Brooke Schofield's Vegetable Cancellation

Summary

Podcast Summary: Trash Tuesday w/ Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn Episode Title: Brooke Schofield's Vegetable Cancellation
Release Date: February 18, 2025

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Introduction to the Episode

In this lively episode of "Trash Tuesday," hosts Esther Povitsky and Khalyla Kuhn welcome guest Brooke Schofield to discuss a variety of topics ranging from personal habits and entrepreneurial ventures to health anecdotes and aspirations in reality television.

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Patreon Launch and Community Support

[00:25 - 01:22]

The conversation kicks off with Brooke announcing the launch of the official Trash Tuesday Patreon. She highlights that all proceeds are directed towards individuals affected by recent fires, emphasizing the podcast's commitment to community support.

Brooke Schofield: "All proceeds right now are going towards people who are in need from the fires." [00:46]

Khalyla expresses personal relief and excitement about joining the Patreon, indicating a deeper level of engagement with the community.

Khalyla Kuhn: "Honestly, I am so relieved we have one. It's not even because we want you to have this. It's really for me." [00:32]

Esther shares her enthusiasm, reinforcing the collaborative spirit of the podcast.

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Upcoming Live Shows in Chicago

[01:22 - 01:46]

Brooke reveals her plans to perform four stand-up comedy shows in Chicago on March 21st and 22nd at the Den Theater. She invites listeners to purchase tickets through the provided links, promising an entertaining experience filled with planned activities and audience interaction.

Brooke Schofield: "These shows are going to be so much fun. We're going to hang. It's going to be so great." [01:22]

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Exploring ChatGPT and AI Relationships

[01:46 - 02:49]

Esther delves into her fascination with ChatGPT, sharing how she interacts with the AI daily to gather fun facts and manage her intrusive thoughts. She humorously reflects on potentially developing a quirky relationship with AI due to her considerate interactions.

Esther Povitsky: "I start to feel guilty. I'm like, oh, my God, I'm ruining their night." [02:08]

Brooke expresses hesitation and intimidation towards mastering ChatGPT, contemplating the societal pressure to stay updated with AI advancements.

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Personal Appearance and Age Misconceptions

[02:49 - 04:54]

The trio engages in a humorous exchange about Esther's youthful appearance, discussing how people often mistake her for someone much younger. They explore the implications of looking significantly different from one's actual age, blending comedy with genuine compliments.

Esther Povitsky: "I didn't eat a vegetable until I was, like, 18 years old. So I'm, like, still, like, in the starter phase." [04:16]

Brooke and Khalyla both admire Esther’s looks, highlighting the comedic yet affectionate tone of their interaction.

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Dealing with Trauma and Natural Disasters

[05:04 - 06:29]

Khalyla shares her experience with her home being destroyed by fires, discussing the emotional and logistical challenges of losing personal belongings and facing environmental hazards. The conversation underscores the podcast's engagement with real-world issues affecting their community.

Khalyla Kuhn: "I can't even have my stuff." [05:40]

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Unexpected Wildlife Encounters

[06:05 - 07:19]

Esther recounts an unusual experience driving through a residential area teeming with peacocks, revealing her surprise at encountering such wildlife outside of zoo settings. The hosts joke about the possible intentions behind the peacocks’ presence, adding lightheartedness to the episode.

Esther Povitsky: "I was just on a residential street, and there was, like, eight peacocks everywhere." [06:29]

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Reality TV Aspirations and Self-Perception

[09:36 - 17:00]

A significant portion of the episode revolves around the hosts’ desires and hesitations about participating in reality television shows like "Survivor" and "Dancing with the Stars." They discuss personal insecurities, the balance between wanting fame and fearing public scrutiny, and share anecdotes about attempts at maintaining healthy lifestyles amidst their busy schedules.

Brooke Schofield: "I would die to go on it, yes. I would love to." **[10:43]
Esther Povitsky: "I have a question... do you have aspirations in that area?" [10:10]

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Health Challenges and Personal Anecdotes

[08:25 - 21:53]

The hosts open up about their health struggles, including Khalyla’s experience with Bell's palsy and Esther’s recent battle with norovirus. They discuss the impact of these health issues on their daily lives and relationships, blending vulnerability with humor.

Esther Povitsky: "I had a question... I just shit myself on a residential street." **[36:27]
Brooke Schofield: "I had norovirus when I was shooting a movie in Chicago." [32:03]

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Fitness, Diet, and Personal Development

[21:53 - 44:40]

Esther discusses her newfound dedication to fitness, inspired by the mindset of always being prepared for challenges like those on reality TV shows. The conversation covers workout routines, dietary habits, and the psychological benefits of maintaining physical health.

Esther Povitsky: "Eating healthy and working out makes you happier. I rejected that for so long because I was like, there's just no way. And then I found out it's like, it's real." [42:31]

Khalyla and Brooke share their own fitness journeys, highlighting the supportive dynamic among the hosts.

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Fashion Trends and Personal Style

[19:00 - 22:55]

A humorous segment on the resurgence of low-rise jeans unfolds, with the hosts expressing their mixed feelings about the trend. Esther admits to still being in the "starter phase" of eating vegetables, intertwining the discussion with jokes about avoiding cancellation by universally praising all vegetables.

Esther Povitsky: "I didn't eat a vegetable until I was, like, 18 years old. So I'm, like, still, like, in the starter phase." [22:43]

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Entrepreneurial Ventures and Advertisements

[27:32 - 30:28]

The episode includes promotional segments for sponsors like Squarespace and DraftKings Casino. Esther provides authentic testimonials about using Squarespace for her business, while Brooke endorses DraftKings with humorous disclaimers about responsible gambling.

Esther Povitsky: "Squarespace is absolutely the best. They have people who help you. If you email them, they have a chat, and it makes you run your website." [27:32]

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Closing Thoughts and Future Plans

[60:18 - 68:49]

As the episode winds down, the hosts brainstorm potential reality show ideas, blending creativity with their unique comedic styles. They express enthusiasm for trying new things together, such as swim lessons and stunt training, reinforcing their bond and commitment to personal growth.

Esther Povitsky: "I have to go on it, probably. But it's really a stupid show." **[64:00]
Kalila Kuhn: "We will fix that. We will learn." [60:34]

Brooke announces upcoming international tours, hinting at expanded horizons for the podcast.

Esther Povitsky: "We're about to announce our international tour in, like, a week." [68:29]

The episode concludes with heartfelt thanks to the listeners and a reminder to join their Patreon for more exclusive content.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Esther Povitsky: "I didn't eat a vegetable until I was, like, 18 years old. So I'm, like, still, like, in the starter phase." [49:11]
• Brooke Schofield: "I would die to go on it, yes. I would love to." [10:43]
• Khalyla Kuhn: "I have to go on it, probably. But it's really a stupid show." [64:00]

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Conclusion

This episode of "Trash Tuesday" masterfully blends humor, personal anecdotes, and meaningful discussions. From launching their Patreon and planning live shows to sharing intimate health stories and dreaming about reality TV fame, Esther, Khalyla, and Brooke engage listeners with their authentic selves and relatable experiences. The conversational flow, punctuated with laughter and genuine insights, makes this episode a standout for both regular listeners and newcomers.

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Follow Trash Tuesday:

• Instagram: @itstrashtuesday
• TikTok: @itstrashtuesday
• YouTube: Hit Our Buttons
• Khalyla Kuhn: @khalamityk
• Esther Povitsky: @esthermonster

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Note: This summary skips advertisements, intros, outros, and non-content sections as per the provided guidelines.

Transcript

[Esther Povitsky]

I didn't eat a vegetable until I was, like, 18 years old. So I'm, like, still, like, in the starter phase. I'm still dipping my feet in the water. I like broccolini and I like broccoli.

[Kalila]

Broccoli is a great starter vegetable. I feel. Right.

[Brooke]

Yeah, I feel like that's, like, pretty.

[Esther Povitsky]

Much the worst of it, so. Oh, I like carrots, too. I like vegetables.

[Brooke]

It's like, you try not to get canceled. You're like, I like all vegetables. I do.

[Esther Povitsky]

I like them all. That's exactly what just happened, by the way.

[Kalila]

Kalila, Esther.

[Brooke]

So we have the coolest thing ever that we started, and it's the official Trash Tuesday patreon.

[Kalila]

I think it is the place to be. Honestly, I am so relieved we have one. It's not even because we want you to have this. It's really for me. I joined. I actually joined.

[Esther Povitsky]

I know.

[Kalila]

You did join.

[Brooke]

Wait, you actually did so sees a Trash Tuesday fan.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Brooke]

All proceeds right now are going towards people who are in need from the fires. And if you join right now, if you haven't joined yet, there's two vlogs up there. There's at least three full episodes. We've been kind of low key over delivering on our Patreon.

[Kalila]

I mean, a lot of secrets, maybe a lot of juicy stuff.

[Brooke]

Yeah. There's the stuff that's coming. You're going to want to be around for it. So please join our Patreon. We are so happy to have this special place with you guys. And you can get all the info at the link below. And thank you to our golden sluggies, Thomas, Kia, Anthony, Chrysantha, and Ariel.

[Esther Povitsky]

Coming to Chicago.

[Brooke]

That's right. I'm going to be doing four standup shows in Chicago. March 21st and 22nd. Are those the dates? Yes, they are. And I'll be at the Den theater, and you can get tickets at the link below. And I cannot wait. These shows are going to be so much fun. We're going to hang. It's going to be so great. I have so much planned. So, Chicago, I will see you guys March 21st and 22nd.

[Esther Povitsky]

You know, I'm obsessed with chat GPT right now. I just, like, really? I'm, like, so late to the party, but I'm having so much fun with it. I ask it everything all day long.

[Brooke]

Okay. Is this. Am I. I don't have it, and now I'm intimidated. Are you, like, way more advanced in life now because you use it well? Are you?

[Esther Povitsky]

It just depends. Depends on if they can answer my.

[Brooke]

Question, what some information you've gotten from it?

[Esther Povitsky]

I ask, like, I'll say, like, can you please tell me some fun facts about Survivor? And then they'll just tell me fun facts all night. And I start to feel guilty. I'm not kidding. Because I'll be like, like, let me know if you want more. And I'll be like, more, more. And then I start feeling guilty. I'm like, oh, my God, I'm ruining their night.

[Brooke]

Like, you're totally going to be that person that develops a weird relationship with AI because you're already worried about these it's feelings.

[Esther Povitsky]

I wonder if it's a girl or a boy. I feel like it has too much information to be a boy.

[Brooke]

Do you pay for it?

[Esther Povitsky]

I don't pay for it, but I know you can pay for it. And I think it's probably more advanced, but, like, I just. I'm. I'm in the starter phase.

[Brooke]

Yeah, I. I feel like I've done a little bit of that and I just get too intimidated. Like, do you remember the phase, like, maybe it was like six months ago or a year ago where everyone's like, chat, GBT is going to change everything, and if you don't use it, you're stupid and you're left behind. Do. Did you ever feel that messaging?

[Esther Povitsky]

I never heard that.

[Brooke]

Oh, maybe they only did that, like, to the old people.

