← Totally Booked with Zibby
Totally Booked with Zibby
Tamara Yajia, CRY FOR ME, ARGENTINA: My Life as a Failed Child Star
00:25:27
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- [00:01]
Tamara Yaja
Close your eyes, exhale, feel your body.
- [00:03]
Zibby Owens
Relax and let go of whatever you're carrying today.
- [00:08]
Tamara Yaja
Well, I'm letting go of the worry that I wouldn't get my new contacts.
- [00:11]
Zibby Owens
In time for this class. I got them delivered free from 1-800-contacts. Oh my gosh, they're so fast.
- [00:16]
Tamara Yaja
And breathe.
- [00:17]
Zibby Owens
Oh sorry.
- [00:18]
Tamara Yaja
I almost couldn't breathe when I saw the discount they gave me on my first order. Oh sorry. Namaste.
- [00:25]
Zibby Owens
Visit 1-800-contacts.com today to save on your first order.
- [00:28]
Tamara Yaja
1-800-Contacts.
- [00:31]
Zibby Owens
I'm here with an exciting update. After a five year hiatus, the beloved parenting podcast Longest, Shortest Time is back. And it's picking up right where it left off, sharing the most unexpected, heartfelt and downright fascinating stories about parenthood, reproductive health and beyond. Host Hilary Frank started the show in 2010 after a difficult childbirth and recovery, hoping to connect with parents and non parents alike. But what she created became so much more conversations that are funny, poignant, sometimes edgy, and always full of surprises. In fact, Hillary was on my podcast as well. These stories are about life in all its messy, emotional and incredible forms, so don't miss out. Follow and listen to Longest, Shortest Time wherever you get your podcasts. Today's episode is sponsored by gab. The youth mental health crisis is all over the news and we know social media is driving it. This shocked me. The US Surgeon General warns that kids who spend more than three hours a day online are twice as likely to have depression and anxiety. With four kids of my own, we are constantly debating when is the right age to give some of our kids a phone? How do we monitor the phone usage for others? It is non stop, but now there's a solution. Here's the good news. A company called Gab has sol the problem by doing something no one else is doing. Their approach is tech in steps. Tec in Steps works by providing kids safe phones and watches tailored to every age, offering the right device at the right time. From GPS tracking enabled watches for young kids to increased features and parent enabled apps on the phones for tweens and teens, each device grows with your child. Bottom line, you don't have to give your kid a device that was made for an adult. Each get them Gab, which keeps them socially connected safely. I can't recommend Gab enough. Use our code to get the best deal on something that will make parenting easier and give you peace of mind. Visit gab.com that's G-A-B-B.com totallybooked and use code totallybooked for a very special offer. Hi, this is Zibby Owens and you're listening to Totally Booked with Zibby, formerly Moms don't have Time to Read Books. In my daily show, I interview today's latest best selling, buzziest or underrated authors and story creators whose work I think is worth your time. As a bookstore owner, publisher, author, and obviously podcaster, I get a comprehensive look at everything that's coming out and spend my time curating the best books so you don't have to stay in the know, get insider insights and connect with guests like I do every single day. For more information, go to zibbedia.com and follow me on Instagram. Ibyowens Tamaro Yaja is the author of Cry for Me, My Life as a Failed Child Star. Tamara is an Argentine writer, comedian, musician, and ex child star. She's written for Clickhole, Funny or Die and several TV series including Acapulco this Fool and and the upcoming Netflix series striplaw. She lives in Los Angeles with her husband and her dog, Odie. Welcome. Tamara, thank you so much for coming on Totally Booked with Zippy to talk about Cry for Me, Argentina, My Life as a Failed Child Star.
- [03:55]
Tamara Yaja
Thank you so much. I'm such a fan. I'm so excited to be here.
- [04:00]
Zibby Owens
Oh, that's so sweet. Well, I'm a fan too with this book. Oh my gosh. I read every page. I could not put it down. I was like at times pretty horrified and yet kept going. But ultimately it's such a great coming of age story and very funny to boot.
