Valerie Gilpeer and Emily Grodin, I HAVE BEEN BURIED UNDER YEARS OF DUST: A Memoir of Autism and Hope

Summary

Totally Booked with Zibby
Episode: Valerie Gilpeer and Emily Grodin, I HAVE BEEN BURIED UNDER YEARS OF DUST: A Memoir of Autism and Hope
Air Date: August 22, 2025
Host: Zibby Owens
Guests: Valerie Gilpeer & Emily Grodin

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Episode Overview

In this powerful and heartfelt episode, Zibby Owens sits down with mother-daughter co-authors Valerie Gilpeer and Emily Grodin to discuss their memoir, I Have Been Buried Under Years of Dust: A Memoir of Autism and Hope. The conversation explores Emily's extraordinary breakthrough as a minimally speaking person with autism who found her voice at age 25—shifting the lives of both Emily and her family. Together, the trio digs into the realities of living with autism, the importance of communication technology, the power of persistence and hope, and how sharing their story has impacted them and inspired others.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Emily’s Communication Breakthrough

[05:15] Valerie Gilpeer:

• Emily had endured 25 years of speech and various therapies with little success in spoken communication.
• The pivotal moment came after a difficult experience during a trip to Ireland. Upon returning home during a meltdown, Emily sat down and typed her first fully expressive sentence:

  "I have been buried under years of dust, and now I have so much to say." – Valerie Gilpeer relaying Emily’s words [06:17]

• This marked the beginning of Emily’s ability to communicate through typing, transforming not just her own life, but her family's as well.
• Valerie highlights the almost “magical” aspect of the breakthrough, referencing the trip’s missed opportunity to kiss the Blarney Stone and instead, Emily kissing the castle—a symbolic act they came to cherish.

2. The Memoir & Its Purpose

[08:26] Emily Grodin (voiceover):

• Emily describes the memoir as a very personal account spanning her family’s journey in a world unfit for autistic individuals, focusing on resilience, trial and error, and the universal search for acceptance and communication.

  "The memoir is about me and my parents journey navigating autism in a world that was not built for autistic people. It is about resilience. It's about trial and error. The book is very personal as it is filled with our experiences spanning my entire life, the good and the bad. And yet I think it is an incredibly familiar story to so many." – Emily Grodin [08:26]

• Emily’s poetry is included to give readers intimate glimpses into her sensory experiences, social struggles, and life as a minimally speaking person.

3. Impact of Technology on Connection

[09:15] Zibby Owens | [09:38] Valerie Gilpeer:

• Zibby marvels at the power of communication technology to unlock the inner world of someone previously unable to speak fully.
• Valerie reflects on how being able to truly know her daughter changed everything for their family:

  "Knowing what she wants—what a person wants in their inner thoughts and feelings—is a whole new experience..." – Valerie Gilpeer [10:21]

• Valerie and Zibby agree that communication technology gives families and individuals not just new opportunities, but entirely new relationships.

4. Creativity, Potential, and Individuality

[14:25] Zibby Owens | [14:53] Emily Grodin:

• Zibby asks if all autistic people might be similarly capable if given the right tools.

  "I think everyone is creative. They just need the proper tools and an extra lending hand to get to where they want to be." – Emily Grodin [14:53]

• Valerie agrees that while everyone’s level of talent will differ, communication is the key to unlocking individual gifts and full participation in life.

5. Life After the Breakthrough and Book

[15:54] Zibby Owens | [15:59] Valerie Gilpeer | [16:34] Emily Grodin:

• Both Valerie and Emily detail the ways Emily’s life—and their family dynamic—transformed after she could communicate:
  • Emily is now a university senior, a lead in a film project, part of a community of others who communicate by typing, and a talented poet and writer.
  • Inspiration from their story gives hope to other families to "never give up and fight for their loved ones, just like my mom did for me." – Emily Grodin [16:34]
• Valerie expresses immense gratitude for finally being able to know her daughter deeply, and how persistent advocacy and hope led to a “miraculous” change in all their lives.

