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Kiana
I'm Kiana. And I leveled up my business with Shopify. Once I figured out that Shopify was a thing, I never turned back. I can create a site with my eyes closed. Shopify thinks ahead of us, you know, and it thinks about the customer more than anything. Every day I'm thinking about some other new business, but Shopify is doing it to me because it's so easy to use. It's like I can't stop. I'm addicted. Start your free trial@shopify.com.
Billy
ethan Hawke has bummed multiple cigarettes from me.
Esther
Very specific.
Billy
I have kissed Lance Bass on the cheek. And I shared an elevator with Sarah Jessica Parker.
Esther
I think Sarah Jessica Parker?
Andrea
Yeah, I think so.
Billy
Why?
Esther
I can't imagine Sarah Jessica Parker, like, being open to sharing an elevator with someone. I think she's gonna wait for the next one.
Billy
Yeah, she's closing the door.
Andrea
I've been saying this for years. No cotton gusset. I'm out. I only wear cotton on my. The most precious part of my body. And now the same rules apply for up top only cotton. And this is why I love Skims Everyday cotton. Shop everyday cotton and all of our favorite bras and underwear@skims.com. after you place your order, be sure to let them know we sent you select podcasts in the survey and be sure to select our show in the drop down menu that follows. You don't have a communal brain.
Esther
I don't.
Andrea
You don't. You don't. I know that about you, but I've also fully accepted it about you because.
Esther
Oh, I know you have. I could tell.
Andrea
Yeah, but. Yeah, you don't have a communal brain.
Esther
Yeah, you do.
Andrea
Yeah, because I'm a sister.
Esther
I'm a sister.
Andrea
I'm a family. I'm a real family member.
Billy
Wait, you're not an only child. I. Yeah, you just behave like one.
Andrea
Yeah, but this communal brain and not communal.
Esther
I have no communal brain. And whenever, like you show your communal brain, I go, oh, yeah, yeah, that's so cool.
Andrea
Like, I like to remember bits and pieces about people, like important things that I know are important to them. And I like to show that you remember around. Yeah. Like, I like to come around full circle and be like, hey, I thought about you and are you a good gifter too? I'm not a. I'm a thoughtful gifter.
Billy
That's like what I can't really do.
Andrea
Okay, so give me an example of.
Billy
Okay, like, let's say it's your birthday,
Andrea
it's my birthday and what, everything, you know, about me so far. What are you gifting, Esther? What are you gifting me?
Billy
This is terrible. Terrifying.
Esther
We have to all do it because I have so. I have got nothing.
Andrea
I have a couple things already in my.
Billy
You already know?
Andrea
Yes.
Billy
I don't know. I'd be like, okay, she's Filipino.
Andrea
Filipino flag. I think she likes me.
Billy
I get you a jersey.
Andrea
I would love that.
Billy
A Filipino, like, flag jersey.
Andrea
Jersey. I love those ones. Those old school ones.
Billy
Good to know.
Unknown Female Speaker
Yeah.
Billy
Okay. See, now I will blank that.
Kiana
Yeah.
Billy
So I just went through this with my friend who turned 40. She has everything. She has great style. She's amazing. She's like, an amazing gifter.
Esther
Yeah. That's the hardest person.
Billy
Yes.
Esther
When they're good at it.
Kiana
Oh, my God.
Billy
It's so much pressure.
Andrea
I think there are people, truly, that are very hard to give.
Kiana
Yeah.
Andrea
Why is it possible to give?
Billy
I kept, like, second guessing. Like, do I not know this bitch? Like, she's one of my best friends. Like, how do I not know exactly what to get?
Andrea
I think it's because you know that there's going to be judgment. Judgment.
Billy
That part.
Andrea
Yeah.
Billy
I think I'm afraid that she's gonna be like, oh, thanks.
Esther
Which is literally how I would react if you got me a gift. I would.
Billy
Why?
Esther
Because I can't hide it if I don't like it.
Billy
Okay.
Esther
So I would ruin you. Okay. I'm trying to think about you. And one thought I had is, like, a vintage T shirt. But then I would second guess, and I wouldn't do it because I'd be like, it's not gonna fit the right way. It's like, it's not gonna work out.
Andrea
If you know me at all, you know that, like, I care so much when someone thinks about me in that way, and they're like, he. Like, this thing, it may not fit you. I will treasure it forever. Like, I'm so thankful for it. Like, even if it doesn't fit me, I'm like, oh, my goodness.
Billy
An angel.
Andrea
Oh, my God, I missed you so.
Esther
I want her.
Andrea
I want her.
Billy
That's it. Looks pink.
Esther
She looks really good today.
Jules
Really?
Andrea
Yeah. Beefing with Andrea over this all the time because every time, because of her hair, she leaves our. Our house with long, beautiful locks. And then Andrea sends me a picture the next day of Pingu completely shaven.
Jules
Oh, my go.
Esther
Pingu looks really, really good today.
Billy
Did you just cut her? No.
Jules
This is like a month of. A month after a month of growing it out. I know. I know. You don't like the shave, but, like.
Billy
Wait, can I show you something? I just shaved my dog. She looks crazy.
Jules
Yeah, I just think it's, like, funny.
Andrea
I know you think it's funny.
Esther
I feel like I'm getting another flavor of donut right now. She's so much like my dog.
Jules
Really?
Esther
Yes. We have to. If you were to get anyone on this panel a gift, what would you get us?
Andrea
Do you think you're a good gifter?
Esther
I doubt it. Read of comedian. I. Selfish.
Billy
Selfish. We're selfish.
Andrea
But, you know, she does have communal brain.
Jules
Yeah.
Andrea
Because she comes over to my place with, like, cookies, and, like, I really do not have. Like, the last time she went on the road, she came back with all these, like, gifts for me.
Esther
You really do accept who I am.
Andrea
Yes.
Esther
I'm really seeing that.
Andrea
Yeah, I do. Yeah.
Esther
Every time, I just. More and more, I see how you really accept me.
Andrea
Be thankful.
Ad Read Voice
Okay.
Billy
Why? Because you don't do any of the stuff she likes.
Esther
I just am not. I am not community.
Andrea
Let's say you're meeting up with a friend to go to Jenna's house, say, for instance, and it's lunchtime. Are you calling her and being like, hey, I'm on the road, like, what can I pick up for you?
Esther
Of course not.
Billy
No. Around lunchtime, and we didn't talk about lunch.
Andrea
You're going to someone's house, though.
Jules
Yeah. Yeah. You'd be like, I'll be like, you want something from this place?
Billy
I would literally never even think about that. I would be. I'm. I'm just trying to get there on time.
Jules
Oh, yeah. Oh, wait.
Billy
Why are you so upset?
Esther
I.
Billy
Wait, so you're. Because your automatic thinking is, she's going to want to eat, I should get
Jules
her something, or, like, I'm here already, so I. If they want something.
Billy
Oh, if you're already getting food.
Andrea
Yeah. Because nothing would piss me off more than someone coming to my place, knowing, and then they bring their own lunch, and they haven't brought me anything.
Kiana
Yeah.
Jules
That's crazy.
Billy
Oh, no. If I'm getting something, I would check in. I wouldn't.
Andrea
Are we sure? There's a little hesitation there.
Esther
Honestly, I'm not sure.
Billy
I'm not.
Esther
I'm not sure if I would.
Billy
I would check in because I wouldn't want to eat in front of you while you're just sitting there going, okay. What?
Andrea
But you are very frugal, right?
Billy
I like to save money.
Esther
So do I. Nothing wrong with that.
Andrea
I, I. Hey, I'm a great saver. Historically, my mom will tell you like the best saver ever.
Esther
I believe that I am shock by
Andrea
some of your behaviors.
