Cancelled Chronicles with Brooke Schofield and Rudy Jules

Summary

Trash Tuesday w/ Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn

Episode: Cancelled Chronicles with Brooke Schofield and Rudy Jules
Date: August 19, 2025

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Episode Overview

This lively episode of Trash Tuesday brings together hosts Esther Povitsky and Khalyla Kuhn with guests Brooke Schofield and Rudy Jules (Jules), joined at times by Stella. The group dives into topics ranging from classic movies and nostalgia, food quirks, body image, experiences dealing with internet hate, podcasting burnout, and the weirdness of family connections. It’s a candid, chaotic, and intimate hangout full of personal stories, self-deprecating humor, and comedic hot takes.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Movie Deep Dives & Classic Fandom (01:28–06:29)

• Binge-Watching & Movie Marathons: Jules admits she stayed up all night to binge a show after returning from Australia, helpfully aided by Adderall. (01:31)
• Classic Films & Sequels:
  • Brooke shares her recent dive into the original Planet of the Apes and its bizarre sequels.
  • Esther discusses attending a nine-hour Planet of the Apes theater event and plans for a Back to the Future reunion screening.
  • Memorable revelation: Jules' fiancé's dad produced Back to the Future; she’s never seen it, but the making-of doc piqued her interest.

  “You know, my fiancé’s dad produced it.” — Jules (05:02)

• Movie Nostalgia:
  • The group bonds over the nostalgia and community feeling in doing movie marathons or revisiting childhood favorites.

2. Dealing With Internet Judgement & Cancel Culture (07:14–09:00, 40:41–41:59)

• Public Scrutiny on Private Life:
  • The group vents about online judgement—particularly towards Jules’ engagement and appearance. Jules has deleted TikTok to avoid negativity.

  “Can you imagine if in real life someone was like, here’s why you’re making a mistake in your life and I don’t know you at all?” — Brooke (07:14)

  • Support is voiced for Jules, and they reflect on the immaturity of internet culture.
• Podcast Burnout & Canceled Chronicles Ending:
  • Jules talks openly about the end of her own podcast because of the toxic environment and “irreparably canceled” status.

  “The show was so toxic, and we were so toxic and inviting all these, you know, people in who really like that, and it backfired...” — Jules (41:16)

  • Stella debunks the idea that anyone is “irreparably canceled,” noting many public figures worse than Jules remain unscathed.

3. Food Obsessions & Cultural Baggage (09:39–18:03)

• Cravings and Restrictions:
  • The merits of satisfying cravings vs. restrictive eating (the Taco Bell nacho convo!).

  “I’m a big believer in… eating what you have a taste for.” — Brooke (10:59)

• Spam, Hot Dogs, and American Deli Talk:
  • Processed meat preferences spark playful debate. Spam, bologna, and hot dogs are lauded and shamed in equal measure.
  • Filipino food influences and candid confessions about childhood food memories.
• Mayo Discourse:
  • Esther outs herself as a mayo-sandwich girl; Stella and Jules join in, defending the practice and sharing the Filipino trick of using mayonnaise for lice treatment.
  • Discussion of Asian vs. American mayo and the viral “salmon rice, kewpie mayo” bowl.

  “Mayo is not a condiment to me. We put it in steamed fish. We put it in everything. … Our whole heart is made of mayo.” — Stella (17:40)

4. Body Image, Medical Trends & Microplastics (33:35–34:54)

• Plastic Surgery Real Talk:
  • Jules addresses body-shaming comments online, especially about her breast augmentation:

  “They're supposed to be big. Let me go on record. … I want to be built like an AirPod. That was literally like my inspo.” — Jules (07:48)

• Microplastics Removal:
  • Discussion of a $13,000 “blood cleansing” treatment for microplastics, met with widespread skepticism about its legitimacy.

  “No, because I think that's probably not fake. Yeah, I think it's fake.” — Stella (33:40)

5. Childhood Traumas: Lice, Diarrhea, and More (16:45–21:29)

• Lice Stories:
  • Swapping stories about childhood lice infestations, the trauma of getting rid of lice, and the Filipino method (mayonnaise on the hair).
  • Jules and Stella debate the emotional aspects—being doted on vs. hiding it in shame.
• Bodily Humor:
  • Multiple mentions of diarrhea (and celebrating it after constipation), normalizing TMI in the group’s comedic tradition.

6. Titanic & The Allure of Disaster (25:49–33:54)

• Would You Survive the Titanic?
  • Each guest walks through their “Titanic fate” based on class, body heat, and hustle.
  • Survival plans include “suck and fuck” strategies offered in jest, and the power of IOUs with potential saviors.

  “You could suck and fuck your way on one [lifeboat].” — Esther (27:59)

  • The moral of the story: privilege governs disaster survival—and being cold-blooded is a hazard.
• Oceangate Sub Implosion:
  • Would they take a sub to the Titanic wreck? General consensus: No way, unless they were billionaires with nothing left to dream of.
  • Stella muses about the thrill factor in risky adventures.

7. Philanthropy, Personal Scams & Family (38:53–40:32)

• Support for a Sponsored Child:
  • Jules discusses sponsoring a Filipino girl named Marianne, and whether or not it’s a scam (general trust, but some doubts).
• Eccentric Accountant vs. Neurotic Loyalty:
  • Brooke’s stories about her aging accountant, his disabilities, and “hall food” are both endearing and quirky.
  • Stella notes Brooke sees herself in Arnold and values loyalty above practicality.

8. Family Boundaries, Incest & Dark Humor (47:00–51:04)

• Family Crushes & Stepbrother Hookups:
  • Lighthearted discussion of how close is “too close” for familial dating (step-siblings, distant cousins).

  “I have a friend who was dating a guy...both of their grandma, and they, like, were fully dating.” — Jules (49:17)

  • Stella shares a dark story of a twin molested by her twin—one of the “saddest” stories she’s ever heard.
• Self-Perception & Sex:
  • Lena Dunham’s musings on the idea of having sex with oneself get a thorough, comedic deconstruction by the group.

9. Red Flags, Self-Deprecation & Accountability (52:22–54:58)

• Personal Responsibility & Red Flags:
  • The group picks apart the phrase “they just don’t like me,” calling out the need for self-reflection and ownership instead of victim mentality.

  “It’s in the same vein as, like, all my exes are crazy. … There’s a common denominator there.” — Stella (53:02)

  • Self-deprecation is called out as tired and possibly insincere, functioning as a modern “pick me” behavior.
  • No, not everyone should “be themselves”—improvement is encouraged if your default self sucks.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Jules on internet hate:

  “Apparently, I have the worst boob job on the planet. … They’re supposed to be big. … I want to be built like an AirPod—that was literally my inspo.” (07:48)

• Stella on mayo:

  “Mayo is not a condiment to me. … Our whole heart is made of mayo.” (17:40)

• On Titanic Survival:

  “You could suck and fuck your way on one [lifeboat].” — Esther (27:59)
  “I would do a handshake deal, like, I owe you one blow job later.” — Jules (28:24)

• Jules on podcast burnout:

  “The show was so toxic, and we were so toxic and inviting all these… people in who really like that, and it backfired, and so we just get so much hate now. It’s, like, really, really, like, too much.” (41:16)

• On Red Flags:

  “It’s in the same vein as, like, all my exes are crazy. … There’s a common denominator there.” — Stella (53:02)
  “I don’t think that you should just be yourself. If you’re a shitty person, please don’t be yourself. Be better.” — Stella (54:37)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Classic Movies, Planet of the Apes, Back to the Future: 01:28–06:29
• Internet Judgement, Cancel Culture: 07:14–09:00, 40:41–41:59
• Food & Childhood Comforts: 09:39–18:03
• Plastic Surgery, Body Image: 07:48, 33:35–34:54
• Lice, Diarrhea, Childhood Scars: 16:45–21:29
• Titanic, Disaster Scenarios, Sub Implosions: 25:49–33:54
• Philanthropy, Accountant Antics: 38:53–40:32
• Family Boundaries & Incest Jokes: 47:00–51:04
• Self-Perception, Accountability: 52:22–54:58

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Final Thoughts

This Trash Tuesday is a whirlwind of candid stories and chaotic humor, offering a rare, unfiltered look into each host’s and guest’s quirks, hang-ups, and camaraderie. The episode vacillates between irreverent laughs and unexpectedly deep commentary on internet life, healing from toxicity, and personal accountability. Above all, it’s a safe space for messy conversations, laughter, and the celebration of everyone’s inner “slug.”

Transcript

[Host/Advertiser]

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[Brooke]

You literally stayed up all night and watched every episode.

