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Zibby Owens
Clips from the Totally Booked Live series are now up on Instagram totallybooked with Zivi. Check it out.
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Zibby Owens
Hi, this is Zibby Owens and you're listening to Totally Booked with Zibby, formerly Moms don't have Time to Read Books. In my daily show, I interview today's latest, best selling, buzziest or underrated authors and story creators whose work I think is worth your time. And as a bookstore owner, publisher, author, and obviously podcaster, I get a comprehensive look at everything that's coming out and spend my time curating the best books so you don't have to stay in the know, get insider insights and connect with guests like I do every single day. For more information, go to zibbymedia.com and follow me on Instagram Ibbeowensk Lily Taylor is the author of Turning to the Power and Beauty of Noticing. Lily has starred in such films as Ship of Fools, Ransom, Girlstown, I Shot Andy Warhol, Shortcuts, Dogfight, say Anything, Public.
Lily Taylor
Enemies, and the Conjuring, and of course, Mystic Pizza.
Zibby Owens
She appeared on television and HBO's subway stories, and on stage in Three Sisters and Avenue Boys.
Lily Taylor
Welcome Lily. Thank you so much for coming on Totally Booked with Zippy to talk about turning to Birds, the Power and beauty of noticing. Congrats. So you are a birder. You have taken us through this time. I've downloaded the apps you recommended. I am, like, all in it, ready to go. And I'm, like, talking to my. I'm like, look up. Listen, we can do this. I'm trying your experiments anyway. It was fun. How did you get into your birding life? And when did you decide to turn this into a book?
Yeah, well. Well, I really feel like I had a Covid moment, but I just had it a lot earlier than everybody else, you know, I really do, because, like, during COVID I just was like, oh, I know where. I know where you're at. Like, people were telling me they were noticing this or noticing that, but a lot of people were noticing birds because then they also remembered that I'd like birds, you know, vaguely in the back of their mind. But. So I had had, like, that quiet moment and something broke through, and I realized there was something going on out there with those flying creatures and a lot more than I thought. And then I just. I entered into that world, and it's.
You don't leave, and the rest is history.
Yeah.
Can I read a couple quotes that I thought were really interesting?
Yeah.
You said human nature can smell a rat. We know when something is superficial, general, a throwaway. Our survival depends on stories that. That connect us to a deeper part of ourselves and others. Access to that depth requires care and work. Talk a little bit about that because it's so true.
Yeah, I feel strongly about that. You know, I've read some stuff about, you know, neuro, you know, from neuroscientists. And I mean, in a very, you know, I'm a layman for sure, but I heard about when the brain doesn't light up, you know, and that that's not good for us and that we're still evolving and we're still learning about our emotions. And so as an actor, I mean, I'm doing. I'm part of that, showing what it's like to have a feeling. And so when an. And so when an. When a director says, oh, well, they won't understand that in Kansas you should cry like a stereotypical crying, right? And I said, well, where you're underestimating the person in Kansas, you know, and there's lots of ways to cry. And the problem is we keep seeing this one way so that after years and years and years of just watching and taking all this in, we might think what we do is weird or. So that's just a little Example of it.
People now are crying all over Kansas as a result of this podcast. Here's another quote. Biophilia hypothesis asserts that humans are genetically predisposed to be attracted to nature. The most important skill I use in acting, I also use when I'm looking at birds. That skill is listening, by which I don't mean hearing what another actor is saying or the sound a bird is making. So talk about the art of listening and how and what you do to become a great actress, but also a great birder.
Yeah, well, yeah, a neuroscientist. And this is in the book somewhere, but said the difference between hearing is a sense and listening is the skill. And the difference between the two is paying attention. And I loved that because first I realized it was a skill, and I hadn't really thought of it as a skill, which means that I can work at it. Right. And I can get better at it, and I don't have to be perfect at it, because you can't be. That's the other good news is there's no perfection. There's no pinnacle. So it's just. It's. It's forever in process. And so as an actor, I love listening as opposed to being in the moment, which is something we're taught, you know, or I want X. What that does is, first of all, being in the moment. I don't know what that is, really. I don't know if I've been there. I don't know if I was good when I was there. But listening, I know when I'm not listening. I know when I am listening. And if I'm not listening, I can be gentle and just say, it's okay. Just get back up, get back and listen again, listen again. And to have. Because also attention comes from the root of that is tundra, I think, which is tension, which is. So it means we're. It's not easy.
Yes.
