← Totally Booked with Zibby
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Welcome to Totally Booked. I'm Zibby Owens. I've interviewed more than 2,000 authors on this show and learned endless amounts about storytelling, reinvention and life itself. Because when you talk about books, you're really talking about life.
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So get ready to hear from today's
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best authors, the best selling and the not yet discovered. Come find your next great read and the story behind it. Enjoy. Emily Giffen is back on Totally Booked. I think for maybe the third or fourth time. I don't even know. She writes so much for her new book, Love youe. More. Emily Giffen is the author of 12 internationally best selling novels including Something Borrowed, Something Blue, Babyproof, Love, the One youe're With, Heart of the Matter, Where We Belong, the One and Only, First Comes Love, All We Ever Wanted, the Lies that Bind, Meant To Be and the Summer Pact. She lives in Atlanta with her family and two dogs.
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Welcome back, Emily. Thank you so much for coming on to discuss.
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Love you More.
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Congrats.
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C
It's great to be here. Thank you, Siby.
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B
You're welcome. Thank you for taking me to Southampton and Wisconsin and all over the place. It was total.
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C
It was a trip.
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B
I feel like I went on an adventure through your characters. So thank you.
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C
That's so nice to hear.
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B
New York City bars and all the rest. It was just great.
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C
The Dr. World, that required a lot of research. I'm not in the doctor world. This is the first time I've written a doctor character and I was like, yeah, just the research alone. I'm like, how do these people do it? But how did, how did you do that?
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B
Do you talk to friends who were in that world or. You read a lot?
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C
Yeah, a little bit and just, you know, just googling. But it was. It's always fun to give someone a profession that's so different from your own. It's so much easier when you're writing about a writer. But we're a lawyer in my case. But that seems like a million years ago. But.
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B
Well, it's good because it made me feel like I was learning too. So that's good. Tell listeners what Love youe More is about.
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C
Sure. Love you More follows Billy Wright, a successful doctor living and working in New York City, engaged to this wonderful man she adores. And her life really seems perfect until she gets this call from her first love. She pulls her back to her hometown in Wisconsin and, you know, forces her to really question everything she thought she wanted.
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B
You have a really fabulous engagement scene. Thank you for that too. The surprise and the Paris I mean, it happens early. I feel like I'm not giving anything away, but.
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C
No, you're not. It was fun to write that. It's so romantic. Almost as romantic as this, the Taylor Swift wedding. Right.
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B
I know. Are you just, like, hanging on every minute of this?
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C
For sure. But, yeah, so, you know, I felt with. With love you more writing about this, you know, the path not taken. Something so relatable to, you know, we all think about our first love in the One who Got Away. And not necessarily because we, you know, are idealizing them or we wish we were still with them over our current partner, but just sort of what would have happened if we had taken that path and what would our life look like? Yeah.
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B
Sometimes I wonder sometimes, like, what those kids would have been like, too.
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C
Yeah, right, right. What would those kids have been like? Would they be. Would they be taller? Would they be more intelligent? Yeah. I mean, you're always so. That's one thing, I think, that keeps people, even in failed relationships and failed marriages, from really wishing they had taken another path if they have children. Because you'd always, you know, you want your children. You wouldn't switch them with any other child. So I think that helps. But again, it's just sort of like that sliding doors concept, you know, that Gwyneth Paltrow movie, which I loved then for the same reason. Just because the whole idea of, you know, you're at this fork in the road and you make a decision, even something like where you go to college can impact the whole rest of your life. You know, the first job. And certainly relationships are the cornerstone of all of that. So, you know, I. It was really fun to write this book and give Billy, our heroine, our doctor, with this perfect life in New York, engaged to this wonderful man. And, you know, someone told me who read the book recently, a reporter said she kept. And this isn't giving anything away either, but she kept sort of waiting for one of the guys to be a jerk. That, you know, and that makes it too easy, I think, because neither guy is a jerk. And it's just sort of different paths. Right. And different sides of her.
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B
So do you believe in this notion
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of a soulmate or not?
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You know, in a lot of ways, I'm a romantic, and I do believe sort of in true love, but I think it's so much more than a soulmate you have to. Or a true love you have to meet at the right point in your life. And so timing is so critical to that, and you can really meet the person who is Like a soulmate or is like, you know, feels like the love of your life, but if the timing doesn't work, it doesn't work. And I. I think that that is happening more and more these days because people, Women are so career driven in ways that they weren't, you know, with even older Gen X's or certainly our parents. We're not the same age, but, you know, give or take. But I think now certainly, you know, I have friends who. Whose children have just graduated from college. Mine just. My twins just graduated from college, my twin sons. But, you know, there. I know of one couple and he works for NASA and he just very much has to be in Houston. And she lives in New York. She's a writer, sort of in a creative field, and she wants to stay in New York. Her friends are in New York. She loves New York City. She doesn't want to move to Houston. And they're still very much together. But at what point does geography, you know, break a couple up? Or just the timing. Maybe she'd want to settle down in Houston if she were a little older, but, you know, and maybe they'll make it work for those years. But it's timing is critical, I think. It really is.