[Jules]

I did. I started it at like 8pm and I finished it at like 4.

[Brooke]

Wait, I definitely am having like a romanticized view of that, but I would just fall asleep. I don't understand how you stayed up.

[Jules]

No, I was so into it.

[Stella]

Oh.

[Jules]

I mean, I am really off timing because I just got back from Australia, so I'm like completely upside down.

[Brooke]

Oh. Yeah.

[Jules]

But I usually can't. I fall asleep at everything.

[Brooke]

Wow. I'm like really impressed at your stamina. Oh, thank you.

[Jules]

I took an Adderall yesterday too. That's an important detail. Very important detail, actually, now that I think about it. Like, that's why.

[Brooke]

Shout out to our golden slug, Brandon. Guys, we have a Patreon. And the truth is we just recorded a long and deep episode for our patrons only. And it was the four of us and it was really intense. And if you want to listen to that, that will be the bonus episode this week. Check it out. Check us [e-mail] Trash Tuesday podcast or the link below. And we have new bonus episod every week.

[Stella]

It's a little extra juicy. It's a little bit more of our unmasked version of ourselves and I think it's our best work. So go check it out.

[Brooke]

I am on tour. I'm so excited that I will officially be going on tour this fall. Starting in September. I'm going to be in Madison, Portland, Seattle, Denver, Philly, Boston, New York, Olympia, all these great cities. I can't wait to share all my new material with you guys. It's been so fun to work on it. Get tickets at Pretty Little Baby Tour and you can get tickets now before they sell out the link below. Thank you. I'm excited. I'll see you guys there.

[Host/Advertiser]

You guys, I have a hair care.

[Stella]

Brand that I'm really proud of.

[Host/Advertiser]

It is Hyper Clean Reef Safe.

[Stella]

Incredible Top incredible.

[Jules]

That's why I can carry it with me.

[Stella]

I mean, like, you know when you create something and you're like, wow, I really nailed it. I really nailed it. The formulation, the packaging, everything about it is fucking beautiful. Go to evoceanclub.com We've sold out of.

[Host/Advertiser]

The shampoo and conditioner for now, but.

[Stella]

We are trying to bring that back asap. But we still have a ton of detanglers. There's some will come back though. They are equally amazing.

[Host/Advertiser]

Go get [e-mail].

[Brooke]

I've been watching movies lately and I.

[Stella]

What?

[Brooke]

Why is that funny?

[Jules]

Because it's.

[Esther]

They're from like the 90s.

[Brooke]

Well, I'll do you one better. I watched the original Planet of the Apes. It's so good. But then you realize there's like literally five sequels. Not like of the ones in the 2000s, but like the 60s and 70s. They. The sequel is the worst movie I've ever seen in my life. Like, it's so crazy how many weird, like, alien turns they make. And I'm just like, why does it have to be like that?

[Jules]

I've never seen it. I feel like I've never seen any of the, like, classic movies at all.

[Esther]

Did you see the Planet of the Ape? Like the new ones? You guys, I went to ArcLight and watched all three in a day. I'm such a nerd.

[Jules]

How can you watch all three in a day?

[Esther]

Well, you take bathroom breaks and you just eat popcorn.

[Jules]

Well, did they play them all at once?

[Esther]

Like, one after the other?

[Jules]

Yeah.

[Brooke]

Wait. Oh, that is weird.

[Jules]

How do they do they do that?

[Stella]

Yeah.

[Esther]

No, it was like a big event. That's why it's nerdy.

[Stella]

I.

[Esther]

And then I went and I sat through nine hours of Planet of the Apes.

[Jules]

I completely admire that.

[Esther]

Thank you so much.

[Stella]

Brooke.

[Jules]

They have missed you. What's coming? Oh, Back to the Future is coming back to theaters this year.

[Brooke]

Can we go?

[Jules]

Yeah, I really want to go because. Well, first of all, I've never seen it, but my.

[Brooke]

Oh, my God.

[Jules]

I know.

[Brooke]

It's like my comfort movie. I watch it like multiple times a year. Wait, really?

[Jules]

You know, my fiance's dad produced it.

[Brooke]

What?

[Jules]

Yeah, he made Back to the Future.

[Brooke]

Oh, my God.

[Jules]

But I've never seen it. And like, I want to see it. I saw the, like, making of Back to the Future, but I've never seen that.

[Brooke]

Where is the Making of? I want to watch that today.

[Jules]

I think it's on Netflix, but I watched it cuz I. I feel like that makes me more interested in something. Not that I wasn't interested in. It's so fun. But now that I know it's coming back to theaters, I'm like, I can't watch it until it's in theaters. Like, I need the full experience.

[Brooke]

Okay. Part two is. Is my favorite.

[Jules]

Really?

[Brooke]

Yeah. I would love to watch like all three.

[Jules]

I'm excited. I feel like that's what's going to happen because it's the 40 year anniversary.

[Stella]

Whoa.

[Brooke]

I remember for the 30 year, I think we went and saw it in theater. Really? Yeah.

[Jules]

I love that you love it. It's nostalgic to do that and it's.

[Esther]

Fun to do nine hours.

[Jules]

I do like to feel like I'm a part of something.

[Brooke]

Yeah.

[Esther]

It felt like a community anyway. Is your fiance a Nepal gravy?

[Jules]

Yeah, I guess.

[Brooke]

That's so cool.

[Jules]

But he's not like. He is, but he's not.

[Brooke]

No.

[Esther]

I think Nepo babies are cool. I'm sorry.

[Jules]

No, I think it's the best. I was really searching for one, to be honest.

[Brooke]

Her fiance's dad was a producer of Back to the Future.

[Stella]

Oh, my God.

[Brooke]

I know this is huge for you. I know. Thank you for.

[Jules]

I know. I love that you love it so much.

[Stella]

Like, that's her most favorite thing.

[Brooke]

Can I. Is he still alive?

[Stella]

Yeah.

[Brooke]

Can I meet him?

[Jules]

Of course.

[Brooke]

Oh, my God. Absolutely. Does he have any, like, stuff from the set?

[Jules]

I'm pretty sure he has like, all the, like, memorabilia and stuff. I know they just want to see it.

[Brooke]

I want to, like, look at it because I remember when I first moved to LA there. I was so mad. The MTV VMAs had a fire and it burned down the original stage of Back to the Future. Like, it burnt it down, like, whatever. The town square. And before. Up until then, like, you could go and see it. And then, like, in some. Like in 2008 or 2009, it burned down.

[Stella]

And they're like, they never rebuilt it. No.

[Jules]

God, that's horrible.

[Brooke]

I know.

[Stella]

An update from Jewel. She's supposed to be here, but she texted me that she has diarrhea, so. Which is great. So relatable. I know. But also really good news for her because she's a constipation queen.

[Jules]

Oh, good. Yeah.

[Brooke]

No, I'm really happy for her.

[Jules]

That is really exciting.

[Stella]

Don't lie. You had a diarrhea weekend.

[Brooke]

Yeah. Yeah, that's true.

[Stella]

That you gave me the play by play.

[Jules]

I forgot. I haven't had it in a while. I enjoy it.

[Brooke]

Okay. We've been, like, talking about this. Like, literally. I've been, like, laughing to myself at how crazy what's going on with you is that, like, so many people are willing to, like, judge you and your engagement. I'm like, can you imagine if in real life someone was like, here's why you're making a mistake in your life and I don't know you at all. Like, it's been like. I'm, like, in shock about it. Like, people are unhinged.

[Jules]

It's dark. But I deleted TikTok.

[Stella]

I'm just.

[Jules]

I'm ignoring it. As far as I know, everyone's extremely happy for me.

[Brooke]

I think it's over. But there was, like, a moment where I was just like, people are.

[Jules]

I know. I feel like I'm kind of get. I get in trouble for everything. Apparently, I have the worst boob job on the planet. That's the new thing. I'm like, they're supposed to be big. Let me go on record.

[Brooke]

They're supposed to be this big.

[Jules]

People are like. They're so unproportionate. I'm like, yeah, it's like, the whole thing.

[Brooke]

It's not like, a mistake the doctor made.

[Jules]

Yeah. I want to be built like an AirPod. That was literally like my. My inspo.

[Brooke]

But, yeah, I just wanted to like, to let you know, like, there's real adults here supporting you, being like, you can't say those things to people. Like, it's so weird and rude.

[Stella]

It is just.

[Jules]

I think it's kids. Like, I think it's, like, teenager immaturity.

[Brooke]

Like, yeah. People who just don't understand how the real world works.

[Jules]

Yeah.

[Brooke]

And it's like you just can't control someone else's decisions. Like you're an adult, so you get to do what you want.

