Loretta Rothschild, FINDING GRACE: A Novel

Summary

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Totally Booked with Zibby: Loretta Rothschild, FINDING GRACE

Podcast: Totally Booked with Zibby
Host: Zibby Owens
Guest: Loretta Rothschild (author, Finding Grace)
Date: December 24, 2025

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Episode Overview

This episode features Loretta Rothschild discussing her debut novel Finding Grace. Zibby Owens, an enthusiastic fan of the book, delves into its themes, the challenges of discussing a plot built on secrecy, the complexities of grief and love, motherhood, and the craft of writing itself. Rothschild reveals her creative process, the emotional toll of writing such deep subject matter, and her journey to publication.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. The Challenge of Describing Finding Grace Without Spoilers

• Main Theme: Finding Grace centers around a love story profoundly shaped by unexpected events and a central secret.

• Loretta and her editorial team have struggled with how to describe the book because its impact relies on knowing as little as possible upfront.

  "The most exciting thing is knowing nothing about it... Even now we still, we still try and work out how to describe it." — Loretta Rothschild [04:48]

• One-line Description:

  "At the core of Finding Grace is a love story between two characters whose lives are appended by unexpected events. ...I wanted to do things that were unexpected but still being very loyal to the structure of a love story." — Loretta Rothschild [05:19]

2. Secrets, Grief, and the Ripple Effects

• Zibby discusses how secrets drive much of the novel’s plot and its emotional weight, touching on the self-destructive nature of secret-keeping.

  “It’s built around a secret. ...And the after effects, sort of the ripple effects...and how it can kind of drive you mad." — Zibby Owens [05:57]

• Loretta reflects on the emotional labor of writing about characters in turmoil and how grief and love can overwhelm and change behavior, particularly focusing on the character Tom.

  “It’s a full time job for honest people...he’s not a liar, he’s made a terrible mistake...it’s very stressful to not be living in the truth.” — Loretta Rothschild [06:21]

3. Expansive Themes: Motherhood, Identity, Friendship, and Wine

• Zibby highlights the book's nuanced layers: from motherhood and the quest to be a mother, to master sommelier training, to the importance of friendships and the vividness of supporting characters.
• The novel offers a "fresh perspective on grief," appreciated by Zibby for its simple yet powerful insights.

  “Sometimes it’s the most simple explanations that are the most powerful.” — Zibby Owens [07:31]

4. Loretta’s Approach to Writing About Grief

• Loretta did not try to “diagnose” grief but instead “wandered alongside it,” seeking to be authentic and emotionally honest.
• The character of Honor—as both narrator and writer within the story—helped frame and express grief in a unique, textured way.

  "Love and grief as co-pilots... I stopped trying to diagnose grief or explain it. I just kind of wandered alongside of it." — Loretta Rothschild [08:56] "She’s an unexpected narrator for this story. ...She had to tell the story. ...She in a way added that... special, it has something, I can't even sort of put my finger on it." — Loretta Rothschild [10:56]

5. Writing Process and Author Journey

• Loretta always imagined stories and “walked around making up stories in [her] head,” only realizing later not everyone did this.
• Finding Grace initially started in the third person but was rewritten in Honor’s first-person voice because her perspective was too insistent and compelling to ignore.

  "Honor was an extremely insistent voice in my head. She wasn’t going anywhere. ...She was coming in hot." — Loretta Rothschild [12:16]

6. Life While Writing and Path to Publication

• Much of the book developed during the pandemic lockdown, with Loretta embracing daily writing without worrying about ideal conditions.

  "I kind of got over the idea that I needed to sit at a certain desk and do it a certain way and I just got on with it." — Loretta Rothschild [17:41]

• The journey to finding an agent and publisher was smoother than expected; her UK agent called her after reading just three chapters:

  "I mean, I can't believe what you've done. I mean, this, this never happens. This is so dangerously brilliant." — Loretta's agent, recalled by Loretta [19:30]

7. Inspirations and Literary Influences

• Influenced deeply by works like Grievous: A Thing with Feathers (noting its innovative narrators), poetry, and classic love stories like Jane Eyre.
• Loretta wanted to craft a modern, "twisty" love story encouraging readers to reflect on questions of love, loss, and self-discovery.