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B
I just. There's an essay we published by this woman, Christy Casper, and she. Her husband got a new job, like in a totally different part of Canada. And the whole essay was like how she was gonna have to up, you know, uproot her whole life and change everything. And I literally wrote her after, and I was like, do you think maybe you could stay? Like, he could go.
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Like, it's none of my business.
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Like, I'm sure. She was like, get out of my life. And I'm like, really?
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Doesn't sound like you wanna make this move.
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Maybe you'd be happier apart.
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What did she say? What did she say?
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Oh, she said, actually, we win. And it was fine. And, you know, it's all good. That was. And I was like, okay, sorry, I won't stop prying in your life. But, you know, I guess prying into other people's lives is part of what makes us so interested in books and fictitious people and, you know, exploring all these things is like, as you said, the what if? And, you know, could you make it work this way and what if we did it that way? And that's what life is all about.
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C
Right, Right. That's. It really is. Yeah. And relationships can be fluid and, you know.
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B
Did you debate the ending? Did you always know the ending to this book?
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C
So usually When I sit down to write a book, I have a beginning, middle, and an end in mind. And so I, you know, I have that loosely in mind. And then the plot sort of flows from the characters, but very often I. The ending changes. And I think in this case. Well, I know in this case, it did. It did change. I had one idea of what I thought, how it would work out. And then you get to know the characters right in the beginning. They're like strangers. You know, they're people that you've just met and new friends. I should say, not strangers completely because you're sort of in their life. But as you write the book and get to know them more and more, you sort of are like, no, she wouldn't do that. She would do this. And then, of course, you get to know the ancillary characters more. There's not a true antagonist in this book, but the men and understand her friendship with Aaron. And then sort of. That tailors the direction of the book in some ways.
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B
So when you were writing it, did you find yourself rooting for one outcome more than another, or do you just let it go?
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You know, at various points, I found myself, you know, when I was writing a scene, you know, one scene, I would be rooting for one character. And, you know, and that's. I mean, isn't that true to life, too? Haven't you ever been in a situation where it's like you want two things?
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Yes.
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the same time, or you're torn about a job, or you're torn about where to live, or you're torn about, in some cases, a relationship. It can happen.
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It can happen 100%.
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A
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Are you feeling torn about anything now?
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In my own life.
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In your own life, yeah.
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Well, you know, I think, yeah, I'm at a juncture right now with. I have three children. As I mentioned. Two just graduated from college. They were in Columbia in the city. And. Yeah, thank you. It feels like a, it feels like a big deal. But then my daughter is a senior in high school and she's going off to college. So I am like a true empty nester. And since we last saw each other, I think we saw each other four years ago. I mean we've talked since. But four years ago was face to face. I think my son Edward was with me and we were at a book. I am divorced. I don't know if you knew that, but yes. So surprise. I've been divorced for two years now. But so, you know, I have friends who talk about being an empty nester. I'm a true empty nester. It's just my dog and me. I guess not. It's true. If it weren't for Hank, I'd be the truest form of empty nesting. But you know, yes, I would say the crossroads is like I can as a writer, I can write anywhere, I can live anywhere. You know, my children, my last child has graduated from high school tying me to Atlanta. So I wouldn't say necessarily torn, but very open. My life is very open ended now. You know, where do I want to live and, and you know, do I want to stay in this house? Do you want to go somewhere else? Do I stay in this house? Just travel a lot. So it's exciting. It's, you know, it's a mixed bag. It's bittersweet. I'll miss her so much. I'll miss Harriet, my daughter, so much. She's such a, she's such a presence, such a vibrant presence in this house. And my life has really revolved around her and the kids for so long. But this is an opportunity and I'm really trying not to be the trope of an empty nester, you know, the grieving parent who. I don't know what I'm going to do. It's going to be hard. It's going to be different. But I'm. I'm excited.
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B
I feel like I can see this on the horizon. Not as soon as you. I mean, my two are. My older. My twins are going to college. My twins are going to college in the fall, but I still.
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C
Are they really?
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Yeah, yeah.
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But I have two others at home who are still little ish middle schoolers, so I have time, but it's hard not to think about the after. Right. And then the more I learn about people who already are in the emptiness phase, the more it feels like people think responsibilities end and yet they really don't. Like there's so many more things on your plate than you think. Like, you can't just like take off and go to Jamaica for like six months or something. Do you know what I mean? Like, there's still so much life stuff related to everything else and new demands and parents and aging parents. It's just still like this crazy time that I think that is misrepresented a little bit.
