Podcast
Totally Unexpected!
Hosted by Chavie Bruk · EN
Join Chavie as she discovers the one totally unexpected moment in her guests’ lives that changed everything. These are real stories about pain, joy, and struggle, the moments that make us human. Chavie is obsessed with personal growth and doesn't shy away from the hard conversations. She covers topics like Jewish astrology, parenting taboos, health and wellness, adoption, race, and sexuality inside the Orthodox Jewish community and beyond.
Chavie Bruk is a mother of five adopted children and the co-director of Chabad Lubavitch of Montana together with her husband, Rabbi Chaim Bruk. On Totally Unexpected! Chavie doesn't just interview her guests, she sits with them for long, unfiltered conversations where they laugh, cry, and share the stories that shaped who they have become. Chavie also writes a weekly essay on Substack about the unexpected moments in her life, the one's happening in real time that are challenging her, stretching her, and helping her grow. Sign up for free here: www.TotallyUnexpected.blog.
10episodes
Episodes
Newest firstAll episodes
Paola Feher: From Yoga to Ayurveda - A Guide to Breath, Body, & Self
3d ago02:10:03Tap to summarizeChavie and Paola open by reminiscing about how they first connected when Paola walked into Chabad of Bozeman for a Passover seder 18 years ago and instantly felt at home. Paola talks about her childhood as a first generation American, the daughter of two physicists, a Holocaust survivor father who fled to Israel before eventually founding the physics department at UCSD, and what it was like growing up in a home where intellect was everything. Paola shares how she struggled with depression as a teenager and found her way through nature and eventually yoga, which became the spirituality she hadn't known she was looking for. Chavie asks Paola to go deep on what yoga actually is beyond the physical poses, and they talk about breath, what it means to really be in your body, and Chavie opens up about her own struggles connecting to her breath. Paola then walks through three defining moments of grief and loss in her life and how each one eventually led her to Ayurveda, which has now become a central part of how she works with clients. Chavie asks Paola to use her as a live case study, and Paola maps out Chavie's Ayurvedic constitution right there in the episode. Paola Feher holds a Master’s in Biomechanics and a Master’s in Ayurveda. She is a massage therapist and yoga therapist who started her own practice in 1997, working with chronic pain, injury rehabilitation, and injury prevention. When she is not working, Paola loves to be outside. She has an extensive garden where she grows her own fruits and vegetables in the summer and preserves them for the winter. She also loves ice climbing, skiing, mountain biking, hiking, climbing peaks, swimming, running, and practicing yoga. She shares her life with two kitties, her partner, and close friends and family she adores. This Week's Prompt Did You Ever Experience Burnout and What Did That Feel Like? This is a NEW segment at the end of every episode featuring voice notes from listeners with their HOT TAKES on a given prompt! Referenced On the Pod 37:11 T. K. V. Desikachar 1:59:52 Hunt Gather Parent by Michaeleen Doucleff Stay in touch with Paola! www.bozemanhealingarts.com Stay in touch with Chavie! @chaviebruk on Instagram www.totallyunexpected.blog Totally Unexpected! on Youtube Want to sponsor or dedicate an episode? Reach out to Chavie on Instagram or by email at chaviebruk@gmail.com.