[Esther Povitsky]

You're not. You're, like, three years older than me.

[Brooke]

I thought you were saying you're three years old, and I was really happy that too.

[Esther Povitsky]

You look, like, so young. Like, I would, like, I would give.

[Brooke]

You, like, a pass for three years old.

[Esther Povitsky]

I don't know about three, but I feel like, like, truthfully, if. If you told me, like, you were 14 and I didn't know you, I would believe it.

[Brooke]

It's so weird because literally the airport, the. I was going through TSA and they go, Are you over 13? I was like, I complete.

[Esther Povitsky]

Like, I completely get that. And that's such. Like, that's the best thing ever because.

[Brooke]

Like, I'm 36 and you're 36? Yeah.

[Esther Povitsky]

And no, but.

[Brooke]

Okay, here's. And I say this and that's not.

[Esther Povitsky]

Old, by the way, but you actually, I'm not kidding. You look 13.

[Brooke]

I say this all the time, but, like, to be mistaken for, like, 27, I'd be like, yeah, okay, I'm looking good. But to be mistaken for 13 and you're 36, like, that doesn't mean you look good. It means Something is wrong. Like, you're sick.

[Esther Povitsky]

No, it doesn't.

[Brooke]

It's.

[Esther Povitsky]

It's a good thing. It's like, oh, yeah.

[Brooke]

But I think it's mostly how I dress and that I just don't wear makeup.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah.

[Kyla]

I would say 13's a bit young. 17 for me.

[Brooke]

I would believe you guys.

[Kyla]

Teenager.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah.

[Brooke]

Guys.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah.

[Brooke]

What is like, you probably would be.

[Kyla]

Carded every time you tried to get cigarettes.

[Esther Povitsky]

I saw a comment recently about me, and they were like, she's literally. She looks 50, and she's only. She's only in her early 30s. And I'm like, I'm literally 28.

[Kalila]

Twice.

[Brooke]

She looks 50.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah. And it was like. Yeah, it was like. And she's only in here. She's young. She's only in her 30s. Look, I'm literally 28.

[Brooke]

It's so crazy. You're, like, so young and beautiful, and you look like a porcelain doll.

[Esther Povitsky]

That's so nice.

[Brooke]

I work really hard at it. I. Yay. Hello. Look at me, I'm a Kalila today. Look at how bad I look.

[Kalila]

You can only be a Kalila if.

[Brooke]

What? Sunglasses.

[Kalila]

There's many things missing. Babes.

[Esther Povitsky]

No, you're fabulous because you have the Miu Miu New Balance sneakers.

[Brooke]

Thank you. That was my one little touch.

[Kalila]

Including having a home.

[Brooke]

I can't wait. Since we last saw you, Kyla lost her.

[Kalila]

I live in Altadena, so I am. But we're okay. No, no, no, no. I Honestly, this. Look. Look how great I look.

[Esther Povitsky]

You really do look wonderful.

[Kalila]

No, I'm. I'm honestly, like, I'm lucky compared to others because I have the means and the resources to live somewhere else.

[Brooke]

But.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah, but. Oh, God, that's so hard.

[Brooke]

So her house didn't burn down, but every house near her did. So literally everything is destroyed and unusable, and she can't live there and she can't even have her stuff.

[Kalila]

I can't.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah, Can. Do they let you in?

[Kalila]

No, for a while they didn't, but the EPA is now over there cleaning up, like, the rubble because it's, you know, it's toxic ash, right? So basically, they said that all soft goods are no good. Electronics, no good.

[Brooke]

What else is there?

[Kalila]

All my vintage shirts.

[Brooke]

No, wait, really?

[Kalila]

I know my lifelong collection.

[Brooke]

Wait, can I. I'll make use of them.

[Kalila]

You will wear lead on your body and arsenic.

[Esther Povitsky]

I. I would. I don't believe in that stuff. I'm not kidd. I, like. You could tell me, like, what I'm eating is radioactive and I'm like, it's fine, but that's so horrible.

[Brooke]

We.

[Esther Povitsky]

I have a question. I. So I drove, like, kind of around there recently. I was, like, dropping stuff off to a girl, and there's peacocks everywhere.

[Kalila]

Oh, yeah.

[Esther Povitsky]

In the, like, actual, like, first of all, I didn't even know peacocks existed in the wild. Like, I thought they were, like, only a zoo thing.

[Kalila]

Like giraffes and, like, an engineered animal.

[Brooke]

Yes.

[Esther Povitsky]

And they're, like, genuine, or I thought they, like, at least got them all.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Esther Povitsky]

They're walking down the street and, like, not one, two. There was, like, eight peacocks everywhere. I'm just on a residential street.

[Kalila]

Yeah. On the rooftops. Everywhere. They're. That's. That's our vibe. That's Altadena. Pasadena vibe. Arcadia, Monrovia. We got peacocks, and they're so big.

[Brooke]

I think you can hurt them.

[Kalila]

Well, they don't need my rescuing. They're so happy. They're everywhere. They're just. And they make little cat noises. So you think there's a cat in the neighborhood needing help. And I love the peacocks and the peahens just going nuts.

[Esther Povitsky]

I just feel like that's like, I. I would take one. I feel like they would be something that you would, like, smuggle somewhere.

[Brooke]

Yeah.

[Esther Povitsky]

Because they're, like, so fabulous.

[Kalila]

They are. My. My boyfriend kills the vibe every time. He's like, oh, pee hen are delicious. I'm like, stop.

[Brooke]

Pee hen.

[Kalila]

Pee hen apparently are delicious.

[Esther Povitsky]

What One's a peahen.

[Kalila]

There's a peacock. No, they don't have the pretty.

[Esther Povitsky]

Oh, so they don't. We're not eating the blue ones.

[Kalila]

So we're not eating the pretty ones.

[Brooke]

Okay, then.

[Esther Povitsky]

Problematic.

[Brooke]

Wait, what is it like to just be with a man that, like, you never know when he's gonna see something and be like, I've eaten that. Like, it's just like a big.

[Kalila]

I think I've eaten worse things than him.

[Brooke]

Okay.

[Kalila]

So I think we're safe there. He's just a hunter, right? Like, he's like an old school trad husband.

[Esther Povitsky]

White trash. You got in trouble last time for saying that hunting and fishing is white trash behavior.

[Brooke]

It is to me, because that's like. I don't know. Never mind.

[Esther Povitsky]

Those are life skills.

[Brooke]

Like, city folk don't do that.

[Esther Povitsky]

I feel white trash for not being able to hunter fish. Like, you'd put me out in the wild and I couldn't survive.

[Brooke]

Maybe you're right. I don't know. Maybe I just hate my family and I don't know how to articulate it.

[Esther Povitsky]

Well, we were talking about your Bell's palsy earlier. You look much, much better.

[Kalila]

Oh, you think?

[Esther Povitsky]

Actually, I think it's over.

[Kalila]

No, it's not, Brooke. It's not. Don't lie. To see you. You're. That's a blatant lie.

[Esther Povitsky]

I don't think I'm lying, because before.

[Brooke]

You guys, she's like, are there any secrets about Kalila? And I did accuse you of faking.

[Kalila]

Wait, I had another friend in the desert. Shandy.

[Brooke]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

When she saw me saying that I had Bell's palsy, she was like, I thought the whole time you were faking it. Like, that is so rude, you guys.

[Brooke]

No, I never thought you were faking it.

[Esther Povitsky]

Positive.

[Brooke]

I think you had it. Hear me out. I think you had it, but I think that it's gone. And mentally, you're not ready to let go of it.

[Kalila]

Why? Because I don't have to wear makeup and I can throw sunglasses on?

[Brooke]

Okay, well, you just gave me the perfect answer.

[Kalila]

Yeah, it's a cheap code. No, I don't voluntarily want to look this shitty, guys.

[Esther Povitsky]

No, you look amazing. I literally feel like you don't have it. I. I did the same thing, though. When mine went away, I was like, well, now I'm perm. I'm permanently crooked. But then I would look back at photos and I'm like, oh, no, no, no. That was always happening.

[Brooke]

Everyone's crooked.

[Kalila]

We'll be with you. How's 2025 going for you?

[Esther Povitsky]

I don't. I mean, it's better than for a lot of people. I feel like I'm same old, same old. It's the same as the end of last year. I want something, like, fun and amazing to happen to me.

[Brooke]

Oh, what should we manifest? Like, what. What are we. What could that be? A trip or, like a romance?

[Esther Povitsky]

Or, like, I don't know.

[Brooke]

Wait, would you ever. I have such an important question. Okay, so we're both friends with Trisha Paytas, right? And you saw that she did her big Broadway dream is. So you're a dancer. Like, do you have aspirations in that area? Yes.

[Esther Povitsky]

Well, I. I don't have, like, Broadway dreams. I mean, maybe I would, like, if I. I've never even seen a Broadway show, so I've, like. I feel like if I went to see one, I'd probably be like, oh, I have to have this. I want to go on Dancing with the Stars more than. More than anything in life. And I am so, like, I'm so self conscious because I just know that they're gonna have Alex Earl in Dancing with the Stars, and then she's gonna fill the influencer spot for, like, the next five years, you know what I mean? Because they're not gonna have enough. Like, they don't have an influencer every time.

[Kalila]

They don't.

[Esther Povitsky]

I don't know. Maybe.

[Kalila]

I feel like they dig really deep in the roster.

[Brooke]

I think you are very realistic for that. I want to.

[Esther Povitsky]

So together.

[Brooke]

I want to be on it.

[Esther Povitsky]

Oh, my God.

[Kalila]

Yes.

[Brooke]

I'll be the comedian and you be the influencer.

[Esther Povitsky]

We perfect.

[Kalila]

Would you go on it?

[Brooke]

I would die to go on it, yes. I would love to. Yeah. And I've. I've also, like, been hanging out with people, and I'm like, I'll say that's what I want. And then my friends will be like, they offer me that every year. And I'm just like, oh, my God, you bitch.

[Kalila]

The only thing I was offered was naked and afraid.

[Esther Povitsky]

Wait, I feel like you would slay naked and afraid.

[Brooke]

Are you kidding? You would kill.

[Kalila]

Not quite offer, but it was like, through a friend to ask a friend to ask me if I would do it. But this was like, peak tiger belly. And this is. You know, at that time, I was like, no, I don't want to do anything else, but. But it's because you win nothing but a PSI rating of, like, she either increase or decrease. You get. No, you only get mosquito bites and you get dehydrated, lose a ton of weight, and that's it.

[Esther Povitsky]

I mean, dehydrated weight loss. I watch. I am addicted to Survivor right now. Last time I saw you guys, that's what's new in 2025. It's. I went from the challenge to Survivor, and I'm so convinced I can go on Survivor now because I used to, like, watch it and think, like, oh, my God, that's so miserable. But it's like, they're not sleeping alone. Like, you're not in the middle of nowhere. It's like there's a billion people around you, right?

