Shannon Watts, FIRED UP: How to Turn Your Spark into a Flame and Come Alive at Any Age

Summary

Summary of "Totally Booked with Zibby" Featuring Shannon Watts and FIRED UP: How to Turn Your Spark into a Flame and Come Alive at Any Age

In this compelling episode of Totally Booked with Zibby, host Zibby Owens interviews Shannon Watts, the founder of Moms Demand Action and author of FIRED UP: How to Turn Your Spark into a Flame and Come Alive at Any Age. The conversation delves into Shannon's journey of activism, personal transformation, and the empowering message of her new book.

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Introduction to Shannon Watts and Her Journey

The episode begins with Zibby Owens introducing Shannon Watts, highlighting her impactful role in founding Moms Demand Action, her recognition as one of Time’s 100 Most Influential People, and her recent achievements, including mobilizing over 200,000 voters for Kamala Harris's 2024 presidential campaign.

Shannon Watts shares her transition from activism to authoring her book:

“[00:19] Shannon Watts: ...I decided to take a year-long break [...] I spent the next year writing this book on my own and interviewing over 70 women from all walks of life about their experiences in their life, how they've learned to come alive.”

The Birth of Moms Demand Action

Zibby and Shannon recount the pivotal moment following the tragic Sandy Hook shooting, which ignited Shannon’s drive to start Moms Demand Action as a Facebook group. Shannon describes the immediate reaction and the overwhelming response from women across the nation.

Key Moment:

“[06:46] Shannon Watts: ...I started a Facebook page [...] it was a clarion call to action, which was, when will women and mothers rise up against the most powerful, wealthy special interests that's ever existed, one that is killing our children.”

Challenges and Resilience in Activism

Shannon discusses the personal risks and backlash faced while leading a high-profile activism group. She candidly talks about receiving threats and the skepticism from law enforcement, emphasizing the strength required to persist.

Notable Insight:

“[09:17] Shannon Watts: ...there are threats of death threats, sexual violence to me, to my children. [...] I doubled down. And I think that it is an important safety valve for women to take and to see that they can get through the messy middle and come out the other side.”

Personal Transformation and Finding Fire

Transitioning to her personal life, Shannon opens up about her realization of unhappiness and the pivotal decision to end her marriage and career to pursue a more fulfilling life. This period of self-discovery laid the groundwork for her book and activism.

Reflective Moment:

“[12:49] Shannon Watts: ...I started journaling [...] I ended my marriage. We ended up being good friends and co-parents. I left my career and all of that was setting the stage for being able to start Moms Demand Action.”

Writing FIRED UP and Encouraging Personal Growth

Shannon explains how her book serves as a roadmap for women to identify and overcome barriers to living authentically. She emphasizes the importance of journaling and community support in personal transformation.

Empowering Advice:

“[21:32] Shannon Watts: ...The book is really a roadmap [...] The first thing I do suggest readers do is to get a journal like I did and to begin journaling.”

Founder Syndrome and Sustainable Leadership

Addressing the concept of founder syndrome, Shannon highlights the importance of building organizations that outlast their founders. She shares her deliberate approach to leadership and ensuring the longevity of Moms Demand Action by passing the leadership baton.

Essential Leadership Lesson:

“[26:17] Shannon Watts: ...Founder syndrome means that [...] when they eventually leave, [...] either the organization fails because they're not there, or they burn it all down because they can't stand to have it live without them.”

Hope and Activism for the Future

Shannon concludes with a message of hope, stressing that activism is a disciplined practice of choosing optimism over cynicism. She reflects on the progress made in gun safety laws and the critical role of women in shaping a safer future.

Inspirational Quote:

“[28:26] Shannon Watts: ...hope is a discipline [...] it's very easy when you're taking on the gun lobby to be cynical, but I think that can be an excuse for inaction.”

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Conclusion

This episode of Totally Booked with Zibby offers an inspiring look into Shannon Watts' dedication to activism and personal growth. Shannon’s insights provide a valuable guide for women seeking to ignite their passions and lead meaningful lives. Her book, FIRED UP, emerges as a powerful tool for those looking to transform their lives by aligning their abilities, values, and desires.