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Aimee Baron: I Was Supposed To Have a Baby
2w ago02:43:04Tap to summarizeAimee opens up to Chavie about her childhood in Lakewood, where her Holocaust survivor grandparents had a chicken farm. She shares how she became religious and didn’t go to prom because it was on a Friday night. Aimee talks about her path through medicine, and the fertility journey that changed her life: four miscarriages in a row and the miracle twins who were born after. Aimee shares how she founded I Was Supposed To Have A Baby and explains why success isn’t always about having a baby. Aimee and Chavie talk about burnout, what happens when holding everyone else’s pain catches up with you, and how sometimes the work is learning to live with what is unfinished. Aimee Baron, MD, FAAP, is the founder and executive director of I Was Supposed to Have a Baby (IWSTHAB), an organization transforming how the Jewish community cares for people navigating fertility struggles and loss. After years of secondary infertility and multiple pregnancy losses, Dr. Baron became deeply aware of the need for better emotional, communal, and practical support for those trying to build a family. IWSTHAB provides mental health support, educational resources, digital programming, communal spaces, and connections to wider support networks for people experiencing infertility, miscarriage, stillbirth, infant loss, termination for medical reasons, donor conception, adoption, surrogacy, and more. Dr. Baron is passionate about creating community where people in pain feel validated, comforted, and held, and where those around them know how to show up with care. She previously served as Director of Innovation and Growth at NechamaComfort and worked as an attending pediatrician in the newborn nursery and neonatal intensive care unit at St. Luke’s-Roosevelt Hospital. She lives in the New York area with her husband and children. This Week's Prompt Are You a Home Birth Mama or Only In the Hospital Mama? This is a NEW segment at the end of every episode featuring voice notes from listeners with their HOT TAKES on a given prompt! Referenced On the Pod 20:58 NCSY 32:53 Chabad of Binghamton 32:57 Rivkah Slonim Interview on Totally Unexpected! 36:35 Chabad of Harvard - Rabbi Hirschy & Elkie Zarchi 38:35 Chabad at Syracuse - Rabbi Yaakov & Chanie Rapoport 1:20:17 Nechama Comfort - Reva Judas, Founder & Director 1:24:15 ATIME 1:24:15 Bonei Olam 1:24:15 PUAH 1:24:15 Knafayim 2:27:14 Ina May's Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin 2:28:09 Aura Rosenblatt interview on Totally Unexpected! Stay in touch with Aimee! www.iwassupposedtohaveababy.org IWSTHAB Resource Library & Support Groups @iwassupposedtohaveababy on Instagram Talking Away The Taboo Podcast LinkedIn Stay in touch with Chavie! @chaviebruk on Instagram www.totallyunexpected.blog Totally Unexpected! on Youtube Want to sponsor or dedicate an episode? Reach out to Chavie on Instagram or by email at chaviebruk@gmail.com.
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Dassi Zar: In Between Selves - The Act of Rebirthing
May 401:59:15Tap to summarizeChavie sits down with Dassi, who starts out by sharing how she was born in Iran in the middle of the Iran-Iraq war, where her mother delivered her by emergency C-section during a blackout. Dassi talks about her family's escape from Iran, her grandparents being smuggled out through the Baluchi mountains, and how her parents left behind everything they had built to start over in America with nothing. Dassi shares what it was like growing up as a Persian Jew in New Jersey, caught between two cultures, never fully belonging to either, and how that sense of not fitting in eventually led her on a spiritual quest exploring Kabbalah and Chassidus.Chavie asks about Dassi's years working as a doula and hypnobirthing educator before she was even married, attending hundreds of births and co-founding the Boston Doula Circle, and what it was like to witness so much life coming into the world before navigating her own fertility journey. Dassi opens up about six years of infertility, the pregnancy with her second daughter, and how that collided with the unraveling of her marriage. Chavie and Dassi talk about IFS therapy, energy work, and learning how to heal by listening to the body. Dassi Zar is a mom of two, the founder of The Resilient Minded Mom, and an IFS-informed coach who helps women navigate life with clarity and self-trust. A former Shlucha in Lower Manhattan, as well as a Yoga and Pilates instructor, she brings both depth and lived experience to her work. She is also the owner of The 50FF Wig, a business rooted in confidence and accessibility. Having moved through her own seasons of challenge and growth, Dassi is deeply committed to authenticity, truth-seeking, and ultimately helping women come home to themselves. This Week's Prompt Jewish Books vs Non Jewish Books - Where Do You Draw the Line? This is a NEW segment at the end of every episode featuring voice notes from listeners with their HOT TAKES on a given prompt! Referenced On the Pod 15:46 HIAS Org (Hebrew Immigrant Aid Society) https://hias.org/ 21:10 The Ben Ish Chai https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yosef_Hayyim 37:33 Machon Chana https://www.machonchana.org/ 47:53 Moshe weinbaum ep https://open.spotify.com/episode/02tJfMvr9wlnI5tDfZ49Fc?si=wXFBiu-NTHGo_Q1dZJukqw 1:21:00 IFS: Internal Family Systems https://ifs-institute.com/ 1:26:25 Eckhart Tolle https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eckhart_Tolle Stay in touch with Dassi! @bowerymama on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/bowerymama/ @the50ffwig on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/the50ffwig/ Stay in touch with Chavie! @chaviebruk on Instagram www.totallyunexpected.blog Totally Unexpected! on Youtube Want to sponsor or dedicate an episode? Reach out to Chavie on Instagram or by email at chaviebruk@gmail.com.