Esther
I believe that.
Billy
Yeah. I have been told I am very self absorbed.
Esther
The way you delivered that like it's. They. They told you like you have dense breast tissue. Like it's just a fact. It's nothing.
Andrea
They told you in a pernuvo scan.
Billy
Yeah, it's like a slight scoliosis. I.
Esther
But I have incidental finding self absorption.
Billy
I don't know. I. Do you guys feel selfish?
Esther
Yeah.
Jules
No. No, No, I don't think so.
Billy
You. You're others first. That is very interesting.
Andrea
Yeah, you're. You're. She's not selfish, but don't you think
Esther
she's giving off selfish?
Andrea
No.
Billy
Giving off like she presents.
Esther
Yeah, like you're like kind of quieter you. But that just dark color.
Jules
I feel like quieter is. I'm trying to make sure everyone feels like they've talked and they have space to speak.
Andrea
But as I've gotten to know Andrea more like she has a very like fundamental like morality about her that I really like. There's like principle and.
Esther
Okay, so you're saying me and Peter don't.
Billy
Yeah, we're just trash. We're the trash part of trash Tuesday. You're the Tuesday.
Esther
I think.
Andrea
I think you're like very boundaried, which I very like. Much respect and envy. But you're for sure like me first. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I have family member that's like, that are like that. They're like, they're. I think they're givers and takers in this life.
Esther
Okay, I hear you. This is. I just want to defend. This is the way that I was raised. And it's not good. And I'm working on it. Like, even today I was driving out of my neighborhood, I saw one of my neighbors and we waved and I go, wow, that feels good. That's good. And like. And like 10, five, 10 years ago. Don't look at me. Don't look at me. I really had this like mentally ill mentality of like, don't. Don't have small talk. Don't talk to others. Like. And it's not. It's not good. I learned, I'm learning that I want to show up with brownies.
Billy
Wait, that's mentally ill. That's.
Andrea
That's not.
Billy
Because I feel like I have the same thing. But I thought I was a New Yorker. Like, don't bother me. I won't bother you.
Andrea
I think that's different. The whole like waving to neighbors. Like, I'm not. Like, I'm not particularly, like, warm. Right. Like, out of the gate with neighbors. Like, it. It takes time.
Jules
That's more of a big city person thing.
Billy
Maybe.
Esther
Yeah.
Andrea
I don't. Because the alternative is worse for me. Like a neighbor who's just all up in my shit all the time. I haven't lived with Bobby in four and a half years, and his neighbor still texts me and be like, what's happening in there? Some construction going on?
Esther
That would be me.
Andrea
I got. I'm smelling a little dust. And I'm like, yeah, there's construction. Just, you know, redoing, remodeling a bathroom. But, like, he needs to know that's weird. And I'm like, what's it to you, sir?
Jules
Yeah, we're already in such an intimate setting of living next to each other. Yeah, that's enough. Like, I don't need to be. Oh, let's exchange everything.
Esther
You know, you guys are now being anti community now. You should know what your neighbors are up to. If it's. If you're hearing the noise or you're smelling.
Andrea
I think it's very neighborhood to neighborhood. Where Bobby lived, I had no. Like, I absolutely did not want to engage with anyone. Like, if you saw the next door chat for that particular neighborhood, it was like, I don't want to know these people. I don't want. And then my Altadena neighborhood, the best. We talked every day. I had neighbors who would come across the street and be like, hey, like, your car is parked on the wrong side. Like, you know, and they were the freaking best. Real community.
Billy
I'm in Boyle Heights right now, which is very, like, families. And my neighbor shout out Lydia. She is like in her 70s, 80s, and she just got this giant husky, and she's like, I wish someone would take him on walks.
Host or Moderator
I'm like,
Billy
I'm like that, like Homer Simpson. I don't want to engage. And she keeps passive aggressive. She's like, because I'm like, washing my two dogs, you know, giving them baths, that's like a whole ordeal. It's an afternoon. And she goes, oh, your. Your dogs are getting a bath. My dog could never get a bath because I'm too old. And I'm like, oh, my God. And I never offer because I'm like, that's just gonna be like a chain of events.
Esther
I'm with you. It's the chain of events. It's. It's. If you give a mouse a cookie, yeah, they'll want a glass of Milk.
Billy
They'll take the whole house.
Esther
Yeah.
Billy
I go, oh, that's too bad. I hope he gets washed, you know.
Andrea
Okay, let's talk about liars.
Esther
Okay. Well, we just recently had someone give us a crazy excuse and it felt like too big of a story that it feels like a lie. It made me think, like on one hand, I love a liar. Like, especially on a podcast, it'd be so fun, like, because they're just gonna entertain you. Peter was like, well, are you trying to catch them in the line? I'm like, no. And like, I think the, the scariest thing is to catch a liar and a lie. Like you, you want to just let them be because what, what is catching them? It's like, that's dangerous.
Billy
There's a part of me that's like so justice oriented where I'm like, I need to get this.
Andrea
Like, even if you know there's like a pathology to it, like, you know that it's like created that justice in that moment. Yeah, they're just going to keep.
Billy
Keep doing it.
Esther
Yeah, doing it and attacking you and. Yeah, they don't.
Billy
If they're getting defensive, that's bad.
Esther
Yeah, it'.
Billy
Has anyone been lied to in a really crazy way?
Jules
Yeah, probably.
Andrea
Oh my God.
Jules
I just believe everyone, though.
Billy
Oh, so you haven't like found out yet?
Jules
No, I don't think so.
Esther
I feel like everyone has one big liar in their life and then they like learn about. They're like, oh, that's what it's like to deal with a liar. Like, I dated a big liar and everyone would tell me, this person's lying to you, this person's lying to you. And I would be like, you know, whatever. And then I eventually found out and then it's like, okay, now you kind of know what are the signs and what are the differences between like lies that are inappropriate and maybe the ones that are a little. Okay.
Andrea
Yeah. Because I think that there is. There are levels to the game always. And I do think that in some ways I would rather almost know a good liar, meaning they lie for the right reasons versus a bad truther, which is they only tell the truth to be cruel. Like, there are people who are. Who call themselves like truth tellers when really they out for sport, almost like they have a hard on for hurting. And I'm like, that's no longer just the truth, that's just cruelty. Like there are so many times where it's like a moment doesn't need at
Billy
the absolute truth, the declaration of truth.
Andrea
Sometimes you just let it pass because someone's already hurting.
Billy
This is the exact thing that's going on with Rhode island right now. Do you guys watch Housewives?
Jules
Rhode Island?
Andrea
I haven't started the Rhode island one.
Billy
Okay.
Andrea
Is that the one with Jared and Ashley? No.
Billy
Oh, it is from the Bachelor.
Andrea
Yes.
Billy
Yes. That's the exact situation you were talking about. Like, someone being like, I'm here to, like, tell you the truth while this person's like, it's not about that. Like, I'm hurting.
Esther
And, you know, it's not surprising that that person is on a Real Housewives.
Billy
Yes, exactly.
Andrea
Yeah.
Billy
It's like the whole arc of the latter half of the season is what exactly what you're talking about for me,
Andrea
if you lie about really simple things that. That aren't lie worthy, then you're gonna lie about bigger things.
Esther
100.
Billy
Okay, so you're not into the white lies?
Andrea
It depends. It's like, I'm telling you there's levels.
Billy
There's levels.
Esther
It also depends on my relationship with the person. Some people can lie, and it's like, okay, you're like, so on. You're not in my family. Well, I don't care.
Andrea
Lie.
Esther
Whatever. It's not. Your lies are not my business. Yeah. Knowing that it's a lie or a truth, it doesn't. Like, it's almost too weird. Like, I know that you are all about, like, the justice seeking, but to me, it gets, like, a little strange, like, wanting to prove a lie. Then, I don't know, I feel like you're the kind of the weirdo.
