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Hey comedy fans, the funniest comedians in the world are on tour and you can get tickets to see them live near you. Laugh at the biggest names in comedy like Atsuko Okotsuka, Chelsea Handler, Jimmy Carr, Kathy Griffin, Matt Matthews, Matt Rife, Sarah Silverman, Sebastian Maniscalco, Stavros Helkias, Wanda Sykes and so many more. All kinds of shows, all kinds of venues, all kinds of funny. Head to livenation.comcomedy to get your tickets today. That's livenation.comcomedy. hey comedy fans, the funniest comedians in the world are on tour and you can get tickets to see them live near you. Laugh at the biggest names in comedy like Atsuka Okatsuka, Chelsea Handler, Jimmy Carr, Kathy Griffin, Matt Matthews, Matt Rife, Sarah Silverman, Sebastian Maniscalco, Stavros Helkias, Wanda Sykes and so many more. All kinds of shows, all kinds of venues, all kinds of funny. Head to livenation.comcomedy to get your tickets today. That's livenation.comcomedy.
What did the reindeer not let Rudolph do because of his shiny red nose?
Kalila
Rudolph the red nosed reindeer had a very shiny nose. And if you ever let the other reindeer.
Esther
I got that. I got that.
Kalila
No, damn it.
Esther
Wouldn't let him play.
Kalila
The used to laugh and play. Sorry, we got some hype there.
Esther
Follow the end.
Kalila
Play.
Esther
What is it?
Unknown
Laugh and play.
Kalila
Laugh and play. We sang.
Esther
At the time I thought it was joining any reindeer games.
Kalila
They never let poor Rudolph join in any reindeer games.
Jenna
Esther got it.
Esther
Esther got it.
Kalila
Damn it. We were wrong and we screamed that loud. How embarrassing for us.
Esther
Hi slugs. I am back on the road and I'm going to be in Vancouver February 15th at the JFL Festival. I will be in San Francisco one only February 16th and then March 21st and 22nd I'll be in Chicago and I can't wait. And you can get tickets. The link below. I will be at the Den theater in Chicago. I'll see you guys soon.
Jenna
Hey slugs. Are you stinky? Of course you are. We all are. Well, I have a cure. My handmade homemade deodorant called Pit Stop. It is by Tia Jenna and you can go to byagena.com to get it. That's B Y T I A J-N N A.com or go to my Instagram and all the information is there. It's the only thing that works. Esther uses it, Kaly uses it and you about to.
Esther
Do you remember there was a guy you dated where I was like ew, this is like a mirror Self like, ew. That. This is like, Esther, you. I. I what?
Kalila
My belt is not reflecting what's running through my body right now. You don't even know the worst of it, Jenna.
Jenna
The worst of it is that I've dated other people who are worse than that.
Kalila
She dated a guy. I'm not gonna say his name. I won't say that. We can cut it.
Jenna
Delilah.
Kalila
I won't say it.
Jenna
I mean, I won't say it. Don't even mouth, because even with your bells, people will be able to tell.
Kalila
I won't mouth it. But we literally faked his own death.
Esther
What?
Jenna
It is true because someone wrote to me in Chicago and was like, I'm so sorry, Jenna. And I was like, first off, this was 13 years ago. But he faked his own death, like, last year. This year.
Kalila
It was last year.
Esther
How do tell me everything.
Jenna
I don't know because I didn't look it up. I'm like, okay, he must have.
Kalila
I looked it up for her.
Jenna
I'm just supporting Hope that he's well.
Kalila
So, you know, I'm unwell. So I had to do all the digging.
Esther
Thank you.
Kalila
I. She was so upset with me that I had done all the digging, and I gave her basically a 16 page, like, thesis. Like a breakdown of what he had done. Yeah, Like a full, like, here you go. Here's everything you need to know.
Jenna
I was like, why would you. Why would you tell me this? Like, I haven't thought about him, talked about him in so long, and now I feel upset.
Kalila
How do you feel that he's also gay?
Jenna
That makes me happy. That would make me happy. But what doesn't make me happy is that he's apparently because Kalila found some more information on him last week and sent it to me.
Esther
Is his name Jussie Smollett?
Jenna
No. No.
Kalila
Close. Ish.
Esther
Wait, what's the new information?
Jenna
I literally hate you.
Esther
I was so confused because I just was like, this guy's gym, shirtless selfies are embarrassing and why are you dating this person? Tell us everything now.
Kalila
All I do is, like, dig up information about every now.
Jenna
And the thing that's crazy about the way Kalila does it is that she acts she stumbled upon it.
Esther
No, no, no.
Jenna
She's just like, she'll send me this. Oh. And she won't say anything. She'll just send it and go, like, she'll say. She'll say something and goes like, happy birthday. Or like, hey, hope you're doing well today. And then I open it, unbeknownst Unbeknownst and unannounced. And it's this. Basically. Why are we talking about this?
Esther
Basically, he.
Jenna
The reason I don't want to talk about it is because I don't want to give him or her attention.
Esther
They won't know.
Kalila
That's everything you need to know.
Jules
Him or her.
Kalila
That's not. That's. That's actually the good part about it.
Jenna
Yeah. I would be happy if he were trans.
Kalila
He's.
Jenna
It's that he's acting. He's putting women's clothing on and has. Kalila has shown me about 300 videos now. That. And he has a huge following. And he dresses up in women's clothing, but then hates on the trans community.
Kalila
His whole shtick is pretending to be like, seriously, Step.
Esther
Step forward.
Jenna
Yeah, you're the one who's been doing the research.
Kalila
Listen, guys, let me. Let me break it down for you.
Jenna
So basically, I'm gonna go to sleep in the meantime.
Kalila
Basically, he has a whole page dedicated to mocking the trans community, but in doing so, is actually dressing up as a woman.
Esther
This is the craziest thing I've ever.
Kalila
And then parodying.
Jenna
Oh, it's crazy.
Kalila
His whole page is a parody of what. What he thinks trans people do and how they act in support of the other right wing, like conservatism and their.
Jenna
View on right wing. When we dated. I think he went off the rocker when we stopped dating because he was upset.
Esther
I will say the same thing about one of my exes, too. Okay. He was not right when I dated him.
Kalila
You have.
Esther
We all have an ex who turned right wing and it was not our.
Jenna
Fault and who's taking it to the Internet, but not only is he just on there in his. What he thinks is women's clothing, he's doing. Getting his nails done.
Esther
You're stopping right now.
Jenna
Makeup going all out. He is full down to the shoes.
Kalila
Yes, he is fully what he is making fun of. He is.
Esther
How is this.
Kalila
It's kind of.
Jenna
And I just want to be like, bro, you're trans and it's okay. But don't hate on the trans community as a means to act like you're not. Because now he's getting to be trans since that's all he wears.
Kalila
And he looks beautiful. Jules, have you looked beautiful?
Esther
Have you ever heard of anything like this?
Jules
No, but I've had an ex that hated gays, but then turns out he sucked a dick and was gay.
Kalila
Of course that's you. That's. That's Tale as old as time.
Jenna
Jules, like, you want them to be chill about it. That's what my partner said. He was like, I'm good. Because I want to be like, well, you haven't tried it, so you don't know. And he just keeps saying, like, I'm good. Like, I'm good. If anything changes, I'll let you know. I'm good. And I'm like, right.
Kalila
If he's clutching his pearls.
Esther
Yeah. What's now what? What do if you have repressed homosexuality. Hey, would you ever suck a penis?
Jenna
Why the would you ask me that?
Kalila
Ow.
Esther
Why are you hitting me?
Jenna
Ew. I would not.
Kalila
Ow.
Jenna
Ow.
Esther
Why are you hitting me?