[Jules]

I think it's part of it is like my history of bad decision making. Especially in like the. In terms of like choosing a man.

[Stella]

So people are like, girl, but even if you didn't have that, they'd still come for you. I promise you. You know, it's just part of it. It's just. You make peace with it and you cry alone in the dark and then you just come out of it.

[Jules]

I do a lot of crying alone in the dark, I'll tell you that much.

[Brooke]

That's. Hello.

[Stella]

Hi, Jules. Congrats on your diarrhea.

[Brooke]

No, it's huge. Wait, nobody.

[Jules]

You guys all match each other and.

[Brooke]

Wait, do we.

[Stella]

We're just sloppy, sloppy girls.

[Jules]

I'm literally starstruck. I'm obsessed with you.

[Brooke]

That's okay.

[Esther]

It's okay.

[Stella]

How's your butt?

[Jules]

It's like leaky. Oh no, that's the worst.

[Stella]

I'm sorry, Jules. It's okay.

[Brooke]

But are you happy? You're pooping?

[Stella]

Yeah, because I have.

[Guest]

I haven't pooped. So like this morning, like my farts were like crazy. It was so deadly. And then I Woke up at 6am and I just kept dying.

[Jules]

That's good, girl. Get it out.

[Stella]

Yeah.

[Brooke]

What do you. Do you think there's something that triggered it?

[Guest]

Well, Titu Bobby bought this like cake last night from. I forgot the name. But then I woke up to eat it at like 2am That'll do it.

[Brooke]

Wait, what?

[Jules]

That'll get you.

[Brooke]

You just wake up at 2am and have cake.

[Guest]

I felt hungry.

[Jules]

I miss being young.

[Stella]

You. Me too.

[Guest]

And Tito, Bobby was like, oh, like have the cake. Cuz he's also awake.

[Brooke]

He just had cake for no reason.

[Guest]

He's always buying like pastries and cakes and it's so.

[Stella]

But he's on Ozempic. This is unfair.

[Jules]

How's he doing that?

[Brooke]

I don't know.

[Stella]

He's on OIC and he eats like a half of a bite and he's like, I'm full. I think he just likes knowing that delicious food is around him. He can't even really have it.

[Jules]

Yeah, I feel like that's like a plus of OIC though, because you can have it in front of you and you won't go crazy. So it's like I might as well just. If I'm going to only eat a few Bites. I might as well have, like, a hamburger.

[Brooke]

Yeah, you might as well have the craving, like, have it. Max it out as something that tastes good. So I'm a really big believer in, like, you have to eat what you have a taste for. Because if you are, like, let's say you're craving, like, I don't know. And Taco Bell nachos, Bell Grande with extra mild sauce. Like, if I really, really want that. But I'm like, no, that's bad for me. Like, I'm gonna eat something else. The other thing that I eat is not going to satisfy the craving. And, like, I'll just end up eating more of the wrong thing.

[Jules]

Yeah. Or I'll still end up eating what I wanted to eat.

[Brooke]

And y.

[Jules]

Now it's like, oh, I've done too much.

[Brooke]

Yeah. So I'm like, a big believer in, like, eating what you have a taste for. Me too. So if anyone wants Taco Bell after this, I'll be there.

[Jules]

It's my dream.

[Host/Advertiser]

You're so weird.

[Stella]

The nasty shit that you eat but think Spam is disgusting is, like, weird to me.

[Jules]

What do you have against Spam?

[Stella]

Thank you, Brooke.

[Brooke]

I don't know what it is. First of all, it's in a can. It's meat in a can.

[Stella]

McDonald's literally doesn't go bad for a century, by the way. It might as well be all canned food.

[Brooke]

By the way, my Taco Bell order, I get beans instead of meat.

[Stella]

Disgusting.

[Brooke]

Sure, the beans are made from a powder mix, but it's not the meat. I feel like meats can be very scary.

[Guest]

But Spam is so good.

[Brooke]

I guess I've never tried it. I'll try it. Really?

[Jules]

Have you had, like, Spama Subi?

[Brooke]

No.

[Jules]

That's how you have to try.

[Stella]

I'll make one for you.

[Brooke]

Is it like a hot dog?

[Stella]

Okay, that's the thing you eat hot dog, bologna, all of the, like, processed other stuff. Right. Hey, that.

[Brooke]

You pin me for a bologna person.

[Stella]

You're not a baloney girl.

[Jules]

You do kind of give bologna.

[Brooke]

No, I got made fun of for eating it in elementary school, and I stopped eating it. Really? Yeah.

[Stella]

But you're the O.G. baloney girl. Okay, so why am I the O.G.

[Brooke]

No, no, no.

[Stella]

Can I tell you why? Baloney is actually baloney? The stigma against bologna is. Is bullshit. Because it's like mortadella. It's the same thing, but, like, rebranded as, like, Italian deli. Mortadella versus bologna, which is American shit meat. But they're very close in constitution.

[Brooke]

I will Say, though, a hot dog. I mean, I'm from Chicago, so it's like a hot dog with all the, like, all the drippings. Like, that is the best taste. But I, I do feel it's like the condiments that make it. I don't know. Do you guys eat hot dogs if you're not from Chicago?

[Jules]

Oh, I eat hot dogs.

[Brooke]

Where do you.

[Jules]

I eat hot dogs.

[Brooke]

Where do you get a hot dog?

[Jules]

A Dodgers game. Oh, yeah.

[Stella]

I mean, Dodger dogs are the best.

[Jules]

So good. Or just honestly and all. I don't care. Oscar Meyer, light me up.

[Stella]

Oh. Can I challenge you guys to eat a specific kind of hot dog? There might be a very carcinogenic red dye, but the Filipino Pure Foods Ultra red hot dogs. Please give a try.

[Jules]

I would love to.

[Guest]

It's so good.

[Stella]

We throw it in spaghetti.

[Jules]

G. But then my mom used to cut up hot dogs and put them in my macaroni. That's.

[Stella]

Yeah.

[Jules]

It's like one of the only nice things she did for me.

[Brooke]

I think she needed to do. Yeah. That was enough.

[Stella]

That's enough of a childhood memory.

[Jules]

I agree.

[Brooke]

In Chicago, we have the Vienna Beef Factory, but they. In the fa. In the hot dog factory, they have a cafe. So you can literally just go to the, the hot dog factory and order a hot dog. And, like, it's just so good. But I think they. And it was so cheap too. It was like a dollar. It was the best deal in town.

[Jules]

That's how I feel about ikea. Like the cafeteria in ikea. I'm like, I will go to lunch there. What?

[Stella]

I went there twice last week.

[Jules]

Oh, I thought you were gonna let you disagree.

[Stella]

I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[Jules]

It's so good. Like the little meatball sundae. I love a meatball.

[Stella]

I love me. You get the 812 or the 16 meatball? Because I always go full 16.

[Jules]

I, I, I feel like I'd probably go like 12.

[Brooke]

Okay.

[Stella]

At the most, mid, mid range.

[Brooke]

What is the sauce?

[Stella]

Is it like a sweet and sour gravy and then. But you have the lingonberry. And it's just a cafeteria setting. Whether they put little Swedish flag on the meatball.

[Jules]

Yeah. And then it's like $8 for, like, three people to eat. The Mac and cheese is.

[Stella]

You're correct. I, I say give it a try.

[Brooke]

Wait, I didn't know this. Your baby daddy is Polynesian.

[Stella]

He is a mix. He's Hawaiian, Filipino, Chinese.

[Brooke]

Because, you know, Polynesian is my favorite chick fil A sauce.

[Jules]

That is My. Oh, so good.

[Brooke]

Can he make it?

[Stella]

Let's. Do you want to ask him?

[Brooke]

Yeah.

[Stella]

Okay. Oh, my God. He doesn't even know what Chick fil a is.

[Brooke]

What?

[Stella]

He's like, you know, what you found.

[Brooke]

Guy in the forest?

[Stella]

I found him on the beach. K. Babe, what happened? Esther has a ridiculous question for you. The humor her aloha.

[Brooke]

Okay. Is it true you're a Polynesian?

[Stella]

Yeah.

[Brooke]

Okay. That. That. Why is he laughing like he's gonna kill me? Okay. That's my favorite sauce at Chick Fil.

[Jules]

A. I've never had a Polynesian sauce at Chick Fil a. Actually, I never. I don't think I've been to Chick Fil a.

[Stella]

See, that's what I said.

[Brooke]

Okay.

[Stella]

They don't have it in Hawaii? Oh, no. They just opened one.

[Brooke]

Do you know what a Polynesian sauce is?

