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Esther Povitsky
This podcast is sponsored by Skims. There are three things I always consider and I prioritize when purchasing anything that touches my skin. And that is, is it comfortable? Is it supportive? And do I feel cute in it? And before Skims, like, underwear was sort of just this afterthought. What I actually wear under my shirt, under my jeans, really sort of like, dictates and defines how I feel about myself for the rest of the day. Life hack. If you want to feel cute outside of what you're wearing, make sure that you're choosing comfortable underwear that you still feel cute in. Take my word for it. The Scoop Bralette from the Fits Everybody collection. It is so flattering, so supportive, so cute. Go get you a couple colors. I have them in all colors and I swear by them and you will too. Shop my favorite bras and underwear@skims.com and after you place your order, be sure to let them know we sent you. You can select podcast in the survey and be sure to select our show Trash Tuesday in the drop down menu that follows.
Annie Lederman
Jules, how was Hawaii?
Jules
It was so fun.
Annie Lederman
Why?
Jules
I was just. I was just like, surfing and just like, free diving all the time.
Annie Lederman
You know how to do that?
Jules
Yeah. Atikaleila taught me surfing. Aloha taught me, you can do it. I'm okay with it. That's why I'm, like, learning like every day. Like, I want to be good at it.
Annie Lederman
Have you ever surfed?
Heather McMahon
I actually used to go to surf camp every summer.
Khalyla Kuhn
What? Oh, yeah, girl.
Heather McMahon
I used to shred the gnar. I used to go to a surf camp in San Diego for about five summers when I was in junior high to high school. It was called Pasquet Surf Camp. And Izzy Pasquitz ran the camp. And we used to, like, hang out in a trailer park in San Diego in Mission Bay with, like, Rob Muchado and Kelly Slater. And I was this, like, preppy kid from Atlanta, and I would just fly to California every summer and go to surf camp. I went to theater camp and surf camp.
Annie Lederman
Wait, that's.
Heather McMahon
And then I would play golf competitively. I'm a real jack of all trades. Yeah.
Annie Lederman
I don't understand. Were you one day, like, the kid that woke up and was like, I wanna surf?
Heather McMahon
Blue Crush came out. Yeah. I was landlocked in Atlanta. Blue Crush came out. My parents took me to Hawaii. We went to Oahu, and I was like, this is it. This is my destiny. And I found a surf camp and my best friend and went. And I was actually pretty decent. I can only Longboard. I also haven't been on a surfboard in years, but I had the time of my life. It was like the, the most fun experience.
Annie Lederman
Could you pick up a surfboard today?
Heather McMahon
Yeah, I mean I probably, I feel like once you do it, you can do it. I couldn't translate it to like all board sports. Terrible skateboarder. But yeah, I could probably get up on a, a board.
Annie Lederman
Shout out to our golden slug, Brandon Kyla. We have a Patreon.
Khalyla Kuhn
We do have a Patreon.
Annie Lederman
We have a spanking. Brand new video.
Khalyla Kuhn
It's a juicy. Well, everything on there is juicy.
Annie Lederman
Juicy. I know. We love our Patreon because we get to be ourselves and connect with the listeners a little more better. We'll see you guys at the link below. Don't forget to check out the hater tier. You guys. I finally announced my tour, the Pretty Little Baby tour. And you can get tickets atprettylittlebaby tour.com. i'm coming to Madison, Wisconsin, Denver, Seattle, Olympia, Washington, Portland, New York, Philadelphia, Boston and more. You can check out the links. Get tickets at pretty littlebaby tour.com. i can't wait to see you guys. Kalila, how was Hawaii?
Khalyla Kuhn
It was great. She was there with me.
Annie Lederman
I know you guys both look a shade darker.
Khalyla Kuhn
Really? Yeah, she's a. Yeah, she went surfing every day. We're water girlies.
Heather McMahon
Are you Pisces? I'm very water girly.
Khalyla Kuhn
Are you like super into the ocean?
Heather McMahon
Very into the ocean. I need to be by the ocean. I was just telling the gals I used to go to surf camp growing up. Yes. And I'm from like landlocked Atlanta, Georgia. But I would shred the gnar every summer. That was my thing for the whole summer.
Khalyla Kuhn
Oh my God.
Heather McMahon
You hear that?
Khalyla Kuhn
She shreds the gnar.
