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- [00:00]
Tony
G'day America. It's Tony and Ryan from the Tony and Ryan Podcast from Down Under. Today we want to talk to you about Boost Mobile, the newest 5G network in the country. These guys are no longer the prepaid wireless company you might remember. They've invested billions into building their own 5G towers across America, transforming the carrier into America's fourth major network alongside the other big dogs. Yep, they're challenging the competitors by working harder and smarter, like this amazing new network they've literally built. The Boost Mobile network work together with their roaming partners covers 99% of the US population, but 5G speeds not available in all areas. Yep, they have blazing fast Internet and plans for all the latest devices. Visit your nearest Boost Mobile store or find them online@boostmobile.com want a workout that actually works?
- [00:50]
Ryan
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- [01:51]
Zibby Owens
Hi, this is Zibby Owens and you're listening to Totally Booked with Zibby, formerly Moms don't have.
- [01:58]
Tinks
Time to Read Books in my daily.
- [02:00]
Zibby Owens
Show, I interview today's latest best selling, buzziest or underrated authors and story creat whose work I think is worth your time. As a bookstore owner, publisher, author, and obviously podcaster, I get a comprehensive look.
- [02:15]
Tinks
At everything that's coming out and spend.
- [02:17]
Zibby Owens
My time curating the best books so you don't have to stay in the know. Get insider insights and connect with guests like I do every single day. For more information, go to zibbymedia.com and follow me on Instagram.
- [02:31]
Tinks
Ibioens.
- [02:35]
Christina Najjar
Tinks is the author of Hotter in the Hamptons, a novel. Christina Najjar, popularly known as Tinks is a digital creator, advice expert, podcast host, and New York Times bestselling author. Tinks's wit and candor have established her as a resounding voice for women with her uniquely engaging and empathetic approach to content resonating with millions. I, by the way, am one of those millions. I've been following her since the pandemic. Anyway, moving on from her satirical rich mom content and takes on popular culture to her theories on sex, dating and relationships, and her honest reviews and recommendations of everything from food and restaurants to beauty, fashion and lifestyle products, Tanks possesses an effortless ability to capture the cultural zeitgeist. Tanks has developed a devoted fan base of those who come for her expert advice, often given with her famous mini mic in hand and to have a.
- [03:30]
Tinks
Great laugh at the same time.
- [03:31]
Christina Najjar
In 2022, tanks launched her podcast and live call in radio show with Sirius XM It's Me Tanks, sharing everything her followers have come to know and love about her content while offering an intimate glimpse into her life. In May 2023, Tanks published her New York Times best selling book the Shift. Change your perspective, not yourself, A guide to a new way of thinking about life, love, happiness and friendships. Tanks's undeniable impact on social media earned her the distinction as one of Forbes top creators in 2022 and again in 2023.
- [04:03]
Tinks
Welcome tings. Thanks so much for coming on Totally Booked with Zibby to talk about Hotter in the Hamptons. Congratulations.
- [04:11]
This is the first podcast that I'm doing about the book, so I'm very excited.
- [04:15]
No way.
- [04:15]
Not the best version of me. By the end I'm like, oh, read it or don't. I don't care. So now you'll get the best, freshest version of myself.
- [04:23]
I am totally honored, especially from someone who has a podcast which is so amazing. And I got to listen to you. I was going to ask you about the new adaptation of the book from the Foster Sisters and then I heard you talking all about it and how excited you are. But first, why don't you tell listeners what your book is about?
- [04:41]
Yeah, my book is about an influencer who gets canceled and she has a steamy fling with someone unexpected. And it's a spicy summer read and it's very fun and juicy. There are some, you know, deeper themes. You can kind of take what you want from the book. It can be as fun or as deep as you want it to be. And it's my first work of fiction. It is a work of fiction. I think people hear like oh, it's about an influencer. They assume that it's about me, obviously, you know, they say to write what you know. And I do know a lot about the influencer industry, but it is fiction and. Yeah, I'm so excited.
- [05:23]
And what made you write fiction?
