Host (2:36)

Why bad?

Guest (Dara) (2:37)

I showed up over two hours late. So when I got there, I was for sure he was not going to be there.

Host (2:44)

Oh, you were trying to sabotage it?

Guest (Dara) (2:46)

I think so. I think so.

Host (2:48)

But he was waiting.

Guest (Dara) (2:48)

So when I got there, he was there. And I was like, oh, damn, now.

Host (2:52)

I have to do the damn date.

Guest (Dara) (2:54)

I was like, I have to do this. But then I felt like crap. I was like, oh, I've had this man waiting literally over two hours. And he was just sitting there. And I said, hey, you know, I'm so sorry. And he gave me his name. He was handsome. Like, she said he was, you know, a stocky guy. Stocky or kind of more than I usually date, but nice guy. And he was like, listen, I understand how busy you are. And I was like, oh, here he goes. So that's how we met.

Host (3:20)

How long does the relationship last?

Guest (Dara) (3:22)

It lasted maybe a little under two years.

Host (3:25)

So when did you start to see red flags that were concerning?

Guest (Dara) (3:29)

Probably honestly, maybe three months in. His schedule was a little different. He worked overnights. He was a blue collar guy. So, you know, talk about flexibility. He was flexible on his days off, right. Because he worked overnights in a blue collar type job. So I was at his condo in Jersey hanging out. Out. He would give me a car. Okay. He had. He gave me a car so that, hey, when you. When you're free, you just come. You don't have to worry about getting on the trains and buses and all of that. I came home to his house one day and I'm. I don't know what I'm doing. I'm on the laptop and I hear like a. What is doing. Is that my work phone? And I'm looking. Nothing. And then it goes dead. I'm like, what is that again? Someone is. What is that? Is that my. Whose phone is that? I'm the only person in the house whose phone is that? And so I'm tracking down the phone, and I open a dry. Open a drawer, Torrey. And in this drawer is. It's a drawer full of Only. How do I see it? I should have learned the language from the Diddy trial. The glides and the. In the. And the lubricants and the prophylactics. A drawer full. And in that drawer is the buzzing. And I pull out, and it's a burner phone. And I'm like, what is the. What is. And I open the phone and it's just messages. Where are you? Messages. Messages. Because it's not the iPhones that we have now. It's that you could see the messages on the phone. Where are you? I miss you. And I try to. And so, because he uses the same lock code. Men do better. Same lock code. I was. Do, do, do, do. Open it up. Just messages after messages. I love you. I miss you. Where are you? And then I start digging because I'm a journalist, but then I'm a woman, and I'm like, what the what if? What? What? And I'm seeing full conversations. I'm seeing date nights. I'm seeing all of this on the phone. Now he's an idiot. Because now we know. I know he left the burner phone that day by mistake. Oh. Not knowing that I was coming in. Not one woman, not two women, not three women. Seven different women.

Host (5:52)

He's seeing seven women while he's seeing you.

Guest (Dara) (5:57)

Correct. Seven different women. And I'm like, a couple names I recognized because you know how women can do. So I'm like, oh, she really. Oh, she's really been up in this house. We've really gone out to dinner with her. But seven women.

Host (6:13)

Wait, some of the women you went out to dinner with him and her.

Guest (Dara) (6:19)

We hung out. She had been around they couple of them. Yeah. Come by the house, go have drinks, Stop by. Yes. So he had childhood friends. He was like, oh, you got to meet my childhood friends. You have to meet everyone. Because me and you, we're going to. This is going to be a. We had talked about marriage. Our families had spent Thanksgiving together before the buzzing. We were looking to buy a house. We had narrowed it down to a house and by the gw, because I got to be at work. I have to go into the city. And another one for a little bit further out, near his son because he had a son in a prior relationship. We were looking, like, so close to like, we need to do these renovations. Let's get the paperwork done. Okay. The day that I found the buzzing and my days might be. But what I remember is that weekend coming up. We were going to the house to do the paperwork on the new house.

Host (7:12)

We were that close. That close to buying a house together.

Guest (Dara) (7:17)

Moving me to New Jersey. Oh, my God. Can you believe that?

Host (7:21)

Oh, my God.

Guest (Dara) (7:22)

I didn't cry.

Host (7:24)

Really?

Guest (Dara) (7:24)

No, I didn't.

Host (7:26)

Were you in shock?

Guest (Dara) (7:27)

I was in shock. I was in shock at what I didn't know about him. I was in shock that he was. That this was the man that I was shocked.

Host (7:38)

There's a whole life happening.