Right. Paying attention is not easy. So I shouldn't have a good time while I'm paying attention. Right. And I shouldn't have to do it for a long time. It's okay if I do it in spurts.
Interesting. Yeah, it's like back to that school, you know, school room. Like, you have to pay attention.
Right, right, exactly. Exactly.
Your birding has taken you everywhere. And I thought it was so interesting that when you were on location, I think, in Santa Fe, and you had a little bit of time on your hands, and you're like, whenever I have a little time on my hands in this new city, I go to Find the birds. And first of all, I realized that's a great. A great question to ask people. Like, when you go to a new city, what is the first thing you do to make yourself feel at home? And I love how you answered that. Right. Because that's not something. I would go to a bookstore, for instance. That's what I do whenever I go to a new place. So tell me how finding the birds and going into these canyons or down these paths or these crazy parking lots of places, you don't really know where you are, how this makes you feel at home in the world.
That's right. Well, as you're even describing it, I'm remembering those experiences and remembering how what felt like just a not friendly. It's not that it wasn't friendly. It's that it became so much more. And so then when I'm driving on the highway and I'm passing something that just didn't have any meaning and that looks sort of nothing now has meaning to me because I explored behind that building off the highway. And I know there's life in there, you know, and I know there's a river running by the highway, and I know there's life in that. And so. And so I feel there's life, and I feel that I'm a part of it. And it's rich and. And it's not a. It's not a kind of lonely, lonely kind of nothing place. And I just love feeling a part of. Maybe I feel like innately not a part of or something. And so all these things make me feel a part of.
You talk in the book a couple of times about your introversion and how sometimes even just being around birds makes you have to, like, go home and regroup.
Exactly. I'm like, with my friends. I'm like, partying with my friends when I'm with birds. And it's like, I'm exhausted also because I've been paying attention and concentrating, and I'm just exhausted. I need a break. Some birders can keep going. I'm like, I'm done. I need a coffee. I'll meet you later.
Birding plus Starbucks. I loved that, that whole thing. And then you wrote about a time during one of the memorials for 911 when I'm here in New York City where there's always the ghosts of the Twin Towers light up in the sky and how actually they are really affecting birds and how many bird injuries there can be because these artificial lights and how you were part of this, like, covert secret ops mission to like save the birds and the light at like back roof somewhere. Oh, my gosh. Like the way you told that, I feel like that should be like a scene from a movie. Oh, my goodness. But it really speaks to like this intersection of what we do as humans and put into the world and then how these beautiful natural creatures have to adapt and how you, like, emerge as the hero here trying to like, meld the two.
You know, it's right. It's true. And it's like, it's not that I'm the hero, but that birds and humans are. We are here together. And when humans find ways to work with other humans to help wild, anything wild is such a great story. And this story, you know, it took them at least seven years to even talk. And some of them still don't quite even understand what we're doing. Wait, what the bird. Wait, what is a bird? Doesn't matter though. It's okay. They turn the lights out, you know. And what I find so interesting about the 911 tribute is that it is literally shining a light on a bigger problem, which is the light pollution just affecting lots of wild things, you know, and affecting our relationship with the sky. They're trying to preserve the night sky as a natural landmark or something so that it has protections.
Unbelievable. And the wind with the world Trade with the Empire State Building too. I just feel like the city of Manhattan is just like not the best place for birds. Maybe they need to just like go somewhere else and like steer clear of all of our obstacles.
But. But Central park is amazing for birds.
True.
You know, it's such a great, like, think about that amount of green when they haven't seen for a while and then they have just like. And so many land in there and fuel up.
Zibby Owens
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Lily Taylor
In New York City.
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Lily Taylor
My gosh, I love it. You mentioned offhandedly in the book that you come from a family that owned hardware stores. What was that like? I mean, hardware stores are such this like time, like a relic. Like, I feel like they're one of the last bastions of like this, the real world, the way it used to be. What is that like? What was that like for you?
Well, it was wonderful and it really was, it had all that stuff like it had like they wrote on paper bags like the guys when you had two screws, 1070, you know, and there was a big old register and so, and I knew, I knew that that all was fantastic stuff. Somehow I knew esthetically that this was a beautiful store, you know, and I loved it. I love. And I love fixing things. I don't know if that was in my nature with. Look, my dad was not a handyman at all. And he. You know, sometimes we didn't even. I was like, where's a hammer? Where is a hammer? Why don't you even have a hammer? But I. He wasn't a handyman. Cause he was really a poet. He just sort of took it over because of his father. But I loved the hardware store. I loved being there. I got it. And I love them to this day. And I love fixing things.