Billy
I am a little weird about that. Yeah.
Esther
I don't know. Andrea, where are you at?
Jules
I don't know, because I guess I just believe everyone.
Esther
You're just still.
Jules
Then I'm like, wait, has anyone lied to me before? I was like, who's lied to me?
Andrea
Oh, God.
Jules
How do you detect a lie?
Billy
Well, when it's, like, so out of pocket, like.
Jules
But when people tell me something, I'm like, oh, wow, that's crazy.
Esther
Well, I think that the reason we are covering this right now is because a person told us, like, this group an excuse that felt like a really crazy lie, and it was a person who already had, like, some lie history,
Andrea
a reputation of life.
Esther
Yeah.
Jules
I've had really weird things happen in my life, and I'm sure a lot of people have where I've had to cancel certain things. And then I'll be like, oh, no, this happened. It feels like I'm lying, but I'm not. You know, there's been instances of that. And so then when other people come up with something crazy, I'm always like, oh, something weird, like, and crazy happened to you. You know? Like, I've never. I've never. Like, this is obviously a lie, but, like, if someone has a history of
Esther
it, then, you know, I actually think that I learned a really hard life lesson about being too suspicious of lies. And I think that's like. Like, why I feel this way, is because when I was in college, this guy that I had a crush on asked me out on a date, and I was like, I couldn't believe it. Like, is this real? Because I was so insecure. Like, I just was. I couldn't believe it. And then, sure enough, day of the date, he texts me. Got into a car accident. I can't, like, come pick you up. Like, my car is not, you know, working. And I'm like, I knew it. Like, I knew that I was just, like, being tricked or messed with. Like, I'm not pretty. Like, why would he ask me on a date? And so I literally texted back. I'm like, you know what? It's all good. Like, we don't have to go on a date. And he was just like, okay. Like, I basically. Like, I basically was like, let's. It's. It's done. You know, close the door. Three hours later, I see on his Facebook, like, an. When we had, like, photo albums of, like, his car getting towed.
Jules
Oh.
Esther
And I'm like, oops. And I feel like there was no going back. Like, it. Or I had already showed, like, a little too craziness.
Andrea
Like, you know, especially because something terrible just happened right to that point. He was having a bad day, and you're like, you know what? It. We're not gonna go on a date.
Jules
Yeah.
Andrea
Instead of being like, hey, do you need help?
Billy
Right.
Andrea
Which could have been a very, like, bonding moment. Like, oh. Like, where are you at?
Jules
And I feel like everyone deals with it differently, but I feel like, to the liar, it's a more. If they were lying and you're more sympathetic, they would feel worse about lying.
Esther
Yeah.
Jules
Yeah.
Esther
And then you're like. Like, extra thirsty for them. You're like, can I help you? Like, that would just be so. I was too insecure to even go there.
Kiana
Yeah.
Esther
But obviously that sounds more appropriate.
Andrea
What a. He's already having such a bad day.
Jules
Yeah.
Billy
Thank you.
Andrea
Feature anything.
Host or Moderator
Yeah.
Billy
I don't even want Cheesecake Factory. I have been practicing lying to spare feelings, which is something that has been hard for me historically.
Esther
Are you Like, Jenna and you can't lie to be nice.
Billy
It's a little hard for me.
Jules
Yeah, it's hard for me too.
Billy
Really?
Jules
It's hard to lie.
Billy
Some of my friends are so good at it. They're like, oh, but your feelings. But because I don't think about people's feelings.
Jules
Oh.
Billy
I don't think about my feelings or anyone's feelings. So, like, it's not like I'm like, oh, me, I'm sad. It's like I'm not. I'm just not thinking about feelings.
Jules
No feelings.
Billy
Zero feelings.
Andrea
Okay.
Billy
Yeah. So, like, I'm practicing trying to think about people's feelings.
Andrea
Are you someone who has to, like, inject your opinion in that moment or could you withhold? Not even lie, but just withhold?
Billy
I'm better at withholding now, but I'm someone who's always like. Because it's always like, it's very self involved. Like, if you're telling me a story about something, I'm going, oh, how do I apply myself into that thing? Because that's how I, like, relate to you. But it comes off as very much like, oh, but this is what I think about it. This is how I feel about it. And the person who's telling, talking to me is like, I don't give a fuck.
Andrea
It's not about you. It's about me.
Billy
It's about me. And I'm like, oh, right. This is not a time for me to be applying myself out loud. Like, I could think about that in my head, but, like, I don't have to, like, say it out loud to you.
Andrea
But I feel like that is such a. A like, great awareness on your part, because I don't. There are many that just never get there where you're like, oh, wait, this isn't about me. They don't understand that concept of this isn't about me.
Jules
Right.
Andrea
Yeah, I, like, ever. Like, they. It's almost like they have no interest in the conversation, period, if they cannot apply themselves.
Billy
Yeah. I think where these people like me are coming from is like, oh, how do I relate?
Esther
Yeah.
Billy
But it's comes off the wrong way.
Andrea
Well, that's what I'm kind of working on too, is like stopping myself from saying me too when someone is telling me, like, a good experience. And even if I've like, let's say, like, oh, my God, I went to Jollibee and I'm. My favorite thing is the sweet spaghetti. And I really want to be like, oh, my God. Yeah, me too. Like, instead, I just it's their moment to tell me about their sweet spaghetti. And I don't need to. To, like, jump in there and say, like, what?
Billy
So what do you say then?
Esther
That's crazy.
Billy
I don't know how to have a conversation.
Host or Moderator
And you go, sweet, what?
Esther
Yeah, spaghetti.
Jules
Because I think that.
Billy
Or like, what's your favorite part about a sweet or spaghetti?
Andrea
Like, doesn't it. Doesn't it annoy you when you tell someone, like, I have been having, like, a lot of joint pain lately, or. And then they're like, oh, my God, me too. And it's like, wait, I'm telling you about my joint pain.
Jules
You know what?
Andrea
Why are you stealing my symptoms?
Jules
I do get annoyed, like, with food. If someone's relating like that they love something that I love as well. I don't get annoyed. But for some reason, if it's, like, pain or specific experiences and they. They go like, yeah, yeah. And like, they act as though they know exactly what I'm going through. That annoys me a little bit.
Andrea
I feel like because I have been through a whole scale of life events that it's hard for someone to be like, hey, this is happening to me that it didn't already happen to me. That's where I'm stopping myself from being like, don't say it happened to you too, Kalila.
Esther
Why? But I find it so comforting when
Andrea
you say stuff because it's not me in that moment. Especially if they're venting. It's not about me. They should have their moment to tell me everything about it without it being my experience. It's their experience.
Billy
Oh, yeah. So I need to fight. Figure out when you're venting and when we're related. Dating.
Andrea
Okay.
Billy
That's my biggest thing.
Host or Moderator
Because I'm like,
Billy
do you want to dispense? I've actually been asking my partner about that. Like, do you want. Do you want me to. Do you want to vent or do you want a solution?
Esther
Yeah, no, that's a real thing. I've had that. I've had friends teach me where, like, I call with a problem. They're like, do you just want to be heard or do you want, like, advice?
Billy
Yes.
Esther
I'm a person where I'm pretty much never going to say no to advice. I always want. Want solutions, help coaching, whatever. Whereas mo. I have learned the hard way. Most people don't want that.
Andrea
A lot of people don't want.
Billy
I don't think I've ever called anyone to vent.
Esther
Yeah.
Billy
Literally ever in my life.
Andrea
Really?
Billy
I find it A burden.
Andrea
Wait, I think it's a burden.
