Chelsea Peretti & Rudy Jules are Anti - Slop

Summary

Trash Tuesday Episode Summary: "Chelsea Peretti & Rudy Jules are Anti - Slop"

Release Date: December 17, 2024
Hosts: Khalyla Kuhn & Esther Povitsky
Guests: Chelsea Peretti & Rudy Jules

---

Introduction

The episode kicks off with a promotional message from Jules, advertising live comedy shows featuring renowned comedians such as Chelsea Peretti, Sarah Silverman, and Wanda Sykes. Shortly after, the main conversation begins with Chelsea Peretti joining the hosts to celebrate the podcast’s milestone—the 200th episode.

Celebrating the 200th Episode

Rudy Jules expresses excitement about reaching the 200th episode milestone:

"Also 200th episode guys." [02:20]

Chelsea Peretti shares her honor and gratitude:

"Oh my goodness. What an honor. Congrats." [02:22]

The hosts reflect on their favorite guests and the dynamic of repeat appearances, highlighting the camaraderie and rapport within the podcasting community.

Pelvic Health and Medical Experiences

A significant portion of the discussion revolves around pelvic health, including personal experiences with physical therapy and medical procedures.

Rudy Jules delves into his experience with hypertonic pelvic floor therapy:

"I'm telling you, if someone put some fingers in there and just like, pressed... And it's weird because someone is inside your vagina and it's not sexual." [17:20]

Nurse John shares her traumatic experiences with pelvic exams and the lack of postpartum healthcare:

"I've always been on oic, I think I should be allowed to call myself fat... because generation positivity came about..." [22:29]

Chelsea Peretti recounts her father's inappropriate pelvic and anal exams during her teenage years:

"And then got fingered by the family doctor." [34:27]

The conversation highlights the often-overlooked aspects of women's health care, the stigma surrounding pelvic therapy, and the need for better support systems postpartum.

Food Preferences and Culinary Discussions

The hosts engage in a lively debate about soups, scones, and various food preferences, intertwining humor with personal anecdotes.

Nurse John criticizes certain soups for being unappealing:

"It's like, yeah, if you have dentures and you've taken them out... I do not like it." [50:34]

Chelsea Peretti defends diverse soup flavors, particularly Asian soups like Tom Yum:

"I like soupy dishes and stews... I'm always going to take a stew." [58:34]

Rudy Jules introduces his homemade recipe for French onion popcorn, sparking mixed reactions:

"It's like salmon infused olive oil and truffle salt... It was really good." [64:37]

The debate underscores the subjective nature of food preferences and the joy of sharing culinary experiments.

Health, Diet, and Supplements

Health and diet are recurring themes, with discussions on cholesterol, probiotics, and weight loss treatments.

Rudy Jules shares his struggle with high cholesterol and his approach to managing it:

"I have high cholesterol... but it's not all that." [12:56]

Nurse John discusses the challenges of maintaining a consistent supplement routine:

"I have to drink tons of liquid with it or it's constipating." [39:20]

Chelsea Peretti emphasizes the importance of personalized weight loss plans and endorses "hers" weight loss treatments:

"Everyone deserves to have a weight loss plan that is tailored to their specific needs." [29:18]

The conversation highlights the complexities of managing health through diet and supplements, emphasizing the need for individualized approaches.

Social Media Trends and Animal Behavior

The hosts touch upon the persistence of social media platforms like TikTok and the peculiar behavior of animals in fashion trends.

Rudy Jules expresses skepticism about TikTok’s longevity:

"I feel like the government and companies, they just put on these little shows for us and it's like fake." [26:43]

Chelsea Peretti humorously discusses orca whales wearing salmon as hats, blending absurdity with social commentary:

"How do you guys feel about animals having fashion shrubs?" [27:52]

This segment blends humor with observations on cultural trends, illustrating the podcast’s blend of comedy and insightful commentary.

Personal Stories and Birth Experiences

Towards the end, the guests share intimate stories about childbirth and personal challenges.

Rudy Jules recounts his birth experience, balancing euphoria with underlying fears:

"I was euphoric because I got to that point. But then I was also ignoring other things that maybe didn't go great." [60:35]

Nurse John shares a distressing memory of vomiting into a postmated bone broth and the subsequent emergency C-section:

"I thought I was genius. And then I yacked so hard... It was like a prank." [62:44]

Chelsea Peretti discusses her prolonged battle with Bell’s palsy and the emotional toll of medical procedures:

"My doctor said my bell's palsy would be gone in two weeks, and here we are two months later." [15:26]

These narratives provide a raw and candid look into personal health struggles, fostering a sense of vulnerability and connection among listeners.

Conclusion and Final Thoughts

As the episode wraps up, the hosts continue their playful banter about food preferences and tease upcoming projects.

Rudy Jules encourages listeners to watch Chelsea’s movie on Roku and promotes his own podcast:

"You don't have to get the Roku. I wish I had made that clearer in the past." [67:02]

The episode concludes with expressions of appreciation for the guests and a promise to continue exploring diverse and engaging topics in future episodes.

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Notable Quotes

• Rudy Jules:
  "You are so good, too. No, I. I just think of my dog as this innocent little being, and I never want to think of her, like, having any, like, human struggles." [31:15]

• Chelsea Peretti:
  "When I first came from the Philippines, I was 15... I just had..." [21:15]

• Nurse John:
  "You should see Esther's doctor. You're tight." [45:14]

---

Final Remarks

This episode of "Trash Tuesday" masterfully blends humor with poignant discussions on health, personal experiences, and societal trends. Through candid conversations and relatable anecdotes, hosts Khalyla Kuhn and Esther Povitsky, alongside their guests Chelsea Peretti and Rudy Jules, offer listeners a mix of laughter and thoughtful insights, staying true to their description as "2 S.L.U.G.S (Sexy Little Ugly Girls) unloading their trauma, intrusive thoughts, and wild takes."

Transcript

[Jules]

Hey comedy fans. The funniest comedians in the world are on tour and you can get tickets to see them live near you. Laugh at the biggest names in comedy like Atsuka Okatsuka, Chelsea Handler, Corey Holcomb, Matt Matthews, Nurse John, Ralph Barboza, Ronny Chang, Sarah Silverman, Sebastian Maniscalco, Wanda Sykes and so many more. All kinds of shows, all kinds of venues, all kinds of funny. Head to livenation.comcomedy to get your tickets today. That's livenation.comcomedy as the constipation queen Jules.

[Chelsea Peretti]

What has worked the best?

[Esther Povitsky]

Matcha.

[Nurse John]

Really?

[Esther Povitsky]

That's what I do every morning. I drink matcha or coffee and then I just.

[Nurse John]

But sometimes you're a woman of few words, but when you speak it, you really make it count.

[Ralph Barboza]

Slugs. I am so excited to share with you that I am acting on a scripted podcast that is exclusively available on Audible. It's called Very Unbecoming and if you like this show, I know you will love it. Check it out. I also have a solo podcast available at esthergrouptherapy.substack.com linked below and Chicago, San Francisco, Vancouver. I will be in those cities and I think you can get tickets somewhere. Probably the link in my Instagram bio. I can't wait to see you guys. That'll all be happening in the new year.

[Chelsea Peretti]

You guys see Esther's beautiful hair?

[Ralph Barboza]

Who me? That's because EB Ocean Club.

[Chelsea Peretti]

EB Ocean Club is clean hair care for everybody. It's a brand that I launched this year. Go to eboceanclub.com or follow EB Ocean Club on Instagram.

[Ralph Barboza]

I love it so much. I keep it at my parents house. I keep it in my bathroom. I just. It makes me feel like I'm a little ocean princess. So thank you for inventing it for me personally.

[Chelsea Peretti]

You're very welcome. Go to Ebocean Club or at E. Ocean Club on Instagram.

[Ralph Barboza]

Start your free online Visit today at forhers.com Trash Tuesday that's F-O-R-H-E-R-S.com Trash Tuesday for your personalized weight loss treatments. For hers.com Trash Tuesday hers weight loss is not available everywhere. Compounded products are not FDA approved or verified for safety, effectiveness or quality. Prescription required. Restrictions apply. We go via Zempic. Are not compounded. Well, welcome back.

[Nurse John]

Thank you.

[Ralph Barboza]

Ready?

[Nurse John]

Thank you.

[Ralph Barboza]

Also 200th episode guys.

[Nurse John]

Oh my goodness. What an honor.

[Ralph Barboza]

Yeah.

[Nurse John]

What an honor. Congrats.

[Ralph Barboza]

Pin picked. Our favorite guest. Truly our favorite guests.

[Nurse John]

Really?

[Ralph Barboza]

I mean come on.

[Nurse John]

You know that I You know, listen, a repeat podcast appearance.

[Ralph Barboza]

We're very lucky.

[Nurse John]

I really enjoyed myself as well.

[Chelsea Peretti]

Or the lighting.

[Nurse John]

And what I'm realizing, it's like, actually this is how you hang out with people. It's like in la, you have to like kind of pitch a project if you want to see your friends. You're like, should we get together to write and then they'll actually show up?

[Ralph Barboza]

Are you traumatized by the last time we hung out and how I was in a zombie catatonic new mom state?

[Nurse John]

No.

[Ralph Barboza]

You're not traumatized by that?

[Nurse John]

Look how tender I am when you ask that. No. Being a new mom is a whole journey.

[Ralph Barboza]

Okay, well, you didn't walk away like, wow, I've. Esther's. I'm.

[Nurse John]

That's.

[Ralph Barboza]

She's not doing good.

[Nurse John]

I mean, I don't know what I. I wasn't sure what was going on, but like, you didn't seem like you were like, I'm. The baby's in danger. But I did feel like you seemed like, you know, maybe a little listless.

[Chelsea Peretti]

Listless? Well, she has chickenpox.

[Ralph Barboza]

I don't have chickenpox.

[Chelsea Peretti]

Show me your body.

[Nurse John]

You would go to like a chickenpox party?

[Ralph Barboza]

I would. No, I got chickenpox at Disney World like all the other little kids.

[Chelsea Peretti]

Wait, can you show us what happened?

[Nurse John]

Oh my God. What is that?

[Ralph Barboza]

I woke up in the middle of the night. I'm like, I have chickenpox. I'm like itching at Google. Chickenpox. But it's not.

[Nurse John]

It would be. What is it? Rickets or whatever. When it comes back, when you're old, it's not really shingles.

[Ralph Barboza]

I've already had shingles, so.

[Nurse John]

You did not. That's for like people in their elder years.

[Ralph Barboza]

I had it at 25.