Guest (Dara) (7:40)

A whole life review. And remember, he's on that weird schedule. He works overnights. Blue collar guy overnights from, like. I don't know what overnights? I can't remember. It was like 10 to 5 or something. Ridiculous overnights. So how are you doing this? And you're at work all the time overnight. Well, I started with the girl at the top. Hey, sis. No, from the burner phone.

Host (8:04)

So when she thinks it's him and it's you and it's Me.

Guest (Dara) (8:09)

But she doesn't even say hello. She says, like, hey, babe, or, oh, my God, you called back, or did you get my baby? And I said, yeah, I did get the message, but it's me.

Host (8:20)

What did you say to her?

Guest (Dara) (8:21)

To the. Now remember, there's seven.

Host (8:23)

Yeah. What did you say?

Guest (Dara) (8:24)

I went through.

Host (8:24)

What did you say to. What did you say?

Guest (Dara) (8:26)

And she said, oh, what are you doing with this phone? I said, the phone in our house. I picked it up. So she tried to get snappy. I said, so what we're not going to do is do that. We're not going to get snappy. You're not going to try and ask me what I'm doing with my man's phone and why I'm calling? I said, because I'm not about to do that hood rat crap. I'm trying to figure out what the situation is. That's all I want to know. I said, and by the way, I'm just starting with you because it's not just you. And then she was. Because I guess she thought she was the top side piece, if that's the thing. So she said, oh, well, we've been. She. She. Then she calmed down. Because if you just talk. She calmed down. Then she just told me everything. Everything. And this is the one who was the childhood friend who had met me. And she started off by saying, I'm so sorry. You are so nice. I liked you when I met you. And I wondered why he brought you around because he knew what we were doing and it was so weird. And I had just seen him the day before he brought you around. And I said, wow. She said, do you want to get together and talk? I said, sure. She was like, you can meet me over. I said, I remember where you live. She was like, do you need a car? I said, no, I have the truck. The truck he gave me. She was like, right. Oh, he gave you that truck. I said, yeah, I got that. She said, I wonder where that truck was. He always picks me up in the sports car. He said that the truck was in the shop. I said, yeah, the shop in New York City. At my apartment, girl number one went, sat on a bench in New Jersey, talked, gave me all the info. She said, you're really calm. And I was like, because what are you going to do? I said, I found out now. I said, I don't have the ring. We did. We're. We're not doing some of the things. I said, what. What do you. What do you. I said, and it's not Just you. It's the fact that it's. I said, so now I'm a little disgusted, and I'm really now trying to figure out how this happened. Let her go. She was like, so do you know about the such and such one?

Host (10:21)

She introduced you to somebody you didn't know beyond the seven. So this is number eight now.

Guest (Dara) (10:25)

So she said. Because he and I got into it about her, so I guess she's on the. I guess she's on the list. And I was. I literally had to pull up the burner phone and say, wait, what's her name? Oh, I don't have her. He said, oh. She said, oh, you know her. She's the one with the kid in the. And she said, and I always thought it was his kid. And I said, okay, so we're not. We're not. I'm not gonna get messy. I just want the information. Told me about her. So I had to write her. Literally got a pen out of my bag and had to write down that woman's name. She's like, I know where she lives. I said, we're not. I'm not going over people's houses.

Host (10:58)

So then you called number two.

Guest (Dara) (11:00)

Then I called number two. Similar story. Number three hung up on me and was like, don't ever call back. Okay, Number three, I might as well say it now, ended up blowing that phone up, trying to get back to him, thinking eventually he was gonna have the phone back. Girl, I ain't giving him back this ph. What are you. You hung up on me when I tried to talk, but you keep calling all night. He's never getting his phone back. Most of these women, I will say, only had the burner number. They didn't have his, like, legit number. Which is why when I opened up the prophylactic drawer, it was just, bzzz. Called number four.

Host (11:39)

She was receptive.

Guest (Dara) (11:40)

She was receptive, and she did not want to meet. She was like, oh, I can't meet you. I just can't. I can't believe this is even happening. And I said, but you knew about me. Everyone knew about me. She was like, yeah, but I thought you lived out of the country.

Host (11:53)

So he was telling all the girls about you?

Guest (Dara) (11:57)

Yeah. Yes. Everyone knew.

Host (12:00)

So did you call 5, 6, 7, and 8?

Guest (Dara) (12:02)

I called 5, 6, and 7. 8 is the one that I think pushed me over the top.

Host (12:10)

Wait, what happened with 5, 6, and 7?