- [05:25]
You know, I had read a couple of articles about how romance novels were really popular, kind of regaining popularity and had sort of brought on this new life with Booktok and I, I'm kind of on Booktok and I loved how passionate everybody was about this category. And I didn't know a lot about romance prior to kind of like a year and a half ago. So I started reading a lot of romance and kind of fun, you know, like fun romantic reads. And I really enjoyed. But I often found myself, I don't know, I, I found that a lot of the time the protagonist was so perfect. You know, she was like a princess or she was like, worked at an animal shelter or she was like a neurosurgeon or whatever. Like these really, really perfect women, which I love. I think women are perfect. But I was like, what if, you know, I love kind of intricate, messy women. I think we all contain multitudes. And I just kind of thought to myself, well, what if, you know, the protagonist, she had kind of, you know, some flaws and what if, you know, the story wasn't as clear cut as just, you know, some of the ones that I'd read, which were all fabulous, by the way, but. And so I got sort of started thinking about that. And then when I was growing up, I started thinking about, I read the Gossip Girl books and I loved them. And I remember that one of the reasons that I loved them is because they were so replete with details about place like New York and the Hamptons. And when I was growing up, all I wanted to do was live in New York. Like, I was obsessed with New York, like so many young people are. And I would like write down like all of the things in the book. I'd be like, oh, they go here and you know, they wear this. And it was back in the day before social media. So that was kind of my win window into it. So I wanted to kind of combine all those thoughts and I, you know, it's also like a very spicy book. And I like talking about sex. I like, I think being horny is a good thing. I think, you know, it's human nature. My community and I, we really go there on the podcast, we go there on my ask me anythings and I just kind of all came together in this idea of this first book. So long winded answer.
- [07:37]
No, not at all. Basically, you decided to do it a year ago and you just whipped it out and now it's like this great book and the rest of us are just banging our heads against the wall.
- [07:44]
So thank you for that. Yeah, it's been.
- [07:50]
Read a few rom coms and you too can have a best selling book.
- [07:54]
Yeah, exactly.
- [07:56]
Was it easier or harder than you thought? I mean, you have so many creative endeavors going on. Like, this is a different part of the brain. Right?
- [08:03]
You know, I. It's definitely hard, but I really like writing because, you know, I went to school for writing. I did undergrad, English major, and then I have a master's in journalism. So for me, it's kind of a break from online. And I don't mean that in a holier than thou way at all. I am 100 addicted to my phone and I hide under the fact that it's for my job. And so for me, when I write, it's just using a different part of my brain and it genuinely feels like a relief. And if I really want to get something done, then I kind of stick to the schedule and it. So it's just, it's nice. It's nice to get away from my phone for an hour a day or whatever it is.
- [08:47]
Is that how you did it? Like short chunks each day versus yeah, short chunks.
- [08:51]
I'm someone who, like, I don't know. I think this is very Virgo of me. I like to lay everything out, like literally so then I can fill it in. Because, like, the satisfaction of filling out a chunk, whether it's a paragraph or a chapter, is very satisfying to me. So that's like the only way that I can get anything done in writing or beyond. Like, I have to make it many chunks and then just fill them out. Then it's not scary, even with, like big projects. You know, I. A long time ago, I read an interview with Emily Weiss, who's the founder of Glossier, and I think she's really cool and you know, kind of. She's been villainized in the media for. I don't really know why, but she. I remember like reading an early interview with her and she said they were like, well, how did you start Glossier and into the Glass? And she said she got a whiteboard and she wrote down all every single thing that needed to happen for her to. For her to do, for her to launch these companies and whatever her website. Like minute, minute things like figure out the font of this or whatever, like, tiny, tiny things. And it was, like, hundreds and hundreds of things on her list, and she just went to work on them. And that has always stuck with me. I mean, I must have read that, like, 10 years ago. And it's always stuck with me. And it's always been a really helpful framework for me. So I use that a lot.
- [10:09]
See, that makes me want to, like, curl up and do nothing. Just have that overwhelming a list. I know.
- [10:14]
I know. If it's on a list, it's plausible. If it's not, then I'm like, oh, it's so scary. And it's like. It's just, like, a big thing to do, and I don't know how to attack it. So.
- [10:24]
But yeah, so in the book, you. As you mentioned, there are a lot of themes, one of which really is about figuring out who you are and what you want out of life. And are you with the right person? Is that person bringing out the best in you? How much are you willing to give to someone else? So tell me a little bit about that, and where do you find yourself on that spectrum?