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C
Yeah, yeah. You can never really let go and really push your responsibilities. I mean, you know, we both are career women and you mentioned aging parents. My mother's going through some things. It sounds like you might be experiencing that too. And so, yeah, there's always responsibilities, but in terms of carving out what your life can look like. And that's something that I also, you know, love to explore in my books. Quite a few of them have a moment in time where it's like, you know, something happens that forces the person to examine the life they're living and decide if they're on the right path. And sometimes those things come about. I mean, my first novel, Something Borrowed, she. She just turning 30 made her, you know, kind of, oh my Gosh, I'm turning 30. Like, what am I doing? You know, which seems now at 54, I'm like, what was she so worried about? 30s? Like, might as well be 20. But, you know, these, these various points in your life for Billy came with this phone call. She gets this phone call, she learns of this thing that happened. You know, she rushes back to her hometown and, you know, revisits this, you know, chapter in her life that she thought was very much closed. So, yeah, I think that happens in real life and it definitely happens in my fiction. That that is one thing theme that I think that I examine a lot. And this idea of female friendship is just at the heart of all my books. And this is very much. Even though it's about a romantic love, it's also very much about female friendship. And, you know, having that, in a way, your first true love, your oldest friend. And, you know, those friendships really get us through our lives. You know, for some men it's true, but certainly I think for women, I don't know what I would have done without my friends over the last couple of years. And I think, you know, Billie, our heroine in the book, has her friend from the past, Aaron, and then her new friends in New York City that are newer friends who are, you know, doctors with her, her partners at her fertility clinic. And those layers of friendship and how friendships come in cycles. What you need at one point in your life might not be what you need at a later point in. And they ebb and flow, but you have certain friends that are just like this common thread throughout your life. And so that's obviously something that. Again, going back to something Borrowed, which I'm mentioning, just because it's my first book, but that was very much about a female friendship and whether, you know, that was a true friendship or whether it was time, magenta and a friend. Sometimes that happens, right? A friendship becomes toxic and we, you know, we reinvent ourselves in, in some way or shape or form. And then we decide like, this friendship's no longer, you know, serving me. Which sounds very callous, but that's part of life, right? Like, it's really, you know, we evolve, they evolve. And I think that's okay to honor the time you had together and then sometimes, you know, move on. That, that doesn't really happen in this book. But no spoilers. You'll, you'll see.
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Oh, I'm. Without female friendships, where would we be, right?
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100%.
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I totally agree. Are you working on a new book? Like, is that part of this plan of your life?
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So for sure, yes. I think I'll write until I can't. Until hopefully I don't develop some sort of memory loss problem. But it's like that's the one thing about being a writer. You can just be in your rocking chair and just writing as a little old lady. So I have been in a pattern now for, like, probably 15 years of publishing every other year. So that has worked nicely for me. I was doing one a year and that felt like attorney hours. Like when I was a. A young associate at a law firm, it felt like that demanding. And so I Went to every other year and it's a nice lifestyle or I sort of work 40 hours a week and, you know. Right. Working on the marketing side and to my social media, which is part of my job that I enjoy. And. Yeah. So a book in two years. And let's just say some of the themes that we talked about on this call of emptiness, marriage and divorce and friendship are definitely going to be examined in this next book. Not yet titled. Titles are so hard for me. But I love the title.
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B
Love you more. I mean, I want to give it to all my kids just based on the title alone, you know, because we say that to each other. I mean, so many people say that, but.
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C
Yeah.
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B
Such a perfect gift even just to say I love you to someone you're thinking of or a good friend or something.
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C
Well, thank you. I hope. I really hope people like it. I mean, there's this moment. The book's out, you know, a couple weeks. I'm not sure when this airs, but. But it's. You have these characters in your head and your editor and your agent and a few close friends have read them. But you're. I'm just so excited to introduce these people to my readers. And there's this feeling of, you know, every book that I write, I want there to be readers who say, this is my favorite book you've ever written. And, you know, that's been true all along. Like, it's, you know, you write a new one and you're like, oh, what if people don't love this one? Not. It's not going to be everyone's favorite. But you want there to be a group of readers who are like, this is my favorite. And I. I feel confident that that's going to happen with this book. Book. It has a little bit of a feeling of some of my older books, of the nostalgia and the romance, but I think it has the point of view and hopefully the wisdom of a slightly older person who I am. So, yeah. I'm just so excited for people to meet Billy and Mick and Dean and Aaron and these people who feel very real to me.
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B
They feel real to me now, too. Yeah. Love that, Emily. Thank you so much. And, you know, I'm. I'm like more than a decade after my divorce, but I'm here if you have any questions.
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C
Well, thank you. I might be hitting you up there, but I appreciate that. And look, we're. We both came out of the other side just fine.
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B
That's right.
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So, yeah.
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New treasures.
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C
Yes, exactly. Well, thank you so much for having me. And thank you for all you do for, for. For books and for readers and particularly female writers. And just really, we. We appreciate you, Zibby.
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B
Oh, thank you. Thank you. Okay.
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Have a great summer. Happy summer. You too.
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B
Okay, you too.
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C
Bye.
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B
Bye.
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A
Thank you for listening to Totally Booked with Zibby, formerly Moms don't have time to read Books. If you loved the show, tell a friend, leave a review, follow me on Instagram, ibbeowens and spread the word. Thanks so much. Oh, and buy the books.