[Nurse John]

How?

[Ralph Barboza]

I was really stressed out. It was cuz I first started. I. When I was 25 was the first time I had coffee. And I think that gave me shingles. Cuz I got really excited about coffee and like how it made me feel and I think that gave me stress.

[Chelsea Peretti]

But where did you get it? What part?

[Ralph Barboza]

Shingles. I had it like this.

[Chelsea Peretti]

Wait, but your chicken pox now is all the way up to your armpit?

[Ralph Barboza]

Yeah, I have it all over, but it's bug bites. I changed my sheets.

[Chelsea Peretti]

Okay. That's my night. That was my next question.

[Nurse John]

I don't know. That seems like bedbugs or something, right?

[Chelsea Peretti]

I think so. That's what I was wondering and afraid of was bedbugs. In which case we have to Burn this whole studio down.

[Ralph Barboza]

But Dave doesn't have any bites.

[Chelsea Peretti]

But does he?

[Ralph Barboza]

But he lies about his bedbugs.

[Nurse John]

Don't bite men. I was gonna see if you would believe me, but it's too. It's too pointed.

[Chelsea Peretti]

How do you change your sheets?

[Nurse John]

Wow, we're starting out with a bang. Esther, how often do you change your sheets? Okay, first you guys go, I don' I don't handle that.

[Ralph Barboza]

But how often does it get handled?

[Nurse John]

No idea.

[Ralph Barboza]

Really?

[Nurse John]

I was honestly thinking about that today. Like, should I ask? And then I was like, who cares? They seem pretty clean. You know, I'm.

[Chelsea Peretti]

Once a week or once? One and a half. What about you, Jules?

[Esther Povitsky]

Once a month.

[Chelsea Peretti]

Oh, yeah. Once a month. Yeah. Young, Young.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barboza]

I think I'm still on my teen mmi. Teen era when it comes to sheets.

[Chelsea Peretti]

So what's that?

[Ralph Barboza]

You know, definitely once a month. But if I wake up with a lot of bites or donut brought a lot of like dust into the bed and san, maybe the next day I'll throw a load in. I don't know.

[Nurse John]

They love bringing that stuff into the bed. The dogs.

[Ralph Barboza]

Yeah. Does your dog sleep in your bed?

[Nurse John]

No.

[Chelsea Peretti]

What?

[Nurse John]

I know you look like you, like, hoped you had a friend in that. I think first of all, even small dogs can just take up the whole bed. Like it's crazy. And I can't deal with that. Like, I can't cuddle someone and fall asleep. That stands for humans and dogs. Like, I need to be in my own little sleep chamber. Yeah. But I do have his bed at the foot of our bed on a bench. Is that acceptable? Is that nurturing?

[Chelsea Peretti]

I think so.

[Nurse John]

Yet boundaries. So first of all, I brought this because I felt like you would like it. Esther, what is it? This is cinnamon snickerdoodle nut butter. I brought you one. Sorry, I didn't know you were gonna be here.

[Ralph Barboza]

Where did you get this?

[Nurse John]

I felt like I could see you sucking that down. I got it at a little known shop. I also brought a passion fruit chocolate bar that I must be about your fruit loves. As well as a strawberry chocolate bar that's such chocolate.

[Chelsea Peretti]

Wow. This one might be the winner though.

[Nurse John]

Yeah, but I don't know. Strawberry could be good. You never know. And then I of course brought two scones for Rum Proof.

[Chelsea Peretti]

I love.

[Nurse John]

I've never had their scones though, so I don't know. They're walnut, ginger. Interesting flavor combo.

[Ralph Barboza]

Interesting. I recently did have a ginger scone and was pleasantly surprised by it. Now, Proof is a bakery where there's always a long line.

[Nurse John]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barboza]

So these should be a good scone.

[Chelsea Peretti]

Yeah, if you get a proof. I've never been. Because the line is bocadillo sandwiches.

[Nurse John]

The little baguettes.

[Chelsea Peretti]

Yeah, the baguettes.

[Ralph Barboza]

Should we have a scone showdown? Why not?

[Chelsea Peretti]

I'm just really into this Lilikoi, but we'll see.

[Nurse John]

Look how many lipsticks were in my pocket.

[Ralph Barboza]

That's a mad woman.

[Nurse John]

Four liners and three lips.

[Ralph Barboza]

Are those all currently present on the face?

[Nurse John]

I think so. I'm having, like, a bit of a breakdown.

[Ralph Barboza]

Say more.

[Nurse John]

I wore my trench coat. I'm like, you know what? I just got this on a sale. And I was like, I've worn it to everything I've been to. And it's. I just started feeling like a school shooter. I'm like, I need to take this off. And then, yeah, makeup wise, I'm going back to the waterline. I don't know.

[Chelsea Peretti]

Did the waterline just disappear for a few years? Was that it?

[Nurse John]

For, I think, decades, yeah.

[Ralph Barboza]

And I don't know why, because I've always loved when you. I love a waterline. Oh, but it is not good for you.

[Nurse John]

Right Dead by the end of the episode. I don't know. Nothing really is. We're all full of plastic. It's like, yeah.

[Chelsea Peretti]

Do the young kids do waterline? Jules?

[Esther Povitsky]

I haven't seen anyone do the waterline.

[Chelsea Peretti]

Have I been just waterlining all these years and no one's told me?

[Nurse John]

Why did I do it? Why did I do it?

[Ralph Barboza]

Wait, nobody.

[Nurse John]

Oh, I saw it. I saw someone do it online. Of course that's why. Oh, why do you do anything no.

[Ralph Barboza]

One else is trying? The passion for chocolate.

[Chelsea Peretti]

I just needed her to open it. But then she passed it to you.

[Ralph Barboza]

Oh, sorry. By the way, this is pretty rude of you because, you know, I don't like. I don't think fruit is really a dessert. I think fruit flavor.

[Nurse John]

That's not fruit. It's chocolate. It's not. I mean, there's no way. No doctor would be like, eat that. It's fruit.

[Ralph Barboza]

But it's a fruit flavored chocolate. How is this even chocolate?

[Nurse John]

I don't know. It also looks like white chocolate, which is not really chocolate.

[Chelsea Peretti]

It's good.

[Nurse John]

It's very good.

[Chelsea Peretti]

It's very good. Esther, Fruits, not dessert. Like any fruit.

[Ralph Barboza]

Everyone, hold on.

[Nurse John]

It's interesting, though.

[Ralph Barboza]

Yeah. See, you both are so quick to go.

[Esther Povitsky]

It's good.

[Ralph Barboza]

But now, interesting.

[Nurse John]

Well, I liked the tart, but then it almost has, like, a tea flavor.

[Ralph Barboza]

It almost feels like it.

[Nurse John]

And like it's too much like a fruit. Whatever. That's enough. That's enough of that. I would never eat it again. Interesting. Gives us a few minutes of content. That's all you can really ask for.

[Chelsea Peretti]

What do you think?

[Nurse John]

It's really good. Which is why I love passion fruit.

[Ralph Barboza]

I actually kind of do like it.

[Nurse John]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barboza]

But it's weird.

[Chelsea Peretti]

I. I'm not tasting the passion fruit.

[Nurse John]

I mean, let's say this. It like Halloween was recent. I ate a lot of my son's candy. It's like it doesn't compare to a Twix in any way. It's probably 10 times the cost.

[Ralph Barboza]

Thank you so much. Because I'm actually shocked to hear you say that because I feel like you prefer like more high end, intricate, less sugary desserts. But it is. You just said this and I can't.

[Nurse John]

I like we have it on camera.

[Ralph Barboza]

No, like Twix you. There's no fine chocolate or fine fancy dessert that is better than a Twix. A Snicker. Snickers. Sorry, the plural. Or just like the regular candy bars.

[Nurse John]

Slide is not good.

[Ralph Barboza]

Okay. She's.

[Nurse John]

That's all I can think about.

[Ralph Barboza]

She tuned me out.

[Nurse John]

I. I mean, I. I could argue with you about it. I don't even know where my heart really lies. I do think that expensive milk chocolate is amazing. You know, I convinced myself dark chocolate is good because you're a grown up. I'm fat. But I. I do think expensive milk chocolate's amazing and probably does blow a Twix out of the water in the right situation. But I don't know. It's like Mac and cheese. Right? Like, Kraft is always going to be bomb.

[Chelsea Peretti]

I love craft.

[Nurse John]

Yeah. And Stouffer's. I grew up eating a lot of Stouffer's microwave Mac and cheese.

[Chelsea Peretti]

For me it was the ravioli. The can.

[Nurse John]

Ravioli is Chef Boyardee.

[Chelsea Peretti]

Chef Boyardee is still.

[Ralph Barboza]

Oh my God. SpaghettiOs.

[Chelsea Peretti]

Never got into that.

[Ralph Barboza]

That's like the best taste to me.

[Chelsea Peretti]

Well, you can taste the aluminum. Like it's just the best. It's the nostalgia. Same with like Velveeta. No, no.

[Nurse John]

I'm really in a Christmas present kind of state of mind. I'm doing it what I consider early this year, but I realized it's in two weeks. But I would get you. If I were close enough to get you a Christmas present.

[Ralph Barboza]

Let's hang out a lot in the next few days.

[Nurse John]

I would get. I would try to find you a vintage Chef Boyardee shirt.

[Ralph Barboza]

Well, I think that's what you should get her.

[Chelsea Peretti]

But you want the SpaghettiOs.

[Nurse John]

Spaghetti.

[Ralph Barboza]

Oh, spaghetti. Yeah.

[Nurse John]

Vintage SpaghettiOs.

[Ralph Barboza]

Oh, are you're, like, on a vintage shirt? Yeah, Journey.

[Nurse John]

Like, this is vintage.

[Ralph Barboza]

And do you. Do you.

[Chelsea Peretti]

That one?

[Nurse John]

It's really cute.

[Chelsea Peretti]

Mine is two, but I don't know where it's from.

[Ralph Barboza]

Where do you search? Like ebay or.

[Nurse John]

No, I go into brick and mortar stores. Have you ever heard of those?

[Ralph Barboza]

No. Tell me.

[Nurse John]

It's like an actual building. You can enter and then there's items in it. So it's old school, but I kind of, as a throwback, a little hat tip to yesteryear, I go into stores and purchase items. So that's cool. I can't say where I go.

[Chelsea Peretti]

Raggedy threads in Little Tokyo. No, it's a good one.

[Nurse John]

It's a good name. Is it in that little square where that.

[Chelsea Peretti]

Yeah, it is.

