Eliza Reid, THE FIRST LADY NEXT DOOR

Summary

Podcast Summary: Totally Booked with Zibby – Eliza Reid, "THE FIRST LADY NEXT DOOR"

Host: Zibby Owens
Guest: Eliza Reid
Episode Date: June 23, 2026

---

Episode Overview

In this engaging episode of Totally Booked with Zibby, Zibby Owens sits down with Eliza Reid, author, public speaker, gender equality advocate, and former First Lady of Iceland, to discuss her new memoir, The First Lady Next Door. The episode dives into Eliza’s remarkable journey from rural Canada to the halls of Icelandic power, her reflections on identity, balancing public and personal life, challenges and joys of her “accidental” role as First Lady, and the importance of saying yes to unexpected opportunities. The conversation also touches on body image, media scrutiny, the foundation and mission of the Iceland Writers Retreat, and finding a path forward after stepping down from a public role.

---

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. An Unlikely Beginnings: From Canada to Iceland (04:26–07:14)

• Eliza’s background: Grew up on a farm in Canada, went to Oxford for grad school where she met her Icelandic husband, Guðni Th. Jóhannesson.
• Meet-cute at Oxford: Eliza recalls thinking her future husband, who is older and already a parent, was part of a “new world” she had little experience with.
• Unconventional proposal: Eliza proposed to her husband—a secret at first and only shared with her mother-in-law much later.
  • Quote: “I thought if I'm moving to this new country and I'm building a life there, it's because I've committed to this person and so we should be married.…sometimes men can be slow movers, bless them. And yeah, so I proposed to him and he said yes.” —Eliza Reed (06:16)

2. Icelandic Civics and the “Accidental” First Family (07:14–09:53)

• How her husband ran for President: Initially an Oxford professor and expert on Icelandic presidents, he was suggested as a candidate during a national political crisis.
• Sudden campaign: With four young children at home, their seven-week campaign was both surreal and chaotic, highlighted by anecdotes like their stylist’s confusion over Eliza’s “personal style.”
  • Quote: “He was an expert on the presidents of Iceland … and then he was the expert because he was neutral… People saw this man on television who was on for six hours one day…and said he’d be really good running for president, and they literally started calling our house.” —Eliza Reed (08:31)

3. Family Decision and Making the Leap (09:53–12:18)

• Considerations: Weighed the impact on their children, finances, and whether Guðni would be good in the role.
• Philosophy of Yes: Embracing uncertainty and growth; how this decision—though daunting—embodied the idea of leaning into opportunities even when they are scary.
  • Quote: “If you try your best and it works, that's great. And if it doesn't work, you can say that you went for it and go back to our happy lives.” —Eliza Reed (10:15)

4. The Realities of Public Life and Maintaining Identity (12:32–16:22)

• Life in the public eye: Navigating fish-out-of-water moments, from state dinners to presidential motorcades juxtaposed with everyday parenting.
• Finding balance: Struggling with the lack of an “official” role yet not wanting to lose her identity—balancing dignity, authenticity, and responsibility.
  • Quote: “If there is no rule book, then I can’t be breaking any rules, in a sense. But I didn’t… wake up to that right away. You want to keep that balance of serving with dignity…but you also want to stay true to who you are as a person.” —Eliza Reed (13:34)
• Navigating imposter syndrome and self-doubt: Exploring the freedoms and limitations of being the First Lady, but also feeling the urge to use her platform intentionally.

5. Writing, Vulnerability, and Owning the Narrative (16:22–18:38)

• Open storytelling: Writing vulnerable op-eds (notably in the NYT) changed her connection with the public and gave her agency.
• Overcoming fear of criticism: Risking attention and potential backlash but realizing most responses were positive and validating.
  • Quote: “If we don’t acknowledge that these things exist, then we don’t change.” —Eliza Reed (18:22)

6. Body Image, Media Pressure, and Self-Acceptance (23:03–26:30)

• Media obsession with appearance: Discussion of her experience losing weight as First Lady and the disproportionate attention it received.
• Rejecting superficial standards: Advocates for feeling good over looking a certain way, and acknowledges the pressure particularly on women in public life.
  • Quote: “I feel most people haven’t [been supermodels]…but we all have the 24 hours in a day that everybody else has. And so…spend that time…writing a book, or…doing something with the kids or my husband. And that’s how I choose to spend that time.” —Eliza Reed (25:43)

7. The Iceland Writers Retreat & Community (26:30–28:17)

• Genesis and mission: Founded in 2014, it welcomes writers of all levels for inspiration, craft, and connection in Iceland.
• Describes it as a mix of literary classes and cultural experiences; faculty changes annually.
• Special offers discussed for early registrants.

8. Identity after Public Roles—Moving Forward (28:45–30:30)

• Reflecting on labels: How tightly identity can become tied to public titles (mother, author, First Lady), and the importance of finding fulfillment beyond them.
  • Quote: “At these different points in lives, we're kind of assigned these labels…does that restrain me, does that help me grow?” —Eliza Reed (29:03)
• Embracing what comes next: Looking forward to future adventures, having learned the confidence to embrace uncertainty.