[Kalila]

So I had a friend who was on Survivor the second season, and vintage. She. I. I know this for a fact. I used to think that it had to be someone so hardcore, right, to make it through the show, the physical, whatever challenges. No, Like, I traveled with this person, and she was the weakest person I had ever met in my life. Like, we went canyoneering, and she wouldn't even jump five feet into the water. And she was a runner up on Survivor.

[Esther Povitsky]

That's crazy.

[Brooke]

So you, like.

[Esther Povitsky]

I think it's just a lot of mental is mental.

[Kalila]

She's very. In the best way possible possible. Like, very manipulative and very, like, crafty.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah. She probably just had a good, like, social game.

[Brooke]

Now I want to go on.

[Kalila]

I think you'd actually win.

[Esther Povitsky]

You would. You would be amazing. People would love you so much, they'd probably bring you to the end.

[Brooke]

They wouldn't want to vote me off because I'm so weak.

[Esther Povitsky]

Like, that's how a lot of people get by. And I think that would be my. My strategy. Strategy is crazy. It's just, like, a fact.

[Brooke]

But a lot of people get.

[Esther Povitsky]

Get through because they're like, I don't need to get rid of them. I'm gonna beat them anyway.

[Brooke]

Yeah, that's.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Brooke]

We could go far in reality tv. We can dance. We can be weak.

[Esther Povitsky]

Would you do, like, a show, like, just like, a regular reality show?

[Brooke]

At this point? I think I would do anything. I don't know. My brain is so rotted and dead from having a child. And also, I shouldn't blame her. It's just who I am. But, like, I'm super open to anything.

[Kalila]

Would you if today they were like, brooke, you're the next Bachelorette?

[Esther Povitsky]

I feel like I wouldn't like that. I would feel really, like, first of all, I already have. Like, I've the. The anxiety I have before a date in general. First of all, I have to, like, for, like, take 11 shots before I go on a first date. So to imagine, like, doing that just over and over and over again, and now it's filmed and, like, I'm just being perceived. And, like, imagine, like, going to bed at night, like, how you normally do, and, like, think about every, like, embarrassing thing that you did on that date. But now everyone gets to watch it, like, over and over and over again.

[Brooke]

Okay. This is a common thing I keep hearing from my girlfriends, which is, like, the staying up at night thinking about all the dumb things you said that day. And I. I did this in my 20s, and I don't do this anymore. And I just want to say that, like, no one. No one is thinking about what you said at night. They're thinking about what they said. So you should just stop caring.

[Kalila]

Are you sure?

[Esther Povitsky]

I think about what other people say.

[Brooke]

Really?

[Kalila]

Are you sure?

[Brooke]

Esther, what are you. What?

[Kalila]

Oh, my God. Of all the times to actually consider what you're saying, it's now. Because back then, no one had phones. We could go to Vegas, kick our heels off, and dance, like, Ratchet all night and no one. There would be no record of it. Now it's like you do every single thing, say any single thing, and you're, you're, you're in trouble.

[Esther Povitsky]

Well, we kind of. I mean, this is different than, like, a normal conversation. Like, we film all our conversations. So I feel like that might be, like, why I feel so anxious about what I say all the time.

[Brooke]

But what if you were, like, if you're. Let's say, like, we're not filming right now. We're all, like, hanging out. But maybe it's not us because I feel like we're all super comfortable. I should hope. But, like, if you're hanging out with people and then later you're like, what did I say? I'm like, am I lame and embarrassing?

[Kalila]

Oh, like that?

[Brooke]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

Just with friends, not recorded. No.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah, I guess I don't really have much of that.

[Brooke]

But you're saying if you went on a date, you'd be, like, up at night thinking about.

[Esther Povitsky]

That's. But you're underestimating, like, how weird of the thing I could possibly say on a date.

[Brooke]

Let's. Let's be on a first date.

[Esther Povitsky]

I don't know. God, I wish I could think of a good example off the top of it. Like, I have. We were just talking about this, but, like, when I can't think of anything, I'll just, like, make something up.

[Kalila]

And so I've.

[Esther Povitsky]

I've told lies that I, like, can't keep up with. And it's like, that guy was such a nice guy and I probably would have had a future with him. But, like, how am I supposed to explain to him, like, later down the line that I, like, I didn't graduate med school? Like, it's just weird.

[Kyla]

That's a big lie, though.

[Kalila]

I do that too.

[Esther Povitsky]

But it just, like, I can't. I don't know, I can't help myself.

[Brooke]

Sometimes in the moment, you just want to impress him. And saying you went to med school is a really good way to do that. I think that's sweet. I think it shows that you're thoughtful.

[Esther Povitsky]

You're right.

[Kyla]

Kyla, do you think Esther would make a good housewife?

[Kalila]

Yes.

[Brooke]

You guys both do.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah, I think so, too.

[Brooke]

Why? I am a good one. But why say why?

[Kyla]

Because you're not passive aggressive. And you would probably make everybody, like, you tell it like it is, which I think is good for those shows.

[Brooke]

That's a really good compliment.

[Esther Povitsky]

I feel like you could tell somebody, like, what's wrong with them. Like, without offending them, I feel like you're very gentle.

[Kalila]

By the way, I also to that. That I want to announce that my codependent people pleasing era is officially dead. And really, Yay.

[Esther Povitsky]

What?

[Kalila]

I don't have an ounce of giving a fudge anymore.

[Esther Povitsky]

Like, I really sense some of that this way.

[Kalila]

Really? I will. It's. It's. I. Give me confrontation. I will fucking fight you to your face.

[Brooke]

Wait.

[Kalila]

I love that with my whole chest. I will say it in the moment too. I won't wait till next Monday to say it.

[Brooke]

I'm so scared. I'm scared.

[Esther Povitsky]

I'm scared. No, I think that's amazing.

[Kalila]

I'm so exhausted.

[Esther Povitsky]

Someone's gotta do it.

[Kalila]

2020, January 2025 has like broken me down so much. Where it's like, come for me, please.

[Brooke]

I've had. I have noticed this month, like, you'll actually end the phone calls. You'll be like, I gotta go. Oh, yeah, you've done it a few times. I'm like, okay. I'm like, I it. She's really asserting her needs with no reasons, right?

[Kalila]

Why I'm hanging out. I gotta go out.

[Brooke]

You don't need that. Like, yeah, that's good. Like, go be free of.

[Esther Povitsky]

Create boundaries.

[Kalila]

Do you want some of this energy?

[Esther Povitsky]

I want it so badly.

[Brooke]

Are you not like that?

[Esther Povitsky]

No.

[Brooke]

Interesting.

[Esther Povitsky]

I'm not. I want to be like, actually, I should. I am like that sometimes. But then later I'll be like, oh my God, like, I can't believe I said that. Or I'm just so hyper aware of everything that I say and I regret everything all the time. I'll be like. Or I'll think like, oh my God, I don't care. Like, I'll go on my podcast and like, you know, be like, this person sucks. And then it comes out and I'm like, oh, my God, I cannot believe I even had that energy at all. Like, I regret it so much.

[Kalila]

No, we can still have regret and guilt. Okay, but you just do the action anyway, right? You still set the boundary. So the whole thing, my, like, I will still say no. I will still hang up the phone. I will attack anyone at this point. But will I regret it and feel guilt? Probably. But I will continue with the attack regardless. Like, I am not going to not attack.

[Esther Povitsky]

That's good. That's like a happy. Yeah, medium.

[Brooke]

I wouldn't have used the H word, but I hear what you're saying.

[Esther Povitsky]

Do you guys think that, like, the worst of the year is over? Like, obviously January was Just like, such a nightmare. Do you think it's like, okay, it's all up from here?

[Brooke]

Hell no.

[Esther Povitsky]

Or do you think that was, like, setting the tone?

[Kalila]

Remember 2020, when two things happened again. Raging fires. I think it was a Thomas fire. And then Kobe died. And then we were like, 20.

[Esther Povitsky]

January 2020 was like, something else tragic happened in 2020.

[Kalila]

Exactly. Soon after, we were like, this has to be the worst of. Of the year. And then covet.

[Esther Povitsky]

Oh, okay. I thought you were gonna leave covet out with my queen.

[Brooke]

Oh, yeah. We don't believe in it on the show. I just want to say I was literally the day Kobe died, I was sitting there doing a puzzle with my family, and everyone was like, this is so sad. I'm like, they don't even know what's coming. I'm like, this is nothing.

[Kalila]

No, you were deep into Esther 20. 20. 2019 summer. Esther was already researching Covid Summer. She was already like, there's this thing going around.

[Esther Povitsky]

Really?

[Brooke]

You were like, I've just. I have such bad anxiety and, like, health anxiety that I. Which I'm. I've always had my ear to the ground, like, to be ready for the pandemic when it comes. And, like, I knew this was going to be a big one. Now, you could say a broken clock is right twice a day, and that's what happened this time. But I. I was definitely. Kobe was not big on my list. And I know that's insensitive to say, but I was just really scared.

[Kalila]

I love Filipino humor. Somebody named 2020. Somebody named their baby. A Filipino person from the Philippines named their baby Covid Bryant in honor of the pandemic and Kobe's death.

[Esther Povitsky]

In honor.

[Kalila]

In honor. Isn't that so? Only second to Cinderella, but I was like, oh, the kind of genius.

[Brooke]

Wait, I have a question. Okay. So you know how when low rise jeans came back, a lot of people, especially, like, our era, were like, no, we can't do this. Like, you, like, these are the worst. This is the worst trend. It's for skinny people. Blah, blah, blah. And I was like, no, I love low rise jeans. Like, off. Like, this reminds me of the best time of my life, reading Us Weekly, like, seeing what Paris Hilton was up to, trying Pinkberry for the first time. And now I feel like my turn to. To run and hide is coming, and I cannot deal with it. And I want you guys to tell me it's not real, but people are saying that skinny jeans are coming back.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah, they are. What? You know who did this? You know who did this? Alex.

[Brooke]

What? Yeah, I was hoping you were gonna say, like, I've never even heard of this, you crazy monster.

[Esther Povitsky]

No, it's huge. It's huge. Alex Earl.

[Kyla]

You're right. And she's skin. She's a good skinny jean person.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah. She's just built like someone who can wear skinny jeans. I have the airpod problem, obviously, so I have to, like, offset that by wearing, like, the biggest pants I can.

[Brooke]

Find, and I'm sure and have, like, thicker thighs, like, skinny jeans. It's a no. It was a no then. It's a no now.

[Kalila]

This is not a knock to Alex Earl, but I do think that she isn't necessarily, to me, like, she is a trendsetter, but not a fashion icon.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah, see, I just. Yeah, that's the thing. I don't care if she's a fashion icon. I just want to do everything that she does.

[Brooke]

Right. Yeah.

[Esther Povitsky]

Because I just. I don't know. I'm a. Well, first of all, I'm a follower. I want to do whatever everybody else is doing.

[Brooke]

I. I have that, too. To be clear. I have that, too, but I can't get with skin.

[Esther Povitsky]

Skinny jeans. I was so excited when baggy jeans started happening. I was like, oh, my God.