[Nurse John]

Oh, then maybe I have been in there.

[Chelsea Peretti]

Good stuff.

[Ralph Barboza]

Should we try the scone?

[Chelsea Peretti]

Yeah.

[Nurse John]

Oh, yeah.

[Chelsea Peretti]

From proof.

[Ralph Barboza]

Have you had you. Have you had a scone there before?

[Nurse John]

I don't think I've had these. Oop, that. Let me tell you. This feels so promising. Not for my cholesterol, but for this bit.

[Ralph Barboza]

Wait, did I tell you that I have high cholesterol, too?

[Chelsea Peretti]

Wait, do we all.

[Ralph Barboza]

Hey. What?

[Chelsea Peretti]

I have high cholesterol?

[Nurse John]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barboza]

Did you ever fix it?

[Nurse John]

No.

[Ralph Barboza]

Do you have any tips?

[Nurse John]

Oh, my God. Bad timing. You eat scones and then get on Lipitora.

[Ralph Barboza]

Okay.

[Nurse John]

I don't know. I think I'm gonna get on Lipitor.

[Ralph Barboza]

Okay.

[Chelsea Peretti]

How high are we talking?

[Nurse John]

I blot it out. Yeah, I brought everything out. This is amazing.

[Chelsea Peretti]

There was a scone off. There was a big scone debate. Right, Esther, your stance on scone was.

[Ralph Barboza]

I don't remember. This one's perfect.

[Nurse John]

This one is. This is an amazing scone.

[Chelsea Peretti]

This is great.

[Nurse John]

Even our young naysayer likes it.

[Chelsea Peretti]

Ginger. What else?

[Ralph Barboza]

Oh, my God.

[Nurse John]

Walnut.

[Chelsea Peretti]

Walnut.

[Ralph Barboza]

Yeah.

[Nurse John]

That's good. That's incredible.

[Ralph Barboza]

Let's talk about why hard.

[Chelsea Peretti]

I can't believe you guys are agreeing.

[Nurse John]

I mean, hard is the strangest word for this. It's like flaky, light, buttery, hard outside.

[Ralph Barboza]

Well, because you know why hard? You're not going to find that in any good pastry. You're not going to find hard. Except for scone.

[Nurse John]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barboza]

So that's. To me, a hardness is what's a scone makes it.

[Nurse John]

I don't know if this would apply to scones, but I feel like it's called, like, Crumb in cake baking. Like the outer browned exterior. But maybe not for scones. But it's the flaky, crunchy exterior with the soft. It's almost like a biscuit. We've discussed that, right?

[Ralph Barboza]

That scones are like biscuits? I don't think we have, and I don't think they are like biscuits.

[Chelsea Peretti]

Oh, yeah, These are crumbly, but not flaky. I wouldn't say flaky. Crumbly.

[Nurse John]

Are you trying to fight with me?

[Chelsea Peretti]

Yeah.

[Nurse John]

Oh, you want it to be our fight this time?

[Chelsea Peretti]

Flaky is like a croissant. Right.

[Nurse John]

I mean, to me, I guess you're right in the sense of, like, oh, my God, I'm literally covered in crumbs.

[Ralph Barboza]

I know. By the way, that's a flaw of the scone.

[Nurse John]

And my doctor, I'm like, I eat pretty healthy. She's like, your cholesterol's through the roof. I'm like, no, no. And then you just close up on crumbs, covering my entire shirt and lap. I guess flaky isn't the right word. Something about that light, buttery feel makes me think of flaky. Sorry.

[Chelsea Peretti]

How high is your cholesterol ester?

[Ralph Barboza]

I don't know. I don't know. I don't want to know.

[Nurse John]

Oh, my God. It's in my hair and everything.

[Chelsea Peretti]

The gym bros, you know, they think high cholesterol is, like, a myth.

[Nurse John]

Really?

[Chelsea Peretti]

Yeah. Because I think if you go on, like, a. If your diet is, like, predominantly meat, protein, good fats, then your cholesterol is naturally. That's their belief. So they kind of just, like, don't listen to doctors who say they have high cholesterol. So I don't know.

[Ralph Barboza]

I do feel like cholesterol is more of a mindset.

[Chelsea Peretti]

Okay.

[Ralph Barboza]

Like, at least that's what I thought until I got my test results, but I just assumed because I'm.

[Chelsea Peretti]

I saw your test results, but your. Your good cholesterol is also high.

[Ralph Barboza]

Exactly.

[Chelsea Peretti]

I think it's, like, too much of a concern, really. Yeah.

[Nurse John]

My good is high, too.

[Ralph Barboza]

Do you also feel like doctors don't know what they're doing? Anyone? Do you feel like you're getting mixed messages from your doctors? Anyone out there?

[Chelsea Peretti]

Let me see. My doctor said my bell's palsy would be gone in two weeks, and here we are two months later.

[Nurse John]

That's crazy.

[Chelsea Peretti]

So.

[Ralph Barboza]

But it's so much better.

[Chelsea Peretti]

It is, but, I mean, my eyes still can't close. Right.

[Nurse John]

So sorry I'm turned away from you while I empathize with you Hunting for my light.

[Ralph Barboza]

Oh, no. Oh, no.

[Nurse John]

That's so sad about your Bell's palsy. Two months is insane, girl.

[Chelsea Peretti]

Thank you. By the way, the. The acupuncturist you whose info you get sent me is so good. So, so good.

[Nurse John]

I mean, I should try this person. I got a recommendation from a friend who had Bell's palsy. Oh, yeah. But I've never been.

[Chelsea Peretti]

Yeah. Poke. Acupuncture. Oh, yeah. Yeah, he's great. I cry every session.

[Ralph Barboza]

Why?

[Chelsea Peretti]

Because it's more than just acupuncture. It's like a whole, like, mind experience.

[Ralph Barboza]

Like, he's talking to you or what?

[Chelsea Peretti]

Yeah, like he said. I'm not kidding. He does. And he has all these little, like, profound little things, like, in the room that you can read. And it's just like. It's a really, like a. It's a whole body mind experience.

[Ralph Barboza]

That's sort of how I am experiencing my pelvic floor. Physical therapy. It's become.

[Nurse John]

Are they sticking a finger in your badge? Yeah, they are. Really? Oh, my God, Esther, I can't believe you're doing that.

[Ralph Barboza]

And can I tell you, it is. It's. It's mind blowing because they're. What?

[Nurse John]

Just funny.

[Ralph Barboza]

They're sticking a finger in my vagina.

[Nurse John]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barboza]

And like, pressing on certain muscles in there. And you go, okay, someone's in my vagina. This must be sexual. No, it literally just feels like if you had a really tight, like, massage that you needed, like a tight muscle, it just. It's like, oh, my God, I needed that. I needed that. But it's weird because someone is inside your vagina and it's. But it's not sexual.

[Nurse John]

Makes me so icked out.

[Ralph Barboza]

And you know what? That's why I'm here.

[Nurse John]

Like, I want to be more evolved. But I have a friend who also was doing this same therapy.

[Esther Povitsky]

Why do they have to massage your vagina?

[Nurse John]

What an innocent question.

[Ralph Barboza]

Because I have a hypertonic pelvic floor, which means that it's like, really?

[Nurse John]

They sell it at Air1. That's what it means. It's a little tonic you can purchase at Air1.

[Ralph Barboza]

No, it means my vagina is really tight, but in a bad way. In a very bad way.

[Chelsea Peretti]

Only after pregnancy or always?

[Nurse John]

That was my question.

[Ralph Barboza]

Only after.

[Chelsea Peretti]

But it was it, like, imagine getting tighter after pregnancy.

[Ralph Barboza]

No, I know. I literally was like, I don't need a pelvic floor therapist because I thought you would only need it if, like, your is falling out. And it turns out you could need it for the opposite reason.

[Chelsea Peretti]

The other side of it, though, my friend got a prolapse after giving birth and she does have to tuck it back in.

[Nurse John]

What does that mean? What does that mean? Her vag or her ass?

[Chelsea Peretti]

Well, you can get both, Chelsea.

[Nurse John]

Okay, cool.

[Chelsea Peretti]

You can have a little rattlesnake rattler. You're in anal prolapse, but your vag can literally, like, drop out of itself.

[Nurse John]

And what do you do for that?

[Chelsea Peretti]

Push it back in?

[Nurse John]

No way. Surgery.

[Chelsea Peretti]

That's when you really have a pelvic floor. Like, therapist. I'm sure there's this procedure you can do, but she just kind of was like, she had a really traumatic birth and she was like, fudge it. I never want anyone, like, prodding in there again. So now she just has to carry her vagina around.

[Ralph Barboza]

I'm telling you, if someone put some fingers in there and just like, pressed.

[Nurse John]

Like, Dave fucking you, right? Wait, hold on. So, okay, here's my question. How did you know you needed this therapy?

[Ralph Barboza]

I didn't for a long time and was a lot of, like, trial and error. But basically I had all these symptoms that were, like, mimicking, like, as though I had, like, an infection. So it would be like, always oozing.

[Nurse John]

Like, oozing cottage cheese?

[Ralph Barboza]

No, like, always burning on fire. Like, really irritated, really tense. And the doctors were like, there's. We're tested.

[Nurse John]

You.

[Ralph Barboza]

There's nothing. There's nothing. And I was like, trust me, it's on fire. Like.

[Nurse John]

And the doctor's like, let me test you again. Sticks his fingers up your crotch. Okay. This is just a standard test. And like, he just keeps testing you over and over. So hot.

[Chelsea Peretti]

Well, that's what happened to me.

[Ralph Barboza]

I know.

[Chelsea Peretti]

Cool.

[Nurse John]

I am so sorry.

[Ralph Barboza]

Then be really careful around here. That is literally how she was more.

[Nurse John]

Oh, my God.

[Chelsea Peretti]

When I first came.

[Nurse John]

What a rat's nest. Hornet's nest. What is the nest? I've stepped into a nest of badness. Sorry.

[Chelsea Peretti]

When I first came from. When I first came from the Philippines, I was 15. And I didn't know, like, how any type of, like, medical procedures were supposed to be conducted. And my family doctor, I would go in for a cold or, like, a hurt shoulder, and he would give me a pelvic exam every single time. And he would give my sister a full, like, exploratory anal exam. And then we were too ignorant to think. We were just like, wow, American healthcare is so thorough. That's literally what we thought. He would give us a head to toe. And it wasn't until later on when I went to nursing school where my. One of my instructors was like, wait, why did you get that many pelvic exams? And I was like, oh, because I had a thorough doctor. And he was like, no. And then I looked up the guy over the pandemic, and he lost his license. He. I just had.

