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Esther
I feel like I also would like to see Tony on the podcast someday, because I'd like to. I know.
Kalila
I'll stand back for that one. I'm gonna have you two.
Esther
You know, I just feel that, honestly, like, the only time in Tony's life where he knew discipline is like, when he was with me. And I feel like he needs it. Like, I feel like he needs the discipline for me. Are you nervous?
Kalila
A little bit. Are you?
Esther
No.
Kalila
It's because my armpits are sweating.
Esther
No, because it's just you and me.
Kalila
Creepy little bit. I swear. Yes. I was terrified. I couldn't even drive here. I had to take an Uber.
Esther
Is that true?
Kalila
Yeah. Because I had to think about. I'm like, oh, my God. I'm just up against Esther today. I'm up against Esther. This is a nightmare.
Esther
What's gonna happen? There's no guest. Save me. No guest to save us. Save you also. There's like such a realness in the room because we are not like host hosting someone.
Kalila
Yeah. I. I want to ask you how you feel about. There is like a freedom, right?
Esther
I'm just kidding.
Kalila
There's a freedom when it's just really like friends or, you know, just. You can just let your balls hang and.
Esther
Yeah.
Kalila
Be whatever.
Esther
Which we do get. When it is Jenna and Jules.
Kalila
Yeah, we let our balls hang.
Esther
Like, truly though, when there is a guest here, I do feel like, you know, you have to kind of put your bow tie on and be like a grown up.
Kalila
I always try to match. Like, if I know they're respectable people, you'll. You can see me attempt to dress better. Like, I will put on like a proper jacket. That's like in tiger belly when we have Bill Burr on, I always come like, you know, I brush my eyebrows up.
Esther
That's so funny.
Kalila
I'm like, this is a real adult, I think.
Esther
But it's a comedian, so it's like, who cares?
Kalila
I know. Truly.
Esther
Last night I did this event for this movie. Is this thing on? It's like a movie about stand up comedy starring Will Arnett. He was so hot in person. I had no idea. Like, I've never, like, this is someone I've seen in media for like 15 years. Just like standard white guy. Like, there's nothing. I don't know if he's someone people think of as, like, hunky. Like, I don't think so. Like, no disrespect, but then I feel like it's that thing when you see a celebrity in person and they hit you're just like what? Usually it's like the female celebrity. When you see her in person, you're like, that's what you look like a superstar.
Jenna
Yeah.
Esther
But it really, he really had that and I was just like, wow. This, this power of like a hot person with like that glamoury glow. That power is so undeniable and it will never go away.
Kalila
I think with Will Arnett, he looks very specific. Like there is, there aren't a lot of people that he looks like Will Arnett.
Esther
Do you know what I mean?
Kalila
Like he doesn't really fit into like
Esther
a prototype that's so real.
Kalila
He has his own prototype.
Esther
Like when I say that are you like, what are you talking about? You do?
Jenna
Yeah.
Esther
Cuz I would never have gotten this.
Kalila
Oh, there are other people find so ugly. And I'm like, that is the shiniest person I've ever met. And it's. I can't even explain it. They just exude hotness. Who? I mean, not Will Arnett. I can see he's actually attractive on television too.
Esther
When I see these pictures on Google Image, I'm like, what am I looking at? Like, no.
Kalila
But then you see he's actually tall. He's tall, right?
Esther
He seemed mid height. Like not huge. Not sure.
Kalila
Okay.
Esther
I feel so disrespectful. If I really speak on how I feel about these photos. It's like, no, like classic white guy. No, it's okay.
Kalila
It's okay to, you know, say that a white guy is attractive.
Esther
No, like, I'm just saying like he doesn't look good in these photos.
Kalila
Oh yeah, yeah.
Esther
And then compared to how he looks in person and I'm like, oh, this
Kalila
is exactly the same about like when you say I only look hot when I stand up. I have like ugly sit down face. I'm just ugly when I sit down and I'm hot when I stand up. But it's true. No, I get it. I think you're.
Jenna
You're right.
Esther
I think it's just like only see you seated. So then when I see you elevated, I'm like, oh, next level.
Kalila
I want to ask you a question about your communication style with your mom. I'm. What I imagine is your mom is someone who just cuts to what she needs to say. She doesn't try to like mince her words. She's very economical about just her words in general.
Esther
Yeah.
Kalila
Like what she says is what she means.
Esther
Yeah. Your skin looks bad. You need to see a dermatologist, period.
Kalila
Yeah. My mom talks in limericks. My whole life I've. I thought this was a normal thing with, like, parents and kids, but I swear to God, everything she says I have to decode. Perfect example, the other day, because she's, like, hardcore into, like, pop culture and stuff, right? And she's like, oh, do you know that Danny DeVito and Ria Pearlman have a daughter that's an actress? And I said, I didn't know that. And then she says, she's in a mo. She's in a movie with Voldemort.
Esther
What is this?
Kalila
And. And I said, in. In my head, I didn't even. It didn't go. I didn't say Voldemort. In my head, I'm like, oh, it's probably some Harry Potter like, offshoot thing. Like, that's.
Esther
Yeah.
Kalila
In my head, like a spin off or whatever, right? And she goes, yeah, it's on Netflix right now. It's a Christmas movie. And I was like, oh, my God, how is it, like, you know, magic and Christmas with my mom when she says these things? I. Then my brain goes into decision flowchart. It's like, what does meritas mean? And it goes into. It starts to compute, compute, compute. And then I start to, you know, I need more context. I was like, ma. Voldemort. I'm like, that doesn't make. And she goes, no, the. The short, funny Mexican guy. What? Okay, exactly. Everyone's lost, right? This is how Merita speaks. She speaks to me in limericks.
Esther
Why?
Kalila
And she goes, I was like, she's acting in a Christmas movie with Voldemort, the short, funny Mexican guy. From that. What do you deduce.
Producer/Assistant
I thought you were talking about Ralph Fiennes.
Esther
At first, like, okay, no, but because
Kalila
I have played the meritas.
Esther
Yeah.
Kalila
Limerick game for so long, I was like, short, funny Mexican guy. And then the next thing, she says, yeah, she was the girlfriend of Lindsay Lohan. Now, to speak Merites, you have to understand that she doesn't have gender signifiers in her language. In Visaya, there's no, like, man. So girlfriend could mean boyfriend. Boyfriend could mean girlfriends. Yes, yes. So good.
Esther
But where does that land us? What?
Kalila
Wilmer Valderrama is acting in a Christmas movie with Danny DeVito's daughter. That's what she wanted to say.
Esther
Why did she want to say this to you?