[Kalila]

I'm not that upset. I look amazing in skinny jeans. I'm sorry, guys. And I'm tall. I'm five eight. And. Whoa, you. I mean. I mean, the body has changed since the last time skinny jeans were, you know, on. But we'll see. We'll. We'll try to. I will take a picture. I will get into one tonight and show you.

[Brooke]

I just. I think they're so off.

[Kalila]

But you never wore them, Esther.

[Brooke]

I. I tried. Like, when. I remember when it was, like, happening the transition where all the. If, like, you couldn't wear flares anymore. Like, I definitely remember it, and I was trying, and it just. It. I always looked bad. It always was, like, yucky.

[Esther Povitsky]

Maybe it's a you thing, though. Like, sometimes it's like, only you think.

[Brooke]

It looks bad, but I just think.

[Esther Povitsky]

Because you're not used to it.

[Brooke]

Thicker thighs.

[Esther Povitsky]

Like, no, you want thicker thighs. No one wants to see some chicken legs.

[Kalila]

She's right.

[Esther Povitsky]

I. Like, that's all. I. I go to the gym every day and I say, thick thighs.

[Kalila]

Can we get a. A gains update?

[Esther Povitsky]

There's. Well, there haven't been any gains, but there's maximal effort. Like, I've been really trying.

[Kalila]

I've been seeing.

[Brooke]

Same great form, by the way.

[Esther Povitsky]

That's not what the People in my DM say, I'm not kidding. That' frustrating thing ever. Because first of all, I'm already like, anxious about posting my workout content. And for some reason, it's an invitation for every single person on the planet to tell me that I'm doing it wrong. And I want to be like, you're gonna make me never go again. So thank you for saying that.

[Kalila]

No, I think I. I thought it was ass to grass. You did a great job. You weren't. Your knees weren't over your toes.

[Esther Povitsky]

Thank you. I've been trying so hard. I'm like, really like, lifting too. So I. I want to again. I want the thick thighs.

[Brooke]

You were here last time. You said, you're like, my new workout regimen starts tomorrow. And I was like, okay. And then I feel like, fired you by laughing at you. And now you're like, going so hard.

[Esther Povitsky]

It was all you. It was. It was all you. In fact, I have Pilates at 3 today. I'm going. I've done every single day. Tomorrow I have 7am Wait, are you.

[Brooke]

Doing Pilates at the Aloe Gym? I am. Are you doing it with Laura Quinn?

[Esther Povitsky]

Yes.

[Brooke]

Okay. Do you know she's a. She's my old ballet teacher. Wait, she teaches ballet?

[Kalila]

Wait.

[Brooke]

Yeah.

[Esther Povitsky]

Okay, so that means I'm not actually going to ballet with you because she's like a very serious. Like I was thinking maybe you were like a. Just like a bat. Like, you just liked ballet, you know?

[Brooke]

No, she's not the classic. I don't think she teaches ballet anymore. I think she's fully at alo. But you should talk to her about ballet.

[Esther Povitsky]

She does. Well, she's very like. You can tell she's a ballerina and how she, like, does Pilates.

[Brooke]

Yeah.

[Esther Povitsky]

So she always wants the dancers to come to her.

[Brooke]

Yeah, but she.

[Esther Povitsky]

I definitely don't think she even thinks I'm a dancer because you better show.

[Brooke]

Her that you are. You better do a pirouette today.

[Esther Povitsky]

Today I'm going to. Will you come to ballet with us?

[Brooke]

I would love to see you in ballet class. Because I. And I mean this with love.

[Kalila]

You want to see me suck at something?

[Brooke]

How'd you know?

[Kalila]

Because I know your little. My sweetest little pee.

[Brooke]

I want to see you be bad at something. You've never been bad at anything.

[Kalila]

I'm so bad at too many things.

[Brooke]

No, you're like so good at everything. It would actually be like an out of body experience to watch you struggle.

[Esther Povitsky]

Wait, are you really. Are you, like, athletic?

[Kalila]

I am athletic. But I am also sucks for you. I am hyper flexible.

[Esther Povitsky]

Oh, no, wait.

[Kalila]

I know why. Because my. We have. Well, my sister. We don't know if she has a Daniels, but I hi. Hypermobile limbs.

[Esther Povitsky]

So, like, what does that mean? I have that.

[Kalila]

I think you do too. I think you can usually tell if, like, yours all the way back. Yeah.

[Esther Povitsky]

Oh, but then I have that.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah, same. So you have alert. It's not a good thing.

[Brooke]

Do me.

[Esther Povitsky]

Oh, no, that's. That's. That's an unsettlingly straight thumb.

[Kalila]

Oh, my God. That's the straightest thumb. Stop right away.

[Esther Povitsky]

Mine's. I only have, like, one crazy one, though. And then this one's, like, kind of straight. Well, now that I think about it.

[Kalila]

Well, it's not a good thing because down the road we could have, like, connective tissue problems. There's this thing called, like, Aylor Danlos. It's like an autoimmune thing.

[Esther Povitsky]

I don't believe in it.

[Kalila]

Violet.

[Kyla]

They say when you have that, though, you're a good dancer. So you must be a good dancer.

[Kalila]

You would think that because I am Filipino. Yeah, we. Everyone can, you know, is a triple threat back home.

[Esther Povitsky]

Oh, yeah. Can you sing?

[Kalila]

I. Number one. I cannot sing. Great. At carry. Very fun. At karaoke.

[Brooke]

Very fun.

[Kalila]

Not. Not a great singer. A very mediocre dancer. And I just. I'm letting my whole country down.

[Brooke]

You know what? I bet you would be, though, the kind of person that, like, pisses me off the most because I spent, like, 20 years training professionally to. To be a dancer. You'd be someone that, like, in 10 minutes can do everything I can do, like, with 10 minutes of effort.

[Kalila]

But that's just because you have the athlete's mindset of. I will not quit and I will study this until I nail it. Yes, but that's the only reason why. But to have, like, natural rhythm. Probably not. But I will pretend, you know, I'll get there eventually. I'll fake it.

[Esther Povitsky]

That's what I did the whole time. Just fake.

[Kalila]

I've seen you dance now.

[Esther Povitsky]

I have no. I have no rhythm. I can. I can. Like, if somebody tells me what to do, I can do it. But I, like, there's no. You will not see me, like, freestyling at the club. Like, I'm not. I'm not moving on my own. There's not. There's not so much as a fucking.

[Kalila]

When is the last time you went full out? Like, all out, just full abandoned dancing at a club?

[Esther Povitsky]

It's never happened.

[Kalila]

What?

[Esther Povitsky]

I, I. It's so. I'm. No, I can't. Like, it's not even like I want to. I would love to, but it would. It would be, like, it would just be scary.

[Brooke]

What about at a wedding?

[Esther Povitsky]

Maybe I've done. What? Maybe I've done a wedding, but only because I black out so bad at every wedding. Like, I'm the worst wedding guest ever. Like, do not invite me to your wedding. I'm gonna ruin it.

[Kyla]

It kind of sounds like you'd be great.

[Kalila]

Yeah, it sounds like you're the perfect guest.

[Esther Povitsky]

I don't know.

[Kalila]

It always has to be one really messy person at a wedding, or else it's not a good wedding.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah, that's the worst anxiety.

[Brooke]

This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. So, Jenna, you are. You have a business.

[E]

I'm just so surprised, because Squarespace. I use Squarespace.

[Brooke]

I know you do.

[Esther Povitsky]

I've never tried it, and I need.

[Kalila]

To build a website. So tell me, tell me, tell me.

[E]

Squarespace is absolutely the best. They have people who help you. If you email them, they have a chat, and it makes you run your website. It's how I run by T agena.

[Brooke]

I know this is crazy.

[E]

And I just recently added the ability to pay with credit cards. I thought I had to pay more to get that. You don't do.

[Kalila]

They help you with the graphics and stuff and, like, the design.

[Brooke]

They do everything.

[E]

You build the whole website and what's cool.

[Brooke]

Squarespace now can help you with custom merch. It helps you.

[Esther Povitsky]

It.

[Brooke]

As Jenna said, your online store. Like, if you're starting a business, Squarespace is the place to go.

[E]

I even get the labels there. I used to go somewhere else to get the labels. They make it so easy that everything is in house. You just click on the orders, bam, print it, and then they notify the people that they're.

[Brooke]

You could also do, like, host videos on your website with Squarespace. So if you're, like, having your acting website, whatever it is, like, you can put your reel up there. Squarespace does everything. And you can head to squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to Launch, go to squarespace.com trash Tuesday to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. If you like slot machines. But maybe you don't want to leave your bed, which is something that I think we can all relate to. We're talking about DraftKings today. So it's a thing where you can.

[Kalila]

Do it from your.

[Brooke]

Your phone or your computer, literally. Yes.

[Esther Povitsky]

Wow.

[Brooke]

Also, DraftKings Casino has classics that you can play. So if you've never it's like an online casino. Exactly.

[Kalila]

That is so cool.

[E]

Crazy. You can go Cha Ching from your bed.

[Kalila]

I need to go gamble and make some money. I really do.

[Brooke]

Plus, new players that give DraftKings Casino a spin can get 200 casino spins on a featured game. Just sign up with Code Trash Tuesday and wager a minimum of $5 to receive 200 casino spins on a featured game. Game only on DraftKings Casino. The crown is yours. Gambling problem. Call 100 Gambler in Connecticut. Help is available for problem gambling. Call 888-789-7-7777 or visit ccpg.org Please play responsibly. 21/physically present Michigan, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, West Virginia only. Void in Connecticut and Ontario eligibility restrictions apply. New customers only. Non withdrawable casino spins Valid for featured game only. An expired 168 hours. See [e-mail] promos ends March 16, 2025 at 11:59pm Eastern Time. We're talking about Helix.

[E]

I have a Helix bed.

[Brooke]

So do I.

[E]

It's the best bed and they have so many different options where you can tailor it to yourself.

[Kalila]

Is it like Tempur Pedic?

[E]

It's like a hybrid. They have combinations of different things based off what your needs are. It's not like too springy. It's not just memory foam. It really feels like what an old mattress should be.

[Brooke]

Since I got my Oura ring, I've been tracking my sleep and with my Helix mattress, Chef's Kiss. I love my Helix mattress. I definitely recommend them and I like how you can really find one that's right for you. They ship to your door. You don't have to like waste time going to those weird mattress stores.

[E]

No, I genuinely think they're the best and that's the only mattress I could recommend.

[Brooke]

So you can go to helixsleep.com trashtuesday that's helixsleep.com Trash Tuesday for the President's Day sale and this offer for 27 off site wide plus two free dream pillows with mattress purchase, plus free bedding bundle, which is two dream pillows, a sheet set and a mattress protector with any luxe or elite mattress order. So go to helixleep.com Trash Tuesday I want to go back to you not believing in things because I feel like I really would like to adopt some of this. But I am curious, were you kind of like the kind of person that didn't believe in Covid, I believed in.

[Esther Povitsky]

It, but I, for some reason believed that I personally was immune and, like. And there was just simply no way that it could get me.

[Brooke]

But that was probably right. Like, I feel like I was too afraid of it.