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Elin Cohen: Meet Chavie's Book Buddy
Apr 2002:24:15Tap to summarizeChavie sits down with her long-distance book buddy Elin for a special episode where they review their book buddy picks but first, Elin shares what it was like growing up in Sweden, the extreme swings between dark winters and sun-filled summers, the way catching sunlight becomes a cultural priority, and how hygge isn't just a trend there but a way of survival. Elin talks about the meet-cute way she and her husband had at Ascent in Tzfat and how they ended up living and working in Kenya at the height of the HIV crisis. Chavie asks about what parenting looked like while living abroad and moving back and forth between countries. Elin talks about the devastating loss of her brother-in-law and his wife, how her niece became a permanent member of their family, and the foster care advocacy work that she is now involved with. In the second half of this conversation, Chavie and Elin go through their book buddy picks, what they loved and what they didn’t, and how reading the same books and talking about them ends up being a way of getting to know someone more deeply than you normally would. Elin Cohen grew up in Stockholm, Sweden, and lives with her family in San Francisco, California. She holds a JSD (PhD in Law) from Stanford University and works in international economic development, supporting the design and implementation of U.S. government foreign assistance programs. She very much enjoys being at home in beautiful San Francisco with her family and friends, and she also feels fortunate to travel extensively for work, to visit family, and for fun and adventures. Elin is a Court Appointed Special Advocate (CASA) volunteer for youth in foster care and she is also an avid reader. She and Chavie are book buddies and frequently chat about the books they are reading together, as well as the many reflections those books spark in relation to their own lives, experiences and perspectives. This Week's Prompt Bar Mitzvah Culture Is Out of Hand: Yes or No? This is a NEW segment at the end of every episode featuring voice notes from listeners with their HOT TAKES on a given prompt! Referenced On the Pod 30:46 – Ascent Institute 1:09:19 – National CASA Program A full list of Chavie and Elin’s book buddy picks, along with the book podcasts mentioned will be available on www.totallyunexpected.blog. Stay in touch with Elin! @elin.cohen on Instagram Stay in touch with Chavie! @chaviebruk on Instagram www.totallyunexpected.blog Totally Unexpected! on Youtube Want to sponsor or dedicate an episode? Reach out to Chavie on Instagram or by email at chaviebruk@gmail.com.
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SPECIAL EPISODE: A Day In the Life of Chavie Bruk
Apr 500:53:09Tap to summarizeIn this episode, Chavie sits down with her producer, Elie Benhiyoun, to break down what a day in the life of Chavie Bruk looks like. She walks through a recent Friday, from the moment she wakes up already feeling overwhelmed to the moment she gets into bed with a book after the last Shabbos guest leaves. She opens up about her morning routine, and how she has learned over the years to protect the things that keep her going, including exercise, a proper lunch, and therapy, even on the busiest days. Chavie breaks down her post-treadmill protein shake situation, her gluten-free bagel with lox that she somehow managed to sit down for in the middle of cooking for 70 people, and the secret hummus recipe that has become a staple of her Shabbos table. She shares what came up in her therapy session that Friday, tracing her discomfort with pressure and overwhelm back to her childhood as the oldest sibling on Shlichus. She then walks through the hours of cooking for 70 Shabbos guests, the constant interruptions, the mikvah construction happening steps from her house, and how she designs her schedule to avoid coming into Shabbos frazzled. Chavie also talks about what Friday night actually looks like, the women gathering in the kitchen before the meal, the dynamic she and her husband, Rabbi Chaim Bruk, have built at the Shabbos table, and which books she reaches for once the guests are finally gone. This interview was published in written format for a collaboration with Valour Magazine. You can find the full interview in print format here: https://valourlifestyle.co.uk Referenced On the Pod 3:16 Valour Magazine 23:42: Busy In Brooklyn Stay in touch with Chavie! @chaviebruk on Instagram www.totallyunexpected.blog Totally Unexpected! on Youtube Want to sponsor or dedicate an episode? Reach out to Chavie on Instagram or by email at chaviebruk@gmail.com.