Listeners are encouraged to explore Shannon's comprehensive strategies for overcoming personal and societal obstacles, fostering a community of supportive women, and maintaining hope in the face of challenges. Through her story, Shannon Watts exemplifies the transformative power of turning a personal spark into a sustaining flame.

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Quotes with Timestamps:

• “[00:19] Shannon Watts: ...I decided to take a year-long break [...]”
• “[06:46] Shannon Watts: ...I started a Facebook page [...]”
• “[09:17] Shannon Watts: ...there are threats of death threats [...]”
• “[12:49] Shannon Watts: ...I started journaling [...]”
• “[21:32] Shannon Watts: ...The book is really a roadmap [...]”
• “[26:17] Shannon Watts: ...Founder syndrome means that [...]”
• “[28:26] Shannon Watts: ...hope is a discipline [...]”

This detailed summary captures the essence of Shannon Watts' episode, providing listeners with a comprehensive understanding of her experiences, challenges, and the empowering messages within her book FIRED UP.

Transcript

[Zibby Owens]

Hi listeners of Totally Booked with Zibby. This June we have one episode coming out every single day and to celebrate that I've started the June Listening Club. You can sign up on zibbedia.com or you can just keep listening and every day there'll be a little quiz on Instagram. We're giving prizes away every single day this month you're gonna get amazing stuff. You would all be invited to a party and a zoom at the end of the month to celebrate with a special certificate. So sign up on Zibbe Media today. Make sure following Totally Booked with Zibby on Instagram and get ready to listen. Make it a challenge. June is crazy. Find some airtime for yourself. Put it on in the background. Get ready to listen, learn, laugh and enjoy life.

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[Zibby Owens]

Hi, I'm Zibby Owens. Thanks for listening and watching another episode of Totally Booked with Zibby, a daily podcast and live show where I talk to authors all the time about their fabulous books and where you get to meet authors who may be your favorites and are as yet undiscovered. Today we are so Excited to welcome Shannon Watts, whose book Fired how to turn your spark into a flame and come alive at any age is what we're talking about today. Here's a little bit about Shannon. Shannon Watts is the founder of Moms Demand Action, the largest grassroots group fighting gun violence in the US Known as the summoner of a women's audacity, she has been named one of Times 100 Most Influential People, a Forbes 50 over 50 change maker, and a Glamour woman of the year. I always feel like, so insecure reading all these bios. I'm like, what am I doing? I'm like 49. Anyway. She recently organized the largest Zoom gathering in history, mobilizing more than 200,000 voters and raising over $11 million in support of Kamala Harris 2024 presidential campaign. Watts is an active board member of Emerge America, one of the nation's leading organizations for recruiting and training women to run for office. So today we'll be talking about Fired Up. Welcome, Shannon. Thank you so much.

[Shannon Watts]

Thank you. I am so thrilled to be here.

[Zibby Owens]

Fabulous. Okay, Fired up, tell us about your book.

[Shannon Watts]

So I, as you said, led Moms to man action for 11 years. I was a full time volunteer. Before that, I had a career in corporate communications. And at the end of my tenure at Moms to Man Action, I decided to step back. After we managed to pass the first federal gun safety legislation in a generation. I knew that my tenure would be finite. I didn't want to do it forever. I wanted to hand over the baton to someone with new energy and new ideas. And I thought I'd take a year long break. And I was running on a treadmill one night when I got a call from Maria Shriver.

[Zibby Owens]

As we do.

[Shannon Watts]

Yeah, as one does. I did not know Maria. And she said to me, look, I have a book in print. I want you to write a book. And I said, okay, about what? And she said, whatever you've learned about women, which is a lot. And I thought, when will I have this opportunity again? And so I spent the next year writing this book on my own and interviewing over 70 women from all walks of life about their experiences in their life, how they've learned to come alive. And the reason this was important to me was because, you know, I didn't really figure out what fired me up until I was 41 years old when I started Moms Demand Action. After a failed marriage and a failed career and a failure at a dozen small things that I just kept trying over and over again and finally figured out what the formula was. And it was marrying my abilities, my values, and my desires. And so I talked to these other women about how they did the same thing, and the result is fired up. And I'm so excited to see women in the audience here today who have followed that same formula and tried all kinds of things in their lives and to kind of come together in community right now with other women and realize that we deserve to burn all the way to the end of our lives.

