Transcript
A (0:02)
Hi, I'm Ash.
B (0:03)
And I'm Dusty and this is translating ADHD listeners. I'm doing another coffee chat on December 9th at 8:30pm Eastern Time or 5:30pm PST. We had a lot of fun the last time, so hopefully you guys come. I learned a lot. I learned some tips about cat care from the folks who were there. We, we discussed gardening techniques. There was. It was pretty good. It was a good time. So come on over. Also, don't forget, I still have spots for the next round of group coaching, starting in January. Group coaching is a really affordable and sustainable way to get a sense of what ADHD coaching is like and to get some coaching time. With me, it's a small group between six and nine people. It costs $200 a month or it can be sliding scale if you are in need of access. But spots are really limited and it's on Thursdays from 3 to 5pm PST. So just go to adhdstudio, ca or vancouveradhdcoaching.com and send me a message.
A (1:10)
So, Dusty, you want to tell our listeners what we're talking about today?
B (1:14)
Today we're talking about ADHD and humility.
A (1:18)
Ooh, Say more about that. Yeah.
B (1:21)
So when I was getting trained as a coach at adka, we use something called the Via Character Strengths Index, kind of like this like personality test that helps you figure out your strengths. And there's lots of different ones. There's the Gallup Strengths Finder, blah, blah, blah. So this is the one that ADKA uses often because it's free. And one of the things that I struggled with as a coach early on was that one of the strengths was like humility. And I was like, what? How is humility a strength? It's a characteristic. Some people are very humble. But it kind of caught my brain and I was quite curious about how humility could be a strength, especially when, you know, like we talked about in previous episodes around self esteem. So many of us already struggle with feeling not good enough when we're already struggling with self esteem. Where's the line between being humble and having humility and being self deprecating or not having good enough self worth? Right. I think it's kind of a, it's, it's a bit smushy. But as I've coached over the years, I've come to see humility as a really important strength, especially in actually like resolving and bypassing shame and helping to work through failures. Because we talk so much about how like we don't want to focus on failures and how not everything is our fault and we could advocate for ourselves and, and we don't want to get into shame. And, you know, the thing we're not necessarily talking about here is that sometimes with adhd, like, we do absolutely mess up and we do let people down. We make promises that we can't keep, we take impulsive actions. Like, there is real fallout of ADHD symptoms when they're not, you know, properly managed. And sometimes they're not properly managed despite your best efforts. If we could just manage them all the time, perfectly, we wouldn't have adhd. So. So the outcome and the goal of good self management isn't to never screw up and to not have any ADHD symptoms. That's not possible. The goal is to have as minimal symptoms and to have those symptoms have as minimal impact as possible. But the whole thing about ADHD being a disability is that it does still happen. And so whether you're managing your ADHD well or whether you're sort of new to ADHD and you haven't realized that a lot of the things that you do that might impact other people are attributable to adhd. You know, sometimes we do have things that we need to kind of like make up for or manage or manage around that have impacts on other people. And I've come to realize that, like, humility can be a really powerful ally that runs parallel to shame. And is it like a better conduit for making amends, making repairs, and for fixing issues than shame?