Connor Wood Gets Riled Up

Summary

Trash Tuesday w/ Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn

Episode: Connor Wood Gets Riled Up
Date: June 2, 2026
Guest: Connor Wood (Comedian)

Episode Overview

In this lively and characteristically unfiltered episode, Khalyla Kuhn and Esther Povitsky are joined by comedian Connor Wood (of “Brooke and Connor Make a Podcast”) and recurring friend of the show, Ally. The gang dives deep into modern annoyances, social media doomscrolling, personal quirks, generational trauma, and childhood nostalgia. They riff on the weirdest things about everyday life—ranging from shows in LA, social anxiety, and chewing misophonia to Trader Joe’s mythologizing, Paris Syndrome, ordinary lives, grandparent deaths, and the pleasures versus dangers of vices. Throughout, the humor is sharp, self-deprecating, and real, and the group’s signature blend of relatability and irreverence is on full display.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Performing in LA and Comedy Hustle

• Selling out shows in LA is tough due to the competition and the recession. Connor mentions even buying the last tickets to assure a "sellout" technically ([00:20–00:47]).
• They discuss the difficulty competing during festivals and emphasize that "people have to be absolutely in love with you to spend money" ([00:56–01:08]).

2. The Sarandos Brunch Drama

• Story about Bobby Lee's distress over not being invited to Ted Sarandos’ famed brunch, and the social anxiety that comes with LA’s celebrity scene ([01:08–01:52]).
• Khalyla admits to bailing on Bobby’s invitation because of prioritizing health:

  “My health is bigger than Ted.” – Khalyla ([01:19]).

3. Family, Trauma, and Dark Comedy

• They discuss coping through humor about family illnesses and deaths, treading the line between joke and grief ([02:08–02:45]).
• Ally brings up running stand-up sets by her dad in the hospital, and the group discusses relatable, morbid family humor.

4. Connor’s Career Path: From Tech to Comedy

• Connor reveals being laid off from Bird during Covid via a mass pre-recorded Zoom call and the surreal corporate language used ([04:03–04:35]).
• Esther compares it to being "promoted to guest" at Johnny Rockets ([04:38–04:42]).
• Connor admits to lying his way through tech jobs:

  “I’d get there, like, I don’t know what coding is... I’d learn it on YouTube…” – Connor ([05:40–05:53]).

5. Infinite Scrolling & Social Media Addiction

• Connor brands the inventor of infinite scroll a “war criminal” for the impact on mental health ([06:11], [07:03]).
• They reflect on how infinite scroll changed the way we use social media and contributed to doomscrolling’s rise ([06:33–07:25]).
• Esther attempts to defend the “happy medium” of scrolling:

  “When I scroll, I find I learn stuff and... there’s joy... but is it that bad if you’re doing it a healthy way?” – Esther ([08:49]).

• Khalyla counters that the sheer volume kills retention ([09:27]).

6. Gendered Behavior & "Guy Brain"

• Discussion of which personal habits make them feel more “like a guy” or “like a girl” ([12:51–15:40]).
• Khalyla opens up about her (unusual for women) love of MMA and its cultural connections ([13:20–13:57]).
• Connor admits to “liking being bad” by drinking diet coke but being anxious about fighting/fights ([15:46–16:22]).

7. Aging Celebrities, Exploitation & Pay-Per-View Fights

• They critique Jake Paul’s boxing matches against older legends (Mike Tyson, Manny Pacquiao) as exploitative:

  “YouTube will give you $10 million to come fight for 6 minutes... but they are going to get... it’s like the old celebrity version of scam calls.” – Connor/Ally ([16:36–17:13])

• Discussion of the ethics and sadness behind these showbiz matchups for money ([16:27–17:36]).

8. Poetry vs. Comedy, Inspiration Lost to Memory

• Group laments how poetry gets blocked at open mics and is culturally sidelined in comedy spaces ([19:11–20:06]).
• They discuss how their best ideas come at inopportune times—right before sleep or in the shower—and never get written down ([20:06–20:54]).

9. Showers, Hygiene, and “Stinky Girl” Energy

• The hosts argue over shower frequency, with Esther the proud non-daily showerer, and Khalyla showers 3x/day ("Catholic guilt") ([21:10–22:14]).
• “Stinky girl” up-keep strategies, scalp scent horror, and the myth that you can "look" stinky ([22:54–24:31])

• "Just because I shower three times a day does not mean I’m not stinky." – Khalyla ([23:29]). "People have smells. Let’s let go of it." – Esther ([23:52]).

10. DNA, 23andMe & Family Connections

• Tangent about the accuracy and privacy concerns around 23andMe, differences in test results for siblings, and how this changes perceptions of family ([24:47–26:13]).

11. Paris Syndrome & Fantasies of Place

• Khalyla explains Paris Syndrome—when reality doesn’t match fantasy, especially visiting iconic locations ([30:25–31:35]).
• Connor relates, watching tourists blinded by their LA/Santa Monica expectations:

  “You don’t know you’re about to have three months of clouds… and the water’s freezing.” – Connor ([31:44]).

• The group discusses whether it’s better to force the vacation or acknowledge reality and make the best of it ([32:15–32:39]).

12. Ordinary Lives, Denarration, and the Book “Stoner”

• New concept: “denarration”—life not matching your internal story ([35:39–36:31]).
• Review of the novel “Stoner” and the existential crisis of living a “regular” life.

  “I need to be changed by a movie for three days.” – Connor ([40:29]). “What is so wrong with an ordinary life?” – Khalyla ([40:38]).

• Americans’ obsession with "extraordinary lives" versus contentment.

13. Misophonia: When Chewing Noises Drive You Mad

• Connor discusses his personal struggle with misophonia and the extremes of being annoyed by family member chewing ([43:06–44:44]).
• Khalyla notes that reactions are often strongest with loved ones ([44:00]).

14. Exes, Breakups and the Ghosts of Johnny Rockets Past

• Esther shares shock at learning her high school ex once tried to organize a surprise party right before dumping her ([46:25–48:25]).

• “But now to know that, like… he was planning a surprise party for me that I never knew about…” – Esther ([48:05]).

• Group reminisces about breakups, driving past exes’ houses, and the differences in how guys vs. girls stalk ([51:08–52:17]).

15. Trader Joe’s: Not a Health Food Store?

• De-mythologizing Trader Joe’s as a “health food store”—and how branding can trick us ([54:36–56:40]).
• Anecdotes about friends eating whole jars of cookie butter thinking it was healthy vs. realizing it’s just “processed market” ([54:36–55:40]).

• “I was convinced it was a health food store for the longest. It’s straight up frozen food.” – Connor ([54:36]).

16. Food Nostalgia and Shelf-Stable Childhood Meals

• Eating Chef Boyardee and canned foods cold or straight from the can, the nostalgia vs. the actual taste ([59:01–59:56]).
• Discussion on whether to revisit these foods as adults or preserve their memory (“I want to preserve that memory, so I’m not going to walk back to it.” – Khalyla [59:53]).

17. Coping with Grandparent Death and Gallow’s Humor

• Ally shares her 94-year-old grandmother’s passing and the darkly comedic way her grandma talked about death (“I can’t wait for my dirt nap!”) ([61:19–62:13]).
• Group reflects on how, with age, many people become ready for death and how that perspective can be comforting ([62:46–63:12]).
• Discussion of anesthesia, consciousness, and the “pleasant death” comparison when going under for medical procedures ([63:26–65:12]).

18. Pleasure as Medicine and "Greenland Sharks"

• Kalyhla introduces the phrase (via a midwife): “Pleasure is medicine” ([69:19]).
• They debate whether health is more about attitude and genes than abstinence—“There are people made for vices…” ([67:44–68:39]).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “The guy who invented infinite scroll is basically a war criminal.” – Connor ([06:16])
• “Promoted to guest—happened to me at Johnny Rockets.” – Esther ([04:38])
• “That can’t be good for me either. I’d rather watch the ball rolling, get the blender.” – Connor, contrasting doomscrolling with odd, addictive YouTube videos ([11:01])
• “Driving by my high school ex’s cul-de-sac...he knew my car. It was a dead giveaway.” – Ally ([51:12])
• “You don’t look like a stinky girl.” – Connor to Ally ([22:58])
• “Nothing is better than your head hitting the pillow when you’re tired. No billionaire can buy that feeling.” – Esther ([41:28])
• “What I love about you, Connor, is what I hate about Esther: his co-host lets him read poems on the show.” – Khalyla ([18:26])
• “My grandma kept saying—I can’t wait for my dirt nap.” – Ally ([62:08])
• “Pleasure is medicine.” – Esther quoting her midwife ([69:19])

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Key Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:20–01:08: LA shows & comedy grind
• 04:03–05:53: Connor’s corporate tech layoff story
• 06:11–07:25: Infinite scroll as a societal downfall
• 08:49–10:05: Defending social media “happy medium”
• 13:20–14:07: Gendered behaviors and MMA fandom
• 16:36–17:36: Celebrity fight exploitation
• 19:11–20:54: The poetry-comedy divide; inspiration and memory
• 21:10–24:31: Showering habits and “stinky girl” discourse
• 30:25–32:39: Paris Syndrome and vacation expectations
• 35:39–41:08: “Ordinary life” vs. “extraordinary life” & the book “Stoner”
• 43:06–44:44: Misophonia and family eating noises
• 46:25–48:25: Esther’s ex and the surprise party discovery
• 54:36–56:40: Trader Joe’s: from “health food store” myth to reality
• 61:19–62:13: Death positivity and grandparent stories
• 69:19–70:05: “Pleasure is medicine” as a new mantra

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Final Thoughts & Tone

Throughout, the group’s banter is conversational and quick-witted, balancing irreverence with moments of genuine vulnerability. Recurring themes include the absurdity of modern life, dismantling cultural myths, embracing personal quirks, and finding comfort in ordinary joys. “Trash Tuesday” continues to feel like a group therapy session for late-millennial/Gen Z women (and those who relate), peppered with dark humor, above-average self-awareness, and honest, oddball confessions.