[Nurse John]

Where's my camera? This is up. Oh, they're both pointing to different cameras. Oh, no, I know. It's not that. Okay, that's up.

[Ralph Barboza]

I know, I know.

[Nurse John]

Damn.

[Ralph Barboza]

Yeah, not so funny anymore. But.

[Nurse John]

Well, listen, abuse is prevalent and horrific, but, God, I mean.

[Ralph Barboza]

Nothing to say.

[Nurse John]

I'm self editing. I'm self editing. No, that's. That's psychotic. And. But, yeah, I just. It's hard for me to think. I don't know, just someone sticking their fingers in your cooch. I know that that is physical therapy, postpartum or whatever, but it would be so hard for me to feel like this was a professional. It is.

[Ralph Barboza]

It is, though. It's a. It's a doctor.

[Nurse John]

No, I know it is. I know it is. And, like, I went to physical therapy after my baby as well, because I had diastasis, or I still do because you. You can only fix it with surgery. So basically, you can improve it by strengthening your core or whatever. And I went to physical therapy for that. And she was like, in the US there's no postpartum health care, whereas in other countries, it's like, for a year, you're getting physical therapy or this or that, and. And here they're just like, bye.

[Ralph Barboza]

It's so crazy. And I thought I was fine, and then it wasn't until, like, maybe six months postpartum where I was like, oh, no, I'm actually having a serious issue. And I actually read this art. This interview with, you know, the actress Sasha Mamet?

[Nurse John]

Y.

[Ralph Barboza]

She.

[Nurse John]

Was that how you say it?

[Ralph Barboza]

I don't know, but I was only reading the article. But she had a similar thing where she said that for years she thought she had UTIs and she would keep getting tested, and they're like, you're negative for UTIs. And she was, like, driving her crazy, and she found out it was the same thing. Hypertonic pelvic floor.

[Nurse John]

Wow. So it can cause so many people are listening right now with their pussy stinging out of control, and they're like, by Jeeves, I've got it.

[Ralph Barboza]

I hope so, because it was actually really horrible.

[Chelsea Peretti]

What about urea plasma?

[Nurse John]

What the hell? You have that too?

[Chelsea Peretti]

No, I think this is what I had for a Long time. And I don't think they test it at any gynecologist because it is something, apparently. I just learned about this. You can pass it back and forth between you and your partner. Because I used to get frequent UTIs when I was in my 20s, but only with a single part.

[Nurse John]

Oh, listen, honey, there. There are some. Some people who I've dated. I had infections on a constant basis. It's like. I think it's people who don't, like, have oral hygiene, something. Make of that what you will, but you don't brush your teeth, and I'm breaking out in hives. I'm gonna. But. No, I'm just kidding. I didn't have hives, but I did get, like, frequent problems with certain people.

[Chelsea Peretti]

Yeah, that.

[Ralph Barboza]

Yeah, that's so real. I feel like you've talked about that, like, where it's like your bacteria doesn't match up or something, or.

[Chelsea Peretti]

We were pop. Now that I know what your urea plasma is, I think that's what I had, because it. It mimics the symptoms of, like, UTIs or BV or yeast infection. And it was only with this one guy over and over and.

[Nurse John]

Name him. People are so into naming people now. Name him. It's not your fault.

[Chelsea Peretti]

Yeah. Congrats on your pelvic floor.

[Nurse John]

So how often do you have to do that?

[Ralph Barboza]

I go once a week, but it's not all that. It's like. I also do, like. I'm working on strengthening, like, the surrounding muscles and all. It's like normal physical therapy, except someone.

[Nurse John]

So. So you're like. Are you. Is it like you're laying? Like you're gonna get a pap smear or something?

[Ralph Barboza]

It's like. No, just. Just laying regular. No, my legs aren't in the straps.

[Chelsea Peretti]

Oh, the stirrups?

[Ralph Barboza]

Yeah, it's more.

[Nurse John]

Your legs are together and they're having to force their way.

[Ralph Barboza]

No, they're just laying. I don't know.

[Nurse John]

Huh.

[Ralph Barboza]

Butterfly position.

[Chelsea Peretti]

Jules, have you finally got your pap smear?

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah, last year, I think.

[Nurse John]

How was it?

[Esther Povitsky]

I was scared at first because I kept seeing videos on TikTok where it's. They said, like, it's so painful. Like, it's so scary. Yeah. And then I got it, and then the girl. The doctor just put the thing.

[Chelsea Peretti]

Her.

[Esther Povitsky]

Something.

[Nurse John]

Yeah.

[Esther Povitsky]

And then it was fine. It wasn't that scary.

[Nurse John]

No. I wonder who's saying it hurts so bad. Why would a pap smear hurt really bad?

[Chelsea Peretti]

I think, like, IUD placements, I think, is supposed to be, like, very, very Painful for some. And then they don't offer any type of like pain control or anything like. That sucks.

[Ralph Barboza]

I think pap smears though. If you are like clenching it can that then it hurts.

[Chelsea Peretti]

We all don't have tight like you, you're like.

[Nurse John]

I don't know how to put this, but if you have an extremely tight. What A journey through pelvic health. Floor health.

[Ralph Barboza]

Yeah. So that's my story. I have a question for everybody, but specifically you. How are we feeling about TikTok maybe going away forever?

[Nurse John]

Does it really?

[Ralph Barboza]

I don't believe in it.

[Chelsea Peretti]

There's been constant threats to TikTok though. I feel like, well, they're.

[Esther Povitsky]

They're always going to make something else other than after TikTok. Because before TikTok there was vines musically.

[Chelsea Peretti]

Yeah.

[Nurse John]

So I know I honestly, like, I haven't really managed to catch the bug for TikTok.

[Chelsea Peretti]

How do you get your impression?

[Nurse John]

I don't know. I just haven't like. And it's weird because I'm very addictive with technology and different communities, but for whatever reason, I've just not. I'll go on there and I'll make stuff. But like in terms of scrolling for hours as like people in my family have said they do, young people. I'm like, I just am not.

[Ralph Barboza]

I just sort of think that it's all like a hoax and a fraud, that it'll go away. Like, I feel like the government and companies, they just put on these little shows for us and it's like fake. Okay.

[Chelsea Peretti]

I see those orcas wearing salmons as hats.

[Ralph Barboza]

What? What did you say?

[Chelsea Peretti]

Of all people, you.

[Nurse John]

I would have, but I haven't. I mean, I will. I probably will tonight. See it.

[Chelsea Peretti]

So as a fashion trend, there was an orca whale 37 years ago that started wearing salmon as a hat. And then the rest of the pod followed suit and they were like, wait, this is. This person is a fashionista trailblazer. We're all gonna wear salmons as hats. And then now they're seeing the trend again. They're seeing this other killer whale wearing the same hat. And it's. It's from the same lineage. They're suspecting of that Same killer whale 37 years ago who wore it. Who wore hats.

[Ralph Barboza]

But do they have hands? How do they put the hats on?

[Chelsea Peretti]

Esther? They're very mobile in the water. They can just float the salmon and then push their head up against it. Look at it.

[Ralph Barboza]

Oh, wait, but they. It's like sushi style salmon still.

[Chelsea Peretti]

I don't know about that picture. I think that's a, that's an AI one. My question basically is how do you guys feel about animals having fashion shrubs?

[Ralph Barboza]

Sad. Really sad, actually. I feel sad about that.

[Nurse John]

Orcas do all kinds of interesting stuff though. I mean, it is interesting. They seem to have generational things passed down like that.

[Chelsea Peretti]

Yeah, like Gladys, how she was taking down all of those boats in the Canary Islands. Did you hear about that?

[Nurse John]

I'm not on a first name basis with this orca like you are, but I have heard that story.

[Ralph Barboza]

I actually love that name though.

[Chelsea Peretti]

Gladys. Yeah, her name is Gladys and she had been hurt by a boat engine or propeller in the past. So she made it her mission to start taking down boats in the Canary Islands and then her, her homies, you know, jumped in on the trend.

[Jules]

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[Chelsea Peretti]

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[Ralph Barboza]

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[Chelsea Peretti]

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[Ralph Barboza]

Start your free online Visit [e-mail] TrashTuesday that's F O R H E-R dash.com TrashTuesday for your personalized weight loss weight loss treatments for hers.com Trash Tuesday hers weight loss is not available everywhere. Compounded products are not FDA approved or verified for safety, effectiveness or quality. Prescription required restrictions apply. We go Vienna Zembick are not compounded. I don't love the idea of animals and like getting involved in any kind of fashion Trend just because, like, fashion makes me so sad. Like, trends, like, trying to look good.

[Nurse John]

Really?

[Ralph Barboza]

Yeah.

[Nurse John]

I thought you were into it.

[Ralph Barboza]

I am, but it still makes me sad. And, like, when I think of my.

[Nurse John]

I think you have a similar fashion thing to me where it's like, you kind of feel like you want the look of, like, not trying.

[Ralph Barboza]

Yeah.

[Nurse John]

Because then you look cooler. Like, it's like, the worst. Some people really look good when they're being trendy and trying. But, like, for me, I feel in my comfort zone is like. I hate to say it, but, like, supermodel in her downtime. Yeah.

[Ralph Barboza]

Yeah. Celebrity at the airport.

[Nurse John]

That's what I'm always going for.

[Ralph Barboza]

Celebrity at the airport is like, what I. How I. That's like, the highest tier.

[Nurse John]

I see you as a fashion icon, though.

[Ralph Barboza]

Thank you. I feel the same about you.

[Nurse John]

You avoided eye contact as you said.

[Ralph Barboza]

Because I wanted to get back to animals.

[Nurse John]

Of course I feel the same.

[Ralph Barboza]

You are so good, too. No, I. I just think of my dog as this. Such this innocent little being, and I never want to think of her, like, having any, like, human struggles. I don't want to.

[Nurse John]

Your daughter, she's going to be like, can you buy me?

[Ralph Barboza]

I don't know. I also.

[Nurse John]

What age will you do fake nails for her?

[Ralph Barboza]

I never.

[Nurse John]

I don't see teenagers with, like, fake nails. And I had fake nails. Like, do you have them?

[Esther Povitsky]

Not right now. By you?

[Nurse John]

Yeah. Yeah. When did you start?

[Esther Povitsky]

Like, maybe 15, 16.

[Nurse John]

Yeah, I, like, started 13 acrylic nails.

[Ralph Barboza]

Me too.

[Nurse John]

And I'm like, at 13?

