Podcast Summary: Translating ADHD

Episode: Building Foundations: Managing Forgetfulness with ADHD
Hosts: Asher Collins and Dusty Chipura
Date: May 12, 2025

Episode Overview

In this episode, Ash and Dusty set aside their planned topic to address an ever-present reality for adults with ADHD: forgetfulness. Both coaches candidly share their own experiences with managing forgetfulness, explore why it’s such a uniquely challenging issue for ADHD brains, and provide detailed approaches for building personalized, foundational support systems. The discussion emphasizes self-compassion, experimentation with tools, and setting realistic expectations for growth.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Forgetfulness as a Central ADHD Challenge

• Ash (00:03): The hosts ironically forgot to prep for their planned episode, so they pivot to forgetfulness—a challenge that "feeds into all of our other challenges" and contributes to a sense of life happening "to you" rather than you happening to life.
• Ash (00:38): If you’re always putting out fires and can’t get on top of things, the first step is becoming aware of what actually requires your attention now or soon.

2. Complex Systems, “All or Nothing” Thinking, and Failure

• Dusty (01:21): Many clients invest significant effort into systems that ultimately don’t work, leading to demoralization and abandonment of the system altogether.
• Ash (01:54): The ADHD tendency is “all or nothing”—when a support system fails, we may discard the whole thing without learning from what worked and what didn’t.

3. The Value of “Duplicative Systems”

• Dusty (03:22): Repetition and redundancy aren't bad; having backup systems is necessary with ADHD.
  • Memorable Quote:

    "Repetition is not your enemy. Repetition is your friend."
    (Dusty, telling Ryder Carroll’s—creator of Bullet Journal—story, 04:35)

• Having multiple reminders or ways to track things is not inefficient; it just reallocates the “cost” of managing ADHD.
• Dusty (05:40): “You pay for it either way. Either you pay for it with forgetting...or you pay with time building systems.”

4. Ash’s Personal Systems for Managing Forgetfulness

• Ash (06:04): Prefers systems that are as simple as possible, but acknowledges life sometimes requires more complexity.
  • Three-Tier System:
    • Calendar: Only for appointments, events, and intentions tied to a specific time and place (not tasks).
    • To-Do List: Catch-all in Google Doc for actionable tasks, transferred to daily/weekly breakdowns (but not on calendar).
    • Weekly Family Planner (on fridge): High-level overview for family logistics and meals, supports both Ash and child.
  • Quote:

    “Not being aware in a useful way...I looked at the thing but I didn’t really process it.” (Ash, 07:31)

• Importance of finding the specific combination and boundaries that work for the individual, not copying others.

5. No “Silver Bullet”—Personalization Is Key

• Ash (10:53): No one-size-fits-all solution exists.
  • Bullet Journal, anti-planners, and digital apps work differently for different people—finding your fit requires experimentation.
  • First attempts ("a first crack at a system") are for learning, not for perfecting.

6. Coaching Clients Through Forgetfulness

• Dusty (13:46): Shares a client story about the Pavlok device (a wristwatch that gives small shocks as reminders), highlighting that even good external tools fail if you forget to maintain or use them.
• Ash (14:41): Coaches must notice when clients forget post-session intentions. Strategies include:
  • Categorize clients as hyper-aware, hypo-aware, and the “vast middle.”
  • Build from existing habits and tools; start small and simple using tools clients already have.
  • Spend session time on "the how" of remembering: e.g., making a specific plan for reminders or prompts.
  • Example: For one client wanting more movement, Ash added an “unattached” question to the daily list: “Is today a movement day?” (17:28)

7. Building Incrementally: “Foundation vs. Facade” Metaphor

• Dusty (20:35): Many clients want dramatic change fast, but sustainable growth comes from incremental steps.

  • Metaphor: Comparing ADHD solutions to building either facades (pretty but unstable) vs. buildings with strong foundations (lasting, though initially invisible).
  • Quote:

    “When you spend a bunch of time laying that foundation...once they get the foundation laid, the building goes up so fast and it lasts.” (Dusty, 21:48)

• Ash (22:49): The foundation phase can feel slow, but “there comes this beautiful moment where the pieces start to come together.”

8. Actionable Guidance

• Start with a small, targeted intention (e.g., a morning routine), and build a system only for that purpose.
• Once the initial system is reliable, add the next—don’t overhaul everything at once.
• If a prompt is working but action isn’t happening, explore if another ADHD challenge (procrastination, avoidance) is the real barrier.

9. Coaching Readiness and Podcast as Resource

• Dusty (28:01): Good ADHD coaching starts by helping clients figure out what they want from coaching, acknowledging many arrive feeling nothing can help.
• Ash (28:53): Clients who regularly listen to the podcast come to coaching more prepared; listening is a way to develop “coaching readiness” on your own terms.
• Support can look different for everyone; adapt the tools and approaches to your life.

Memorable Quotes & Moments

• "Repetition is not your enemy. Repetition is your friend." (Dusty, 04:35, quoting Ryder Carroll)
• "You pay for it either way. Either you pay for it with forgetting...or you pay with time building systems." (Dusty, 05:40)
• "Not being aware in a useful way...I looked at the thing but I didn’t really process it." (Ash, 07:31)
• "A first crack at a system is an opportunity to learn what does and does not work." (Ash, 10:53)
• "We're not just lowering your expectation...We're laying a foundation. And that takes time, but once that foundation is laid, baby, that building is going to go up so fast." (Dusty, 21:48)
• "If you pick a really well-defined outcome, then it gets a lot easier to troubleshoot what's not working along the way." (Ash, 27:42)
• "It’s probably going to take you more than a week to master any concept related to ADHD. I'm sorry." (Dusty, 30:46)
• "Your ADHD wants an answer now, but this is a process that happens over time." (Ash, 30:52)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [00:03] – Opening: Forgetfulness as both topic and meta-joke
• [01:54] – “All or nothing” system-building and emotional impact
• [03:22] – The necessity and wisdom of duplicative systems; Ryder Carroll story
• [06:04] – Ash details own three-tier system, emphasizes personalization
• [10:53] – No universal tool; first tries are for learning
• [13:46] – The Pavlok example; client struggles to use reminders
• [14:41] – Coaching strategies for forgetful clients; prompts, simplicity, and real-world fit
• [20:35] – “Foundation vs. Facade” metaphor for sustainable change
• [22:49] – Laying the foundation: patience and process
• [27:42] – How to build on early wins, and when to troubleshoot further
• [28:01] – Common worries about ADHD coaching and being helped
• [28:53] – Podcast as a tool for coaching readiness
• [30:46] – Expecting gradual progress, not instant mastery

Takeaways for Listeners

• ADHD-related forgetfulness is persistent and deeply interconnected with other challenges. With practice and experimentation, foundational systems can make a profound difference.
• There’s no shame in using multiple reminders or revising systems—“repetition is your friend.”
• Start small, stay curious, and use the tools you already have before investing in new gadgets or apps.
• Sustainable progress is about laying a strong foundation, even if it feels slow at first.
• Coaching, whether formal or self-directed (with resources like podcasts), starts with understanding your own needs and pace.

For adults with ADHD, progress is a process, not a finish line. The right support system is one that works for you, built incrementally and revised with self-compassion.