Guest (Dara) (12:11)

5, 6, and 7. So 4 didn't talk to me. 5 didn't want to meet. 6, and 7. 7 never answered the phone. I think some. I think someone had called her because a couple of them knew each other. So I'm like, he's just running through the neighbor. And then I just felt disgusted. And then number eight was the one I had written down that the first girl told me about.

Host (12:31)

Yeah, yeah.

Guest (Dara) (12:33)

And she had his real number because she had texted him before I could get to her. She knew. So. I'm calling from the burner. She's not picking up. I'm calling from the burner. She's not picking up. You find Vecna. We end this once and for all.

Host (12:50)

Together on November 26th.

Guest (Dara) (12:53)

We have a plan. It's a bit insane. Everyone in. He knows where we are. Watch out.

Host (12:59)

Get ready for one last adventure.

Guest (Dara) (13:03)

We stay true to ourselves. Stay true to our friends. No matter the cost.

Host (13:10)

Found you.

Guest (Dara) (13:12)

Stranger Things the final season begins November 26th.

Host (13:16)

Only on Netflix.

Guest (Dara) (13:20)

Ford BlueCruise hands free. Highway driving takes the work out of being behind the wheel, allowing you to relax and reconnect while also staying in control. Enjoy the drive in Bluecruise enabled vehicles like the F150 Explorer and Mustang Mach E. Available feature on equipped vehicles terms apply. Does not replace safe driving. See Ford.com BlueCruise for more details. So then finally I get her eventually and I go see her.

Host (13:52)

How'd you get her?

Guest (Dara) (13:53)

I sent a text, and she did not know that the text was me. I said, hey, trying to call. Pick up. She picked up and then it was me. She started crying immediately. Let me tell you something. This woman barely spoke English. She kept saying, my son, but my son, but my son, but my son, my son. And I said, I'm not understanding you. She's crying. She's crying. I said, we need to meet. I said, let's figure this out. We met in a parking lot in a store in middle New Jersey because she lived a little further away. And she proceeded to tell me in spanglish, broken English that he was paying her rent, he was taking care of the kid, he helped her get a job. At the time, the kid was like 5, 6.

Host (14:51)

Okay.

Guest (Dara) (14:52)

I asked her if this was his kid. She started crying. She did not confirm nor deny. She just said she didn't want any problems. She wanted to stay in America, and she was in love with him. When I pulled up into the empty parking lot of this department store in New Jersey, she immediately bust out in tears. She said, the truck. I've not seen the truck. Your truck? I said, it's my truck. She said, I used to see the Truck. I never seen. Yay. She's like, you're real. She was like. So I knew she was going to tell him because I've not. This has been going on for days. This didn't happen in all one day. Torre. These eight women.

Host (15:30)

Wait, wait, wait. You spent three days, multiple days talking to me. Multiple women. These eight women. Did you not see him during this time?

Guest (Dara) (15:41)

So I went back home, back to New York. I mean, back to the city, back home, just across the bridge. He came back. He didn't really know. And then I think by day two or three, he. The word got back after number eight.

Host (15:53)

Yeah.

Guest (Dara) (15:54)

Because she immediately called. She was immediately calling him, like, what's going on? And so that's when he was like, what's happening? Calling me. I was in New York City in my place, not picking up the phone. He's blowing me up, blowing me up, blowing me up. So finally he says, what's going on? We have to meet. Took some time. And I was like, okay. And when I met him, Torre, he was just a little boy, just balled up in tears, Just bawling, just like someone had died. I said, hey, yeah, we need to talk. He was like, I think we need to talk. I said, yeah, we'll talk Sunday. You know, that's family day. That was the day we're supposed to sign the papers. So we get out to the house with the inspector. He was like, where have you been? That's what happened. I take him. He's like, where have you been? What's going on? He knew that the number eight had called, but I had not said anything yet. So he's kind of playing it like, what's going on? He was blowing me up. Blowing me up, blowing me up. Are you coming to Jersey?

Host (17:00)

So he knows that you know, but he's not telling you? Because I know that he knows. And you know, but you're not telling him that you know. Correct. So you both know, but you're both pretending to not know. Like, does he know? Does she know? Does he know? Yeah, but you know he knows.

