Podcast Summary: Translating ADHD

Episode: Small Actions, Real Impact: Navigating Allyship with ADHD

Hosts: Asher Collins and Dusty Chipura
Date: September 29, 2025

Episode Overview

This episode explores the nuanced relationship between ADHD and allyship—how individuals with ADHD can strive to be better allies, the unique challenges they face, and the importance of small, intentional actions over grand gestures. Drawing from personal experiences, the hosts dissect both the pitfalls and the power of allyship, especially in marginalized communities, and address how ADHD-specific traits like justice sensitivity, hyperfocus, and rejection sensitivity intersect with efforts to support others.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Experience of Being "Othered" (00:23–07:44)

• Ash’s Personal Story: After coming out as a transgender man, Ash found that colleagues at a professional conference persistently centered his transness, even when well-intentioned.

  • "It was so strange to have people treat me so differently...It was about people not like approaching me, like, they don't know how to talk to me." (01:40, Ash)
  • Many interactions, even kind ones ("You look great, by the way"), quickly became awkward, with people questioning if their compliments or comments were "okay" (03:31–05:13).
  • Ash shares research: only 44% of American adults personally know someone who is transgender, often making these interactions the only exposure for many people. (05:13)

• Burden of Representation: The pressure to represent one’s entire group (trans, neurodivergent, etc.) is exhausting and isolating.

  • Dusty draws a parallel to post-9/11 pressure on Muslim communities to publicly denounce terrorism and links it to how ADHDers may occasionally feel required to explain their condition. (05:29–07:44, Dusty)

2. ADHD Traits and Allyship: Pitfalls and Opportunities (08:28–17:45)

• Over-Enthusiastic Allies: ADHD traits like all-or-nothing thinking, justice sensitivity, and hyperfocus can lead to "performing" allyship rather than practicing it.

  • "The over enthusiastic ally...who’s eager to prove they know everything...trying to demonstrate, like, I've read up, I've done the research." (09:53, Ash)
  • Sometimes, allies overstep by speaking for marginalized people or centering themselves. (09:53–10:35)

• Rejection Sensitivity & Missteps: When ADHDers make mistakes, rejection sensitivity can cause their emotions to override the needs or experiences of the person harmed.

  • Dusty recounts a coaching situation where a well-meant comment may have driven a client away, triggering deep shame and self-doubt. (11:37–15:53, Dusty)

• Emotional Labor: Marginalized people are often expected to educate others. Ash shares a pivotal learning after George Floyd’s murder—realized it’s one's own responsibility to get educated, rather than leaning on friends or colleagues from marginalized groups. (15:53–17:45)

  • "That is your opportunity to do your own work. Don't lean on marginalized populations to give you the answers... it was up to me to learn what I didn't know." (16:47, Ash)

3. The Role of Personal Work and Perfectionism (17:45–24:00)

• Self-Education is Key: Just as you wouldn’t ask a world-class guitarist for beginner lessons, don’t expect marginalized friends or colleagues to teach you the basics about their experience. (17:45–21:31)

• No Perfect Allyship: Both hosts stress that everyone starts “ignorant,” but through effort (and yes, mistakes), we grow. (21:31–24:00)

  • "There is no perfect allyship. We all started out somewhere... it's my job and my responsibility to not be unwilling to have those conversations with other people." (19:47, Dusty)

• Pick Your Battles: Ash advises discernment—focus your energy on potential change or within your circles, not on deeply entrenched bigots. (21:31–24:00)

  • "There is no sense in trying to talk to somebody whose views are not going to be changed. That is really just an exercise in futility." (21:31, Ash)

4. Matching Intention with Action: The Power of Small Steps (24:00–32:46)

• Feeling Overwhelmed: ADHDers, with high empathy and justice sensitivity, can feel a heavy burden to "do it all," which is impossible and leads to guilt. (24:00–27:35)

  • "None of us can do something for every marginalized community that exists. That’s just not possible... You are one person." (27:35, Ash)

• Small Actions Matter: Local volunteering, targeted giving, minor acts (e.g., flooding a harmful webform with nonsense to get it taken down) can have real impact.