[Zibby Owens]

Amazing. So let's back up for a minute. Starting Moms demand action. Take us back to that moment and how that started as a tiny little Facebook group. And you were upset one day and went into a yoga or Pilates class and you were like, is everybody not just as upset as me about Parkland? Right? Was it Parkland? Stony Hook. Stony Hook. I'm so sorry about Stony Hook and Sandy Hook. Oh, my gosh. Okay. Sandy Hook.

[Shannon Watts]

Yeah.

[Zibby Owens]

I actually am part of, like, Sandy Hook promise. And anyway, it made you want to start this talk about that.

[Shannon Watts]

So I had taken a five year break from my career in corporate communications. I was blending my new family, five kids, and it was a really cold day in December. I was living in suburban Indianapolis, and I saw on the television set that there was breaking news that there was a mass shooter inside an elementary school. And like many of you, I sort of sat down, stopped what I was doing, and just watched this horrific tragedy unfold. And it's unfathomable even today, so many years later that 20 children and six educators were slaughtered in the sanctity of an American elementary school. I went to bed in tears, devastated. I woke up sometime during the night that had turned into abject rage. And I didn't know what to do with it. As you said, I was in yoga teacher training, which if any of you know me, that's hilarious. I would be a horrible yoga teacher. But I got there and I couldn't believe we were acting like nothing had happened. And I rolled up my yoga mat and I got in my car and I went home and I opened my laptop on the kitchen counter and started a Facebook page, which was. Facebook was a very big deal with middle aged women in 2012. And it was a clarion call to action, which was, when will women and mothers rise up against the most powerful, wealthy special interests that's ever existed, one that is killing our children? And obviously that resonated with women all across the country. And they began emailing. I mean, if you know anything about type A women, right? Like, they were emailing and calling me and DMing me and asking, how do I do this where I live? And that was the genesis of becoming an organizer, even though I knew little to nothing about gun violence, the legislative process, or organizing.

[Zibby Owens]

And interestingly, it was Sheryl Sandberg who convinced you to keep going. This one phone call, it was hanging in the balance, and she called and it set your path forward.

[Shannon Watts]

Yeah, you know, I had calls from people like Cheryl and others who said to me, you don't have to do this, but we need someone to do this. And it kind of took the pressure off me because, you know, I went from being able to do what I wanted in my life. Driving my kids to soccer practice, making dinner, to being busier than I had ever been in my professional career. I would wake up in the morning and go to bed at night with nothing else but working on this. It was like a startup. And it was that pace, really, for 11 years. But the fact that I was given the option to do it instead of sort of feeling like I was forced to do it, really helped put that in perspective for me.

[Zibby Owens]

And it came with some risks. You talk in the book about the deluge of threats and stalker and the crazy van, like, outside your house and having to go to the police and really having to say to yourself, like, is this worth the risk and what can I do about this? And then even after you reported some of these things, the police and even people you know are like, well, that's what you get for standing up against this. Gun makers in a big industry.

[Shannon Watts]

Yes. You know, they say there's a fine line between naivete and stupidity. I was definitely straddling that line because I had no idea there would be this backlash. I really didn't know that there was sort of this very vocal minority of gun extremists who would be so outraged that I was trying to restore the responsibilities that should go along with gun rights. Not eradicate the Second Amendment or ban guns, but simply restore those responsibilities. You know, threats of death threats, sexual violence to me, to my children. And as you said, I called the local police because there was someone driving by my home and putting things in my mailbox. And that officer said, well, ma' am, that's what you get when you mess with the Second Amendment. And so I had to make a decision in that moment, as many of our volunteers have along the way, which is to say, okay, am I going to back down or am I going to double down? And I think that's a metaphor for the book, too. Right. That so many times in our life, all throughout our life, we're going to be given that choice to back down or to double down. And as women, that blowback is fierce, and we are expected to back down. And I doubled down. And I think that it is an important safety valve for women to take and to see that they can get through the messy middle and come out the other side.

[Zibby Owens]

But what did you do in that moment to make yourself feel safe enough to keep going?