I mean, who knew you were so handy? This is great, great information. Let's talk a little about your acting. So I saw Mystic Pizza like everyone else in the world when it came out when I was 12. And now here I am, I'm 48, and we're finally talking. So that's lovely. I've been hanging, hanging out, just like, waiting for this to happen. You have been this rare, as rare as many birds, one might say. Creature that has maintained a life of working actorhood forever. Like, what is the secret there? And how does it feel like just navigating this. This rarefied world, so to speak?
Well, it's nice being older with wisdom. You know, you earn this wisdom and well aware.
That's the one. That's the one perk that I can see so far.
And it's a perk, boy. I mean, it's a perk, right? And so because of this wisdom, I'm able to see that it ebbs and flows and that it. It comes and goes and hang in there. You hang in there a day at a time. Make things manageable and. Oh, boy. I mean, you know, the thing I keep thinking about now is just how nothing is personal, but you have to. You have to experience everything being personal in order to get to that. It's not personal, you know? Yes, but acting can feel so personal. Like, no, you didn't get that part because you are not as good as. And it can just start to feel, like, messed up, but you get through it. And, you know, one thing I think helped me a lot is I really did get early on. Like, I think it's really important to do things with people you love because at the end of the day, the experience is really important. And who knows if the thing's gonna come out or how it's gonna do and so on. So that was always kind of a criterion for me. And I think it might've helped a lot because I've always. Even though the movie Many movies never came out, but I had a great time.
It's similar to the writing world, which of course now you're also a part of here with this book. But you know, there's so many books and drawers, probably less costly than movies in cabinets or something, but currency wise.
But, but you know, and I'm married to a poet, so you know, and talk, talk about poetry. Jesus.
Zibby Owens
Yes.
Lily Taylor
I was actually just interviewing Miranda Kelly Heller, who has a poetry collection coming out soon and we were talking that like poetry really needs a rebrand. Right. It's, it's so perfect for this time starved lack of attention. Speaking of attention economy. And yet there's this and it's just perfect little thing on like one like that should be what people read. Like your entry drug.
Poetry talk. They gotta start Poetry talk.
Totally. I can't believe they don't have it. Well, maybe after this we can get on there. Your husband can lead the way and.
Yes, yes.
What was it like? Did you always want to write? Was that part of your goal in life to write a book or where did this book come from?
Well, I've always wrote, but I, I didn't think I could write like, I thought I could only write screenplays or plays or, you know, dialogue, you know, I can write dialogue, you know. And then I had been working on a one woman show that was about the same stuff. And then I showed it to my manager after working on it for about five or six years, and he introduced me to a book agent and David Kuhn, the book agent said, why don't you send me an email about a bird you've observed? And so I wrote him. I was. And then so I wrote emails, which is such a smart way to start writing.
Yes.
You know, I knew kind of I was what I was doing, but a lot of me kind of was like, no, I'm writing an email. That's what I'm. I'm writing an email. If anyone thinks I'm writing a book, shush.
Zibby Owens
No.
Lily Taylor
Yes. Otherwise like your brain would get into like, no, I can't do this and da, da, da. Exactly.
You get strangled, you know, so that was such a brilliant strategy. And so that's how I started. But I knew, I knew that the one woman show came about just because I knew this desire to talk to the love for birds. It didn't feel right keeping it in. Right. It just did. That didn't feel right either. Felt out of order.
Well, there's something really neat about reading someone else's. What, what is someone Else's passion.
Zibby Owens
Right.
Lily Taylor
Like, that is the best way to learn about something. Not from a textbook, but like someone like you who has found something that we all have in our lives and yet all of a sudden valued it in such a different way so that it brings richness to our interactions with birds now, because you're the way you see them, which is really cool. Anyway, tell me more about these bins. So bins are the birder word for binoculars. So now I feel like I'm in the know on all of that. Tell me about the market, the two brands, the standoff between the manufacturers of the two bins, your lost bins. Like, it's all so dramatic. I know.
I know a bit. The world of optics, you know, Like, I'm going to the biggest week in American Birding Festival in a couple of days. And, you know, there's a whole tent and it's called the optics tent. And talk about standoffs, man. I'm those sellers, man. It's the tables of. You know, it's a big. And it's a lot of money, man. That's a big. You know. So, yes, I did. I was Swarovski, and now I'm over in Zeiss, and. And nobody even knows. Nobody even knows. I don't think Zeiss knows I'm having them. And I don't even know Zoroastri knew that much that I think they might have known for a second and then they forgot. So nobody even knows.