Kalila
We saw Rhea Pearlman at the Beechwood Cafe once upon a time, and she was starstruck. Really? And she was like, oh, my God, we're sat right next to her, and she was really nice to Us. So she wanted to talk about how her daughter is now in a Christmas movie with Voldemort. That's like, you don't have those conversations with your mom. And I think this is why. Honestly, I think this is all my trauma is, like, having to decipher what the hell she's saying, because I feel
Esther
like that's both, like, foreign mom, but also just, like, parent who can't describe celebrities, and they always get it wrong. And you have to, like. Like, that is a common thing.
Kalila
When I see her speak to other people, she explains things perfectly, like, in full sentences. When she talks to my sister and I, she gets so lazy. She shorthands everything, and she doesn't want to tell you more. She's just like, they'll get it at some point.
Esther
Today, my mom is the opposite. She's like, so then Lucy from work, like, she just, like, tells the longest stories, and me and my dad are like, we don't know these people.
Kalila
What?
Esther
Get to the point. Like, she just. She talks, speaks in these long monologues.
Kalila
Like, Jenna.
Esther
Yeah.
Kalila
Yes.
Jenna
Yes.
Esther
But I feel like Jenna doesn't assume we know everyone. She's. Does she? I don't.
Jenna
She.
Kalila
Jenna is master backstory.
Esther
Yeah, she is.
Kalila
Like, I was like, I don't need the backstory. I just need the front story.
Esther
Sometimes, though, from Jenna, I really am sat and ready for, like, the full backstory. Like, when she gives me, like, a good monologue voice note about her day, I'm like, oh, this is. I've been waiting for this. So one time last Christmas, we flew. Jen and I flew home together. It was our first Christmas, like, with Ace, and Dave was meeting us later, and we get off the plane, and you know how, like, if you. You gate check a stroller when you travel with a baby? We're standing there. They're bringing everybody's stroller out. They're like, that's all the strollers. I'm like, no, it's not. Where's mine? They're like, we'll check again. They keep coming back. They're like, that's all the strollers. And, like, 30 minutes go by. They're like, oh, we finally found it. It was in the whatever. And I'm like, by that point, I had traveled with Ace probably, like, literally four times. So I just knew how smoothly this process went. And I'm like, what the. Like, that was so stressful because you're like, if you're there, you don't have your car seat stroller. You're like, I Don't know how I'm getting my baby home. I don't have a car seat. I'm stranded at Midway Airport. Jenna's mom came to pick us up, and we told her, and she goes, oh, I know why that happened. And we're like, why? She's like, because you're with Jenna. And I'm like, what? Like, really? And then, like, as this whole year has progressed, she's right. Like, whenever you're with Jenna, something goes wrong. And that's why Jenna's so entertaining, is because she lives her life, and, like, every day, something really does go wrong. And it's, like, amazing. It's in the way she reacts. It's, like, so funny.
Kalila
Wait, there's like, a babadook on her then?
Esther
Yeah. I don't understand.
Kalila
Oh, my God. Speaking. Speaking of babadooks, have you seen the movie? I haven't seen it in a long time, but it's something that, like, it's attached. Something that attaches to you, right? Tell me if this is just my postpartum OCD talking or if this is something you would actually consider happening. So there is a very specific dog groomer that I found for my senior dog, Remy, and they specifically do senior dogs. They're very gentle. They're very, you know, Remy's blind and deaf and needs a lot of just tlc. Like, not that. Like, fast heat, blow drying, whatever.
Esther
How old is remy now?
Jenna
He's 15.
Esther
Oh, wow.
Kalila
The first time that we brought this groomer on, I had to take my son to the ER because he had bloody spit up from my cracked nipple. And then the next. The very, very next day, the fires happened.
Esther
Oh, my God.
Kalila
These three things. The next time I book her, my son gets sick. And then another thing happens. Like, and now I'm thinking, does she have a babadook on her? Is it her that's causing these cascade of events? So I'm like, don't be this way. You're in therapy. You know better than to, like, attach, meaning to, like, this is your ocd. And then guess what? Last weekend, I booked her again. And that very same day, Aloha got into an accident.
Esther
What? Okay, I don't know what to say to this, because, like, I want to honor your ocd.
Kalila
Is she a Jenna? I got to talk to our therapist about this.
Esther
Are you going to stop booking her? Yeah, I think that's reasonable.
Kalila
Thank you. Oh, my God, thank you. I was hoping you would say that, but I think she's so great and wonderful.
Esther
That sucks.
Kalila
And I just. I'm like, it's not you. It's the Babadook.
Esther
I do really wonder what our amazing therapist would say to this.
Kalila
I see her on Thursday, so I will update you on what she says.
Esther
It's like, I do feel like once you get something in your head, it's really hard to shake it and that it's not worth it.
Kalila
Yeah.
Esther
Even though I don't believe in that stuff. Like, it's just not worth it to me to do it and then be, like, waiting for the other shoe to drop. So I wouldn't. I'd both not believe and still be a little scared and avoid.
Kalila
Yeah.
Esther
So there's, like, two different kinds of light switches. There's like, the little nub that's sticking out, and you go, like, up or down. Right. And then there's like, the one that is, like, flat. And you go, like, press it like that. Whatever. Someone was trying to tell me that one is better than the other. Like, they have a preference. And I'm like, there's no way you have a preference for what light switch. They're the same. It's. You just go like this or like this. Like, how can you give a. And I'm so specific and detailed in my life. Like, I'm so picky. That is one thing where I'm like, there's no way that you can have a preference to which one is better.
Kalila
Do they have a preference for one is just, like, an older look, and the other one is a more modern.
Esther
Is that. Is that coming up for you?
Kalila
I can understand it in the same way someone would have, like, a preference for, like, a fabric on their body. Because I'm very, very sensitive.
Esther
So different. That's. You're feeling it all over your body, like, all day.
Kalila
Senso.
Esther
For one second, like, yeah, I. I kind of.
Kalila
I'm on their side.
Esther
Then what do you prefer?
Kalila
You don't know this, but I've been electrocuted at least, like, 50 times in my life.
Esther
What the. I can't keep up.
Kalila
I think a lot of the buildings that I grew up with in the Philippines are, like, the houses. Like, they were not up to code, and so the electrical would, like, I don't know what, but I've been zapped a lot. I really think I attribute some of it to why, like, my brain is a little bit off. It's not just my mom beatings. It's electrocution. And the up down is a little bit scary for me because I'm like, is this an older Place. Am I gonna get that somehow this seems safer and less expensive.
Esther
Are you zapped by an up down switch?
Kalila
I've been. Yes. Oh, my God. The last time I was in the Philippines, I was in a gas station bathroom, and it was a up down, and I got zapped so hard, like, my teeth were like, they're chattering back to the car. But then I had been zapped so many times before that, so I'm like, oh, this is nothing. You know, I just need to sit down and drink some water, have a banana. Because if I told anyone in my family, like, okay, boohoo. Like, we all get zapped. Okay.