Billy
Yeah.
Andrea
No.
Billy
So I don't do it.
Andrea
Okay. Who are you venting to? Because I feel as though when I receive someone's, like, tough day. It's. I feel like it's an honor because it's like they feel close to me to tell me this, and they think somehow, like, I'm a safe place, and I feel like we're closer.
Billy
Yeah.
Andrea
So, like, who are you venting to?
Billy
I guess to Eric.
Andrea
He feels like a safe place.
Billy
Yeah. Like, if I had a shitty day, I'll, like, say something, but, like, I don't vent to anyone else.
Andrea
Yeah, no, I hear you, but just. Just know that there are people out there.
Billy
You like that when people call you.
Andrea
I love it.
Kiana
Okay.
Esther
That's such a relief to hear.
Jules
Yeah.
Andrea
When you vent to me, like, even this morning when you text me. Texted. And you're like, does this ever go away? I'm like, I can't even text back. I gotta, like, talk to her in person. Oh, no, it's. It's. It's so human. It makes me feel closer to you.
Jules
Yeah, me too. I have that too.
Andrea
Yeah.
Jules
Where it's just like, oh, you're opening up. Yes. Nice. Instead of just being grumpy. Because some people are just grumpy. And then I'm like, oh, what's wrong? And they don't say anything. And then now we have a wall.
Esther
Yeah.
Jules
You know, but then if you tell me what's wrong, then it's like, oh, yeah, that sounds terrible.
Andrea
Yeah.
Esther
Do you give advice?
Jules
Maybe at the end, if there's some empty space, but then during it, I'm like, that's bad. Yeah, that's bad. I hate that person. Yeah.
Andrea
Nothing feels better. And you're like that.
Esther
Yeah. But do you guys ever then as vent, as good recipients of venting? Like, do you ever get in those cycles or those situations where a person will vent the same thing over and over again, day in and day out, and then you start to go, oh, they're never hearing me. Or like, they're. This is just what. You get stuck in a cycle with them.
Andrea
Yeah, I'm. I'm acutely aware when that happens. And I usually tell the person, hey, like, you're telling me the same thing over and over and over again, like, different day, same saga. Like, what's going on? You might.
Esther
If we.
Andrea
If we're close enough.
Esther
Yeah.
Andrea
Right. But usually if it's someone, like, I don't know that well. Go. Go, mama. You want to go Mama.
Jules
She's random. Pick off.
Esther
She's random.
Andrea
I want to pose a. Oh, my God.
Billy
Oh, my God.
Esther
Are you okay?
Jules
It's okay. She doesn't.
Andrea
I want to pose a scenario to you guys.
Billy
Yes.
Andrea
I'm just gonna go ahead and say this isn't someone very close to me,
Esther
but it could be if it's me.
Andrea
If so mad.
Billy
Yeah, please be super.
Andrea
I have a male friend who is in a committed relationship. Previous to this committed relationship, he was hardcore crushing on some girl, and the girl kind of led him on for a long time, but it eventually was like, nah, and kind of like, tossed him to the side. Months later, he finally gets into a committed relationship. The girl who tossed him to the side months ago knows very much that he's now in a committed relationship, but proceeds to text him this. Hey, I'm ready to be in a relationship. So I think that there is a pathology. Second time I've used this this morning around people who want what's already taken. They don't want it when it's not taken, but they want it when it's taken. Yeah, it makes it more forbidden and fun for them.
Billy
Yeah, it's toxic. They want the drama.
Jules
How is this guy receiving?
Andrea
I think that he's like, you know, because he had, like, a. A crush on her before, he's kind of like, oh, like, really? There is still something that excites him about it, but I'm trying to tell him absolutely not.
Billy
This giant red flag.
Andrea
It is the biggest red flag because she does not want a relationship with you. She is just playing a game.
Billy
She's ego driven. She wants to see she could get do this.
Esther
This is my sister's ex. Every time she moves on to a new guy and is like, oh, things are. He comes knocking. Once he feels that he's lost her, he comes back. And then once she goes back to him, he's done with her.
Billy
Like, this is Dakota from Mormon Wives. I hate him. But, yes, they don't. Exactly.
Esther
This is a pathology. This is a sickness. It's ego to me. I go, oh, you just, like, want to know that you can get them.
Andrea
We're in our 30s. Like, we're still playing this game.
Jules
Like.
Andrea
Like, I just don't understand it. Only because, like, we're girls, and I don't think that us girls should be behaving that way out of respect. Not even for the guy, but for the girl in the relationship.
Jules
I know. Yeah.
Andrea
Like what? This game we're still playing, like, we're too old for this I feel like,
Esther
spiritually, that person who, you know, wants to win you back. Like, I don't really believe in spirituality or like, universal stuff, but I do think in this instance, those people can feel when you've moved on.
Jules
Yes.
Esther
Like, the spirits guide them and they know that you've moved on because my dad had a crush. His high school ex, like, like, oh, like father, like daughter just hit me. He, like, had a crush on this girl. They dated. She dumped him, whatever. She got married, she had kids. Years later, he. She calls my dad up and she's like, hey, I'm divorced. Like, what's up? And my. It was literally the day after my dad married my mom.
Billy
Oh, my.
Esther
And my dad, like, to his credit, was super honest with, like, all of us about the story. He's like, like, he was upset. He's like, oh, man. I said to this woman, like, I just got married, like, and what did she say?
Andrea
Did she keep, like, pursuing?
Esther
I don't think so. I don't know. But he was like a he. It bothered him, you know, she got to him a little bit. Yeah.
Jules
That's a terrible thing to do to someone.
Esther
And in this case, like, I have to believe. I don't. I don't think she knew, like, he had just gotten married, but I. Maybe she knew. I don't know.
Billy
The universe spoke to her.
Esther
Yeah, yeah.
Jules
She can feel it. But on lying, this was actually the only person that has lied crazy to me. And I believed her time and again. It was like the most lying and just straight face lying, hardcore lying that I've ever experienced.
Esther
What were the reasons for lying? Do you know?
Jules
She was obsessed with this guy. And then she went and talked to like, I'm dating someone. Somebody that, like, went on a few dates with the person I'm dating. She connected with them to exchange secrets. They wanted each other's information. Yeah, well, like, things about me and my relationship. So that. Because that girl wanted to know that girl had information on the guy that she's, like, obsessed with.
Andrea
Yeah. Too much.
Jules
She told me, like, they talked and I was like, okay, what did you say? And she's like, nothing. And she kept saying nothing. I was like, okay, well, if you said something, just let me know now and it's okay. Please don't lie to me. Just tell me. No matter what it is, just tell me. And she's like, I didn't say anything. And then we find out from the girl, like, like all these intimate details about our, our relationship that there's no way that she could just have found out herself. I was like, oh, you lied. Like, I've never had the. I. I vouched for you. I even stood up to the person I'm dating where I'm like, no, there's no way. Like, she's my friend. She wouldn't lie about this.
Billy
That's diabolical.
Esther
That's just so violating.
Jules
I've never experienced that before.
Andrea
Yeah.
Jules
In my life.
Andrea
Like, but I feel like because you believe everyone, it's more shameful to. For you to be upset that with that liar than if it was someone like Esther and I, who, like, think everyone is a liar anyways.
Billy
I know you have, like, an open heart.
Jules
Right.
Billy
You're, like, giving by default. I'm like, I don't believe anything anyone says until they prove themselves.
Andrea
Can you think of a time, though, in your younger life where you maybe your frontal cortex was not fully formed, where you were truly, like, the villain in a story?
Billy
Oh, yeah. So many times.
Esther
I can't see how that's not possible.
Host or Moderator
Yeah.