  “I wanted to write a traditional story, a traditional love story, but with the kind of modern, twisty, bringing it to today.” — Loretta Rothschild [27:13]

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• On Grief and Writing:
  "I really took the grief element of this book incredibly seriously because of the magnitude of certain parts of it." — Loretta Rothschild [08:56]

• On Character Creation:
  "Honor was an extremely insistent voice in my head...she was coming in hot." — Loretta Rothschild [12:16]

• On Success:
  "I wanted this book to exist in the world and maybe for a few people to read it. So everything after that is a bonus." — Loretta Rothschild [25:50]

• On Universal Questions:
  "Does one love take from another? Are we truly ever alone? ...I wanted to kind of write a book that would lead people to question things." — Loretta Rothschild [27:13]

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Notable Segments & Timestamps

• Loretta describes the challenge of keeping the plot under wraps: [04:48]
• Exploring the emotional dangers of secret-keeping: [06:21]
• Zibby highlights the book's take on motherhood, friendship, and grief: [07:31]
• Loretta explains her method for approaching grief in writing: [08:56]
• Switch from third person to Honor's first-person narration: [12:16]
• Loretta's life and writing habits during the book’s creation: [17:41]
• Path to agent and publisher—her agent's first reaction: [19:30]
• Discussion of inspirations and literary influences: [27:13]
• Reflections on what success means as a debut author: [25:50]

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Tone & Atmosphere

Throughout the conversation, the mood is warm, enthusiastic, and intellectually curious. Zibby's excitement is contagious, while Loretta offers warm, self-effacing, and candid insights into her writing and emotional process. Both host and guest maintain an inviting, thoughtful, and deeply literary tone.

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Summary Takeaway

This episode offers a compelling look inside Finding Grace and the mind of its debut author Loretta Rothschild. It’s an episode that will resonate not only with fans of literary fiction, love stories, and nuanced explorations of grief, but also anyone interested in the art and emotional labor of writing. Loretta’s perspective—thoughtful, sincere, and rooted in the details of everyday life—invites readers to experience her breakthrough novel with fresh eyes and an open heart.

Transcript

[Loretta Rothschild]

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[Zibby Owens]

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[Loretta Rothschild]

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[Zibby Owens]

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[Loretta Rothschild]

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[Loretta Rothschild]

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[Grow Therapy / Greenlight Infinity Advertiser]

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[Zibby Owens]

Hi, this is Zibby Owens and you're listening to Totally Booked with Zibby, formerly Moms don't have Time to Read Books. In my daily show, I interview today's latest best selling, buzziest or underrated authors and story creators whose work I think is worth your time. As a bookstore owner, publisher, author, and obviously podcaster, I get a comprehensive look at everything that's coming out and spend my time curating the best books so you don't have to stay in the know, get insider insights and connect with guests like I do every single day. For more information, go to zibbemedia.com and follow me on Instagram Ibbeowens today is number eight in the 10 most downloaded Totally Booked episodes of 2025. We're using these two weeks to whet your appetite for those episodes you may have missed. So enjoy. Loretta Rothschild is the author of Finding Grace, a novel. Loretta is originally from London and currently splits her time between the UK and Italy. She lives with her husband Nat, their young son and their beloved dogs. Finding Grace is her debut novel. And by the way, I am absolutely obsessed and love this book so much. Welcome Loretta. Thank you so much for coming on Totally Booked with Zibby. I am so obsessed with your book, as you saw from my Instagram. And now all these people want to read it right now and are so annoyed that I wrote all that before it is available. But Finding Grace, oh my gosh, it's so good. Congratulations.

[Loretta Rothschild]

Oh, that's so nice. I'm so. I was very touched by your post. It's. It's all very new, so it's so nice when someone even knows your book exists, let alone likes it. So that was really touching. So thank you.

[Zibby Owens]

I didn't just like it. It's so good. The writing is so good, the plot is so good, the emotions. Like I just, I was so sad. I didn't. As I got towards the end, I just like wanted to slow down so I didn't lose the characters. And yet then I also had to speed up to see what was going to happen. And now I have so many questions, but maybe I'll have to ask you offline. So I don't give anything away. A few things that I think it's.