Jenna
Go to your room.
Kalila
I told you guys. I dated a guy who was, like, closeted at that time, right? And he was the most abusive boyfriend I've ever had. Like, he literally threw, like, this is before everyone had a cell phone. So we still had the house phones, the cordless. And he threw a cordless phone, like, at my face. And when we broke up, because he had cheated on me.
Jenna
These phones are hard.
Kalila
I know. He, like, full mounted me. Full mounted. And actually, like, in Vegas, like, punch me a couple times.
Esther
Oh, my God.
Kalila
Yeah.
Esther
But you know what? I. I will say it's like, it's not. I know that we all want to sit here and be like, hey, guys, it's okay if you're gay. Like, we accept you. But I actually don't think that that does anything, because I don't. I know that, like, have you've ever had experience with self hatred? It doesn't matter how supportive the outside world is. And so I do have compassion for people in that position, but it absolutely sucks.
Jenna
But then to go the opposite way and hate on the community.
Kalila
I know being of being gay, being hetero doesn't give you an excuse to treat people like shit. Like, I don't care what journey you're going through. Like, I cannot be your collateral damage.
Jenna
Okay, so the other guy who I dated in his barracks, um, Jenna, has.
Kalila
A great bicker, you guys. It's highly entertaining for me.
Jenna
He called me Jenna and one time when I went into his barracks. Okay, so the guy from college.
Kalila
Oh, Joy, joy, joy, Joy.
Esther
Bro, bro.
Kalila
I can't wait to send you my dossier.
Jenna
It's so fucked up because it's like, I don't want to think about these people. They have nothing to do with my life. And Kaleidologist will fucking drudge it up and send me. And it's after she's done, like, three months of research.
Esther
Ooh hit me with some. I love talking about my exes. I won't be like Jenn.
Jenna
You know, I also don't have any shitty enough to do that.
Kalila
I've also done her huge favors in that she's like, kalila, there's a hot guy at a sandwich shop in San Luis Obispo and I don't know his name. We had a two second encounter. I need you to find him. And you know what? I've come through 100% of the time.
Jenna
Okay, you know what?
Esther
Are you serious?
Jenna
I will say, Kalila's ability to do research and stock has its ups and it has its downs, but they will. They will benefit you. The ups, right?
Kalila
Then I came back with, I think he has a girlfriend. Here's his name. Here's the Social Security.
Jenna
I literally was like, I barely even know what he looks like. But he was hot. It was dark. It was a music festival. I was volunteering to do, like, cleaning up, recycling. There was a shop. You remember more than I do. And I was like, I have no idea how we're going to find him. This the next morning, I told her, like 2:00am By 6:00am she was like, full report was ready. Yeah, your results are ready. Your results are ready. Is this him? I followed him. He had a girlfriend. So then it was done.
Kalila
It was done. Yeah, sorry about that. We tried. We tried.
Esther
Who else is there?
Jenna
The one from the barracks in Georgia.
Esther
So he was like a southern good boy?
Jenna
Yeah, he was like. I mean, he was a no good boy, but he was a southern boy. And I remember, I'll never forget this is when it ended, because he took me into his barracks. Like, first off, he's like, we drive in, he's like, oh, get low when we go in, because I don't have a guest password or whatever. I'm like, okay, cool, Good. Low. Then we go in.
Kalila
Cool.
Jenna
We go in.
Esther
If someone tells you to get low in a car, that's never cool. It means you're being illegally smuggled in or out of someplace, and you can't be visible to the eye of security around you. That's not good ever.
Kalila
Esther, are you salty? Because no one's ever asked you to get low. Already so low. You never had to duck, have you?
Esther
I'm already ducking.
Jenna
You're the same height. Shake it or don't.
Esther
Where? What are barracks for the layman? Out there.
Jenna
Well, we went to his base. Okay, we went to his base.
Kalila
I think in my head, I'm thinking, it's like a dugout yeah, he took.
Jenna
Me to where, like, the bunks were not a bunker.
Esther
Oh, so he was in the military?
Jenna
Yes. Did you not get that?
Esther
So you were. So you illegally trespassed on government official.
Jenna
So then get this. So we get in there.
Esther
I have to arrest you right now.
Jenna
Take me, take me. I'll get low.
Esther
Take me.
Jenna
So we get in there and he's like, all right, so my roommate is still at. What do army people do? He's still doing push ups or whatever. They did boot camp. He's still at his camp, whatever. But he'll be back in like 30 minutes. But if anyone knocks, he can't open the door. So scared. I gotta go into base. And I'm like, what? So I'm just staying here alone and.
Esther
You can't open the door?
Jenna
Mind you, I wasn't even scared.
Esther
So you're. So you're a prisoner.
Jenna
This is the point in my life. Like, before, I had fear.
Esther
Yeah.
Jenna
I was like 23. Happened way later for me. We go in and I'm like, okay. And now he's like, all right, but before I go, just want to give you a kiss. Come lay here down and bid me. And I was like, all right. So we lay down in bed, right? And I'm like, ew, I'm gonna make out. I wasn't even, like, sex. Cause we hadn't even had sex yet. And we lay down and I remember just lay. I remember just laying down like this. And I just see a huge Confederate flag on the ceiling. You can't make this shit up. I had never seen one in person. A huge Confederate flag that is as big as his twin size bed. Bigger. Bigger. And I just remember being like, oh, my. Like, that's what scared me. It wasn't the get low. It wasn't the. If anyone knocks, don't go. Don't open the door. It was the Confederate flag. And I remember he's just on top of me and I just like, move him off. And he's like, you know, you. I've always thought this, but you, I mean, look. You look just like Jessica Alba. He's got a huge Jessica Alba poster. Guys, you couldn't make this up. I couldn't make this up.
Esther
I love how guys are so transparent that they're just trying to hook up with someone that looks like their crush.
Jenna
And I'm like, why? I don't, but thank you. And then, like, we made out a little bit, but then I was like, the Confederate flag. What do I do? He leaves.
Esther
If someone ever Told me I look like Jessica Alba. It's like, whatever you want, buddy.
Kalila
We're getting married. You worship me.
Jenna
He leaves. He's gone all day. I'm talking four or five hours. I don't leave. I don't got no snacks. I'm like, going into his bathroom, looking at stuff, laying on the bed, texting with my friends. There's, like no windows. I don't know. You know, now that I say this out loud, it's really. It's bad. And I didn't know. Right. But I was just like, he says my name, Jenna, and like, I don't know, he could protect me.
Esther
I will say, when you do the accent, I get a little turned on.
Jenna
Yeah, right. Like a little what he sounds like.
Kalila
He's just a good boy, but a product of his environment.
Jenna
Exactly.
Kalila
Like a good heart and love. Jessica Alba. Sue him.
Jenna
Exactly. But, you know, the Confederate flag is a no go for me. So that's where it ended.
Esther
Well, did you bring it up?
Jenna
No, I just. I just.
Kalila
I left at 23. Do you bring things up?
Jenna
No, I did.
Kalila
Goodbye.
Jenna
I brought everything up at 23.
Esther
Goodbye.
Jenna
Yeah. Oh, my God. In Chicago, it's like, you bring everything up. But I was so shocked. And I didn't bring it up then, but I did bring it up to him, and he's like, you don't understand. It's about the history. It's the history. And I'm like, no, that's exactly what I'm saying. The history is bad. And he was like, it's not like that. It's not like I'm a racist or anything. It's just that, like, the history of the Confederate flag is really important. I was like, bro, no, you don't understand.
Esther
And then is there a correlation between Confederate flag and wanting to hook up with a non white woman? You have to ask yourself.
Jenna
And basically, couldn't nobody own me. So that's where it ended.
Kalila
Yeah. Congrats, Jenna.