Billy
I was just thinking about, when's the last time you've hit or been hit hit, like, physically? Like, when's the last time?
Esther
To remind everyone on the Internet. Yes. I've never been hit. Shows.
Billy
Wait.
Andrea
That's why she doesn't have communal brain.
Jules
It gets beat.
Billy
Wait, but I got beat the down. But why do I not have communal?
Andrea
Because then it's like, everything I have now. You have, like, scarcity. Scarcity.
Billy
We're the spectrum of sounds.
Jules
We react differently to being hit, I guess.
Andrea
But I'm trying to think.
Jules
Yeah. As a child. Yeah, me too. Yeah.
Billy
I mean, it's just, like, it's par for the course for Asians, I feel.
Esther
Right. My sister hit me. But it's been a while. I don't remember.
Andrea
The last time I was hit was by a closeted ex of mine. He had cheated on me, and then I caught him cheating, but then I was like, you know, let's just talk. And we took a trip to Vegas. And then he saw that my ex had texted me saying that his grandma had just died. I, I. My ex's grandma and I were really close, and he was like, hey. Just giving you the heads up that, like, my grandma passed.
Esther
It's just so funny to be close with your ex's grandma. I'm sorry.
Andrea
Yeah. Because we lived in the same house, and she was this old lady, and then she would drive me to swim practice, and she was just, like, a really sweet lady. And he saw. But mind you, he. He had Already cheated. And we already knew this was the discussion on the table. But he was like, who's that? And I'm like, oh, my exo. And so see, you're doing the same thing. And I'm like, no, his grandma just died. I didn't reply to the text, and I said some. I probably said some crazy cutting. But then he, like, full mounted me. Like, full mounted me on the bed and, like, punched me several times. Oh, my God. I know, I know. He drove back to Long beach and then he changed all the locks to our apartment, called my mom. He's like, get her stuff off. What a right down low, gay down.
Billy
The downloads are so Download that velvet rage.
Esther
Wait, I don't understand. Like, a man punched you in the face?
Andrea
Yeah.
Esther
Were you okay?
Andrea
No, because then I stood right back up because this is when I was, like, deep into mma. I stood right back up. And then I put. My reaction was so insane, it probably scared the out of him. So, yes, it hurt. My face was very swollen. But then I put my hands behind, like this, like, around me, and I was like, hit me again, you little. And I told him, basically, I felt nothing. I was like, that's all you have.
Jules
I was like, you're a little.
Andrea
You can't even knock me out. And then he drove back to Long beach and changed. Yeah, but he was so mean. Oh, my God. But he's like, you have the devil's wine. You drink the devil's wine. And I'm like, me?
Billy
What the is that?
Andrea
I know.
Esther
And to this day, when I like,
Andrea
yeah, but that was his big thing.
Billy
The devil's wine.
Andrea
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Host or Moderator
We got a banana break, you guys, real quick.
Andrea
Oh yeah, yeah.
Host or Moderator
Extra special today in honor of Andrea never getting her pizza party.
Billy
We brought a pizza.
Jules
Wait, I'm gonna cry.
Billy
Wait, this is. This is Lore.
Jules
Thought you remember.
Billy
Yeah, of course, of course.
Andrea
This is a really big, how do I say, pain point in. In your life because she had a pizza party and that no one showed up to.
Billy
You have to cancel it. Oh my God, it smells so good.
Andrea
And no one came to your house for the pizza party. So here's your pizza party.
Jules
Oh, that's so nice.
Billy
Should we open it and see if it's really pizza or drink.
Jules
Is it bananas in there?
Andrea
Banana pizza.
Jules
Thank you.
Esther
Would we sing Happy Birthday? Yeah.
Andrea
Okay. Yeah. Ready?
Kiana
Sing with us.
Billy
Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you.
Esther
Happy birthday dear Andrea Pingu's mom.
Andrea
Happy birthday to you.
Jules
Thank you. Thank you guys.
Billy
Now you live somewhere where never snows. Yeah, so.
Jules
So I'll never be sad again.
Billy
Yeah.
Esther
Is that why you live here?
Andrea
Wait, I saw. I wanted to bring this up to you. I saw some guy on Tick Tock and I sent it to you.
Jules
Yeah, baby.
Esther
So cute.
Andrea
Hi.
Esther
How old is Pingu?
Jules
8.
Esther
Oh yeah. She's so close to Donut's age. Has she ever had DNA testing?
Host or Moderator
No.
Jules
I want to know.
Unknown Female Speaker
LA is such a hilarious place. Cuz I. I couldn't find a date for John Mulaney show at the Hollywood Bowl. So on I went on riot and I just sent a copy paste message to all of my matches. Said hey, I got tickets if you can be ready in three hours. Pull up.
Esther
Up.
Unknown Female Speaker
But I'm here at the Hollywood bowl and I look up and one of the girls that I messaged is on stage.
Andrea
What?
Unknown Female Speaker
And so I looked down on my phone like oh my God, I messaged the comedian. Hey, I got really shitty tickets for a John Mulaney show at 7:30. Can you be ready in three hours to her, who is on stage right now. Now, while I'm sitting in section S.
Andrea
And I sent it to. I sent it to you. And I was like, is this you?
Esther
Was it?
Jules
I don't really have. Right. Like, I have it because they gave me a free membership and then I just kept it and I don't remember this person at all.
Andrea
Yeah.
Jules
But then I went back to check and I was like, oh, haha, that's funny. Like, they did message me. I didn't open it though. And then I just deleted it.
Esther
But I like how this is actually like a cute, sweet, sweet story. But part of me really, really wishes that, like, he had, you know, left you on red or said he was going to take you on a date and then didn't. Like, I really wanted this to hurt him.
Andrea
But none of those. None of those justice too.
Esther
Yeah. In my own ways.
Andrea
None of those type of conversations happen on Raya. Everyone just like, likes each other and then moves on. It's such like a little moment of an ego boost. Ghosts. And then like, you carry on.
Jules
It just like a. It feels like a video game or something.
Andrea
Yeah, it's exactly.
Jules
This was from, I don't even know, like a year ago or something.
Andrea
Yeah.
Jules
Where I was like, whatever and then. But it carries over.
Esther
I feel like you tried to make a point about something and I think I'm understanding what you were trying to say. Like when Andrea's friend, like, lied to her and hurt her, she's like, so open and innocent that, like, it really, really hurt her and like, broke her heart. This girlfriend broke her heart. And I feel like you are trying to incend, which I think is correct. That like, if that happened to you or me, like, we would almost, like, expect it.
Kiana
Yeah.
Andrea
And like, not a shocker.
Esther
Yeah.
Kiana
Really?
Andrea
Yeah, I think so. It's not even that I have a low bar for people. It's more like I think I've been burned so many times. Especially like in la, where I'm just like, of course you're a shady person.
Jules
That's what I'm finding. It might be an LA thing because I've never had this happen in like, British Columbia in Canada, you know, like where I live most of my life.
Esther
I don't think it's fair to say it's like a city. I think it's. It could be like the industry.
Andrea
Industry? I think so.
Jules
Yeah.
Andrea
I think you're right. I think for sure it's the industry because, like, there is a. An extra level of like, what strings can I pull? Like, and there's that extra layer. And by the way, like, that. No, I'm not even trying to, like, like, throw shade at that. Like, you do have to kind of be that way.
Billy
Friendly.
Andrea
Yeah. Like political.
Esther
Yeah.
Andrea
I think for as close as you were to this person, that's just like, not warranted. Because at some point you're like, hey, we're friends, right? So I guess it would still hurt us because they were really close.
Billy
Would you say she was like, top
Jules
five friend at the time? You know? So I thought. And then, you know, saying my business to just this stranger. And I was like, who. Who is the most. You shouldn't be saying this to. Because this is someone who, like, dated the person I'm dating now.