[Ralph Barboza]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Nurse John]

And I was like. I was like this in photo, and.

[Ralph Barboza]

It had an airbrush that said bitch on it.

[Nurse John]

Yeah. Like, shit. Like, giving the bird in my acrylic nails. There's a picture of me, like, in front of a Christmas tree with curling iron bangs. Fake acrylic nails that are, like frosty pink or something hot pink. And like a perm being like double finger to the camera, but now fully back, though. Perms.

[Chelsea Peretti]

Yeah, they're doing them really well now.

[Esther Povitsky]

I wanna. I wanna do it.

[Chelsea Peretti]

You're gonna permit. I know all the young kids are perming there.

[Nurse John]

Really? Because.

[Chelsea Peretti]

Because the new way to do it, the way the Korean do it, it. It's much healthier. It doesn't fry your hair for waves or for straight. Both.

[Nurse John]

Or even really straight. My hair right now is blown out, but if I don't blow it out, I feel like it's so frizzy and I'm like. I saw like, some. Oh, yeah, my pilates. Instructor. She has a straight perm.

[Chelsea Peretti]

Oh, well, that's like a Brazilian blowout, right?

[Nurse John]

She called it something else.

[Chelsea Peretti]

It is the same, right? What do you call in the Philippines? Ribbon Rivon.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barboza]

Wait, what do you want to get?

[Esther Povitsky]

It's the wavy one.

[Ralph Barboza]

Just wavy.

[Nurse John]

It is a little wavy though, right?

[Esther Povitsky]

It's some. But I don't know how to style it and I don't want to curl it every day. So I think I just want to permit.

[Chelsea Peretti]

Because you have very thick, heavy hair.

[Nurse John]

I'm curious to see the perms online and what they've come to now because mine was so bad.

[Ralph Barboza]

What style was it in?

[Nurse John]

I mean, I. I don't even think you could call it a style. It was just like. Yeah, I'll show you a picture. But it was just like the worst. Like, not waves, almost like. I think it. Like it looks like spiral because they set your hair in rollers.

[Chelsea Peretti]

Oh, like the quinceanera spirals.

[Nurse John]

Yeah. Like it just. I mean, not like that, but like, it just was so bad. And then I had those bone straight bangs because I curled them with a curling iron and braces and fake nails.

[Ralph Barboza]

Yeah, I had the big nails. Young too.

[Chelsea Peretti]

That's crazy.

[Ralph Barboza]

I know. It's gross.

[Chelsea Peretti]

My mom had this. My mom and dad try to infantilize me for as long as possible. So we weren't like. We weren't allowed makeup. We weren't allowed nail. We weren't even allowed deodorant or a razor.

[Nurse John]

Well, you're lucky that you're naturally gorgeous.

[Chelsea Peretti]

Oh, I was super hairy. And my tits.

[Nurse John]

You weren't allowed a razor.

[Chelsea Peretti]

We were. I wasn't even allowed a training bra. Like, my tits were budding and it.

[Nurse John]

Just turned a corner.

[Chelsea Peretti]

This is really dark.

[Nurse John]

Cult vibes.

[Chelsea Peretti]

Yes. And then my parents, like, my dad was very like, when we were home, I was 10 years old and he was like, you know, they don't need to wear. I could stay in my underwear all day and I would walk to the fruit stand across the street in my underwear as like a 10 year old. I was like infantilized in that way. It was weird. Chelsea. And then got fingered by the family doctor. So.

[Nurse John]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Peretti]

Yeah.

[Nurse John]

It's all starting to come together to paint a picture.

[Chelsea Peretti]

Thank you.

[Nurse John]

I forget what this is. You eat bananas. Why?

[Chelsea Peretti]

Potassium.

[Ralph Barboza]

Just admit it at halftime.

[Chelsea Peretti]

It's heart healthy.

[Ralph Barboza]

If you want. If you're, you know.

[Chelsea Peretti]

Yeah. If you're in.

[Nurse John]

I mean. So you just started doing that because, I mean, it seems pretty extreme for just a casual thing. Right.

[Chelsea Peretti]

Well, it's. It's actually because I eat bananas every single day, and it's just a food that I cannot live without. So we just start eating bananas on the show.

[Ralph Barboza]

Case you need a snack in case tensions are high.

[Nurse John]

I just don't know that I need a full banana right now.

[Ralph Barboza]

You don't need to. A foot long banana?

[Nurse John]

No. And it says of course. Okay. So I just want to make clear to the listener, I myself have a podcast. It's called Call Chelsea Peretti. I talk about food all the time on it. And one of the episodes that we did, we did a Trader Joe's taste test. Me and Adam Scott of, like, all these foods they have, and every single thing he brought had peanut butter in it. And this does as well, right? No. Did it say peanut butter or just butter?

[Chelsea Peretti]

Butter's coffee.

[Nurse John]

Oh, sorry. I have ptsd. Or should I say pbsd? Peanut butter. Suck my dick.

[Ralph Barboza]

Okay. Mini salted pretzels tossed in buttery toffee. Obviously that's gonna be good, I would think.

[Nurse John]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barboza]

Okay. Knockoff Ferrero Rocher. Oh, that also looks really good.

[Nurse John]

His chair height is insane. Why don't you think? Because if you're. I don't know, if your legs are down, you're, like, sunken like this. If you sit up in that thing, you're like.

[Ralph Barboza]

I don't know, it's probably like the perfect chair for Bill Burr. Like this. We're in the Bill Burr studio today.

[Nurse John]

That's.

[Ralph Barboza]

Oh, I love a gummy with a white layer. Italian amaretti cookies. What are these?

[Chelsea Peretti]

So these are all the holiday ones.

[Ralph Barboza]

French onion popcorn is really scary.

[Chelsea Peretti]

This bag is massive.

[Ralph Barboza]

This is crazy. Wait, this is amazing. I. I don't even like French onion soup. You have to try this.

[Nurse John]

I just made actually, a popcorn at home that I think you would really like.

[Ralph Barboza]

What?

[Nurse John]

I. First of all, I popped it in a Dutch oven. You can do that?

[Ralph Barboza]

I usually. I have like, a stove top thing that I spin like this.

[Nurse John]

Yeah, but you really don't even need to. You just. You do it in the Dutch oven. You just shake it a few times as it's popping.

[Ralph Barboza]

Whoa.

[Nurse John]

Then I put lemon olive oil on it and spirulina and. And nutritional yeast and truffle salt. It was so good.

[Ralph Barboza]

That sounds really good. Is the olive oil like lemon infused olive oil? What?

[Nurse John]

I do not like French onion popcorn.

[Ralph Barboza]

You don't like onion flavor?

[Nurse John]

Not that much, no. In fact, on salads, I get onions off it. I'm a garlic girly. I saw that to TikTok I thought.

[Ralph Barboza]

All garlic girlies are also inherently onion girlies. They're not separate.

[Chelsea Peretti]

I disagree. No, I'm a garlic girly. I'm not.

[Nurse John]

To me, onion smells like BO it.

[Ralph Barboza]

Tastes like it too. Yeah.

[Chelsea Peretti]

So this is good.

[Nurse John]

No, it's actually not good. Come to my podcast called Chelsea Peretti, and you can learn more of my food opinions.

[Ralph Barboza]

You don't. You don't saute. When you're sauteing garlic, you don't add onion in as well?

[Nurse John]

Sometimes, but, you know, onion has, like, a more sweet flavor. And again, smells like B.O. i think it's good cooked. I don't like it raw in salads. And sometimes I like it raw on, like, a burger.

[Ralph Barboza]

I like it raw with my pelvic floor therapist.

[Nurse John]

Oh, yeah. Now she's playing ball. You had me feeling like a perv before, and you hung me out to dry, and now you're back for more little sloppy seconds.

[Chelsea Peretti]

You don't get gassy with onions.

[Nurse John]

Oh, shit.

[Ralph Barboza]

Can I tell you the honest truth? Truth to that? I know I have no idea what makes me gassy and what doesn't.

[Nurse John]

You're constantly gassy.

[Ralph Barboza]

Yeah. Like, it's just. I never. Yeah.

[Chelsea Peretti]

Basically, when you're constipated.

[Ralph Barboza]

Yeah. What. What about.

[Chelsea Peretti]

She gets. She doesn't shit for weeks.

[Ralph Barboza]

I know.

[Nurse John]

Oh, yeah. I have a lot of friends like that.

[Chelsea Peretti]

What do they do?

[Nurse John]

I. I go try psyllium.

[Chelsea Peretti]

Psyllium? It's such a choking hazard.

[Nurse John]

No, it's not. You just have to drink tons of water with it.

[Chelsea Peretti]

You're gonna chill.

[Nurse John]

So my friend who works in the field, he's a butt doctor.

[Ralph Barboza]

The constipation field?

[Nurse John]

Yeah, he was like, once a week, drink psyllium. But the thing is, you have to drink tons of liquid with it or it has the opposite effect and it's constipating. But if you mix it with some juice and you drink it like, once a week, that's supposed to kind of help you overall.

[Ralph Barboza]

Do you. Do you not struggle with this?

[Nurse John]

I don't do it, though.

[Ralph Barboza]

Oh, so you know why? Why?

[Nurse John]

Too much work. I can't maintain consistency with anything.

[Ralph Barboza]

Do you. Does that mean that you don't, like, have, like, a regular supplement routine either?

[Nurse John]

No, I do.

[Ralph Barboza]

I would think that that would just integrate in smoothly with your supplement routine.

[Chelsea Peretti]

Not the psyllium. Psyllium is, like, a real task.

[Nurse John]

Well, it's like, the thing is, I can't mix it with water and I don't drink fruit juice. So when I was having it And I was trying to be good about it. I would have orange juice and it would go bad because I only drink it for that purpose once a week.

[Ralph Barboza]

How is your. How are your BMs?

[Nurse John]

I don't know.

[Chelsea Peretti]

How are yours?

[Nurse John]

They're unknowable.

[Ralph Barboza]

Mine, I think, are feeling pretty consistent, actually. And I. You know what I think it is? I have a grand announcement.

[Nurse John]

Okay.

[Ralph Barboza]

I, for the first time in my life, wake up at the exact same time every day because I have a baby and I wake up with her. And I think that has made my BMS much more regular. And also probiotics.

[Nurse John]

I've started taking those again too. Pretty much any ailment that you Google, probiotics could help. So I've just been like, let me start.

[Ralph Barboza]

But then also probiotics people say are like fake news.

[Chelsea Peretti]

Like they're. That's what Dr. Teddy says. My GI doctor.