6. Practical Advice for Families and Educators

[18:47] Zibby Owens | [19:07] Valerie Gilpeer:

• When asked how others can help autistic individuals find similar breakthroughs, Valerie recommends:
  • Seeking out experienced providers in alternative communication methods (e.g., Darlene Hansen in LA, S2C/Speech to Communicate in Virginia, SOMA’s Rapid Prompt method in Texas).
  • Googling “alternative forms of communication” or joining online groups for resources and support.
  • Recognizing that not every individual’s journey will be identical, but that experimentation, patience, collaboration, and not giving up are essential.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Emily’s Breakthrough Statement:

  "I have been buried under years of dust, and now I have so much to say." – relayed by Valerie Gilpeer [06:17]

• On Universal Creativity:

  "I think everyone is creative. They just need the proper tools and an extra lending hand to get to where they want to be." – Emily Grodin [14:53]

• On Joy of True Connection:

  "Knowing what she wants—what a person wants in their inner thoughts and feelings—is a whole new experience... In our community, this opportunity that comes with communication for the first time changes everyone's life." – Valerie Gilpeer [10:21]

• Family Gratitude:

  "She's had such a level of gratitude for everything that we've done for her and so happy, you know, to be in the place that she's in. And she lets us know that all the time." – Valerie Gilpeer [16:53]

• Encouragement to Listeners:

  "If someone is listening and they have someone they love who is autistic... how do they get access to this technology?... I think people can Google alternative forms of communication and they will come up with all kinds of stuff either on Google or on Facebook." – Valerie Gilpeer [19:07]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 05:15 — Valerie recounts Emily’s breakthrough moment and the family’s struggles before it.
• 08:26 — Emily reads her summary of the memoir and its intentions.
• 09:38 — Valerie reflects on the emotional impact of finally knowing her daughter through typed communication.
• 14:53 — Emily offers her perspective on creativity and the necessity of proper support.
• 16:34 — Emily shares what the book’s success and her new opportunities have meant for her.
• 19:07 — Valerie gives practical advice and resources for families seeking communication tools.

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Episode Tone & Style

• The conversation is intimate, honest, hopeful, and punctuated by moments of awe and wonder at what’s possible.
• Valerie is candid and warm, clearly moved by her daughter’s progress.
• Emily’s contributions, whether typed and voiced or direct, are thoughtful, poetic, and modest.
• Zibby’s style is supportive, enthusiastic, and deeply empathetic, asking both practical and philosophical questions.

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Closing Thoughts

This episode captures the transformative power of communication—for individuals and families—and highlights the importance of perseverance, creative problem-solving, and hope for those navigating the world of autism. Valerie and Emily’s story is an inspiration, showing listeners that connection and understanding are always possible, even after decades of silence.

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For those seeking support or guidance, Valerie encourages exploring alternative forms of communication and reading their book, I Have Been Buried Under Years of Dust: A Memoir of Autism and Hope, for both practical advice and inspiration.

Transcript

[Zibby Owens]

Hi listeners, we have totally booked live coming up this fall and I hope you'll be a part of it. We have three events in New York City, September 19th, 25th and 30th in New York where I'll be doing six interviews live each day. We also have a petite retreat in Greenwich on October 4th. Go to zibbemedia.com and event or and or eventbrite and search the events and please come. I can't wait to meet you in person.

[Valerie Guilpier]

Foreign.

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[Emily Grodin]

Okay.

[Valerie Guilpier]

Well, this is so interesting because Emily had had a lifetime of difficulty in communication, and we had basically been tried all kinds of speech therapy and all kinds of things. And we went on a trip to Ireland. And I start there because it's kind of the. Kind of the genesis of the story, I guess, is that we started. We went to Ireland with a group of other individuals, and after we had been on this trip, we were on a plane coming back, and Emily had a meltdown. She has autism, and apparently she was having difficulty on the airplane because there was really nothing for it to engage her. And after months and months and months of working with somebody, we got off this plane after the meltdown. All kinds of trauma on the airplane. Get off, sit down. And Emily sits down and she types out, I have been buried under years of dust, and now I have so much to say. So that was the beginning. Now this is the beginning of the communication that she started that has turned out to have changed her life and to change our lives as well. It, of course, comes after 25 years of speech therapy and intensive therapies of all kinds of. And attempts to engage Emily in all ways that we could possibly do. But this was really. This was really the huge breakthrough. It was magical. It was. And the funny thing is, is that the trip to Ireland, one of the things we wanted to do was we wanted to kiss the Blarney Stone, which, of course, lore has it that you kiss the Blarney stone and you are conferred with the gift of Gabriel. Well, the Blarney Stone was not accessible that day because there are too many tourists there. And it's quite crazy to do it anyway because you have to kind of lean back and people hold their feet. So I said to her, emily, just kiss the castle. Kiss the castle. And I have this great photo of her leaning over and kissing the castle. And that was the magic. That was the magic.