Jenna
I would just like to say I'm really happy that I have a great partner now.
Esther
Yeah.
Jenna
So let's. We're all happy that we're not dating our exes.
Esther
Yeah, that's true.
Jenna
Congrats.
Esther
On that note, I'm the happiest. I'm the happiest. I just want to say, no matter how happy you think you are about that, I'm the happiest.
Kalila
Can I also tell you, is your husband, though, on behalf of Jenna and I and the entire like, you can never leave Dave.
Jenna
Oh, never.
Esther
Are you kidding? I would never because if you leave.
Jenna
Him, I'm swooping right in. Right Seamlessly.
Kalila
Jenna. Comes a package deal.
Jenna
Seamlessly.
Kalila
We're like, look, Dave, you can have two for one.
Esther
It's never happening. Like, it is. It is. Whether even if he needs to be in a straight jacket, like, there's no separation.
Kalila
I'm gonna help you chain him down. If he ever decides, like, you know, this isn't working out, like, we're gonna intervene.
Esther
There's no chance. He's. He would be so scared to try to leave me. It's never.
Jenna
He would be terrified. Confidence.
Esther
Oh, I'm so confident.
Jenna
Even if he knew we were waiting, he just.
Kalila
He finds us disgusting, okay?
Jules
He really does. Are you, like, very affectionate with him and, like, vice versa?
Jenna
That's a really good question, Jules.
Esther
It's really.
Jules
Actually, I don't really see you and Dave, like, lovey dovey, so he is.
Esther
Not about public affection, by the way.
Kalila
She's asking this because she is not lovey dovey at all with her boyfriend.
Esther
So I get that. And I've gone through phases where I, like, was not really into that, but I am now. And actually, since we started dating, Dave has always called me out on the fact that whenever we are out with his friends, I start piling on the pda.
Jenna
Like, I've been there when he talks to her about.
Esther
He's like, you're doing it. I'm like, I can't stop. He's like, you just want to publicly own me. It's so weird, and it's unconscious. Like, I literally. If we're out with his friends, I'll just be, like, touching him, and I don't know what it is.
Jenna
Nothing wrong with that. Yeah. Because he's your man.
Esther
Since day one, I've done that.
Jenna
But I will say she is affectionate with her boyfriend. Me. I will say I'm the only person who Esther, like, actually lets touch her whole. You and Dave massage her, but you.
Jules
Don'T like any other physical?
Esther
I'm trying to really work up to it, but it's just hard for me, and I don't know why. I think it's because my parents never cuddled me.
Kalila
Oh, what's your reason, Jules? Cause Jules is so, like. She bristles.
Jenna
Yeah. Like, I force it on you, you know?
Jules
Yeah.
Jenna
I think that that's the best way. Just force it. Not for anything else. Just for me. With affection toward my girlfriend.
Esther
For me, it might have also been learned behavior, because I read in Jenna Jameson's autobiography that she didn't like, cuddling. And then I wanted to be like her, which is.
Jenna
That's it.
Esther
A red flag.
Jenna
That's it.
Kalila
Yeah.
Jenna
That's something that you.
Kalila
That is the root of it all.
Jenna
Because you're psycho.
Kalila
You guys suck. You're. You've fetishized blondes your whole life.
Esther
Stop.
Kalila
You've modeled your life around these. Jenna Jameson, Anna Nicole, Pam Anderson, Brittany, Marilyn.
Jenna
Brittany, the dead one.
Kalila
And now you don't cuddle. And poor Dave.
Esther
No, I do now. But there was an era where that really influenced me, that book, which, again, is really bad. Don't. Don't give it to your daughters.
Kalila
In the beginning days of Tinder, I. So I have. I want to say I have maybe two and a half degree separation from Jenna Jameson, who, by the way, is, like, such a goddess.
Esther
I bought her used clothing on ebay. Speaking of separation.
Kalila
Oh, my God. Yeah.
Esther
I have a Club Monaco sweater. That was her very own sweater.
Kalila
I like that Club Monaco sweater.
Jenna
How do you know that it was hers?
Esther
She sold it. This was before she went. She. Things changed in the last 10 years with her, and I have had to fall off.
Jenna
How do you know it wasn't just someone, like.
Esther
Because it was. It was. It was real.
Jenna
Okay, I know that you're saying that it was something. No, no.
Esther
She had a sale. She was posting about it.
Kalila
Esther tracks her every move. I don't think she'd get.
Jenna
You're right.
Kalila
You're right.
Jenna
You're right.
Kalila
Because the very beginning days of Tinder, before I matched with Bobby. So Bobby was my first and only, like, date on Tinder, and then, like, we fell in love. Right. But before I matched with him, I matched with Jenna Jameson's ex.
Esther
Tito Ortiz.
Kalila
Yes.
Esther
What?
Kalila
And I remember being so excited, not because it was Tito Ortiz, but because of Jenna Jameson. If I have that degree of separation to her. Because I love her. Love her, too.
Esther
We've never talked to her.
Kalila
This is like, early years. Like, when we would watch. Like, she was such.
Esther
She was such original.
Kalila
The og.
Esther
There's.
Kalila
An adult film actress.
Jules
Okay.
Kalila
But during that time, she was this blonde bombshell, like, top of her field.
Esther
She was, like, as famous as Paris Hilton.
Kalila
I would agree.
Jenna
She was so. She was. She was so massive jewels that at the time. That's definitely not her.
Kalila
That's her ex.
Jenna
Then at the time, Jules, from the time I was, like, 15 to 25, when I would tell people my name, they would just go, jenna Jameson.
Esther
Yeah.
Jenna
It was like everyone knew, right?
Kalila
So we matched on Tinder, and I remember him saying, wow. Do you want to come over and help me put Christmas ornaments on my tree? And such a move. It is. I mean, very wholesome. Right. Coming from Tito Ortiz. And honestly, like, build a snowman. I never replied. The only reason I even. I even swiped right was because I was like, oh, Jenna Jameson said with no intention.
Esther
Really?
Jenna
Is that a make America great again?
Kalila
Oh, yeah, of course.
Jenna
Okay, we're done with him, too.
Unknown
Body is fire.
Kalila
Yeah. He's literally the Huntington beach bad boy.
Jenna
Everything in Huntington beach is that into bodies. Like.
Esther
No, Me either. Also, Jenna Jameson needs a rebrand. I don't know what's been going on the last 10 years, but, like, she needs, like, a Christina Aguilera, Lindsay Lohan level. Like, someone needs to go in and just. Let's get her back.
Jenna
I think it's you.
Esther
I think it is, too.
Jenna
I think it's.
Kalila
Wait, can we have her on? Yeah, I would love to have her on. Does she follow you, Esther?
Esther
No, I've never, ever made contact.
Kalila
Just.
Esther
Just besides buying her clothes.
Jenna
Sounds like a ufo. We've not made contact yet.
Esther
I've just bought her used.
Jenna
We've seen it glowing.
Esther
In fact, like, my old podcast called Esther Club was because she had a website called clubjenna.com.
Jenna
And in fact.
Esther
In fact, the reason we're friends might only be because your name is Jenna. Think about that.
Jenna
Doubt it. I believe that you think about that.
Unknown
I also don't think there's anything wrong with being anti cuddle. Sorry. As an anti cuddler, I think it's.
Esther
I know there is. It's sad.
Kalila
Wait, Jules, can you tell me why.
Jenna
I wanted to talk to you about that? Because, like, why do you think? Like, okay, for example, one question. Her. Her question she asked at first, but then my 1B question would be, don't you feel good when you do cuddle?