- [04:18]
Tamara Yaja
Thank you. It's a lot. I know. And I'm like, if I could go back and tone it down, would I? But then I wouldn't be honest because that's how it went down.
- [04:30]
Zibby Owens
You would not tone it down. You'd be a different person.
- [04:34]
Tamara Yaja
That's the thing. It's so funny. I got a review that was something like. It's so shocking. Like it's something like she, she confuses humor with shock and I'm like, sometimes I'm not trying to be funny. It's just kind of the way my family is, which is, you know, no boundaries and a little horrifying. But I wouldn't be telling the truth if I didn't spill all the beans.
- [05:03]
Zibby Owens
Oh my gosh. I, I keep being sort of haunted by your middle school experience. I think it was middle school when you were pressing the light, you didn't know you had to press the light to cross the street and you just stood there, oh my gosh it was so sad. I think I dog eared it. If maybe. Can I read this little passage? Do you mind?
- [05:23]
Tamara Yaja
Oh please, I would love to hear it.
- [05:25]
Zibby Owens
Let's see. So you're saying you wanted someone to drop you off, but they couldn't. So I memorized the route and walked to school on my own. In Buenos Aires, the streets were always filled with people, but Irvine, because you had just moved to the States, was an effing. I'm not going to say. I'm not going to curse the effing ghost town. Unfortunately, no one had ever warned me that in the United States you had to press the pedestrian buttons at crosswalks if you wanted the walk sign to turn green. When I reached my first major crosswalk, I waited for the light to change on its own, but it never did. So I stood at that intersection for 30 minutes until a Hispanic woman who was pushing a blonde baby in a stroller walked by and pressed the button for me. You may think it weird that I didn't just cross whenever I saw that no cars were coming, but I stayed in place out of fear that the cops would catch me crossing against a red light and deport me. Because of this, I was over an hour late to school on the first day and was written up. Oh.
- [06:24]
Tamara Yaja
This is. I, like, this makes me want to cry. This is one of those passages in the book that. That are truly sad. And I feel like so many people focus on like the funny or the gross. But like, I'm so glad that you read this one because it's. I can. I still remember myself as a. What was I, 11? Standing in that. It was a cloudy day and it was just so sad and heartbreaking. Poor little me.
- [06:55]
Zibby Owens
Poor little you. So sorry. And that wasn't the end of it either. You were so on your own, you know, and like even the littlest asks were always met with no's and you just had to find your way through it. And you didn't even understand the language. At one of your schools, they were all speaking Hebrew and you're like not even knowing the language and just oh my gosh. And all these creepy men in your life and people like, oh my gosh. You just. It was just like one thing after another and feeling so like other and not fitting in and just oh my gosh. It was. It was kind of hard, heartbreaking, you know it is.
- [07:32]
Tamara Yaja
And you know, my God, I'm like crying right now because for so long, I think even until I'm 41 now, and before I wrote the book. I so thought this was all normal. And I so thought that I had a totally, you know, healthy upbringing with. With healthy people that surrounded me and, you know, my family and I still love them, but it's so nice when I wrote the book to finally acknowledge that it wasn't okay, you know, and in the intro of the book, I talk about never. I never wanted to have kids because of the upbringing I had. And I think the book was so healing that I totally just flipped on that wanting to have kids. And now I'm trying.
- [08:23]
Zibby Owens
That'll be part two, the sequel.
- [08:25]
Tamara Yaja
Exactly. Exactly.
- [08:27]
Zibby Owens
When you give birth to a child star.
- [08:29]
Tamara Yaja
Oh, my God, no.
- [08:33]
Zibby Owens
So the child star angle of it all was through this deep seated need of yours for attention, honestly, which you were getting by performing. I mean, this is my therapist take on it. Not that I'm a therapist, but, you know, this. Literally the cry. The cry for attention, the. And also because you were talented, right. Like getting up there and. And having no, like, no filter when you were performing.