[Nurse John]

Well, that's a professional name. And we know you have good judgment in doctors. Whatever Dr. Teddy says, let's go.

[Chelsea Peretti]

You know that Dr. Dr. Teddy cold scoped me, cuz. I was like, do I need another colonoscopy? He was like, no, let's have a look at it now. And I was like, what do you mean? He was like, let's just look at it with a scope and a camera. So we cold sculpt me, right?

[Nurse John]

The hell is a cold sculpt? Oh, you mean cold sculpt sculpt.

[Chelsea Peretti]

It's like an actual sculpting.

[Nurse John]

That's what I was doing. He's up your ass. Is that what we're saying? And he's like, while I'm here.

[Chelsea Peretti]

I had no. I mean, when I made the appointment.

[Nurse John]

I like improvisational doctors.

[Chelsea Peretti]

Yes.

[Nurse John]

They're like, you know what? While we're up here, let's what?

[Ralph Barboza]

Well, that is the best. It's so boring when they're like, you need another appointment for that.

[Nurse John]

Like, let's do it now. I have boundaries.

[Jules]

Let's go.

[Chelsea Peretti]

I know exactly what he did. And he was like. And he. We went up with a camera. I was on my side and we. He was like, look how diseased your lower colon.

[Nurse John]

I thought you had to be out cold to get a colonoscopy. I was. And I certainly enjoyed that.

[Ralph Barboza]

The twilight they give you is the best 5 seconds of your life.

[Nurse John]

And especially that I don't drink anymore or anything. I was like, I'll get one next week. Bring me back.

[Chelsea Peretti]

Do they tell you whether or not you're. Did they grade your prep? Because, you know, sometimes they're like, yeah.

[Nurse John]

Hey, I have a hot tip for all the elderly listeners. You can. It's more expensive, but you can get a pill versus the liquid.

[Chelsea Peretti]

No way. Yes, I did the list.

[Ralph Barboza]

Is that new?

[Nurse John]

No, I just think no one says this and so you can get it. I think it's like $100 or something. And you still have to drink tons of water and you have to take a lot of these pills, but you don't have to taste. Like, for me, I'm so taste oriented. I don't want to taste that liquid all day long or whatever. So I did that. I was perfectly cleared out before at my appointment beforehand, my doctor was like, so don't eat any kale salads because kale really sticks to your insides. And I go, do you still eat kale salad? And she was like, yes, I do. And I was like, that's so disgusting. If you saw kale inside someone's colon and then you go order a kale salad.

[Ralph Barboza]

That would never bother me. I don't. People are so sensitive. Like, we were eating dinner, and Ace took a giant dookie, and then I just changed her, like, right there. It was at our house, and Dave was like, I'm in the middle of eating. I'm like, it's fine. He's like, I'm eating chili, though. I'm like, grow up. What? Whose side?

[Nurse John]

I don't think anyone's on your side here. I'm gonna guess that no one wants to eat chili with an open diaper next to them.

[Ralph Barboza]

I was fine with it if she.

[Chelsea Peretti]

Was like, if she had the baby before solid foods poop, I would be okay with it.

[Ralph Barboza]

It's all the same.

[Nurse John]

Because that feels like the kind of thing you would see on TikTok is someone, like, making chili in a baby diaper and then sprinkling cheese on top. You're like, why am I spending my time on this?

[Ralph Barboza]

That was, like, the most profound thing anyone's ever said.

[Nurse John]

Not at all.

[Ralph Barboza]

For me, it landed in a really interesting space.

[Chelsea Peretti]

Probiotics. Scam.

[Ralph Barboza]

I want to go back to scam.

[Nurse John]

I don't think so. I don't think so. Think about, like, kimchi and all these probiotic foods. Like, they've been around forever and they're okay.

[Ralph Barboza]

Yes. But the people who say that they're a scam say that the foods are not a scam, but that the pills are a scam, which I don't want them to be a scam. I take them. I pay my good hard earned money out of Pocket. I want them to be real.

[Chelsea Peretti]

As the constipation queen, Jules, our constipation insider, what has worked the best?

[Esther Povitsky]

Matcha.

[Nurse John]

Really?

[Esther Povitsky]

That's what I do every morning. I drink matcha or coffee.

[Chelsea Peretti]

But that's just. Yeah, the caffeine is gonna be.

[Esther Povitsky]

And then I just. But sometimes. But sometimes, like I think a few.

[Nurse John]

Words, but when you speak it, you really make it count.

[Esther Povitsky]

But sometimes when I. I think I overdo it. And then I think my body gets used to it. And then I don't poo for like five days.

[Nurse John]

When I was pregnant, I ate a lot of pears and peas. Pears and peas. I had an aversion to salad.

[Ralph Barboza]

Yeah.

[Nurse John]

Which has sort of stuck with me where now I kind of prefer cooked vegetables.

[Chelsea Peretti]

My acupuncturist is very anti salads.

[Nurse John]

Yeah. It's interesting.

[Chelsea Peretti]

He says that they're very hard to digest. They're not good for you. And in Chinese medicine, that's true. It's like he says, for my Bell's Palsy, no salads.

[Ralph Barboza]

I thought leafy greens. That's like where. Where it's all at.

[Chelsea Peretti]

Yeah. I don't know. I. I do agree with him and that my body doesn't feel great after salads. I'm very just like tight and gassy and just like, overall.

[Nurse John]

You should see Esther's doctor. You're tight.

[Chelsea Peretti]

405 South. There's. It feels nothing.

[Ralph Barboza]

405 South. What could that even mean?

[Nurse John]

10 lanes, 15 lanes, lots of coming and going. You would expect traffic.

[Ralph Barboza]

What fires. Do you. Do you think the probiotics are good? Do you have.

[Nurse John]

I do.

[Ralph Barboza]

You do. Okay.

[Nurse John]

I do, but I mean, I.

[Chelsea Peretti]

Do you think there are levels to the game?

[Nurse John]

I mean, I don't. I. I just think that I've seen enough. Listen, I've done enough Google searches for different maladies. I've clocked in a lot of time. Okay, Esther? And it always pops up as something. And I don't know, I just think, like, I'm very wary of sites like that are super hippie dippy. And if I see medical advice on one of those sites, I'm like, okay, grain of salt. But I think once there's trial based evidence.

[Ralph Barboza]

I love a clinical trial.

[Nurse John]

Yeah. Clinical trials. Let's look it up. Clinical trials for probiotics. Yeah, I think there is.

[Chelsea Peretti]

But Dr. Teddy said take turmeric as a medicine.

[Ralph Barboza]

Okay. I thought that I should get turmeric, then I get turmeric, then I Google it. And it's like this has lead and it's not good for you. And you can get turmeric poisoning. Like, I'm so confused about all vitamins and I'm scared.

[Nurse John]

You know, it's a gut health is now related to everything. Right? It's like depression, Alzheimer's, this, that, the other. So I'm just like, let me throw anything at it that I can because I'm certainly not eating healthy.

[Chelsea Peretti]

You know, Alzheimer's is now considered what, type 3 diabetes, right?

[Nurse John]

Is it?

[Chelsea Peretti]

Yeah, I think so. Because they're connecting it to gut health.

[Nurse John]

And just overall, listen, all signs really point to eating healthy.

[Ralph Barboza]

But you, you're so. It's so crazy to me that you're saying you don't eat healthy. Because I feel like you, I think of you as like cooking kale based pastas and like just like making these elaborate California cuisines.

[Nurse John]

Thank you.

[Ralph Barboza]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Peretti]

What about that one year where all you ate was bulldog noodles?

[Esther Povitsky]

I had bulldog noodles every day, every night. And the pasta.

[Chelsea Peretti]

Did you see the. Do you know what bulldog noodles are?

[Ralph Barboza]

No, what is that?

[Chelsea Peretti]

Basically they're more evolved top ramen.

[Esther Povitsky]

But it's like so much from Korea and it's so good. The parmesan something.

[Chelsea Peretti]

And they have a carbonara.

[Esther Povitsky]

One carbonara. Oh, it's so good. But then I got so big and my face was so puffy. And then I was just always constipated. And I like my mental health back then. It was so bad, but I loved it. But then I had to stop.

[Chelsea Peretti]

There was some point where like literally every day I came home and she was only eating Bulldog. Like, that's not sustainable.

[Ralph Barboza]

I did that in college though too. Like, there's this restaurant in the Midwest called Noodles and Company and I went there every single day for their buttered noodles. It was so good.

[Esther Povitsky]

That's.

[Chelsea Peretti]

Wait, I think I lied when I said Soup Plantation was coming back.

[Ralph Barboza]

Oh, I think you did too.

[Chelsea Peretti]

I think it's a Soup and Fresh or some type of like offshoot of Soup Plantation.

[Ralph Barboza]

I never had had that because it was like California only.

[Chelsea Peretti]

Oh, really?

[Ralph Barboza]

Yeah, we didn't have that. I think of that as like revolving around all the 90s LA crimes. Like soup plantation is mentioned in the OJ Simpson Ryan Murphy show.

[Chelsea Peretti]

Wait, so in high school, the boy that I had a crush on robbed a soup plantation?

[Ralph Barboza]

That is so insane.

[Chelsea Peretti]

And it was a full blown heist.

[Ralph Barboza]

That's hot, isn't it?

[Chelsea Peretti]

I'm not. I. I didn't. Because he didn't end up graduating because of this. I think he got.

[Ralph Barboza]

Because he Got so rich he didn't need school.

[Chelsea Peretti]

But he. There was another soup.

[Nurse John]

He had so much soup.

[Chelsea Peretti]

There was an insider. Another.

[Nurse John]

He robbed them for soup, not money. That was his main downfall mistake.

[Chelsea Peretti]

But there was an insider. She was working in soup plantation. And they like planned this whole heist and they all got caught and they all end up. They didn't graduate. I remember this specifically.

[Ralph Barboza]

We should make a Ryan Murphy series about that story.

[Nurse John]

Oh, yeah, anything really. Just any story.

[Ralph Barboza]

Not any story. A heist. Are you for soup?

[Nurse John]

No. It's good. Call him.

[Ralph Barboza]

We should just have all our meals at Panera.

[Nurse John]

I don't think I've ever been to Panera.

[Ralph Barboza]

It's. I guess it's like a Midwest thing and it has gone downhill extensively. And I want them to know that I feel that way.

[Nurse John]

What was your go to there?

[Ralph Barboza]

Like? Basically they had this thing called the. You pick two and. So you could pick a half a sandwich and a salad or a soup. What was actually a half salad. So then you just like combine any of those and I would get the cream of chicken with wild rice soup and what.