Jules
I don't feel good. I feel like I'm, like, trapped, getting choked. But I try. I like, with my boyfriend. I like. I don't let him touch me. I do the touching, and he. I think he understands me, and he tries to, like, still touch, but I just get, like, overwhelmed.
Kalila
Yeah.
Jules
So I just, like, hold this finger or, like. Yeah, that's the max that I can do.
Esther
It could be something you build up to, though.
Jenna
Yeah, probably.
Kalila
But, Jules, when we were. When you were younger, I held you a lot. Like, we. I carried you. You were. You got a lot of affection as a young child. But where do.
Jenna
That's why, though. Like, because I have friends where they feel like they had so much affection that wasn't their choice. Like, from family members. And not, like, sexual abuse. Just, like, so much affection forced on them that as soon as it was their choice, they're like, we're done. We're done.
Kalila
I'm not sure, because my sister is also like Jules, where she just doesn't really hug, and I'm the opposite.
Jenna
I am like a whore with Renzo.
Kalila
They touch not in the same, like, level as me.
Jenna
I'm all you, and I want to touch all the time.
Kalila
I make you come over. What, just to, like, be thighs?
Jenna
Yeah. Couch. We're touching. We're snuggling. Our legs are intertwined.
Esther
That is crazy to me. But I. I like it.
Jenna
But I didn't used to like affection.
Esther
What changed?
Jenna
I grew up with a lot of affection, and my mom's like, it's so weird that, you know, it felt, like, frustrating to me. Like, irritating.
Kalila
It could just be factory settings, because I know some babies and toddlers are super cuddly and some not, and they could have the same parents, and just maybe that's just factory settings. You just, you know, maybe it's too much stimulation on your body. Because some people love massages. Some people do. Not at all. My sister cannot stand massages.
Jenna
What? Oh, shut up. You only get massages from me.
Esther
I know, and I love them. I love them.
Unknown
Love to meet Renzo and just get his. I'm so interested in this.
Kalila
Renzo is my. It's Kawinda's. Yeah.
Jules
My boyfriend's Ephraim.
Jenna
Ephraim. Yeah.
Kalila
You can meet me Renzo, though, if you want. He's a cop.
Jenna
Renzo's great. Yeah, Renzo's great, too.
Kalila
Jenna, happy birthday. We have gifts for you.
Jenna
Happy birthday. No way.
Esther
It's just me as your friend, as your gift.
Jenna
You're so lucky it's not my birthday. I'm just kidding.
Kalila
I have another dossier gift.
Esther
You're so lucky.
Jenna
Oh, my God.
Kalila
Another dossier ready for you, Jules, for my birthday.
Jenna
Do you want to sit on my lap? No. Can I sit on your lap? Okay, fine.
Kalila
I had to. Thank you.
Unknown
I didn't realize that you were vegan.
Jenna
I'm not vegan. It's very hard, guys, because you know what? I don't have allergies that fall into a diet. I'm not keto. I'm not vegan. I'm not vegetarian. I'm not a pescatarian. I just have allergies, okay? Apples, almonds, gluten.
Unknown
I did get the snickerdoodles which I know is A.
Jenna
These I can't eat. Yeah.
Unknown
Okay, good.
Jules
Holy.
Jenna
And these I can, too.
Esther
Oh, really? What are those?
Jenna
Sunflower seed buttercups that are gluten free, soy free, dairy free, tree nut free, peanut free. Free. Free.
Kalila
Most importantly, we have other gifts I'd like to present you. I want to present you a couple things. Exhibit A, B, C and D. Oh, no. Okay. I'd like to explain each one, if I may. Okay. Exhibit A. And I'm gonna give you the history of this and why it's special.
Esther
Wow. I've never seen someone look uglier than when they're eating an egg. That is I now. Thank you. Wow.
Jenna
You're right. I was like, oh, the whole thing.
Esther
In that was yucky as. Okay. Kick the floor.
Kalila
Okay. There is provenance to each of these items, right?
Jenna
Oh, my God. I see what it is. I'm so excited. Oh, my God.
Kalila
The first item I want to show you the backstory is that I was traveling and I forgot to bring or pack any underwear. I went to the nearest Walgreens. I got a three pack of XL Hanes panties. They are from a Walgreens in Hawaii. Kai. And I'd like to. They're about four years old. They're extra large because I was having. I was on my period at that time and I needed granny panties.
Esther
Get big when you hit your period.
Kalila
Why leave me alone?
Jenna
Just her gets bigger.
Kalila
There might be a period stain or two. Oh, there is.
Esther
I see it through the bottom.
Kalila
Yeah, that's one. My next one is a brand.
Jenna
Are you really gonna give this to me? Yes, I really am giving it to you.
Esther
She's so excited. That's so weird.
Jules
My next one is comfy because they're broken in.
Kalila
They're broken in.
Jenna
I just bought the same kind and I wear them inside out because this part bothers me because it's not broken in yet, but yours is just ripped, so it's perfect.
Esther
Where did you get yours?
Jenna
At an outlet. Haynes.
Kalila
The second one is a brand that no longer exists. They're called Nikki's. I think they're called subsets now. But I do see you ogling me when I wear them because they're very high and tight and so here you go.
Jenna
Is this for real? You're not gonna take them back?
Kalila
No, I'm not gonna take them back. The last one is sort of a reverse.
Esther
Are you an orphan? Is this for real asking?
Jenna
Shut up, bitch. Oh, my God.
Kalila
The last one is a sort of a reverse. Uno Move in that. They're actually panties you've handed down to me.
Esther
Oh, my God.
Jenna
I did.
Kalila
I'm just returning them to you because I've worn them and I've outgrown them and my body has. I've gained some weight and I can no longer wear them. So. Here you go. Back to you. They go.
Unknown
That's beautiful. Honestly, look at the disc.
Esther
That's the discoloration in the vagina.
Jenna
These were mine in college.
Esther
Are those Victoria's Secret?
Jenna
Yes.
Kalila
Yeah. And I had them for the last four years.
Esther
I remember those from college. Now I now what I have for you. Open your mouth.
Jenna
Guys.
Jules
Jules, wait.
Jenna
There's more gifts.
Esther
This is crazy.
Jules
For me. This has been handed down from Atika Winda, then Atika Lai, then my mom, and then to me.
Jenna
What?
Esther
Okay, this is underwear. I'm gonna throw up.
Jenna
This is like a tampon. So.
Unknown
It's very old.
Jules
There's a lot of stains.
Jenna
What?
Kalila
Show it. Show it. Jules.
Jules
This is my best underwear. This is my favorite.
Esther
It's not. It's not your best.
Jenna
Guys, I feel so bad that you're giving me your favorite underwear.
Kalila
She's gonna get take it back from you after this.
Jules
Yeah, after, After. I'll give it to you now.
Kalila
It's not a real gift.
Jenna
Oh, my God.
Kalila
Please explain how soft they are.
Jenna
If you rub it against your cheek, it feels like. Like a penguin when it's first born. The outside of its skin.
Kalila
Oh, the baby hair.
Jenna
Yeah. The little. Oh. Oh, the Boins. The bounce. The bounce, the bounce. And the ounce. Oh, my.
Kalila
Happy birthday, Jenna.
Jenna
I mean, look how brown they are. These. These could. These could use, like, a couple more years.
Esther
I'll take them off your hand.
Kalila
No.
Jenna
I'll put the work in these college ones. Guys. I mean, I wore these at the fucking quad at U of I. I wore these in the library.
Esther
At the library, when you're telling me to shut up.
Jenna
Yeah. Oh, my God. Enjoy these. These are. First off, these are my dad's sweatpants.
Kalila
They're really cute.
Jenna
From the 70s.
Esther
Wow.
Kalila
Oh, my God. Okay, when we first got here, Esther, you were talking. You asked me if you. If Jules is competitive.