Esther
Does anyone on the crew have a light switch preference? Up or down or press?
Producer/Assistant
Probably the. The flat one.
Esther
Yeah.
Producer/Assistant
But we were just thinking about. What about the third? What about the.
Esther
Oh, the dial? The dial is maybe best when you have the up or down or the flat and you have a dimmer, then it's like a little, like, side dimmer. But if you have the dial, like a dj.
Kalila
Yeah.
Esther
You have so much control and power.
Kalila
Also, I have beef with just lighting in general.
Esther
What's your.
Kalila
It's like every gym I go to has fluorescent lighting.
Esther
Oh, yeah.
Jenna
Duh. Why.
Kalila
But why? That's not. It's not. It doesn't make me look prettier or make me want to go to the gym more. It makes me look ugly. I don't see my muscles. Well, if I were a gym owner, I would do the lighting so that everyone looks like they're making gains all day, but they're just like, whoa. Like, I. This is really happening for me. In the same way that Abercrombie does their lighting well in their changing rooms.
Esther
Oh, it's all.
Kalila
And they.
Jenna
They.
Kalila
They skew their mirrors.
Esther
Yeah.
Kalila
And it's like, why can't they do that for gyms? That's what I would do.
Esther
I think I've transitioned to the point in my life where I don't. I'm not mad at that.
Kalila
Like, ugly lighting. Like, no, no.
Esther
It, like scammy mirrors. I'm like, if you're going to scam me, that makes me think that this outfit looks better on me than it does. Like, I'm down.
Kalila
Me too. Because you're going to override my dysmorphia, and I need that.
Esther
Yeah. And I'm going to feel better in the outfit than I would have. And, like, when you feel better, you act better. You're more confident.
Kalila
Then you would have to have skin skewed mirrors at home because that's my problem. I get home, I put on the same thing, and I'm like, what happened? Why did it not look?
Esther
You know what I'm really doing? I am not looking in the mirror anymore. Like, I'm in that phase of pregnancy and just, you know, the whole body. We won't name names, but, like, all the areas of the body. I'm like, oh, no. I actively am. Just like, if I walk past a mirror naked, like, nope, not looking, not taking it in. I don't need to know. There's. It's none of my business. Like, sure, maybe when I'm, like, six months postpartum, I can start, like, investigating, but for right now, I don't want to see this. And when I do see it, it really freaks me out.
Kalila
My changes to my body were so comedic. Comedic that I was, like, in shock that I couldn't stop looking. Oh. Like, I couldn't throw up. I would sit there, and I'm like, no way. This is what's happening to my nipples. Like, there's just no way.
Esther
Okay, so people really are like, oh, you have a vaginal birth. Like, your shit's all up. It's like, no, actually, there's no changes down there. I mean, right after.
Jenna
Right?
Esther
It's like, don't look.
Kalila
But don't look. Don't look.
Esther
Don't look for a while. And then it's, like, completely fine.
Kalila
It's completely fine.
Esther
But it's just the titties.
Kalila
The titties change.
Esther
Like, I'm not comfortable with the changes, and I really wish that I would have, like, done Playboy, like, before this all went down.
Kalila
I didn't have Playboy titties before pregnancy, so I certainly don't have, you know, regrets about not doing Playboy. But you. Yes, you. I would have been like, you should have taken more photos.
Esther
Certain things should have been documented, and, like, they'll just be gone forever. They'll just be a memory between my exes and my husband and me. It's truly so. It's just so sad.
Kalila
After I. I gave birth, I like you. I'm like, I'm gonna wait to look down there. This is not. I could feel what it looked like.
Esther
Yeah.
Kalila
I'm, like, based on feeling. I kind of already. I already have a picture in my head of what it could possibly look like.
Esther
So.
Kalila
No, thank you. You know, I. I did what I had to do. I took really good care of her. Waited a long time to look. But then I started, like, you know, doing my daily washings after healing and I'm like, she feels different. I have to be careful when I talk to you about these things because you're. It's okay. Sensitive.
Esther
I'm only. Only when Jenna does it. You're safe.
Kalila
I don't have a lot of, like, overhang typically.
Jenna
Right.
Kalila
But I had some on one side.
Esther
Okay.
Kalila
Post birth, I have zero.
Esther
Wait, what? You got, like, a makeover, and this isn't.
Jenna
I.
Kalila
You know, there's such a thing as, like, a husband stitch, which is, like, such a disgusting thing where, like, guys are like, oh, why don't you throw an extra stitch in there, doc? And it's like, shut the up. I will kill you right now.
Esther
Yeah. That seems also, like, fake news.
Kalila
Yeah, it's fake news.
Esther
But no, you know, shout out to
Kalila
my doctor at Cedars. Whatever he did to put my area back together, he did it in a way that was, I think, very, like, cosmetic. I don't know what or how he is.
Esther
Why do I. The way you said my area back together, I picture he's like, got a tray and all the pieces are, like, out. And he's like, hm, how can I. He's, like, puzzling them back.
Kalila
I think it needed puzzling back. I think.
Esther
But you didn't, like, tear.
Kalila
I had second degree only.
Jenna
Okay.
Esther
I did, too.
Kalila
That's. Which I think, thank God, because once you go deeper into the muscle, it starts to become a problem. So I only had a second degree tear for a very, very big baby, which is amazing. Amazing.
Esther
Yeah. I had a second degree tear and I gave birth to an M and M. So world smallest baby. And still. But I. I think your doctor did a better job of, like, having you maybe go slow.
Kalila
Yeah.
Esther
Whereas I went, like, full speed ahead.
Kalila
No, he told me to, like, chill out. Chill out.
Esther
Yeah.
Kalila
Stop, stop, stop. And then different breathing out the baby patterns.
Esther
I think we were in a rush maybe, because whatever, like, infection concern. There's concerns. Right. Whereas, like, we needed to get her out and thankfully, like, it went really fast. But what I was gonna say is, like, I do feel that there is this, like. I don't want to say anti feminist because I'm like, have a complicated relationship with the word feminist. It's like kind of anti woman, where people will really just, like, be like, oh, if you've had a vaginal birth, like, ew. Like, it's all messed up and can't imagine that after, you know, this many kids. Whatever. And I'm like, it's kind of weird because there's no PR that's, like, that's not true. Right? You only hear that, like, it up.
Kalila
Yeah.
Esther
After I had a vaginal birth and things were not up, I was like, wait, am I a modern miracle? Like, am I the perfect woman? No, it just, like, that's a fake thing.
Kalila
It is a fake thing.
Esther
I just am annoyed and irritated at that concept that it feels like a way to. Just another way to be. Like, mothers are gross or like, so
Kalila
mean and so unnecessary.
Esther
And look, it's like crazy. Even with tears. Sorry, I know that's very uncomfortable for everyone to hear, especially including me. Even when you tear, there's no problems later.