9. Notable Stories & Memorable Moments (30:30–31:59)

• White House and global anecdotes: From wardrobe malfunctions with royalty to President Biden calling her mother, sharing humorous and profound memories.
  • **“But really what sticks with me…that we got to meet just regular people all the time…Most people are good people…they’re…doing that little bit every day. And I think we all need to be reminded of that now.” —Eliza Reed (31:01)

---

Memorable Quotes

• “Sometimes men can be slow movers, bless them. And yeah, so I proposed to him and he said yes.” —Eliza Reed (06:16)
• “If you try your best and it works, that's great. And if it doesn't work, you can say that you went for it and go back to our happy lives.” —Eliza Reed (10:15)
• “If we don't acknowledge that these things exist, then we don't change.” —Eliza Reed (18:22)
• “But really what sticks with me…that we got to meet just regular people all the time…Most people are good people…they’re…doing that little bit every day.” —Eliza Reed (31:01)
• “You want to do that with dignity and honor and integrity, but you also want to stay true to who you are as a person.” —Eliza Reed (13:34)

---

Timeline of Key Segments

• 04:26: Eliza shares how she met her husband and proposed to him.
• 07:14: The path to becoming Iceland’s first family and a crash course in Icelandic politics.
• 09:53: Making the decision to run for president as a family.
• 12:32: Parenting during campaign chaos and balancing public/private roles.
• 16:22: How writing helped combat imposter syndrome and reshape her narrative.
• 21:21: Behind the scenes of publishing her NYT op-ed as First Lady.
• 23:03: Media scrutiny and conversations about body image.
• 26:30: The Iceland Writers Retreat—mission and evolution.
• 28:45: Reflecting on identity after holding a high-profile public role.
• 30:30: Favorite moments and the lasting impact of connecting with everyday people.

---

Closing Thoughts

Eliza Reid’s story in this episode is one of unexpected adventure, huge personal and public leaps, constant negotiation of personal identity, and open-hearted vulnerability. Whether discussing feminist advocacy, the realities behind a First Lady’s public image, or the universal challenges of reinvention, her perspective is both relatable and inspiring.
As Zibby puts it, hearing Eliza’s journey is “meant to be”—offering insights for anyone facing change, redefining themselves, or daring to say yes.

---

For more information:

• The First Lady Next Door is available wherever books are sold.
• The next Iceland Writers Retreat is in April 2027—early bird registration available!

---

Happy early birthday to Eliza and congrats on the bestselling acclaim!

Transcript

[Capital One Bank Advertiser]

With no fees or minimums on checking accounts, it's no wonder the Capital One bank guy is so passionate about banking. With Capital One. If he were here, he wouldn't just tell you about no fees or minimums. He'd also talk about how most Capital One cafes are open seven days a week to assist with your banking needs. Yep, even on weekends, it's pretty much all he talks about in a good way. What's in your wallet? Terms apply. See capitalone.com Bank Capital One NA Member FDIC

[Jonathan Fields]

hi, this is Jonathan Fields, host of the Good Life Project. What if your home could welcome you at the door, energize your kitchen and calm your bedroom all automatically. With Pura's family of smart diffusers, you can send every space perfectly, choose premium clean fragrances, adjust the intensity and set schedules right from your phone. It's whole homescenting designed for the way you live. Build your Pura system [e-mail] Wholehome

[Zibby Owens]

Today's episode is sponsored by Quince. Summer always makes me rethink what I'm reaching for every day. Lighter fabrics, better materials. Pieces that just feel good the moment you put them on and look effortless. That's why I keep coming back to Quince. They focus on high quality essentials. Think breathable linen, soft organic coffee, cotton, washable silk, but without the luxury markup. It's that rare balance where everything feels elevated but still easy. Quince has beautiful everyday pieces like 100% European linen pants, dresses and tops with styles starting at $32. Their denim is soft and easy to wear. I wear my jean jacket all the time and their organic cotton sweaters are perfect for layering on cool summer nights. Everything at Quint's is perfect. Priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands, Quince works directly with ethical factories and cuts out the middlemen so you're paying for quality, not brand markup. And it's not just clothing. Quince has really become a destination for elevated essentials across home, kitchen, bedding and beyond, making it easy to bring a more premium feel into everyday life. In addition to my jean jacket, I recently got a white tank top dress with a beautiful cotton skirt shirt that is absolutely gorgeous and I can't wait for it to be warm enough so I can wear it every day. But it has been a cool spring. Elevate your summer wardrobe. Go to quince.com zibby for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com zibby for free Shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com zibby hi, this is Zibby Owens and you're listening to Totally Booked with Zibby, formerly Moms don't have Time to Read Books in my daily show, I interview today's latest best selling, buzziest or underrated authors and story creators whose work I think is worth your time. As a bookstore owner, publisher, author and obviously podcaster. I get a comprehensive look at everything that's coming out and spend my time curating the best books so you don't have to stay in the know, get insider insights and connect with guests like I do every single day. For more information, go to zibbymedia.com and follow me on Instagram Ibyoans Eliza Reed is the author of the First Lady Next Door, a memoir of Iceland identity and unexpected adventure.

[Podcast Host (Interviewer)]

It was lovely getting a chance to interview her in my office in New York City.