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Related Links/Plugs

• Connor Wood’s Podcast: Brooke and Connor Make a Podcast
• Connor's Shows: Fort Lauderdale, Tampa, Orlando (June 10–13, 2026) “Spectacle” taping ([70:37–71:19])
• Ali’s Shows: alimccorsy.com/shows
• Trash Tuesday Patreon: patreon.com/TrashTuesday

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This summary covers the core discussion, skips ad reads, and highlights the best of the episode. For anyone who missed the podcast, this recap provides context, key themes, and memorable exchanges with timestamp navigation for deeper dives.

Transcript

[A]

If I was in college being like, oh, you guys are going to Ralph's, I'll be at Trader Joe's with my paper bag. You know, we do paper bags here at Trader Joe's because it's a health food store.

[B]

Exactly. You're trading.

[A]

It's a trader for him to table. Like Trader Joe's was.

[C]

How was your show?

[A]

It was. Well, it was fun. It was really fun. Are we recording right now?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, wow. Okay, cool. Okay. It was so awesome. It did sell out because I bought the last six tickets. Yeah.

[B]

I love you.

[A]

It was gonna. It was gonna sell out. Even if I had to call a credit card company and say, that wasn't me, there could have been 100, I would have called and said that wasn't. So on paper, it still would have sold out. But it's hard doing shows in la.

[B]

Why?

[C]

Yeah. And during this festival. Oh, yeah, this is hard in la, period. But especially during this festival. It's brutal.

[A]

Why is it brutal?

[C]

Well, just because you're competing with so many other shows. Also, we are in a recession.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

No one has any spend. They have to be absolutely in love with you to see you. Yeah.

[D]

Bobby, yesterday, I was supposed to go with him to what's his name? Ted Sarandos.

[C]

Oh, yeah, the brunch.

[D]

The. The brunch.

[C]

The notorious brunch.

[D]

Then I flaked on him.

[C]

Did you go to the brunch?

[A]

Oh, no, Nothing really comes across my desk.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

Trust me, it didn't come across my desk. I was just a plus one.

[B]

How did. Because last year, Bobby, like, literally had a mental breakdown.

[D]

He had a mental breakdown. I saw all the famous Asians at Sarando's brunch except him. And he was like, why is Otsuko there? Why is Jimmy O Yang? Why is everyone there but him? So he got invited this year and he was a kyla. Like, you gotta come with me. I flicked on him, like, early last morning, early yesterday morning, because I had to do blood work. And I was like, you know, my health is bigger than Ted, I think more important.

[B]

But he probably know you're not a comedian.

[D]

That's. Honestly. Absolutely. I am. So, like, this doesn't seem fun at all.

[C]

I was about to miss my grandma's funeral for Grace O Ali's podcast. I was like, whatever. She was 94. I said, everything I need. Yeah, she would have.

[A]

I put in some of my. My dad, like, some jokes about my dad who was just getting heart surgery.

[C]

Is he okay?

[A]

Totally fine. And that's the vibe That I got in the show too, when I like. But they were like. I was like, we're at my show. I wouldn't.

[D]

He's my dad.

[C]

Like, my dad got heart surgery.

[A]

Like, sound bored. No, I.

[B]

That's more like my comedy style, I feel.

[D]

Yeah. Your grandma thing, like, really got out hand for a lot of people. Like, people were worked up about my.

[B]

All my stuff. Wishing my grandma was dead then when she was dying. Yeah. It's our family. We're allowed to do as we please.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, I'm running my set past him in the hospital because I had to work on it. You know, he's dying and.

[B]

Is he here?

[A]

No, he's in Texas.

[B]

Okay, wait, let's introduce. Okay, so we have returning champion with. I see a new hairstyle. We're going to need to talk about it.

[D]

I see some pink.

[B]

Ali Mosky. Did you. Is this Kool Aid hair dye? That's what it like looks like in the best.

[C]

Does kind of look like that? No, it's professional. But I've washed it a lot of times, so it's kind of fading now.

[B]

I saw you like last week. How many times?

[C]

Well, I. I actually. I don't know. I know I don't watch that often, but I don't think. I think I've. I haven't seen you as often as you think.

[B]

Okay, maybe I'm like, connor. And I just saw your name and

[C]

was like, I know her.

[B]

And then we have our first time guest. Long time chasing him. Love him. Connor Wood, comedian extraordinaire. Welcome.

[A]

Thank you. Was it. Is that real?

[B]

Yeah. We love you.

[A]

Oh, my God. I love you guys.

[D]

Yeah. I think I've been like DMing you since like last year.

[A]

It has been.

[D]

You were in Hawaii. Bobby had a show like, hey, come to the show.

[A]

And I missed it.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Wait, I'm sorry to be so, like, boring question, but I did read that you were laid off in Covid. And then I was like, what. What was your job?

[A]

I worked in tech. I got laid off of Bird.

[C]

Oh, my God. The Big Bird layoffs.

[A]

The big. I was. I was one of them.

[C]

Wow. You heard? Yes.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, I was there. Yeah. Laid off on a Zoom. Laid off on a Zoom call. That was automatic. It was like prerecorded.

[B]

No.

[A]

And they're like 500 of you. We have decided to award you with no longer working here. And it was like worded like that. It was like backwards worded. I was like, wait, did we just get. Did we just get fired working here?

[C]

You're not.

[B]

That happened to me when I worked at Johnny Rockets. They were like, you've been promoted to guest.

[C]

I was like, h, that's crazy cool. That happened to me at Figaro Bistro. You work those? Yeah, yeah. The food is ass. Don't go there.

[D]

What do they say?

[C]

It was Thanksgiving, one of the holiest holidays. I was with my family, and I looked at the schedule that they sent, and I wasn't on it. And so I called my manager. I was like, hey, I'm not on the schedule. And she's like, yeah, we just figured you, like, wouldn't want to come in anymore. I was like, oh, is that what you figured? She was right. But, like, let me say that.

[B]

Wait, so what. What would your life be like if you were still working in tech?

[A]

It's such a good question. I. I really.

[B]

Would you be, like, a huge jerk?

[A]

I hope not. There's no way to know, because I hated my job, so it probably would have pushed me to being an asshole. But I was bad at my job as well, so I would have probably.

[B]

The comedian, like, it was already coming out of you.

[A]

Something had to happen. I was lying about, like, my resume and my GPA and my job history and everything. So just to get these jobs. And then I'd get there, like, I don't know what. What. What coding is, you know, And I'd learn it on YouTube, and then I

[C]

would go, you do have the face where, like, you could tell me anything and I would believe you. Like, there's so much sincerity in your face that were like, oh, I actually know how to build airplanes. I'd be like, of course you do.

[D]

You catch me if you can face.

[C]

Yeah. Really?

[B]

Oh, my God. Yes, I concur.

[C]

Yeah, you can remake.

[D]

I listened to your most recent episode with Brooke, and you said something that.

[A]

You listen to it.

[D]

I listened to it.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[D]

Thanks. And you said something that blew my mind. This weren't your exact words, but this is what I felt, is that the guy who invented infinite scrolling is basically a war criminal.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

Wait, what's infinite scrolling?

[D]

Well, you know, like, back in the day with MySpace, it stopped somewhere. You looked at something and it. The page just stopped. Oh, now it's like, you can go on.

[B]

Even Instagram would stop, right? Yeah.

[A]

You had to click load more. Like, you had to, like, acknowledge and intentionally be like, load more stuff.

[D]

It's true. I think that, you know, it's sort of like, the reason why we're kind of rotted up here. Like, it just never ends for us. Yeah, the doom scroll was invented by this guy.

[C]

Wait, why is he a war criminal Ally? What has he done?

[B]

I feel like you're not registering that this is. We're at war. This is war in our brains. Oh, like, we're not okay as a culture.

[C]

Okay, so like, metaphorically, he's a war criminal.

[D]

Yes, metaphorically.

[C]

Metaphorically.

[D]

Should I have specified.

[B]

I'm not smart enough to answer that part.

[A]

But the tweet, I was like, just rereading a tweet, which is like half of the things we clip, unfortunately, are me being like, I read this tweet and then we clip it and it looks like I said this thing, but it was that the guy that created the user interface of the Infinite scroll might have caused more deterioration for humanity than Oppenheimer nuclear bomb. Just like, in terms of lasting impact, which can't be good. I have been getting better at, like, if I'm watching, I do like, the pimple videos. Oh, my God, really getting it out.

[D]

So I heard that there's actually a study that men don't find that.

[C]

Yeah, they're not into it.

[D]

They're not into it at all. And there's like a biological reason for that. It's because women, we have the need to prune and clean and take care of, like, the people around us and our young, you know, and babies and stuff like that. Men don't have that. So it's very entertaining for us. I. I find it interesting that you like that.

[A]

I find it interesting that I like

[D]

that as well, because 99 of her audience is, like, female.

[A]

So is 90 of my audience.

[C]

What do you guys think about toenail clip in videos?

[D]

That. It depends. They're levels. If it's just ingrowns on the side, I'm game.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

If it starts to do the fungus. Yeah, I'm out. Like, I hate toenails, finger or injury to that area. Not. Not for me.

[B]

What about you like that?

[C]

Oh, I love it.

[B]

Can I defend the scroll for a moment? Yeah, I have thoughts because I have. Thank you. I have been, like, battling this because. Okay, yes, the scroll especially, like, I'm a new mom mode. I'm pumping and I'm scrolling. Right. And then I do notice that I'm like. Like my brain is fried from it. But then I also do feel like there is that happy medium where when you're like. When I scroll, like, I find I learn stuff and, like, I laugh and there's joy and there's. There's fear. But, like, Is it that bad if you're doing it a little, like, the healthy way?

[D]

Are you retaining things that you're learning? Because I find that I'm not retaining anything anymore because it's just the turnover is too much, too fast.