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Rivkah Slonim: Chassidic Feminism - Could It Be?
Mar 2302:13:14Tap to summarizeChavie sits down with Rivkah Slonim — author, lecturer, and self-described Chassidic feminist — and walks through her childhood growing up in Crown Heights in close proximity to the Rebbe and Rebbetzin, with grandparents rooted in the illustrious Kapichnitz Chassidic dynasty. Rivkah shares how she came to coin the term "Chassidic feminist" and traces it back to her early years at Chabad of Binghamton, where she was confronted with the widespread assumption that Chassidic women are oppressed, and found herself doing the research to answer questions she had never quite asked before. Chavie brings the hard questions she has collected from her community and her own life about women's place in Jewish law and tradition — including mikvah, taharat hamishpacha, and halacha's relationship with female equality. They then dig into what it means to build a community and raise a family on Shlichus, and whether self-care is a modern invention or just an age-old value with a new name. Rivkah also shares how she came to author her most recent book, Holy Intimacy — which brings the conversation about women's pleasure and Jewish marriage into the open for the first time. Rivkah Slonim is the Associate Director of the Rohr Chabad Center for Jewish Student Life at Binghamton University, which she co-founded with her husband, Rabbi Aaron Slonim, in 1985. A self-described Chassidic feminist, she is an internationally known lecturer and activist. She is the editor of Total Immersion: A Mikvah Anthology (Jason Aronson, 1996; Urim, 2006) and Bread and Fire: Jewish Women Find God in the Everyday, and co-author of Holy Intimacy: The Heart and Soul of Jewish Marriage with Sara Morozow. Slonim serves on the Editorial Board of the Rohr Jewish Learning Institute, sits on the executive boards of Tamim Academy and the Institute of Jewish Spirituality and Society, and is a senior lecturer at Bais Chanah Women International. This Week's Prompt What are your favorite Pesach hacks and tips? This is a NEW segment at the end of every episode featuring voice notes from listeners with their HOT TAKES on a featured topic! Referenced On the Pod 2:06:39 Chavie's blogpost on Substack about her Bubby Links to Rivkah's books: Order Holy Intimacy on Amazon Order Total Immersion on Amazon Order Bread & Fire on Amazon Stay in touch with Chavie! @chaviebruk on Instagram www.totallyunexpected.blog Totally Unexpected! on Youtube This episode is dedicated in honor of my dear mother, Rivky Slonim, who inspires me daily. May she continue to inspire the world in good health for many more years! - Chani Levertov Want to sponsor or dedicate an episode? Reach out to Chavie on Instagram or by email at chaviebruk@gmail.com.