[Esther Povitsky]

I got it a few times. Honestly, I'm. I'm really a changed woman because last week I got norovirus. I got it too, girl. You guys, I. My pants. I'm like, I don't know why I can't help but share that with everybody that I see, but I had it. Like, I've never experienced.

[Kalila]

You've never shit your pants before?

[Esther Povitsky]

Oh, no, I've shit my pants shots type of girl.

[Kalila]

You've definitely your pants.

[Esther Povitsky]

But first of all, I shit my pants at home, which is just, like, embarrassing because it's like, like, what was the reason? But also, like, it was. It changed me. I could not believe it. And like, you know, I've had food poisoning before where it's like, you know, it's really uncomfortable, but it's like, like.

[Brooke]

Did you have a high fever?

[Esther Povitsky]

I didn't. I. Well, probably I wasn't checking my temperature, but I was so violently throwing up and, you know, myself, it was horrible.

[Brooke]

I was like. Had the chills, couldn't get out of bed, by the way, I had norovirus when I was shooting a movie in Chicago. I tell Kalila. I go, I'm not, because I wasn't here because I was sick. I go tell the audience, like, you know, make. Make me look okay. You know, say, Esther was shooting a movie.

[Esther Povitsky]

She got.

[Brooke]

I turn on the episode she records. She goes, esther has the poo poos. And then I go, surely the second episode without me, she'll say what I asked her to say. Esther still has the shits. I'm like, you fucking.

[Kalila]

And now she's dead. She died from the shits.

[Brooke]

I literally told you what to say.

[Kalila]

I did say you were filming, but like, three quarters of the way. Okay. I just didn't open with it.

[Brooke]

I was like, I really want my Nora virus story to be really glamorous storyline.

[Kalila]

And by the way, I'm surprised you didn't have the shits. You only threw up.

[Esther Povitsky]

Wait.

[Brooke]

Yeah.

[Esther Povitsky]

It's not norovirus. I don't believe you.

[Brooke]

Okay. I would have thought the same, but I had the high fever. I was like, so nauseous and weak. Threw up like six times.

[Esther Povitsky]

Oh, six. Not norovirus.

[Brooke]

Are you kidding?

[Kalila]

But that's what I told you. Noro is double dragon. You have to be on your on all fours, coming out both ends.

[Esther Povitsky]

I would have had an ambulance pick me up if I could have gotten from the toilet to the ambulance. What was.

[Brooke]

What was happening to you? How.

[Esther Povitsky]

How dare you. I was so abrupt. Like, I was. I was literally mini golfing, and I was, like, not feeling so good. Go to the bathroom, projectile. And then I get in the car to go home. My boyfriend's driving. I throw up all in my lap, all out the window. It's like, all over my car. I'm like, first of all, the drive is, like 10 minutes long. I threw up the whole way, got home, threw up, threw up. Started myself. And it, like, it just never stopped. I was so miserable. Oh, my God.

[Brooke]

How many days were you sick?

[Esther Povitsky]

I was. There was 12 hours where I thought, like, I'm definitely never gonna see another day. And then I got. I had someone come give me an IV with Zofran and, like, everything else they can give you. And I was fine for four hours. And then I woke up and it happened all over again. It was so miserable. It was, like, three days before I could like, even, like, I could think straight because I was. I couldn't believe that. That it was so, like, I. Like what just happened.

[Brooke]

It was. Now I make. I'm questioning it, but I do believe I had it because I was the sickest I've ever been. And for me, for a whole week, I was, like, weak and tired in a way I've never been before.

[Esther Povitsky]

Was like, yeah, I did have that. Maybe you can get. Maybe there's levels to it. Because, like, I don't know. I was getting frustrated because my boyfriend was, like. In the beginning, when it first started, he was like. Like, no, it's not food poisoning. Because when I had food poisoning, like, I was way sicker, and it would piss. It was pissing me off so bad because I'm like, why won't you let me have this? I just threw up on my. On myself in the car.

[Brooke]

This is like when I was giving birth and my husband kept being like, people say kidney stones are worse than giving birth. And I had that. Well, true. You don't get an epidural when you have kidney stones. You should also. When I had it, like, I was. So I was in Chicago, and it happened to be the coldest day in Chicago in, like, a hundred years. And I had to keep going in and out for work, and I. So I was, like, having the chills, but I didn't know what was, like, the cold and what was the norovirus. But it was. It was rough. Yeah, it was glamorous. Okay.

[Esther Povitsky]

Mine was anything but glamorous. And I was in Arizona, which you would think would be warm, but it was a freeze warning in Arizona, so It was, like, 20 degrees, which probably wasn't as bad as Chicago, but the heater in the house that I was staying at, like, it probably worked, but it was so, like, it was tile. Like, vaulted ceilings. I was so miserable, I was shaking. I'm surprised I didn't just die.

[Brooke]

I did hear from an infectious disease doctor that this year's norovirus is, like, particularly a bad strain, and it's gonna.

[Esther Povitsky]

Get you next for saying that she has the poo poos.

[Kyla]

Did it bring you and your boyfriend closer together seeing you like that?

[Esther Povitsky]

Like, I would hope so. But honestly, the whole time I was thinking, like, I cannot believe, like, if he stays with me after this, like, amazing guy, but thankfully, he's gonna hate that I'm sharing this. Like, because I. Obviously, I shit myself. And I immediately went. Woke him up and I said, I just shit myself.

[Kalila]

You have to announce it. I feel like it. That's the first thing you.

[Esther Povitsky]

If I. If I didn't tell him, I wouldn't be an honest girlfriend. And so it's so much worse if.

[Brooke]

You try to hide it.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah, well, for sure. And I was. Initially, I was like, what am I gonna do? But then I was like, you know what? Fuck it. But all my friends were like, oh, my God, and he still likes you. I go, luckily, thankfully, he shit himself like, a month earlier because he had food poisoning. So he's gonna love that.

[Brooke]

I shared that.

[Kyla]

Everybody does it, you know?

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah, but it's like, I. I got to see him himself first. Well, not see it, but.

[Brooke]

I talked about this in my first special. But I sh. Myself at Cold Stone, senior year of high school, and I. I was wearing a skirt, remember? And I thr. I had to throw. Throw my underwear away at Mangiano's. And then the next day, I went to school and I did what you did. I told everyone because I didn't want to hide it. That just felt so much scarier.

[Kalila]

But what.

[Brooke]

What.

[Kalila]

Why did you shit yourself? Did it just come out of nowhere?

[Brooke]

It really was an out of nowhere experience.

[Kalila]

Me too. It really strikes you at the least.

[Brooke]

You don't know what's coming.

[Kalila]

You don't know why Vermont Canyon tennis courts is where a rogue meatball just flew out.

[Esther Povitsky]

It was a meatball. It was solid, and you shit yourself smaller.

[Kalila]

Like, kind of like a mini Albondiga.

[Brooke]

You do not hear about solid. Yeah, yeah.

[Esther Povitsky]

Shitting yourself is for sure. Supposed to be like.

[Kalila]

It was the weirdest, hardest, roundest.

[Brooke]

The way you're holding the banana. Little who?

[Kalila]

And I don't even play tennis, but this is the one day where I was like, maybe I'll just buy a racket from Big 5 and learn. Went to.

[Esther Povitsky]

You were like, really?

[Kalila]

Like, I hadn't even started.

[Esther Povitsky]

Oh.

[Kalila]

I was walking from my car to the courts and I was like, what is that weight I'm feeling down there? And I go to the restroom, pull my panties down, and the hardest ball just rolled out, rolled, rolled out into the floor. I was like, what is that? It was like a pebble.

[Brooke]

Were you with Bobby?

[Kalila]

No, no, no. I was with my best friend Jessica, who's like the most notorious, like, public shitter. She's even worse than me. She shits herself in traffic.

[Esther Povitsky]

I think it's probably really a lot more common than we think, but I think we just have like, whatever it is, whatever mental illness it is that we like, we have to say, yeah, I myself and I love that.

[Brooke]

And that's beautiful. The world needs us.

[Kyla]

Can I ask a follow up question about the cold stone? Did it come down in cold stones.

[Esther Povitsky]

Or like the poo?

[Brooke]

It was. I was in line, but.

[Kalila]

But it was.

[Kyla]

Did it come down your out?

[Brooke]

No, it all stayed maintained in my limited to underwear.

[Esther Povitsky]

Okay. That's lucky.

[Brooke]

Thank God.

[Kyla]

That's a great ad for them. Honestly.

[Esther Povitsky]

It could have been though. Like, I feel like that's the one place you could pretty easily cover it up.

[Brooke]

A cold stone.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah. I would get chocolate immediately and I would just. Oh, no, no.

[Brooke]

My chocolate syrup is streaming down my leg. Please do that. Wait, that's such a scene in a movie.

[Esther Povitsky]

No, it really is. Because where else, like, I don't know, would. Would there be like liquid brown anything?

[Brooke]

I just picture you shitting yourself and running into an ice cream shop really fast.

[Esther Povitsky]

That's resourceful. That's what it is.

[Kalila]

Oh, isn't that what they do at in cruise ships where they'll add a tiny bit of laxative to all of the food because they don't want to. The clogs. I mean, they don't want the pipes to be clogged on the ship.

[Brooke]

Is that true?

[Kalila]

So they need everyone to shits off. That's a rumor.

[Brooke]

I heard.

[Esther Povitsky]

If that's true. That's amazing.

[Kalila]

We should all go on a cruise and get really skinny.

[Esther Povitsky]

I would love to go on a cruise. Have you guys Ever been on a cruise?

[Brooke]

I went on one in high school school, and we all went to go see my dance teacher who got hired as a cruise ship dancer. And it was so fun, but the cruise ship experience itself was so janky. And I remember, like, this one, because it was a bunch of us and our moms and this one really rich girl that came with us because we flew to Florida to get on the ship. And then one of the girls had a door, a note on her door that was like, this is not going to work for us. And they flew back to Chicago because it was so shitty. And I was like, that's so badass. Meanwhile, me and my mom were like, holy.

[Esther Povitsky]

A cruise. I feel like I would get. I would be the person who gets so seasick and just ruins everybody's time.

[Brooke]

We would do well together. Ruining things for people.

[Esther Povitsky]

I think so, too. I think it would be fun for us three to go on a cruise together, to be honest. We could go on a Disney cruise and you could pass for.

[Brooke]

For everyone's kids. Yeah, I'm down.

[Kalila]

I. There's something about being. I love being at sea. I'm an ocean person. But to be stuck at sea with. With people that a good chance I probably don't like is really. The idea makes me sweat profusely.

[Brooke]

Just so you don't like us.

[Kalila]

No, no, no. Not.

[Esther Povitsky]

You don't want to come with us.

[Kalila]

I mean, like, have you ever. Have you. You've been on a cruise. The. The quarters are small. They're tight. If there's any type of drama between the three of us, it's over. Someone's getting thrown overboard.

[Brooke]

Well. And I know it's me, so I'll accept that fate.

[Esther Povitsky]

Today I've been working out, so you can't take me, probably.

[Brooke]

What is your deal with how hard you're working out? We need to go back to this, because I'm so intimidated. I'm so, like, jealous. Fomo. Like, what has gone into you? Have you always been this way?