[Shannon Watts]

Well, I happen to be very pugnacious, and my husband says I'm like a gremlin. And if you feed me after midnight, you know, it's like the anger comes out. I did not want to be silenced or intimidated. Right. I realized that if I lose my children, I have nothing left to lose. So only bad things could happen if I refused to move forward, not just to me, but to people all over the country. And that was the right choice. And it's not always easy. I'm not trying to be flippant. You know, there have been plenty of times when I was scared or when I was overwhelmed. But thanks to this community, and I talk about this in the book, too, you know, I call it a bonfire. All of these other women who supported me and gave me comfort and security and told me I could do this and did that to one another as well. I mean, that's sort of the key of practicing this way of life, right? To have this community of supportive women that you can rely on.

[Zibby Owens]

Well, thank you from everyone in the world, and as a mother of four, particularly, thank you for using your whole platform, your whole heart, all of your time, to stand up for what should be something that we take for granted, safety, when you go to school. So thank you for that, for all those years of service. It's amazing. Now, let's talk about your personal life.

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[Zibby Owens]

You open the book in a doctor's waiting office where you're having a terrible eczema outbreak, and you realize the doctor says, do you have any stress in your life? And you're like, how much time do you have? And you weren't kidding at all. And you had a face off and all of that. But you realize shortly thereafter that your body was really responding to the fact that you just didn't love your life. You weren't happy. And then you got to the point where you're like, I might not love my husband. Tell me about that moment.

[Shannon Watts]

So I married right out of college. My parents had a horrible divorce. I was an only child. And I think I was looking to create Another family, and I had three children. By the time I was 30, I just sort of was on autopilot. I had hoped to be an investigative journalist, but to pay the bills, I went into public relations. And I had married a person that I wouldn't have married if I had waited until I was 30 years old and my brain was fully developed. And I started journaling after the doctor's appointment you mentioned, where I had sort of a mini nervous breakdown in his office and realized I was at a crossroads, that I had made some bad choices and I either was going to keep living the way I was or I was going to undo those things, even if it came a great suffering to me. And I did eventually follow my journal's advice, which sort of put a road map forward for what I should do. I ended my marriage. We ended up being good friends and co parents. I left my career and all of that was setting the stage for being able to start Moms Demand action. Right? I had the time and space to start asking myself, what do I want? And imagine if women lived that way, if we asked ourselves what we wanted. So often women are taught to fulfill their obligations and men are encouraged to follow their desires. What would happen if women asked what they wanted? The society, the system is set up to prevent us from doing that. Because systems would fail, governments would topple, family systems would fall apart. But it's why also the most common deathbed regret is that I didn't live a life that was authentic to me. And I began to create this formula and to put it into motion and to be able to start Moms to me in action and to marry the love of my life. And you know, I think it's really important to remember also that every fire we start, it doesn't have to be as big as starting Mom's Domain action. It might be having a tough conversation, it might be going to therapy, it might be personal or professional or political. But whatever it is, I really want this book to encourage women to constantly be asking themselves, what is my unique formula for living on fire? Right? Figuring out what is holding you back and what it's calling you. But also how do I get to the end of my life and make sure that I burned?

[Zibby Owens]

So I actually had something similar where I got divorced at 40. I started this. I'm now married to the love of my life. I feel like there might be something with this customer schedule. I feel like if you want new women business leaders, just maybe partner with a divorce lawyer or something. Because the people who are gonna have the time and energy. Not to joke too much, but it is really hard when you're in the thick of it and at home with kids or working and balancing kids in life to then be creative and form things and so hats off to everyone who does that and has kids full time and all of that. What do you think it is about your break or your having time or just the mental space to be able to be yourself again? And also, why did you have the courage or the conviction or whatever to actually decide, okay, I'm switching my life, I'm turning a different corner. And I know you write all about this in the book.

