Podcast Summary: Translating ADHD

Episode: ADHD, Humility, and the Journey Beyond Shame and Perfectionism

Hosts: Asher Collins ("Ash") and Dusty Chipura
Release Date: November 24, 2025

Main Theme

In this episode, Ash and Dusty dive deeply into the concept of humility for adults with ADHD. They explore how humility acts as a vital counterbalance to shame and perfectionism, two common struggles in the ADHD community. Through personal experiences, coaching anecdotes, and practical examples, the hosts discuss how embracing humility can foster self-acceptance, accountability, better relationships, and more authentic living with ADHD.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Defining Humility and Its Relevance with ADHD

• Dusty shares her evolving understanding of humility as a core strength, especially within the ADHD community:
  “One of the things that I struggled with as a coach early on was that one of the strengths was like humility. And I was like, what? How is humility a strength? ...Where's the line between being humble and having humility and being self deprecating or not having good enough self worth? ...But as I've coached over the years, I've come to see humility as a really important strength, especially in resolving and bypassing shame and helping to work through failures.” (03:00)

• Humility is positioned as the antidote to both self-deprecation and deflecting accountability, instead offering a path to honest self-reflection and repair:
  “Humility can be a really powerful ally that runs parallel to shame, and is like a better conduit for making amends, making repairs, and for fixing issues than shame.” (03:30)

2. Humility in Coaching and Self-Management

• Dusty describes humility as foundational to her coaching philosophy and vital for cognitive flexibility:

  • As a coach: “I’m not the expert and I’m not better than them and I don’t know everything.”
  • For clients: “If we can sort of tap into humility, we can almost introduce a little bit of cognitive flexibility and willingness to try things.” (04:08–05:33)

• Humility as a third path between justification and shame:

  • First path: Making excuses (e.g., “It’s not my fault, I have ADHD”).
  • Second path: Going to shame (“I’m a piece of crap”).
  • Third path: Practicing humility—owning mistakes honestly without self-condemnation:
    “Being humble and just saying wow, that wasn’t my intention and I’ve really got something to think about here.” (06:33)

3. Modeling Humility for Clients (07:47–09:13)

• Ash emphasizes modeling humility as a coach, showing that it's possible to own mistakes and move forward without shame:
  “If I make a mistake, if I drop a ball, ...I own that, and I own it with honesty. But I don’t own it from a place of shame, because I want to model that for my clients.” (07:57)

4. Humility as a Tool Against Imposter Syndrome and Rejection Sensitivity

a) Imposter Syndrome (09:36–16:00)

• Dusty draws a parallel to musician Henry Rollins as an example of humility in the face of achievement:
  “He’s so humble. He’s just happy to be in the room…he’ll geek out about some music he’s found and to him, if the musician is good ...they’re like above him. ...I can just be happy to be in the room. I can be curious.” (11:00)

• Practical benefit:
  “When we come from that place of enthusiasm, of humility, of curiosity about others, and we take the need for ego out of it ...it feels like a soothing balm on my soul because I’m incredibly insecure about everything all the time. ...When I remember to go outwards ...I wonder what they have to teach me... it completely rids me of ego insecurity, imposter syndrome...” (12:58)

b) Rejection Sensitivity (18:51–24:50)

• Dusty describes how rejection sensitivity can trap people in self-focused narratives and catastrophic thinking:

  • “When we’re feeling rejection sensitive, we have this way of, like, making everything about us.”
  • Uses a questioning method with clients to help them realize they extend grace to others—even when they’re imperfect—so why not to themselves, too?
    “If you have the capacity to love someone who’s not perfect, let’s assume that your friends are like that too.” (22:15)

• Humility as a way to break out of these cycles, make space for others’ experiences, and avoid the all-or-nothing self-condemnation trap.

5. Humility, Perfectionism, and Boundaries

• Ash points out that perfectionism is part ego and part learned reaction to repeated negative experiences:
  “Everyone else doesn’t have to be perfect except for me…Why do you think you’re so much better than everyone else? …You’re not special – you’re just like everyone else. You are also worthy of love if you’re not perfect.” (27:45–28:40)

• Both hosts highlight the need to understand one’s ADHD in order to advocate appropriately and avoid falling into shame or self-beratement.

6. Humility Facilitating Growth and Learning

• Dusty reframes humility as a route to learning from failure rather than being paralyzed by it:
  “With humility, we can make failure our friend. ...Failure doesn’t mean anything about me. ...I’m going to have it, and it doesn’t mean anything about me. And ...lo and behold, we can actually learn from failure.” (30:55)

• Ash ties in “journey thinking,” focusing on process and growth over outcomes:
  “Detaching from outcome and instead just ...being where you are and not ...so attached to what happens...” (31:35)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “I’ve come to see humility as a really important strength, especially in actually like resolving and bypassing shame and helping to work through failures.”
  —Dusty (03:00)

• “I model that there is room for mistakes here. We have ADHD. There is going to be a time where ...something doesn’t go exactly the way we intended it to go, or one of us screws up in some way.”
  —Ash (08:10)

• “Being humble and just saying wow, that wasn’t my intention and I’ve really got something to think about here. ...Is a way to make people feel heard and cared about, but it’s also a way to stay out of, like, well, I guess I’m a piece of crap.”
  —Dusty (06:33)

• “When we come from that place of enthusiasm, of humility, of curiosity about others, and we take the need for ego out of it ...it completely rids me of ego insecurity, imposter syndrome, and I’m just happy to be in the room...”
  —Dusty (12:58)

• “Saying I don’t know is leadership...”
  —Dusty (16:46)

• “We can actually turn that [perfectionism] into a bit of an ego thing and go ...You’re not special. You’re just like everyone else. You are also worthy of love.”
  —Dusty (28:00)

• “Failure doesn’t mean anything about me. Failure is just one possible outcome. ...And then when we can do that, lo and behold, we can actually learn from failure.”
  —Dusty (30:55)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 03:00 — Humility as a strength, not self-deprecation
• 06:33 — Humility as the “third option” between making excuses and self-shame
• 09:36 — Humility combating imposter syndrome (Henry Rollins anecdote)
• 12:58 — Humility, curiosity, and overcoming insecurity
• 18:51 — Humility with rejection sensitivity and relationships
• 24:54 — Humility, the “defensive crouch,” and boundary-setting with ADHD
• 27:45 — Perfectionism, higher standards, and reframing ego
• 30:55 — Humility, failure, and learning (“making failure your friend”)

Overall Tone and Language

Throughout the episode, the hosts are candid, empathetic, and pragmatic, drawing on lived experience, humor, and coaching wisdom. They address difficult emotions around ADHD with warmth, clarity, and actionable insights, encouraging listeners to adopt humility as a means to growth, connection, and self-compassion.