Episode Summary: Jessica N. Turner, I Thought It Would Be Better Than This: Rise from Disappointment, Regain Control, and Rebuild a Life You Love

Release Date: April 8, 2025

In this heartfelt and insightful episode of Totally Booked with Zibby, host Zibby Owens welcomes bestselling author Jessica N. Turner to discuss her compelling book, I Thought It Would Be Better Than This: Rise from Disappointment, Regain Control, and Rebuild a Life You Love. The conversation delves deep into Jessica's personal journey through marital upheaval, self-discovery, and the creation of a life filled with intention and resilience.

1. Introduction to Jessica N. Turner and Her Work

Zibby Owens introduces Jessica N. Turner, highlighting her extensive background as a content creator, marketer, and author. Jessica is celebrated for her previous works, including the Wall Street Journal bestselling The Fringe and Stretch Too Thin: How Working Moms Can Lose the Guilt, Work Smarter, and Thrive. Her latest book focuses on navigating profound disappointment and rebuilding one's life with strength and purpose.

2. Jessica's Personal Journey: Marriage and Divorce

Jessica opens up about her 16-year marriage that faced significant challenges in 2019. She reveals that her husband came out as bisexual and later as gay, a revelation that shook the foundation of their relationship and left her grappling with immense emotions and uncertainties.

"I thought it was mostly something to do with me or my body or I didn't know really what it was. And we started going to therapy, and he came out to me." (05:14)

The couple attempted to sustain a mixed-orientation marriage but ultimately decided to separate in March 2020, coinciding with the onset of the COVID-19 pandemic. The public announcement of their divorce the following month marked a turning point in Jessica's life.

3. Themes of Disappointment and Resilience in the Book

Jessica emphasizes that her book is not merely about divorce or her husband's sexuality but about the universal experience of disappointment and how to rise above it. She shares practical, gentle advice aimed at helping readers navigate their own challenges.

"This book is not a divorce book. It's not a my husband is gay book... this is a book that says I know what disappointment is like and you might be going through disappointment." (08:19)

4. Practical Advice and Tangible Tips

Zibby commends Jessica for providing actionable strategies without the stereotypical "self-help" tone, making the advice more relatable and effective.

"You give the reader just so many tangible, tactical tips. Right? Not in a super duper self-helpy way, but in a very gentle way, as if you're saying to somebody you're close to." (08:19)

Jessica concurs, noting that the book allows readers to select what resonates with them, fostering personal growth at their own pace.

"If you can grab even a couple things, I think it's beneficial." (08:43)

5. Navigating Grief and Emotional Healing

A significant portion of the discussion centers on the grief Jessica experienced following her marriage's dissolution. She shares how building a support system with trusted friends was crucial in her healing process.

"Grief is too heavy to carry alone." (10:31)

Jessica elaborates on the importance of allowing others to support you without burdening them with your sorrow, highlighting the balance between vulnerability and self-preservation.

6. Body Image and Self-Acceptance

Jessica candidly addresses the insecurities she faced regarding her body image, mistakenly attributing her husband's sexuality to her own physical appearance. She narrates her transformative experience with a boudoir photoshoot post-divorce, which was instrumental in rebuilding her self-esteem and embracing her beauty.

"After my divorce, I did a boudoir shoot for myself... it was so empowering and beautiful and healing for me to do that." (16:10)

7. Enhancing Empathy and Tenderness

Through her experiences, Jessica gained a heightened sense of empathy and tenderness towards others, understanding that everyone harbors their own struggles and disappointments.

"I am one of those people who I just want to dig in and let them talk about that thing and how are you doing and how are you feeling." (14:46)

She hopes her book inspires similar empathy in readers, fostering a community of support and understanding.

8. Authoring the Book: Focus Groups and Authenticity

Jessica shares her unique approach to writing her book, which included organizing focus groups to ensure the content resonated with a diverse audience. This method, inspired by fellow author Lisa Terkeurst, allowed her to refine her message and include exercises that are both thought-provoking and actionable.

"I hired somebody to help me conduct the focus groups and just put it out on my social media and invited people to participate." (29:07)

This collaborative process enhanced the book's effectiveness, making it a trusted resource for readers facing various forms of disappointment.

9. Sharing Vulnerability on Social Media

The discussion also touches on the challenges of sharing personal stories on social media. Jessica emphasizes the importance of carefully curating her posts to balance vulnerability with self-care, ensuring that her narrative remains authentic without overwhelming her followers or herself.

"I do want to make sure that I'm comfortable with what I'm about to share... I have gotten really good at listening, listening to my body and what it needs as well." (31:09)

10. Conclusion: Empowerment and Continued Healing

As the episode wraps up, Jessica reflects on her journey of self-advocacy and healing. She expresses hope that her book serves as a beacon of support for others, encouraging them to embrace their stories and work towards a fulfilling life despite setbacks.

"I truly hope that this book is a book that not only helps the readers, but that they are like, oh, my gosh, this is something that I can give to my friend going through a hard time." (35:18)

Zibby Owens commends Jessica for her bravery and the transformative potential of her work, ensuring listeners that the book is a valuable addition to anyone's reading list.

Notable Quotes:

• Jessica N. Turner: "Grief is too heavy to carry alone." (10:31)
• Jessica N. Turner: "This book is not a divorce book. It's not a my husband is gay book... this is a book that says I know what disappointment is like and you might be going through disappointment." (08:19)
• Zibby Owens: "This book will change your life." (09:23) — Referencing Mel Robbins' endorsement.

Final Thoughts

This episode offers a profound exploration of disappointment, resilience, and personal growth through Jessica N. Turner's experiences and insights. Listeners are encouraged to engage with the book as a guide to navigating their own challenges and emerging stronger. Jessica's candid storytelling and practical advice provide a roadmap for anyone seeking to rebuild their life with intention and love.

For more information about Jessica N. Turner and her book, visit zibbymedia.com and follow her on Instagram at @jessicanturner.