[Stella]

Do you make it, or is that made up?

[Brooke]

What? Does it have coconut in it? No, Let me guess.

[Jules]

Pineapple in it?

[Brooke]

Closer. It's like, sweet and sour.

[Stella]

Yeah. White person made it up. A white person made it up? Yeah. Okay. Okay. I love you, babe. Thank you. Bye.

[Brooke]

Thank you.

[Stella]

It's made up.

[Brooke]

It tastes so authentic.

[Jules]

Authentically Polynesian. It's so good, though. I don't care if it's authentic or not.

[Stella]

Thank you.

[Brooke]

Is it your favorite sauce?

[Jules]

So. It's my favorite sauce.

[Stella]

It is good. It is good.

[Brooke]

Okay. You could have said that. I could.

[Stella]

I just can't. I don't think of it as, like, oh, the taste of the islands. I don't think it. When I eat. I just think, oh, this is good.

[Brooke]

You know, it's got me trained. Oh, it's so good.

[Esther]

I have a question for the group. As someone that has a mayonnaise sandwich with nothing in between, that's.

[Stella]

You're a bit of me.

[Jules]

I just love you. I think I love you for this, you guys.

[Brooke]

No, do not encourage me.

[Jules]

Wait, you don't like mayonnaise? That's it.

[Brooke]

She's saying it's just mayo and breast.

[Jules]

Well, do you ever, like, at the end of a sandwich, like, there's no meat left, and then you just love the, like, little bite? That's just bread in my.

[Stella]

A little crispy, a little soggy on one part of the bread. I used to do this as a kid. We had this. A mayo with relish. And it was just that on the bread. Delicious. Stella.

[Jules]

Wow.

[Stella]

We're friends.

[Jules]

Shut up. Is it in your bag?

[Brooke]

It's just bread.

[Jules]

Is it on an English muffin?

[Stella]

Yeah.

[Brooke]

Oh, my God.

[Jules]

I'M obsessed with you.

[Esther]

Well, there's cheese on it today, but last week, I was eating it in front of Guy, and he got really gross because it was just mayo.

[Jules]

I don't judge you at all for that. I had a mayo like. Like a version for a while because I had lice when I was younger, and my mom used to put, like, if you put mayo in there.

[Brooke]

That's what we did.

[Stella]

That's what we do in the Philippines. God, you are trash.

[Jules]

You are lice like, 12 years in a row anyway.

[Stella]

You're, like, literally, like, from the Philippines or something.

[Brooke]

I love that.

[Jules]

So. But they put. Yeah, they put mayo all over your head. So I remember I told my mom one day, I was like, do not put mayo on my sandwich. And I went to school, and I was like, this is the most disgusting.

[Brooke]

Thing I've ever had without mayo.

[Jules]

Yeah. So now it's mayo only Mayo always.

[Brooke]

I. First of all, I just want to say I love mayo. I actually went through a really dark period when I was, like, 11 years old, and I thought I was on the Subway diet, and I realized that, like, if I took mayo off my Subway sandwich, I would save calories. Meanwhile, I was, like, 70 pounds and a child. So then I, like, trained myself to not like mayo. And then years later, when I had mayo again, I was like, whoa. Like, mind blown. It's so good.

[Stella]

So good.

[Brooke]

Sandwiches need it.

[Stella]

What kind of mayo? Because in our household, it's kewpiece.

[Brooke]

Oh, okay. Asian flex.

[Stella]

But there are. There are levels to the game. But also, I don't on any. Any mayo, by the way. And. And let. Let me be very clear. Mayo is not a condiment to me. We put it in steamed fish. We put it in everything. We. We bake with mayo. So, like, it's not just a little ancillary thing that exists. Like, this is. Our whole heart is made of mayo.

[Brooke]

I just use regular, like, classic American mayo. But I do love whenever I have the kewpie mayo. The Japanese. Yeah, right. What is do differences?

[Stella]

I actually don't. I just know that it tastes better.

[Jules]

Especially when we have, like, them more. Do you remember when that, like, bowl was going viral? Like, the salmon rice, all that? It was like, Emily, I ate so much kefu mayonnaise, I was like, I almost died, I think.

[Stella]

Now, back to your lice. I had. I had, obviously, lice a lot as a kid and had the mayo head as well. I have fond memories of having lice.

[Jules]

Okay, you like it?

[Stella]

I liked. I liked being doted on it was, like, the one time in my childhood where there was an adult being like, let me go through your hair and pick at it and comb and find, like, insects in there. And it was a very, like, sweet kind of bonding thing we did.

[Guest]

When you go to school and then you're just, like, full of lies, and it's, like, falling.

[Jules]

Yeah, I got there, too, where it's falling.

[Stella]

Yeah.

[Jules]

But I had, like, the opposite experience. I was, like, traumatized by it because it was my big secret. Like, I never wanted my mom to know. I, like, hid it.

[Stella]

Yeah.

[Jules]

Because I was, like, I had it so many times, and it was, like, such a traumatic experience every time she's ripping my hair out that I was like, I'm not telling her this time. I can carry this through adulthood.

[Brooke]

How do you guys get it?

[Jules]

I don't know. You know what I want to know? Where the hell is the lice now?

[Stella]

Where are they?

[Jules]

Who has lice now? I haven't seen anyone with lice in years. But it was such a prevalent part of my childhood. I'm like, I thought everybody had life.

[Stella]

I think when you're in really, like, hot, hot weather and wherever lice thrive.

[Jules]

Maybe it's a kid thing.

[Stella]

It is a kid thing because as an adult, I've never had it. But the one time I saw Jules's ass get beat by her mom. Oh, my God. I mean, she wasn't even. How old were you?

[Brooke]

Sixteen.

[Stella]

Sixteen was. Your mom used a brush that she used on someone with lice. Her sister with lice. And she used the same brush on Jules. And Jules was like, take that shit out of my head. It's going to give me lies. I saw her mom physically whip her with this wooden brush. Like, not other parts of her body. Whip her in the head like this lashed out on her head. You're a babysitter, honey.

[Brooke]

Yeah. I'm gonna say, this is who you send to watch my child.

[Stella]

Yeah. Beat the shit out of her head.

[Jules]

Well, I'm really sorry that happened to you. I feel like I. That's a dark story.

[Stella]

But I.

[Jules]

You know what? When I found out I had a personality disorder was when I, like, I would brush through my hair, and anytime I couldn't get it through, I would get so frustrated, I would start beating my own self over the head with a brush.

[Brooke]

What?

[Stella]

Yeah.

[Brooke]

That's all?

[Stella]

Yeah, I had to get that out.

[Guest]

I have a question. With your lice, like, create, like, wounds, and then they would go under and burrow.

[Stella]

Would they burrow into your skin?

[Jules]

I mean, I'm sure they did. I had it for, I truly, like, probably six years straight.

[Stella]

Wow.

[Jules]

Where I, like, I just couldn't get. It wasn't until I moved in with my grandparents that they were like, we gotta get rid of your legs.

[Brooke]

Oh. And they figured it out how my.

[Jules]

Grandpa got it out. The first, the first time my mom tried so many times, it was like I. I felt like I just could never. It was, it was just a part of me.

[Stella]

The mayo doesn't technically kill them. The mayo just like, like puts a little glob and you can. It's easy to comb it off. But the. You have to kill the eggs. Right.

[Jules]

And it's like, you know, you have to really throw everything out and get rid of everything. And I had a sister and she always would get it. So like, we just pass it back and forth. It was just a mess.

[Esther]

Bugs are so disgusting.

[Jules]

I know. And they were just. They were living with me for a long time.

[Stella]

But you never.

[Jules]

I've never had crabs.

[Stella]

I've never had crabs.

[Jules]

I don't understand crabs because it's like, can't you just shave?

[Stella]

I always wondered that either.

[Brooke]

Yeah.

[Stella]

And what do they look like? Do they look exactly like head lice?

[Brooke]

Why are you looking at me?

[Jules]

Oh, sorry.

[Brooke]

I have a big bush that you've seen.

[Stella]

I have no hair for them to live on.

[Jules]

The bush is back, by the way.

[Brooke]

But is that really true?

[Stella]

It's true. Yes.

[Jules]

Of course.

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[Stella]

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[Brooke]

I was just wondering if you guys think we would survive the Titanic.

[Guest]

I know you won't survive.

[Stella]

You're lacking nutrients.

[Brooke]

Why would you say that, Jules?

[Guest]

You hate the water. It's cold. You don't know how to swim. You're gonna die.

[Brooke]

You don't think I could get on a lifeboat?

[Guest]

I don't think so.