[Zibby Owens]

Oh, my gosh.

[Valerie Guilpier]

So Emily, who seems to be a little tired this morning, she can tell a lot also. She has a lot to say about this breakthrough and what it meant in her life as well.

[Zibby Owens]

Yeah. Tell me about that period of time and what it felt like to be able to connect and communicate in such a new way.

[Valerie Guilpier]

Emmy.

[Zibby Owens]

So Emily is typing, and then it voice translates first.

[Emily Grodin]

Thank you.

[Zibby Owens]

Aww. You're welcome.

[Emily Grodin]

Power having us. I am going to play a little thing I.

[Zibby Owens]

So she said, I'm gonna play a little game.

[Emily Grodin]

To tell you about the first. Thank you for having us. I am Going to play a little something I wrote to tell you about the book.

[Zibby Owens]

Perfect.

[Emily Grodin (Voiceover)]

The memoir is about me and my parents journey navigating autism in a world that was not built for autistic people. It is about resilience. It's about trial and error. The book is very personal as it is filled with our experiences spanning my entire life, the the good and the bad. And yet I think it is an incredibly familiar story to so many. That is really what motivated us to share our own story. We knew that countless others had lived or would someday live similar experiences of autism, communication challenges, and building a meaningful life amidst the circumstances. My poetry was added to the book as a way of offering a glimpse into the intimate details of sensory challenges, social acceptance, and living as a minimally speaking person.

[Zibby Owens]

Wow, Emily, that's beautiful. Thank you. And it's really powerful watching you type your thoughts, getting access to what you're thinking. This amazing technology that enables you to communicate. Valerie, how does it feel? I know you're used to it by now, but here hearing Emily talk about the book in this way.

[Valerie Guilpier]

Well, yeah, it's not just, you know, it's been. The book was published in 2021. And so over the years, initially, you know, my interest in the book was really to share with people the incredible power of communication, essentially, and that one should never give up. I mean, Emily was 25 years old when she started to communicate in this way. And since then, what has happened is that it has opened up avenues for her in her life that. That were unimaginable. I mean, she told us initially she wanted to go to college. We arranged that she started going to community college. She's now at csun. She became this extraordinary poet and writer. So many things changed in her life, and every day Emily writes something else more beautiful. I mean, she has this incredible knack for writing poetry. We just got back from Europe, and today she. She wrote out a beautiful poem about being away and coming back and what's that like to return from foreign lands. And it's just. It's been an amazing. She never ceases to amaze us because every day is a new day of revelations. Every day is a new day where we learn something more about her, more about who she is, what she wants and what she wants from life, which was previously really unknown to us. We had no way of really knowing except for the basics of, yes, I want. Maybe want a cookie, or I want this or that, or basic needs, I would say. And so what changed for us was getting to know who our daughter is, you know, really being introduced to her at 25. I know that sounds odd because we were so intimately involved with everything about her, everything about her life and providing the best life we could for her. But knowing what she wants, what a person wants in their inner thoughts and feelings is a whole new experience which I think is hard for people to understand except for the community that we live in. In our community, this opportunity that comes with communication for the first time changes everyone's life. And we want people to know about this technology and about the ability to do this because we want other people to have this joy to experience for themselves and to get to know their children.

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[Zibby Owens]

So, Emily and Valerie, do you think that all autistic individuals have this same capacity for creativity and thought and everything and. And it's a function of communication mostly. And with the correct technology, the not knowing people is going to be soon a thing of the past. What do you think?

[Valerie Guilpier]

What do you think, Emmy?

[Emily Grodin]

I think everyone is creative. They just need the proper tools and an extra lending hand to get to where they want to be.

[Zibby Owens]

So true. So, so true.

[Valerie Guilpier]

Yeah, I think that Emily's particular level of creativity is maybe not where everyone will be, but I certainly think that the communication tool to enhance the level of communication that people have is what we think that this methodology can assist with. Incredibly, in my opinion, you know, everybody's got their own talent, if you will, and the level of talent varies from person to person. But I. Communication is just so important. I mean, how I changed her life in friendships and in education and access to the world. I mean, it's still a challenge because, you know, it's still a challenge. It's still a world that doesn't completely accept this methodology, but still it's making inroads. That's wonderful.