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[Shannon Watts]

Yeah, and I, you know, I don't know that it's courage as much as it is just that I had reached the point where this wasn't the way I wanted to live for the rest of my life. And I think we can all identify with there's something in our life that isn't quite right or there are things that we want to do, but we're scared to do them. And, and I am very lucky. You know, I always think you're talking about, you're joking about divorce, but if you have three parents, that is ideal whether you're divorced or not. You know, it really did force both my ex husband and my husband to step up and to go to the soccer games and to do the driving and to make the dinners. I haven't cooked a dinner since Mom's Demand Action started and to kind of do their part. You know, one of my very favorite photographs is one of my kids getting an award, a soccer award, their junior year of high school. And my ex husband is on one arm and my husband's on the other. That never would have happened had I continued to be the helicopter parent that I was before. Moms Demand Action. You know, what's really interesting is that I interviewed, As I said, 70 women for this book. And I asked every one of them, what are you worried your deathbed regret will be? I'm obsessed with this idea of continuing to do things till the end of our life. And these women, almost all of them said the same thing, which is, I am worried that I am sacrificing the quality of being a mother, like my ability to mother for pursuing what I want. Have you ever heard a man say that? No. Because we are trained to fulfill our obligations before we follow our desires. I'm on the other side of that chasm now. My youngest is 24 and I can promise you none of them Say, when we look back, oh, I can't believe you didn't make that soccer game in 2006. Or I can't believe you didn't go to the fifth showing of my Peter Pan play. What they all say is, I'm so proud of you. I'm so grateful that you did something that lit you up besides just being a mom or just being our mom. And you set an example for me to be able to do the same thing. So I don't want that to hold women back. This fear of I can't do both because you can.

[Zibby Owens]

So how do women who are thinking or they just know something might be off, they don't know the next step to take. How can they leverage the formula that you outline in the book to take action in their own lives?

[Shannon Watts]

The book is really a roadmap, one that I followed, one that so many women have followed, and it breaks down all of the steps, but also it has really helpful exercises. The first thing I do suggest readers do is to get a journal like I did and to begin journaling. There is scientific data that shows journaling is incredibly helpful. I couldn't afford a therapist, I couldn't confide in my husband, and so I went to journaling and I have never stopped since that. And I think it's an incredibly useful tool. But also because I think community is so important to figuring out who we are and what we want. I'm starting Firestarter University. So for those people who pre ordered the book, they get enrolled in a year long program that will start in September with guest speakers from the book and, and really walking through all the components and all of the exercises together.

[Zibby Owens]

Yes, look for that on Instagram. There's a whole little write up. It looks amazing. I'm like, I'm signing. I want to sign up for a Firestarter University. So how do you though, go through the things that hold people back? There's fear, there's lack of resources. There's just, there's like, there could be a million reasons and yet they want to follow their heart. I feel like we all know deep down what is and isn't working in our lives. But yet it's not always so easy to just say, yes, I want to follow my desire. How can you get past the hurdles?

[Shannon Watts]

There's so much conversation and I'm so glad about that. There's a lot of conversation right now in the Zeitgeist about what women are doing. Right? All different kinds of podcasts. Julia Louis Dreyfus. They're Amazing what women can accomplish, especially now in midlife and beyond. What I wanted to get to was the how. Not just the what. How do you get there? And one woman said to me, I wish there was a manual, a handbook for how do you navigate the blowback that you're going to get as a woman anytime you enter the arena, anytime you do something that people don't like, that can be getting a divorce, that can be starting an organization, that can be asking for a promotion. And so this includes, this book, includes all of the potential, I call them extinguishers. Sticking with the fire metaphor, whether it's, Whether it's perfectionism or fear of failure or self sabotage. You know, there's a list in there and examples of women who have experienced these extinguishers. And it's also the messy middle, because when you take on a new challenge, it's not going to be smooth sailing the whole way through. I mean, there was so much messy middle and mom's demand action and in writing this book and so really understanding how women navigated that and understanding that it happens to all of us, I think is helpful. And the exercises that people can do in the book help you think through. Okay, what can I expect as an extinguisher when I pursue this thing I want and what are my plans for navigating it?

[Zibby Owens]

And did you have any of those extinguishers or any fears when it came to even writing? Fired up.

[Shannon Watts]

Oh, I mean, so many, you know, what would people think? What if it failed? All the things I list in my book, a fear of perfectionism, self sabotage, everything. Am I good enough? I think that's a question women ask themselves a lot. I mean, meet so many women who have brilliant ideas or they have incredible desires and wants and they sort of put them on the back burner. Because I think we're taught that a woman who fails has to disappear, has to go away. But if the worst thing that fails, that happens is that you fail, you've simply learned more to win the next time. That's actually our motto at Moms Man Action. We call it losing forward. And so I, I had to kind of journal through that and to think about what was really holding me back. Was it something society put in place? Was it something I set up? And I refer to this as a women's author writes in the book, it's called C I Y O O Complicit in your own oppression. How are we complicit in buying into what society tells us is holding us back? And I think examining those things is really freeing.