- [10:45]
Now, I think that, you know, something I've always spoken about on my platform is how important it is as a woman to find yourself and to know yourself. It's always been super important to me, probably because I didn't do it for so long. And it, you know, it kind of made me more miserable to not figure out who I am. And I felt very depressed and, you know, just kind of like a loser for a lot of my 20s because I wasn't focusing on the most. The hardest but most important thing, which is to work on the relationship with yourself. It's easy to chase after, you know, jobs and boys and money and clothes and all those things. Like, that's an easier pursuit than just quiet, quieting the noise and going, okay, well, who am I and what do I want? And, you know, finding your edges is so important. And so I think that's why I wanted that to be a main theme for Lola is, you know, she. She gets a little lost. And we often do, right? We often do. And I found nine times out of 10, when you feel super lost, the answer is within you. You don't need to look outwards. You need to actually look inwards. As cheesy as that sounds, it's very true. And it's kind of, you know, the kind of the theme of my first book. So I wanted to illustrate that somehow in this.
- [11:59]
Sometimes, though, it does take these precipitating events and you have the one in your book. But I feel like life in general, like with friends or me, or like it takes some thing where life is going a certain way and then it suddenly veers off and you have to sort of come head to head with yourself and figure out where you go.
- [12:16]
And sometimes you don't even know that you've lost yourself, you know, to your point, until something happens and you're like, oh, like I actually don't know who I am right now. And, and, and so that was very important for me to explore.
- [12:28]
I feel like Lola, the way you showed it, it happens slowly. Like you don't lose yourself overnight. You lose yourself little tiny bits and then you don't even notice.
- [12:38]
Exactly. And I feel like it honestly happens to a lot of, not even just women, but people in their 20s. I think 20s are a very mismarketed decade and because of that people don't spend a lot of time being introspective in their 20s. I sure didn't, you know, leave college and you're bright eyed and bushy tailed, but you have like a sense of self, kind of like even though it's like super naive, you kind of know who you are and you have ambitions and you have goals and then in your 20s you're just like, I hate my job, I can't find a boyfriend, I don't know what city to live in, should I go to business school, whatever. And you know, sometimes it's kind of until it's not until you hit the 30 mark. I think for a lot of people the event that triggers the introspection is turning 30. And then they're like, whoa, like do I even want the same things as I did? Is this even the right path for me anymore? You know, and for me, and I know that's true. I moved to LA when I was 29 and I was so lost. I was just so completely off of the path that I thought I should be on and had been on. And it kind of took like, well, it took a million things for me to do some introspection. But yes, I think I want to encourage even young people to not lose themselves and to really get to know themselves like you are. You should be your best friend, your own greatest ally, you should really know yourself. And I really do want to encourage young people to do that younger so that they can make good choices about who they spend their time with and what they spend their time on.
- [14:10]
I think part of it, like, you know, I'm much older than you, that's why I'm like 48. Like, I feel like it's easier for me to say, gosh, I wish I had clung to who I really was through those years. I was like, maybe not with the right people for me or whatever, but I feel like when you're going through it, it's like you're. It's like you're on a unicycle, like, trying to balance because you're changing as everything's happening to you, and it's like, impossible. It feels impossible.
- [14:34]
It does, yeah. And it's like, no, you make. You make a great point. Like, it's not easy because in your 20s, you are quite literally fighting to survive, and you don't know, like, you're sink or swim. And it is really overwhelming. So I agree. It's easy. It's sometimes it's. It's. A unicycle is a great, you know, image to have in your mind when we're talking about this, because it's just. It's really hard. And then all of a sudden you wake up and you're like, I don't even know what I like anymore. And you have to relearn that and allow yourselves a space to get to know yourself and. And reconnect with. With who you. Who you really are.
- [15:08]
I think that's why, you know, characters like Lola are so vulnerable to this passionate relationship with the person that, you know, whoever it is. Right. You can just. You fall so deeply when you don't have your own guardrails up.