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Chaim Bruk: Our Infertility & Adoption Story
Mar 902:28:36Tap to summarizeChavie sits down with her husband, Rabbi Chaim Bruk, the podcast’s first returning guest, just ahead of their 20th anniversary. For the first time, they walk through their entire infertility and adoption journey from beginning to end. They revisit the moment they received the excruciating diagnosis of permanent infertility and how they charted their own path in a world where infertility and adoption was still taboo, and their decision to go public when the expectation was to keep these struggles hush-hush. They walk through each of the five adoptions and the unique challenges each of them faced: Chaya, their first baby, born a premie in Moscow, Russia; Menny, a Black child born in Maryland; Zeesy, and the discovery of her life-threatening rare metabolic disorder; how Shoshana joined the family as a pre-teen, and Chana Laya, their only child born in Montana, and the unique relationship they still maintain with her birth grandparents. As always, Chavie and Chaim tell their story with their iconic banter, drama, and humor. Rabbi Chaim Bruk is the Co-CEO and spiritual leader of Chabad Lubavitch of Montana. He moved to Montana in 2007 with his wife Chavie, where they launched a renaissance of Jewish life across the state. They are raising their five children in Big Sky Country, where they enjoy nature daily. Chaim loves teaching Torah, writing about Judaism and current events, and has an obsession with kosher sushi. This Week's Prompt Is Falling In Love Overrated? This is a NEW segment at the end of every episode featuring voice notes from listeners with their HOT TAKES on a featured topic! Referenced On the Pod 2:32 Totally Unexpected! on Youtube 3:19 First Interview with Rabbi Chaim Bruk on Totally Unexpected! 17:05 Bonei Olam Financial Assistance for Infertility Treatment 1:57:07 Interview with Shoshana Bruk on Totally Unexpected! Stay in touch with Rabbi Chaim! www.jewishmontana.com www.instagram.com/chabadmontana X @MontanaJew Weekly Torah Class on Youtube Montana's Jewish Voice Stay in touch with Chavie! @chaviebruk on Instagram www.totallyunexpected.blog Totally Unexpected! on Youtube Want to sponsor or dedicate an episode? Reach out to Chavie on Instagram or by email at chaviebruk@gmail.com.
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Anna Sherman: Life After Brain Surgery
Feb 2302:11:56Tap to summarizeChavie and Anna begin with Anna’s roots in Toronto and what drew her toward becoming more religious in high school, navigating the tension between the world she grew up in and the one she was choosing. Anna opens up about her first two marriages and what it felt like to be a young divorced woman in a community where it was taboo and kept hush-hush which leads to Chavie and Anna reflecting on the progress made in removing shame around taboo subjects. Anna then shares how she met and fell in love with her current husband, and Chavie asks how she learned to trust herself again after so much trauma. Anna talks about becoming a therapist, how lived experience shaped her empathy, and then walks through the moment a mass was discovered in her brain. Chavie and Anna go step by step through the days leading up to surgery, the spiritual serenity she felt going in, and the recovery she is still navigating today. Anna Sherman is a Registered Psychotherapist, dedicated wife, mother of twin girls, and stroke survivor who underwent brain surgery. She works with individuals, couples, and families, helping her clients heal from trauma, fears, and emotional blocks. Anna lives in her hometown of Toronto, Canada. This Week's Prompt Are two hour podcasts too long? This is a NEW segment at the end of every episode featuring voice notes from listeners with their HOT TAKES on a featured topic! Referenced On the Pod 38:20 The Jeff Seidel Foundation 41:39 Yeshivas Bircas Hatorah Therapy Modalities Chavie & Anna Reference: EFT: Emotionally Focused Therapy EMDR: Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing IFS: Internal Family Systems Stay in touch with Anna! www.annashermanrp.com Anna on Instagram Stay in touch with Chavie! @chaviebruk on Instagram www.totallyunexpected.blog Want to sponsor or dedicate an episode? Reach out to Chavie on Instagram or by email at chaviebruk@gmail.com.