- [08:57]
Tamara Yaja
No filter. Because that's all I learned. I come from a family with no filters. And my idol as a, what, eight year old was Madonna during her erotica years. Of all of them. The most sexual of all. Yeah. But I have to say, like, it's true. I did want attention. I did. But I also loved singing and dancing, you know, So I have this duality with performing now as an adult, which I'm so scared to get on a stage. And I have so many conflicting feelings about it, but when I'm up there, I love it. Yeah.
- [09:38]
Zibby Owens
There was the one scene where a creepy man was in the front row and you could tell he was looking up your skirt and then he passed you and, like, burned you with his cigarette. And you knew it was on purpose, but you didn't want to tell anybody. Like, oh, my gosh, these things happen to you all the time. Yeah.
- [09:56]
Tamara Yaja
I think, like victims of abuse in that way. Can they. These kind of things can keep happening to them. I've learned it's a lot of the times, not just once, that the abuse happens, because I don't know what it is. I'm not sure, but I think you normalize it or there is this kind of need to plead everybody. And if, you know, not complaining about a man looking up your skirt means that you won't offend the man that is looking up your skirt when you're 11 years old. Yeah. Lots of therapy was needed after this.
- [10:36]
Zibby Owens
You also had so much experience with different sort of socioeconomic statuses. In your own family and feeling like your parents were finally making it and then you. Things would completely change. And being in private school and then not having enough money for anything and living in houses without any furniture and then getting your furniture and having it flood and then having nothing again. And this also like. This like forced codependence with your parents and their parents, perhaps as a result of the financial situation, but who even knows?
- [11:07]
Tamara Yaja
Totally. Totally. Yeah. It's so crazy, Zibby, because I. For the first time in my life, I'm taking a break from my parents right now. And it's been one week since I haven't spoken to. To them. And I thought I would be so bummed about this, but in a way, I feel a weight lifted off my chest. Like I needed to break this cycle of codependency because I was doing it. I. I was still calling my mom like three times a day. And my parents were so codependent with their parents that they expected the same of me. And I was just not willing to do that for my own mental health. So, you know, I think it's a very Jewish thing, the co. Dependency side of it, but I think the levels are just had become too unhealthy. And it's so funny because I keep thinking like, this is a com. A comedic memoir, but it's also not.
- [12:09]
Zibby Owens
Yeah, I mean, you have to laugh sometimes to get through anything. Isn't there some famous quote about that, like, all pain, all laughter comes from pain or, I don't know, something.
- [12:17]
Tamara Yaja
Totally. Totally. It was. It's the way to keep going for me, you know, is to find the humorous side. And I wouldn't take anything back. It was. That's how my life happened. And I was able to write this book. And if this book can help even one person, you know, recognize abuse in their family or codependency traits or. I don't know, it just makes it all worth it.
- [12:44]
Zibby Owens
Well, your grandparents, I mean, sometimes I think my parents, you know, we all feel like we have to put up the boundaries when we become grownups. Right. That is part of individuating and stuff. And so for anyone who feels like their parents might be crossing the line, all they have to do is read your book because your grandparents, like, literally moved and surprised you from Argentina to the US into the next apartment so you could hear like your most intimate sounds through the wall with. When you left, like, get away.
- [13:17]
Tamara Yaja
Oh my God.
- [13:18]
Zibby Owens
How do your parents even think about this now? Do they acknowledge sort of the, you know, it sounded like your dad got mad more than.
- [13:25]
Tamara Yaja
Yeah, my dad couldn't stand his father in law in the same way my mom couldn't stand her mother in law yet. There was just this enmeshment. But you know, as a kid I, I was thrilled that my grandparents had immigrated from Argentina to the United States to follow us. I had grandparents, but the reason my parents left Argentina was to get away from them. So I cannot imagine what that must have been like. And then at the end, when I'm an adult, we all, for kind of all of us end up living together again with the grandparents, which again, I was happy about it, but not so much my parents.