- [15:21]
Totally. And you can. You try to, like, create your identity around the people that you date. Which is like, another theme that I really wanted to explore, because I think that's another trap that a lot of women fall under is like, they, you know, and falling in love is amazing. I'm not saying don't fall in love in your 20s and have those amazing relationships, but it's very easy to just take on a role of the. The person that you're, you know, you're dating partner or whatever. And I think that for longevity, happiness, all those things, you have to work on yourself and grow as well, even if you're in a relationship. Otherwise, you do get to that point where you wake up and you're like, oh, I don't really know who I am.
- [16:03]
And that's why the allure of the confident other.
- [16:06]
Christina Najjar
Right.
- [16:06]
Tinks
Like, Justin is so together. Like, he's a doctor. He's got it all together. He's, you know, stre straight. He's got his path, and it's like, oh, well, I'll just jump on that path. That's good.
- [16:16]
Very attractive.
- [16:17]
Yeah, very attractive.
- [16:20]
Zibby Owens
Today's episode has been sponsored by Wayfair. Oh my gosh, it is so nice outside today. It's one of the first spring days and it makes me so excited to just get outside and soak up the sunshine as the days get longer and warmer. And it makes me want to refresh my outdoor space and make it feel more mine. I don't know if you feel the same way, but with summer on the way, I have found so many great things on the Wayfarer site to spruce up my outdoors. There are these adorable throw pillows that I love that are blue and white. Blue is my favorite color and they have these fabulous outdoor games like Connect 4 and Croquet and things from my childhood that I am so excited for my kids to play with too. Delivery is always fast free and hassle free, which makes life so easy. I can always trust Wayfair to deliver. So if you're looking for outdoor seating or outdoor structures and gazebos or something small like, I don't know, a patio cushion, Wayfair has everything. And it's everything your home needs during the warm weather season too. Wayfair makes it easy to tackle all your home summer goals. So shop a huge selection of outdoor furniture online this summer. Get outside with wayfair. Head to wayfair.com right now. That's W A Y-F-A-I R.com wayfair every style. Every home.
- [17:52]
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- [18:13]
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- [18:16]
Bombas
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- [19:06]
Tinks
You have a lot of fashion in the book, which is very fun. So I was kind of wondering on the side, did you have to think hard about these. Were these actual brand partnerships, or was it just fun? Because these are brands you love?
- [19:17]
I thought a lot about. About, like, Lola and who she was. I did a lot of work. Like, I did all of those exercises at the beginning where you go through, like, pages and pages of, like, what's Lola's favorite color? Like, what's her food? What does she wear? Like, what's. What annoys her? I did a lot of that up front, which was honestly really helpful because I would kind of. I used it as my guiding light. And with the fashion, that's what came first to me. I was like, I saw her in exactly the boho dress that she was wearing to go to the interview. Like, I saw her, you know, how she doesn't really take care of her clothes that well, but she loves them. And I really, like, I saw her in my mind's eye, and that. That was honestly some of the first detail that came to the forefront, because I love fashion, too. And. And, you know, being in New York, I get to see the most fashionable girls in the world walk around all the time. Like, I feel like even just walking to get my coffee every morning. I see these girls and I'm so inspired by them, how they put their outfits together and. And throw fits even on, like, a random Sunday morning. So, yeah, I'm. Yeah, that was a fun part.
- [20:19]
Well, I'm sure this is probably in the works, but it would be great to have, like, buy Lola's attire shop, right? Are you gonna do that?
- [20:28]
Wow. No, that's a really good idea. We have to get on that. We really have to get on that. That's a genius idea, actually. Yeah, I just. I love. I love clothes. And again, I love when there's, like, those details in books. For this type of book. I think it's so fun to really see the little details of what she's wearing so that you can really imagine, you know, what she' I was like.
- [20:50]
I would like to click on this page. I would like to click here, some sort of interactive.
- [20:55]
My God, my agents are going to have a field day with that.
- [20:57]
Have fun. I would like 10% of everything you sell. No, I'm kidding.
- [21:00]
Yeah, absolutely.
- [21:02]
Another theme is friendship. And it's like, when you're going, like, with Lola, she's going through all of this excitement and lust, and she's so wrapped up in herself, even the hard parts, that often her best friend Ryan gets. You know, she doesn't even think about him. But it's not because she doesn't care about her friends. She's very caring. It's just there is almost no room. And then of course, she feels horribly guilty about it and all of that. And I feel like, you know, especially when you're going through hard times, there is that tendency to feel like everyone else will just be there, but you have to tend to those relationships too.