Annie Lederman
I feel so like I'm in the wrong place. Like I can't swim. The thought you can't swim? No. The thought of getting on a surfboard is like instant death to me. I don't, I just, it's something I don't understand. Like when people look at me and they're like, I don't know how you do stand up comedy. I'm like, are you? It's on land, it's simple. But like water stuff is like, we're not supposed to do that now is.
Heather McMahon
It like really can't swim? Like we wouldn't survive.
Annie Lederman
Correct.
Heather McMahon
Wow. So we're on, we're going out for a leisure, you know, paddle boarding situation. We must have a life jacket on.
Annie Lederman
Oh, for sure.
Khalyla Kuhn
She's in fluorescence fluorescent. We gotta find her floating body.
Annie Lederman
And by the way, it'd be very tricky to even get me on the paddle board because just knowing that I could fall in.
Khalyla Kuhn
She's bad company on a paddle board.
Heather McMahon
Yeah, you wouldn't want her in front.
Khalyla Kuhn
I'd rather have your three Frenchies.
Heather McMahon
Yeah. Okay. Okay. Well, and I love the videos of, like, the bulldogs or the Frenchies, like on the surfboard. Tandem surfing. I could never do that with mine, but that's the dream, like, to be on a surfboard with my dogs.
Khalyla Kuhn
I'm like, well, with the Frenchies, they're like snub nosed. They could drown easy. And they're big chested.
Heather McMahon
Yeah.
Khalyla Kuhn
You know, they just. They're.
Heather McMahon
They're divas. That's what it is.
Annie Lederman
Wait to you guys. So, first of all, let's welcome our guest, Heather McMahon. Hi, guys. How are we doing?
Heather McMahon
Thanks for having me.
Annie Lederman
Literally an icon in comedy. We've been trying to get her since the day we started this podcast. I watch her podcast every week. It's called Absolutely not so Sweet. Are you on tour? You're taking time off?
Heather McMahon
I take the summers off. You know what I mean? Because my audience, my gals are on vacation or their kids at, you know, or at camp or they're at their lake house. So I take the summers off. I'm not trying to sweat and do tell jokes. I'm exhausted.
Khalyla Kuhn
That's a way to live, though. It's like, I feel like everybody that I've met in comedy so far, they don't know how to take a vacation unless it's mixed with work. And I, it's. I dated a comic for 10 years and it's like, well, I'll only go to that place you want to go if there's work for me there. And I'm like, I. Can we just, like, lay around like bums?
Heather McMahon
Can't we go to Ibiza and just have paella and some white wine and shut the fuck up?
Khalyla Kuhn
I did bad things in Ibiza.
Heather McMahon
Yeah?
Annie Lederman
What did you do there?
Khalyla Kuhn
And when save in Barcelona. Barcelona. I got analed all day.
Annie Lederman
Stop saying that on this podcast.
Heather McMahon
But it's the truth.
Khalyla Kuhn
I got anal. Those Spanish boys just, like, don't ask. And they just enter.
Heather McMahon
Europeans do love to enter. They love to enter.
Annie Lederman
Jules, have you ever had anal against your will?
Jules
No, I've never tried, but I heard Atikalai stories about Ibiza and I want to have a threesome there.
Khalyla Kuhn
Oh, my God.
Annie Lederman
With a guy and A girl, either. What do you mean?
Jules
Boy? Boy or girl?
Annie Lederman
Girl or boy?
Khalyla Kuhn
Girl.
Annie Lederman
Okay.
Heather McMahon
Boy. Boy is too much, I'm gonna tell you that. Have you tried? I have no interest. It's just too many dicks.
Khalyla Kuhn
You don't need that many.
Heather McMahon
Yeah.
Khalyla Kuhn
And I lived with boy boy for a couple years, and it's not too many dicks. It's too many emotions, really.
Heather McMahon
More than a girl.
Khalyla Kuhn
Girl. Yeah. The feelings are there. They get weird with each other. The jealousy, it's. It's not even too many dicks. The amount of dicks can go up. It's the feelings involved that get a little bit like, okay, like, I can't handle. Yeah, what's going on there? Why don't you just kiss?
Heather McMahon
Why'd you just kiss?
Khalyla Kuhn
Just kiss. Guys.
Jules
Have they kissed?
Khalyla Kuhn
They never kiss. They didn't even really like you. They tolerated each other. Anyways, this is my niece, Jewel. She's our resident.