Esther
Yeah.
Jules
And the least competitive.
Kalila
Except with your boyfriend.
Unknown
Except.
Jules
Yeah.
Jenna
Why is that?
Jules
I don't know. I get so jealous because he's so smart, he does so well in school. And then I feel like I try also, but then I get, like, not so good. And so I get so jealous. And, like, I get competitive.
Jenna
What if I said I'm the least competitive? Then would you want to compete with that?
Jules
No.
Kalila
Do you ever look at your partner and you're like, God, I wish I had those skills.
Jules
Yeah.
Esther
Yeah. But I don't. It's not like, God, I wish it. It's like, ugh, I wish I. It's like, it's more like, ugh, I wish I was the best. I was better at. But that's what your partner's for. They're. That's good that you want your partner to be better than you.
Kalila
That is true, Jules.
Jules
But is it bad to be, like, like, jealous? Because, like, he's so. He's so smart?
Jenna
I think just, like, add some joy and, like, humor into it.
Kalila
I wouldn't say it's. I wouldn't say you're jealous. I think you just as fire and are more frustrated with yourself than you are frustrated with him?
Jules
Yeah, I'm more frustrated with myself.
Jenna
Yeah.
Kalila
You're like, why can't I get it as fast as him?
Jenna
Yeah. And so you're like.
Jules
But I'm so. I'm so proud of him. Like, I, like, boast about him, but it's just.
Esther
Yeah, that's good. If you're proud of him, that's good. That's a good sign.
Jenna
You're, like, talking about him and wishing that he weren't that great.
Jules
No, no, no.
Jenna
You just want to be there, too. Yeah.
Jules
Yeah, I want to be there, too.
Jenna
Yeah. That's healthy.
Esther
Were you ever jealous of anything about Bobby? Like, his booger collection or glue fingers? Anything.
Jenna
His mess, the poop in his car.
Kalila
There's never been a single person I wanted to drive forward more than Bobby. Like, I saw him as, like, oh, my God, the funniest. Like, I. I. He was. The sun shined out his ass to me. Like, I literally put him on such a pedestal in my mind. And, Jenna, you know this. Like, Bobby is the coolest, the best dressed, the most artistic, the most so intelligent thing, the brightest guy in my life that I had ever met that all I wanted to do was, like, I was obsessed with making him realize it. Like, I wanted him to, like, live, like, because he was in a bad place in his career, and he was, like, in a really. Like, he was sad when I first met him, and all I wanted to do is, like, convince him that he was this amazing, amazing thing. And I didn't do a very good job at that because. But I think you did.
Esther
I think you did.
Kalila
But I really, like. Yeah, I was in awe of him.
Jenna
Wow.
Kalila
Yeah. But not jealous.
Esther
Yeah.
Kalila
No, just really proud. I Was proud to be his partner and. Yeah.
Jenna
And you were also a match for him. It's not like he was up here and you were down there. Like you were a match.
Kalila
Different. It wasn't my lane.
Jenna
Like, your quirks.
Kalila
I think it didn't come across. I. I regret for so long in Tiger Belly just being the antagonistic person.
Esther
Why it was so funny.
Kalila
I know that, like, people are, like.
Jenna
Doing it for a purpose.
Kalila
Yeah. You always throw him under the bus or you always, like, naysay him. But that didn't.
Jenna
I've never said anything nice about Esther because that's what's funny.
Kalila
Right. But that's the entertaining part. But the truth is, like, I was obsessed with him. Wait.
Esther
I have such a similar thing, though, too, with Dave, like, where I feel like sometimes when we're in a social setting, I'll kind of, like, make fun of him.
Kalila
Yeah.
Esther
But then it's like. So if people saw, like, then when we got home, it's like, I am the same. Like, I'm. I just think he's the most amazing person.
Kalila
I think it has to do with me feeling like. Like embarrassed of my obsession for him. So I have to counter that by playing it down and being like, oh, he's this and he doesn't clean. And he's a difficult person, but he was a difficult person to live with. But, no, I was thoroughly obsessed with him. There's a reason why we stayed together for a decade. Like, he could do no. He could do no wrong. I hate you.
Jenna
But I also think that when you're.
Kalila
Tone, lady, I know things about your exes. Watch out.
Jenna
Well, you've already said them all. But I think that when you're so close with someone and you love them so much, part of what you guys are describing is also something that I do too, where it's like, you're just. You're showing that you know the person. It's not a bad thing. You're flirting. Part of the flirting is like. Like, we have this little secret thing that, like, I know about him or I'm gonna. Like, it's. I see it as play.
Kalila
Yeah. I think that's what I wanted to come across. But I. I see now how it didn't always come across that way. It. It sounded like I was, like, nagging him.
Esther
I feel the same. I feel like I thought I was being playful and that. I look back and I'm like, oh, no, you. You came off rude about myself.
Kalila
Yeah.
Jenna
That's interesting, because people have told me that about. That I'VE been like that with R as well.
Kalila
Yeah.
Jenna
And I'm like, no, that's the way that we play. That's the way that we joke around. And they're like, no, it seemed like a little rude. And I was like, what?
Unknown
Esther, I feel like you have sort of a reputation for like. Like, when you're with Rick or anyone else. Like, I feel like you're non sensitive to.
Esther
Yes, I am. For the most part. Yes. I think that what. For some reason, what I'm explaining feels different than that. And I can't articulate how. What is. What would you say is different about the way Rick treats me versus the way you treated Bobby.
Kalila
Oh, that is true play.
Jenna
Yeah. First off, there's not a love relationship. You're not intimate, so it's completely different.
Kalila
I think that with a partner, I don't know that that's completely different.
Esther
Yeah, it feels different. I can't articulate it.
Kalila
Yeah. Because I feel like she can go, like, right for his throat. And I do think, like, with Dave, it's. There's a lot more like, reverence and respect.
Esther
Yeah.
Kalila
And it's more like, I know you so well. So these are. This is the insider info that I.
Jenna
Can use as exactly as, like, look how we know Rick.
Esther
It's like, I don't know you. I just. Just don't like you. I just feel like I'm just kidding to all the goblins out there watching.
Unknown
Because I'm like, at least someone's calling him out because we all see what's happening.
Kalila
Like, yeah, but the call outs are still in. In jest. Right. Like, I will call him out because he's so. Like, sometimes he says things on the podcast and I'm always like, that's not true, or, that's not how it went down, or tell the truth. Or.
Jenna
And you're literally the only person who could ever do that and who has ever done that. And so you're offering that aspect, which is a necessity. And I will say, ask Bobby if he feels like you're being mean. He's never in. That's my partner asked. It's like, they don't feel that way because that is part of our relationship and our closeness.
Kalila
In fact, like, nothing makes Bobby laugh harder than when I say something really, really, like, mean. Like, if I just come up, like, to him, and I, like, out of the blue, say the most atrocious thing about this person, like, and that's his friend, he will, like, be on the floor, like, laughing, and he's like, that's the funniest shit I've ever heard. And it makes him so happy. But, you know, we just have our own thing. He broke a tooth, by the way, over the weekend. How jobless.
Esther
Isn't that, like, dogs do that?
Kalila
Well, he texted me. He's like, I have seven left. And I was like, so rich. So toothless. I don't get it. I'll never get it.
Esther
How did he break his tooth?
Kalila
I don't know.
Jenna
Drinking water?
Kalila
Drinking, Exactly. He just asked me for. To help him with. Because we have a mutual dentist. So I was like, yeah. And he sent me a picture, and it was, like, grotesque.
Esther
Say more.
Kalila
And he. I was like, well, what did they say? And they were like, oh, temporary filling until I destroy the tooth completely. And I'm like, oh, dear God.