- [21:37]
I think she's also like, a little selfish. Like, I wanted to make her, like I said, flawed. And she is a bad friend. Like, she is a little self centered and, you know, it's up to the reader to decide whether that's her personality or that's kind of a bad, you know, circumstance of her job where she just kind of takes things for, you know, Ryan falls into the cracks on that one. But like, I think she, she's little. It's like part of her journey is realizing like, oh, like it's not all about me. And another thing that I wanted to make, you know, a detail is like, Lola doesn't really have that many girlfriends. And I like that that we get glimmers of that at the end. She doesn't have like a huge circle of, of, of trusted, you know, girlfriends, which is something that I think is really important. And so I think that her summer is also about realizing like she, you know, being vulnerable with people and being them, for being there for them in return is a beautiful thing and something that can actually really help you grow and figure out who you are. So, yeah, she's like a little bit of a shitty friend, but I think she's by the end kind of figuring out what she needs to do to be a better one.
- [22:47]
Oh, I feel like deep down she is a good friend. There's stuff just gotten away. I have a lot of hope for her.
- [22:52]
Yeah.
- [22:54]
So meanwhile, you've developed Tink's world. It's like you have your whole universe and it's amazing. And the way you even talked in this conversation about your followers with such respect. You're all a team, right? Your community, your platform. Tell me a little bit about that and, and how you grew that so well and so organically. I mean, you're, it's. Yeah, tell me more about that.
- [23:17]
I have nothing but respect for my community. I think I'm very lucky with the people that follow me. I always say the people who follow me are girls who want the best for themselves and the best for the world. And they're a very conscientious bunch. They are really hardworking, they are smart, they want to be smarter. And I think that I feel a duty to deliver great work to them, whether that's the podcast, whether it's a book, whether it's an Instagram story. Like, I really try to add value to their lives because I see them following me as an investment. Like, I see when they follow me, that's them, like, you know, putting their faith in me. So it's up to me to deliver. And that's kind of how I've always thought about it, is I need to deliver. This is my job. And I want to make them feel happy and seen and engaged every single day. So that's kind of how I think about, you know, feeding the community and being there for them.
- [24:24]
Well, I've been following you for years, and I was just wondering. My husband showed me one of your rich mom videos, like in the beginning of COVID or something. So I've been following you since then and, like, laughing and watching your rise. And it's been very exciting from the sidelines, so very cool. But is there anything. You seem like you put it all out there. Are there parts of you that you have, like, off limits? Like, I've said to myself, I'm not posting myself in my pajamas. That is my limit.
- [24:51]
Yeah, I sadly post in my pajamas all the time. I do have things. I think I've drawn that boundary now. I've definitely share less and less in my personal life just because, like, I don't really talk about my dating life unless it's like a small little funny story, just because I feel like it was too confusing for me. I am a natural storyteller, and when I was at a point where I was sharing everything about who I was dating. I mean, this sounds psychopathic, but I would. I could. The line was so blurred between the story I was telling and how I was feeling, and I couldn't separate them. And if you are creating content based off of your own personal life every single day, you can't find the line. And that scared me because I was like, I felt like I was feeling things so that I could make the story a certain way. And that's really dangerous and weird and scary. And so I just kind of decided that dating is like something that I'm going to do by myself. I share the funny stories or, like the one off dates, the mishaps. But when I'm dating someone seriously, it's mainly just private.
- [25:58]
Awesome. And where do you want to take this whole thing? Do you have, like, a grand vision? Are you just rolling with it? Is there a goal out there that You're. I mean, I know this adaptation was a goal of yours for a long time and that's so exciting.