[Esther Povitsky]

No. Well, remember I told you I really. I feel confident that one day I'm gonna go on the challenge, and if, like, what if they call tomorrow? Like, they haven't. There's no talks of me being on the challenge, but, like, if they were to call and say, like, oh, we're leaving in a month, I have to be ready.

[Kalila]

That is a winner's mentality, and I'll tell you why. Some of the greatest upsets in UFC history have been because somebody falls out the week, like, fight week, and A person like Brooke, a fighter like Brooke is like, I'll step in on a day's notice. And that fighter who they're up against has now strategized for their entire fight camp to fight one type of fighter. This guy's a completely different style. And that guy knocks him out.

[Brooke]

That's cool. Wow.

[Esther Povitsky]

I'm gonna be ready to fight.

[Kalila]

You're just ready to fight. I really respect that.

[Brooke]

Thank you.

[Esther Povitsky]

And also, it makes you happy. I hate, like, you know, people always say, like, eating healthy and, like, working out makes you happier. And I rejected that for so long because I was like, there's just no way. And then I found out it's like, it's real.

[Brooke]

Wait, how. What have you been eating? Are you cooking or what are you doing?

[Esther Povitsky]

I'm not cooking, but my boyfriend cooks, like, just so amazingly, like, every single day. So I just. I'll be on Instagram reels because I don't have tick tock anymore. That's an advancement in 2025. No more tick tock.

[Kalila]

Oh, really?

[Esther Povitsky]

That's why I'm glowing.

[Brooke]

Why are you. Wait, why are you sticking with that?

[Esther Povitsky]

I didn't mean to. I deleted the app because I'm an idiot.

[Brooke]

And you can't get it back.

[Esther Povitsky]

I can't get it back.

[Kalila]

Wow. How quickly did you delete it after it went down?

[Esther Povitsky]

I know I saw someone say, like, they were at their lowest, and you just did my or abandoned them, but I just kept opening it. I was opening it over and over and over again. So I was like, oh, my gosh. Let me just delete this. I'll redownload it when it comes back.

[Brooke]

And it's not available.

[Esther Povitsky]

It's not available.

[Brooke]

Wait, that's insane.

[Esther Povitsky]

So, yeah, I go on Instagram reels, which is where all the recipes are, and I just send them.

[Brooke]

That's true.

[Esther Povitsky]

And then I'll make it.

[Brooke]

Well, you also mentioned that you have a lot of hobbies. Like, you're really busy now. What are your. What's going on?

[Esther Povitsky]

No, no, no. That was. I just.

[Brooke]

That you just didn't want to see me.

[Esther Povitsky]

No, I'm so excited to see you. But now that I found out that you're an actual, like, well trained ballerina, I'm not going to ballet with you.

[Brooke]

You have have to go.

[Esther Povitsky]

No, we can do something more like a happy medium. Maybe we go to, like, a contemporary. Oh, Zumba.

[Brooke]

No, we can't. I'll contemp. But it's so hard to. Are you good at picking up moves? Like, learning the combos. That's my weakness.

[Esther Povitsky]

Like, no, but I'll take an Adderall. An Aderall fixes everything. I already. Like, last time I said I abused. I didn't say I abused Gabapentin, but people thought that. And so I'm not abusing Adderall, by the way.

[Kalila]

Yeah, that's right. Are we still on the Gabapentin?

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah, for sure.

[Kalila]

Yeah. Sometimes you need it.

[Esther Povitsky]

And now my cats are on it, too.

[Brooke]

Oh, yeah, I've heard animals.

[Kalila]

My dog's on it. My senior dog, Grammy. Yeah. He's been on Gabapentin for over a year.

[Esther Povitsky]

I swear by. It works for everybody.

[Kalila]

Even my blind and deaf dog.

[Esther Povitsky]

He must be so at peace being blind and deaf.

[Kalila]

Yeah. You know, I have a. A nephew who is. Is deaf, but he has a cochlear implant, and when he just wants. He doesn't want to hear you or his parents or anyone, he's just like. And he.

[Esther Povitsky]

That's amazing.

[Kalila]

Turns it off, and he is, like, happy as can be.

[Brooke]

I have to be honest. Like, the hot girl researcher in me is coming out right now, and I need more information from you.

[Esther Povitsky]

Oh.

[Brooke]

Like, I need to know what you're eating. I need to know what your. Your face. Like, I saw you visited your injector yesterday.

[Esther Povitsky]

I did. I was just telling her I got, like, Botox every part of my face. I did have to give up filler because I had an incident. And by incident, I just mean I, like, really, like, took it too far, and I was looking a mess.

[Kalila]

Where? What part?

[Esther Povitsky]

Everywhere. My lips, my cheeks. I'm pretty sure. Well, actually, I asked for temple filler yesterday, and she was like, no, it.

[Brooke]

Looks like you have that already.

[Esther Povitsky]

Well, it's funny you say that. I got her to do it. No, I got her to give me. It's like sculpture, so it's not like it makes you, like, build collagen by yourself. But I did that. I did Botox in my forehead, in my eyes, in my chin, which I didn't know I need that. I made the mistake of going to her and saying, like, can you look at me and tell me what I need? Which is, like, something you just told me.

[Brooke]

I've done that.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah, she told me my. My head was getting a little thick up here, and I love her so much, and she's honest with me, and I really respect that, but I was like, I've not, like, definitely wasn't worried about that.

[Brooke]

I went once as a joke to a plastic surgeon and Was like, what should I do? And he's like, well, you need a chin implant. That's the first thing. Give me a long list.

[Kalila]

No, that's exactly what happened to me last year. So Zhao Ying Summers. Yeah, he's a, A stand up. He's great. She posts tick tocks with her doctor who does her injector, basically. And so I was like, oh, maybe I should do a consult with this guy. And she was like, oh, he's great. Do that. So I did and was actually at our old studio. So I facetimed this doctor and I was like, oh, where do you think I should. I can afford to get it done. And he was just like, deep plain facelift is what he told me. And I was like, oh, that's not actually, like, I. That's not in the realm of what I thought. I was thinking maybe a filler here. And he was like, no, the plain facelift. And I, I drove home, like, in silence.

[Brooke]

Yeah, that's not, that's absurd. But I will say it does feel like facelifts are having a moment.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah. It's because Lindsay Lohan popped out looking so good.

[Brooke]

Oh, and Christina Aguilera.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah. See all. They must have all, like, I don't want to accuse anyone, but, like, they have to have all gone to the same person. They look phenomenal.

[Brooke]

Yeah, it's really bumming me out. Like, I just. I don't know because I'm like, I don't want to ever do anything, but at the same time, like, when, when I'm crossing the rainbow bridge, like, I don't know what will come over me and what I will do. And I'm scared.

[Esther Povitsky]

Well, people are right now mistaking you for under 13. I don't think you. I don't think you need a facelift or anything alike anytime soon.

[Brooke]

I'm gonna be like, can you make me look seven?

[Esther Povitsky]

I want to look seven.

[Brooke]

So wait, and what are you, like, what are you eating? Like, what's your breakfast, lunch and dinner?

[Esther Povitsky]

I eat every morning. I get La La Land. Like, the coffee that's like, really just dessert.

[Brooke]

What do you get there?

[Esther Povitsky]

I get. Today I got a strawberry shortcake matcha, and usually I get a s'mores latte. And it's so good. And it, like, makes you feel horrible because it's like, it does. It doesn't do the job. So then I have to have a Celsius. I drink a lot of Celsius and I have a specific koozie that fits a Celsius instead of, like, a beer and I bring it everywhere. And I'll eat, like, eggs and I'll eat like a breakfast sandwich or like something alike for breakfast and then lunch. I'll probably postmate something. I always post me, like, the same places, like, where we do a lot of, like, sandwiches or we get like. I'm trying to think. Oh, I get a lot of, like, kava. And because it has, like, just so many things in there and you're like, there's got to be something healthy in here. And then dinner. Just whatever I found on Instagram reels that day. It's usually like, last night we had vodka and yoki and chicken.

[Kyla]

I'm not eating a lot of greens.

[Esther Povitsky]

No, there's Nothing okay. Ever.

[Brooke]

Dr. Stella has interfered.

[Esther Povitsky]

Well, actually, I like beef and broccoli.

[Kyla]

Okay.

[Esther Povitsky]

From Trader Joe's, which is not good for you. But there's broccoli.

[Brooke]

Broccoli is good.

[Esther Povitsky]

I didn't eat a vegetable until I was, like, 18 years old. So I'm like, still, like, in the starter phase. I'm still dipping my feet in the water. I like broccolini and I like broccoli.

[Kalila]

Broccoli is a great starter vegetable. I feel. Right.

[Brooke]

Yeah.

[Esther Povitsky]

I feel like that's, like, pretty much the worst of it, so. Oh, I like carrots, too. I like vegetables.

[Brooke]

It's like, you try not to get canceled. You're like, I like all vegetables. I do.

[Esther Povitsky]

I like them all. That's exactly what just happened, by the way.

[Brooke]

I don't have a nanny, so my. I have to get home to send my husband to his doctor's appointment.

[Esther Povitsky]

If you ever need a nanny, I'm not kidding. So I.

[Brooke]

First of all, you're like a famous podcaster.

[Esther Povitsky]

No, I'm not. Not anymore. I don't have TikTok anymore. So that just freed up a lot of time for me, first of all. And second of all, your baby in particular is just the cutest baby I've ever seen. And I feel like I would tell anybody that sitting across from them, but, like, every time you post her, I'm like, that's. I want to show you. I can't believe it. That she's real.

[Brooke]

It's so funny. You should totally be my nanny. That would be hilarious.

[Esther Povitsky]

It was. I always think about, like, just getting a job. Like, I do, too. And how funny. Like, I know that because, you know, you said, like, sometimes, like, someone who, like, was on a Disney show or something will be working a regular job and people will, like, post them and make fun of them. And I'm like, we're making fun of someone for having a job.

[Kalila]

It's crazy.

[Esther Povitsky]

I would love to, like. Well, I mean, I guess I. I could and I don't. So maybe I wouldn't love to do it.

[Kalila]

But where. Where would it be? I already have my answer.

[Brooke]

Me too. Well, I know during the actor strike, I was like. I told Dave. I was like, I'm gonna get a job. I've always wanted to be a waitress at Swingers. And, like, the actors strike is happening. There's no work. And then I was pregnant, and I couldn't do it.

[Kalila]

But why Swingers, specifically?

[Brooke]

Because the waitresses, they're, like, so cool. And like, we. They're. They're, like, weird, cool, pretty. You know what I mean? Where it's like, you don't have to be, like, super, super. You don't have to look like Brooke. Like, you could look like me, and it'd be fine like that. And, like, they wear cute outfits. I don't know. It just felt cool.

[Esther Povitsky]

I get that. I feel like that's. I've actually never been to Swingers, so I don't know. But I. I went to topgolf and I was like, what a job. I would love to work at topgolf.