Esther
It's such a bad feeling when someone has made you feel safe and then you like.
Jules
Yeah.
Esther
Get to share with them. And maybe it's because they've shared something really vulnerable. And so then you share and then you're like, why would I ever tell that person that stuff about me? And it's like, because they were fun and they were exciting and.
Billy
Wait a minute.
Esther
What? We're all having revelations.
Billy
I'm like, flashing to everyone who's been vulnerable with me and wondering, like, if it was a ploy.
Andrea
No, I don't think so.
Billy
You are all trying to get me, bitch.
Andrea
Oh, my God, you're gonna start spinning. No, no, no, no, no.
Esther
And you know what?
Jules
There's real human connection. There's real interactions.
Billy
Are you feeling more guarded now or are you like, that was her and it had nothing to do with me.
Jules
What's both? I feel like maybe I should just be more careful who I say my business to and also who to even be friends with, because I can't. I just can't be so open all the time because we're not in, you know, Canada anymore. I just feel like a. Like I blame myself a lot and I still do where I'm like, why did I let this person in? Why did I. It just felt like a snake was in my house, you know?
Billy
Well, that's what I'm saying. Like, she might be those. One of these people who are good at that for sure. You know what I mean? Like, this doesn't seem like a first time thing for her. Like a betrayal of this kind of.
Jules
Right.
Billy
Because if she's going around and asking for dirt.
Jules
Yeah.
Billy
That's someone who's like, speaking of pathology. She's. She's dug into like a behavior. Like she's done this before.
Andrea
She's also ultra charming, like, up front, which is, like. Should also be, like, a red flag for someone now I know better. In my 20s, you couldn't. I was so just, like, enraptured. Like, a little charm went a really long way with me. If they were funny, if they were shiny, if they said all the right things, especially if they were funny. I'm like, oh, my God, like, we're friends forever. But now I'm like, if you charm me, like. Like, turn my pants off the first 10 minutes. Like, I'm taking a step back. I'm gonna be like, okay.
Esther
So it's good to know, like, if I. If someone wants to be your friend, they just need to be, like, really boring.
Andrea
Standoffish.
Jules
Yes.
Esther
Quiet. Yeah. Yeah. Dress bad. Like, just have no shiny qualities.
Andrea
I think so. I think that's what I'm looking for these days. Nothing shiny, just real.
Esther
To your point, like, I'm saying, like, oh, were those people sharing vulnerable things with me, like, just to get stuff out of me? I actually do believe, even when I think of a specific example of something very similar to your experience happening to me, I don't think that. That those people are vulnerable with you. Like, at least I'd like to think that they're like, where the. The connection we shared was real. They just went and, like, kind of got something. Do you.
Unknown Female Speaker
What do you think?
Jules
Yeah, I. I agree with that.
Andrea
Because you can't live like that either. Like, that's a bad way to live. To be like. Like, everyone who's ever been vulnerable is, like, trying to snake me from. You know what I mean?
Jules
And I feel like, is that a bad way?
Esther
I know. I feel like we're giving mixed messages.
Jules
No one's fully a villain. Everyone just has, like, moments. Moments where they slip and then they fall into something which I can relate to. But then I just. I just feel like as you get older, you just. You're supposed to get sturdier. This is something you. You. You do falter to when you're, like, 18 or something.
Andrea
Okay, so I wanted to ask you guys, like, there have been things that have woken me up in the middle of the night where I'm like, I need to make amends for that. Like, and it's something that I did when I was 22 and drunk, and I hurt someone's feelings horribly. And it keeps me up at night at 40, in my 40s. Okay, I'll paint you the scenario. This was a co worker of mine at Abercrombie, and Fitch her. And I was like, she was like a really sweet girl. There was some like, shadiness about her, but like, never towards me. We always like, went to. We partied together early 20s. She liked this boy a lot that worked at Abercrombie, except that he had a girlfriend. But she always crushed on him hard. But then when he became single, she didn't get the attention that she thought. Now that he was single, fast forward a couple years. He then tries to pursue me, right? At which point nothing happened between us. But then she confronts me as if something did happen between me and him. And I'm like, hey, I'm actually not interested in him. But she came at me in a very aggressive way and I said something so horrible. And then her twin sister defended her and said, don't you talk to my sister like that. Which, by the way, no, she didn't work there. Oh, her twin sister, by the way. Which I was like, now that I think about him, like, yeah, girl, you should have come to your sister's defense and attacked me because you both believe I stole her man, her long time crush. I didn't. We were just friends. And I respected that. I respect it now. But at that time, I said the most vile thing. And the email that, the message I wrote back to her, the sister haunts me to this day because I. This is where I was like, I was a villain here because I was so mean and I was like, wait, like you're talking about yours? I basically called her sister a slut.
Billy
Oh, you slut shamed her.
Andrea
I slut shamed her.
Esther
If Kalila thinks it was bad, I believe her.
Andrea
It was bad. She can be really like, cutting. And I think that was so deeply hurtful. Especially because at her core, she really was like a nice girl. She really just thought I was after her long lost crush and I was not.
Esther
I just wonder, like, does this person want to hear from you?
Andrea
And they maybe not bring it up? Like, I don't know, I'm making it about me. Right?
Billy
Yeah.
Esther
In a sisterhood way though, I could see maybe if like that random, like, message hits my inbox and I'm like, oh, that was kind of nice.
Andrea
Like, what if I say this, hey, so and so what a shitty thing that I did. Like, so in this many years ago. You don't have to reply. I just really want to say that was shitty and if it made you feel bad, like, I truly am sorry,
Billy
just look into the camera and do it. She'll see the episode.
Unknown Female Speaker
She won't.
Andrea
She Won't.
Billy
She won't go direct.
Andrea
And I look at her now, like, honestly, I look at her Facebook, I'm like, she's a mom. Like, she's like.
Billy
She's got.
Andrea
She was always a nice girl. And I feel like I really, like, hurt her deeply.
Host or Moderator
Well, you were falsely accused.
Andrea
Yeah, I was falsely accused.
Billy
She was lying on your name.
Host or Moderator
She was lying on my name righteously, you know, like, no, I didn't do it. Yeah.
Andrea
And at that time, I was, like, hardcore into Atkins, and she did say a remark. She'd be like, gosh, eat a sandwich. Which really hurt me at that time. Okay, that hurt you?
Esther
That's like, the best compliment.
Andrea
Oh, really?
Jules
Yeah.
Kiana
You're too scared.
Andrea
I was in denial about my disordered eating at that time. I was like, I'm exercising. I'm running 13 miles a day. What are you talking about? Okay. Thank you for saying that. I will not be apologizing.
Billy
Don't do it.
Andrea
Don't do it.
Billy
I think you'll ruin someone's day.
Host or Moderator
In honor of the theme of today's episode and our long lost guest who didn't make it, we did have. We were gonna play Two Truths and a lie. Do you guys want to play?
Esther
Sure.
Host or Moderator
A celebrity interaction of any kind of.
Andrea
Oh, about a celebrity.
Billy
You're the celebrity.
Andrea
Okay. No, I can do this.
Host or Moderator
Okay.
Esther
Okay. Okay. I've met Emrata. I have been to a dinner party with Guy Fieri, and Gordon Ramsay once told me I was funny.
Billy
Gordon.
Andrea
I know it.
Billy
You do know it.
Esther
You probably know it.
Kiana
Yeah.
Andrea
Wait, no, I don't. I'm second guessing.
Jules
Okay.
Host or Moderator
You three have to, like, probably come to a consensus, right?
Esther
Yeah.
Billy
Okay. Do you actually know or.
Jules
No.