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Mushky Yiftach Hashem: Becoming the Duct Tape Queen
Feb 902:32:08Tap to summarizeChavie starts off by diving into Mushky’s early relationship with creativity. She talks about her mother noticing her artistic tendencies and her love of crafts being nurtured by her grandfather. Mushky shares how she came back from seminary and rediscovered the pull toward crafts, including when she realized if you can make something out of duct tape, you can make anything. Mushky explains how designing and wearing duct tape outfits became a form of safety, giving her structure and permission to perform and show up on camera. Mushky shares about her major lifequake moment, losing her job, having to leave Los Angeles, and the healing journey that followed. Chavie and Mushky talk about anger and how it rises as a sign of misalignment, and they also dive into podcasting and The Sisters Chat. Chavie talks about the different roles podcasts can play, and how she feels her role is to hold long-form conversations and resist the urge for quick content. Mushky aka the Duct Tape Lady is the founder of On a Roll Crafts, an Instagram content creator, and the creative force behind beloved clay and tambourine kits used by Shluchos and Jewish organizations across the U.S. and beyond. A longtime educator turned craft creator and co-host of The Sisters Chat podcast, Mushky blends chinuch, creativity, and performance to make Yiddishkeit hands-on, joyful, and totally unexpected. This Week's Prompt Do kids get to choose their own values or do parents always decide? This is a NEW segment at the end of every episode featuring voice notes from listeners with their hot takes on a featured topic! Referenced On the Pod 44:40min Kathy Heller’s podcast, Everything Is Energy 47:45 Camp Crate 49:17 Mushky on Tovido 49:21 Mushky’s YouTube channel 49:22 Mushky on Kosher.com 50:03 Michelle Moses 1:34:16 The Sister’s Chat podcast 2:18:31 Sara Miriam Smith on Totally Unexpected! Stay in touch with Mushky! Mushky on Instagram Aloomacrafts.com The Sister's Chat Mushky's YouTube channel Info@onarollcrafts.com Stay in touch with Chavie! @chaviebruk on Instagram www.totallyunexpected.blog Want to sponsor or dedicate an episode? Reach out to Chavie on Instagram or by email at chaviebruk@gmail.com.
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Yocheved Shapiro: A Parent’s Guide to School Advocacy
Jan 2602:27:17Tap to summarizeYocheved shares her background growing up in a loud, opinionated family as the quieter sibling sandwiched between strong personalities, and how her parents’ journey as baalei teshuva (people who became religious later in life) — including her father returning to school for a master’s in education — shaped her identity as an educator. Chavie and Yocheved compare birth order dynamics, with Chavie as the oldest of nine and Yocheved navigating not knowing where she fit, and how that later informed Yocheved’s certainty about becoming an educational advocate. Yocheved talks openly about struggling in traditional classrooms, loving college and research, and realizing that her strength was learning rather than schooling, which leads into a candid conversation about why so many children struggle in rigid educational systems and where responsibility really lies between schools and parents. The conversation turns personal as Yocheved shares her fertility journey, her decision to be open about shidduchim and PCOS, and what it was like raising children with very different temperaments, including selective mutism and multiple neurodivergent diagnoses. Chavie and Yocheved dig into nature versus nurture, letting go of outcomes in parenting, and how to set measurable goals without lowering expectations. They close by talking about confidence versus self-esteem, avoiding power struggles, trusting your gut as a parent, and how to show up to schools in ways that are effective rather than just emotionally validating. Yocheved Shapiro, M.Ed. is a dedicated educator and advocate with over 20 years of experience in early childhood education. Holding a Master’s in Educational Psychology, she combines professional expertise with personal experience as a parent of three neurodivergent children, championing their success in every aspect of life. She is passionate about guiding and empowering parents and educators in navigating and gaining access to the appropriate resources to best support children. This Week's Prompt How Do You Color Outside the Lines of Societal Expectations In Your Daily Life? This is a NEW segment at the end of every episode featuring voice notes from listeners with their hot takes on our featured topic! Referenced On the Pod 10:39 Totally Unexpected! interview with Chevee Szokovski 48:47 Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs 1:22:32 The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People 1:29:29 Ari Shapiro’s (Yocheved’s son) website 1:29:57 JEM - Jewish Educational Media 2:15:15 Totally Unexpected! interview with Sarah Immerman Stay in touch with Yocheved! WhatsApp: 718-501-2165 yochshap@gmail.com Yocheved on Instagram www.ShapiroEducationalConsulting.com Yocheved's WhatsApp Group Stay in touch with Chavie! @chaviebruk on Instagram www.totallyunexpected.blog Want to sponsor or dedicate an episode? Reach out to Chavie on Instagram or by email at chaviebruk@gmail.com.
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