Maybe you should, like, do your movie. Like, the show should be now, like in the aftermath, now that you have all these stories, like, you know. You know, like a coming of. Coming of birdhood, if you will.
That's right. Thank you. Thank you.
You're welcome.
Yeah. You're gonna do that now and I get some sponsorship? Well, no, I mean, I love. I love what you're saying, because I've. Because now I sort of could probably do the show.
Yeah.
Because now I've. I've know what it is now. Really. Well, so thanks for just nudging me, because no one's nudged me yet. But you just did.
I'll be a permanent nudge. I'll just like. You can just replay this episode and feel like you could do it. Because even if you're not interested in birds, God forbid, let's just say you're interested in you as human beings, we're interested in someone else's growth and discovery. And I feel like part of that is this for you.
Thank you. And I think that. And that was why I kept really trying to be myself because, as you said, it's the best way to learn. And also, it's like the only way someone's going to tap into their love. If my love is specific enough and honest enough.
Totally.
And that's what I was hoping to get to. Because we all. It's nice to connect into that thing that brings us meaning.
And even just your observations about people, about how, like, we should all just. If you stand there looking up, is there some evolutionary thing where we all lift up our heads to see what's in the sky? Like, just all these little gems you have everywhere sprinkled through. It's like, yeah, I don't know. What are we looking at? What is it?
And I don't know why we all look up when someone else looks up. I mean, it's so interesting.
Yeah, I mean, I guess I'm afraid something's about to, like, fall on me.
Well, I guess I was wondering. When I was reading, like, a Little House on the Prairie and a puma or just some jaguar, it jumped out of the tree. And I thought, well, maybe that. Yeah, maybe those things jumped out of trees on us or snakes or something.
Totally. Yeah.
Zibby Owens
Okay.
Lily Taylor
So it's all just PTSD from Little House on the Prairie days, and somehow we will get through it.
I don't know the Bible that well, but did the snake come out of a tree?
Gonna have to look into that.
Zibby Owens
Okay.
Lily Taylor
Well, now that you've. Now that you're in the book world and obviously your husband as well, but now that you've entered this new forest, so to speak, doing the book events, promoting, blah, blah, blah, how are you finding it? And how does it compare to the acting world or not, or just. What do you think about it?
First of all, the book came out, but I didn't do any event until the following week. And I was working the night it came out, and I'm kind of a little bit of an isolator, as you can tell. I need to work on friend stuff, so I didn't really talk to anybody.
I'll be your friend. It's okay. This is an open plea for Lily to please make some friends. Sorry. Go on.
I realized that with movies, TV and theater, the data is in pretty fast. The data is in either with plays the next day after you open, and then with movies and tv, you get. Not with books, it's much quieter. And so next time, if I do a book, I'm going to make sure to take myself out the night it comes out. And I'm going to try to talk to people through the week so that I know that it exists. Because for a minute I was like, wait, is the book out? I mean, I don't. What's going on now? The Q&As are very thoughtful. Much deeper, not surprisingly. I'm really liking it. I'm really liking it.
Yeah, there is that question. Like, there's so many books that come out. Like you're wondering if your book is even out yet. I mean, sometimes it's like, how would we know? It's like the tree falling in the forest.
Exactly.
Did someone put it on a table somewhere?
Because I think, like, how many came out the week? I don't know, 500? I don't know how many, but a lot came out. And yeah, it's, it's. And I know with all the changes, of course, right. With the way publishing has changed in press and so it's even more different. Right, because you may not even get reviewed or you might not even get. Right.
Yes.
Yeah.
Well, I mean, I saw. I mean, I knew about your book, but I feel like I learned so much about books also from other authors, like Ada Calhoun. Posting about your event together, I was like, oh, that's amazing. Like, love her. That's great. But I know it's funny how we find out. But then next thing you know, I'm reading Turning to Birds and now I know all about birds and bins and that's just the way the world works. So thank you. Thank you for this. Thank you for this. Look at the way I see the world. It's now changed and that's the best thing a book can do.
Wonderful.
Okay, so thank you so much.
Thank you.
Good luck making friends and get on the one woman show.
Great. Thank you so much.
Okay, bye.
Zibby Owens
Thank you for listening to Totally Booked with Zibby formerly Moms don't have time to read books. If you loved the show, tell a friend, leave a review. Follow me on Instagram ibbyowens and spread the word. Thanks so much. Oh, and buy the books.
