp: 08:03)

This acknowledgment of internalized grief allowed Amber to experience a sense of relief and peace, rather than the anticipated overwhelming sadness.

Serendipities and Spiritual Connections

The conversation shifts to the serendipitous events that accompanied Amber's life changes, highlighting her belief in the universe's guidance.

[12:00] Amber Rae:
"It was as if the universe was like, all right, we're going to make sure you pay attention... message received."
(Timestamp: 12:00)

Amber shares how coincidences, such as her son's birth date (10/4, "message received"), reinforced her decision to listen to her intuition and embrace her true path.

Confronting Sexual Insecurity

Amber opens up about her personal insecurities regarding her body and sexuality, especially after leaving a sexless marriage.

[14:30] Amber Rae:
"Here I was in a nine-year sexless marriage and I leave that marriage and now I'm with someone who's very connected to his sexuality. And I feel so disconnected from that part of myself. It was terrifying."
(Timestamp: 14:30)

She candidly discusses the fears and anxieties that surfaced as she navigated her newfound romantic relationship, highlighting the universal struggle with self-acceptance and vulnerability.

Breaking Family Patterns

A significant portion of the discussion centers on the generational patterns of love and betrayal in Amber’s family.

[22:19] Amber Rae:
"All of the women in my family have been left by men in very betraying ways... they didn't have the emotional strength, the financial resources, or the internal knowing to leave."
(Timestamp: 22:19)

Amber explores how recognizing these patterns motivated her to create a different legacy for herself and her future children, emphasizing the importance of modeling healthy, self-honoring relationships.

Self-Honoring vs. Selfishness

Amber addresses the common misconception that prioritizing one's own needs is selfish. She introduces the concept of "self-honoring" as a more accurate and empowering term.

[25:21] Amber Rae:
"Choosing yourself, choosing your joy, choosing what lights you up, choosing what moves you, choosing to speak your needs... is not selfish. I think it's self-honoring."
(Timestamp: 25:21)

This redefinition challenges societal norms that often discourage women from prioritizing their well-being, advocating instead for a balanced approach to self-care and relationship dynamics.

Collaborative Creativity and Support

Amber shares insights into her creative process and the supportive role her husband, John, plays in her work.

[27:08] Amber Rae:
"He has very different literary tastes than I do... you need to write this book in the way that is right and true for you. And, you know, he was the first reader of the final thing, and he was like, this is very. You know, this is uncomfortable. But also, I... love you. I believe in your art, and I support this."
(Timestamp: 27:08)

Their collaborative relationship underscores the importance of mutual respect and understanding in personal and creative endeavors.

Conclusion: Embracing an Authentic Life

As the episode wraps up, Amber reflects on how writing her memoir has empowered her to live more intentionally and authentically.

[20:27] Amber Rae:
"It’s making me make choices that are actually right and true and helps me live a more intentional and honest life."
(Timestamp: 20:27)

Her journey from enduring a constraining marriage to embracing freedom and self-love serves as an inspiring testament to the power of self-awareness and courage.

Key Takeaways

• Healing Through Writing: Amber used her memoir as a tool for personal healing and understanding her past.
• Recognizing Grief: Acknowledging grief while still in a strained relationship can lead to profound personal insights.
• Serendipity and Spirituality: Amber’s experiences underscore a belief in universal signs guiding personal transformation.
• Self-Honoring Over Selfishness: Prioritizing one's own needs is framed as an empowering, non-selfish act essential for healthy relationships.
• Breaking Generational Patterns: Awareness of family relationship dynamics can inform and break unhealthy cycles.
• Supportive Partnerships: A supportive partner who respects creative autonomy is crucial in personal growth journeys.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Amber Rae on Writing for Healing:
  "[05:27] I'm writing this book for me so I can heal, to lighten my basket of burdens by making sense of my history, and hopefully pass on more blessings to my children."

• Amber Rae on Self-Honoring:
  "[25:21] Choosing yourself, choosing your joy, choosing what lights you up, choosing what moves you, choosing to speak your needs... is not selfish. I think it's self-honoring."

• Amber Rae on Universal Signs:
  "[12:00] It was as if the universe was like, all right, we're going to make sure you pay attention... message received."

Final Thoughts

Amber Rae's heartfelt narrative in LOVEABLE: A Memoir offers listeners a profound exploration of personal resilience, the courage to pursue authentic happiness, and the importance of self-honoring in building fulfilling relationships. Her story serves as an empowering guide for anyone seeking to transform their lives from merely "good" to truly "free."

For more insights and to explore Amber Rae’s works, visit zibbymedia.com and follow Zibby Owens on Instagram.