Kalila
It just eventually heals.
Esther
And I also don't. I understand that some people do have problems later. So I don't want to be like, everything's perfect for everyone.
Kalila
Yeah. The one part that I will say, though, just the umbrella of, like, you can have sex after six weeks. After six weeks? Hell no.
Esther
No.
Kalila
After six months even I was like, no, thank you. I didn't feel, like, healed. I didn't feel like that's. That's such a arbitrary number thrown out there. And it's like, how can you assign like an estimated heal time to so many different kinds of bodies? Like that is. And so many different kinds of, like, births. Like, some don't tear, some have fourth degree, third degree tears.
Esther
Like six weeks.
Kalila
And now that's another thing that needs pr, is that men think that, well, you know, she worked out after six weeks or she's down to have sex after three weeks. That. Why aren't you. I hate that.
Esther
Six weeks.
Kalila
I was a mess. I was so. Still very much in the throes of healing.
Esther
Yeah, that's absolutely correct. It's like, just because things do eventually go back, it's like you need time.
Jenna
Yeah.
Esther
You need time.
Kalila
For the women out there, I think that we should change that to six months. The expectation isn't like, oh, she's back in shape.
Esther
Yeah. Sure is disturbing to me.
Producer/Assistant
I think the dudes wrote that one in in journal for sure.
Esther
You're right.
Kalila
What's the smallest amount of time that's acceptable?
Esther
You don't want to gross.
Kalila
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Kalila
Okay, real talk, I'm a new mom,
Jenna
which means sleep is already unpredictable. So if I'm only getting four hours of solid sleep, it has to count. Which is why I only sleep on a Helix. Helix is the most awarded mattress brand tested and reviewed by experts like Forbes and Wired. It's so easy. You take their little quiz and they match you with a mattress made specifically for your sleeping style. For example, I run hot when I sleep. I am also a side sleeper. So I got matched with a midnight mattress have the option to upgrade to a plusher version. So I got the luxe version of that midnight mattress. The Happy with Helix guarantee offers a risk free customer first experience designed to ensure you're completely satisfied with your new mattress. 120 night sleep trial and limited lifetime warranty. Go to helixsleep.comtrashtuesday for 27% off site wide. This is exclusive for listeners of trash Tuesday. That's helixsleep.com trashtuesday for 27% off sitewide. Make sure you enter our show name after checkout so they know we sent you helix sleep.com Trash Tuesday.
Producer/Assistant
Unfortunately, we have no bananas today for the banana.
Kalila
Oh my God. I was going to say can I have my banana early? I'm so hungry.
Producer/Assistant
But we do have some questions from the sluggies.
Kalila
You know, this is why I think I'm a witch. Why I know everyone's like, I have psychic powers. Yes. Because on my Uber ride over here, I took an Uber because Aloha needed to do a job thing and his car, he got into an accident. He can't use his car. The airbags deployed. So they totaled it, right?
Esther
They totaled his car.
Kalila
You. When you. The airbag deploys, I think you're. You considered a total, even though the car is probably very fixable, and then
Esther
you have to get a new car.
Kalila
Yeah, I think so. So anyways, and he has a big, massive truck, so this is why I think I'm a witch. On my way over here, I was like, oh, my God. I didn't bring my water. I have a massive headache, and I didn't have breakfast because he had to go somewhere, and he didn't cook me breakfast. So I was like, I bet you I'm so lucky today that they forgot the bananas. Stop. I thought about that, like, two blocks from here, and I was like, no, don't wish that on yourself, Kalila. And guess what happened.
Producer/Assistant
You forgot the banana.
Kalila
No bananas.
Esther
Do you think your migraine is from, like, not eating?
Kalila
It's probably just my period. Okay. But if I start to glitch out, does anyone have, like, a Cheeto?
Producer/Assistant
Oh, yeah, we got Cheetos.
Esther
Do you have a Cheeto or just
Kalila
chips and stuff like that?
Esther
That's a good idea.
Kalila
Yeah.
Esther
God, I'm so. It's like, pregnancy is so taken over. Like, when you said you had no water, I'm just like. Like, I. The thought of no water right now is like death.
Kalila
Are you kidding me? I am dying from. No. That's the. All the mistakes I made this morning. I'm like, this is so stupid. I never leave the house without water because I'm breastfeeding. You are, like, thirsty beyond thirsty all the time. So I'm like, what the was I thinking this morning? Oh, yay.
Jenna
Thank you.
Esther
Wow.
Producer/Assistant
Cheeto break.
Kalila
I would offer you some, but I've never had Cheetos. I never had hot Cheetos.
Esther
I've never had any Cheetos, and I don't want to try them.
Jenna
Why?
Kalila
What happened there?
Esther
I don't know. When I was little, they always looked gross to me.
Kalila
Even the hot Cheetos.
Esther
Of course, I don't like spicy.
Kalila
Oh, yeah. You are that little white girl.
Esther
The little white girl of your nightmares.
Kalila
White girl who doesn't like flavor.
Esther
I had a lot of salt, but
Kalila
I also think that's such an l. A girl thing to, like, fear salt.
Esther
Yeah, I don't. I've never feared salt. I just used to not love salty food, and now I really, really do.
Kalila
But you know what I mean, right? Like, a lot of, like, oh, yeah,
Esther
it's gonna blow you.
Kalila
It's gonna blow you. It's like, guys, it's an electrolyte. Like, you do need it to, like, properly function. You can't just avoid salts.
Jenna
Yeah.
Esther
I've never really experienced the salt blow. And I do wonder about that. Is it some people that they're just really sensitive or are they just, like, delusional and they're making it up for attention?
Kalila
Listen, if you already have hypertension, high blood pressure, and some, like, other issues, yeah, you do need to be careful with your salt. But for the most part, it's like you need it.
Jenna
It's.
Kalila
There's a reason why it's part of our diet. And if you are living very unhealthily, like, and you have an excess in salt.
Esther
Yeah.
Kalila
You'll, you know, retain more water because, you know, that's what salt does. But, you know, maybe they'll give you a little bit of volume in your face. Yeah.
Esther
A little puff.
Kalila
That's so bad.
Esther
What's bad about puffy?
Kalila
Let's bring back the puff. In the age of Ozempic, be puffy.
Esther
It's so cute.
Producer/Assistant
Got some questions from the Patreon and from the Instagram from some sluggies.
Esther
Are you guys stoked that you've been almost a podcast for almost five years? Is that true? Oh, really? Is that true? Whoa. That's a long time.
Kalila
It is.
Esther
That's, like, impressive.
Kalila
That's an impressive for any relationship.
Esther
That's, like, so impressive for any business. Like, businesses go out of business. Podcasts do like 10 episodes and they quit.
Kalila
I love it when I see that happen. I secretly do. Just because it's like, you thought it was easy.