[Loretta Rothschild]

A really tough book to talk about and we've discovered this because the most exciting thing is knowing nothing about it. Yes. And that's been something that, you know, my agent and my editor Sarah, we just sort of sit and go, so what can we say? And it's it's not easy, I have to say. It's not easy. Even now we still, we still try and work out how to describe it. Yeah.

[Zibby Owens]

Do you want to give a one line description or something? Of what? Without giving things away?

[Loretta Rothschild]

Without giving anything away. I think I would say that at the core of it, at the core of Finding Grace is a love story between two characters whose lives are appended by unexpected events. And I wrote it wanting to write about these two characters. So it is a love story, but it has maybe the kind of speed of a thriller. That was what I wanted to do was have it be, you know, straight from the beginning for it to just become. I didn't want any. I wanted to do things that were unexpected but still being very loyal to structure of a love story.

[Zibby Owens]

Well, there is, it's built around a secret. And whenever people have secrets, the sort of corrosiveness and the self destruction that comes from keeping a secret and the after effects, sort of the ripple effects rather of secret keeping and all of that and how it can kind of drive you mad, I feel like that is part of this as well.

[Loretta Rothschild]

It's a full, it's a full time job for honest people. You know, what, what I discovered with Thomas, I was stressed, you know, writing on his behalf and you know, he, he's. He's in a kind of. He's not a liar, he's made a terrible mistake and he gets very, very far in and it, it's very stressful to not be living in the truth. And it's a good lesson, you know, it's a full time job. It would sometimes wake me up at night because I would be kind of energized from certain things I was writing. It was very real. It was real to me. So I think it was really a lesson in just how unbelievably overwhelming emotions like grief and love can be and how intoxicating they are, just how dangerous they can be and put you in a place and make you do things you would never do. You know, Tom would never have done those things had he not been in such a deep well of grief. It would never have happened. Without giving anything away.

[Zibby Owens]

Oh my gosh, this is killing me. Well, in broad strokes, it's also about motherhood, the quest to be a mother, what it means to be a mother. Part of it is set because one of the characters, Grace, is training to be a master sommelier. So you have all this wine stuff thrown in. You have parenting and how to be a good parent and the Role of friends. You really have the village really mapped out of how to get through something and who is supporting who. And the supporting characters are so vivid and they're not even support. They're like very central characters and just loyalty and then mother, daughter relationship. I mean, you have like everything. So I found myself wondering because you wrote so exquisitely about grief and I read a lot of books that talk about grief in many ways and there was a fresh, almost fresh, it sounds, how can you have a fresh perspective on grief, which is of course the oldest emotion in time, but, but I really feel like you did and the way you wrote about it, especially with some one liners where you just distill all of it. Right. Sometimes it's the most simple explanations that are the most powerful. How have you been affected? Where does your grief story fit into these things?

[Loretta Rothschild]

I think, oh, that's very nice and thank you. Because sometimes you wonder, you're writing in the dark and you hope that what you're saying someone will understand and get what you mean. But I think, I think coming back to this idea of love and grief as co pilots, they do drive, you know, in life or in fiction, you know, they're really, they're real drivers for behavior and unexpected behavior. And I, I think I, I read a lot of, I read a lot of, A lot of books. But I really, I really took the grief element of this book incredibly seriously because of the magnitude of certain parts of it. And I think I stopped trying to diagnose grief or explain it. I just kind of wandered alongside of it. And I appreciated that the grief that grief has, everyone reacts in different ways and there is no correct way to deal with grief and there's no right or wrong. And I think trying to kind of understand it would have put me in a. Kind of blocked me a little bit. Instead, I just tried to go on the ride and it was helpful having Honor alongside me because she's so fun to write with. She's a great narrator. She's very, very, you know, she's a writer. So she could also inject a fresh take on something also with the context that, you know, it's her husband. So she's talking about someone she knows intimately. Which I think added to probably, I think maybe that might be the kind of. You talk about a fresh look. It might be that little bit of perspective that really made it touch in a different way because I would sometimes get upset or emotional because it sometimes felt cruel to do certain things to a character or, or put them in a Certain scenario. But she was very, very. I had rules for her as a. As a narrator because, you know, she is. She would have taken over if I hadn't have kind of kept her slightly in check because she is a writer. She knows all these characters so well, and she's an unexpected narrator for this story. And I obviously won' say why, but she really has everything that you need to kind of inject a story with. Joy, grief, love. And. And she just kind of brought it home. Like, I couldn't have done it without her. And I actually wrote it without her. I wrote it in the third person. And then I came and I just. I couldn't do it without her. She. She had to tell the story. So I think she in a way added that a kind of special. It has something. I can't even sort of put my finger on it. But I think she really took it to a different place emotionally.