Jenna
But, yeah, I'm surprised he didn't call me to ask if I had an extra tooth.
Kalila
You do have.
Jenna
Oh, my God.
Kalila
Which actually do offer him your wisdom teeth.
Jenna
I have two, but I want to make a necklace.
Kalila
Well, you know, he can have one.
Jenna
Of my wisdom teeth.
Esther
Jules, did you get your wisdom teeth out?
Jules
Yeah, I got four. Done, like, in one day. And me, too. Yeah.
Kalila
Why again, Jules?
Jules
Because my. My teeth are, like, going sideways.
Kalila
Oh, there's actual crowding then. Yeah.
Jules
And then the dentist said, oh, you need to remove your wisdom teeth.
Kalila
Was it our boy Toonsy? Isn't he the best?
Jules
Yeah.
Esther
You know, I went in for a teeth cleaning a few days ago, and the dentist was like, oh, yeah, your mouth is really small. There's barely room for teeth. I was like, I had four permanent teeth removed. And he was like, yeah, they're still. I'm like, am I it? He's like, so that's why I have, like, more. I guess I'll just.
Kalila
True.
Jenna
You have, like, six teeth in the front instead of two.
Esther
I'll have. And this is because he said that that's why I have more bacteria build up, which I'm like, okay. I'm like a small dog, because small dogs have dirtier teeth, and I literally have that problem.
Kalila
My small dog.
Jenna
Oh, my God, that's you.
Kalila
Like, Remy blessed his senior heart, but, oh, my God, he could light your face on fire with his breath.
Jenna
Chester. Yo, we should take all your teeth out. That's what we did to Ella. Her breath did not stink no more.
Kalila
Esther, let's just. 20, 25.
Jenna
Like, look, when you laugh, your teeth are.
Esther
What? What are they?
Jenna
They're a lot.
Esther
Really?
Jenna
That's why you have such a good smile.
Esther
No, I don't. I don't know. It's just.
Jenna
I guess you do. That's why I'm always jealous of your teeth, because you can see them. You know, I'm always like, oh, I wish you could see my teeth when I smile.
Esther
Yeah, I can't see your teeth.
Jenna
Exactly.
Esther
You look toothless.
Jenna
Exactly.
Esther
Is that why you want me to get my teeth removed so I can.
Jenna
Add 16 more to mine? Esther.
Esther
But yeah, I feel like a small dog.
Kalila
You are a small dog. Can we take you to the vet?
Esther
Yes.
Kalila
I have a really good vet dentist.
Esther
Why do I get really excited about you taking me to the vet, like, on a leash and everything? Please do it. You have to take me. You can't send Jules or Jenna.
Kalila
You know what? That was my plan because it is in the west side.
Jenna
Oh, my God. One time I took Donut to the.
Esther
Wait, you had to pretend to be Kalila's assistant or something.
Jenna
Guys, the amount of people whose cars, animals, probably kids, are linked to my name to the point where, like, when they go. Like when Sosi goes to get. Get help from her vet with her dogs, they're like, jenna. We have to get permission from Jenna. And I'm like, it's not my dog. It's not my dog. It's actually her dog. I'm just like, the auntie.
Kalila
Well, let's take that one step further. Everyone's dogs is under my account.
Jenna
Wait, so tell me that everyone's now under your name.
Esther
I was, but she had to legally sign Donut back over to me.
Kalila
Right. Which kind of felt like a breakup, to be honest.
Jenna
That is crazy. Crazy. You had to legally sign back over Esther's own dog to her.
Kalila
Yeah, but I think Jules is my Jenna. So what Jenna is to you? Jules is to me because she. All the vet appointments, they no longer call me. They'll call her name, her name, and then she'll report. She'll give me. Oh, she does a great job of, like. Like, Remy is really broken. He has, like, I, like, intervertebral disc disease. He has, like, a lot of, like, things broken in him. He's 14 years old, and Jules will give me a whole medical breakdown, which is why I think you'd make a great vet. And she, like, is so thorough.
Jenna
And you love animals.
Jules
No, but before, I used to be so scared with, like, just, like, talking to the vet or, like, even ordering, but Atikalila just kept. Just kept telling me to do this, do this, do this, and now I got so comfortable, and now, like, I.
Jenna
Can basically see how it works. That's the best thing that you could do to Jules. Just be, like. Like, sorry you have to do this.
Kalila
Yeah, but that's because, like, honestly, it's because I'm so lazy, but great, because I'm so, like, low energy. So when she first came to the States, I was so scared she wouldn't even, like, call. Like, you know, she was too afraid to. Of, like, authority. So I'd be like, you have to make the vet appointment. You have to pick up the meds. You have to do this, this, this, that, and that. And then she. Now she's, like, the greatest, like, customer service person.
Jenna
It's incredible.
Unknown
Brilliant.
Jenna
That's so good, because she's benefiting. So keep being lazy.
Kalila
Do we have games?
Unknown
We do have a game.
Kalila
Okay, good.
Jenna
Also, can I just say that they still call me about Bobby's car. Hi, Bobby. No, not Bobby.
Unknown
So this is what I'm thinking for the game. It's a trivia game about Christmas, but, like, fun ones that I found on TikTok. I just. I want your guys opinions on how we should, because it's teams. I would love to have the most competitive person with the least competitive person. Most competitive. You guys are both competitive.
Kalila
I'm confident. So it's probably me and Jules and then Esther and Jenna.
Unknown
So that's exactly what I was thinking.
Kalila
One time I. I told Jenna, pack a bag. We're going to Catalina for a day. Dave was there because they were filming love.
Jenna
Yes.
Kalila
She bought, like, six suitcases. I was like, what do you think we're doing there? Like, you think that we're gonna, like, be, like, shipwrecked somewhere and that you need, like, what? What?
Jenna
And you need a lot of snacks in one day.
Kalila
Two bags were just all snacks.
Esther
Wait, why were you there? Oh, because it was Bobby there.
Jenna
Bobby was there, And I will say who fed everyone and who drove everyone around, even though I had taken drama.
Esther
Wait, a car to Catalina?
Jenna
No, it's a golf cart.
Kalila
Golf cart.
Esther
Is it fun there, or is it.
Kalila
It's pretty fun.
Jenna
We're not that fun.
Kalila
We dove.
Jenna
I was on Dramamine and, like, like, eyes closed the entire time because she.
Kalila
Got sick on the catamaran over. Which is, like, so crazy because it's a catamaran. It's, like, literally, like, the smoothest ride.
Esther
I want to go.
Jenna
We should go.
Kalila
We should have a day at Catalina.
Jenna
Bye.
Esther
Damn buffalo.
Jenna
There.
Kalila
Are you interested in that?
Esther
I don't know why I would be, but I. I could try.
Jenna
What's that I would go to see buffalo wasn't there.
Esther
You're so easy to manipulate.
Kalila
Wait. I really want to go to Catalina. Can we make a thing of it? Yes.
Jenna
They've got rats. Ooh.
Kalila
I think buffalo is there because they were filming something once upon a time, and then they buffed. The buffalo never left.
Jenna
Oh, my God.
Esther
It would be hard for buffalo to get off an island and see how that would present.
Kalila
I know. They didn't even care to, like, airlift them back.
Jenna
That's so sad. They were like, we reached our budget. Like, we can't bring them back.
Unknown
We ready?
Kalila
Yeah.
Unknown
Okay. Also, I want to call out the tiktoker that I'm obsessed with their questions extra medium on TikTok. So there's 10 questions with a bonus in case it goes over and each whoever gets it will get a point. Then whoever wins, we have prizes for number one. Starting out with easy ones, as usual. What did the reindeer not let Rudolph do because of his shiny red nose?