[Stella]

I can tell you why you would survive. Because you wouldn't get on a boat to begin with.

[Brooke]

You're saying, oh, you wouldn't go on.

[Stella]

A whatever, transatlantic, big body of water.

[Brooke]

Trip and its first voyage?

[Stella]

No way.

[Brooke]

Get the kinks worked out.

[Stella]

Esther would never step foot, not even in a harbor.

[Brooke]

Really? No. I'm so scared. And Dave is still mad that when we were in New Zealand, like, we didn't take this, like, just this really nice, like, dinner cruise thing that he really wanted to do. I was like, it could sink. And then, like, we watched it from our room, like, go. Go out on the sea. Come back. And he was, like, so mad at me, but my anxiety would not let me get on it. Okay. I will say, after re watching Titanic, that when you see how scary it is to get off of a luxury ship and onto this tiny lifeboat because you think about the Titanic, and, like, we know everything now, so we're like, get to the lifeboats right away. Like, that's what you want. But when you're watching it, you're like, I would rather stay on the sinking ship because you don't know for sure what's gonna happen.

[Stella]

Your survival hunt.

[Brooke]

Your. But the lifeboat looks so scary, but.

[Stella]

You'Re talking about tons of steel and wood. You'd rather go down with that? That's a. I don't understand.

[Brooke]

I wouldn't. But, like, let's say maybe we're not sure it's gonna go down. Like, they're not telling us, and we don't know. Like, okay, I'd rather stay on this warm, nice ship than rush into, like, this tiny little boat in the middle of the ocean with no plan.

[Jules]

Yeah, I guess if you were on it, you, like, we can see it from the outside. If you were on it, you might be, like, confused. I would have gotten on a lifeboat, but I have, like, no real will to live. I was like, like, God forbid I'm on a little dinghy. I don't think I would have survived because I don't think I would have been able to afford a first class ticket. I feel like those are the people who got out first. I feel like it was the poor people who died. But that's just based on the movie.

[Brooke]

But some of, like, the pretty poor women were able to, like, really finesse.

[Esther]

Yeah, you could suck and fuck your way on one.

[Brooke]

Okay.

[Stella]

You don't have enough time to suck. And how long did it take for the actual Titanic to sink, though?

[Brooke]

An hour and 40 minutes?

[Jules]

Yeah, maybe it's like an IOU.

[Stella]

You better get quick with it. Find a dude. And how do you know which dude to suck and fuck?

[Jules]

You can figure.

[Stella]

You already know the captain. The captain went down with the ship. He's not helping.

[Esther]

You got to figure out the sketchy ones, the shady ones.

[Jules]

I would do a handshake deal, like, I owe you one blow job later.

[Brooke]

2.

[Jules]

Maybe I would just be like, I'm.

[Brooke]

A child, and then some man would.

[Jules]

Pick me up and everyone would believe you.

[Stella]

Yeah, I don't think I'd survive either.

[Brooke]

Why?

[Stella]

I'm anemic. I get cold.

[Jules]

Oh, I get so cold.

[Stella]

It was cold.

[Jules]

I just went to the Titanic museum, and you can, like, put your hand in the water.

[Brooke]

Which one?

[Jules]

I didn't do it. I don't know why I'm lying. I'm literally lying. I couldn't find it anywhere, but I heard it's cold.

[Brooke]

Where did you go?

[Jules]

I was in. God, I forget where I even was, but it's where the Titanic took off. Oh, it's so sad that I don't know where that was, but it was. I was on tour, so it was somewhere.

[Brooke]

Wait, that's so cool.

[Stella]

Yeah. If you're cold, intolerant, it's over for you. Right? Like, I'm so cold, intolerant. I don't like the cold, but if.

[Brooke]

You'Re huddled up with the other passengers on the lifeboat, it could be warm down there.

[Stella]

Yeah, Like Brooke. I wouldn't have had. I wouldn't have been able to afford the expensive ticket. I. I wouldn't be fast enough to find a guy to suck. And I. I just.

[Esther]

I disagree with your.

[Stella]

Okay, I know how to swim, but there's your swimming abilities.

[Jules]

You said you're a strong swimmer.

[Stella]

Yeah.

[Brooke]

You're surviving.

[Stella]

You. I am a survivor. But I' you guys, like, my level of cold intolerance is terrible.

[Brooke]

You know, there was a guy that was so drunk that he was one that went into the water and he survived because the alcohol kept him warm. And he was, like, one of, like, amazing five people to be pulled from the water and live. Do you think you would survive?

[Guest]

I feel like. Because I look like a jungle monkey. They won't let me in the boat.

[Stella]

They won't even let you in the boat.

[Guest]

They won't let me.

[Jules]

I don't think that's true.

[Stella]

I do.

[Esther]

1912.

[Stella]

1912. They're not gonna.

[Jules]

Yeah, that wasn't a good time.

[Stella]

That wasn't a good time for us, Jules.

[Brooke]

Yeah, what about me? I'm a Juden. Only Brooke can survive. She's white with tits.

[Jules]

I'm. I'm marrying a Jewish guy.

[Brooke]

You are.

[Jules]

So now I'm pretty much Jewish.

[Brooke]

You're gonna have a little Jew baby. Yeah. Oh, my God.

[Jules]

I'm so excited. But, yeah, I guess I would have. Maybe. Maybe I would have survived.

[Esther]

Would you guys go on the sub that went under to, like, where everyone died?

[Stella]

No, I wouldn't.

[Jules]

Not in a million years.

[Guest]

No.

[Stella]

That's like some next level. Like, you have so much money and you've seen too much, and you have no more dreams and that you're like, let me just do this one stupid, super risky thing in a submersible. And, like, yeah, that's. That's beyond.

[Brooke]

In defense of the people that went down on it. Like. Like, oh, that sounded sexy. Like, if you see an official, like, adventure that's, like, being presented by this guy that seems like he knows what he's doing, like, there is really no reason for me to go. Like, oh, maybe this is, like, fake and gonna break right?

[Stella]

Like, I don't us, Esther, because you didn't even go to the New Zealand dinner cruise.

[Brooke]

That's me. But, like, I just feel like when things are so official like, that I see why people are like, oh, yeah, why would this be dangerous?

[Jules]

Yeah. I have blind trust in everybody and especially, like, somebody who I know is, like, this, you know, billionaire engineer. I'm. Why would I think he's wrong?

[Esther]

I think it'd be so cool to see the Titanic, too.

[Brooke]

Me too.

[Jules]

But you know what my question is? It's like, what's the difference? Because they. I think they see it, like, when they're down there on screens, because there's, like, only one little window as far as I'm.

[Stella]

Do they just take turns? You mean, like.

[Jules]

Yeah, but it's like, at that point, it's like I can see it from, you know, above ground. If you're just looking at it on a screen, Right. Send a probe down there.

[Stella]

Yeah. But if you are looking out a.

[Esther]

Window and suddenly you see the ship, that would be sick.

[Stella]

Again. Why is it so cool to see a sunken ship full of rich people from 1912? Like, what is that? Why am I gonna risk my entire existence so I can have a peek at.

[Brooke]

What if it wasn't vessel?

[Stella]

A vessel?

[Brooke]

Let's say it wasn't risking you. You weren't feeling like, oh, this is going to risk my life.

[Stella]

Like.

[Brooke]

Like, then what do you feel of it?

[Stella]

What do you mean? Then it takes away, like, the. The thrill, Right? Oh, like, I think that people want to do that because it is very rare and thrilling and possibly, like, you know, unsafe.

[Brooke]

Really? I'm thinking like, no, it's like this majestic, magnificent thing to see, like a shipwreck. Like there's something, like, scary enough about them that they exist to me.

[Stella]

I will. I. I'll give you that. I love a shipwreck dive. We have many shipwreck dives in the Philippines. They're beautiful. There's ton of. Yes. They're like a haven for fish and wildlife. Right? That is. Shipwrecks are all about. I would go for that reason to see like a angler fish, but not like a. Ooh, eerie vessel that went down. Like, I have no interest in that.

[Jules]

See, I'm like dark and morbid. I like, I want to see it bad, but not bad enough to implode.

[Brooke]

Or spend like $300,000 or whatever it costs.

[Stella]

Is that how much it cost?

[Brooke]

I think it was like 150 or something thing.

[Esther]

I would have totally been on that.

[Jules]

Really?

[Stella]

Yeah. Wild girl.

[Jules]

I would.

[Esther]

If I was a millionaire, I would go down there in a second.

[Jules]

Oh, my God. I'm happy that you didn't get to much. Well, I don't want to see you implode.

[Esther]

I watched Titanic 20 times in the theater.