Andrea
It's like. Okay. I know that there was a period of time where Esther was obsessed with emerata, and I feel as though she would have, like, weaseled her way into some event.
Billy
What was the second one? Guy fairy.
Andrea
Guy Fieri. That's a little too basic for me. I'm gonna go with me. That's a little too, like. I had a dinner with Guy Fieri.
Billy
Dinner party.
Andrea
Dinner party with Guy Fieri is very uninteresting.
Billy
Can we ask questions or no?
Esther
Try.
Andrea
I don't think that's how the game is played.
Billy
Oh, okay.
Andrea
Let's take a swing at the Emrata thing, because I think she was obsessed but never met her because I would have seen that photograph.
Jules
Right.
Billy
All right, let's go with that.
Jules
But met is like meeting. Would she take photo?
Esther
For sure she would.
Billy
Oh, she was so obsessed.
Andrea
If you know her lesbianism.
Billy
All right, Emra, meeting Emrata.
Esther
Okay, that is actually true, but you are really, you're. You. You actually had so much good thought put into that. I was obsessed with her and Hannah Burner. I had heard through our agent that Emrata was going to one of Hannah Burner shows. And so I texted Hannah. I'm like, hannah, you're letting me open for you. And she's come. And so then we got to meet her after, and she was so pretty.
Andrea
Did you take pictures?
Jules
I didn't take a picture.
Esther
I don't know. It was.
Andrea
That's crazy.
Billy
That's how freaked out you were.
Esther
Yeah, I was so nervous to meet her. Like, and then when I. I don't know why these are like all opening for Friends shows. But then when I was went on tour with Nikki for that weekend, Gordon Ramsay was there and he said I was funny. I was like. And I'll never forget because he's so mean.
Billy
I love him.
Esther
I thought it for sure would be mean.
Andrea
He also just seems like the biggest, best dad. Have you ever seen him and his daughter?
Jules
Yeah, they do tik toks together.
Andrea
Yeah, they're so cute.
Billy
That's sweet. All right.
Jules
Yay.
Esther
Okay, who's next?
Andrea
Your. Who's next?
Esther
You.
Andrea
Your turn.
Jules
Okay. I've touched Gordon Ramsay.
Billy
Not the Gordon Ramsay.
Jules
What the.
Billy
Where. Where did you touch him?
Jules
I think just, you know, don't answer. It's not up for discussion.
Billy
Oh, right.
Jules
Cuz then we weren't allowed to ask questions. I've held eye contact with Kendall Jenner, and then I've been in the room.
Andrea
She forgot her own life.
Billy
It's that one.
Jules
No, no, no, no, no.
Billy
It's whatever you're about to say.
Jules
No, no, I've been in the room when Bobby was naked.
Billy
Oh, who has?
Jules
No way.
Esther
I think that Kendall Jenner is a lie. And I'm only based on that off of just the fact that Gordon Ramsay was at Nikki's show. So he's probably at one of John Mulaney shows. Oh, maybe he's a comedy fan.
Andrea
Great, great, great.
Billy
He does love kamish comedians.
Esther
And I don't think Kendall Jenner can hold eye contact. I can't imagine.
Andrea
She does have those, you know, beautiful almond eyes.
Esther
When I met Kendall Jenner, she did not look at me. So if she did hold and you
Andrea
met her, didn't you attempt to say,
Esther
yeah, I try and do a comedy show. It went horribly. I think I was pretty much escorted off the premises. I was Never invited back to a Poosh event. Okay. It got off the list, so I up.
Jules
You invited her to a show?
Esther
Yeah. It was horrible. I'm so. I think Kendall Jenner was the one.
Andrea
I think Kendall Jenner, too.
Billy
Yeah.
Andrea
She looks at no one.
Jules
No. Yeah. That's not the lie.
Billy
Which one was Gordon Ramsay?
Jules
It's the Gordon Ramsay one. Oh, you didn't buy him? I've never touched him.
Andrea
I never touched him.
Esther
Eye contact with.
Jules
Okay. So I was. She was at a show. She was at.
Andrea
They're closer in height. They are closer in height. I think maybe he just couldn't see you.
Jules
It might be the height thing. She was at one of Dave Chappelle's shows, and I was there, and I. My eyesight is really bad. So before a moment, I was like, is that Kendall Jenner? And then I just stared at her for a really long time, and she stared back at me. And we stared at each other for quite some time because she. Because I wouldn't let it go. And she was. And I think she was like, who the fuck is staring at me?
Andrea
So she is, like, bisexual, do you think?
Jules
I don't know.
Andrea
Imagine your eyesight was so bad. It was actually Gordon Ramsay.
Jules
But I kept staring, and then, like, I. I think she thought maybe, like, I was someone that thought, like, maybe we knew each other or something. So we just held it for a long time until I was like, oh, it is Kendall Jenner. And then I just. I just like, when you could have
Billy
slept with Kendall Jenner?
Andrea
Yeah.
Jules
I don't think so.
Esther
I don't know.
Billy
I don't think so.
Jules
She was with Bad Bunny at that time. Sure. They were, like, talking to each other. I was like, what? How are you guys talking to each other? I know, but seeing a celebrity is super strange, where you're like. You can't believe. You're kind of like, no.
Billy
They're always so small.
Jules
Yeah. Kendall is really tall.
Andrea
She is really tall.
Esther
And you're. It's also, like, disorienting. You're like. You want to be like, hi. And then you're like, no.
Jules
Yeah.
Esther
I don't know you. Okay, who's next?
Billy
Okay, so Ethan Hawke has bummed cigarette. Multiple cigarettes from me.
Esther
Very specific.
Billy
I have kissed Lance Bass on the cheek. Oh, and I shared an elevator with Sarah Jessica Parker.
Andrea
I believe the Lance Bass thing, just because, you know, he's very. He's everywhere in the gay world, I think.
Esther
Sarah Jessica Parker.
Andrea
Yeah, I think so.
Jules
I guess I'll just go with the group.
Esther
Why Because I think, like, sharing cigarettes with Ethan Hawk feels so specific. I don't know. I. I can't imagine Sarah Jessica Parker, like, being open to sharing an elevator with someone. I think she's gonna wait for the next one.
Billy
Yeah, she's closing the door. So the lie was kiss slants bass on the cheek.
Andrea
Because he. He threw the most obvious one there. Right, Billy?
Kiana
Yeah, yeah.
Jules
Like, sneaky.
Billy
We hugged, but we didn't kiss on the cheek.
Jules
Oh, we're. No. Yeah. That wasn't alive for me.
Andrea
Yeah, that was the truth right here.
Host or Moderator
Can you tell us about the Ethan Hawke.
Billy
So he. This is when I used to live in New York, and he. I. I worked in the same building as this then CAA New York office. And he would always be around there. Slash, like, different restaurants around there. And that's when I was heavily smoking cigarettes. And he's like a chain smoker.
Esther
Why do you have his own cigarettes?
Billy
He never had his own cigarettes. It was. That was so. I'm like, you're so rich. What's going on?
Andrea
Maybe it's because he's one of those guys that's just like, I'm not gonna smoke. I'm not a smoker. I'm not a smoker.
Kiana
He's just gonna bum it.
Andrea
That's like, how I feel when I'm like, I'm not gonna eat the whole thing. So I don't serve myself a plate, but then I'll eat it off the stove because then I don't see how much I'm eating. Because if it's a big pot, I don't know how much I'm actually eating.
Esther
Right.
Billy
But if you're down on a plate, it's like, actual food.
Andrea
Yeah. Then I'm like, I ate that much.
Billy
Right.
Andrea
Versus just grazing.
Host or Moderator
When your girlfriend doesn't order anything, you
Esther
know, and she's eating your mom. Wait, so what happened with Sarah Jessica Parker in the elevator?