Lily Taylor
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Zibby Owens
Clips from the Totally Booked Live series are now up on Instagram totallybookedwithzibby. Check it out.
Episode Summary: "Lili Taylor, Turning to Birds: The Power and Beauty of Noticing"
Release Date: May 24, 2025
In this enriching episode of "Totally Booked with Zibby", host Zibby Owens engages in a heartfelt and insightful conversation with actress and author Lili Taylor. The discussion delves into Lili's journey from her illustrious acting career to her newfound passion for birding, culminating in her book, "Turning to Birds: The Power and Beauty of Noticing." This episode offers listeners a profound exploration of mindfulness, nature, and the creative processes that bridge different forms of art.
Zibby Owens begins by introducing Lili Taylor, highlighting her impressive acting career with notable appearances in films such as "Mystic Pizza," "Ransom," "Girlstown," and "The Conjuring." She also mentions Lili's ventures into writing and publishing, setting the stage for an engaging dialogue about her latest book.
Notable Quote:
"Lily Taylor is the author of Turning to the Power and Beauty of Noticing... and Mystic Pizza." — Zibby Owens [03:04]
Lili shares how the COVID-19 pandemic served as a pivotal moment for her, leading her to discover birding as a means of finding solace and connection amidst isolation. She explains how this quiet period allowed her to delve deeper into the natural world, fostering a lifelong passion.
Notable Quote:
"I entered into that world, and you don't leave, and the rest is history." — Lili Taylor [04:20]
The conversation shifts to the parallels between acting and birding, particularly the art of listening. Lili draws connections between her skills as an actress—such as emotional depth and attention to detail—and the mindfulness required in birding. She emphasizes that both activities demand a deep level of engagement and presence.
Notable Quote:
"The difference between hearing is a sense and listening is the skill... it means that I can work at it and get better." — Lili Taylor [06:28]
Zibby and Lili delve into the themes of Lili's book, discussing the Biophilia Hypothesis, which suggests humans are genetically predisposed to connect with nature. They explore how the book intertwines personal narratives with scientific insights, advocating for a greater appreciation of the natural world.
Notable Quote:
"The Biophilia hypothesis asserts that humans are genetically predisposed to be attracted to nature." — Lili Taylor [05:51]
Lili recounts her birding expeditions across various landscapes, including urban environments like New York City. She describes how searching for birds in unexpected places transforms mundane settings into vibrant ecosystems, fostering a sense of belonging and interconnectedness with nature.
Notable Quote:
"I feel that I'm a part of it... it's rich and not a lonely kind of nothing place." — Lili Taylor [08:59]
A significant portion of the discussion focuses on the impact of human activities on birds, particularly light pollution resulting from memorials like the Twin Towers tribute in New York City. Lili highlights her efforts to mitigate these effects, portraying a collaborative relationship between humans and wildlife conservation.
Notable Quote:
"Light pollution is just affecting lots of wild things and our relationship with the sky." — Lili Taylor [11:21]
Lili explains her transition from screenwriting to authoring a book, detailing the challenges and motivations behind capturing her birding passion in written form. She shares how initial hesitations gave way to a desire to share her observations and insights with a broader audience.
Notable Quote:
"I didn't think I could write like, I thought I could only write screenplays or plays." — Lili Taylor [20:12]
The duo discusses the differences between promoting a book and navigating an acting career. Lili points out the slower, more introspective nature of book promotion compared to the immediate feedback loop of film and theater, emphasizing the deeper, more thoughtful interactions during book events.
Notable Quote:
"The Q&As are very thoughtful. Much deeper, not surprising at all." — Lili Taylor [26:15]
As the episode draws to a close, Lili encourages listeners to embrace their passions and remain authentic in their pursuits. She reflects on the importance of personal growth and the beauty of discovering new facets of oneself through seemingly unrelated interests.
Notable Quote:
"It's nice to connect into that thing that brings us meaning." — Zibby Owens [24:36]
This episode of "Totally Booked with Zibby" is a testament to the transformative power of nature and mindfulness. Lili Taylor's journey from acting to birding offers valuable lessons on finding balance, pursuing passions, and the interconnectedness of all forms of art and life. Listeners are left inspired to notice the beauty around them and to seek deeper connections in their own lives.
Key Takeaways:
Connect with Lili Taylor:
Follow Zibby Owens:
Thank you for listening to this episode of "Totally Booked with Zibby." If you enjoyed the conversation, please rate and review the show, and don't forget to purchase "Turning to Birds" to continue exploring the beauty of noticing.