- [26:11]
I really just try to follow my curiosity. I feel like now more than ever, I don't know exactly what I'm going to do in the future, but I know who I am and I know what makes me happy. I love creating work. Like, I love creative projects. I have no interest in like being a manager or being managed. Like, I like this life of creative projects. I'm so lucky that I get to do it. And like I said, I don't really know what's in the future, but I know that I'm super excited about the TV adaptation. I'm super excited about writing. So I think. And I, and I love my radio show, I love my podcast. So I think if I get to keep doing this, you know, a year and a half ago I didn't know that this would be my next project, but I just, I always like, follow my curiosity. Like, I just like had this random idea for this potter in the Hamptons and I just like called my agents and I was. Because I was actually writing the proposal for a different book, another non fiction book about like living on the Internet. And like I had finished the proposal and it was like, good, but I just like had this imagination thing and I was like, wait, I want to do this right now. And so I think just following my creativity and my curiosity, I, if I get to keep doing that, I'll be so happy.
- [27:28]
Which was the, what was the germ of the idea that you were like, I have to write this?
- [27:32]
I just was like, it kind of. All the things that I was talking about came together and it was honestly a lot of my rich mom content, not even the big full starter packs, but I would write on Instagram, like these detailed, more detailed, like snarky, like funny stories. I would just post an outfit and it would be like a random backstory. Except when I wake up, I free write. And it's always, like, about a woman, like in a cool life, like usually in New York. And people would always say, I want to know the rest of her story, I want to know the rest of her story. And I was like, wait a second, like, let me combine all these things and like, that's it. And that sounds so fun. Also the other thing is like, I always try to create what I want to consume. So when I was like reading all those books, I was like, what do I like, what would my version, what would my ideal version of this be? I Think about that with content. I'm going to think about that with the TV adaptation. Like, what do I want to see? And let's make it that. Because I've always found that to be a great way to create authentic work. People are like, throw that around, that word all the time. Oh, what's authentic? Like, how can you be real? The most real thing to do is to create what you want to see, because then you're not thinking about, oh, well, other people, like, what do they want? How can I adjust it to make it more marketable or whatever. Create what you want to see. That's the most authentic thing you can do.
- [28:47]
So true. That's excellent advice. And how involved do you get to be in the adaptation? Like, are you going to write it? Like, what's. What's the whole thing? And they'll write it.
- [28:56]
I'm an executive producer. Don't fully know what that means because it's my first rodeo, but I do know it's a big deal. And I do know. I mean, we already had our first meeting, and they are so receptive to my ideas, which is so amazing and why I wanted to work with them so badly. So I am just really excited to dig in and learn a lot. It's my first time, and I love. I don't mind being the dumbest person in the room. Like, I want to learn. Like, this is an incredible opportunity for me to, you know, learn a lot on a project that I'm obviously super invested in. And hopefully it's the first of many.
- [29:30]
What do you think? Like, the you who was writing down the Gossip Girl outfits would think of the you sitting here today?
- [29:37]
I just. She wouldn't believe it. I really. I was thinking that this morning or last night, too, because I was, you know, interviewing Chelsea Handler for her new book, and I just don't think that she would have believed it. Like, I wanted this life so badly. Like, I wanted to write about fashion. I wanted to go to cool parties. I wanted to create ideas. I wanted to inspire women. And I just never saw the path. Like, I was just like, I don't know how I'm going to do that. And I just think she would be very thrilled and happy. So I. I feel lucky every single day. I really do.
- [30:11]
Well, it's been so wonderful to watch all of your success, and the book was so great and so immersive. I said this on Instagram, but my kids were around. I just kept having to close it.
- [30:21]
Because they can't look at that word.
- [30:24]
I'm pretty sure you know what that means, but let's not talk about it.
- [30:28]
Oh my gosh. Well, thank you for reading and for this. This was so wonderful and this was a nice start to the press that I'm doing for the book. It was great to talk to, you know, someone who loves to read as much as I do.
- [30:41]
Thank you. Well, I loved it and I'm looking forward to now shopping in your shop.
- [30:44]
So thank you. Yeah, thank you for the great idea. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you.
- [30:50]
Thanks so much.
- [30:50]
Christina Najjar
Okay, bye.
- [30:51]
Tinks
Bye.
- [30:52]
Zibby Owens
Thank you for listening to Totally Booked with Zibby formerly Moms don't have Time to Read Books. If you loved the show, tell a friend, leave a review. Follow me on Instagram ibbeowens and Spread the word.
- [31:05]
Christina Najjar
Thanks so much.
- [31:06]
Zibby Owens
Oh, and buy the books.
- [31:14]
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