Kalila
Sing a song.
Jenna
I was singing in my head.
Esther
Play with them.
Unknown
Oh, I don't know if I'm gonna give that to you.
Kalila
Hold on.
Esther
Why?
Jenna
Think more.
Kalila
Hold on. Rudolph the red nosed reindeer had a very shiny nose and if you ever let all of the other reindeer.
Esther
I got that.
Kalila
I got that. No, Damn it.
Esther
Wouldn't let him play.
Kalila
The used to laugh and play.
Jenna
We got it. We.
Kalila
Yeah, sorry. We got some hype there.
Esther
Follow the end. What is it?
Unknown
Laugh and play.
Kalila
Laugh and play. We sang the song at the end.
Esther
I thought it was joining any reindeer games.
Kalila
They never let poor Rudolph join in any rain.
Jenna
Esther got it.
Esther
Esther got it.
Kalila
Damn it. We were wrong. And we screamed that loud. How embarrassing for us.
Jenna
Because it's used to laugh and call them names.
Kalila
Not used to laughing. We're stupid.
Jenna
Damn.
Unknown
What popular Christmas beverage is also called milk?
Jenna
Eggnog. Eggnog.
Kalila
I clapped.
Jenna
I clapped. I said it first.
Unknown
Jenna, you gotta clap.
Jenna
What?
Kalila
Yeah.
Jenna
I didn't hear that part of it.
Esther
That's true. Jenna didn't hear.
Jenna
What do we have to do?
Esther
I actually know that she didn't hear that.
Jenna
What do we have to do?
Kalila
Clap if you know the answer.
Unknown
Name a Christmas plant.
Kalila
Mistletoe. I clapped first.
Esther
Mistletoe.
Kalila
Montana.
Esther
You can't wait.
Jenna
But then you have to say it, Jenna. You just clap and be like, hold on. Let me think of the answer. True.
Kalila
Excuse me. I clapped so that she would acknowledge that. Kalila, please give me.
Esther
She's using all this time to think of it.
Kalila
No, Stella, I clapped first. Poinsettia.
Unknown
She did clap first. And she followed up with an answer. Yeah, I'm gonna give it to Kalila.
Jenna
Isn't Mistletoe right?
Kalila
I think.
Esther
Can we switch the rules now to shout out first?
Kalila
No, no, no. That's crazy. It's clap.
Esther
That can count.
Kalila
Okay.
Esther
That can count.
Kalila
My armpits are sweating. I'm angry.
Esther
Sir, calm down. Can we please switch to just shout it out?
Unknown
Yes, we can shout it out.
Jenna
Is Mistletoe right, though, or. No, it is. Yeah.
Esther
I was gonna say Holly.
Kalila
Just nine. Yeah.
Unknown
What is the first company that used Santa Claus in advertising? Coca Cola. Correct.
Jenna
Damn, bitch, you fine. That was hot.
Kalila
I wouldn't. I didn't even know that.
Jenna
Even the way she said Coca Cola.
Esther
That's how you play. Oh, Klila's freaking out.
Kalila
I'm freaked out. What's the score?
Esther
She's so angry. It's so funny that she cares.
Kalila
My mom's gonna beat me.
Esther
I'm scared. I don't want to win. I just want to play. I'm lonely.
Jenna
Also, I'll say that I already got fucking eggnog and Mickey. Mistletoe and the one that we got together.
Kalila
Okay, Go ahead.
Esther
Those did not, unfortunately count.
Unknown
In the song Frosty the Snowman, what made Frosty come to life?
Kalila
I literally, in my head, said, frosty the Snowman had a very shiny. Me too. Don't scream.
Jenna
Me too.
Jules
I don't know the song. So I can.
Esther
His carrot nose close his eyes.
Jules
Button nose, button eyes again.
Unknown
We're getting closer.
Esther
Corn cob pipe.
Unknown
Nope. Hands. Nope.
Kalila
Sing it, Jules.
Jenna
His hat.
Unknown
Yes.
Jenna
What? What?
Esther
His hat.
Jenna
I just guessed it. I have no idea about that.
Esther
Shit.
Kalila
Damn it.
Esther
Oh, my God.
Jenna
What's the song?
Esther
I know. I can't think of the.
Jenna
I'm a Jew.
Kalila
I know. Frosty the Snowman was a very happy.
Jenna
Yeah, this is a harder. Okay, we'll move on.
Kalila
Yeah.
Unknown
How many ghosts show up in Charles Dickens story?
Esther
3.
Kalila
Correct. Because you said ghosts. I didn't know. We couldn't wait till the question was finished.
Esther
Oh, she's getting weird.
Kalila
I'm getting weird.
Jenna
You're getting competitive.
Kalila
I like getting weird. This feels like all of a sudden, I'm in third grade kickball and, like, things that the pressure is building.
Unknown
Okay, that will be a rule. You have to let me finish and whoever says it.
Jenna
Okay.
Kalila
Thank you, Stella.
Jenna
I think I still want enforcing in.
Unknown
The 12 days of Christmas. What was the 11th one?
Jenna
No idea.
Kalila
Oh, hold on. 12 pipe. No, no. Oh, my piper's piping Yep. Thank God.
Jenna
Thank God, because this was about to get rough in here. We've lost another.
Kalila
Should feel my armpits.
Unknown
According to mine. According to Buddy the Elf, what are the four main food groups?
Kalila
Oh.
Jenna
What?
Kalila
Oh, oh, oh.
Jenna
Syrup.
Kalila
Yep. Syrup. I think it's all syrup. Sugar. Syrup. Sugar. Or something like that. Kind of Close.
Unknown
We have two of them.
Kalila
Syrup. Sugar. Is it frosting?
Unknown
Nope.
Esther
Chocolate.
Kalila
No, it's. It's all. All sugar.
Jules
Yes.
Jenna
Honey.
Unknown
There's some holiday candy.
Jules
Candy cane.
Jenna
Candy cane. Okay, well, she was going like this.
Esther
I know that. We all got that.
Unknown
And no. And there's one more.
Kalila
What?
Jenna
What's the lollipop?
Unknown
It's also. It's also a holiday candy.
Kalila
I just watched Elf the other day.
Jenna
But you said it's not a Christmas one.
Unknown
It's a holiday one, though.
Kalila
What is it?
Unknown
It is candy corn.
Kalila
Yeah.
Esther
I love candy corn.
Jenna
I know.
Esther
You're just crazy to not like it. It's just sugar, guys.
Jenna
No, it's. It's. It's not just sugar. I've had just sugar. Okay. Would I put just sugar. Would I put a candy corn in my coffee?
Esther
You should.
Jenna
Would you put a candy corn in your coffee? In your matcha and your tea? You wouldn't. Because it's not just sugar. It's crazy the safety and done period.
Esther
That people take against candy corn. I know it's the wrong holiday to be talking about it, but I just want to say that I love it and it's crazy.
Jenna
If you don't, good for you. It's disgusting. No one cares.
Unknown
Okay, next. What country celebrates Christmas by eating at kfc?
Kalila
Oh, God.
Esther
South Korea.
Unknown
Close.
Kalila
We're in the Japan. Yes.
Esther
Damn. All my Korean friends did that.
Unknown
This is a tricky one, guys. The song Jingle Bells was originally written for what holiday?
Jenna
Oh, Thanksgiving.
Unknown
Thanksgiving.
Kalila
Really? Why?
Jenna
Don't know. I just. Just made it up. I thought about what sounds festive and Jingle Bells strange.
Unknown
What reindeer has the same name as another holiday mascot? This is the last question.
Esther
There's Cupid.
Jenna
Esther, you are fucking. No. You know what?
Esther
No one's ever said that to me in my whole life.