[B]

Okay, let me give you a specific example that I didn't want to give. Like, I was scrolling and I come across this account, and it's. It's a midwife, and she's, like, sharing all this stuff that I'm finding to be super interesting. And it's resonating with me. I DM her a question, she DM's me back. We're going back and forth. We're having a conversation. Now I love. She says, like, things that I think are gold. Like, I wouldn't have had that experience if I didn't scroll.

[D]

But I think that that's not an example of, like, mindless scrolling. Like, you're engaging. You're actually seeking something out for yourself and for the purpose of feeding your child. I'm talking about my algorithm where it's like, these women, I think, in South America, and they're like, rolling these balls, and depending on where the ball you get those. Depending on where the ball lands, you can either go home with a fish.

[C]

What?

[D]

Chicken. A new blender. And I watch all 10 minutes of it.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

And I watch over and. Oh, I don't miss a second. And I'm there for three, just watching these women in who knows where. That's Walking with Chicken.

[B]

You're not texting me back. Yeah, you're watching women.

[D]

I'm blocked. I'm locked in.

[B]

I can't leave.

[A]

I get it. I. I was hitting so many of Those, like, brainless YouTube, like, almost troll videos. Like, what is this even? What am I doing here? And so I stopped getting on Instagram for, like, a week.

[B]

Amazing.

[A]

And I got on Twitter, and I'm on Twitter watching four people die at 8am you know? So it's like, that can't be good for me either. I'd rather watch the ball rolling. Get the blender.

[D]

I know. It's so exciting. And now I'm guess. Guess what my algorithm is now.

[B]

What?

[D]

I mean, guess you know, our medical anxieties and pandemics.

[C]

Hunt of Ira. Yes. It's.

[B]

Are we scared? I've been meaning to ask.

[C]

I mean, it sounds Hunter.

[B]

It.

[D]

Hanta is scary, right?

[C]

Not a good name.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Are we scared? I know nothing.

[D]

I'm scared.

[B]

What, you're supposed to know this stuff.

[D]

No, I just know that. Okay, here's the upside is a Hanta has been around a while and for a long time is well studied.

[B]

Yeah. I think that we have, like, Covid trauma. Yeah.

[C]

I feel like everyone's obsessed with outbreaks now.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And as we've all got our eyes on these little.

[B]

Everyone wants to discover the next pandemic and, like, they want to be the new whistleblower, which you were as the original Covid whistleblower. Like. Like, Hanta is not giving covert. I just months before, like, I was on Reddit and I was like, I just knew it was coming.

[D]

I would say as early as, like, August 2019.

[C]

Wow.

[B]

I was like, this is. It's happening. Like, this is the one. And no one believed me. And I had to go on Lexapro. And my therapist. My therapist who specified. Specified an ocd. She literally. I'll never forget this. She got up and grabbed the door handle and licked her hand to make a point to me that I was crazy.

[A]

And then she died of COVID No.

[B]

Thankfully, no.

[C]

That's crazy.

[B]

But in this, I'm like, look, a broken clock is right twice a day. And that's where that's really what happened with.

[C]

Why was your therapist doing exposure therapy on herself for your.

[B]

I think she's desperate.

[A]

Doorknob in my mouth right now. I don't care. I love the doorknob.

[D]

This won't listen.

[B]

The therapist, they get desperate with me. Okay, wait, I have a question. Based on what? How you're saying that he likes pimple videos and that's like, opposite gender thing. What are ways that you guys know about yourselves that you are more traditionally like, the opposite gender? Because I've realized it takes me three minutes to get ready. And that is weird. That is like, I'm a guy in that way. Like, do you guys have ways where you feel like I'm more like a guy or more like a girl? That doesn't make sense.

[D]

Yeah, I have one. It's really embarrassing.

[B]

Let's go.

[D]

You know, I've been a lifelong fan of MMA since it was 1999 on

[C]

pay per view, but that's, like, so Filipino.

[D]

It's true. You know what? Oh, my gosh. Yes. Because we're boxing fans.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Thank you. It turns out I like that about myself. I'm just Filipino. Anyways, that's my thing, the MMA thing, where I'm just like, ew. Like, it's so not my crowd either, but I watch it alone on my iPad like a weirdo. Because I'm like, this is like my secret yeah. You know, beep.

[A]

It's legal. Be proud that you enjoy fighting.

[B]

It's legal.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Maybe not all the fighting is legal.

[A]

Oh.

[D]

But I do. I do think the best fights are the women fighters, by the way. I just want to put that on.

[C]

Yeah, they're great.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

I'm like, I know for sure. I do so many things guy style, but, like, nothing is coming to my head right now.

[B]

Guy style.

[D]

Guy style.

[C]

Guy style. Guy brain.

[B]

Hashtag guy style.

[A]

Do you like beer?

[B]

No.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

That was my only.

[C]

Oh, well, see, because everything I'm thinking is, like, examples of me being a pick me girl.

[B]

Oh, let's hear them.

[C]

Because I'm like, oh, I love playing billiards. But I'm like, no, I don't.

[D]

No, you're just Filipino.

[C]

Okay, I'm Philippines.

[D]

Yeah. Yeah, you're Filipino. Because billiards is so a women's sport.

[B]

She's saying that it's fake.

[C]

Yeah. It's like, I don't actually love it. I only love it if there's, like, an audience of.

[D]

Oh.

[C]

So I can, like, arch my back, be like, you know, it's very corny.

[B]

Yeah, I get that. That's proud of myself. Every guy I've ever dated either loves magic or hates magic. And, like, depending on who I was dating, I had to pretend to love or hate it, and then, like, I forget which, but Dave hates it. So what, your truth is? Yeah, I don't know my truth.

[C]

I love magic.

[B]

You do?

[C]

Oh, yeah. I'm a freak for magic. I love going to the Magic Castle. But see, that's another example of. I think I love magic because I love reacting to it when people are around.

[B]

You're having an identity crisis today.

[D]

Who are you when no one's watching? Ally? Oh,

[C]

I don't know.

[D]

Are you a magic girl or not? Imagine.

[C]

No, I am a magic girl. But I definitely, like.

[D]

I'll.

[C]

I'll put it on a little bit.

[A]

I'm a performer.

[C]

I'm a performer.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

That's who I am when no one's around. I'm a performer.

[B]

Connor, do you have anything that comes

[A]

to mind that makes me more like a girl?

[B]

You take good care of your skin. You look like you do. No.

[D]

What?

[A]

I know. I lucked out. I like being bad and getting. And getting a Diet Coke. That's probably what makes me most girly. And I don't like watching fighting. Makes me nervous. I hope they don't.

[D]

I love that. I think that's the correct instinct.

[A]

It's like, I'M not Filipino today.

[D]

You're not Filipino today. You're not Filipino.

[A]

No, I can't. I can't do the. It sucks because, like, my friends will be like, we're gonna go because we don't want to pay for the pay per View fight. And now it's like $75 to watch Jake Paul fight an old man.

[D]

That stuff. I won't watch the. The Jake Paul, like, Mike Tyson stuff. It's like, it's all. It's a joke to me.

[A]

You think, you think it's crazy. Netflix has us out here doing shows and they have him fighting old people.

[D]

Yeah, it was so sad. I hated it for money.

[B]

Wait, why say why that's bad?

[A]

I think. Well, he has like a Manny Pacquiao type. Come on. Like this, this OG who's probably not getting the income that they. They got for being this like, world class fighter and they spend a lot of money, a lot. When they're like those huge athletes and then they get an offer from Jake Paul. The YouTuber will give you $10 million to come fight for six minutes.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And they take that. But they are going to get.

[C]

It's like exploitative.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

It's like the. You know how like everyone's grandparent got like, fooled by a scam call that was like, this is your son. He's in Mexico and he's been killed or like, like he's on the brink of death and then they. Their money in gift cards. I feel like this is the celebrity, the old celebrity version of that where it's like $10 million to fight.

[D]

This makes it sound even sadder. Well, where I am a girl is I. While I do watch the fights, I don't watch the knockouts. Like, if it's like a really horrible, injurious type of like, finish, I turn away and I don't look at that.

[B]

Do you. Are you guys insinuating basically that, like, because what was the fight? Logan, Paul and Mike Tyson. Jake, Jake, Paul and Mike Tyson. Are you insinuating that, like, Mike Tyson was. Is actually like so old that he was able to get like, really seriously hurt? Because in my mind, I'm like, he's Mike Tyson. He's fine.

[D]

No, I think that. No, I think he. Well, how old is Mike Tyson? 60. 60. Something like he's.

[B]

Everybody. 60 is different.

[D]

And I think he really did try and he really did go through a full training camp.

[C]

Why did we all see his butt? Was that on purpose? Do you remember when.

[A]

Oh, he's like, he Wore like ass was check.

[C]

Yeah. Oh, he did like, did he know that there was a camera on him?

[A]

I don't know. Definitely. Like we're talking about it. Maybe it was. Yeah, maybe it was.

[C]

Get some buzz reviews. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Engagement. He was engagement. Farming us with his. His butt, his ass and cheeks.

[D]

You know what I love about you, Connor? And this is a dig.

[B]

No, what at you is this gonna be?

[D]

What I love about him is what I hate about you. So you know that his co host lets him read poems on the show. There was a time in my life where I truly embarrassingly thought like I wanted to be a poet. I was dating Bobby at that time and I was like, he's like, well, what do you know? What other things are you thinking of doing? I was like, I think I'm going to be a poet. He was like, nah. Early on when we were filming Trash Tuesday, I would try to like read these poems to Esther and she would cut me off after the first line. She was like, I hate this. Do not do this, this is horrible. And. But Brooke, let him finish. Beginning to end.

[C]

You wrote a poem.

[A]

It's. I cannot read it here. It is not like genuinely, I would hope she would cut me off.

[B]

Can I defend myself?

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

I think that comedians need to be anti poem because think about it, we're sitting there at the open mic and we go up and we have to try so hard to be funny and then the. A poet goes up. What?

[A]

Spoken slam poetry?

[B]

It's not funny.

[C]

I feel like, I feel like poems need to be read in like a reality TV show confessional. It's like you're alone in a booth with a camera on you, no one else is around.