[Brooke]

Really? You beat me. I think I like.

[Jules]

It's a long movie. You really do have a lot of stamina. Movie theater stamina. Yeah.

[Esther]

Would you guys spend $13,000 to get microplastics out of your body? That's a new thing people are doing.

[Stella]

No, because I think that's probably not fake. Yeah, I think it's fake.

[Jules]

I do not fear microplastics in any way. In fact, I welcome them with open arms. Yeah.

[Stella]

This sounds like something just so.

[Brooke]

Like a scam.

[Stella]

It's a scam.

[Brooke]

Like, how do they. It's like we just learned in the last few years about microplastics. Like, existing, like, whatever, as much as they do in our bodies. And I just don't believe some, like, random, like, inventors or like, cute Instagram girlies figured out how to solve the problem.

[Stella]

I want to know how they do this. Is it like more of a dialysis? Have we looked into this?

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Stella]

So they basically take out your blood. They run it through a machine. Probably like when someone gets dialyzed. Right. And then they. It re enters your blood. It's a filtration system. Yeah, that sounds.

[Brooke]

There's probably microplastics in the tubes where they go out in and in of your body.

[Jules]

I just know that I would be still subjecting myself to microplastics after that. So it's like, what's the point?

[Brooke]

Because you can't not. Like you have no choice. You have. There's no way to live without being exposed to microplastics. In my experience, I would do it.

[Esther]

Because I wouldn't want plastic in me.

[Stella]

Stella, you do.

[Jules]

If I was a billionaire. I don't. I mean, I want plastic. The more plastic, the better. Look at Kylie Jenner.

[Esther]

Does anyone have an opinion on Long John Silvers?

[Stella]

I haven't been to one since I lived in a really bad neighborhood in Vegas.

[Jules]

That's so interesting. I had. The last I had it was when I lived in, like, a horrible neighborhood in Phoenix. Like Maryville. In Phoenix?

[Brooke]

Yeah.

[Stella]

I feel like they only exist there, right?

[Jules]

Maybe. But it's like a grandparent thing, I think. Or like my grandparents liked it.

[Brooke]

What do they serve?

[Jules]

I think, like glorified fish sticks if I'm. If I'm not mistaken.

[Brooke]

Wait, let me. I want to call my dad and ask. Ask him if he's ever had it. I remember it being okay.

[Jules]

I think they have good hush puppies if I'm. Yeah, that's their thing, I think.

[Brooke]

What is a hush puppy supposed to be?

[Stella]

Deep fried. Like catfish, right?

[Jules]

Yeah, I guess. I don't. I don't know if I. I can taste it in my head, but I don't know if I know what it is.

[Brooke]

I just say that I think a.

[Stella]

Hush puppy was a deep fried catfish.

[Jules]

No, it's.

[Esther]

It's like a deep fried cornbread.

[Brooke]

I'm new to seafood. Okay.

[Esther]

It's not seafood.

[Brooke]

Well, I just want to say that.

[Jules]

I feel like there might be some fish in there. I think it might be, like, fish in something else. Sounds like a potato or something.

[Brooke]

Did you guys ever have Olive Garden?

[Jules]

Oh, did I. Oh, cornmeal.

[Esther]

Yeah. So it's like Deep fried cornbread. You guys, it's so.

[Stella]

I had the wrong hush bubby.

[Jules]

Yeah, but I was going with it. I was like, yes, that is what you like.

[Stella]

Deep fried catfish. Sure.

[Brooke]

Dad. Yeah. Have you ever had Long John Silver Fish place? Yeah. Yeah. Is it good? Well, it's fried in oil. Oh, I liked it.

[Jules]

Mom likes.

[Brooke]

Mom doesn't like fish. No. Chicken planks.

[Jules]

She likes anything spy.

[Brooke]

Yeah, she likes anything fried but reminds her of a donut.

[Jules]

Okay.

[Brooke]

All right. That's all.

[Jules]

I love that. He just doesn't even question you.

[Brooke]

I'm shocked that he didn't, like, tell me I have to do something for my taxes or something or change my oil. No, but his best friend is my accountant, who's, like, kind of like my own, like, closest thing I have to an uncle. But Dave doesn't want him to be my accountant anymore because he's blind and he eats pot edibles.

[Jules]

I will say blind, kind of. It does feel like that might affect being an accountant.

[Brooke]

I know, but he seems to get it done. But how?

[Jules]

Okay, I get how.

[Brooke]

Are you anti disability?

[Jules]

No. Oh, my God, no.

[Brooke]

Please, someone.

[Jules]

Last thing I need on my resume. But I do. I do question that. Like, who's crunching the numbers with him?

[Brooke]

He actually has a Filipino assistant.

[Stella]

Oh, you know that guy? I trust.

[Brooke]

I do, too. Me too. When I was little, like, I went shopping once with my dad and his friend, who's now my accountant. And I remember, like, we were at the Gap Factory outlet, and he started taking off his clothes in the middle of the store to try the clothes on, like, in the middle of the store, and they're like, sir, do you want to address him? He's like, no, that's okay. And then also, we went on a trip to New York to see a Broadway show. And as we were leaving, Arnold, my accountant, was picking up the empty bags of candy that people left and eating out of them.

[Jules]

But how did he.

[Brooke]

And he invented something called hall food, which is where when you're staying in a hotel and you go and, like, take the people who put their food out in the hall and you eat it.

[Jules]

I don't think he's blind. I think he might be be fooling you.

[Brooke]

No, he's losing his sight now. Oh, years. Yeah. This was when we were younger, so.

[Jules]

I was picturing him just.

[Brooke]

Yeah, but that's. There's a lot.

[Stella]

Why?

[Brooke]

Dave wants me to get a new accountant. We'll see about that.

[Stella]

I feel like Arnold is just you in older man form.

[Brooke]

Yeah. There's A lot of influence there.

[Stella]

And you're loyal to you.

[Brooke]

Yeah.

[Stella]

You see yourself in him, I think.

[Brooke]

Oh, my God, you've really got me figured out. This many episodes in just. I don't even need to show up anymore.

[Guest]

Wait, Brooke, are you still supporting the little Filipina girl?

[Jules]

Yes, I am. Marianne in the Philippines. Although I, you know, I don't know a lot about her anymore because it's just like a subscribe and so it just comes out of my account and I don't really know how that affects her, but is that like her.

[Stella]

Remember back in the day, like, Kiva payments, where they would. He could support like this woman who wants to start a farm or wants to buy like 10 pigs gigs and they just take it out of your account? That's what I used to do, like a lot. And I used to love it because they would like, pay you back and I hated it when they would pay me back.

[Brooke]

No, no, please don't.

[Stella]

Like, like, just take it.

[Brooke]

Why would they pay you back?

[Stella]

Because that was the whole thing. It's like you help them set up this business, and then once they get their business going, they pay you back what you. And. And it was like, no, please don't pay me back. That's. That's. That's sweet, but no, thank you.

[Jules]

Yeah, I think it's similar to that. She should. I don't think she has a business. I think she's like 11, but.

[Brooke]

But she had.

[Jules]

She like wrote to me. I. I chose her. They, like ask you. They got me outside the grocery store and they were like, do you want to support a child? And I was like, honestly? Yeah. And they asked me where I wanted her to be from, and I said the Philippines. So then they chose her for me and they sent me like a pamphlet with like all of her information and her photo. And she like wrote a little thing and was like, thank you. And her name is Marianne.

[Stella]

Have you like facetimed with her?

[Jules]

No, I haven't.

[Brooke]

But I need.

[Jules]

I really. I want to check.

[Stella]

I just want to make sure that.

[Jules]

About her, it's like I. I created this huge Persona for her, and I hardly even hear from her.

[Stella]

I just want to make sure it's not a scam. Since you did find that person outside the grocery store.

[Brooke]

Yeah, I trust those people. I mean, I don't talk to them, but they seem legit.

[Jules]

I think about her so often that if she were a scam, I would feel like it would be like Clinton Cane all over.

[Stella]

That might be like a new Trauma for you if Marianne doesn't exist, really?

[Jules]

Well, he. So he was Filipino. That's why I chose Filipino Girl, because I was like. I don't know. I really wanted to, like, like, connect. Yeah, I think.

[Brooke]

So when is the canceled podcast is ending? Soon. Like, the end of the year or.

[Jules]

No, we actually. I think we have, like, two more episodes that we're gonna do, and then it's over.

[Stella]

Whoa.

[Brooke]

And do you know, like, what you want to do after or.

[Jules]

No.

[Brooke]

Help.

[Jules]

I'm like, I don't know what I want to do. I think I'm gonna take a little bit of a break, like, a few months where I just don't really do much at all and reassess.