  • Dusty gives examples of buying eSIMs for Gaza or sending emails to elected officials about environmental issues as accessible ways to help. (31:05–32:46, Dusty)

  • "Even if you can just do one small thing a day, that's so much more than nothing because days are going to pass anyway." (31:46, Dusty)

• Internet Activism: Both hosts agree that most online activism can be an emotional sink and might not deliver change—focus on in-person or tangible steps. (32:46–34:24)

5. Nuanced Allyship and Meeting People as People (34:24–44:15)

• Performative vs. Genuine Allyship: Even “performative” acts like routine pronoun checks or land acknowledgments have value—they help normalize accessibility. The key is clarity of intention—don't act for external validation, but for genuine inclusion. (34:24–38:51)

  • "Even if we know that...it's still good because it's practicing normalizing, you know, decentering cisgenderness." (34:54, Dusty)

• Respecting Individual Preference: Let marginalized people lead about how much to share about their identity. Don’t force them to be spokespeople for their group.

  • "If you've met one trans person, you've met one trans person...Being a good ally might look like not bringing up trans issues...every five minutes." (36:57–38:51, Dusty)

• Simply Meeting People as People:

  • "The experience that I would like to have at the CHAD conference this year is just that. Just meet me as a colleague and an ADHD coach first." (38:51, Ash)

• Practical Sensitivity: Do your homework—know about accessibility without making it a spectacle. Example: Quietly ensuring food is halal at events, or that venues are safe and inclusive.

  • Touching story of Ash's friend who preemptively ensured a safe and welcoming venue, sharing his preparations only when Ash brought up concerns. (41:31–43:12, Ash)

6. Memorable Quotes & Takeaways

• "Take the opportunity to learn something about those experiences... I realized that I didn't know what I didn't know and it was up to me to learn what I didn't know." (16:47, Ash)
• "There is no perfect allyship. We all started out as ignorant idiots, for lack of a better term." (19:47, Dusty)
• "Even if you can just do one small thing a day, that's so much more than nothing... That something is more than nothing." (31:46, Dusty)
• "Let them lead in terms of how much they want to talk about...center that part of their identity because maybe they're just not in the mood." (36:57, Dusty)
• "Just meet me as a colleague and an ADHD coach first...let me decide whether or not those things are in the room, right?" (38:51–39:24, Ash)
• "As allies, we are expanding our consciousness of what a person with this background, what might not work for them...creating spaces that are more accessible for people who have historically been disincluded." (43:12–44:15, Dusty)

Important Timestamps

• 00:23: Ash's post-transition conference experience
• 03:31: The emotional labor of representing a group
• 09:53: Over-enthusiastic allyship and ADHD
• 11:37: Rejection sensitivity and unintentional harm
• 15:53: Taking ownership for self-education in allyship
• 24:00: Matching intention with action—limitations of one person
• 27:35: Small actions and local impact
• 31:05: Examples of accessible activism
• 34:24: The nuance of "performative" allyship
• 38:51: Meet people as people first
• 41:31: How to provide thoughtful, anticipatory support

Summary Takeaways

• Allies Should Be Self-Directed: Do your own work, educate yourself, and don’t rely on marginalized people to carry the burden.
• Start Small—It Counts: Small, consistent actions have meaningful impact; you don’t have to (and can’t) do it all.
• Allyship Looks Different for Everyone: Let individuals indicate how much they want to share or center their identity. Not all marginalized individuals want to be educators or spokespeople.
• Nuance is Key: Beware both performative and “all or nothing” thinking. Routine inclusive practices add up, even if no one in the room benefits immediately.
• Meet People First: Treat marginalized colleagues as people—colleagues, friends, community members—not as representatives or perpetual educators.

This episode provides a compassionate, self-reflective framework for practicing allyship, emphasizing intention, humility, and small but authentic steps—especially important for ADHDers seeking meaningful, sustainable change.