[Zibby Owens]

Eliza Reed is a best selling writer, public speaker, gender equality advocate and co founder of the acclaimed Iceland Writers Retreat. Her first book, Secrets of the Sprakar, was an international bestseller and a New York Times Book Review Editor's Choice.

[Podcast Host (Interviewer)]

She was on this podcast to talk about it, so you can go back and listen to that if you would like.

[Zibby Owens]

Her first novel, Death on the island, was an instant USA Today bestseller and option for television from 2016 to 2024. Eliza served in the unofficial role of first lady while her husband was President of Iceland, during which time she was named a United Nations Special Ambassador for tourism and the Sustainable Development Goals.

[Podcast Host (Interviewer)]

Welcome Eliza. Thank you. Thank you so much for coming on Totally Booked to talk about the First Lady Next Door, a memoir of Iceland identity and unexpected adventures. Thank you.

[Eliza Reed]

Thanks so much for having me on. And I see you folded little corners. That makes me happy. I did.

[Podcast Host (Interviewer)]

I folded all these little corners. Should we see what I even fold? I don't even know. Well, why don't you?

[Eliza Reed]

I do the same thing with books. So.

[Podcast Host (Interviewer)]

Well, I guess my first dog year you said. Actually I can't really remember what I said. And even if I did, some things get to stay between a couple. The point is, is that I propose to him. Let's start with that. Okay. Proposing to your husband. That's exactly. I mean, let's just jump right in there.

[Eliza Reed]

Yeah, let's just. Yeah. So my. Well, tiny bit of background for people. You can hear my accent. So. I grew up in Canada on a farm in countryside. I went to England for graduate school to Oxford. And that's where I met my husband, who is from Iceland. So people weren't very excited if you were from Canada and you were at Oxford, but everyone was excited that there was someone from Iceland because that was like the only person that anybody had met from that country. Very long story short, we met. I kind of cheated to want to date with him. That's a whole other story. And then we became a couple when he finished his PhD and he was

[Podcast Host (Interviewer)]

like, older than you and had a daughter and he wasn't so sure about the whole thing.

[Eliza Reed]

Yeah, he was. So I was 22, which is like, how old you are, right, when you. If you go straight to grad school. And I remember talking to him at a party once, and I thought he was one of the older graduate students, like 25 or something. Kind of my big realm of old. And we were chatting and he was talking about how the. When the Berlin Wall came down, he was in undergrad university and I was in the eighth grade or something. And I remember, think I said to him, how old are you? And he said, I am thirsty, with this Icelandic accent. And I remember because we were at a party and I remember thinking, can people. Can people who are 30 go to parties? Like, did they stay awake? This. Like, it was. It was like a new world for me. But we did. We. We had a date, we fell in love. And he has a daughter from his first marriage, so he was always going to go back to Iceland as soon as he was finished.

[Podcast Host (Interviewer)]

And.

[Eliza Reed]

And I remember thinking, right, well, if we want to be together, and I think we do, this is it. But I thought, you know, I wouldn't say I'm massively a traditionalist, but I thought if I'm moving to this new country and I'm building a life there, it's because I've committed to this person and so we should be married. And to me, it's this strange thing that if I've kind of taken the mental leap that I wanted to marry him, I thought, well, you know, why shouldn't I just ask him then? I'm not going to, like, leave a ring catalog on the coffee table or something. I thought if he got to it first, that was fair enough. But sometimes men can be slow movers, bless them. And yeah, so I proposed to him and he said yes. So that was okay. He didn't, he, he. He didn't tell his mother for a long time that it was actually me who proposed, though.

[Podcast Host (Interviewer)]

Oh, she. Did it come out in the book?

[Eliza Reed]

That's. No, that's so that's a new. Yeah, not, not, not that long. But that's exclusive material for you. That he called her and said he got engaged and she said, I hope you did it properly. And he said, yes, it was a little while later. That's funny.

[Podcast Host (Interviewer)]

Oh my gosh.

[Eliza Reed]

Mother in law stories. Exactly. Whole other podcast.

[Podcast Host (Interviewer)]

Yeah. That's amazing. Okay, so you talk about your whole relationship and the. It's very unlikely, or it seemed unlikely at the beginning that you would ever be in this situation.

[Eliza Reed]

Right.

[Podcast Host (Interviewer)]

And you even talk about how he went, your husband, your husband went on the news and talked about this big event that was happening in the media and spent hours sort of dissecting everything that was going on. P S. Thank you for all of the education about the system, the democrat, you know, the system of how it all works in Iceland.

[Eliza Reed]

Like, at the risk of scaring away readers, I know you were like, am

[Podcast Host (Interviewer)]

I still, Are you still awake? And I was like, yes, I'm still listening.

[Eliza Reed]

You do have to explain a little bit of Icelandic civics. And I feel if the reader gets through that, then good to go.

[Podcast Host (Interviewer)]

Yeah. Although I have to say I was talking to my daughter on the way to school because she is learning about like US politics, all this and like Article 1 and term limits. And I was like, by the way, let me tell you about Iceland. Quirky fact, quirky fact about Iceland.

[Eliza Reed]

It was actually quite, you know, maybe it's a good party trick for people. That's true. That's like. So we'll look at that as a bonus for readers rather than just a boring thing they've got to get through.