[Zibby Owens]

Wait, so tell me the whole story of writing the book. You first wrote the whole thing in the third person. What did you know and when did you start writing and what was the process? And tell me the whole story. What were you doing before? Maybe just go back, Go, go, go back in your life, in the writing life. Where did this.

[Loretta Rothschild]

So I have. I think I've always been a writer. I think that, you know, you. I thought everyone walked around making up stories in their head. I thought that's what everybody did. So I would, you know, be having conversations in the car and my sister would be like, what are you doing? And I'd be like. And I'd be having an argument with two imaginary people thinking something because someone had said something. I think, well, that's really funny. And then I'd start having a conversation, and I just didn't realize everyone didn't do that. So I think you kind of born a writer in the sense that you do kind of always have the cameras rolling. But, you know, and I think that there's certain, you know, you wouldn't do it yourself if you weren't a writer. You just. How would you come to it and think, you know, I'm going to put myself in. In this almost kind of insane position of creating an entire world out of nothing. And I think. I think I just realized one day that, you know, oh, everyone doesn't think like this. And then I was always writing things, but I was never completing something. I was never, you know, I was just doing it because it was. I had to get it out. But honor was an extremely insistent voice in my head. She. She wasn't going anywhere. So I, I didn't, she was going to get written no matter what. So I think that's why this was the first thing I kind of went out into the world with because she was so, you know, she was, she was coming in hot. She was like, okay, this is what I want to do and everything. And even now sometimes I walk around and she'll make a comment about someone in my, in my, in my eyeline. She'll, you know, make some passing comments. And I, it's actually a slightly, it's better now because I'm writing my next book. And at times she just pops in with a huge opinion about something and I have to kind of take a walk or read something because she just comes in. And so it's a, it's a, it's a, I don't, I don't know anything else in a sense of a way to be. And there's a great line in the, in a movie called the Barefoot Contessa where Humphrey Bogart says to Ava Gardner, she says to him, can you teach me to act? Can you teach me how to act? And he says, if you can act, I can teach you. And I think it's the same with writing. You know, if you can write, you can really learn how to write. In terms of how do you make your idea digestible to more than just yourself? And that part is a different part. I think you can't sort of the sort of ideas and the wanting to create something has always been there. And then it was like, right, how am I going to execute this and make it what I see it as and digestible for people that don't know me, who I'm not sitting in front of. And it turns out that was a book.

[Zibby Owens]

Yeah, it's amazing.

[Loretta Rothschild]

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[Capital One / Better Wild / Blue Apron / Paycor Advertiser]

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[Grow Therapy / Greenlight Infinity Advertiser]

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[Zibby Owens]

So what were you doing in your regular life while this came to be like paint me a picture of life for you and then the book finding its way in.

[Loretta Rothschild]

So I was, I was living in this, I was living in la, my husband was doing, he was at us doing a. He was meant to be doing his PhD and I always had my laptop with me, I was always writing things down and I'd modeled before. So I was always kind of moving around and I was very used to kind of having all my books with me and my, you know, I carried everything with me so I was always able to write and I just kept writing every day. I would, wherever I was. I kind of got over the idea that I needed to sit at a certain desk and do it a certain way and I just got on with it. And L A was a place that, you know, everyone's talking about creating things, talking about things, incredible bookshops. So it was sort of fertile ground to, to, to get on with something. But I did get on with it quite quietly. I didn't want to talk about it until it existed. That didn't, didn't come naturally to me. But yeah, I think that was, that was about nine, eight years ago and.

[Zibby Owens]

Then how long what happened from nine, eight Years ago till now.

[Loretta Rothschild]

So I started. Started writing this book properly in lockdown. So I had a kind of maybe three or four chapters. And then with all that time and also sort of not being. There was no more excuses. I couldn't. There was no reason. I couldn't do it anymore, you know, and I loved that sort of. There was no obstacle. So I had to. I had to get on with it. And I did. And that was maybe just before. So maybe four years ago, something like that. Four years ago. And that's. That's now.