[D]

I also do think that social media ruined poetry in general because there's so many of these little, like if you look away, like just these.

[C]

My mom sends so many of those.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

And life slogans.

[D]

It's. Poetry is dead. But. Sorry.

[A]

No, no. I just woke up. I was a little bit jet lagged. It sucks. I don't know. Do you guys have this where the. The most brilliant concepts that I'll ever have are on the brink of sleep?

[B]

Yes, yes, yes.

[A]

Or on the.

[D]

In the shower for me.

[A]

Shower on a run and about to fall asleep. All times when I don't have any form to like save it. And I'm like, like, oh, remember this? And all I wake up with is, you had a good idea last night and you'll never know what it is. And I want you to know that

[D]

you had it all the time. And it's getting worse for me too, because I don't remember. Because my memory, I think, is shot from infinite scrolling that all my good ideas get washed away in the shower. I'm like, wow, that was brilliant. I knew it was brilliant. I felt excited about it.

[C]

Wait, they have. They have like shower crayons.

[B]

It didn't solve the problem. Well, I also never took a shower.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah, same. That was probably my issue.

[C]

You do you shower?

[B]

That's the first shower.

[A]

Okay. Do you guys shower?

[B]

It's.

[D]

This is a very sensitive topic for Esther and I because we're on completely opposite sides.

[B]

She showers like three times a day. She has like Catholic guilt about something.

[D]

You know who else does? Tom Ford. I saw the Met gala. They were like, tom, how many times do you shower? And he was like, three. I was like, I don't want to be like that guy. So now I don't want to shower.

[B]

Come over to the dark side.

[D]

I want to try, but I just don't think I have the genetics for it. I think my eczema is going to flare. No, I'm going to itchy. My hair is going to.

[C]

It's going to be good for your skin.

[D]

Can I. Okay, let's do this experiment.

[C]

Yeah. Does that mean that we have to shower every day?

[B]

No, I'm not doing that. I can't. I can't shower.

[D]

But you have to be honest with me. After day three, you have to sniff, test me.

[B]

I love to everywhere.

[D]

My crevices too, lady.

[B]

Then you got to smell mine. We'll see, cuz. I have some questions.

[A]

What's going.

[C]

The thing about being a stinky girl, and I think you can back me up here, is that, you know, you're not showering every day, but you're still maintaining the crucial areas.

[D]

How is that maintained without, like water running, you know, your body?

[C]

Yeah, dude wise.

[D]

Really?

[A]

Oh, no, I'm lying. I shower twice a day too.

[B]

So you do.

[A]

Mine is like, I can. I can't get in. But if I get in bed and I'm like, when's the last time I washed my hands and I can't remember. I'm like, I get up out of bed and I have to wash my hands.

[D]

Same, same. That's me. My feet. My hands feel it.

[A]

Like I physically feel parts of my body. I'm like, I need to.

[D]

Yeah. I think it's just.

[C]

Yeah. If like my feet feel gross, I'm like, I'll just put socks on. Oh, it's not in the bed. Yeah.

[A]

That's so. It's incredible. The. The breadth of life that's available for us. Like, there's. I wish I had that. I seriously, seriously do.

[C]

And I don't wish that I had that.

[B]

That was. This is a poem. Stop it.

[C]

But I don't look like a stinky girl.

[A]

You don't.

[C]

I know. That's why I could tell it. Okay.

[B]

The hair.

[C]

The new hair, cool thing.

[D]

Wait, do you think that color pink or that. That is stinky girl?

[B]

I don't know. Yeah, it's cusp.

[C]

But I think.

[D]

Okay.

[C]

Without the pink hair.

[B]

You're so freaked out that I might think that you look stinky. It's really bothering you.

[C]

I just think a lot of people wouldn't assume that.

[B]

First of all, I don't. I actually am a big believer. And you can't look stinky.

[D]

I. I disagree.

[C]

I disagree.

[D]

And by the way, I also want to say, just because I shower three times a day does not mean I'm not stinky. I stink.

[C]

It's because you're showering too much.

[D]

No, there's just. If I smell it on myself, even, like, do you like your own, like, bl. It's probably not because no one around me ever says I smell there. I was like, oh, you smell fine. But it's my own, like, perception of, like, if I smell like I care. It's like, it's.

[B]

People have smells. Let's let go of it. No.

[D]

No, thank you. Who gives a cuz if I am accosted by that scent? Like, I. I. My day is ruined. Like, but it's like. Or like this. When I walk into an elevator and it smells like scalp.

[B]

You're so hard on scalp.

[D]

I hate scalp.

[C]

You have to be so close to scalp to smell scalp.

[D]

No, you don't.

[C]

You must have, like, a crazy nose.

[A]

I've smelled scalp before. I know what you're talking about. It's not even, like, musty. It has just, like, a very, very specific, like, I know this smells skin and not. Not wet skin. Not.

[D]

It's like, hot, hot.

[A]

It's a heat thing. Yeah, it is.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Huh. I didn't know other people smelled that.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Have you ever smelled someone's hat? No, I'm not, like. I'm not talking about my hat.

[D]

I don't. I don't like it.

[C]

Nasty.

[B]

That's good. Passes the test.

[A]

Definitely smells like scalp.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

I also describe the smell. Not bad, though.

[B]

Question for you as a white person, but what is your ethnicity? I, like, can't figure you out white.

[A]

There's some native American somewhere, but not enough for free college.

[D]

Okay, wait, was 23 and me a scam?

[C]

No.

[B]

Why?

[D]

You told me something about how, like, they were being sued for something. Was that so Now I'm thinking my ethnicity breakdown is not real.

[B]

No, I think I told you that 23andMe's test for the BRCA gene is, like, not as expansive as the doctor can give. Like, which is totally unrelated.

[D]

Oh, breast cancer.

[B]

It's like a breast cancer gene that. Because the 23andMe was testing for, like, genetic mutations. I do think, though, that, like, everyone says, take your data off of there.

[A]

That's what I was.

[C]

Oh, okay.

[A]

I thought that was the question for the white person from Texas was, they're selling your data. They're collecting things to. Or something.

[C]

I let my sister take the bullet for our data.

[B]

No, it's not accurate. Siblings will have different breakdowns.

[C]

Oh, God damn it.

[B]

Isn't that crazy? My niece and nephew. Like, I'm way more related to my nephew than I am to my niece.

[A]

Oh, no way.

[B]

Yeah. Like, it thinks that I have a different relationship with each one. I forgot what? Yeah, but I'm their ha. Like, it's my half sister.

[D]

Oh, that's right.

[B]

But still, my niece is like a cousin and my nephew.

[C]

Do you treat them differently now?

[B]

Yeah, I do.

[C]

You're like, I don't know you.

[B]

Well, I'm.

[C]

You're my cousin.

[E]

Close your eyes. Summer smells like sunshine, fresh citrus, and salty air. What if your living room could feel just like that? With Pura's new summer collection, it can restore your sense of well being. With fragrances designed to move with your day. From bright, energizing mornings to soft, relaxing evenings. Make the invisible unforgettable, forgettable. This season, visit Pur.com to find your new favorite summer scent.

[D]

This episode is sponsored by Better Help. You guys, It's a summertime. And I know that some of you are like, great, fun summer. We get a break from school. But that's not always the case. Summer can be your favorite season, but can also be extremely overwhelming, Especially if you have kids and you're, like, counting down the days so your kids are back in school. All of these things can really take a toll on your mental health if you don't address it. It. And that's where better help comes in. Therapy has been an indispensable part of my life. I do not go without it is the reason that I have the life I have today. Therapy can help people better. Understand their needs, feel more confident setting boundaries, and create a version of summer that actually feels good. BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform, having served over 6 million people globally. And it works. And what I love about better help is if you're not satisfied with your therapist, you can switch at any time at no additional cost.

[B]

Cost.

[D]

You don't have to say yes to everything. This summer, find support in therapy. Sign up and get 10 off at betterhelp.com Trash Tuesday that's better. H-E-L-P.com TrashTuesday so you know how some days it's like 6pm you're starving, you're panicked, you're hangry, and somehow there's nothing in your fridge? I know that happens a lot in my household. I'm too busy following my toddler around, and I'm like, oh, crap, it's dinner time. What do we do? Home Chef is literally the only reason we now have meals that are actually balanced and delicious. Plus, we're saving money by not always grabbing takeout. Let's be real. I'm not organized enough to be a meal prep person. Never was, never will be. I'm not that type of mom. This is why I love Home Chef. It makes everything so simple. And dinner is on the table and it's super freaking delicious. Let me give you an example of what their menu could look like for you in a week. This week it's French beef dip sandwiches. Oh, and those potato wedges on the side. Parmesan wedges. Home Chef makes cooking so simple, you guys. It's fresh food delivered, easy recipes to follow, and meals that actually taste great. No long shopping list, no complicated prep, and best of all, it's easy cleanup and people really love it. Home Chef is rated number one by users of other meal kits for quality, convenience, value, taste, and recipe ease. And for a limited time, Home Chef is offering our listeners 50% off and free shipping for your first box. Plus free dessert for life. Go to homechef.com TrashTuesday that's homechef.com TrashTuesday for 50% off your first box and free dessert for life. Homechef.com TrashTuesday must be an active subscriber to receive free dessert. This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is the all in one website platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online. We use Squarespace. Everyone I know uses Squarespace. Whether you're just starting out or scaling your business, Squarespace gives you everything you need to claim your domain, Showcase your offerings with a professional website, Grow your brand and get paid all in one place. From consultations to events and experiences, showcase your offerings with a customizable website designed to attract clients and grow your business. Plus, you get paid on time with professional on brand invoices and online payments. Make smarter business decisions with Squarespace's intuitive built in analytics tool. Review website traffic, learn where to focus engagement and track revenue from bookings, invoices or product sales all from one place. Head to squarespace.com trashtuesday for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, use offer code Trash Tuesday to save 10 off your first purchase of a website or domain. Check out squarespace.comtrash Tuesday for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, use offer code Trash Tuesday to save 10 off your first purchase of a website or domain.