[Podcast Host (Interviewer)]

Just a little thing. But important. But anyway, it explains how you ended up becoming the first lady of Iceland and how your husband had random calls from strangers being like, hey, this guy should run. And you're like, oh, okay, thanks.

[Eliza Reed]

Yeah, I mean, the salient, I guess the salient points of that are that he, you know, he's kind of this, as I said, sort of bookish cardigan wearing history professor, expert on the presidents of Iceland, but had no intention of being in the spotlight, serving in that role himself and was writing a book on the presidents of Iceland. I mean, you can't make this up. And then he was the expert because he was neutral. And to comment on this political crisis when our prime minister resigned and all that, and the outgoing president had announced he wasn't going to run again, and people saw this man on television who was on for six hours one day, two months before the scheduled election. I would like to add, and said he'd be really good running for president. And they literally started calling our house. Our kids were 2, 4, 6 and 8 years old then. And I always remember too, once you kind of take this plunge, it was a seven week campaign. And I can't believe it, as I say it, we thought, we'll do it. You need, of course, a really happy family brochure. You know, like smiling family together. You know what it's like with young kids herding cats. Right. And a stylist called the house and said to me, can you describe your personal style? And I remember thinking, I still wear my maternity pants. And I last went shopping five years ago. And there was sort of silence on the other end, like, this is above my pay grade. But he came over, which took us eight hours to get a family, nice family photo, which is in the book. So it was, it was, it was thrown in the deep end for sure.

[Podcast Host (Interviewer)]

Another civics lesson. There are campaign finance limits. Yes. So you didn't have to worry about that.

[Eliza Reed]

Thank goodness. Yeah. So I mean, you know, that is, you start thinking and people say to me, well, how did you decide to do this? And the two things are, you know, would we ruin our children? How would it affect the people most important to us? And we thought, I think if we can keep them grounded and normalized, it might give them some interesting exposure to things in life and can we afford it? And as you said, there are these rules. We wouldn't have to remortgage the house. We wouldn't have to do that. And so then you just think, well, the stars have aligned in such a way, I should add, I guess the third one is, does he want to do it and would he do a good job? And then the stars align. You just think, let's just go for it. And if you try your best and it works, that's great. And if it doesn't work, you can say that you went for it and go back to our happy lives.

[Podcast Host (Interviewer)]

Now, a lot of spouses and candidate to be's would not say, let's just go for it. Like, that is a big leap. That's not just like, why not? Why don't we do it?

[Eliza Reed]

You know, it was so sudden. It was a really crazy, surreal feeling where you think, you know, I remember my husband saying at one point, you know, you're talking about, if you win, you go to state dinners and you dine in palaces with kings and queens. And he says, I don't even know how to hold my knife. And Fork properly and you're just having these crazy kind of mind bending dialogues in your head. But to me at least, or the way that I remember it, it was just the stars had just aligned or whatever you want to call that. It was just, we just had to try for it. And it did feel very much like a mutual family decision. I was really excited about it and stressed and nervous and all those healthy things. Right. But I think that that also shows you that you're growing personally. Like, I think if you were completely blase about it, it's not pushing your limits enough and you don't want to be paralyzed by fear, but just have those, enough of those butterflies that you know, okay, this is going to help me grow as a person. And I think a lot of people, I hope that's what a lot of people relate to in the book is that very few people are married to a head of state. But everybody's had those moments, right? Everybody's had those changes or those decisions. And even though they're positive, unexpected changes that make you think, what on earth is happening? How am I going to do this? Am I doing it right? How will I make the most of it? And, and how we kind of overcome those nerves or lean into that uncomfortable feeling to really make the most of it.

[Podcast Host (Interviewer)]

Yeah, I love this just say yes kind of philosophy.

[Eliza Reed]

Yeah. I mean, I don't know if I don't, like I could say that in retrospect.

[Podcast Host (Interviewer)]

Yeah. Right.

[Eliza Reed]

Well, I did just say yes once. Yeah.

[Capital One Bank Advertiser]

Yeah.

[Eliza Reed]

If you, if you could talk to total chaotic stress me, maybe 10 years ago, it would have been, it would have been different.

[Podcast Host (Interviewer)]

So you had small kids, you couldn't even escape for your 40th birthday trip to Paris, which like courses throughout the book of like you wanting to go and are you getting this trip? And then next thing you know, you're in a motorcade in France and your son is like, wait, are we paying for this? Like, what are we going to do? I love that line.

[Eliza Reed]

Exactly, exactly. Yeah. And it was also, that was an unusual thing when, after the election, when we went to watch Iceland play England in the men's football or soccer championship. And you know, he's president elect. He wasn't the president then, but still in France. Motorcade pulls up to the aircraft and our son says, do we pay for this? And again, when you drive up by motorcade to the three star hotel your friends booked on Hotwire, the management of the hotel also think it's an unusual experience. So it's like, it's Sort of worlds colliding. And there was a long time of that, you know, and it was sort of a balance. For me, at least, it was a balance of serving in this role that has no rule book. And I love to follow rules. I love to know what I'm allowed to do and which lane I'm supposed to drive in to, thinking, well, if there is no rule book, then I can't be breaking any rules, in a sense. But I didn't, you know, didn't wake up to that right away. And you want to keep that balance of serving with dignity, serving with responsibility in an office that the people in Iceland have a tremendous respect for their head of state, by and large, and for the president, for that institution. And so you want to. You want to do that with dignity and honor and integrity, but you also want to stay true to who you are as a person. Right. And so Eliza from the countryside, who buys shoes every 10 years, you have to sort of balance these two different things. And that was sometimes a challenge, but I hope that we did that well, ultimately.