[Brooke]

Professional ballerina.

[Jules]

Yeah. Pick up some hobbies. Find myself or something.

[Stella]

Why are you guys ending it?

[Jules]

It's just a dark world now. It's, like, not. It's not fun for us anymore. It's.

[Brooke]

We've.

[Jules]

I think the show was so toxic, and we were so toxic and inviting all these, you know, people in who really like that, and it backfired, and so we just get so much hate now. It's, like, really, really, like, too much.

[Stella]

Yeah.

[Jules]

I would do another podcast. I just think I would. I would want a smaller audience.

[Stella]

Well, welcome to Trash Tuesday.

[Jules]

No, I don't. I don't know. I would. I. I don't know what I want to do.

[Esther]

It just got too big. Is that what you're saying?

[Jules]

Yeah, it was just so nasty. Like, the. The response. We started getting to it, and, like, obviously, you know, I got, like, so irreparably canceled anyway. I think it was just, like, that carried over, and it never quite went away in that world.

[Stella]

I don't believe in irreparably canceled.

[Jules]

God, I hope not. But.

[Stella]

But I think there are plenty people who should be irreparably canceled, and they're still not irreparably canceled.

[Jules]

Oh, yeah.

[Stella]

The actual ones, the actual people that deserve to be never seen again are still not canceled. So.

[Jules]

Yeah, I don't know. I don't know how it works, but I, I. We had to get out of there. I was. It was dark.

[Stella]

I feel that. I hear you.

[Esther]

I don't mean to put you on the spot, but you're a Brook fan, right?

[Jules]

No, I'm a you fan. I am. I'm not kidding. We watch every day.

[Brooke]

Really? What do you watch?

[Stella]

Bad Friends.

[Jules]

Oh, sorry.

[Stella]

Yeah. No, it's okay.

[Brooke]

No, that's okay.

[Stella]

No, I still work with my ex.

[Jules]

Oh, okay.

[Stella]

So much.

[Jules]

Yeah. I never know because my exes won't even be in the same room as me.

[Stella]

No, I. I'm. I'm headed there right after this. If you want to come and be on the show.

[Jules]

I would be too scared. I'm not kidding. I couldn't even be in that room. Like I'm. I know. I would be so scared.

[Stella]

Oh my God. Bobby is like the. Like, you guys share similar traumas.

[Jules]

Really? I saw him one time on the street treat and I almost said something, but I was like, I can't.

[Stella]

No, we're dirt bags. Like we're. We're your flavor of people.

[Jules]

But I love that. But anyway, I watch you all the time.

[Guest]

I watch you too.

[Stella]

Well, she was the one who gave me the whole Clinton Kane breakdown.

[Jules]

Yeah.

[Stella]

From beginning to end. And she gave me a whole like, dissertation of like, this is like really deep into it. So that's how I like got caught up.

[Brooke]

I still don't know it at all.

[Stella]

I know you don't know any of that.

[Brooke]

It was needs to send me a link.

[Stella]

Oh God. Truly.

[Jules]

I made a 14 part series.

[Stella]

Truly High level entertainment on.

[Jules]

I made it on Tik Tok. That was like my big thing. My biggest thing, honestly. I made a 14 part series. It got like 200 million views. I'm not kidding. K. Harris used my sound stop. That was like my big thing. That's how I got cancelled so bad. Cuz I. I gained like a million followers in a week. And then that's what, that's what happens when you gain a million followers in a week. You get canceled. Look at Love Island.

[Brooke]

Yeah. Jules, what did you think of all the Clinton Kane stuff?

[Guest]

Oh, I hate him. And also he's still making like music and then like always posting on Tick Tock.

[Brooke]

Is that how you knew who she was?

[Guest]

No, I just saw the Tick Tock of you doing it.

[Stella]

And then her and I. Her and I were like, jules, Clinton can't be Filipino. Right? And we were like, oh my God. And then we started being like, he can't be one of us. He can't be one of us. Us. Because when we followed your. Your whole thing on Tick Tock and then we found out he was Filipino.

[Guest]

We were like, he thinks he's so handsome. He's so ugly.

[Jules]

Yeah, I was, I was confused. I like, I. In the moment, I did not think he was ugly. I like really didn't. But now I'm like, oh, no.

[Esther]

You just sometimes put on goggles and you're like, he's so hot.

[Jules]

Like, I've done that with, like, pretty much everyone I've ever.

[Stella]

Yeah.

[Esther]

Said he has big hip hips, and I've never.

[Jules]

Did he have childbearing hips.

[Stella]

But that's a me thing. I don't. I don't think most women care that a man has curves. I personally care when someone is a thin man and he's got a little bit of hips. That's a very, like, specific to me. Kind of like, ick.

[Brooke]

Like, it's high up.

[Jules]

I don't know if I've ever seen that.

[Esther]

The thing that I love so much about it is he had such a big crush on you. So when you said that, it felt so good.

[Brooke]

Wait, who had a crush? Oh, you're right. Next.

[Stella]

Like, I'm sorry, Stella, that your man had a crush on me.

[Esther]

Oh, it's okay. It happens.

[Jules]

But did he have hips?

[Esther]

He had big hips, a butt. And Bobby, the first time he ever met him, made fun of his legs.

[Brooke]

And he is obsessed with his body.

[Stella]

Obsessed with men's lips. But I love a big butt on a man.

[Jules]

Me too. My fiance has a. Like a literal dump truck.

[Stella]

Love a dump truck on a man.

[Jules]

No, I'm obsessed. He's cheek. It's, like, embarrassing, though. I don't like to. To be seen with him from behind.

[Stella]

Yes. That. That I can really get. Get behind. It's just a hip. The hips. I can't have hips. And it's. It's so. I'd be jealous.

[Jules]

Like, I don't have any hip.

[Stella]

I think maybe that's it. Maybe it's because I. I do have nice hips. What am I talking about? Sorry.

[Jules]

Maybe after I give birth, I feel like that's what happens. Don't your hips get wider when you give birth?

[Stella]

A little bit? Yeah, I. I look at my body now and I'm like, oh, not bad. Not bad in the hip department.

[Jules]

Wait, you came out out, right?

[Stella]

Yeah. As a mother. I came out as a mother.

[Brooke]

Oh, my God.

[Jules]

I remember.

[Brooke]

I feel like.

[Jules]

I, like, vaguely remember. I feel like I was drunk or something when I saw it, but I.

[Brooke]

Was like, oh, my God. Yay.

[Stella]

Yeah. Yeah, I came out as a mother, but not fully.

[Jules]

Oh, okay.

[Stella]

Yeah. Still partially in the closet. Yeah.

[Jules]

Okay.

[Brooke]

I'm not sure how you could be, like, half.

[Jules]

Yeah. I don't know either.

[Stella]

Well, you're a mom, but then you don't, like. You know, there's.

[Brooke]

Yeah.

[Stella]

Outside wearing no photographs, no nothing.

[Jules]

Oh, yeah. I feel like I might not do that either. But you have to keep doing it because I've Never seen a baby cuter.

[Brooke]

Oh, that's so nice.

[Jules]

No ever in life. I show her to everybody. Oh, my God, she's so cute. It's like something about the way her little mouth is shaped. It's so cute.

[Brooke]

Oh, thank you. I love her so much. She's so perfect to me.

[Stella]

Wait, what is that? Sorry. The James Dean thing. Oh, that's just a porn thing. Right, Sorry.

[Brooke]

Okay.

[Jules]

I like dream porn star to shoot.

[Brooke]

With because we had Stella Berry on. That's from her.

[Jules]

Oh, I love her. Got, like, in trouble for having her on.

[Stella]

Why?

[Jules]

Because we were, like, low key glorifying incest.

[Stella]

Oh. Because that was her whole thing. It wasn't even real. Right?

[Jules]

It wasn't.

[Stella]

It wasn't real.

[Jules]

And we knew it wasn't real, but the audience didn't know it wasn't real.

[Stella]

So silly. I mean, nothing in porn is real. It's like, look at me.

[Brooke]

My, you know, delivery driver.

[Jules]

Yeah.

[Stella]

Or my dad's best friend. None of it is real.

[Guest]

But do you sometimes have, like, a crush on your, like, distant cousin Lester?

[Stella]

That's a question for you.

[Brooke]

Stop. I don't want to go there today.

[Jules]

No, I think. I actually think it's, like, a part of childhood development. It's like to have crushes on your family members.

[Stella]

Yeah, I got diddled by family. Did he have a crush on me? Is really. That's.

[Jules]

I feel like that's a different circumstance. And I'm sorry that happened to you.