- [14:08]
Zibby Owens
So you basically catch us up to now right when you start writing and going into writers rooms and stuff. But maybe for people, because I just like jumped right into this book and like, like the things that most affected me. Take us through a little bit of the overview of your story and what the book is essentially covering.
- [14:25]
Tamara Yaja
Yeah, I mean, it spans my entire life, but it is, it talks about my parents immigrating when I was a child, five years old, from Argentina to the United States, back to Argentina. And then when I arrive in Argentina, I have a small. I try to become a small star, a child star. And the moment that I make it and I get cast on this big, you know, kind of Mickey Mouse Club type show, my parents decide they are returning to the United States. And you know, that's leads us to part four of the book, which is adulthood and all the tribulations of moving back and forth and what that does to like a teenage child and my, you know, issues I had with drugs and with self esteem. It's just kind of what does all of that moving and that codependency do to a teenage child? And it, it ends happy with me getting back to performing or to which I loved, but not in the way that I used to do, which was getting on a stage and doing like a Madonna impersonation, but through writing and expressing my creativity through, through that. Which is nice. More behind the scenes, which suits me a little better.
- [15:50]
Zibby Owens
I think you even had, when you were in Argentina one time after you switched schools, you ended up Jewish in a school full of kids who thought it'd be funny to like name their sports team the Nazis and like drawing swastikas literally on their hands. And it was basically like this immigration of former Nazis right into Argentina at the time.
- [16:11]
Tamara Yaja
Yeah, Argentina, very interesting place because there are so many Jews in Argentina and there are so many descendants of Nazis and a lot of Nazis escaped to Argentina. And for me, coming from, you know, going to Jewish schools for Hebrew schools for so long, switching to that kind of public school full of kids that didn't know what they were talking about was so, so hard. And the shame and the feeling so alone and the confusion of it. But yeah, these kids were little assholes. Yeah. I remember a birthday party where you had. They had to name team names. And these two, you know, they must have been 11, they were like, our team name is the Nazis. And I wanted to run into the bathroom and sob. It was just horrendous.
- [17:07]
Zibby Owens
And then even here, when you moved in with your family friends and you were like, we moved out because we didn't want to be in a position, but we absolutely weren't in position. Like, you stayed with them for two weeks. And the girl. And the girl who was your age, who. And this is another really sad moment when you get off the plane and you're like, oh yeah, I have my friend. And you could tell immediately that she was just like, not having it. And then all her friends in the room next to you were just making fun of you and not inviting you. I mean, it's so sad.
- [17:35]
Tamara Yaja
It is so sad. It feels so good to admit that it was sad, Zivy, you know?
- [17:42]
Zibby Owens
Yeah.
- [17:43]
Tamara Yaja
Yeah, it was devastating. And like, thank God I got to write this book. I really, really needed to get all that stuff out. It just, it was relentless sadness.
- [17:54]
Zibby Owens
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- [22:27]
Tamara Yaja
Yeah, I. I think it was that it was constant change. And I do have to say, I mean, there were moments in Argentina that. That second time we lived there where. I don't go into it in the book, but I felt. This was when I went into performing. I felt so happy. I was surrounded by, you know, my parents, friends, and their kids, who were my friends, and my group of performing, you know, crew, which I. I write about a lot. And I. I guess I. I didn't explain that part in the book, but I felt like I so belonged, which is why when we uprooted again to come back to the United States, it was just crushing. And. But I. I have to say, like, I just think that might be the experience of someone who immigrates. It's not easy.
- [23:20]
Zibby Owens
Yeah.
- [23:21]
Tamara Yaja
Starting a new school with a new language, with no family, it's so hard.