[Brooke]

That. I see that for you.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah, I've been go. I've been. I. First of all, I did mini golfing, like, three days in a row recently because I found out I was good at it. So I was like, obviously, I have to keep going. And now do you go with your boyfriend?

[Brooke]

Oh, that's cute.

[Esther Povitsky]

And I beat him. So is he a golfer? Talented? No. Well, yeah. Yes. He's so good. And I'm so much better than him.

[Kalila]

Is a really great choice for you.

[Brooke]

What about you?

[Kalila]

Trader Joe's.

[Brooke]

Why?

[Kalila]

Everyone seems really chill and happy there.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah. But I don't think. And I.

[Kalila]

Everyone's good looking.

[Esther Povitsky]

I hate the way that you're talking about yourselves. But at Trader Joe's, like, they. They. It's, like, required that you have conversations with people as they're checking out. You can't do it, and I would not enjoy that at all.

[Kalila]

Oh, then my backup is. Oh, swim instructor. Which I already did.

[Esther Povitsky]

Wait, I have a job for you. You know, Are you a good swimmer?

[Kalila]

I was, like, a D1 competitive swimmer.

[Esther Povitsky]

Oh, I have a serious job for you.

[Kalila]

Yes.

[Esther Povitsky]

I have to, obviously have to learn how to swim. They swim so much on the challenge.

[Brooke]

I don't know how to swim. You don't know how to Swim. Wait.

[Esther Povitsky]

I think we can make something out of this.

[Brooke]

Something is going on between us. We're both so helpless.

[Esther Povitsky]

I can swim, like, but if I were, like, caught in a riptide, I would die.

[Kalila]

You can't swim, then the idea of knowing how to swim means that it's not necessarily swimming laps is that you can float boat for an extended period of time and survive.

[Brooke]

What?

[Esther Povitsky]

Okay, yeah. Can't do that, so.

[Kalila]

Well, we. We will fix that.

[Esther Povitsky]

Paid gig. Swim lessons?

[Kalila]

Yes. Don't pay me, please. I'm happy. I'll pay you.

[Brooke]

In love.

[Esther Povitsky]

No. I think this could be really fun for us to do together.

[Brooke]

I'm so down. I need to learn. Like, she's. She's tried the basics with me, and it was just.

[Esther Povitsky]

Wait, so you can't swim at all?

[Brooke]

Well, you would know better than me.

[Kalila]

She can. She's better than she thinks she is. So she doesn't have a natural fear of the water. I think she has a fear of being seen in a swimsuit in the water.

[Brooke]

No, I'm scared of the. If I have a kickboard, I'm not scared. But if you took swimming, if you took.

[Kalila]

You're scared of the cold. You're scared of, like, the element.

[Brooke]

Yeah, that's. That's hard. Kyle.

[Kyla]

It took her like four attempts to plug her nose and go underwater, though, remember?

[Brooke]

Because she's scared. Forgetting things.

[Kalila]

I will start from the basics. I swear to you guys. I am your girl.

[Esther Povitsky]

Wait, I really. I'm so serious about this because, yeah, it's really like, big on all of these shows. Survive all of these that I want to go on. Swimming is required, and I want to.

[Brooke]

Be with someone else who doesn't know what they're doing. Yeah, that'll help.

[Kalila]

And I will teach you. Not necessarily. Like, we. No one's going to be Michael Phelps tomorrow, but we'll teach.

[Brooke]

Why is it bring him up. Why would you even bring him up in teaching us how to swim? The pressure.

[Kalila]

Why? Because I believe in you guys. I think you guys are both athletes.

[Esther Povitsky]

I think. Think I actually know that I would be a good swimmer because everybody in high school accused me of being a swimmer. Because that's my build. Because I have. I got the shoulders on me. So everyone's like, are you're either a swimmer or a softball player?

[Kalila]

Brooke, you are so petite.

[Esther Povitsky]

No, to be a swimmer, just know that I can get, like, if I lifted weights for like three days, I could be like, honestly, I want to.

[Kalila]

See Esther's like, Lats girl, though. Like, this. You know, the wings.

[Brooke]

Yeah. My back is just pure mush.

[Kalila]

It's just.

[Brooke]

There's no lines.

[Kalila]

Perfect for the water. Like, when you are. When you're too dense and you're too muscular, you tend to have more difficulty in the water.

[Brooke]

I can't even believe that you're serious that people can float. Like, is that real?

[Kalila]

You will absolutely float.

[Esther Povitsky]

No, have you seen where they throw the babies in the water? Wait, actually, let's just bring. Bring your daughter. She's probably at about the same level as that.

[Kalila]

They're so much easier to teach little kids. Babies, they. They get it in half an hour.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah, You. Like, they throw the babies in the water, and then they go. And the baby, like, turns over, and then they float.

[Brooke]

That is crazy.

[Esther Povitsky]

It's the thing. You got to look into it.

[Kalila]

Teaching adults, though, so hard. So hard. So this will be an uphill battle, but we will get through.

[Esther Povitsky]

I should say I have taken. So, like, I was. I was. I took swim lessons when I was younger, and I got up to shark level, which is, like, pretty high.

[Brooke]

Sounds really good, but I feel like.

[Esther Povitsky]

I've let some of that go.

[Kalila]

I now have dreams for all of us.

[Brooke]

Okay. Do we have a pool that we can use?

[Kalila]

We'll start in the pool. But I really. You said shark level. I really want to take you guys to go swim with sharks with me.

[Esther Povitsky]

Oh, I would do that. I would love to do that.

[Brooke]

That's crazy, both of you, because I.

[Kalila]

Really think it will change the way you, like, you have this idea or you this fear that you think they're this. They are scary. They can be. I dive a lot. Right. They sneak up behind you. It is scary, but in a controlled setting. They're just really cool, big fish, and I want you to experience that.

[Esther Povitsky]

I'm definitely not. Like, I would love to do that, and I love. I thought I was gonna be a SeaWorld trainer for, like. No. Like, it's like.

[Brooke]

You really are.

[Esther Povitsky]

You're laughing, but, like, I'm so serious.

[Brooke]

I believe you.

[Esther Povitsky]

My whole life, I was like, obviously, I'm gonna be a trainer at Sea World. And then some stupid idiot made blackfish. I'm kidding. But, like, it was. It really threw a wrench in my plans. And I had, like. I didn't even know what to do with myself for a while. And I was, like, 17 or something when that came out. And I was like, what do I do?

[Kalila]

Because you are the perfect candidate, because the only missing piece is the swimming part, because you could probably do all the acrobatic stuff.

[Esther Povitsky]

And I would love that. And it's like a performance. I was like, to me, the, like, the most famous you could possibly be would be for, like, someone I know to go to SeaWorld and me to be on, like, on an OR.

[Brooke]

That's where this was going.

[Esther Povitsky]

It was really about fan to have.

[Brooke]

Like, a star moment. Wait, but you didn't even grow up in Florida.

[Esther Povitsky]

No. Or. I grew up in Arizona. I didn't even.

[Brooke]

There was no water.

[Esther Povitsky]

I had hardly seen an orca, but I was so sure. And then when blackfish came out, I. I went as far as to look into the Navy marine mammal program where they, like, train dolphins to sniff out mines underwater.

[Brooke]

You're like, how else will I be seen and heard?

[Esther Povitsky]

No, I was like. I was so passionate at that point about, like, water, animal, or like, man. It was a whole thing.

[Brooke]

I definitely felt like being the princess at Disney World was like, yes, that was what I wanted.

[Esther Povitsky]

I could see you doing that. I feel like you're very gentle and you'd be good with the kids.

[Brooke]

I feel like I was. I was. I've been too short for most things I've wanted.

[Kalila]

Race car driver Danica Patrick, that's another thing you could have done and still should pursue. Oh, my God, I'm having an epiphany.

[Brooke]

But you're not like a star when you're a race car driver. You're, like, smashed in there. No one can see you.

[Esther Povitsky]

No, we saw Danica.

[Brooke]

Okay.

[Kalila]

You are not only a star, but everyone has seen you drive downstairs. You are the, like, Italian job. Like, you are it.

[Esther Povitsky]

Are you. Are you a fast driver?

[Brooke]

I drove downstairs on accident. It's not a good thing called the.

[Kalila]

Modern day Lewis Hamilton.

[Brooke]

I was in a parking lot and I thought it was an exit, but it was a on foot exit and it was literally a flight of stairs. And I was so humiliated because it's like you. If you are on a flight of stairs in your vehicle, you cannot. You don't go down, you can't go back. You're stuck.

[Kalila]

The fact that the first thing you did was try to reverse.

[Esther Povitsky]

Honestly, valid.

[Brooke]

It definitely crossed my mind. Like, I could just get out of the car and just walk away and never, like, never turn back. Like, that was the most obvious option to me because I was so embarrassed. And thank God, like, some random man was walking by and was like, oh, I can. I think I can help you. And he had like a. Like a pump or something to, like.

[Esther Povitsky]

Get one of those things that you.

[Kalila]

So kind, so smart. Oh, another thing. Sea biscuit. A horse jockey. Two jobs for her.

[Brooke]

I just watched the Christopher Reeves documentary. I am not getting on a horse ever again.

[Kalila]

You're. You are so limber. Your back could never break.

[Brooke]

Thank you.

[Kalila]

You would just fly off and roll and everything would be fine.

[Esther Povitsky]

Oh, my God, Esther, would you ever do, like. What about aerial silks? I feel like you would be really good. I would love to be, like, ballet.

[Brooke]

I love how we're, like, trying to think of things for us to get famous. Like, from the viewpoint of. Of like a five year old.

[Esther Povitsky]

No, but I'm thinking right now in my head is like, how could we make something out of this? Like, us trying new things.

[Brooke]

Oh, yeah.

[Kyla]

Brooke, can you ride a bike?

[Esther Povitsky]

I can ride a bike. Not well, but I can. I can. I can ride a bike.

[Brooke]

Must be nice.

[Esther Povitsky]

You can't ride a bike? No. Have you tried?

[Brooke]

Not in many years. I'm too embarrassed.

[Kalila]

We'll start with a tricycle.

[Brooke]

I could ride a tricycle.

[Esther Povitsky]

No, you could ride a bike. What about a lime scooter?

[Brooke]

Oh, no.

[Esther Povitsky]

It's really dangerous.

[Brooke]

I've always wondered, why can't adults just ride tricycles?

[Kalila]

Why not?

[Esther Povitsky]

They can, like.

[Brooke]

Wait, is that. No, I'm thinking of training wheels.

[Kalila]

That is a tricycle, basically.

[Brooke]

Like, I would ride that with, like, my family or my husband.

[Kyla]

I think probably because there'd be one person who would need it.

[Esther Povitsky]

It.

[Kyla]

Who is you.

[Brooke]

Yeah, I would. Do you think they sell them for adults? Really? I want for my birthday this year, mom and dad.

[Esther Povitsky]

Easily.

[Brooke]

Dear Santa, scratch the pony.

[Esther Povitsky]

I don't know. I think I told you guys I signed up for the American Ninja Gym.

[Brooke]

What's that?

[Esther Povitsky]

I didn't tell you?

[Kalila]

No.