[B]

What is Paris syndrome?

[D]

In the 80s, this Japanese man noticed these Japanese tourists in Paris who were crashing out like they were, were nausea, they were nauseous, experiencing dizziness, hallucinations, having like a full like mental like breakdown. And it turns out that the reason they were crashing out is because they had fantasized about this idea of what Paris looks like because it had been such a revered thing in Japan. This is, we're gonna wear our hat, we're gonna have our, you know, baguettes, we're gonna do this. And they get there and Paris is Paris. It's a city. It's got rats, cats, it's got real people, it's got homelessness, it's got the Eiffel Tower in the backdrop. Sure. But it's a real city and it there, this, this illusion is shattered for them and they can't handle it.

[C]

But people are hallucinating.

[D]

Yes. And it's a real thing. But it's not even just Japanese people in Paris. This is a thing that happens when people have an expectation of going to a place and they've built it up so much in their mind and they get there and they get mugged or they get, you know, whatever, and they can't handle that this dream fantasy land isn't dream fantasy land for them. And that's how I feel when I see people, the Hollywood like walk of fame and I'm like, these poor people,

[A]

I get really bummed out too sometimes. Like I, I stay on the west side when I visit LA now and that's where I lived. Like Santa Monica.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

And I would see people, 8am families walking down with their chairs to go get their spot on the beach. And I go, oh, you don't know that. We're about to have three months of clouds. Like, it's going to be. The water's freezing at 60 degrees. And I see people bring their kids down and be like, we're visiting. This is our vacation. We just got out of Ohio. We're here this week. You're going to get in the 40 degree water that the sewage goes into in Santa Monica. Like, you are going to get in there and you're going to enjoy it and we're going to talk about this and we're going to take pictures.

[D]

But I feel like that's a better coping mechanism of being like, you know what? We acknowledge this isn't what we thought and we're going to make the best of it.

[A]

I just wish they would have reached out to me before.

[B]

So.

[A]

I know, I know you have to come in July.

[C]

If anyone has plans on visiting Los Angeles list, reach out to Connor W. Yeah, let me.

[A]

I genuinely will guide your hand.

[C]

Wait, why don't you have one of those Apple maps that's like Fibula's guide to the city. I'm always.

[A]

Can anyone.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Just do that.

[C]

I. Whenever I'm on the road, I'm always looking at the Jonas Brothers favorite tour spots and I go wherever they go.

[B]

I didn't know that either.

[A]

That's so cool.

[C]

Yes. I love the Joe Bro's favorite spots

[A]

around the US I am unable to, like, if someone asks me for a recommendation, I cannot not. Nothing comes to mind at all.

[C]

Or I get so nervous that they're not gonna, like, I have to give so many, like, prefaces. I'm like, you're only gonna like it if X, Y and Z. If your parents are divorced and this is the right spot for you.

[A]

I'm. I'm. I can only advise on like, time of year and weather. I really, truly, like, everyone always talks about LA weather, which does kind of ruin you. Like in New York, I'm cold if it's below 70 and I'm really, really hot if it's above 70.

[C]

It has to be.

[A]

It has to be 70.

[B]

I relate to that.

[A]

Yeah, it's insane. It's. And I feel embarrassed.

[B]

When and where in LA can I go to a beach?

[A]

You can go to Santa Barbara.

[D]

I think in Malibu. Malibu. Like, you know, Leo Carrillo or like already Orange county, but like Laguna and those areas. She will never step foot in a beach, by the way.

[B]

No, but I want. At some point I'm gonna have to take my Child to the beach.

[D]

Okay. This is what, as a family, we've discussed Aces beach day all week. This week.

[C]

What?

[D]

Because we're getting like, I'm. I'm entering my van life era.

[B]

I feel like you're gonna end up raising Ace.

[D]

Well, because Jules had. Was crashing out over this. She was like, ate. Ace has to see the beach. She has to know beach culture. She has to know the ocean. She has to have a relationship with the ocean. And I was like, well, there's like a plot of Moana because she watched Ace over the weekend.

[B]

Has a sandbox and a sandbox.

[D]

And I was like, you're gonna have to take that up with Esther. And she was like, couldn't we just take her to the beach? You think Esther would let us take her to the beach? I was like, I don't know. You're gonna take that mother.

[B]

Yes, but where would you go?

[A]

What is right. Right north of Santa Monica, which is before all the spillage. So you're like.

[D]

It's like Will Rogers.

[A]

Will Rogers.

[D]

Yeah. That's actually. It is clean sometimes.

[A]

Yeah. It can be nice.

[D]

And it's a great kid beach.

[A]

It's. That's what I was going to say. It like, doesn't break. The waves don't break in a way. And so you can kind of walk out a little bit. There are a lot of kids there too.

[B]

Me pretending I know what wave breaking means.

[D]

Just look scary waves coming. Oh, my God.

[B]

Nightmares that the waves come from.

[C]

You go to Long Beach?

[D]

Well, that's the water you don't want to enter.

[A]

Is that where you're from?

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Oh, hell yeah.

[C]

If you go just a little bit down to Seal beach or Sunset, Seal beach has sharks. Just trying to enter the chat.

[B]

You've been rejected.

[D]

No, but Long beach is the best. To this day. I think that it's the best place to live in la. Like, yeah, I think it's so, like, unmatched.

[C]

Oh, my God. I would love to put an Apple maps guide together of places.

[D]

Can you and I do it together? Because I live there for. I went to Cal State Long Beach.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[D]

I'm a 562 girl.

[B]

Trash Tuesday. Long Beach.

[A]

Go Beach.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, guy too. Get in there. Wait, so okay, back to this Paris syndrome. Oh, yeah, yeah. It reminds me of this concept called being denarated. And I don't know if you guys have heard of this.

[C]

No, no.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[D]

It sounds like, really sad.

[B]

It's bad narrated. So it's basically this concept where, like, Your life isn't what you thought it would be. And so you're. You've been, like, denarrated. Like, you're. It's. It's not what you pictured and you, like, lose touch with.

[C]

Oh, no.

[B]

Yeah. But that, to me is the same thing as Paris syndrome. It's like, I thought this was going to be like, box A, and it's not. It's like box B. And now I'm questioning everything and I don't know who I am anymore. Like, I feel like I've had that so many times in my life. I've never been to Paris because one of my pretty friends said it was dangerous. And Dave is like, please, can we go to Paris? I'm like, no, it's not safe. But I do feel like I don't want to go to Paris because I don't want to know what it's really like.

[C]

Why don't you just go to, like, a small little town in France? Yeah, because I had Paris syndrome when I went. You did? Yeah. But I was also an alcoholic and I was, like, blacked out at some hostel with an Australian guy. So I don't know if I was getting, like, the full Paris Paris experience.

[D]

Okay. I will say, like, I felt similarly when I was in Madrid at a hostel with some, like, stinky guy in a bunk above me. And I didn't, like, love it.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

And then I went back and I had a different Madrid experience. I was like, oh, this place is amazing. So the hostel kills it.

[C]

Yeah, well. And I got like, you know, you're in Paris. I. I had one of the artists by the Eiffel Tower do a photo of me. And so I'm like, having my Paris moment. I'm like, sitting, getting my photo drawn like the Titanic, you know, and then he shows it to me. I swear to God, the photo looked more like him than like me. I have a photo of it. It's crazy. It's so offensive. And I was like, I'm never coming back here. It was brutal.

[A]

So I. I read this book recently, the only. Recently. It's the only book I've read in, like 10 years. Read a book to completion. I was so happy. It was the most upsetting book. And it is full blown denaration, 100%. It's called stoner. Has anyone heard of Stoner? It's this book about this guy's horrible, horrible life, but he truly does nothing to change it. And it makes me frustrated. It's like Manchester by the Sea. Like, obviously that movie is Sad, but move. Don't live in Manchester by the sea. Your life is so sad.

[C]

That's so Venice beach of you.

[A]

What?

[B]

What?

[C]

I feel like that mindset is so fun to speech.

[A]

You are not a tree. Move. Yeah, so like this guy's life, the whole thing is just like so upsetting here. It isn't.

[B]

It's a 1965 novel. Oh, that's not what I expected it to be.

[D]

Yeah, I thought it was going to be a Stoner.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

About the quiet, often disappointing life of William Stoner, a literature professor at a Midwestern university, from his poor farming origins to his death. Exploring themes of love, loss and the search for meaning in an ordinary life. So there's an unhappy marriage, transformative affair, struggles with academic politics.

[A]

Okay, the affair was the best part. And without, like, hands down, I was happy he was getting laid. His wife wouldn't have sex with him. He has his daughter, his wife makes his daughter hate him, and then his daughter becomes an alcoholic, moves away. I'm just like, change your life. He gets old and he never. His work doesn't get better and he doesn't feel fulfilled and he loses his family.

[C]

And the.

[A]

Then by the end, he's dying. And they walk you through him dying and he's saying to himself, well, I guess this is it. And then he says to himself, and what did I expect? And I was like, I'm going to throw up into this book right before I finish it. It made me like, so sad. He's like, I didn't do anything.

[D]

Have you heard of this? I hate, like, alluding to this study because it involves like dogs getting beat. But there's this study basically that right now where it's like. Like if you keep a dog at. With living in certain conditions within abuse for long enough, even after years of doing that, even if you were to place 10 exits around them, they wouldn't leave. So it's like, I think if you bog a soul down enough with life circumstances or unhappy things, you can see all the exits and never take any of them. Them is what I think of William Stoner.

[A]

You're pretty spot. And that must be it. I think there was like a. It upset me for him. I'm yelling to the book.

[B]

If you could redo the book, what would you have him do?

[A]

Get Tik Tok famous. I need to move to LA and do podcasts.

[C]

If he just went to one Tony Robbins conference.

[A]

Seriously, just like. Or Mel Robbins.

[C]

Yeah, one of the Robins.

[A]

Let them.

[D]

They're not related, are they? No, Interesting.

[C]

But see, I think a book like that is good because I'm sure it, like, inspires you because you finish reading it and you're like, I gotta do something that.