Esther
I know people thinking podcasting is, like, just so simple.
Jenna
Sick.
Kalila
Well, that's all you do. You don't have a real job. I'm like, you do it, you start one. I mean, how it goes.
Esther
What about the trend, though, of, like, super famous people starting podcasts and then those just disappearing?
Kalila
Major flop.
Esther
Yeah. Being really famous is nothing to do with podcasts being good.
Kalila
No, not at all. Unless you're like a Michelle Obama kind
Esther
of famous or Amy Poehler's podcast is
Kalila
pretty good, but because she's good, right? Like, she knows how to do it, right?
Esther
Yeah.
Kalila
But, yeah, I do find I do get a little bit of a sick joy when I see famous people think that. Oh, yeah, that's. That's a new thing I haven't done yet.
Jenna
Let's try that.
Kalila
And then it's like, you should get
Esther
sick joy out of it because you were like, literally just a random person that had A podcast and became a huge success.
Kalila
Bobby is probably 95 of the reason why it was a huge success. I still.
Esther
I don't know. I mean, yes, of course he's like, so funny and brilliant, but you guys together is like that. I'll never forget the first time I did Tiger Bell. I was like, what is this? Like, these two are hilarious. Like, the way you treated him and talked to him, like, and called him out. I'm like, oh, my God, this is not just another podcast of a comedian. Like, this is something.
Producer/Assistant
And that came from tallest Gucci mane on Earth. Just wanted to give him a shout.
Kalila
5 years. Thanks for the reminder. That's so cool. Congrats to us.
Esther
I know. That is crazy.
Jenna
Two babies.
Esther
There's been a lot of changes. You know what? That's how we keep it fresh is that it's always changing. So it just always feels new.
Kalila
Yeah, a lot of weird too, you know, but I feel like it's like, you know, that's like, you can. Any job, it's gonna. There's always weird and weird people and nasty, nasty ones as well. Dude, I have someone very close to me right now. Like, very, very close to me who's going through. Who works for the city, by the way, and who's worked in the medical field and who. Do you know what FMLA is?
Esther
No.
Kalila
Family medical. Was it f Family Medical, like leave of absence or whatever? She is on fmla, so she doesn't go to work Tuesdays and Thursdays, which is because she has a medical condition. She has a very severe autoimmune condition that leads to, like, neurological tics. Like, just very bad stuff. She also recently lost her house in the Altadena fire.
Esther
Oh, my gosh.
Kalila
A lot of things this year, right? And this boss, mind you, she's worked for the city for 15 years. This. Her boss has been denying her every single request, days up, any days requested off. And you know what the boss said? Well, you're already are on fmla. You're already on, like, a medical, like, leave twice a week. So, like, I wait. Basically, her boss weighs that in to why she gets denied days off. By the way, she also is entitled to, like, wildfire days. This girl is. Has such extreme neurological tics. Like, she is like a Parkinsonian patient.
Esther
Oh, my God.
Kalila
There are just horrible people out there. And you know what this boss said? Well, I'm having twins and I'm moving to a new house, and I don't miss days. And it's like, why is this about
Esther
you do not even go there with comparing. That is crazy. Crazy.
Kalila
I would, in my most pregnant, most uncomfortable state, I would never tell someone who is having a very severe, like, medical condition that, oh, but look at me. Look how good I'm doing. I don't miss days off.
Esther
That's the thing about pregnancy. It's like, I will complain up and down, left and right, all day and night, but I also am extremely aware that this is a temporary and it's a blessing.
Kalila
Yeah.
Esther
Like, I am lucky to be suffering like this. And to compare that to someone that actually is dealing with, like. I mean, I'm not trying to downplay the suffering. It sucks. But that's. You can't compare this.
Kalila
You cannot compare it to some. Someone who is chronically ill. Yeah, dude. And this person works for the city of Los Angeles, so the city of Los Angeles can do that to you. How weird do you think podcasts can get? It can get pretty weird here too. But I'm so glad that we've stuck it out and you and I are. We're good.
Esther
I know. We're so mature. It's weird.
Kalila
Yeah. I'm like, threatened by how close we've gotten.
Esther
I know you are.
Kalila
I need to back up.
Esther
I know you hate it so much. That's why I just try to, like, give you your space when I. When I can.
Jenna
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Kalila
Okay, real talk, I'm a new mom,
Jenna
which means sleep is already unpredictable. So if I'm only getting four hours of solid sleep, it has to count. Which is why I only sleep on a Helix. Helix is the most awarded mattress brand tested and reviewed by experts like Forbes and Wired. It's so easy. You take their little quiz and they match you with a mattress made specifically for your sleeping style. For example, I run hot when I sleep. I am also a side sleeper, so I got matched with a midnight mattress and then you have the option to upgrade to a plusher version. So I got the luxe version of that midnight mattress. The Happy with Helix Guarantee offers a risk free customer first experience designed to ensure you're completely satisfied with your new mattress. 120 nights sleep trial and limited lifetime warranty. Go to helixsleep.comtrashtuesday for 27% off site wide. This is exclusive for listeners of trash Tuesday. That's helixsleep.com trashtuesday for 27% off site wide. Make sure you enter our show name after checkout so they know we sent you helixsleep.com trashtuesday this episode is brought to you by IQ Bar. Our exclusive snack hydration and coffee sponsor, IQ Bar Protein Bars, IQ Mix Hydration Mixes and IQ Joe Mushroom Coffees are the delicious low sugar, brain and body fuel you need to win your day. I'm a working mom, so I'm always on the go and sometimes I'm just not able to give my body the nutrition it needs. I don't have the time to sit and have a three course meal. So this is where IQ comes in clutch for me. All IQ products are clean, label, certified and entirely free from gluten, dairy, soy, GMOs and artificial ingredients. All IQ Bar products are packed with clean, delicious ingredients that keep you physically mentally fit like magnesium, lion's mane and more. Be like me and Esther, start carrying IQ Bars. Plant protein bars in your bag. They're the smarter snack choice with plenty of plant protein, tons of fiber and no added sugar. And right now, IQ Bar is offering our special podcast listeners 20 off all IQ Bar products, including the Ultimate Sampler Pack plus free shipping. To get your 20 off, text Trash to 64, 000. Trash to 64,000. That's Trash to 64,000. Message and data rates may apply. See Terms for details.
Kalila
Oh, I like this question.
Esther
Did Esther ever have a wedding? She casually mentioned it recently. I think I did. So I actually got married on Ace's six month birthday, which was two days after you gave birth.
Kalila
It was really sweet. I'm crying because like I remember it being very a special time for me and you.
Esther
Yeah, I remember FaceTiming you on that day and you're like, like you're like, I just gave birth and I'm disabled,
Kalila
but I'm so happy.
Esther
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I will just never forget that image, like standing in my wedding dress, like looking at your face.