[Zibby Owens]

And how has the book changed both of your lives or has it?

[Valerie Guilpier]

Well, it has. I mean, absolutely. I mean, it has introduced Emily. There's so many things that Emily is now able to do. I mean, she's now a senior at a four year university. She's a lead in a movie that's being written by another individual who is on the spectrum. She has these incredible friendships with people who are also typers. It's just enhanced her life in ways that we never would have expected. And it's really, really opened her world completely. What do you think, sweetie?

[Emily Grodin]

It has definitely opened so many doors. And it is always nice to hear that my story has inspired other families to never give up and fight for their loved ones, just like my mom did for me.

[Zibby Owens]

So nice, Valerie. That must feel so good. It does.

[Valerie Guilpier]

I mean, you know, Emily's level, level of gratitude that's been expressed has been remarkable. You know, you always wonder what your child would say about you if they could talk or what they would say to their psychiatrist about you. But she's had such a level of gratitude for everything that we've done for her and so happy, you know, to be in the place that she's in. And she lets us know that all the time. And it's really good. It's nice to know that the hard work paid off for all of us, you know, because it's been a lot of hard work. I mean, Emily was diagnosed when she was 2. Years and years of speech therapy didn't get us where we needed to be. And then we had this. She had this breakthrough. So it's been life changing. And for us, I talk about what it's done for Emily, but also it's made our lives so much more, so much richer because we know who she is. And we can talk to Emily and feel like we can get a response. And she's honest about it. And she's a remarkable observer of life. She's perceptive. She understands people. She understands us. She knows when we're upset. She knows how to comfort us. There's just. It's a whole range of things which have happened as a result of this level of communication. So it's been very exciting. It's like we all have a new life together. So we've just been having a great time since 20, since this all happened. It was 2016 that it happened. So it's now been nine years. So, you know, we just continued to really bask in these incredible benefits that have. That have come our way very miraculously. Miraculously in some ways. And in some ways, you have to say it really is the function of the payoff of a lot of hard work, but not. But not giving up, which I think is the key here, is that, you know, keeping at it and keeping on it and finding ways to best help. As Emmy says, your loved one, I think, is really the key.

[Zibby Owens]

So if someone is listening and they have someone they love who is autistic or they are an educator for those with autism or just want to help, how do they get access to this technology? What can they do that you did? How can this be replicated?

[Valerie Guilpier]

Well, I don't know. I think the thing is you need to find a provider who is good. Let me say, I don't know if it could be replicated. I think that there are different methods of communication that utilize the technology. There's, you know, here, locally, you know, Darlene Hansen in Los Angeles area, was the person who we connected with, somebody I knew professionally and then later personally with Emily. She's a speech therapist who is very much an advocate for alternative forms of communication, which is really what this is. There's a place in Virginia, I think it's called, it's in Virginia called speech to communicate. S2C. S2C I think is what it's called. And then there's also another methodology that has been utilized that is the SOMA method. She's in Texas and she does something called rapid prompt. So there's different people and there's different ways. Some parents have come up with their own ways of simply sitting with her children and using the computers technology. One of Emily's good friends started typing just because her mom sat with her and started working with her and not being afraid. Now sometimes for some individuals there's some motor issues that are involved with being able to actually touch the keys. But for those who don't have the motor issues involved with it, there's different ways out there. I just would, I think people can Google alternative forms of communication and they will, they will come up with all kinds of stuff either on Google or on Facebook.

[Zibby Owens]

There's all kinds of groups and of course they have to read your book. I have been buried under years of dust. Valerie. Emily, this has been so inspiring. The book was absolutely beautiful. Your poems at the end are absolutely beautiful. And I'm inspired. I mean you are, I'm sure, inspiring countless people and your dedication to creativity and how simple it is. Just, you know, everyone's creative and you just need the right tools and a helping hand. I mean, that's it right there. Thank you so much.

[Valerie Guilpier]

Thank you Zibby.

[Zibby Owens]

Thank you, Emily. Thank you for listening to Totally Booked with Zibby formerly Moms don't have Time to read Books. If you loved the show, tell a friend, leave a review, follow me on Instagram, ibbyowens and spread the word. Thanks so much. Oh, and buy the books.

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