[A]

But it also, like, it changes you for three days. You know when you leave a movie and you, like, start.

[B]

You're like, new personality starts now.

[A]

You kind of look, yeah, I need to be changed by a movie for three days.

[D]

I have a hot take on this, though. What is so wrong with an ordinary life?

[A]

That's the thing. So obviously I googled the hell out of. Like, I'm like, I need answers as to, like, like, why this is written in this way. And this, this author came out and he's from, I think, London, and he was upset at how upset Americans were with how depressing the book was. He's like, I didn't find it depressing at all because for most people, this is their life.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I was going to say it's just an ordinary life.

[D]

It sounds like it. There was an affair. He was a professor. There was a. There was a good job. It sounds like a regular life. And I think that living in la, you do kind of think that unless you chase after the stars, that somehow your life is less meaningful. And I don't believe that Paris syndrome.

[C]

I think, yeah.

[B]

There is no such thing as an extraordinary life. I think it's like we're all just humans and you can only feel as much as you can feel as a human. And you're gonna feel it. Like I was saying this, I think, think last time we were recording, if I'm really, really tired and sleep deprived and my head hits the pillow, that is going to feel so good. No billionaire can buy a feeling better than me hitting my pillow when I'm tired.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

And I think that the book itself is a testament to even, like, going through his ordinary life was worth the read. Beginning to end.

[A]

It was.

[B]

And how many people with extraordinary lives are just as sad as that guy?

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. Well, that's what they said is there were a lot of high highs and low lows. They were just different, you know?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like him publishing his work at the end of his life, he's like, looking at his estranged daughter and his wife that hates him, and he touches his book and then he dies as he touches.

[B]

Well, that is sad.

[D]

That's the biggest tragedy. There's like family estrangement.

[A]

Yeah, Well, I mean, like, there's. They're there, but he's like, this is really what I. I have to leave. Like, I'm not really leaving my family. I'm leaving my work.

[C]

You know what book is kind of similar? I think maybe Similar Vibe is my year of rest and relaxation.

[A]

I was told not to read that because of how my. Because of my personality. They said it would affect me.

[C]

Oh, wow.

[E]

Summer smells like salt in the air and warm sand. Restore your sense of place with Pura's new summer fragrance collection. Discover transportive clean [e-mail]

[D]

I know that you have misophonia.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

So if and at any point our chewing and our slobbering on this banana is bothering you, let us know.

[A]

I'm. I can talk myself through it. You heard on this podcast that I actually had someone making mouth noises in a public place that were, like, so absurd to me that I had to leave. It made me so filled with anger that I was like, I actually need to get this fixed because I don't like this version of myself that I want to, like, hit him with my laptop in the head.

[C]

I just realized I've been open mouth chewing gum this entire. Okay, great.

[A]

And I would have.

[D]

So what I learned about misophonia. Sorry, I didn't mean to point the banana at you. What I learned about it is that it's actually worse with people, you know and people you're close with. Because I don't have general misophonia when I hear other people eat. But if I hear my mom's blemming, like, if.

[B]

When I hear.

[D]

I'm sorry. Even like a. A distant mem of my mother, like, I feel the rage, anger. But there's. It's contextual for me. I have contextual misophonia where it's like, I can't hear my loved ones do that.

[A]

I. I totally get that. I had to. I have to say to myself, dad has to chew so that the food can go down.

[D]

Like, he literally has to choose the calories. Yeah.

[A]

So he. This is something that has to happen. Happen. Because the way my dad chews, it's cavernous. He will chew with his mouth closed. There's nothing he can do. I can hear it. And I'll sit across the table and just stare and think things. It's bad. And it's literally a me thing. I can't help it.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't hate that part of me.

[C]

I don't have misophonia, but it did remind me, like, my mom. I think this is just me being in. My mom being annoying to me. When she drinks out of a can, she puts her upper lip Lip so far over the thing. It's like, it's like. It's like enough. Like it's gonna go in your mouth. Why do you have to seal the whole.

[B]

She's really.

[C]

She does such a big lip over it.

[A]

Have you said this? Have you told her?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Ugh. But then I noticed that, like, I. I do it.

[B]

Oh, no.

[C]

Like, it just comes to me naturally. And so I have to like, actively be like, like, close your mouth. Small mouth.

[B]

Oh, my God. But okay, you guys don't like chewing of humans, but you do, like when, like, you hear a dog licking water, right?

[D]

I don't mind it as much now, but my whole family does not like the sound of dogs cleaning themselves in the morning when they're lapping up their own puss or their little.

[B]

Oh, God, we live for that in my household.

[D]

I know, I know. But like, Jules, she'll freak out about that. That if she's out, she will scream from across her.

[B]

Stop it.

[D]

Stop it.

[B]

Me and Dave will literally voice record it and send it to each other and we're like. It's like our favorite thing is her little licking sounds.

[D]

You.

[B]

No, no.

[A]

I like to give my dog watermelon, and he chews and I. I could listen to a podcast, 60 minutes of him chewing watermelon. I think it's. Or an apple. So crunchy. But if my dad did it, shoot him with a gun.

[D]

Esther, why does it say you have an update for us about your ex?

[B]

Oh, my God. So you know how I'm obsessed with my high school ex?

[C]

You know this.

[B]

Connor, welcome. Welcome to the show. I have worked through it, right? Like, I'm less obsessed as I, you know, married with two children. It's been 20 years. But I did get an update from the past that shocked me. So it's not going to be that big of a deal.

[A]

I just got chills.

[B]

You said shocked me, but it is crazy. Like, a friend of mine from high school, she's like, hey, Esther, like, I'm with some camp friends. We were going through our old Facebook messages and I found this old message from your ex, and I wanted to just show it to you, like, hahaha. And I read it and it's him. Him planning a surprise party for me

[C]

and you gotta get back with him.

[D]

What?

[B]

No, no, listen, it's him planning a surprise party. He's like, here's I'm throwing a surprise graduation and going away party for Esther because I was going to Scotland for the Fringe Festival at the end of the summer and it's like all the details for the party and my friend responds. And then like a couple days later he writes back, party's off. Sorry, guys.

[A]

Bone chilling.

[C]

Why was the party off?

[B]

I think because he dumped me.

[D]

Wait, let's walk. But do. I don't even know why he dumped you.

[B]

Me either.

[D]

I know. I got with another girl at Johnny Rockets.

[B]

Yes. So I worked it for context. I worked at Johnny Rockets. I got him a job there. Then a new girl started working there and he started dating her. No, that was it. And like, we were like high school sweethearts together for two years. Whatever. I'm sorry that I'm really stunted. Connor. I don't want you to like, no,

[A]

I'm really locked in, I don't know note.

[B]

So I've been like obsessed with him ever since. And he's blocked me on all platforms. My movie Drugs for June is lowkey about him. But yeah, now to know that like, in the weeks leading up to him dumping me, he was planning a surprise party for me that I never knew about.

[D]

Wait, what did you do?

[B]

I don't know.

[D]

I need to know because I feel like I always thought he was the villain and now I think that you're the villain because it's like this man was planning a full blown party and then out of nowhere it's off.

[B]

But I know I'm getting the chills. I feel like the party though, like, was just for like show. I don't know. Like it was. I. I don't. It's so shocking to me knowing what things were like in those like, summer months that he was planning a party. Like, it's just weird. Like, I can't. I can't make sense of it. You guys. I never knew about that. This. And the funniest text I've ever seen in my life is just him going, sorry, guys, party's off.

[A]

Like, that's like baby shoes never worn.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Bone chilling. I'm serious. Because they don't. They didn't have the context. Even seeing that now it's like, that's a relic.

[B]

And this truly, it's a. It's from 2006. Never knew, never saw.

[C]

Whenever that happened, I'm like, what else do I not know, right?

[A]

What was happening behind the scenes?

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

This is not quite as similar, but finding out you were cheated on after. I'm friends with some of my exes. One of them is Bobby. But then you hear once you've gone through the breakup and it's years afterwards, and then you Go. You walk memory laying down together. And you're like, hey, remember this time? So and so. Or they talk about a story and then they talk about a girl and it wasn't you. But then the timeline is when you guys were together. This has happened at least like six times in my life.

[B]

What?

[D]

And you're like, wait a second. When did you. You say you Valerie on that lawn? And they're like, oh, it was this time. And this time I was like, we were. But I never say, but we were together because it doesn't matter anymore. But then I have to keep these little, you know, crazy little pieces of information where I'm like, I didn't know. It's like, am I glad I didn't know? Because that would have wounded me more.

[C]

I think so, yeah.

[B]

I found out after the fact. And I'm like, I can handle that.

[D]

If you had found out then about the party, would you have with a breakup had been even harder for you?

[B]

You. I don't know. Honestly, though, I. I am bone chilled by the whole message exchange. But over the party, it's like. It's almost like, icks me out that he was throwing a party. Like, it's like, weird. I don't like.

[D]

You don't like surprises. Oh, my God. You would have broken up with him if he threw you a surprise party. You hate surprises.

[B]

I know.

[D]

Maybe that's his way of breaking up with you.

[C]

He knew that if he knew it.

[D]

She hates surprise parties. Like, she will end friendships over.

[B]

Yeah, like, no, I want one.

[C]

September 8th.

[A]

Is it your birthday?

[C]

Start planning.

[A]

Yeah, we're like, almost birthday.

[C]

When's your birthday?

[A]

September 11th.

[D]

Oh, sorry.

[A]

I'll celebrate on the 8th with you.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Surprise. I'm coming.

[C]

My high school boyfriend, who I was obsessed with, I would drive by his house so often. Keep in mind, like, I broke up with him, but I would still drive by his house constantly just to, like, see what was up if the lights were on, you know, girl, this is me.

[B]

This is my game.

[C]

But he lived in a car cul de sac. And so it's like he knew my car. I couldn't be like, oh, I've had to drive past. It was like I went out of my way every time to go through the cul de sac.

[B]

That's really. That's unlucky for you.

