Totally Booked with Zibby: Episode Summary Featuring Nicola Kraus on "The Best We Could Hope For"

In this compelling episode of Totally Booked with Zibby, host Zibby Owens engages in an in-depth conversation with acclaimed author Nicola Kraus about her latest novel, The Best We Could Hope For. The discussion delves into the novel’s intricate exploration of generational impacts, trauma, family secrets, and racial dynamics, drawing from Nicola’s extensive personal and professional experiences.

Introduction to Nicola Kraus and Her Work

Zibby Owens warmly welcomes Nicola Kraus, highlighting her impressive credentials:

Zibby Owens [02:23]: "Nicola Kraus is the author of The Best We Could Hope For, a novel. Nicola co-authored The Nanny Diaries, the international number one bestseller and movie starring Scarlett Johansson and Alicia Keys."

Nicola's notable contributions to major publications and her entrepreneurial spirit are also acknowledged, setting the stage for a rich conversation about her literary journey.

Exploring The Best We Could Hope For

Book Overview and Themes

Nicola provides an overview of her novel, emphasizing its multi-generational narrative that spans from 1943 to 2014. She articulates her intent to examine how the parenting choices of the baby boomer generation influence Generation X and their subsequent parenting styles.

Nicola Kraus [04:07]: "It is a multi-generational story that goes from 1943 to 2014 because I wanted to look at the way the choices that baby boomers made as parents impacted Gen X and then the way that they live, heal and parent."

The novel also delves into themes of sisterhood, trauma, the ramifications of family secrets, and the complexities of racial identity, particularly within the affluent Upper East Side setting.

Portrayal of Racial Dynamics

Nicola discusses the nuanced portrayal of race in her book, reflecting on her own experiences growing up in racially segregated schools despite attending prestigious institutions.

Nicola Kraus [16:03]: "I felt like thematically, that also really tied into what was happening inside the home life of these characters."

This exploration highlights the often-overlooked challenges of racial integration and identity formation in environments that outwardly appear privileged and homogeneous.

Personal Experiences with Trauma and Healing

A significant portion of the discussion centers around Nicola’s personal journey with trauma and her experience with Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy.

Discovery and Impact of EMDR

Nicola shares how she discovered EMDR and its transformative effects on her life:

Nicola Kraus [11:17]: "Yes. I just wrote an essay about this."

She elaborates on how EMDR helped her address longstanding anxiety and reshape her narrative around past traumas, enhancing her capacity for joy and resilience.

Nicola Kraus [11:20]: "I did it for seven years. I would not be married. I would not be a parent. I would not be able to have the capacity for joy that I have if I hadn't done it."

Incorporation into Her Writing

This personal healing process deeply influences her writing, allowing her to authentically depict characters grappling with their traumatic pasts and their journey toward healing.

Nicola Kraus [09:35]: "Women, especially, coming out of the 1950s... it doesn't give you a lot of space to be human."

The Collaborative Journey and Solo Endeavors

Early Success with Emma Kraus

Nicola recounts her collaboration with Emma Kraus on The Nanny Diaries, detailing how their partnership flourished until they amicably parted ways to pursue individual creative paths.

Nicola Kraus [21:37]: "I wanted to be an actor... every few months I would sob and my parents would say, you should be a writer."

The success of their collaborative efforts provided Nicola with the foundation and confidence to embark on her solo writing project, The Best We Could Hope For, which took nine years to complete.

Challenges of Solo Writing

Transitioning to solo authorship, Nicola reflects on the differences between collaborative and individual writing processes, emphasizing the importance of autonomy and personal vision.

Nicola Kraus [24:22]: "It's very different when you're not under contract or under deadline."

Balancing Personal Life and Professional Commitments

Nicola shares her strategies for managing a busy life filled with writing, publishing, and personal responsibilities, including preparing for her upcoming bat mitzvah.

Nicola Kraus [29:05]: "I read an interview with Aaron Sorkin once... Whatever's at the top of the pile gets my undivided attention."

Her approach involves prioritizing tasks, dedicating focused time to each aspect of her life, and ensuring that her family receives her full attention amidst her professional endeavors.

Family Secrets and Maintaining Optimism

In the closing segment, Zibby and Nicola discuss the enduring impact of family secrets and the delicate balance between preserving relationships and seeking truth.

Nicola Kraus [30:16]: "Someone who you love very much may die and take their truth with them, but that doesn't mean that they didn't appreciate that you still opened yourself up and made that extension to them."

Nicola emphasizes the importance of fostering environments where loved ones feel safe to share their truths, while also finding peace with the unresolved aspects of their stories. This message underscores the novel's central themes of vulnerability, trust, and the quest for authentic connections.

Final Thoughts

Zibby Owens concludes the episode by commending Nicola on her insightful narrative and expressing excitement for her ongoing projects, including her contribution to the anthology On Being Jewish Now.

Zibby Owens [31:43]: "Can you take us back to how you became an author? ... How did it change your life to have all the success early on?"

The episode wraps up with a heartfelt exchange, highlighting the profound themes explored in Nicola’s work and her personal journey toward self-discovery and creative fulfillment.

Key Takeaways:

• The Best We Could Hope For offers a profound exploration of generational impacts, trauma, and racial identity within an affluent setting.
• Nicola Kraus’s personal experiences with EMDR therapy deeply inform her authentic portrayal of characters and their healing journeys.
• The challenges and rewards of transitioning from a successful collaborative partnership to solo authorship are thoughtfully examined.
• Balancing personal life with professional commitments requires intentional prioritization and focused attention.
• The enduring impact of family secrets underscores the importance of vulnerability and authentic connections in maintaining meaningful relationships.

Notable Quotes:

• Nicola Kraus [04:07]: "It is a multi-generational story that goes from 1943 to 2014 because I wanted to look at the way the choices that baby boomers made as parents impacted Gen X and then the way that they live, heal and parent."
• Nicola Kraus [11:20]: "I did it for seven years. I would not be married. I would not be a parent. I would not be able to have the capacity for joy that I have if I hadn't done it."
• Nicola Kraus [30:16]: "Someone who you love very much may die and take their truth with them, but that doesn't mean that they didn't appreciate that you still opened yourself up and made that extension to them."

This episode offers listeners a deep dive into the intricate layers of Nicola Kraus’s latest novel, enriched by her personal insights and professional experiences. It serves as an inspiring exploration of how personal healing and authentic storytelling intertwine to create meaningful literature.