Kalila
She was on in her wedding dress on the bed and I was completely disabled. I had just brought my baby home that day and I was crying with my paralysis face because I was so overjoyed. I was telling her. I was like, I can't believe how in love I am.
Esther
Yeah.
Kalila
And then she was just about to get married.
Esther
We eloped. I guess you could call it that. Like, we drove to Santa Barbara courthouse, just me and Dave. Originally we thought we were going to bring Ace and Donut, but it just was going to be too much. So we drove that day two and a half hours when we were so nervous and we were like a walk in. We couldn't get an appointment and got married there. Drove back, we were both so tired. We took naps, woke up and Then did like a little photo shoot in the backyard with Ace and Donut. And Ace wore like a little blue dress. She was our something blue. And Donut wore a wedding dress.
Kalila
And Jenna took photos.
Esther
Jenna took photos. And we had sugarfish, and it was really nice. I mean, the only thing I will say is that I was peak postpartum anxiety, not in a good place and dealing with like some, you know, postpartum complications. But it's just I had. Was so when we had Ace, I was just so happy, so in love. I'm like, we have to get married. I want to do it in a way that, like, honors our love and Ace. So we. I want to do it on her six month birthday. So I hadn't planned anything except that was the day.
Kalila
Yeah.
Esther
So when that day came around, it's like, ready or not, we're doing it. Like, that was the thing I decided, which I'm glad we did it because if we had it, we like, just would have kept putting it off. But when I do look back at the photos, I'm like. Like, my dress did not even fit me. Like, it was like hanging in weird places. Like, you know, it's like a messy day. But it was really, like perfect also and lovely.
Kalila
I think that's probably why it was perfect, is because you did not overthink it.
Esther
Yeah.
Kalila
The moment was very much you and Dave.
Esther
Yeah.
Kalila
I love that because I've been to weddings where you can tell that both the bride and groom have completely dissociated because it's such a over stimulating thing to be around that many people, to be just the. The thing that everyone focuses on. I loved your pictures.
Esther
Thank you.
Kalila
They were so cute. And I like that you exchanged vows privately and Jenna wasn't even allowed to hear them.
Esther
Yeah, we just had private vows and. Oh, my God, so much crying. And Dave's vows, like, they were just so incredible. It was really. Again, it was like butterflies. Nervous, special. But that's so cool because it's you
Kalila
and for you only. Like, those vows aren't a presentation to the audience. Like, it was just you and him, you know, and you guys were so locked in and. Yeah, it's. It's very emotional to think about, and I think that's so special.
Esther
Yeah, it was really nice. It was. I'm glad we did that and made that memory. And I would like to, when I'm in a better state of mind and, you know, maybe do something else, like renewal or something, and maybe even have people there. Like, I think it's like, so cute and beautiful that it's gotten me a little bit more, like, inspired about doing more or something, you know? I don't know. Do you have wedding aspirations?
Kalila
I do. I do. I just feel a little bit like I can't access that part of my brain because it's being blocked by my fatigue and just general, like, difficulty in, you know, new motherhood.
Esther
Yeah.
Kalila
And I wish that I had eased into motherhood more gracefully. And I feel like maybe I haven't. I had delusions that I thought I would snap back in a month.
Esther
Oh, yeah, me too.
Jenna
Yeah.
Kalila
I'm like, oh, this will be. I'm an athlete. I'm a Division 1 athlete. Like, I've done hard shit before, and. And it just. That. That wasn't my journey. I didn't anticipate, you know, having my face paralyzed. I didn't anticipate the postpartum anxiety at that level that it happened for me. And I tell aloha this all the time. It's like, I promise you I will feel romantic again. Like, I just feel like a robot. I feel like a robot that just is, like, making sure everything is getting done.
Esther
Yeah.
Kalila
Not with my baby, though. When my baby. I'm like, oh, I love you. Want to get married. So I'm like, all my love and tenderness is towards him.
Esther
Yeah.
Kalila
And thank God I have a healthy partner. And I'm like, you know, we will. We will have our chance to reconnect and fall in love again. I'm just not in that mode.
Jenna
Right.
Esther
I. I relate to that right now, too. Like, I really just. I can't be touched. I can't, like, smell a human.
Kalila
Like, smelling is huge.
Esther
I'm just so. I'm like. Like, there's a person in me. Like, I'm good. Like, stay back. And I feel really bad about that, but it's just. It's just the way it is.
Jenna
Yeah.
Kalila
It's really hard to stand back. If you see a pregnant lady, just give her her. Do not give her her fresh air. Don't bring in your.
Esther
It's anything so awkward, too. Like, when you go places and people, like, you see people, you know, and they want to hug you.
Kalila
How bad?
Esther
I, like. Like, sometimes I do and sometimes I don't, but how bad? Every time I want to be, like, please don't touch me. Yeah, just please don't. I don't want to. I don't. No, please don't touch me. I'm so overly touched. There's a.
Kalila
You're being touched from the inside.
Jenna
Oh.
Esther
Like, I don't want my skin. I don't want to remember that I have skin. Like, by you touching it, it's just awful. Okay, who are your top three dream guests on the show? Choose three delusional ones and three comedians.
Kalila
Oh, three comedians. Gross.
Esther
I would love to have Theo Vaughan on.
Kalila
Ah, interesting.
Esther
Because I'd be curious, like, to see you guys reconnect.
Kalila
That is the weirdest thing to say. Why you can't stop thinking about me and Bobby, and you have this, like, boner for me and Theo.
Esther
I just think it's cute the way he feels about you.
Kalila
He's not going to feel the same way about me now that I'm a mama.
Esther
You have no idea. You have no idea what that does for people. I feel like I also would like to see Tony on the podcast someday, because I'd like to. I know.
Kalila
I'll stand back for that one. I'm gonna have you two.
Esther
You know, I would just. I do think it would be funny, because it would just be interesting.
Kalila
It's so funny. How do you ever come across, like, even people you don't know, people you haven't necessarily, like, interacted with, but you're like, I. I'm so sure that on, like, a visceral level, we. Our codes aren't gonna match.
Esther
Oh, yeah.
Kalila
That's how I feel about Tony Hinch.
Esther
Yeah, that makes sense.
Kalila
And it's not even because of his politics, his comedy. It has nothing to do. It has everything to do with. It's just something in my body, like, lights up in a way that's like, I don't think. I don't think we're gonna get along.
Esther
I have that with so many people, too, actually. I totally relate to that.
Kalila
But it could be false. Like, I. It could be some, like, preconceived, like, whatever it is in my head, and it's probably untrue, I'm sure, like, he's a nice guy. I just have the, like, a no, thank you.
Esther
I just feel that, honestly, like, the only time in Tony's life where he knew discipline is, like, when he was with me. And I feel like he needs it. Like, I feel like he needs the discipline for me.