[D]

I do feel it's so different when a boy does this, you know? I know.

[A]

Driving past the Culdesac, circling around.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

I mean, there was one time where I had to tell my. I Was like, sergio, get out of that bush. Cuz I saw him, like, like, in the bush. In the bush outside of my house. And I was in the room with another boy who had a huge crush on, who had just come back from college from Harvard.

[C]

Like an extra and bad bunny super bowl performance.

[D]

Yes. I was like, sergio, get out of the bush. And I saw his BMX bike, like, parked, like, not too far, and I was like, scared. Cuz it's different. Yeah, it's different.

[A]

Sergio, get out of the bush.

[D]

Sergio, get out of the bush.

[A]

Every word in that sentence carries its own individual. Sergio, get out of the bush.

[B]

Yeah, that's poet Connor. Do you ever. Have you ever had to drive past an ex's house?

[A]

No, I was just thinking back to, like, Facebook messages. I deleted Facebook a long time ago, you know?

[D]

Are you not on Marketplace?

[A]

I don't re. Downloaded Facebook for Marketplace.

[B]

I need to get on Marketplace.

[D]

Marketplace is it. I just bought a whole calamansi tree situation.

[A]

A what?

[D]

A calamansi tree. And that's what I brought. I have calamancy juice now because I bought a tree from Facebook. Yeah. I mean, it's a Filipino lime citrus that Trader Joe's is starting to sell it, but.

[A]

Oh, wow, wait.

[B]

Speaking of Trader Joe's, I'm never eating Trader Joe's meat again.

[D]

What?

[B]

You want to know why?

[C]

No.

[B]

Because there's a dog in my neighborhood who was, like, 21 years old, and I'm like, what is your secret? Like, what. How? I asked the dog, what's your secret? And the doggies mommy and daddy told meat. That they make him. They make the dog her. They make her fresh, like meat. And they're like. One day, we tried to serve her meat from Trader Joe's, and she refused to eat it. And so she only eats meat from McCall's, which is, like, this really expensive,

[C]

but I'm sure I'm not taking my grocery advice from a dog.

[B]

Okay, well, I am. Okay.

[D]

Budget for this, but you. You don't feed donut kibble, do you?

[B]

I. We do wet food and some kibble. Is that okay?

[D]

I don't know every. I don't feed my dog's kibble.

[B]

What do you feed them?

[C]

Good for their teeth, though.

[D]

It is.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

To chew on.

[B]

I was told we can't do all wet food because they need the kibble. The fiber.

[D]

I don't give kibble.

[B]

What do you give?

[D]

Just mommy milk. Yeah. Real food. Sometimes cooked, sometimes from pet plate. Mostly from pet plate.

[A]

We do farmer's dog.

[D]

Yeah. Farmer's dog.

[A]

I like farmer's dog because one time I waited too long to give it. Like, there was. They gave you a lot, obviously, per order. And it went bad when I was like, oh, that's good that it's going bad. Yeah, it fermented and it literally, literally popped, like, the bag. Like, I went to cut it and just. I was like, okay, that's not good.

[D]

That's a good sign.

[A]

The craziest thing about Trader Joe's to me is that we all, like, I don't know we all. I'm saying we are. And I'd be the only one we all, like. I was convinced it was a health food store for, like, the longest. It's straight up frozen food. Like, that's what it is. And when I woke up, it was because this girl that I went to college with had come in and she was like, I'm obsessed with this new thing from Trader Joe's. It's called cookie butter. And she's like, I eat it every day. And then I can't remember how much time had gone by. And she came in and she got Regina George. She thought it was a healthy food. She was eating a jar every three days with a spoon. And she's like, I've gained 17 pounds from cookie butter. And I was like, oh, my God. Trader Joe's is simply just processed market

[D]

cookie butter as, like, a healthier version.

[B]

It's just the thing with Trader Joe's is, like, there's some butter if you're just, like, of a certain age or a certain.

[D]

She did that to herself.

[A]

I mean, I was like, what did you think?

[D]

But I know what, you know, she

[B]

didn't do it to herself. I'm on her side because there's something about the branding. Like, the. It feels like it's marketed as a natural health food store. And, like, they do just enough where you feel like when you're buying iced animal crackers that for some reason they're better for you because they're from Trader Joe's.

[C]

I think regardless if cookie or butter is in the name, let alone together, it's probably not the best option for you.

[B]

You don't understand me and Cook Connor. Okay.

[A]

No, I was. I was fully on. I was like, bring out Joe. Like, I want to shake his hand. You've changed my life. I was in college being like, oh, you guys are going to Ralph's. I'll be at Trader Joe's with my paper bag. You know, we do paper bags here at Trader Joe's because It's a health food store.

[B]

Exactly. You're trading.

[A]

It's a trade bar to table. That's what Trader Joe's was the most processed. Like pizza bagels. What in that would have been a health food?

[C]

Well, the signs are all handwritten. They really. Did you do that with really processed food in your body?

[B]

Were you not duped?

[D]

No, because I, I don't know if it's because I didn't grow up here, but the OG Trader Joe's is in Pasadena and that's where I lived for a really long time. So it was very much like a point of pride for me to be like, do you know like, like the Trader Joe's is ours. So I don't take this Trader Joe's slander well guys. And because I never thought of it as a health food and I think they're an honest corporation. And I'll buy your tote bags forever because I don't buy purses for myself.

[B]

Well, I will also buy their tote bags and I will even wait in line for limited edition colors. But I will not buy their meats or their pizza bagels.

[D]

And their produce is not great. Sucks it. It straight up just sucks. Their mangoes are always stringy and I'm like it's mango season. Why are we still with the stringy mangoes? But, but it is so affordable still. It's affordable and it's like for like a bigger family. I totally get the Trader Joe's route.

[A]

I agree. I think that if they sold rotisserie chickens and normal produce that wasn't like 3D printed, it would be a really one stop shop. And it's affordably right. And I'm in hotels a lot so I go to Trader Joe's and I get this stuff. But I like if I was stocking my home, I wouldn't buy from Trader Joe's.

[B]

What do you get when you get.

[C]

Yeah, what's everyone's go to in your hotel room?

[A]

I'm gross. I'm pretty gross.

[B]

Nasty boy.

[A]

I'm really bad.

[B]

What do you get?

[C]

Clif bars Rx.

[D]

God, their protein bar selections is so bad.

[B]

Although they have bear bells, which are we also Dave recently has been having Clif bars and like thinks it's a health and I don't know how to break.

[C]

He's having cookie dough. Trader Joe's experience right now getting the

[A]

cookie butter protein bars and they're randomly really bad. I get the pre made like burritos and I eat them cold which is.

[B]

That's something only A man can do.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't have a microwave in the hotel that I stay in here.

[C]

Oh, wow.

[D]

You find ways. Blow dryer, something to heat it up.

[A]

Changed my brain to be like, cold, good.

[D]

Wait.

[A]

Cold egg.

[D]

I do think that this is true for some foods, like spaghetti, cold the next day, delicious. Even some cold meats. As long as the fat hasn't, like, turned into gelatin quite yet. But cold spaghetti, incredible.

[B]

My dad will, like, for a meal, have a can. Out of the can.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

No peas and carrots. He's like, what? It's fine. I'm just like, what? This is like some 1940s kind of.

[C]

I used to do out of the can. No, no heating. Like Chef Boyardee.

[D]

Chef boy. Ever the ravioli, doing this. Like, it's Italian.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I want.

[C]

You know, I. I tried them to, like, have nostalgia to heal my inner child. It was the most disgusting thing I'd ever. Yeah. Or no, not SpaghettiOs. Chef Boyardee.

[D]

Well, that's why I'm afraid to. I. I have a. It's gonna. I'm gonna go Paris syndrome. Like, I have such a perfect fantasy of Chef Boyardee because when I first came from the Philippines, I was like, you mean to tell me I get to have ravioli in a can every sing life? Like, I love America. I'm never leaving this place. And I want to preserve that memory. So I'm not going to walk back to.

[A]

You can preserve that memory because those cans last for a hundred years.

[B]

Yeah. And they stay the same. That's like McDonald's. I. When I had a McDonald's cheeseburger for the first time in, like, 15 years, I was, like, immediately transported. I'm like, nothing has changed. This is the only consistent thing in my life.

[D]

So do you think that I will feel warm and fuzzies if I. I absolutely do.

[B]

Okay. Yeah.

[E]

Okay.

[D]

Ally, you say no.

[C]

Yeah. No. Chef Boyardee is disgusting. And it used to be my favorite.

[B]

That's because you didn't heat it up.

[C]

Do you want to talk about my dead grandma? Yeah.

[B]

Wait, Ally, what happened?

[D]

When did you die?

[C]

Yeah, so my grandma died. Not the way. So my grandma's dead. She was 94. Got this gorgeous ring. Thank you, girl.

[B]

Congrats.

[D]

What did you get, Esther when you were a lawsuit?

[B]

My grandma died. All I got.

[D]

It was really triggering for us. Are you showing this jewelry?

[B]

Yes, because when my one grandma died, my dad.

[D]

An opal ring.

[B]

So when my dad's mom died, he's like, I'm never going to get married or have kids. So he gave away everything. So I have nothing from her. But then when one of my. My random cousins died, I got an opal ring that was my grandmother's. I got it back. But then when my recent grandma died last year, I got a lawsuit, so congrats. Let me see that ring. I like it. That's a ring that I would want. Yeah.

[C]

She was 94, and I'm so happy that she got to die because she wanted to for, like, eight years. So it was kind of long overdue.

[A]

My grandma turned 96 on Tuesday.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Not to rub it in, but my

[C]

grandma's funeral was on Tuesday. Wow. Circle of life.

[A]

Welcome back.

[C]

Welcome back.

[A]

No, I'm sorry. That was not Kosh. But she talks about death and dying so casually.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

That we'll be sitting, having coffee, and it's like 7:45 in the morning, and I'm like, do you. Do you want anything up here? I'm going to. I'm going to make some toast. And she's like, toast is great. When I'm on the other side and you're having toast. And I'm like, please don't throw in when I'm on the other side and I'm about to butter my cookie, butter my toes. I'm chilling over here.