[Nurse John]

I hate soup, famously. But you must be a real soup lover because we've talked about soup for half this podcast.

[Ralph Barboza]

I don't.

[Chelsea Peretti]

I'm not fully anti soup soup for all kinds of soup.

[Nurse John]

Aside from. I do like some Korean soups. Like, I can't say it, but the one that's cold, where you slice the. You cut the noodles with scissors. It's like. But so basically, I love that. I do like some gazpachos.

[Ralph Barboza]

So you love soups?

[Nurse John]

No, I only love like two soups. But as a whole, I'm not gonna order soup. If I have an option of anything with any texture differentiation versus a bowl of slop, I'm gonna choose the texture.

[Ralph Barboza]

Okay, maybe you didn't hear what I said. I said cream of chicken with wild.

[Nurse John]

Disgusting, right? Yeah. And I heard slop. Slop, grit.

[Ralph Barboza]

What I heard was three in the name alone. Three different textures.

[Nurse John]

Hold on. Is chewy. Rice is chewy. And the cream is like. Like a thickener. So it's like a thick. Thick.

[Ralph Barboza]

When is texture just. Just down to something that's crispy.

[Nurse John]

I told you I'm fat, right? I like crispy. I like crunchy.

[Ralph Barboza]

But to insinuate that rice and chicken are the same texture is like.

[Nurse John]

They do have both a sort of glutenous. I mean, chicken.

[Chelsea Peretti]

Wait, I wanted. I want to chime in on this gluten.

[Nurse John]

I'm trying to stand my ground on this. Point. Chicken would be rice.

[Ralph Barboza]

Like, in texture.

[Nurse John]

Yeah. I stand by it.

[Ralph Barboza]

And then. And then picture this. Little crunchy bits of. Of vegetables in there, too. Mystery vegetables.

[Nurse John]

I mean, that soup in particular sounds pretty bad to me.

[Ralph Barboza]

I thought you were gonna say pretty good.

[Nurse John]

No, no. A creamy, ricey, chickeny soup. No.

[Ralph Barboza]

Well, what if it's in a bread bowl? That will please you as a extra.

[Nurse John]

Yeah, it should appeal to me, but sadly it does.

[Chelsea Peretti]

I don't like rice in a bread bowl. That somehow is, like, sacrilegious to me.

[Ralph Barboza]

Oh, stop it.

[Chelsea Peretti]

A chowder. A chowder that's double carb. Yeah, but like a rice. Okay.

[Nurse John]

You ever sprinkle rice on, like, a pasta dish? That'd be good. That would be really good, too. You should try that.

[Chelsea Peretti]

Wait, it's. I mean, I. Last week I said that I shove spaghetti into bread.

[Ralph Barboza]

Yeah. You sick Filipino.

[Nurse John]

It's so good. Race comes into it.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Peretti]

You have to try it. Filipino spaghetti inside pandesal is actually very good.

[Nurse John]

Yes.

[Chelsea Peretti]

I apologize for judging you that harshly, but I will say I know what you mean, because since getting Bell's palsy and I can't use my mouth correctly, I don't like mixed media either. I don't like different textures. It's got to be one slop, one goop, or give me nothing, because that's.

[Nurse John]

The opposite of what I said.

[Chelsea Peretti]

No, you said you.

[Nurse John]

I do not like slope. You just said you want slop.

[Ralph Barboza]

She wants.

[Nurse John]

You're pro slop. I'm anti. I'm anti mixed media, and she wants your pro slop.

[Chelsea Peretti]

Just to recap your anti slop.

[Nurse John]

You like a slurry or a sludge that you can pour down your disabled mouth. Whereas I like good food.

[Chelsea Peretti]

What's interesting, though, is the two soups that you do like are cold.

[Nurse John]

It is interesting.

[Ralph Barboza]

It is interesting. And I also was. Have been taking note of that.

[Nurse John]

Yeah. That's weird, right?

[Ralph Barboza]

Yeah. And you also use the word love. You didn't just say, I tolerate these two soups. You said you love them.

[Nurse John]

And what do you make of that?

[Ralph Barboza]

I make it. That's weird for someone who previously said that they famously hate soup. But I do love two soups. Most people like all soups. They don't love some.

[Nurse John]

No. A lot of you all seem to love soup, like, across the board. Like, do you love a butternut squash soup? You probably do with your. Like, I'll. I'll have that. First of all, it's too sweet. That's actually the be all. That's the first and second point, too sweet.

[Ralph Barboza]

It sounds to me like you're just a sad. You're on a sad journey of craving the perfect butternut.

[Nurse John]

Here's what's sad. Someone's spooning little liquids into their mouth. It's like, yeah, if you have dentures and you've taken them out and you need a quick bite, go for it. Otherwise, you have no excuse.

[Ralph Barboza]

What about split pea soup?

[Nurse John]

Soup.

[Ralph Barboza]

Ugh.

[Nurse John]

Esther, that's like, the last one you should bring up. That should be, like, in your back. Back burner for arguments. For soup. I could name, like, 15 other soups. You should name first, like, French onion. Everyone loves French onion. I don't like it. But, you know, that would be one that people listening would at least agree with you Split P. You probably lost 90 of your audience.

[Ralph Barboza]

What if you're. What? Okay, what if it's just like a sick day? Chicken noodle soup.

[Nurse John]

I'm not into chicken noodle soup. I don't like it. Look, I don't like it. She doesn't like it either.

[Ralph Barboza]

Well, I don't like it either. I was just trying.

[Nurse John]

It's one of the worst American foods, I think.

[Chelsea Peretti]

So That's a very basic. Yeah, I agree.

[Ralph Barboza]

Matzo ball soup.

[Nurse John]

I do think matzo ball soup is better than chicken noodles.

[Chelsea Peretti]

Yeah. Matzo ball, any type of bisque, I think is pretty good.

[Nurse John]

And also there's a little something fun to do. You're cutting little, little bites off that matzo ball. All right, we've got a solid in play. Okay. We got a little something to do here. We're not just. Also, I have to say, I had a formative experience at a hofbrau as a kid where me and my dad and my brother were at this hofbrau and we saw this guy eating soup. He sneezed into it and then continued to spoon it into his mouth. So maybe that has something to do with my aversion.

[Ralph Barboza]

Now we're getting somewhere.

[Nurse John]

Okay, wait.

[Chelsea Peretti]

So if you sneeze into a food, you.

[Nurse John]

He was like, put it. And then he, like, in. It was just so gross.

[Chelsea Peretti]

I feel like I've done that for sure.

[Ralph Barboza]

Wait, what about lima bean soup?

[Nurse John]

Ew. Esther, are you sick? Are you mentally sick?

[Ralph Barboza]

You know what is. I know one that you would like.

[Nurse John]

What?

[Ralph Barboza]

Picture a dairy free broccoli pureed soup. I bet you'd like that.

[Nurse John]

It's interesting. I would like that if it was good. Here's the. Actually, I like a good cauliflower soup, but most of the time they're not good.

[Ralph Barboza]

I agree.

[Nurse John]

Here's a test. We'll see if soups are good definitively. What's your go to soup in la?

[Ralph Barboza]

I. I know what you go to soup. I know what you're gts.

[Nurse John]

Let's go.

[Ralph Barboza]

It's hard to find good soup. What in la.

[Nurse John]

But it would seem it would be the easiest thing to find. This is one of the best foods the.

[Chelsea Peretti]

I think anything with Tom Yum. So Thai any other.

[Nurse John]

This is a cheat. This is a cheat. I can't comment as a white person. That's not true.

[Ralph Barboza]

Yes, you can.

[Nurse John]

No, I. I do think those are. I think non white people soups are far superior.

[Chelsea Peretti]

I agree.

[Nurse John]

I.

[Ralph Barboza]

My good soups are in the Midwest.

[Nurse John]

Okay, let me hear about a Midwest soup because we've already bombed on lima bean. Would you say lima bean soup? Did you really say that or did I imagine that?

[Ralph Barboza]

I love lima bean soup. It's one of my favorite soups.

[Chelsea Peretti]

I didn't even know that was a thing.

[Nurse John]

Crazy. What about like a canned lima bean?

[Ralph Barboza]

No, no, no. You get it at like a Jewish deli, but most of them have closed down.

[Nurse John]

But Jewish people eat lima bean soup.

[Ralph Barboza]

Yeah.

[Nurse John]

Never heard of it.

[Ralph Barboza]

What about like sweet and sour cabbage soup? Have you ever had that?

[Nurse John]

No. Now we're talking about. That might be what's making you gassy. Are you eating sweet and sour cabbage soup daily?

[Ralph Barboza]

Not daily, but like that. Sweet and sour cabbage and lima bean are like Jewish deli soups, I would say.

[Nurse John]

And then I've never heard of either. You're Jewish, are you?

[Ralph Barboza]

You lived in New York, are you? I'm. Well, I'm half.

[Nurse John]

But the wrong half.

[Ralph Barboza]

Well, to super Orthodox people would say that.

[Nurse John]

Sure.

[Ralph Barboza]

But I know you're not that.

[Nurse John]

I am.

[Ralph Barboza]

You're super or newly.

[Nurse John]

Newly. That's why I'm in pants anyway. But yeah. I don't know if you've really nothing and. Okay, you. You have a good point.

[Chelsea Peretti]

Mm.

[Nurse John]

Because those soups have flavor and texture.

[Chelsea Peretti]

So much flavor and texture. Tom Yum. So all the Asian soups are a good.

[Nurse John]

She's like teacher's pet right now. She's recapping.

[Chelsea Peretti]

I can give you all the Tom Yum guys.

[Nurse John]

But it's true. And then it's like. I don't know. I'm trying. Yeah. The best iteration of a Caucasian soup is probably. That's your format. It's probably, I think a cauliflower. Jewish soups. I've never heard of those. I. I mean, it'd be interesting to pull Your audience. Yeah, but lima bean fans, Soup fans.

[Ralph Barboza]

Wait, do you have a soup that you like?

[Esther Povitsky]

I'm a Chelsea. I hate soup.

[Chelsea Peretti]

She hates soups. Yeah, she's upset when we have soup anyway. And yeah.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yes, we always have soup right now for dinner because of her. So I tried to just make me under the bus.

[Nurse John]

Look, this is what I thrive on. Driving a wedge between two people, between families. But I mean, yeah, it's like, when are you ever, like, dinner time. Let me drink a bowl of liquid. You know what I mean?

