Totally Booked with Zibby

Guest: Jen Butler, Author of Mom, Rediscovered: My Midlife Breakup with Drinking and Diet Culture
Host: Zibby Owens
Date: November 10, 2025

Episode Overview

In this warm, deeply honest episode, Zibby Owens welcomes Jen Butler to discuss her memoir, Mom, Rediscovered, which chronicles Jen’s transformative journey through motherhood, midlife, sobriety, and breaking up with diet culture. Together, they unpack Jen’s experiences with “wine mom” culture, the challenges and liberation of sobriety, growing up amidst pervasive diet culture, and the ongoing process of self-acceptance. The episode is suffused with mutual admiration, candid storytelling, and practical wisdom for women navigating similar struggles.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Meeting and Connection (03:28–07:14)

• Zibby and Jen share the story of how they met at a New York women’s literary event—described by Jen as “an incredible full circle moment.”
• Jen recounts initially hesitating over the event’s price, ultimately attending, and feeling immediately welcomed by Zibby’s warmth.
• Quote:
  Jen (04:12): “A friend who is a huge reader...said to me, there’s this woman, Zibby Owens, and I think you would really jibe with her...I put myself on the wait list, and then a spot opened up and I thought, well, I guess it was meant to be.”
• Zibby and Jen discuss their evolving friendship, rooted in authentic sharing, supportive writing, and connecting over their innermost thoughts (06:33).

The Book: Mom, Rediscovered – Origins and Themes (07:14–09:35)

• Jen describes her memoir as a “coming of middle age” story (07:21). The core: her transition from “dream-come-true” motherhood to dealing with unexpected struggles—leaving her career, facing isolation, and succumbing to wine mom culture’s normalization of drinking to cope.
• She candidly relates her journey through “gray area drinking” and how quitting revealed underlying issues: identity beyond motherhood and entanglement in diet culture.
• Quote:
  Jen (08:07): “I fell into what I call gray area drinking...realized that for me, that became a problem. How I got myself out of that, and then what my life has been like since then.”
• Jen stresses that sobriety is not a cure-all; it exposes other challenges to be addressed.

Gray Area Drinking and Wine Mom Culture (09:59–12:56)

• Jen explains “gray area drinking”—not at clinical addiction, but problematic enough to spiral, needing self-intervention.
  Jen (10:06): “I can’t go for more than a day or two without drinking...I would wake up anywhere from groggy to fully hungover...say, ‘Forget it, I’m not drinking tonight,’ and by 5 PM, like clockwork, I would be reaching for the wine.”
• The role of “wine mom” culture, which normalizes and glorifies drinking as essential self-care for moms, making it hard to recognize or address patterns as unhealthy.
• Quote:
  Jen (12:25): “Wine mom culture is all about, like, wine is a tool you need to survive motherhood. And I fully bought into that because I was feeling so isolated in my struggles as a mom.”

Diet Culture: A Lifelong Struggle (13:33–20:58)

• Growing up in the ‘80s and ‘90s, Jen internalized “thinness as the goal” and began dieting at age 12, mirroring her mother’s Weight Watchers participation.
• Quote:
  Jen (17:48): “I tried Weight Watchers for the first time when I was 12. My mom was on it...And even then, I remember tracking my points and feeling hungry, and it just—it just felt awful.”
• Throughout her life, Jen’s self-worth remained entangled with her body’s size and the quest to “take up less space.”
• During COVID, the pressure peaked; she worked with a restrictive nutritionist—until, burned out by deprivation, she finally let go and moved toward body appreciation over thinness.
• Jen now teaches fitness, promoting presence and gratitude over striving for an aesthetic ideal, though old doubts persist.

Practice, Not Perfection — Self-Acceptance & Advice (20:50–23:16)

• Zibby asks whether hitting “rock bottom” is necessary for change. Jen insists it isn’t: Jen (21:44): “You do not have to hit rock bottom in any area of your life. I didn’t hit rock bottom with my drinking. I didn’t hit rock bottom with breaking up with diet culture. But I got to a point where I had had enough.”
• Jen’s mantra is “practice”—acceptance is ongoing work.
  Jen (22:00): “Practice is one of my favorite words...You just have to try and try and try...it will never be done. It will get easier, but it will never be necessarily easy, but you just have to keep going.”