- [23:27]
Zibby Owens
And I feel like the way your parents sort of parented, like, no judgment or whatever, but it was very much like, you figure it out. Like, okay, here you go. Here's the school. And, like, we're busy. Like, you know, now we're gonna try to drive the fruit trucks and make a living. And, like, you just have to deal with school.
- [23:43]
Tamara Yaja
Yeah. And I think that that's a very immigrant. If you talk to most kids of immigrants, they'll say, you know, my parents didn't know what grade I was in. You know, there was no support when it came to, like, academics and stuff like that, because they were figuring it out. But I did have this crazy talk with my dad after my book came out, where he admitted to me that he was shocked that I had such a hard time adapting. And he said, I thought you and your sister just laughed throughout this whole, you know, back and forth moving. And I was like, that just shows how, you know, your emotional intelligence is not that developed that you think that it was that easy for, you know, two small kids. We were laughing throughout all the moves. Now, you can tell I have a little bit of resentment towards them, which. But I think that's healthy. To process. Like, no, we were not laughing. And here's the thing, Zibi, we were laughing, we were trying to make the best out of it. But like, deep down we were not happy kids.
- [24:50]
Zibby Owens
Yeah, well, I also am not sure how happy they were.
- [24:54]
Tamara Yaja
No. But I don't think they had time to even stop and ask themselves that. You know, there's also another layer to the book which is the mental illness that runs in my mother's family. Right. So which is something I'm also coming to terms with, like having a, you know, very borderline personality, narcissistic mother. And there was not much space for me and my sister because she kind of sucked all the air out of the room and it was always her, her, her. So that's another fun little happening.
- [25:33]
Zibby Owens
But it sounds like you have a great new therapist, right?
- [25:36]
Tamara Yaja
I have a great new therapist and I have boundaries now and I have a wonderful husband. Husband who I don't talk about in the book at all because it's funny, my mother in law read the book and she had the same reaction as you. It was just like, how did you. How are you a functioning adult? Right. And she said, I love that you protected my son and you didn't talk about him. You can tell that he's really precious to you and that you didn't need to talk about him. And it was totally true. You know, it's the family that I created now, which is also why I'm dying to have kids and start, you know, my healthy family of my own.
- [26:20]
Zibby Owens
Oh, well, I think it's really great that you put this book out there. I mean maybe the, the shock and the, the rawness of the like how you describe different sense as being like body parts that are like, you know, all these things and like the, the bathroom pieces of it and the sexual pieces that are like pushing the boundaries. Like, I don't know, I feel like it's just an a way, it's just a, it's just the COVID you know.
- [26:55]
Tamara Yaja
Yes, it is. And I think that's the part that if I could go back now and tone those parts down, I guess those would be it. But at the same time, like when I wrote this book, no, I told it exactly like it happened, you know, and in my family there are no boundaries. We talk about poop at the dinner table, we talk about sex super openly. I mean, my mom is an only fans model model. It, you know, it is what it is and I wouldn't have it any other way. That part of my mom doesn't bother me. Like, I think, like, go for it. If you feel like selling pictures of your boobs and, you know, makes you happy, that's cool. That part doesn't bother me. It's the, you know, not treating us like, with respect that bothers me.
- [27:47]
Zibby Owens
Yeah. Well, I hope the distance helps, you know.
- [27:51]
Tamara Yaja
Yeah, it's already helping, and it's not ideal, but for me, it's what I need right now, so.
- [27:59]
Zibby Owens
And when you wrote the book, did it all just come pouring out? Or did you have some sort of outline? Or did you. Like, how was that process. What was that process like for you?
- [28:09]
Tamara Yaja
I did have an outline. I think my first draft of the book was rough, and I had incredible editors. That. One of my two editors is from Argentina, so they really helped me hone in on a narrative. I think I was trying to do weird stuff in the first draft. Like, a lot of jumping back and forth from the present day to the past. And when I started telling it just chronologically, it just felt like a smooth narrative. And, yeah, I'm really happy with how it came out. And, you know, I want to say the book isn't for everybody in that it is very shocking and hard to read, but at the same time, you're peering in, through, into the life of someone. And that was my life. So, you know.