[Chelsea Peretti]

I think just in general, I like soupy dishes and stews. I don't like, like. As opposed to something grilled. I'm always going to take a stew.

[Nurse John]

Wow. Fascinating. Opposite. Total opposite. Maybe that's why you got bells. Just trying to keep it light, guys. Just trying to keep it.

[Chelsea Peretti]

Like my acupuncturist said, in Chinese medicine, it's one of two things. Either there was a cold draft.

[Nurse John]

I'm like, they're always talking about hot, cold, damp. I'm like, okay, I gotta get out of here.

[Chelsea Peretti]

It's a cold draft. Or you're very. You're severely anemic or like, like blood depleted.

[Nurse John]

Have you tested all your blood?

[Chelsea Peretti]

Yeah, I'm so. I'm very anemic.

[Nurse John]

Really? Do you do iron transfusions?

[Chelsea Peretti]

I started taking Floridix because of Esther, but I don't take the iron transfusion.

[Nurse John]

Did it help?

[Chelsea Peretti]

I. I don't know.

[Nurse John]

You haven't retested your iron? I haven't because I have kind of low iron.

[Ralph Barboza]

I got my iron back up.

[Nurse John]

How?

[Ralph Barboza]

With. I actually went off the floor. Dicks. Because I was not consistent.

[Nurse John]

Toxic.

[Ralph Barboza]

No, I was.

[Chelsea Peretti]

I just. I'm drinking lead.

[Ralph Barboza]

I wanted to, but it wasn't consistent with it because it's a drink. Which. Which contradicts something I said earlier in this podcast, but which is accusing you of not being able to keep up with psyllium husk. Being weird, but I take something called easy iron. Just if you Google that, you'll find it. And it's like a non constipating iron. And that got my iron levels up. Like, really, truly. Like, there's proof and everything. I have receipts.

[Nurse John]

Yeah, because they were suggesting IV infusion.

[Chelsea Peretti]

I think that's good for people who have sensitive gi. Yeah, that makes sense because then it's not. Not causing you constipation. It's straight into your blood.

[Ralph Barboza]

I got that in the hospital too. After I gave birth. I got the iron iv.

[Chelsea Peretti]

Oh, you did?

[Ralph Barboza]

Yeah, yeah, it still wasn't I missed.

[Nurse John]

Your whole birth story because I was, like, texting you, trying to get it, but you're, like, saving it for an ipod iPad. You're saving it for a podcast exclusive.

[Ralph Barboza]

Oh, yeah, I did do it.

[Nurse John]

I was like, how'd your birth go? You're like, hold, please. I'm going to do a special app, a very special episode.

[Ralph Barboza]

It was.

[Nurse John]

I still don't know how your birth went.

[Ralph Barboza]

It was, like, it was really good. And also not really good. Like, that's. I feel like the more removed I am of it.

[Nurse John]

Like, the best of times, the worst.

[Ralph Barboza]

Truly. Like, I was really happy to be drugged up. And I was really, really just hated being pregnant so much that once she was out of me, I was like, you know. You know the honest truth then, now that I look back on it, I was so scared after having a miscarriage and just of everything you read online of, like, not delivering a baby that was alive. Like, I really live with that. And I never once even could let myself picture what it would be like to have the baby be born. And so as soon as she was out of me and alive, I was like. I was, like, euphoric because I got to that point. But then I was also ignoring other things that maybe, like, didn't go great. So that sort of, like. Yeah, we can offline though about it. I'll tell you everything. Obviously. It would be so much fun to talk about.

[Chelsea Peretti]

Yeah, I. I do love, like, my. My favorite part about your entire birth story is that you got an epidural at 0.5 centimeters. Like, to me, that's historic.

[Ralph Barboza]

It was. They had to, like, call several specialists to make sure it was okay. Yeah.

[Nurse John]

You know what? Speaking of soup, when I was about to have my child, they were like, you can't have any food. Yeah. And so I thought I was genius. And I ordered a postmated bone broth to the hospital, and I'm like, it's not food. And then I yacked so hard. Like, I wound up having to get a C section. And I was laying on my back under the anesthesia, and I had to throw up.

[Ralph Barboza]

And they're like.

[Nurse John]

I'm like, okay. But the urgency of needing to throw up. I was like, I am going to throw up. Like, imagine laying on your back. You can barely move. You're like, I'm going to throw up. I'm going to throw up. And the nurse is like, that's fine. Like, it felt like she was like, that's okay. Turn your head to the right. And then I don't know why I feel like I hallucinated this, but she held a tiny, like it looked like a condom. And she goes throw up into this while you're laying down with your head turned side sideways. It was like a prank. What if she was also a pervert? But yeah, I don't. I still to this day don't. And they made me drink like this weird yellow liquid, which I still don't know what it was.

[Ralph Barboza]

What do you.

[Chelsea Peretti]

What is that?

[Ralph Barboza]

Someone's pissed.

[Nurse John]

Anyway, pretty gross.

[Chelsea Peretti]

Wait, we didn't. What is. None of these are good.

[Ralph Barboza]

The French onion popcorn is delicious.

[Nurse John]

That's the only one we tried. Did you try the pretzels?

[Esther Povitsky]

No, I didn't like the pretzels.

[Nurse John]

What a. What a good ending to the podcast.

[Ralph Barboza]

I bet they're good.

[Chelsea Peretti]

They're good. You didn't like them? Too sweet, Jules.

[Esther Povitsky]

It's too sweet.

[Nurse John]

Yeah. I think TJ's needs a new person in their flavor lab. What can I tell ya?

[Ralph Barboza]

You're not totally wrong.

[Nurse John]

Food isn't easy.

[Ralph Barboza]

It's not.

[Nurse John]

It's one of the most perilous journeys you can take.

[Ralph Barboza]

I still low key, like, have this desire for you to, like, mentor me as a chef. I wonder if one day I can manifest that.

[Nurse John]

Well, I told you about my popcorn.

[Ralph Barboza]

That's true. That's.

[Nurse John]

Duplicate that. Yeah, it's really good.

[Ralph Barboza]

Although I'm really suspicious of the olive oil being lemon infused. Like, why is that? It just seems weird.

[Nurse John]

I love lemon.

[Ralph Barboza]

I do.

[Nurse John]

You can just do it with regular.

[Ralph Barboza]

Yeah, it just doesn't fit the. Fit the bill for me. The nutritional yeast.

[Nurse John]

It's so good. It was so good. I love lemon. So lemony. Salty, truffley popcorn. It was really good.

[Ralph Barboza]

Yeah.

[Nurse John]

And then the. The nutritional yeast as that, like, cheesy flavor.

[Ralph Barboza]

Right. It's like, that's what's throwing me off.

[Nurse John]

I guess. I guess it does sound sort of weird, but it's really good.

[Ralph Barboza]

Yeah.

[Nurse John]

I mean, at least it's not like a creamy chicken rice. Like, you are gravy. It's basically eating gravy.

[Ralph Barboza]

Is gravy bad?

[Nurse John]

Do you like Alfredo sauce?

[Ralph Barboza]

Oh, that's so rude, isn't it?

[Nurse John]

That's so rude.

[Ralph Barboza]

That is like the classic.

[Nurse John]

Do you love it, though? Stop. Just be truthful. Just live in your truth. Do you love Alfredo?

[Ralph Barboza]

I don't, but my sister does. And it's embarrassing for me. It's triggering for me because of how much my sister likes it.

[Chelsea Peretti]

I have one more thing to say before you Part way.

[Ralph Barboza]

Is it about Alfredo sauce?

[Chelsea Peretti]

No. I. I have once thought at the cafeteria at unlv, because I got a full ride to unlv, so I had, like, three rain at the cafeteria. I forgot you went there, that there was biscuit gravy, and I ate it as a soup for a wholesome.

[Nurse John]

I rest my case. You literally couldn't distinguish between that and soup.

[Chelsea Peretti]

I could not.

[Nurse John]

I think that's a solid argument for. You're trying to tell me eradicating soup.

[Ralph Barboza]

You're trying to tell me that you don't love Grav.

[Nurse John]

100% don't love Gravy.

[Ralph Barboza]

What?

[Nurse John]

I don't like something that you could call glop?

[Ralph Barboza]

You come on this show talking all this game like, I'm a fat person and you don't love gravy?

[Nurse John]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barboza]

I don't know. I don't think you know who you are.

[Nurse John]

Well, listen, I think that sometimes fat people are frustrating. You know, it's like you're like, hey, let's split a cheesecake. And they're like, I don't like cheesecake. And you're like, what, you of all people don't like cheese? Cheesecake.

[Ralph Barboza]

Guys, we love you. This is all comedy.

[Nurse John]

Listen, the only reason I. I think fat needs to be reused. You know, like, when body positivity came about and people were like, I am fat, and I'm taking the word back. Well, now that everyone's on oic, I think I should be allowed to call myself fat.

[Ralph Barboza]

I'm totally in support of that. I'm. I'm buying in for you.

[Nurse John]

I'm surrounded, like, literally, I'm the last man standing. Everybody I know is on oic, and I'm like, I'll be taking care of the normalcy department, so I'm gonna get through it by tooth and nail however I can.

[Ralph Barboza]

I respect you for that. I subscribe. You guys. Thank you to Chelsea for coming back to celebrate our 200th episode. And I would love to hear what people think about soup. Whose side are you on?

[Nurse John]

Yeah.

[Ralph Barboza]

And we'll see you next week with a brand new episode. And also watch Chelsea's movie on Roku.

[Nurse John]

Yeah, you don't have to get the Roku. I wish I had made that clearer in the past. You don't have to get that machinery. You can just watch it online.

[Ralph Barboza]

Yeah, Roku's free.

[Nurse John]

It's called First Time Female Director. My podcast again is called Chelsea Peretti.

[Ralph Barboza]

It's so good.

[Nurse John]

Just went independent and would love you to check it out. You will hear a lot more about soup, and that is guaranteed.

[Ralph Barboza]

Okay, well, interesting. I wonder what you'll say. We'll see you guys next week with a brand new episode.

[Jules]

Hey, comedy fans. The funniest comedians in the world are on tour, and you can get tickets to see them live near you. Laugh with the biggest names in comedy like Atsuko Okatsuka, Chelsea Handler, Corey Holcomb, Matt Matthews, Nurse John, Ralph Barboza, Ronny Chang, Sarah Silverman, Sebastian Maniscalco, Wanda Sykes, and so many more. All kinds of shows, all kinds of venues, all kinds of funny. Head to livenation.comcomedy to get your tickets today. That's livenation.comcomedy.