Billy
Yeah, she. I was in the elevator, and she was like, excuse me, hold the elevator. And I was like, what? And I held it, and I was like, whoa, it's Sarah Jessica Parker. She gets in. I'm like, stunned because it was the height of Sex and City, and I was, like, trembling and I couldn't. I. I was about to say, like, I'm such a fan. But I didn't even want to do that because I, you know, she doesn't want to hear it. So I'm like, guys, New York, Same CAA building.
Jules
Oh, yeah.
Billy
They were both, I guess, represented there.
Andrea
I'm gonna Keep mine really simple.
Jules
Okay.
Esther
She has to win. She's. No, no, no.
Andrea
This is.
Esther
I feel like you're gonna know some of this. She's getting weird. Trust me.
Billy
You're gonna crush it.
Andrea
I've locked eyes and flirted with Jim Carrey. I've locked eyes and flirted with Alexander Skarsgard. I've locked eyes and flirted with Hozier.
Jules
Oh, everybody.
Billy
Those three are so good.
Jules
Yeah.
Billy
What was the second one?
Andrea
Alexander Skarsgard.
Esther
Where would you meet Jim Carrey?
Billy
Store.
Andrea
Does he think I don't leave the house.
Billy
Where would she meet Alexander Skarsgard?
Esther
I just. Jim Carrey's not around.
Billy
Yeah. He's now out of hiding with that new face.
Esther
But he did date a friend of mine. That is a similar ethnicity makeup.
Andrea
Yeah. I think he goes across the board, to be honest. Is what I've equal opportunity gathered.
Billy
I would say Skarska because he's so tall. I would imagine it would be hard to lock eyes because your neck would be like this.
Esther
Wait, who was the third one? I don't know who the third one.
Billy
Take me to try.
Andrea
Oh, I love that song.
Esther
When even nobles.
Andrea
Or is it Hosier?
Esther
I think Jim Carrey is the lie, but even though I. I kind of think none of them are the lie. I'm going with Jim Carrey just because I never see him.
Billy
Okay, I'm gonna go hojo. I'm gonna split up this.
Andrea
Can you think of peak? Kalila, not mother Kalila. Not Bell's palsy. Like, peak.
Esther
Like, no one is thinking that because
Andrea
everyone's like, none of this could possibly be true.
Esther
I literally think all of them are possible, but I just don't know where you would and see Jim Carrey.
Andrea
I see what you're saying.
Esther
Like, even, like, I don't see him out and about. Yeah. I don't see where Bobby would have seen him.
Jules
Like, okay, yeah, yeah, let's go.
Andrea
Are you with the gym carry?
Billy
I'll do Jim Carrey too. He is reclusive.
Andrea
That's not a lie.
Esther
Oh, where did you meet him?
Andrea
At a ca party with Bobby. And then I went off to get my own food, and we had a very long moment of. He was like, who is this tall, brown drink of water? And Bobby immediately was like, oh, my God.
Jules
Oh, my God.
Andrea
Jim Carrey is going after my girl. And then he, like, like, intercepted.
Esther
Oh, my God.
Billy
Bobby intercepted?
Andrea
Yeah. And he was like, oh, hey, what's up, dude? But it was because Bobby's like, hey, can you go get me some cavior? So I was like, oh, I got to get up.
Esther
Yeah.
Andrea
And so, like, we. I stood up and he just happened to be also serving himself food. And he was like, hey, like, how are you? And in a very, like, a we. I. I know when a man's about to.
Jules
Yeah. Yeah.
Billy
Why did you.
Andrea
Did you feel nothing? I was just like, no.
Billy
I would have felt like the prettiest girl in the world.
Unknown Female Speaker
Yeah.
Jules
Kidding.
Billy
That's kidding me.
Andrea
His energy was very, like, sweet, though. Not, like, predatory, which I liked.
Esther
I can't believe you would eat like, that's.
Andrea
And Alexander Skarsgard twice, you guys. One at a party and one at Oaks Cafe. And Jules was like, I cannot believe, like, how long you guys, like, locked eyes.
Host or Moderator
Really?
Andrea
Yeah. But then I know that and the Hozier is a lie.
Jules
I felt like they were all true, too.
Billy
Of all of those Jim Carrey's my number. Like, I would be so excited. Yeah. Him over Hojira.
Esther
Huge. And he's so inaccessible.
Billy
Skarsgard, by the way, Jim Carrey, star of Liar Liar.
Andrea
Listen, I'll get right back.
Kiana
Yes.
Andrea
I always want to remember the claw. That was one of my favorite movies. Yeah, I want to watch it when I get home. Jerk off. Just kidding.
Jules
Just kidding.
Andrea
Just kidding.
Billy
That took a twist.
Esther
Let's get out of here. What's Happy pizza party to Andy.
Jules
Thank you. This was so sweet.
Esther
I'm so glad.
Jules
My heart is healing. Thank you, guys.
Esther
Anything to plug from anyone.
Billy
I have a YouTube special out called Rice Piglet. Go check that out on my page.
Jules
I have nothing but, like. But you know, things are happening, I think, and things will happen in the future, but so just kind of look at me sometimes.
Andrea
Andrea Jin, EB is at Sephora. If you want to have gorgeous, pretty
Esther
hair, it's at the forest. Staying there, go to Sephora.
Andrea
Your mom texted me. She's like, I need more eb.
Esther
Oh, my God.
Jules
I love all the marketing for it. It's so Jules. And you guys all look so good. Good.
Andrea
Oh, thank you.
Esther
You guys have the best hair.
Billy
I saw a Norwalk Sephora.
Andrea
Oh, no way.
Billy
Randomly at a Norwalk Sephora. And I walked in and I saw you at on a corner thing.
Esther
And I was like, wait, she was.
Billy
No, no, her company.
Esther
Oh, okay. I was like, imagine. By the way, I was just mentioning to someone how your brand is in Sephora. And they were like, that is a huge deal. That is so. Like, I knew that. But just reiterating, like from a beauty world, like, that is. Yeah, a really hard thing to get.
Andrea
Yeah, I do understand the gravity of it all now.
Billy
It's like, do you know how many drag queens would love to be in your position right now?
Andrea
Really?
Billy
Yeah. To be at, like, at a huge beauty.
Andrea
Like, the beauty prestige.
Jules
Yeah.
Esther
All right, we'll see you guys next time with a brand new episode. Thanks,
Jules
Ra.
Hosts: Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn
Guest Panel: Andrea Jin (primary guest), Jules, Billy
Release Date: June 23, 2026
This lively episode of Trash Tuesday centers on the dynamics of friendship, trust, community, and lying—both the silly and the serious—as recounted by comedians and close friends Esther and Khalyla, joined this time by comedian Andrea Jin, Jules, and Billy. Blending funny personal stories and candid confessions, the group moves from light-hearted games about celebrity encounters to raw confessions about trust issues, the pain of betrayal, and the ways in which adulthood, trauma, and growing up shape how we relate to others.
(01:31 – 09:00)
(09:01 – 11:30)
(11:37 – 23:00)
(26:13 – 48:12)
(50:00 – 54:00)
(51:32 – 62:50)
(48:12 – 51:32)
(39:33 – 40:44, revisited at 63:04)
As always, Trash Tuesday leans into its signature mix of brutal honesty, heartfelt confessional, and wild, rough-around-the-edges humor. The episode is replete with "relatable trash," inside jokes, and moments of genuine vulnerability—sprinkled with LA and industry gossip, plus the playful chaos of real friendship.
For listeners who missed this episode, you’ll come away with new insights into adult friendships, why setting boundaries is hard, the ambiguous art of lying, and, above all, what it means to be “Real, not shiny.”