Totally Booked with Zibby
Guest: Kate Baer (“How About Now: Poems”)
Date: November 14, 2025
Host: Zibby Owens
Episode Overview
In this candid and moving episode, Zibby Owens sits down with bestselling poet Kate Baer to discuss Kate’s new poetry collection, How About Now. The conversation ranges from the deeply personal inspirations behind the poems to reflections on body image, motherhood, mortality, marriage, and the evolving role of poetry in the digital age. Honest, humorous, and at times raw, this discussion immerses listeners in the experience and craft of a modern poet navigating life’s complexities.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
The Genesis of How About Now
- Personal and Universal: Kate describes her fourth poetry collection as her most personal, shaped by major health scares, motherhood, and the ever-present awareness of mortality.
- Delayed Publication: The book’s release was delayed due to her unexpected health issues, which became an emotional catalyst for many poems.
- (Kate, 02:47): "I got to experience a midlife crisis very early. At the very green age of 39, I went through some pretty serious health issues and had to delay the book... facing my own mortality and coming to terms with a lot of things."
- Tone and Range: While rooted in somber experiences, Kate notes that the book includes lighter, playful pieces.
Health, Vulnerability, and Taboo Topics
- Honesty About Health: Kate openly shares the physical challenges she faced—including pelvic floor prolapse and neurological symptoms—which inform the collection.
- (Kate, 04:04): "I just said rectum. I was experiencing a pelvic floor prolapse that was pretty serious... So much so that eventually they said, I think you need to go to the ALS clinic."
- Impact on Writing: The crisis infused urgency and depth into her work, with some poems written over years and others springing from this intense time.
Motherhood and Family
- Children: Kate talks about having four children across high school to elementary ages, highlighting how motherhood permeates her themes and motivations.
- Anxiety and Mortality: She discusses the universal maternal fear of separation from children and how it shapes her poetry. (Kate, 22:54)
Body Image and the Female Experience
- Body as Subject: Body image—a recurring theme—re-emerges, further complicated by aging and health changes.
- (Kate, 06:23): "Especially when you live in a bigger body, which I have 90% of my life... my body is always a topic of discussion."
- Vulnerability in Sharing: She nearly omitted some revealing poems due to the scrutiny they would prompt but kept them for honesty.
Trauma and Survival
- Writing About Assault: Kate bravely reads and discusses a poem rooted in sexual assault she experienced in college, emphasizing the persistence of trauma and how it continues to surface in her writing.
- (Zibby, 07:54, reading from Kate’s poem): “A man who hated women carried me to my bedroom and engaged with my lifeless body, resulting in sexual assault and human papillomavirus... What are the statute of limitations on anger, on revenge, on how long one man's ego will find its way onto the page?”
- (Kate, 08:18): "That don't go away. It doesn't matter how old you are."
- Solidarity: She references the prevalence of these experiences and their continued impact.
Everyday Beauty and Meaning
- Moments That Matter: Poems like “Before the Guests” celebrate ordinary joys—laughter, late-night conversations, family, and love over material perfection.
- (Kate, 10:00): "When you're having guests over and you start looking at everything with that critical eye when none of that matters... What matters the most are those late night conversations and the human relationship."
Technology and Modern Life
- Screens and Disconnection: Kate explores our obsession with documenting life on our phones and the unintended consequences, particularly for children.
- (Zibby, 11:43, reading): "We say, look, phone. And turn it on ourselves. Look at my face, I'm so old and ratty... It would be a shame if you missed all this."
- (Kate, 11:43): "We're on our phones a lot... it's tough as a mom."
- Parenting in the Digital Age: She reflects on social media’s impact and foresees regret in current attitudes to children’s online exposure.
Marriage and Partnership
- Domestic Realism: In poems like “Marriage Poem,” Kate finds poetry in mundane marital negotiations, the daily decision of dinner, and the quiet acts of love.
- (Kate, 17:02): "My husband says I have a way of making everything into something. The happiest hours of my life have been. Alone, watching my family through a window. I love my life except for the noise of it."
- Partners as Muse: Her husband features throughout her poetry, sometimes without previewing his appearances until publication.
The Craft and Process of Poetry
- Inspiration: Poems take shape from everyday life and are captured quickly in notes or emails; the formal crafting is scheduled.
- (Kate, 17:28): "A lot of the lines and the concepts and the imagery come just when I'm living my life."