- [29:02]
Zibby Owens
So what do you like to do these days when you're not writing, performing, working? Like, what's your. What are some of your happy things that you do?
- [29:10]
Tamara Yaja
I love RuPaul's Drag Race. I'm a huge fan. I watch way too much of it. I read a lot, and I've made it a point to start reading more. I'm currently rereading Middlesex, which I hadn't read Since I. For 20 years. It came out 23 years ago. What else do I do? I love going out on walks and dinners. I love dinners with friends.
- [29:36]
Zibby Owens
That's awesome. Do you have advice? Let's say there's someone who's trying to write their story the way you did of their life, using their life as material. What advice do you have?
- [29:47]
Tamara Yaja
Do it. You know, it, like, comes down to just sit down and start writing it. And the excuses have to go out the window, and you need to write it, even if it sucks at first, it'll get better. And have something ready for when you find that literary agent or the publisher. You have to have something down on paper, even if it's, like, the first 25 pages. I think there's, you know, you can't skip around that one.
- [30:24]
Zibby Owens
And you mentioned this in passing in the book, so I just wanted to see if you had any more to say about it. But you did say, and by the way, I did once spend all this time with Brad Pitt, like a whole weekend. Like, what did. What happened there.
- [30:39]
Tamara Yaja
When I. I shouldn't have included that in the book because it's gonna take over everything. But I did. I met Brad Pitt through a friend and we hit it off. Not romantically. And I had a summer where I hung out with Brad Pitt, went to his house, we went, played board games, we went to concerts, and it was crazy. I was just telling someone, when I met Brad Pitt at his house, I was so, so nervous. And he came up to me and he was like, hi, I'm Brad Pitt, or hi, I'm Brad. And I was like, yeah, but it was wild. I will be telling the story when I'm in a geriatric home in my 80s. I will be saying I was friends with Brad Pitt for a summer.
- [31:33]
Zibby Owens
Oh, too funny. Okay, well, thank you so much. This book really made me feel. And that is what I look for in books, when you feel all the range of emotions and number one, compassion and admiration that you got through all of it and you wrote this book and you showed them and you got to go back to Argentina and have that book party. And I was like, go you. So congrats.
- [31:57]
Tamara Yaja
Thank you so much, Zibby. Thank you for having me too.
- [32:00]
Zibby Owens
You're welcome. All right, best of luck.
- [32:02]
Tamara Yaja
Thank you.
- [32:03]
Zibby Owens
Okay, take care.
- [32:05]
Tamara Yaja
Bye.
- [32:05]
Zibby Owens
Bye. Thank you for listening to Totally booked with Zibby, formerly Moms don't have time to read books. If you loved the show, tell a friend, leave a review. Follow me on Instagram ibyowens and spread the word. Thanks so much. Oh, and buy the books.
- [32:28]
Tamara Yaja
Packages by Expedia. You were made to be rechargeable. We were made to package flights, hotels and hammocks for less. Expedia made to travel. Acast powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend.
- [32:53]
Zibby Owens
This season on the Dream. Supplies are being by nurses who run out in the middle of the night and purchase diapers, but the hospital is still charging as if they still have these items.
- [33:05]
Tamara Yaja
We are digging into every topic we've.
- [33:07]
Zibby Owens
Ever wanted to cover on this show.
- [33:09]
Tamara Yaja
It's a spinning plate analogy. The second that you stop spinning those plates, that crashes. So you can never stop working. The Dream Season 4 comes at you weekly. Starting Monday, January 20th.
- [33:24]
Zibby Owens
Acast helps creators.
- [33:25]
Tamara Yaja
Launch, grow and monetize their podcasts everywhere.
- [33:29]
Zibby Owens
Acast.
- [33:30]
Tamara Yaja
Com.