[Zibby Owens]

And then you just took it out as a. You got an agent right away. Was it just a. An easy process?

[Loretta Rothschild]

I got an English agent first and I got my agent, Jonathan Lloyd Curtis Brown. He read the first three chapters and, you know, rang me up. So, such a wonderful moment because you just think, maybe I'm mad. Maybe this is just like, no one's going to understand what I, what I've done. And he rang me up and just said, this is. I can remember so well what he said. He. I was like, hello? He said, I mean, I can't believe what you've done. I mean, this, this never happens. This is so dangerously brilliant. I don't know what to. And you just sort of. And I just thought, oh, my gosh, thank goodness. And he said, okay, right, let's get on with this. Let's get on with this. And so I just kept writing and kept writing and. And he sent it to Christy Fletcher at uta and she sent me a wonderful email as well, saying, you know, this is extraordinary, and let's do it. And then about a year later, I finally finished it and we went out with it. And that was when I was lucky enough to have St. Martin's Press buy it. And also my next book. So I get to do my next book with that. Sarah, too, which is amazing for me.

[Zibby Owens]

Can you share anything about your next book?

[Loretta Rothschild]

I'm a bit. It's too early. It's too early, but it's going very well. But it's, it's. It's, you know, it's. It's the gestation period. It's very, very. I'm very nervous all the time. It's going to go. It's just that moment where you. It's. It's very new. It's very new.

[Zibby Owens]

Okay. I won't dig too deep.

[Loretta Rothschild]

It's okay.

[Zibby Owens]

But just what are the things. Can you share anything about your own life or an experience? Because at least for grief. And I was, I was touching on this before I mean, you can't. You can't have written this beautifully about grief without having felt it, can you? I mean, is that even possible?

[Grow Therapy / Greenlight Infinity Advertiser]

Did you.

[Loretta Rothschild]

I mean, I've definitely had grief in my life. I've not had a traumatic event in the same sense as, as Honor and, And Grace and Tom. But I do think that grief is. Is such a pungent emotion. And I think depending on what kind of age it hits you, it can. It can really stick with you. And I. I don't know if I've kind of have an experience that would. Would kind of have led me to writing this book book and led me to writing it about grief in the way I have. I think I. I think I'm always listening and I'm always wondering. You know, I became very interested in. In fatherhood because of this book. And I had a conversation with someone completely off nothing. We weren't talking for the book or anything. We just met and he had a daughter and him and his wife were divorced and he was the soul. He looked after her most of the time. And I can't remember how we got onto it, but he do you know, Loretta, I very rarely go into a restaurant where someone says, oh, I'll get you a seat without saying, is it just the two of you? And it was moments like that I didn't look for things that were bigger than. Than the day to day. I think that maybe the reason it feels so kind of universal and, and real is because I. I didn't. I didn't go on a deep dive for anything. Anything. I. Sounds silly, but like bigger than the day. And I think that in the day things can happen that feel in. When you're in a certain. You know, when you're in a certain environment. And you know, that was obviously for that person, you know, they were with their child and is it just the two of us? If you hear that three or four times a week, I mean, that would be, you know, it had. It really kind of. It really touched me. I remember sitting there thinking, I mean, wow. I mean, he goes through that three or four times a week. And it was something I'd never thought about. I'd never thought about what that might feel like. And so that was very. There were moments like that that I really took seriously. And I wonder if maybe it's the day to day that. Where, you know, I don't know. I just. I really didn't take anything for granted. And I felt very. What's the word? I felt very responsible to make sure that I told that story between. For both the characters in the book. I wanted to make sure I did it justice because obviously, without giving too much away. And it is. There is, you know, a lot of joy that comes out of something in the book, but it definitely. Yeah, I didn't. I took it very seriously and I didn't want to. I wanted to make sure I did that particular loss justice.

[Zibby Owens]

Do you believe that there are doppelgangers, if you will, of all of us in the world, that there are people who are similar, or that we each have a person out there who could be a proxy for us in some way?