[C]

My grandma kept saying, I can't wait for my dirt nap.

[A]

That takes it a level. Yeah.

[C]

But it is kind of nice, like, being an adult with, like, a dying grandparent, because it's like, I'm not a child. I don't expect her to live forever. I know she's gonna die. And I was, like, able to have conversations with her about, like, dying. And I was like, how do you want me to see you when you're gone? Like, you know, some people are like ladybugs or butterflies. And so I'm like, how do you want me to see you? And she goes, money. And I was like, oh, like a lucky penny on the ground. And she goes, nope, just cash. I was like, okay.

[A]

I like her.

[C]

Yeah, she was fierce.

[D]

I also think that it's really helpful to know that when you get up to a certain age, like, you do want to die, like, you're ready. And that is because it's one of my bigger fears in life. It's just like, what if I'm not. What if I want more and I'm not ready to go? It's nice to know that people are ready to go.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I feel like what you just said about nothing's better than Your head hitting your pillow. I do feel like it might be just like. I am so tired. I cannot wait to take a nap.

[D]

Yeah, that's like Ram Dass says, it's like death is like taking off a tight shoe. I'm like, oh my gosh.

[A]

Take off a tight shoe this afternoon. I'm just kidding. I'm not, I'm not.

[C]

That's why I like getting like a procedure. You get the propofol and you're like, I kind of died for a second.

[D]

That's what they say is a real thing. Like the anesthesia. Like when you go under general anesthesia, your body really believes it's experiencing death. And so there are like long term psychological effects. Effects that happen.

[A]

Like from. From having anesthesia.

[D]

Yeah, from going under general. Have you ever been under?

[A]

They can't get me under.

[D]

What are you, a redhead?

[B]

What do you mean they can't get you under?

[A]

They can't get my ass under. I am over like the whole time. I got my wisdom teeth out and they're like, gas him up. They were turning it up and I'm like crying, laughing. It was like, laugh. And then they're like, put them under. And I was like. And they just had to do it because they had a time slot. They had other people that needed their teeth done. I was up the whole time as they're pulling my wisdom teeth out. And they're like, here's one, here's two. Here's three, here's four. All right, go home.

[C]

Oh my God.

[B]

Did you feel it though?

[A]

What's weird about was the way that they took mine out. They had to. This is we can crack them and like they couldn't pull them out straight out. They're breaking them up. Like as they were pulling them out, so they were taking out pieces. One came out, amount full, they let me keep it. But the other ones, yeah, I think they were impacted or something.

[C]

I'm thinking about booking a colonoscopy just so I can take a little Nap.

[B]

Girl,

[C]

that 32nd and I can flush.

[B]

Yes.

[D]

I want to get that drink prep. The prep is a lot better now. Cuz now you can eat a light breakfast. Yes, you can. You can eat a light breakfast. Yeah. But they use the Michael Jackson drug, the propofol, so it's like a very fast acting anesthetic.

[B]

It feels so nice.

[C]

Really?

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

I don't know if you have a drug problem, but it rules.

[A]

Don't yet colonoscopy.

[D]

But that's interesting. If you do get a colonoscopy you have to tell them like, hey, it's really. I have this experience with previous anesthesia because you never want to be awake for it. And some people do really report like nightmare scenarios of like being awake during a colonoscopy awake, but they're not able to verbalize.

[C]

I think a colonoscopy I wouldn't mind being. I don't think that'd be the worst thing to be awake for. You know, I've.

[D]

I've had worse anal before we.

[B]

You're scaring everyone right now.

[D]

But this is a true thing. Like Bobby just got a colonoscopy and he's. He was addicted to opiates for a certain portion of his life. So he has to disclose that because his threshold hold might be higher for certain opiates.

[B]

So what did he get?

[D]

He got the propofol and it was fine. And he was like, oh, I'm gonna sing a song. I'm gonna sing the whole song. You're never gonna put me down. And he was out in the first, the second word of the song.

[B]

What did they find in his colon?

[D]

Nothing. This guy smoked for. He's a cockroach. He's a. He's a literal Greenland shark. He has not a single polyp, not a single anything.

[A]

How it goes.

[D]

And it pisses me off. Well, I'm happy for him. But also it's like I wanted to be like, you see that polyp? And now that, that whole thing.

[B]

I know I. Yeah.

[A]

My 96 year old grandma who went to the casino on Tuesday for her birthday.

[C]

Amazing.

[A]

Drank margaritas. She has. Her cocktail of choice is boxed Franzi of wine.

[B]

She's drank that for years.

[A]

And pre made Jose Cuerva margarita mix which is just like a 140 grams of sugar per glass. And she smoked cigarettes pack a day for years and years and years and years and years. Years stopped one day. But I'm like. And she's 100 healthy. She's beat cancer twice.

[C]

Oh God.

[A]

These are the lymphoma and breast.

[C]

Wow, that's so inspiring.

[D]

These are the Greenland sharks. They live up to 400 years if you let them. They are like lobsters. They're like. What do you call biologically immortal.

[A]

Yeah. I think that. Yeah. No natural predators.

[D]

Yeah. Not even Joseph.

[A]

No. Truly. Jose's sake safe.

[B]

My grandma probably would have lived that long if and for legal reasons. This is a parody. If my uncle didn't slowly kill her by starving her and not taking her to her appointments. Hahaha. This is a joke.

[C]

Allegedly.

[D]

Allegedly.

[B]

Everything is alleged.

[A]

No, but I think so much of it is, like. Especially with, like, the cancers. And I think it's all mental. Like, if you're. She's not stressed out about how much she's drinking or whatever, she's like, no, it's. I am a healthy person.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm active.

[B]

I do believe that you are tapping into my new personality. Thank you, Connor. Let me tell you right now, to

[C]

the kids at the Children's Hospital of

[D]

Los Angeles, before you get into this, I'd like to counter this point. I think that there are people. And I'm going to say Greenland shark again. I think there are people made for vices that are built like tanks. And then you have my niece and my niece who has just recently picked up smoking two days. Two.

[C]

Two.

[D]

Two cigarettes a day.

[B]

Two to three.

[D]

Landed. Landed in the ER for severe chest pain and possible, like, cardiac implications.

[B]

What?

[D]

And I said, listen, there are p. There are people in our family who are made for vices. You're not one of them. Your body cannot handle this.

[B]

Is she gonna stop now?

[D]

Yeah. How do you know it was two to three?

[B]

Because, of course, the first thing when I. She came to babysit, I'm like, how many a day? Oh, thank God. And she said, two to three. She's like, that's only two to three. I'm like. And then when I told Dave. Wait, this. Okay, sorry.

[D]

My niece Jules, she's.

[B]

Can we share this? Things that can be shared. Okay. So I told Dave, my husband, I was like, jules is smoking two to three cigarettes a day. And he laughed at me. He's like, two to three. He's like, that's not even a real smoker. He was being so defensive about it. He's bad.

[D]

As someone who's never smoked, I'm with you.

[C]

I'm like, yeah, two to three is, like, my goal. I'm like, one day, I'll only be down to two or three.

[B]

Wait. Okay, so new personality unlocked. Remember, we're circling back to the beginning of the episode when I said I was dming with a midwife. She said something to me that I am absolutely making my new mantra. Pleasure is medicine. And I'm not saying, like, do bad vices, but I do think if you're doing things that are pleasurable, they can be good for you. But I'm not applying. I'm not gonna, like, start doing drugs again. Like, I'm done with that. But I just. It's for me, I'm, like, wanting to lean into things that feel good. Instead of being like, life has to be rigid and I have to follow rules.

[C]

Like, so you guys don't mind if I, like, shove this banana at my.

[B]

No, that would be really long. That would be medicinal.

[D]

You just want to hit 90, that's all.

[B]

I feel like we've hit.

[A]

Go ahead and close it on that.

[B]

We've hit death, We've hit light. Like, we've hit everything today. I did not expect to go on this roller coaster.

[C]

When you come back, Connor.

[A]

I would love to. I would love to.

[D]

This was so nice.

[A]

This is. Is the farthest I've ever driven in my life. We're in Vegas. The only other time I've been where we are now is when an Uber driver took my phone and said I had to pick it up from his house. But I would gladly do it to come back if you'll have me. This is so fun. So easy. You guys are so good at this.

[B]

Oh, my gosh. You guys are so fun. Is everybody on tour? Are you on tour?

[A]

I have a couple shows coming up.

[B]

Anything to plug you guys, my love.

[A]

Oh, yeah. I also have a podcast if you guys, like, don't have anything going on after you listen to this one, Brooke and Connor make a podcast.

[B]

It's so funny.

[A]

It's fun. It's a fun one.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

And then I have some shows coming up. Fort Lauderdale is the 10th and 11th of June. Tampa is the 12th, and Orlando the 13th. And I'm filming a. A special.

[C]

Shut up.

[A]

It's a. We're calling it a spectacle instead of a special because I don't know how. How special it's going to be because it's going to be. It's going to be a spectacle. More so I would say so.

[B]

I can't wait.

[A]

It'll be. It'll be fun. We're going.

[C]

The spectacle is happening in Orlando.

[A]

It's going to. We're going to film it over three days in Orlando. Orlando, Tampa, and Fort Lauderdale.

[C]

Amazing thing.

[A]

I'm excited.

[C]

Well, are you gonna go to Disney World?

[A]

We are. We're gonna go to Disney World in Orlando, which is where Disney World is.

[B]

Ally, where are you?

[C]

I'm doing shows all over. Go to Ali McCorsy.com shows.

[B]

We have a Patreon.

[D]

We do have a Patreon.

[B]

We Love our patrons. Patreon.com Trash Tuesday podcast link below.

[D]

Catch ebb at Sephora.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Oh, catch a wave of ebb.

[A]

It smells so good.

[B]

Connor's favorite shampoo. And we'll see you next week with a brand new episode. Thanks, guys.