Guest (Dara) (17:19)

I know because I know. Number eight, she can't live with. She had to call him. And I don't know what she said, but I know that she. He said she told him something about his meeting. So. So he was calling me during the week. I couldn't. I couldn't get there. And then he said, Sunday. So we got out to the house, all the way, and I'm driving the truck because I still have the truck. He drove his fancy sports Car. And we get out to the house, and it's like. It's like maybe she didn't say anything to him because he's just like, oh, this is what we're going to do. And then up here we can put your office. And then the papers came. And I was like, go ahead. He said. I said, you do you think I'm signing this paperwork to buy a house with you? And I started naming them. I said, so that they can all come through. And I said, and what are you going to do about number eight and her son? I said, so are you going to. You going to build a room for them for when I'm gone? Is that. And you know, the white man was there with the papers, and he was like, I think I should step out. And I said, no, he's going to. He's going to sign those, right? Because we did the bank, the monies, the. Remember, the inspector. You're signing this, right? You're getting this house, right? Because I'm not. But maybe. And then again, that name, maybe one of them, but especially number eight with the kid, the kid, your kid, her kid. Kid, in addition to your other kid. He was frozen, embarrassed, clearly, eyes and just was like, and I'm going to get into the truck that he gave me and driving. Don't go. And he's running after me. Don't go. You can't leave. We have to talk. He was like, she was for real. You really did call her? She didn't even say we met. I said, called, called. We sat down and talked. I said, and not just her. And then I named the ones I said. He was just like, well, they're all lying. Everyone's a lie. I went back to get some other things and to give him his vehicle back and his keys. And I was checking, just making sure I had everything. And I was checking email. And we had a joint. We had like. I knew his email password because we were. I mean, you're talking to family. We're arranging things. So that's how, you know it's a real relationship. And there's an email that comes across that says informed delivery. You know how they can say you missed a delivery or sorry we missed you for delivery? And I was like, huh? I was like, I didn't order any Amazon or anything or FedEx, did I? And I opened up the email and it has our house at the condo address, but a different floor. And I was like, oh, they sent it to the wrong floor. And I was like, oh, I know her. Let me Go. Let me go see if I. If I got a package or something, right? And so I opened and I said, but let me call first and make sure, because it's his name, same address, but wrong floor. So. So I call and I say, hey, sorry, I just wanted to. What was the package? Because I'm trying to understand if we missed it or if you missed delivered. And they said, oh, no. And are you Mrs. And I said, uh huh, Yep, yep. Name, credit card, all the information. And they said, oh no, it was delivered to floor whatever. And I was like, huh? And they said, yeah, you ordered the bassinet, right? And I said, let me just look at the order number as my mouth is dropped. And I said, looks like it's a bassinet now. Let us know. There's a warranty in that. A lot of people have a hard time putting that together. So it did arrive. And I said, it looks like it. Let me just double check. I'll call back. If not. I said, by the way, can you just. I just want to. When was this ordered? And I got all the details. Oh, that was ordered. Looks like it was ordered. I was, you know, it was a late delivery. Yeah, it's been. That was about maybe a month ago. She. Whatever it was, it was like three, four weeks of a month. Four to six weeks. She said, sorry for the late, but this is a very popular one, but it's really safe for the babies. And I was like, thank you so much. Huh. So I went to go up to where this bassinet was delivered. And I was like, but that's weird because that's the girl in the building that we know and that we. I see every time when I'm parking the truck. She was like, oh, you got my space. And I'm like, oh, I got your space. How are you? Good. Groceries. Need help? Yeah. Hey, girl, how you doing? Love your hair. Love those shoes. How you doing? It's hot outside. Her. That's her apartment, huh? I mean, I could walk up the stairs. It's one flight. She'd live right above us.

Host (21:48)

Number nine, with child.

Guest (Dara) (21:51)

His new child not yet delivered.

Host (21:56)

So he had a baby on you?

Guest (Dara) (21:59)

Had a baby on me. And she was the neighbor. Nice sister girl who we would help each other with Whole Foods. The groceries in your building? In the building. Because I guess if he couldn't get to number one, number two, number three, number four, number five, number six, number seven, number eight, he could just run upstairs real quick when he found out she was pregnant and she burst into tears I said, why is everybody crying? What is the deal? Cause I have not shed one goddamn tear. But everybody around me is crying over this man. Or when I show up. They cry at the car. They cry when they hear me, they cry when they see me. She just burst out into tears. So then I said, congratulations. She said, he didn't tell you crying? You want to come in? I said, no, I don't need to come in. I think I got enough. I said, but you got the bassinet. She said, yeah, he was here trying to put it together, but then he said that you were calling and you. He had to go. I said, oh. I said, you need to make sure he fixes that bassinet. Had a child. This episode is brought to you by McAfee swimsuit passport phone with VPN activated VPN cell phone service is going to be spotty on vacation, so we'll be using public Wi Fi. Sounds sketchy. Exactly. The networks can leave your personal info, like credit card numbers exposed to hackers. McAfee's secure VPN lets you browse and bank safely from wherever, whenever. Learn more@mcafee.com online protection. Extra value meals are back. That means 10 tender, juicy McNuggets and.