[Podcast Host (Interviewer)]

Well, you have this whole sort of through line of the book, too, of being the spouse and not having an official role and wanting to help your husband but not wanting to lose yourself, which, again, is something that so many people can relate to. If your husband has a big job or whatever, and you're just, like, along for the ride, yet you carved out this whole life and niche for yourself, despite having the little kids at home. Right. Despite all of your commitments. Right.

[McDonald's Advertiser]

Yeah.

[Eliza Reed]

I mean, and I had a job.

[Jonathan Fields]

Yeah.

[Eliza Reed]

Like, I was working full time as well then with the kids. And I, you know, I won't say that I'm mom of the year or employer of the year or whatever I am. Right. I think one of the reasons we can do lots of things is that you kind of do them all middlingly. Well, I don't know. And I drink a lot of coffee. But I think you're right that, of course, in this moment, I was thrust onto the national stage as Goodney's wife. And I'm incredibly proud to be Goodney's wife. As you know, I think, again, many spouses, especially women, know this, but I wouldn't say it's my defining characteristic as a human being. And I wanted to make sure that a good thing. For sure, for sure. I mean, our lives, I'm so grateful to have this marriage and relationship, but to me, that's just one facet of a fulfilling life. It was also important to me, you know, when I moved to Iceland to build a life there. Of course I moved for him, but I wanted to stay for me. You know, I wanted my own job and hobbies and friends because I said that's one facet of a well rounded life. And yeah, I just wanted to make sure that Eliza wasn't lost in the shuffle. But it was a strange. There's obviously a lot of self doubt and you're thinking, am I doing this right? Am I allowed to do this? You know, I have a platform. People want to listen to me. But it's really my husband who achieved the platform. He ran for office, his name was on the ballot. And so you start to think, can I really use this platform? Can I speak up about issues that are important to me and things that I think are important or, you know, am I allowed to do it? And I don't know, sometimes you just have to sort of go for it. But. But I hope that I address a lot of that self doubt or the imposter syndrome with which we are all intimately familiar. I'm sure.

[Podcast Host (Interviewer)]

Well, you started writing and you started being incredibly vulnerable on the page, which is amazing.

[Eliza Reed]

Thank you.

[Podcast Host (Interviewer)]

And then everybody started relating so well to that. And not that they hadn't already.

[Eliza Reed]

Sure.

[Podcast Host (Interviewer)]

Such an open, like an open book and everything. But once you started, it sounds like writing and sharing your feelings. And then that caught on and that became its own thing that ultimately is culminated in this book. It changed your relationship to people and you took back sort of the narrative in a way.

[Eliza Reed]

Well, my. So my husband jokes, instead of calling me Eliza, he calls me Ann Eliza because I'm always overthinking, you know, what'll I do. And I wrote, for example, a piece in the New York Times, an op ed about serving as first lady and what that meant for feminism and women. And when I decided to write it, both as a writer. Right. Because that's a big deal to get published to the New York Times.

[Podcast Host (Interviewer)]

Thank you.

[Eliza Reed]

I was really excited about that. But I didn't ask anybody's permission. You know, I didn't talk to the staff of the president's office because I thought if I mention this, someone is going to tell me not to do it. And I don't have a rule book. It's not an official role. So I'm allowed to do whatever I want in theory. And of course. So I wrote this. I knew it was going to go live at a certain time and I just couldn't sleep the night before. I thought, what if? What have I done? Nobody asked me to do this. People are going to yell at me. They're going to say that I'm, you know, because you're in a privileged position. And sometimes when you're in that position, to call things out seems so petty. When there's so many huge crises in the world, right? To say this isn't working, or whatever. The people would say I'm an attention seeker or that I'm whining. What if they said I was a bad writer? That would be the worst. That would have really hit home. That would really hit home. But then I also realized, and I was like, I thought, you know what? Let's say all of those things happen, which they didn't, in fact, which is one lesson, but let's say they did. I still, you know, my husband supports me, my family life. I'm not going to lose my job. I'm not going to fear for my safety. Like, I'm also risking a lot less by speaking up about things. And therefore, I felt even more obligation to do so. And I realized that in fact, you know, a large majority or everything that I heard, I got so many positive comments from people saying, thank you for calling these things out. Even though they're small, you know, even though they're little. So many, what I would call paper cuts of things, they still have to be called out because we don't. We don't realize. And then we don't change if we don't acknowledge that these things exist.