Kalila
I'll sit with the crew over there and just let you guys at it. You know, I'll prepare all the questions while I co produce with the girls.
Esther
And I think, you know, one thing about me is, like, I'm such a nostalgia addict that, like, that. It's like, when I was so close to Someone at such a special time, like, that's a real connection for me. You know, like, anyone from height school, anyone from those early open mic years, like, I just feel a strong connection there. But if you were to, like, compare any of my exes to Dave, it's like, literally comparing Dave to a paperclip. And I mean that with no disrespect. It's just the way that he is as a human and the way we connect versus everyone else. It's like everyone else is paper clips.
Kalila
Yeah. Useful for paper, but not for you.
Esther
Nothing against them, but just in that romantic way.
Kalila
It's like, yeah, you're an inanimate object. That is neither good nor bad, but just an inanimate. Yes.
Esther
And the memories are there and, like, let's get into them. It's so fun, period.
Kalila
You know, when their exes, like, I. I've never been one to, like, fantasize or miss an ex in that way. To, like, oh, I wonder what it would be like to, like, kiss him again. Or I. And that's because all of my relationships, I've let them play out a little too long. I've let the record play past the end where it's just, like, now it's like, just friction and it's just, you know.
Esther
Well, for me, though, after the breakup, those, like, first six months, I'm like, I am dying and would do anything for them back. But then once it's done, it's like, it's done. But I definitely suffer for a while. Yeah, I'm a sufferer post breakup. Very dramatic. What about you? Anyone come to mind, though, for you?
Kalila
I'd love to have Theo on. I miss him. I, I, you know, I really like Theo a lot. Just for the sake of it. I would love to have, like, a Meghan Markle just because I'm like, tell me who you really are. Like, I. Enough with this, like, polite society interviews. Like, like, you're one of us.
Esther
I know.
Kalila
And I need you to, like, take the mask off and, like, reveal yourself.
Esther
And I feel like, compliment to us, that's, like, too braggy. But I feel like we could really get down and dirty in there.
Kalila
Like, I feel like this outfit is what I would ask you to wear for the Meghan Markle interview. And I would wear my Crocs and, like, I just need her to, like, peel off a couple layers of the. Whatever she feels like. Like, you know, society has, like, pressured her to, like, wear or put on, and I need her to just be her.
Esther
Yeah, I do Feel like that's a goal for the new year is like, to really just, like, break down, like, get people, like, to break down. Not like crying break down, but just, like, break them down to, like, who they really are and get to know them.
Jenna
Yeah.
Esther
And not. Not have the, like, fake.
Kalila
It is so hard, though, to be perceived. And I know why people put on a mask or three or four, and, like, I certainly do it, but, you know, like, I'm very much a little bit of a shapeshifter in that. Even the way that I speak. Like, I code switch because I'm uncomfortable when people, like historically in my life when people point out my Filipino accent. So I've tried to Americanize it in the past, not so much now around you guys, whatever. But I hear myself, like, stumble on words because I'm trying to over Americanize it because I don't want it to be called out. I'm okay with it being called out now, but in the past, like, I've been, like, embarrassed about it. Of course.
Esther
That makes so much sense.
Kalila
So, I mean, I. I put on that mask and I act differently around different people. And I wish I was a little bit more like you, where you're just like, just your trashy little self no matter where you go.
Esther
Yeah. But I'm guilty of it too. It's like when I'm in a room of Jewish people, I'm Jewish. And when I'm in a room with Christian people, I'm Christian. Like, it's. I. Yeah, it's just kind of the way of the world, I think, sometimes.
Kalila
Yeah, I think so. And it's also like, self protective in a way.
Esther
Yeah.
Kalila
Where it's like, I don't know you. So I'm going to put on a mask that keeps me safe and then I'll take it off. When we really get to dig deep and know each other, then you can see me. For me, she's not great. She's very unwell.
Esther
You won't like it.
Kalila
And she speaks in hard consonants.
Producer/Assistant
I think you guys getting vulnerable, like. Like you can see them start to warm up.
Esther
Yeah, that's true. I do. I feel like I've seen that too, where like, Kalila will just be like, I was molested. And people are like, oh, it's okay. I can really be myself. Like, yeah, life is good.
Kalila
Cherished childhood.
Esther
What's the most vulnerable thing you've realized about yourself because of doing this show?
Kalila
Whoa. That's a great question.
Esther
I don't.
Kalila
Whoa. I think it's what I Just mentioned, which is my inability and my fear of being perceived. I thought that coming into podcasting that I was this open book because I was willing to talk about trauma and molestation and murders and within the family and my relationship, but it turns out it's quite the opposite. I'm actually extremely guarded. And the reason that I share those things is because I find that information disposable, and it keeps people from asking me more.
Producer/Assistant
It's like a red herring.
Kalila
Yeah, it is, exactly. It's a red herring. So it's like, well, if I tell you about my molestation, which in theory is a very vulnerable thing to say, but truly, it doesn't, like, affect me in my bones anymore, then you're not going to ask me about the stuff that really matters or what is really aching me right now. I've unraveled this in therapy and through podcasting for the past decade. Decade. I realized that, no, I'm not an open book. I'm actually a very closed book. I keep people away. I keep people at an arm's length. I. I'm a no new friends policy. I am very antisocial, and I am very much, for lack of a better word, like, extremely, extremely secretive.
Esther
You so are. Yeah.
Kalila
Yeah. That's a realization I've had, and I'm working on it because I do think that community. I've lost the ability to connect with people because I'm. I've. I've gotten scared over the years.
Esther
That's a common pendulum swing, I think, that happens with people. Do you want to share anything about what is, like, really on your mind right now, or is that not. It's not the time you first. Well, I'm, like, trying to answer this question. The most vulnerable thing I've realized because of doing this show, like, definitely when we first started, and, like, all the hate I got really hurt me. And you were like, esther, this is podcasting, period. Like, this is what it is.
Kalila
Meanwhile, I'm crying in a corner.
Esther
But you were right. Like, yeah, the pain doesn't go away, whatever. But you do at least just get used to it. Like, oh, you're going to post a tik tok, and, like, half people are going to hate you and have. People are going to defend you. And it's like, that's just. That's the way of the world. And I can handle that now. Whereas when I see, like, we have guests, they're like, oh, my God, this clip and everyone's saying this, I'm like. I'm like, oh, yeah, I remember when, I remember when. But I'm like, those mattered. Yeah. But like, that does not matter to me at all. No one will care. Two hours later.
Kalila
But I think that's a great realization. Is that, like, it is the WWE and the Internet is not real life. It's hard to admit that something did hurt you up front.
Esther
Yeah.
Kalila
You know, like, you want to be the. This, this, you know, impenetrable force of being. Like, I just exist and everyone can have their chatter about me and it's none of my business. I wish I was that person.