Host (23:44)

Medium fries and a drink are just dol.

Guest (Dara) (23:48)

Only at McDonald's for a limited time only.

Host (23:50)

Prices and participation may vary.

Guest (Dara) (23:52)

Prices may be higher in Hawaii, Alaska and California. And for delivery, he eventually came to the city, tracked me down because, you know. You know, we do the things we block, you know, get out of here. I left my apartment for a while to go stay with my friend. I was like, I don't want him showing up at my crib. Let me go to my boy's house in Chelsea. He didn't know that. Found me, found me. Don't know how found me. Showed up at my man's, my boy, my homeboy's crib in Chelsea. And he was there. He was like, yo, you can't be coming around. It just started to get, like, ugly and, like, I don't do ugly. I don't do drunk. I don't do this. Get your. Get in your fancy sports car and go back to Jersey. Go like, this is not happening. Nothing's. This is over. I didn't curse you out. I didn't talk bad about you to the women. I didn't tell your mother. I'm about to, because now your family's blowing me up. Hey, what's going on? What's going on? Hey. Do you really want to know? I said, so do you want me to tell them or are you going to tell them? Don't tell my mother. I was like, she needs to know she's got another grandchild coming. And she might have to, but that's your business. Don't come around me anymore. That didn't stop him. He continued to try, you know, called my mom, his mom called my mom. I mean, this is how. Yes. My mother was like, say, hey, so listen, I really appreciate you. I liked you all the times at Thanksgiving and I thought our kids were going to be together, but my daughter's not settling for that. So go ahead, handle your son. Talk to your son. Thank you so much for calling. There'll be no repair things happening here, so don't call me because that's not the advice I'm giving my daughter. So it got like that. I said, how in the world.

Host (25:34)

What was the final conversation between the two of you?

Guest (Dara) (25:38)

The final conversation was, just hear me out. Just hear me out.

Host (25:47)

Can't say I love women.

Guest (Dara) (25:52)

Who can blame. Can we go to counseling? I said. I said, I'm not going to sit here and just listen to you lie. I said, you've been lying. I still have the phone. I said, I have the phone. He said, do you want me to bring. I said, we did a third part. I will sit and talk to you with a third party. Found a counselor sat there, told. He told his story. We were trying to communicate. And the counselor was like, I just. I'm not understanding your point of view, sir. I'm trying to understand what. What's happening here. And that pissed him off. And he was like, are you just on her side? And he was like, no, I'm really trying to understand what it is you want her to do. It wasn't just an affair. It was nine different. And potential babies.

Host (26:42)

It's half of the tri state area.

Guest (Dara) (26:44)

It's half of the tri state. I mean. And you're asking her to do what exactly? Let's be clear.

Host (26:49)

There's apps whose ratio is fucked up because he was taking up nine women's attention at the same time.

Guest (Dara) (26:57)

Right? So counseling. One session. He stormed out of that session. And I said, see, this isn't.

Host (27:03)

Why did he storm out?

Guest (Dara) (27:04)

Because he felt like he was being ganged up on. He was like, he's not listening to me. I need someone that listens to me. I said, he is listening. He doesn't understand. Just like I don't understand.

Host (27:12)

The problem is not that he doesn't hear you. It's that he does hear you.

Guest (Dara) (27:16)

You're saying he's not listening. You haven't even told him about the baby. The therapist is like, there's a child involved. And I said, not his child. Prior to our relationship, not the child he's taking care of with the. With the immigrant that doesn't speak English, but the child from upstairs, from our neighbor. That child. Are you going to tell the story or do you want me to tell it? That was the last time.

Host (27:42)

But he tried to get you back after counseling, correct?

Guest (Dara) (27:46)

He wanted to get married. I know you've. We had talked about it. We were going to get the house eventually. We were going to be together. Would you. I want you to marry me. And I just.

Host (27:57)

He proposed to you?

Guest (Dara) (27:58)

He said he didn't have a ring. He said he was going to look at rings. He had been looking at rings. He told me, I've been looking at rings. I went in, I want to marry you. And I just was like, hello? Hello? What? What? Hello? What number are you calling? Did you had a baby?

Host (28:17)

You got a breakup story you want to share? Hit me up on Instagram or TikTok or foray show or email. Why did they breakup at gmail Com? If you love this conversation, hit the like button. Leave a comment and subscribe to this channel and you'll get more. Why did they break up? Episodes every week.