[Zibby Owens]

Today's episode is sponsored by Quince. Summer always makes me rethink what I'm reaching for every day. Lighter fabrics, better materials, pieces that just feel good the most moment you put them on and look effortless. That's why I keep coming back to Quints. They focus on high quality essentials. Think breathable linen, soft, organic cotton, washable silk, but without the luxury markup. It's that rare balance where everything feels elevated but still easy. Quince has beautiful everyday pieces like 100% European linen pants, dresses and tops. With styles starting at $32, they're dead. Denim is soft and easy to wear. I wear my jean jacket all the time. And their organic cotton sweaters are perfect for layering on cool summer nights. Everything at Quint's is priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands. Quince works directly with ethical factories and cuts out the middlemen. So you're paying for quality, not brand markup. And it's not just clothing. Quince has really become a destination for elevated essentials across home, kitchen, bedding and beyond, making it easy to bring a more premium feel into everyday life. In addition to my jean jacket, I recently got a white tank top dress with a beautiful cotton skirt that is absolutely gorgeous and I can't wait for it to be warm enough so I can wear it every day. But it has been a cool spring. Elevate your summer wardrobe. Go to quince.com zibby for free shipping on your order and 365 day return returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com zibby for free Shipping and 365 day returns. Quints.com zibby

[Capital One Bank Advertiser]

with no fees or minimums on checking accounts, it's no wonder the Capital One bank guy is so passionate about banking with Capital One. If he were here, he wouldn't just tell you about no fees or minimums. He'd also talk about how most Capital One cafes are open seven days a week to assist with your banking needs. Yep, even on weekends it's pretty much all he talks about in a good way. What's in your wallet? Terms apply. See capitalone.com Bank Capital One NA Member FDIC

[Jonathan Fields]

hi, this is Jonathan Fields, host of the Good Life Project. What if your home could welcome you at the door, energize your kitchen and calm your bedroom all automatically. With Pura's family of smart diffusers, you can send every space perfectly, choose premium clean fragrances, adjust the intensity and set schedules right from your phone. It's whole home scenting designed for the way you live. Build your Pura system [e-mail] Wholehome

[Podcast Host (Interviewer)]

Wait, let's go back to the New York Times. Okay, so you don't tell anyone you're doing this, do you? Just told my husband like an op [e-mail] how did you even do it?

[Eliza Reed]

I basically so I'd written a Facebook post that was about an Instagram post someone had done that. I remember kind of being offended by to reduce these spouses of world leaders to sort of muses for their husband's genius. And I remember at first thinking, you know, it's too bad I'm first lady because if it weren't I post about this on Facebook. And then again I thought, oh, I don't have a rule book. I do have a blue checked Facebook account. So I wrote a Facebook post which got really good feedback and I had a friend who I had worked with at an English language magazine. She said you should try to pitch this to a newspaper. And again I thought, no, I'd love to write in a newspaper, but I'm not allowed to. I'm first lady. And then I thought, wait a minute. No rulebook. So I knew one person who worked at the New York Times, so I wrote to her, not in the op Ed section, and I said, who do I send a pitch to? And she gave me a name. And so basically, I did pitch. Like, everybody pitches.

[Podcast Host (Interviewer)]

Oh, my gosh.

[Eliza Reed]

Yeah. So I did, as so many writers and people who want to do, crafted a pitch with my bio in the background and the hook, and they liked it and decided to publish it. So it's always worth a shot. If someone has a good idea, a timely idea, that's awesome. And. Yeah, and it really helped me later on. A lot of people saw that story. Someone even. Actually, I remember someone who worked then at the White House in the press corps, retweeted the story and said she thought the first lady of Finland was a badass. I remember thinking, you're welcome, Finland.

[Podcast Host (Interviewer)]

What else can I do for you? Yeah, yeah, exactly. Oh, my gosh. Well, then you have kind of a different experience with the media later on, because your body image and, like, how you started dressing and looking and your. Your size, like all the things. All these sort of superficial things. Yes. Started changing and that.

[Eliza Reed]

Yeah. And that was important for me to write, actually, in the book, because as you can see now, I mean, I've never been a supermodel, but I feel most people haven't. It's also true. Also true. I feel very comfortable in my skin, and I always believe, and I still believe, that 90% of looking good is feeling good about yourself, and then the rest can help or enhance. But that, to me, is the really fundamental. And I do feel good about myself. I do not feel good about my. How. How I choose clothing or how I accessorize. Like, I don't have a lot of confidence in. In doing it the right way. And when I was first lady, as I was saying, you know, I had these four kids, never went to the gym. It just wasn't a priority for me. I wasn't thinking I should. You know, you've got. For. You know, I don't go to the gym.

[Podcast Host (Interviewer)]

It's not. It's not exactly.

[Eliza Reed]

I'm like a glass of red wine after dinner. Sure. Yeah, sure. Exactly. So when I was first laid, I was like, I think I'll. Maybe I'll try to carve out some time at the gym. You know, I'm in the public all the time and just Doing that without anything crazy. I lost a lot of weight, as you know. It's funny how regular exercise will do that. No, no, no. But. But it's just priorities in life. And then everyone kept talking to me about this, you know, oh, you look so good. What's your secret?

[Podcast Host (Interviewer)]

What are you doing?

