Totally Booked with Zibby – Lihi Lapid, I WANTED TO BE WONDERFUL: A Novel

Date: November 3, 2025
Host: Zibby Owens
Guest: Lihi Lapid

Episode Overview

In this heartfelt episode, Zibby Owens welcomes back Israeli author and journalist Lihi Lapid to discuss her novel, I Wanted to Be Wonderful. The conversation explores the book’s deeply personal and universal themes of motherhood, marriage, self-sacrifice, and the pursuit of identity within family life. Lapid reveals the origins of her “braided novel” structure, her struggle with vulnerability, and how her own experiences as a mother, wife, and creative have shaped both her fiction and real life. Zibby, now also Lapid’s publisher, guides a candid discussion that resonates with any listener interested in the challenges and rewards of building a family, maintaining a marriage, and staying true to oneself.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Origins of the Book and Its Journey to Publication

• Zibby shares how she first encountered Lapid’s manuscript and was immediately captivated, ultimately leading her publishing imprint to bring the book to the U.S. with a new title and edits (03:10–04:43).
  • "Maybe I'll put a little clip or something in this episode to when I was freaking out about it, and then somehow convinced you to let us have US rights." – Zibby (03:50)

2. Plot and Thematic Summary

• Lapid describes her novel as breaking from the traditional romantic “happily ever after” trope and instead focusing on what it means to build a family after the wedding, including the complexities and struggles of motherhood and partnership (05:02–08:21).
  • "The journey starts there. After you found a great guy ... now it's real life ... How do you do it? ... No one talks about this thing that we need to work at home to be a couple, to be parents ..." – Lihi Lapid (05:02)

3. Structure: Braided Narratives and Truth in Fiction

• The novel intertwines two stories: a highly personal, almost memoir-like narrative based on Lapid’s life, and a parallel fictional family; this structure was deliberately chosen to reveal “the underside” of marriage and motherhood—what isn’t usually said (08:21–09:25).
  • "By showing the two in parallel until they sort of intersect, you’re showing us a lot. You're exposing the underside, if you will, of both marriage and motherhood and what doesn't often get said." – Zibby (08:21)

4. Writing with Vulnerability and the Role of Self-Censorship

• Lapid shares the internal debate over how much personal truth to reveal, relating advice from her mother-in-law, celebrated author Shulamit Lapid:
  • "When you write a book, you write the whole truth and then you erase a little bit." – Shulamit Lapid via Lihi (11:40)
• Lihi reveals the pressure and fear of overexposing her family's experience with her daughter Yael, who has severe autism, ultimately sharing a pivotal, emotional passage about the diagnosis process (12:45–16:18).

5. Examining Expectations and the Realities of Family Life

• The conversation addresses themes of disappointment, acceptance, and the search for identity when one partner (and sometimes the children) take center stage, at the potential cost of the other's ambitions (16:18–19:00).
  • "I could be the princess if my daughter was okay. But at the end, we are all struggling. ... Family is something that demands so much of our soul and mind." – Lihi Lapid (16:18)

6. Finding Happiness Amidst Challenges

• Lapid reflects on the importance of happiness and togetherness within the family, recounting her husband’s advice during a painful time:
  • "This house needs to be a happy home again." – Lihi Lapid's husband, Yair (21:58)
• They discuss the broader question: How do you sustain joy, marriage, and fulfillment through periods of profound challenge? (21:58–22:49)

7. Creative Life, Partnership, and Public Roles

• Zibby asks Lihi about how her creative journey evolved after publishing such a personal novel, and how she balanced that with her husband’s public career (22:49–30:13).

  • "Talking about being married to a very successful, successful husband and trying to find who you are in this world." – Lihi Lapid (23:50)

• Lihi describes meeting her husband Yair while both served in the Israeli Defense Forces—against all warnings (24:48–26:25).

  • "I was 20 and Yair was 25, on the way to be divorced with a 2 year old kid. ... But I looked at him and I found him amusing and smart. And we are like 35 years later, still." – Lihi Lapid (25:25)

• Talks about adjusting to her husband’s move into politics as a family and maintaining unity, privacy, and perspective in the public eye (26:36–30:13).

8. Advice and Reflections on Motherhood, Ambition, and Time

• Lihi offers perspective for mothers who may be in the throes of raising small children:
  • "If someone would take me and say, look, 25 years from now, you'll have a book being published in the United States ... After a while, suddenly they are growing up. And then you have time really to fulfill so many dreams and so many things." (30:52–32:41)
• She describes women’s careers as “kangaroo” paths—pausing for family, then leaping forward.
  • "Women, I call us kangaroos ... and we do it. Wonderful, wonderful. And then we do another jump." – Lihi Lapid (32:41)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Writing the Truth:

  • "When you write a book, you write the whole truth and then you erase a little bit." – Shulamit Lapid via Lihi (11:40)

• Motherhood, Sacrifice, and Identity:

  • "I gave up so much for my man to succeed and to have his career. I gave up so much for my kids. Where am I in all this? And can I say, now it's my turn?" – Lihi Lapid (07:35)

• Raw Vulnerability:

  • "At night before the crucial exam, I hold my husband and he holds me and none of us is falling asleep. And I pray that night I pray, please let my daughter be deaf. Because all other possibilities are so much more frightening. I want a deaf child." – Lihi Lapid (15:38)

• Navigating Challenges:

  • "We are in an era that everybody tells us if we'll try hard enough, it will work. ... Realizing that there is something so important in your life that you can't fix is a devastating thing." – Lihi Lapid (20:53)

• Resilience in Family:

  • "This house needs to be a happy home again." – Yair Lapid (21:58)

• On Life’s Unpredictability:

  • "It's really a miracle that anybody stays married." – Zibby Owens (30:41)

• Hope for Mothers:

  • "If someone would tell me ... after a while, suddenly they are growing up. And then you have time really to fulfill so many dreams and so many things." – Lihi Lapid (32:41)

Timestamps of Important Segments

| Timestamp | Segment Summary | |----------------|-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 03:10 | Zibby details discovering Lihi’s manuscript and falling in love with it. | | 05:02 | Lihi summarizes the book’s central question: What happens after the “happily ever after”? | | 08:21 | Discussion of the “braided” narrative structure and its purpose. | | 09:25 | Lihi on writing vulnerability—the husband’s point of view and advice from her mother-in-law on writing the truth. | | 12:45 | Lihi reads and discusses the difficult passage about her daughter’s diagnosis and the decision to publish (raw memoir moment). | | 16:18 | The meaning of the “braided novel” as a metaphor for real struggles beneath the surface. | | 21:58 | Yair’s advice to Lihi in a desperate moment: making the home happy again. | | 24:48 | Origin story: meeting her husband Yair Lapid in the military press corps. | | 26:36 | Family response to Yair entering politics; keeping private life insulated. | | 30:52–32:41| Lihi’s advice for mothers: the “kangaroo” metaphor and the return of dreams after the intense years of early motherhood. | | 32:41 | Closing reflections on partnership, ambition, and upcoming U.S. events. |

Episode Tone

Warm, deeply personal, and honest—this episode offers solidarity and reassurance to women navigating the unpredictable terrain of marriage, motherhood, and selfhood. Lihi Lapid’s openness is met with Zibby’s empathetic curiosity, resulting in a conversation full of poignant truths and hope.

Recommended for readers, mothers, creative women, and anyone seeking an authentic take on balancing family, ambition, and self-care.