- Structuring a Collection: Poems are laid out and rearranged physically to find emotional and thematic flow.
- Role of Social Media: Kate credits Instagram with poetry’s resurgence—short, impactful pieces suit the format and contemporary audiences (Kate, 23:41).
Poetry in Contemporary Culture
- Changing Perceptions: Kate critiques how poetry is taught (“dead old white guys”) and celebrates the momentum of living, diverse voices in the genre.
- (Kate, 18:28): "We do such a disservice to poetry in school. We teach dead old white guys and it is a snooze fest."
- Essence of Poetry: She describes poetry as an ineffable convergence of rhythm, image, and resonance—“like when a chord is played and you hear it.” (Kate, 19:20)
Living With Anxiety & Being “Dramatic”
- Panic Attack & Medical Anxiety: Kate recounts misinterpreting a panic attack for a heart attack, driving herself to the ER, and coping with the fear of being “overly dramatic”—a label writers often bear since childhood.
- (Kate, 21:31): "Because I was afraid of being wrong and feeling like I was being dramatic. My parents always called me dramatic my whole life. I think a lot of writers... were called [that]."
- Advice for Listeners: Encourages listeners not to dismiss serious symptoms—“definitely go to the hospital if your arm hurts…” (Kate, 22:26)
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
On Health and Midlife:
"At the very green age of 39, I went through some pretty serious health issues... facing my own mortality and kind of coming to terms with a lot of things you do when you face your immortality." — Kate Baer, 02:47
On Body Image:
"Especially when you live in a bigger body, which I have... my body is always a topic of discussion. If you search my name, the first thing that will pop up is... weight loss Reddit." — Kate Baer, 06:23
On Writing About Trauma:
"I can't believe I'm still talking about this... and yet I kept it in there because I know from so many women... there's so many of us who are living with those stories that don't go away." — Kate Baer, 08:18
On What Truly Matters:
"What matters the most are those late night conversations and the human relationship... we're all going to die." — Kate Baer, 10:00
On Parenting and Phones:
"We're on our phones a lot... it's tough as a mom... I think we're gonna look back on giving our kids access to social media like we do when we put newborns in the front seat with a bottle of juice." — Kate Baer, 11:43–12:34
On Anxiety & Self-Perception:
"I was afraid of being wrong and feeling like I was being dramatic. My parents always called me dramatic my whole life. I think a lot of writers... were called [that]." — Kate Baer, 21:31
On Poetry’s Place:
"We do such a disservice to poetry in school. We teach dead old white guys and it is a snooze fest... But I've met so many incredible teachers since putting out my own books who teach not just my work, but other living poets, women." — Kate Baer, 18:28
On Success and Social Media:
“People love boiled down storytelling. And I think that’s—especially during COVID—people were looking for that. The platform lends itself to that kind of boiled down storytelling.” — Kate Baer, 23:41
Timestamps for Key Segments
- Introducing Kate Baer and Her New Book: 02:06–02:47
- Health Issues & the Book’s Delay: 02:47–05:01
- Body Image and Poetic Themes: 05:08–06:55
- Sexual Assault & Trauma in Poetry: 07:16–08:57
- Celebrating Family & Relationships: 09:18–10:55
- Phones, Modern Life, and Parenting: 11:05–12:56
- Marriage Poem and Domestic Life: 16:05–17:15
- Writing Process & Arranging a Collection: 17:15–17:55
- What is Poetry?: 19:07–19:55
- Panic Attack and Shame Around Illness: 20:03–21:31
- Motherhood & Mortality: 22:38–22:54
- Why Kate’s Poetry Resonates: 23:41–24:21
Tone & Style
The episode is marked by Kate Baer’s forthrightness and Zibby’s supportive, encouraging hosting style. The mood moves between solemnity and laughter, warmth and somber self-reflection—always returning to honesty and connection. Baer is unflinching about sharing the gritty truths of womanhood and modern life, while never losing sight of everyday joys.
Summary
Listeners will come away with a deeper appreciation for Kate Baer’s poetry and the lived experiences that shape it. Whether discussing medical scares, the messiness of motherhood, wounds that do not fully heal, or the wild beauty of normal days, Baer’s poems and this conversation are an invitation to seek meaning, connection, and humor in the midst of struggle.
To buy Kate's How About Now, visit your local bookstore or follow Kate and Zibby on social media for updates and readings.