[Esther Povitsky]

Oh, I signed up for American Ninja Gym, which is basically like, parkour.

[Kalila]

You're trying to be like a full stunt.

[Brooke]

What's going on?

[Kalila]

I don't.

[Esther Povitsky]

I think I just found out how, like, in case, like, I want to feel capable, you know? Like, you never know when you're gonna need. You probably could have used parkour when you drove down those stairs.

[Brooke]

That's for sure. That would have helped.

[Esther Povitsky]

And you just never know when you're gonna need parkour.

[Brooke]

What has, like, what came over you? Like, was there some inciting incident in your life that made you want to be stronger?

[Esther Povitsky]

Challenge. Well, just, like, seeing how, like, what everybody else can do. I'm like, why can't I do any of these?

[Brooke]

You're like, the one person that watches a. Like a Bad for Your brain reality show and turns it into, like, this healthy lifestyle.

[Esther Povitsky]

No, it could be worse. I could be watching, like, a. Like, naked and afraid, and now I'm like, a nudist. That would be.

[Kalila]

Wait, I. I have friends that go to this stunt school. I. I should introduce you.

[Esther Povitsky]

I think I would love that.

[Kalila]

I think they train all of, like, the John Wick people. Like, all of the. The cool stunt.

[Esther Povitsky]

I think we could do that. Can you tumble?

[Brooke]

No. I could somersault.

[Esther Povitsky]

That counts.

[Brooke]

Okay. I'd. I'd love to go to one of those bouncy places, though, where you can, like, jump around in a foam pile. Okay. That would be fun.

[Esther Povitsky]

I think there's a lot of things that we could all try together, I think. What are some. Let's talk about something you can't do. Why are we only talking about things we can't do?

[Kalila]

Name it. I don't know how to do it. I don't even know to push. When it says pull, you know, like, it.

[Brooke]

I am lamest, like, attempt at being someone that can't do things.

[Kalila]

Say something, then. Name something.

[Esther Povitsky]

Can you cook?

[Kalila]

Yes.

[Brooke]

Spear fish, Dive? Make a hair care line.

[Kalila]

You're right.

[Kyla]

I can't think of anything.

[Kalila]

You guys are crazy.

[Kyla]

I mean, it's pretty insane that you are such a good cook, too. It's so annoying.

[Brooke]

How do you know?

[Kyla]

Because everybody talks about what a good cook she is.

[Brooke]

I was gonna say if. I've never tried it.

[Kalila]

Well, you don't.

[Brooke]

Yeah, I was picky before.

[Kyla]

Jules has talked about it.

[Kalila]

Yeah. Yeah. I can cook for you guys. How about this for 20, 25? I'm gonna manifest it. We learn three new things. Things. But we have to teach each other how. So if it's a skill that I know, swimming, diving, you know how to gut a fish, say, for instance, I.

[Esther Povitsky]

Might need that for Survivor.

[Kalila]

You absolutely will. And I will pass on that knowledge to you.

[Brooke]

Okay. I can teach you ballet basics.

[Kalila]

Okay. Yes.

[Esther Povitsky]

Okay, here's the issue. There's definitely nothing I can do that you guys can't.

[Brooke]

I want you to teach me how to work out.

[Esther Povitsky]

Oh, so I'm learning. This is the problem.

[Brooke]

Teach me what you learned. I guess.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah, that's true.

[Brooke]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

I need you to teach me how to not believe in things.

[Brooke]

Oh, that's a good one.

[Kalila]

That's a really, like, not to buy into.

[Brooke]

Not to take on every scary thing that's out there. You just go, it doesn't exist. I'm like, I need that. I need. That's.

[Esther Povitsky]

How did you get that it is very beautiful. Like, the other day, I had my whole finger turned black and I was like, wait, I saw that bummer. Like, I hardly even looked into it. I was like, well, that'll go away. And it did.

[Kalila]

That's honestly a magic trick.

[Brooke]

That's huge. Where I'm like, I would be five hours on Reddit, like, I'll tell you, messaging people.

[Esther Povitsky]

It's really stems from a, like, no desire to like or, like, not a big will to live. You know what I mean? Like, you probably really want to stay alive. Like, that's. That's where the fear comes from. And I'm like, if it's gonna take me, it'll take me. And then probably I'll get a lot of attention.

[Kalila]

Okay. Another thing I want to manifest for you, I really think Dancing with the Stars for the both of you.

[Brooke]

Thank you.

[Kalila]

I think that's gonna happen.

[Brooke]

I've heard, though, that the more you want it, the less they want you.

[Esther Povitsky]

No, I think that's true. And I need a shot.

[Brooke]

Honestly, we don't want to go on.

[Esther Povitsky]

It's really a stupid show.

[Brooke]

Yeah. It would just be so beneath us and embarrassing. They could never get us.

[Esther Povitsky]

Zendaya went on. I thought about that today.

[Kalila]

Like she did in the early years.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah. And I just think about that all the time. Like, Zendaya.

[Brooke]

Yeah. No one has the right to judge anyone.

[Kalila]

Sometimes you think that entering the reality world sort of disqualifies you for other stuff. And it's just like, everyone does everything.

[Brooke]

Jennifer Hudson won an Oscar and she got her name made on American Idol. Like, that changed everything.

[Kyla]

Kelly Clarkson.

[Esther Povitsky]

That's so true.

[Kalila]

I mean, Theo Von Truly.

[Esther Povitsky]

Oh, yeah. He was like, rogue rules.

[Brooke]

Yeah.

[Esther Povitsky]

And that turned into the challenge.

[Kalila]

Right. Jamie Chong.

[Brooke]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

Real world. Right.

[Brooke]

So basically, you should have gone on Naked and Afraid is what we're all trying to say.

[Esther Povitsky]

I just, like, used to think I was like, kind of what you're saying. Like, you think, like, oh, I would never do that. But now there's nothing that I wouldn't do. Right.

[Brooke]

I'm down. Sign me up. I wanna. I wanna go on a reality show. Fights. I wanna. I'm ready.

[Kalila]

I. Do they take non Mormon girls on the Mormon Wives Show?

[Esther Povitsky]

I don't think any of those girls are Mormon, by the way. I don't think the church would claim any of them. And I don't. That's not to say that wonderful people, but, like, they're like, beating their. Well, I shouldn't say that.

[Kyla]

Well, I think they're trying to get more Morgan, more Morgans, more Mormons to join.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Brooke]

So I think convert to Mormonism and get famous.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Esther Povitsky]

I just almost think, like, the church would just look down upon, like, you going on a reality show.

[Kalila]

But I do think that there is this, you know, the whole idea is like, this new wave of, you know, the Mormon religion. These are like the 2.0, the cooler, more accepting Mormon.

[Brooke]

Okay.

[Kalila]

I'm into it, allegedly. Right.

[Brooke]

If we. What would our reality show be? None. We asked. None of us have any.

[Kalila]

Like, I wrote one for us years ago, remember?

[Brooke]

Oh, yeah.

[Kalila]

And it's all about, you know, us doing things we don't want to do.

[Esther Povitsky]

I want an audition.

[Brooke]

We're already in.

[Kalila]

You're already in.

[Brooke]

Tana is. Am I saying her name right? Would Tana ever do a reality show?

[Esther Povitsky]

For sure. She had a reality show of her own.

[Brooke]

Really?

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah, it was called Tana Turns 21 on MTV.

[Kalila]

Oh, my God.

[Esther Povitsky]

And I don't think it went over well, but I definitely, like, she would for sure do a show again.

[Brooke]

I had a reality show piloted. Mtv, really, years ago. And that was when I was, like, in my no era. And I kept turning it down until they, like, kept making it better. And then I was like, okay, fine, I'll do it. But then I never got picked up. Wait, would you and Tana do one like. Oh, that.

[Esther Povitsky]

Well, I don't know if we. Yeah, no, probably not.

[Brooke]

Okay, maybe here's our. We should do, like, the female podcasters of LA reality show.

[Esther Povitsky]

There's really. It doesn't exist.

[Brooke]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

There are enough of us now.

[Brooke]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

For a while it was.

[Esther Povitsky]

Who else could we get? Like, actually, I can't think of anyone else who would do it. I was gonna say, like, Alex Cooper. Like, she's good, right?

[Kalila]

No, I think she'd. She'd. She'd want in.

[Brooke]

Really?

[Kalila]

Yeah, more as just like a.

[Esther Povitsky]

Like, I'm like, do we want her in? She made 100 something million dollars. She would also.

[Brooke]

I feel like she would only do it if she was in complete control of it.

[Esther Povitsky]

I think she would just be too powerful and I would feel embarrassed.

[Brooke]

I definitely wouldn't feel embarrassed around her.

[Esther Povitsky]

Really?

[Brooke]

No.

[Esther Povitsky]

You don't like Alex Cooper?

[Brooke]

I like her, but I don't. Wouldn't feel, like, embarrassed.

[Esther Povitsky]

Oh, I think I would just feel broke.

[Kalila]

Oh, who cares?

[Kyla]

You're right, Esther, you could teach people how to do stand up.

[Esther Povitsky]

Wait, I want to learn that.

[Brooke]

I need to learn first.

[Esther Povitsky]

No, I need help. That's what I want.

[Brooke]

You to do stand up.

[Esther Povitsky]

I really need help. I need, like, three minutes.

[Brooke]

I could definitely be a standup coach. That's. That is the saddest sentence anyone's ever said. Print it. Cut it, roll it. That was it.

[Esther Povitsky]

Who taught you, or did you just jump in?

[Brooke]

I just learned through the years of. Of being a hilarious. Oh. By other comedians.

[Esther Povitsky]

I. Oh, yeah. I guess you. You dated. Is that my way in? I tried it.

[Brooke]

You did have to date me. Okay, well, we have a lot to plan. We have, like, a lot. This episode should be called how to Get Famous. I don't know why all of a sudden that's become the topic.

[Esther Povitsky]

I love it, and I'm actually genuinely serious. I think we should try new things together.

[Brooke]

I'm down.

[Kalila]

Yes.

[Esther Povitsky]

I really just, like, want to be friends.

[Kalila]

I'm in. I'm in. Fully in, guys.

[Brooke]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

Sold.

[Esther Povitsky]

All right.

[Brooke]

Well, Brooke, thank you for being our new best friend.

[Esther Povitsky]

Thank you for having me. I'll come on anytime.

[Brooke]

That's huge for us. We're so excited. We love hanging out with you. And where can people find more of you? The canceled podcast.

[Esther Povitsky]

The canceled podcast. And we're about to announce our international tour in, like, a week.

[Kalila]

Wow.

[Esther Povitsky]

Where are you guys going right now? It's just Europe. I think we're going to end up doing Australia as well. But we. We're finalizing your updates. We'll know, like, in a week, and then we go in all of April.

[Kalila]

Incredible.

[Brooke]

Oh, my God.

[Kalila]

Congrats.

[Brooke]

Yeah.

[Esther Povitsky]

Thank you.

[Brooke]

Well, you guys, Slugs, thank you for being here. We'll see you on our Patreon, and we'll see you next week with a brand new episode.