From Blogger to Book Author: The Path to Publishing (23:16–25:55)

• Jen’s long-standing desire to write a book began with journaling in adolescence. Originally envisioning “quit-lit,” she expanded her focus to encompass the broader arc of motherhood and self-rediscovery.
• She almost pivoted to a self-help book but, after advice from Zibby, stayed committed to telling her authentic story.
• Quote:
  Jen (24:12): “I sent a DM to Zibby Owens and I said, hey Zibby, what do you think of this idea? And Zibby said to me, ‘Jen, I’m going to be honest with you. Don’t try to play the market, write from your heart. Everybody has a story to share. Everybody’s story is worth sharing.’”
• Both celebrate the empowerment of sharing true, “ordinary” stories and encouraging others to do the same.

Vulnerability and Impact (26:06–28:40)

• Zibby asks if Jen feels exposed with her story in the world. Jen admits parts—her relationships, sexuality, struggles with PMDD—feel deeply vulnerable, but reader feedback has already validated her candor.
• Quote:
  Jen (26:21): “I share very vulnerably about everything from, like...I talk about how I lost my virginity. I talk about some sex stuff...But...I have already had advanced readers come up to me and say, ‘Thank you so much for sharing this...I think I have that [PMDD], I gotta go talk to my doctor.’...they no longer feel they are alone in their struggles makes it all worth it.”

Looking Forward — What’s Next for Jen (29:05–30:29)

• Jen hints at a possible future memoir still in the living-and-learning stage, but her focus is shifting to fiction, inspired by a dinner conversation with her kids.
• She’s excited and intimidated by her first foray into a “dual timeline forbidden love story,” set in a place formative to her own life.
• Quote:
  Jen (29:32): “I’ve never written fiction before, but I am so fired up about this story—it will not let go. It’s like it’s keeping me up at night, it’s waking me up in the morning, and I’m really excited about it.”

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “You do not have to hit rock bottom in any area of your life...I got to a point where I had enough.” — Jen Butler (21:44)
• “Don’t try to play the market, write from your heart. Everybody has a story to share. Everybody’s story is worth sharing.” — Zibby Owens (24:12, paraphrased)
• “Practice is one of my favorite words...It’s never necessarily easy, but it is easier, for sure.” — Jen Butler (22:00)
• “I hope everyone who hears this also takes that advice [to tell their stories], because...we all have stories that are worth sharing.” — Jen Butler (25:55)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 03:28 — Jen and Zibby’s first meeting, event backstory
• 07:14 — Jen introduces Mom, Rediscovered and its central themes
• 10:06 — Defining “gray area drinking,” personal experience
• 12:25 — The normalization of “wine mom” culture
• 17:48 — Jen’s first experiences with diet culture & family influence
• 21:44 — The “enough is enough” moment; the role of practice
• 23:31 — From journals to memoir; advice from Zibby
• 26:21 — Vulnerability in memoir, reaching readers
• 29:05 — Jen’s next creative steps, fiction writing

Tone & Style

The conversation is empathetic, encouraging, and highly relatable—marked by vulnerability, mutual endorsement, and the welcoming air of personal storytelling among friends. Both Zibby and Jen speak with candid warmth, fostering a supportive, inspiring environment for listeners, especially women navigating the complexities of identity, motherhood, and self-compassion.

Summary Takeaways

• Mom, Rediscovered is both a personal journey and an invitation: to question cultural norms, to seek community, and to courageously share one’s story—no matter how “ordinary” it may seem.
• Jen’s experience speaks to broader issues facing women today: the insidious grip of wine mom culture and diet culture, the necessity of honest support groups, and the relentless need for self-kindness and “practice” over perfection.
• The episode doubles as an open call: Everyone’s story matters, and sharing creates community and change.

Listeners are left with the sense that vulnerability is a source of strength and connection, and that the process of rediscovering oneself—at any age—is invaluable and ongoing.