[Loretta Rothschild]

That's a great question. I wonder. I wonder. I think. I know. I. I don't know. I mean, I think we see what we want to see. And I think Onna talks about this in the book. You know, if I introduce you to someone in the context of being connected to me, you see them, you know, if they were walking down the street, would you think, oh, that person looks exactly like Loretta? I wonder if they're, you know, long lost sisters or whatever. I think that. I think that context is a real context, really does a lot of the work for us. But I'd like to think so. I mean, it would be quite cool to have, you know, another version of you. But, yeah, I mean, I can't imagine if that would be. I mean, it would be quite cool.

[Zibby Owens]

Are you prepared for the level of success this book is going to blow up?

[Loretta Rothschild]

It's.

[Zibby Owens]

I just know it. It's amazing. It's going to blow up. Are you ready for that? Are you excited for all that comes with it?

[Loretta Rothschild]

You know, someone asked me the other day what I wanted for this book, and I sort of thought I. I wanted this book to exist in the world and maybe for a few people to read it. So everything after that is a bonus. You know, I'm so lucky to have St. Martin's Press. Sarah Crichton and I, my editor, are just completely in sync. And I've just met the most incredible people. And the. The fun of it is that they totally got it. I mean, when Sarah and I met for the first time, she. She got it. She got the whole thing. She didn't want anything other than what I. I'd done. And working with her was just. It was just so easy and fun and she's so bright and so smart and so clever and I mean, what a. What a privilege to get to work with people like that. And everything is just. Everything is a bonus. And I hope people like it. I Hope they find a character in there that they maybe identify with or find funny or a moment that. And I think. I think there will be. I hope so. But it's just been really incredible, and I feel incredibly lucky that it's a real object in the world now.

[Zibby Owens]

Do you have a book or two that you loved that you were like, if only it could be like this. Like a book that I.

[Loretta Rothschild]

You know, that's. That's a great question, because I think when I looked back at what I was reading and what really stuck with me it was a lot of. There's a great book called Grievous, A Thing with Feathers, which is narrated by. Has three narrators, but one is a crow. And I found that. So it really changed things for me. It kind of gave me permission to allow Honor to take the lead. That book was hugely influential, looking back and. And also just, you know, traditional, you know, love stories like Jane Eyre. I mean, these books are perfect books. So you can have an, you know, you can have an original story, which is really what I wanted to do. I wanted to write a traditional story, a traditional love story, but with the kind of modern, twisty, bringing it to today, kind of what could happen? And leave questions like, does love one? Does one love take from another? You know, are we truly ever alone? Is that really, you know, fresh start that. These things I was so interested by, and I wanted to kind of write a book that would lead people to question things, maybe in. In. In. In. In the book. I didn't want to answer things. I thought it was so fun to kind of go along with these characters and. And even ask myself these questions like, does one love take from another? Does. Is that the thing? You know, so I'm. I'm a big. I mean, I'm a big. I love poetry. And. And actually, when I looked back at some of my notes before we did this, from things I was writing because I'm very analog. So everything is. Everything is in. Everything is. Is physical. So I have my notes, and I was looking through, and it was quite clear that I was. I was writing and asking these questions to myself all the time. And a lot of them I can hear on his voice kind of answering, but I still pose myself the questions, which is really fun.

[Zibby Owens]

Well, Loretta, congratulations. So amazing. I'm so excited for you. Thank you for coming on.

[Loretta Rothschild]

Thank you so much, Zibby.

[Zibby Owens]

Thank you for listening to Totally Booked with Zibby, formerly Moms don't have Time to Read Books. If you loved the show, tell a Friend leave a review. Follow me on Instagram, ibbeowens and Spread the Word. Thanks so much. Oh, and buy the books.

[Loretta Rothschild]

Ready to order?

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[Zibby Owens]

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[Loretta Rothschild]

Everything. Fire everything. The Capital One Saver card is at table 27, and they're earning unlimited 3% cash back. Yes, Chef.

[Zibby Owens]

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[Loretta Rothschild]

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[Zibby Owens]

Ooh, tiramisu.

[Loretta Rothschild]

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[Capital One / Better Wild / Blue Apron / Paycor Advertiser]

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[Grow Therapy / Greenlight Infinity Advertiser]

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[Loretta Rothschild]

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[Loretta Rothschild]

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[Loretta Rothschild]

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[Zibby Owens]

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