[Eliza Reed]

And it actually kind of drove me nuts because I was thinking it comes from a nice place, of course. But I would say, like, it's just because I'd go to gym more. If you went to the gym more too, you would also, like, it's just how people prioritize their time. And I also knew that I wouldn't always be like that because I won't always have time to go to the gym. And everyone wanted to write stories about it. And I thought, can you talk about the speech that I gave and not, you know, how I look? And so I never commented on it publicly at the time because I knew that that's all people would talk about. And I didn't want to do that. And I just think that perpetuates this idea of women. And that's all we can talk about with women. But in the book, I thought, no, I'm, you know, I can address. I can address some of these issues there and hopefully in a way that reinforces. It says, look, if this is how you want to. If we all had a personal chef who cooked these things for us and at certain time, and a personal trainer who did all this and, and, and carved out those moments, we would all look like supermodels. But we don't all have time to do that. And that is okay. And I just need to feel good with ourselves.

[Podcast Host (Interviewer)]

That is also not true. We would not all. Look, there are like 0.00.

[Eliza Reed]

Yeah. There are also genetic things. Yeah.

[Podcast Host (Interviewer)]

And why be a supermodel, by the way, then supermodels have all this trouble aging.

[Eliza Reed]

Yes.

[Podcast Host (Interviewer)]

They stake their whole lives on, you know, I mean, they have their own set of issues.

[Eliza Reed]

They really do.

[Podcast Host (Interviewer)]

Grass is always greener.

[Eliza Reed]

The grass. I like that. The grass is always greener. And so I think if there's one thing we can all do, it's we spend some. I say we. And I think maybe I mean women by that or not so much of the mental load when we are already taking on so many different tasks. Right. Also thinking about all the things we're not taking on and why aren't we doing this? And why aren't we doing this better or faster or easier priority. But we all have the 24 hours in a day that everybody else has. And so what I try not to do is spend a lot of that time because I have other things to do. If I'm going to say, look, I'm not going to go to the gym, that's because I'm busy writing a book or delivering speeches or doing something with the kids or with my husband. And that's how I choose to spend that time because. But not also losing sleep over thinking, why am I not at the gym? Why am I not at the gym?

[Podcast Host (Interviewer)]

Well, speaking of all the other things you do talk about the Iceland Writers retreat.

[Eliza Reed]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host (Interviewer)]

Everything that you do with that. And that's the first time I heard of you. Really. Yeah. Was at the beginning of the podcast. I feel like you were one of my first sponsors. Something happened with us, right? It was so long ago.

[McDonald's Advertiser]

It was.

[Eliza Reed]

It was probably 10 years ago now, eh? Yeah, I think so.

[Podcast Host (Interviewer)]

Anyway.

[Eliza Reed]

Yeah, it was a long time ago. Well, time flies. That shows us. Yeah. The Iceland Writers is something that a friend of mine and I founded in 2014. And so it's for anybody who likes writing. And I think it's a little bit like if you take a cooking class, you know, in Italy, because you like to cook, you might be Michelin's chef, or you might like to tinker in the kitchen. And this is that for writing. So whether you are a published author, want to publish an author, don't want to publish a book, but just like to write, you can come to Iceland in the capital Reykjavik, which is a UNESCO city of literature, and take writing classes from. We have just different writers who come every year, different faculty. But then we also introduce people to Iceland's literary heritage. So we'll have a, you know, a day tour in Iceland, but it's led by a writer this year is my husband. He came cheap because he's not president anymore. You know, led by a writer. We have readings there. So you get to do these sort of touristic things in Iceland that you can't do if you come on your own. Otherwise in the environment of a bunch of people who just enjoy writing and talking about the craft of writing, you know, it's not about getting an agent or publishing your book. It's just about telling your story.

[Podcast Host (Interviewer)]

That's amazing. When's the next one?

[Eliza Reed]

The next one is in mid April 2027. So we just finished one. There is lots of time. In fact, people who sign up before June 1st get a huge discount. Our early bird discount.

[Podcast Host (Interviewer)]

Oh my goodness. Do you have your faculty lined up?

[Eliza Reed]

We Don't. So we haven't announced that yet. And actually, I'm sure, and I'm saying online that people who find out through the podcast, we can give a sort of friends and family discount. I'll have to send you details on that. So special, special offer for you.

[Podcast Host (Interviewer)]

Oh, my gosh, that would be wonderful.

[Eliza Reed]

Thank you. That's because when you run it, you get to make these live executive decisions without consulting. Like, okay, I'm saying it now. Making the decision.

[Podcast Host (Interviewer)]

I was doing something like that this morning. I was like, I did a giveaway online. I was like, well, but I want to give everybody who entered something. How should I do that? And you're like, I could just go on our website and make a code and not even tell anybody.

[Eliza Reed]

But you're like, I'm in charge.

[Podcast Host (Interviewer)]

Wait a minute.

[Eliza Reed]

You get to do it?

[Podcast Host (Interviewer)]

Kind of.

[Eliza Reed]

I mean, it would be good to

[Podcast Host (Interviewer)]

check, but anyway, anyway.

[Eliza Reed]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host (Interviewer)]

And then towards the end of the book, you also talk about what does identity look like after some of these major roles? Because a lot of people in life have a role that's like, all, you know, lit up for a certain time, whether it's an athlete or a teacher or something. And then when that ends, who are we?

[Eliza Reed]

I know. Well, we have, you know, at these different points in lives, we're kind of assigned these labels, whether that is author or entrepreneur or mother, wife or whatever it is. And you're kind of wondering, does that restrain me?