Jenna
Esther is like. Like, not alterada. What's the word in English? You're not worked up about this? Like, we are. And so you can think.
Kalila
She can think. Her brain is clear. The freeways are wide open.
Jenna
As soon as she asks the question, Kalila and I go Dasher press. We go through all of.
Esther
Yeah, I did the same thing.
Jenna
Shut up.
Esther
I just know the songs better because I have a sad Life.
Jenna
What's the song?
Esther
You know, Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen. Donald, Donner, Cupid. Dr. Cupid, Donald.
Kalila
Blitzen.
Esther
No, it's someone and then Blitzen.
Kalila
Oh, yeah. Blitzen, Donner, Donner and Cupid and Prancer.
Esther
No, you know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen. Donald and Cupid and Blank and Blitzen, Connor and Kristen. Who am I missing?
Kalila
I don't know.
Esther
You know Dasher and Dancer of Prancer and Prancer.
Kalila
Oh, my God.
Jenna
Comet and Cupid and Donner.
Esther
Comet.
Kalila
Comet.
Jenna
Okay, I know them too.
Unknown
Okay. Actually, we have a couple more.
Esther
I love the reindeer names.
Kalila
Comet is really cute, but that is a brand of a bathroom.
Jenna
Donald. You thought that Donald was.
Kalila
Honestly, I can see it. Yeah.
Esther
Sure is a great name for anyone.
Kalila
I think it really is.
Jenna
Dasher's so cute. Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen. Comet and King and Donner and Prancer.
Esther
Is an amazing name.
Unknown
What is the name of a. In the past two years, it's been more popular of something that sits around houses that are Elf on a shelf. I'm pretty sure that was Kalila.
Kalila
I mean, as competitive as I am. So I think you're just afraid that I'm gonna, like, unravel and you gave it to me.
Unknown
Well, okay.
Kalila
But I will say that it's fine with me.
Esther
Cause I don't actually.
Unknown
To be fair, Jules went like this. Jules went.
Kalila
But here's the thing. I know maybe in a people pleasy way you want me to have it, but admittedly, we did say it at the same time.
Unknown
Okay, we'll do a backup.
Kalila
I'm growing.
Unknown
Who is the queen of Christmas? Culturally, Mariah Carey.
Esther
Oh, I have to finish. Let you finish.
Kalila
Elsa. Honestly, I was gonna say Snow White. I don't know. My name's Elsa.
Jenna
Dude, our brains go to the same.
Kalila
I thought it was a Disney reference.
Unknown
Three reindeer's names. Start with D, please.
Kalila
Oh, Gosher. Dancer, Donner, Dasher. Dancer, Donner.
Unknown
I don't know if Klyla was louder if she got that one, but I. Again, thank you, Stella.
Kalila
You're just trying to not let me punch.
Esther
We'll play the tapes and we'll see, but sure. Give it to her.
Jenna
Replay those tapes. I did not win that one.
Unknown
Gingerbread houses were made up from what famous fairy tale about a candy cow?
Kalila
Because they say Shrek, but clearly not.
Unknown
That fairy tale Candy house.
Jules
Oh, Hansel and Gretel.
Jenna
Yeah. Oh, my God.
Esther
Yes.
Unknown
What was frosty using as. It's a very easy one. A nose.
Jenna
Carrot.
Esther
Carrot.
Jenna
I said it first.
Kalila
Jenna and Jenna.
Unknown
Jenna and us are the winners.
Esther
Yes.
Jenna
Sorry. Yay. I mean, there's a nice. Esther doesn't get a gift because she forgot my gift.
Kalila
She has it. She's just wearing it.
Esther
Yeah, it just comes pre season.
Kalila
It comes cummed.
Jenna
It comes. Wow. Thank you, everyone.
Esther
Well, it's come to that time where it's some holiday. I don't know where. Wherever we are, wherever you are, we love you and we wish you a merry Hanukkah and a happy Christmas and.
Jenna
All the rest and Happy Kwanzaa.
Esther
And we will see you next week. Even though it's always a holiday, we'll always be there with a brand new episode. Goodbye, slugs. Let us know if you like candy corn. And who you think really won. I mean, we won, but think if you. If you think we won more than we did, let me know.
Unknown
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Podcast Summary: Trash Tuesday Episode - "Christmas Gets Competitive" Featuring Rudy Jules & Jenna Jiménez
Podcast Information:
Episode Details:
The episode begins with the hosts engaging in light-hearted banter, kicking off with a classic Christmas joke:
The playful exchange sets a festive and humorous tone for the episode. Khalyla also shares her upcoming tour dates, promoting her performances and encouraging listeners to grab tickets.
The conversation shifts to personal anecdotes about past relationships, diving into tales of ex-boyfriends with quirky and troubling behaviors.
They discuss the complexities of self-identity and the challenges of dealing with exes who exhibit conflicting behaviors, such as:
Khalyla elaborates on her ex's antagonistic behavior, revealing deeper insights into how personal traumas and societal pressures can influence relationships.
This segment highlights the importance of self-awareness and the impact of past relationships on present well-being.
The hosts transition to discussing their current relationships, focusing on affection, competitiveness, and personal growth within their partnerships.
They delve into how jealousy and competitiveness can surface in relationships, emphasizing the balance between supporting a partner and fostering healthy self-esteem.
Esther shares her journey towards embracing affection in her relationship, contrasting it with her previous reluctance influenced by familial experiences.
The conversation underscores the significance of communication and understanding in overcoming personal insecurities and enhancing relationship dynamics.
Adding a fun twist, the hosts exchange unconventional and humorous gifts, primarily consisting of underwear. This segment is filled with laughter and playful teasing, showcasing their camaraderie.
The exchange serves as a metaphor for the candid and unfiltered nature of their friendship, where even the most personal items become sources of humor and bonding.
Embracing the competitive spirit, the hosts engage in a Christmas-themed trivia game inspired by TikTok challenges. This segment highlights their quick thinking and playful rivalry.
As questions escalate in difficulty, the competition intensifies, leading to amusing interactions and moments of faux frustration.
The trivia game not only entertains but also reinforces the hosts' dynamic as both collaborators and friendly competitors.
Concluding the episode, the hosts extend their holiday wishes to listeners, embracing the spirit of the season despite the "trash" they've unpacked throughout the discussion.
Their heartfelt messages encapsulate the essence of "Trash Tuesday"—a blend of humor, honesty, and genuine connection.
Authenticity in Relationships: The hosts emphasize the importance of being genuine and setting healthy boundaries, even when it involves past traumas or current competitive dynamics.
Navigating Jealousy and Support: Balancing pride in a partner's achievements with personal insecurities is crucial for maintaining a strong and supportive relationship.
Humor as a Bonding Tool: Sharing unconventional gifts and engaging in friendly competitions strengthen the hosts' camaraderie and highlight the role of humor in overcoming personal and relational challenges.
Embracing Personal Growth: The discussions reflect the hosts' journeys towards self-acceptance and the continuous effort to improve their interpersonal relationships.
Seasonal Spirit and Inclusivity: Despite addressing "trash" topics, the episode concludes with inclusive holiday wishes, reinforcing the podcast's commitment to connecting with a diverse audience.
Conclusion
"Christmas Gets Competitive" offers a blend of personal storytelling, humor, and relatable relationship advice, all wrapped in a festive holiday theme. Esther Povitsky and Khalyla Kuhn, along with guests Rudy Jules & Jenna Jiménez, navigate through tales of past exes, current relationships, and playful competitions, delivering an engaging and entertaining episode for listeners.
For those who haven't tuned in, this episode promises laughter, insights, and a genuine look into the hosts' lives, making it a must-listen for anyone seeking relatable humor intertwined with heartfelt conversations.