[Stella]

Thanks. Brooke, wait.

[Brooke]

I know that obviously that you hooked up with the boy that went on to become your stepbrother, but didn't you hook up with someone that was, like, maybe blood related or.

[Stella]

No, I hooked up with a guy who was the son of my dad's best friend. We grew up together as children, but then we started dating right around the age of, like, 19. But we were always just friends. And then we dated. But their family was close to my family. Family, friends. And later on during our relationship, his grandmother was like, hey, like, I don't think you guys should be hanging out or whatever. Whatever. And. And he was like, why? Because. And she knows never. Like, she was always very vague about it, but she had suspicions that maybe there had been some swinging involved and that maybe he was the son of my dad, because we did look alike. But I think we might have looked alike because he's also half Filipino, half white, and I'm, you know, I'm half and half. So I think it comes from that. I will. I will show you a picture. He's He's a handsome guy. But then that's. That was the grounds for why the grandma said that. But then when I told the story to add, you know, more flair to it, I was like, oh, yeah. Like, I. My brother. And so, you know, of course I. I'm.

[Brooke]

Yeah.

[Stella]

Even to this day, I'm like a brother. But that. That's really what it is. It was just a childhood friend I grew up with. And the grandma was like, hey, like, maybe you guys might be related. But when I asked my mom, and it's so unlikely. It's so, so, so unlikely.

[Brooke]

Yeah, well, I'm happy about that.

[Jules]

That I have a friend who was dating a guy and they broke up, and then she ran into him at her grandma's funeral, and she was like, what are you doing here? And he's like, this is my grandma's funeral. So it's both of their grandma, and they, like, were fully dating, like, in a relationship, and nobody. I guess they were like second cousins or something.

[Brooke]

A similar thing happened to me where I was on a first date, and at the end of the date, he was like, wait, what did you say your last name was? And I'm like, pavitsky. Why? And then he's like, we're cousins. And then we remember each other from his grandma's funeral.

[Stella]

Oh, first cousins.

[Brooke]

No, his mom and my dad are first cousins.

[Jules]

Second cousins.

[Stella]

Wow. God.

[Jules]

Small world.

[Brooke]

It's because my dad is so disconnected from his family. Like, literally ignores their calls if they drive by the house, hides. So it's like, I just didn't. I was raised with.

[Jules]

Yeah. How would you know?

[Brooke]

Yeah. Yeah. Only ever maybe went to funerals here and there.

[Stella]

Do you have a distant cousin? You have a. Who? You.

[Guest]

No, it's just when I was younger and, like, there's, like, family events, and then I would see, like, distant cousins. They're like, oh, they're so cute. And, yeah, I would have a crush, but then I would tell my other friends, would be like, that's weird.

[Stella]

That is weird.

[Guest]

You can't have crushes.

[Stella]

Didn't you know someone who was a twin who was being molested by her twin?

[Jules]

Yeah.

[Stella]

That is the saddest, like, to me of all the stories I've ever heard. That, to me, was, like, the. The saddest I'd ever heard.

[Brooke]

Horrible.

[Stella]

Horrible.

[Brooke]

Like a boy molested the girl.

[Jules]

Yeah.

[Guest]

And then, like, she would just be sleeping, and then, like, her twin would just go to her and would start.

[Stella]

Doing stuff, and then she was, like, completely traumatized and the parents didn't believe her, right?

[Guest]

Yeah, the parents didn't believe her. And then like she also got raped and stuff. And then she turned like she's a lesbian now cuz she doesn't want.

[Stella]

Good for her. Oh, I'd swear off dicks for like six lifetimes after that.

[Guest]

That it's.

[Stella]

And family.

[Brooke]

Yeah.

[Stella]

I have a. That's so dark. Before we end.

[Esther]

Lena Dunham once was like, it is my greatest fear and my greatest like, accomplishment to see myself having sex like with myself. Or like to have sex with myself.

[Stella]

And like not masturbation?

[Esther]

No, like literally, like you're able to imagine you can like get like an AI of yourself and you have sex with yourself.

[Jules]

So I have no interest in that whatsoever. Yeah, I don't have faith in my talents in that way. I like, I just don't. I think that would be really underwhelming.

[Stella]

I feel like that comes from a very like exhibitionist type of personality. Someone who wants to see their body on display, which is very much like Lena Dunham coded. I do have friends like Jenna say for instance. So I think we're like natural like performers. I'm a Voyer. I am the creepy. I like to watch other people, not myself. I don't like myself being watched.

[Brooke]

So why would you want to put in twice the work?

[Esther]

Okay, that's a really funny response. I just think it's curious because I. To know how you're being perceived while you're having sex.

[Jules]

Like, I feel like I'm very aware of how I'm being perceived when I'm having. I'm just there, just happy to be.

[Stella]

Here, just laying there.

[Jules]

Probably that's my style.

[Esther]

My last thing is, Esther, what did you mean by they just don't like me?

[Brooke]

When people say I'm experiencing this, where I've just been hearing it, it whether it's like people I know or like tick tock, whatever, where people be like, oh, they just don't like me. And I, I, it's like been starting to become a red flag to me of like, okay, well why don't people like you? Like, so you're just gonna blame that people just don't like you. It doesn't make sense to me. Like, I understand maybe there's certain things where you're being bullied and people just don't like you, whatever. But I think I've had experiences where I hear people say that and I'm like, you're not taking into account maybe why they don't like you.

[Stella]

It's in the same vein as, like, all my exes are crazy.

[Brooke]

Exactly.

[Stella]

Where it's like, you're you. Zero accountability of common denominator. Exactly. There's a common denominator there.

[Brooke]

It's like, I'm the victim. Like, people just don't like me. Like, I don't know what and I don't know. To me, that's a new red flag. Whereas, like, as I grow older, I keep learning different red flags. Like, one is like, if someone, like, aggressively tells you they're a good person.

[Jules]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brooke]

I've had to learn.

[Jules]

I don't like ever being told by somebody about their own personality.

[Stella]

Yes.

[Jules]

Like, why are you telling me? Like, it's. It's really strange.

[Stella]

I always say, like, beware of declarations. If they have to tell you what they are, they're the opposite of that.

[Jules]

Yeah. Like, I'm an empath. Like, oh, okay. Creep.

[Brooke]

Yeah, I even know what that.

[Jules]

Yeah, it's weird. I've never, I don't think described my personality to somebody unless I say. Like, honestly, I was just gonna tell you. I. I have that big victim complex.

[Esther]

Self deprecation count.

[Stella]

Self deprecation is kind of getting to. To be a little bit of an ick. And this is someone who is like, self. Like, I've done this, like, my whole life. It's just old and tiring and it's not funny anymore.

[Brooke]

But it's kind of self aware.

[Stella]

It's not because you're going. I don't think you truly believe what you're saying.

[Brooke]

Oh.

[Stella]

Like, I think you're just trying to be a pick me and being like, look how humble and like, how much I hate myself. Where it's like, that's not true.

[Jules]

I do it and I'm trying to get away from it. I literally made a conscious effort, like, just the past, like, few podcasts I've done, because I really do. I always come in and I'm like, these people hate me for this. You know, I'm in trouble for this. And it's like, I gotta stop. Because it's like, it's just dark energy.

[Stella]

It is dark energy. I will say, though, I. I don't agree. When people are like, just be yourself. I don't think that you should just be yourself. If you're a shitty person. Please don't be yourself. Be better. To that thing you were saying about, like, people just don't like me, me. And sometimes the argument is like, I'm just being me. Don't be you.

[Brooke]

Don't be you be better to have some changes?

[Stella]

Yeah, there are changes that. That are necessary. Please don't be you, like, ever again.

[Jules]

Oh, thank you guys so much.

[Stella]

Thank you, Brooke.

[Brooke]

Of course.

[Stella]

You're welcome to come on, tiger belly. I'm right after this.

[Jules]

I'm so scared. I just.

[Stella]

That's.

[Jules]

I would have to really mentally prepare myself for that. You know, the first, like, few times I filmed with you guys, I literally pregame.

[Stella]

Are you with Galloping?

[Jules]

Because I get so ner. I get so nervous to come on other podcasts. I don't know why. And especially, like, truthfully, I don't like to be the. Like, I. I like to be the funnier person in the room. So, like, doing anything with comedians, I'm like, you guys are funnier, and I don't like that.

[Brooke]

Well, thank you.

[Jules]

But I like to surround myself with unfunny people, so that makes me nervous.

[Brooke]

Well, thank you for being here. Of course. Congratulations on your engagement. We're very excited for you. Thank you. Take this big step. We'll see you next week with a brand new episode.