[Podcast Host (Interviewer)]

Does that.

[Eliza Reed]

Does that help me grow? And certainly I was thinking about it when my husband's time as president ended because I'd been so much in the first lady label, which was an honor and a privilege, which I loved it. But as you can see, I'm incredibly young. Still. Joke, you know, this is a big I'm turning joke. I'm turning 50.

[Podcast Host (Interviewer)]

Yeah, I know.

[Eliza Reed]

It's a big year for us, right? So actually recording this. I'm turning 50 tomorrow. So it's like. Yeah, so it's like a big, like, thinking about it. It's a full circle moment because my book is published 10 years the day after my husband announced he was running for president on my 40th birthday. So who knows what happens when I turn 60, but it shows you. All I'm saying is that I feel like I have a lot more to do, more adventures to have. And you do spend time thinking about that, but I think we don't. Obviously, I don't know what those unexpected moments are going to be. Right. What I hope that I've tried To learn. I hope that the experience, the contacts, the fun that I've had doing this, I can build on that. But I also hope that it's helped to reinforce for me that whenever the next exciting thing comes along, I'll feel confident enough to lean into that uncertainty and really make the most of it.

[Podcast Host (Interviewer)]

Do you ever regret saying yes?

[Eliza Reed]

No.

[Podcast Host (Interviewer)]

Amazing.

[Eliza Reed]

No.

[Podcast Host (Interviewer)]

What's the most crazy thing you and your husband have talked about for the next decade?

[Eliza Reed]

Oh, like, looking forward. Oh, my gosh. I don't know. I think we're both in the sort of decompress mode still, so less thinking about new adventures. But also we recall, I mean, and I tell some of the stories, like wardrobe malfunctions with royalty and all these, you know, strange moments going to the White House and President Biden calling my mom.

[Podcast Host (Interviewer)]

That was amazing.

[Eliza Reed]

Oh, my God. So there's, you know, eating a goat's brain in Oman.

[Podcast Host (Interviewer)]

Like, there's.

[Eliza Reed]

There's, you know. But the key thing, actually, those remind me those sound like these sort of glamorous, surreal stories. And they are. But really what sticks with me are the. It sounds everyday because they weren't. But that we got to meet just regular people all the time. We got to meet the volunteers, the people who would be fundraising for health equipment somewhere, who led a choir or started a puppetry festival, all of these things. And it really reminds, you know, most people are good people. And if you think of the people around you in your networks, they're not all going to change the world, but they're all doing that little bit every day. And I think we all need to be reminded of that now. You know, we all need to know that most people want to do their part to nudge things in the right direction. And I hope that's what I did. And I'm so grateful that I had the opportunity to meet so many people who are also doing that in their own way.

[Podcast Host (Interviewer)]

Well, I feel like from the universe's perspective, it was, like, meant to be that you would take on this job. There you go.

[Eliza Reed]

I hope so. I hope so. It was just. It was such a tremendous honor, and I'm really grateful for it.

[Podcast Host (Interviewer)]

Well, thank you for letting us all behind the scenes.

[Eliza Reed]

Thank you.

[Podcast Host (Interviewer)]

Telling us everything, not telling, showing us everything we learned. And congrats. I know you're already a bestseller in Canada.

[Eliza Reed]

It's so exciting. Thank you so much. And thanks for all that you're doing for book lovers and writing around the world, too. You're so welcome. All right, great.

[Podcast Host (Interviewer)]

Happy early birthday.

[Eliza Reed]

Ah, likewise. Okay.

[Zibby Owens]

Thank you for listening to Totally Booked with Zibi formerly Moms don't have time to to read books. If you loved the show, tell a friend, leave a review, follow me on Instagram, ippyowens and spread the word. Thanks so much. Oh, and buy the books.

[Capital One Bank Advertiser]

With no fees or minimums on checking accounts. It's no wonder the Capital One bank guy is so passionate about banking with Capital One. If he were here, we he wouldn't just tell you about no fees or minimums. He'd also talk about how most Capital One cafes are open seven days a week to assist with your banking needs. Yep, even on weekends it's pretty much all he talks about in a good way. What's in your wallet? Terms apply. See capital1.com Bank Capital One NA member FDIC

[McDonald's Advertiser]

the 2026 FIFA World cup meal at McDonald's is underway with one of nine legendary cups in the lineup. Christian Pulisic, David Beckham, Lamine Yamal, Ronaldinho, Thierry Henry, Son Hyung Min, Alphonso Davies, Santi Jimenez and between the posts, it's Grimace. Get one of nine collectible cups with a FIFA World cup meal at participating McDonald's for a limited time while supplies last. All rights reserved. 20:26 McDonald's at FIFA World Cup 20:26

[Podcast Host (Interviewer)]

Our trip up the coast was perfection.

[Zibby Owens]

With my Sapphire Preferred card, we earned three times the points on gas, online, grocery and dining.

[Capital One Bank Advertiser]

It was amazing.

[Zibby Owens]

Chase Sapphire preferred the card that's preferred for a reason. Cards issued by JPMorgan Chase bank and a member FDIC subject to credit approval. Terms apply.