Esther
Yeah.
Kalila
I am just not. I think it's vulnerable to admit that because people are like, oh, well, then the comments do hurt her. Then I must keep.
Esther
But it's like, no, I'm not getting into the mud with crazy people.
Kalila
Do you know, every.
Esther
As much as all my instincts want
Kalila
me to, every day for the last four years of my life, the thought of doing a sit down, tell all.
Esther
Oh, I know.
Kalila
But I cannot. And I cannot because.
Esther
And I will not as entertaining as it would be. It's like a step in the wrong direction.
Kalila
It is a step in the wrong direction.
Esther
It's like, let those other people do it.
Kalila
And I've talked to my therapist about this because I'm like, I'm about to go scorched earth. And she's just like, for what you're gonna like, will it make you sleep better at night? And I told her no, because I think that it would ruin relationships. And I think that people would be very, very hurt about this. Even if it's people I don't like or I don't have relationships with anymore, it would still hurt them. And she's like, would that make you feel better? And I told her, no, it wouldn't. Yeah, I would probably feel relief that, that some closer version to the truth is out there. But would I feel remorse for hurting someone? A hundred percent.
Esther
And you know what? I think it's sort of like if, if I was like, emotionally immature and in my 20s, like, I would be so in the mud. Yeah, I would be ready and rocking and rolling. But it's like, to me, I look at this as, like, growth of like. No, I'm, I, I'm good, I think. And I think I want to move forward in life to this specific podcast.
Kalila
What another thing I learned about myself is, and I'm very proud of myself for this is I don't around anymore with people. I used to have this, like, threshold for, like, you can be a repeat offender in my life. And I'll still somehow forgive you. I don't do that anymore. Yeah, if you cross the line with me, I'm okay with cutting you off and literally forgetting you even exist. And I think I've. I've finally learned to do that. And it's brought me so much relief.
Esther
I feel similarly too, where it's like, oh, if anyone is like, fun and exciting, like, let's go. And I'm like, no, I. That's a red flag in me, in them. The fact that I'm so excited by them, like, it's all just like a toxic thing.
Kalila
No, no. More toxic. Not. None of that. And I. I think even having a baby, where I'm just like, no, thanks. I don't even have the energy for my man. You think I'm gonna have energy for your bullshit?
Esther
We're also just both, like, dying. You guys. Thank you so much for joining Migraine.
Kalila
Oh, my God. Maybe. Maybe it's a Babadook. I'm saying too much.
Esther
Some of this might end up on the Patreon. We're gonna carry this conversation over there and if you want to keep listening, check out the link below. And as always, thank you. We could not do this without you. I'm so curious how you guys feel about the Just Kyla and Esther episode. So def. Sound off. Let us know if you hate it or love it. We can handle either response. And we'll see you next week.
Kalila
I can't handle it. She will.
Esther
We'll see you next week with a brand new episode. Bye, guys.
Trash Tuesday w/ Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn
Episode: Esther And Khalyla Are Two Peas On A Pod
Date: March 10, 2026
This warm, cozy, and hilariously raw episode of Trash Tuesday is just "the girls": hosts Esther Povitsky and Khalyla Kuhn (joined at times by producer Jenna), without a guest. The episode reflects on the intimacy and unpredictability that arises when friends record together, delving into honest takes on celebrity allure, quirky parental communication, body changes and motherhood, podcasting milestones, and the hosts’ growth over the years. The mood oscillates from raucous laughter to touching vulnerability, all peppered with classic Trash Tuesday candor and offbeat humor.
Timestamps: [00:01–01:32]
Timestamps: [01:58–04:44]
Timestamps: [04:27–08:33]
“She goes, ‘She's in a movie with Voldemort, the short, funny Mexican guy.’ ... Wilmer Valderrama is acting in a Christmas movie with Danny DeVito's daughter. That's what she wanted to say.” —Khalyla [06:21, 07:00]
Timestamps: [10:04–11:46]
Timestamps: [12:28–15:39]
Timestamps: [16:26–22:53]
Timestamps: [28:01–31:24]
Timestamps: [31:30–33:32]
Timestamps: [33:44–36:02]
Timestamps: [41:26–46:42]
Timestamps: [47:44–51:17]
Timestamps: [53:05–59:06]
On the power of in-person energy:
“He really had that and I was just like, wow. This, this power of like a hot person with like that glamoury glow. That power is so undeniable and it will never go away.” —Esther on Will Arnett [02:58]
On being diet-guarded:
“No, I'm not getting into the mud with crazy people.” —Esther [57:37]
On work boundaries:
“I don't [mess] around anymore with people. I used to have this, like, threshold for, like, you can be a repeat offender and I'll still somehow forgive you. I don't do that anymore.” —Khalyla [59:06]
On post-baby bodies and unrealistic timelines:
“The one part that I will say, though, just the umbrella of, like, you can have sex after six weeks—After six weeks? Hell no.” —Khalyla [21:52]
On authenticity and masks:
"I'm very much a little bit of a shapeshifter... I wish I was a little bit more like you, where you're just like, just your trashy little self no matter where you go." —Khalyla [53:07]
| Segment | Time Range | Brief | | --- | --- | --- | | Opening banter, host-only dynamic | 00:01–01:32 | Establishing the guestless “realness” vibe | | Celebrity encounters & attractiveness | 01:58–04:44 | Will Arnett, star presence, perception | | Mom communication styles | 04:27–08:33 | Translating “Merites Limericks” vs. over-explanation | | Superstitions/OCD & the “Babadook” | 10:04–11:46 | Patterned bad luck, superstitious thinking | | Light switch, electrocution, and lighting | 12:28–15:39 | Childhood wiring trauma, lighting hacks | | Body image & postpartum myths | 16:26–22:53 | Physical changes, social pressures, fake timelines | | Snack chat & “salt blow” riff | 28:01–31:24 | Missing bananas, LA salt culture | | Podcasting longevity | 31:30–33:32 | 5 years celebrated, failures discussed | | Real-life adversity & compassion | 33:44–36:02 | Toxic work environment story | | Esther’s wedding, motherhood | 41:26–46:42 | Emotional storytelling, private vows | | Dream podcast guests | 47:44–51:17 | Fantasies, nostalgia, exes as “paper clips” | | Vulnerability and personal growth | 53:05–59:06 | Boundaries, being perceived, resilience secrets | | Wrap-up | 60:08–end | Teaser for Patreon, gratitude, listener engagement |
This episode is a masterclass in honest, messy, hilarious female friendship and the unexpected directions life takes. Full of inside jokes, social commentary, and self-reflection, it showcases Esther, Khalyla, and Jenna at their most unfiltered—and endearing. For new and longtime “Sluggies” alike, it’s an invitation to sit on the pod and let your “balls hang.”