[Zibby Owens]

So aside from launching the book and Firestarter University and all of that, what else are you fired up about?

[Shannon Watts]

Oh, so much. I think there is a moral imperative in this country for women to run for office. And women only hold about 25% of the 500,000 elected positions in this country. We're only about 5% of Fortune 1000 CEOs. We don't have access to the levers of power that protect us, protect our families, our communities. And so I don't care if it's county coroner or sheriff or school board or city council, I think we should all be thinking about how we can serve our communities by running for office.

[Zibby Owens]

So interesting. You also put something in the book about Founders complex.

[Shannon Watts]

Founder syndrome.

[Zibby Owens]

Founder syndrome, yes. Talk a little bit about that.

[Shannon Watts]

Yes. So when I started Moms to be in Action, I got a call from a volunteer who was sort of my right hand woman for many years. I didn't know her and she had worked in Silicon Valley and we were getting up on a call one day and she just said to me, whatever you do, don't get founder syndrome. And I said, of course not. And I had no idea what shit that was. So I had to Google it. And turns out what it means is that when people found organizations, their identity can become so enmeshed in what the organization is that when they eventually leave, and that should be your goal, is to always leave at some point that either the organization fails because they're not there, or they burn it all down because they can't stand to have it live without them. And I wanted to make sure that I was practicing managing my ego in the finite nature of this role from year one. So every year I would ask myself, is this the year I leave? And it would always be, no, there's legislation that has to pass or this horrible shooting tragedy has happened, or I'm really needed on something else. And it was finally in 2022 when I was standing in the Rose Garden as President Biden signed the bipartisan Safer Communities act, the first federal legislation in generation to pass, that I just heard this voice say to me, this is the bookend to your work as the Moms Demand Action leader. And I did. I handed over the baton to a woman with a much different background and experience than I have, a Black woman with four children who lives in Washington D.C. and has experienced gun violence differently than I have. And I think that's what will help the organization live into perpetuity. Right? The new energy and ideas. And now I have all that experience and all those skills and all those interests that I can now move on and take into other fires that I'm going to start in my life.

[Zibby Owens]

So you've spoken to so many women. Do you feel hopeful? Do you feel there's hope that things will change, that gun violence will ebb? That just in general, are you feeling hope? Are you feeling tired?

[Shannon Watts]

I think you can feel both. But I will tell you that I really believe, and an activist said this, Mariam Campbe said, hope is a discipline. I do believe it is a practice that you wake up every day and you decide, I'm going to be cynical or I'm going to be hopeful. It is very easy when you're taking on the gun lobby to be cynical, but I think that can be an excuse for inaction. You know, this idea that I'm going to sit on the sidelines because nothing gets better and nothing ever does. And I find that people who think the gun safety activism hasn't changed to be someone who is not involved in it. You know, we passed over 500 good gun laws, we changed the culture. We helped elect hundreds and hundreds of women to office and survivors, you know, because we had this great community. And so I just, I think there's so much to be hopeful about. Politics is cyclical. Everything always changes. But if you give up, you can't win. And so I think to stay hopeful, to find a piece of the work you're passionate about, to commit to doing it and to understanding that that's just part of living in a democracy. Alice Walker said, activism is the rent I pay to live on the planet. And I believe that's true.

[Zibby Owens]

Amazing. Shannon, thank you so much for coming on Totally Booked. Thank you, thank you, thank you for listening to totally Booked with Zibby, formerly Moms don't have time to read books. If you loved the show, tell a friend. Leave a review. Follow me on Instagram ibbyoens and spread the word. Thanks so much. Oh, and buy the books. Ever wonder what your lashes are destined for? The cards have spoken. Maybelline, New York Mascara does it all. Whether you crave fully Fan lashes with lash Sensational big bold volume from the colossal A dramatic lift with falsies Lash lift or natural looking volume from Great Lash. Your perfect lash future awaits. Manifest your best mascara today. Shop Maybelline New York and discover your lash destiny. Shop now at Walmart.

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