Heather McMahon
I'm so glad family's here and we're really breaking this down. And this is what I love about this show is that we incorporate family and really teach you the ways of the world. So welcome.
Khalyla Kuhn
She's our resident girl that doesn't want to be here.
Heather McMahon
I love that everybody needs one.
Khalyla Kuhn
Yeah.
Heather McMahon
Good for you.
Annie Lederman
So this is the first time we're recording after, like, a really long break. All of June, they were in Hawaii, and I was shooting a horror film, and I realized something on this when I was working with, like, normal people. I mean, I guess actresses aren't normal, but they're, like, normal compared to comedians, I think.
Heather McMahon
Yeah.
Annie Lederman
I realized that I have something. I've officially clinically diagnosed myself with podcast personality.
Khalyla Kuhn
Oh, interesting. Tell me more.
Annie Lederman
They would just say something like, oh, I really like these oranges from Air1. And I. It was like my instinct to have a major, huge reaction to anything. Everyone said I'd be like, this. That's crazy. And people were like, esther, like, calm down. But I. And then I'm like, I will end home. Then I'm like, oh, no, this is podcast personality.
Khalyla Kuhn
I can totally react.
Heather McMahon
You're trained to have use my code oranges. 15 for 15% off.
Annie Lederman
But it's like after doing podcasts for so long, it's like, because you can't just have, like a non reaction. You have to, like, choose one big direction. And I do that with everyone.
Khalyla Kuhn
So true. And it's like you're. You're trained to fear dead air. So then you can't just listen to someone. You have to add information. And now Oranges are, you know, we're talking about. Yeah, Mandarin.
Heather McMahon
We're going through the whole list.
Khalyla Kuhn
You're so right. I think this is why I've been a hermit. I don't like to socialize as much because I'm afraid of being that person.
Annie Lederman
I was just annoying as to be around. Thankfully, I also on this job was the first time that I just had no energy to have a fake personality. So I was just exactly myself. And I feel like it actually went well. Like people were enjoying it. Just me being annoying and being like, you know, free about it.
Heather McMahon
Telling people you can't swim.
Annie Lederman
Do you feel like you have podcast personality?
Heather McMahon
I'm sure it's also too. I feel like in order to even keep the ball, there's so many balls in the air. Right. In this business. It's just kind of like all day you're on. And I have realized, like, this is why I take like two months off in the summer because I'm so overstimulated. I've just become a raging cunt to everybody in my family. My poor husband. Like, I have to shut down. And I'm a very extroverted by nature social person. Like, I want to go to dinners, I want to chit chat. I'm not quiet backstage. I want to be social. But now I'm like being on the road and then podcasting all day and doing this and just being elevated with your cortisol and high all day. I come home and I'm like, I don't even want to. I only listen to cocktail jazz. I can't even listen to top 40 anymore. I listen to cocktail jazz. I listen to bossa nova mornings. Like, I have to be quiet and I'm turning kind of a shell of a human because it's too much and I gotta get Selah's gotta get her groove back and that's why she's going to Mallorca.
Khalyla Kuhn
Are you really going to Mallorca?
Heather McMahon
I'm going to Mallorca and I'm doing. I'm going all over Portugal.
Khalyla Kuhn
Portugal too.
Heather McMahon
Yeah. I'm pumped.
Khalyla Kuhn
God, that's where the boys like me too.
Heather McMahon
See, they like me in Italy and my husband and I usually go to Italy every summer, but we're doing. We're switching it up this year. We're being crazy. Yeah. Yeah. I really get dick down in Ital even before I met my husband.
Khalyla Kuhn
Really?
Heather McMahon
Yeah. Oh. When I studied abroad, what it is.
Khalyla Kuhn
About Italians and you, they like curves.
Heather McMahon
They like big titties, they love blonde and. Yeah. And when you have sex with an Italian, Italian, they love to smoke like a Marlboro Red afterwards. And they love watching American shows. So you like, finish, you have a Marlboro Red and you're like, you know, you're ripping heaters and you're watching the Simpsons and you're like, this is great. But then you get like, catch me e Pepe at the end. It's just great. It's fun.
Jules
Do they have big dicks?
Heather McMahon
Uncircumcised. You know, it runs a gamut. It's not just like you can culturally say that Italians have one size.
Khalyla Kuhn
I'm into the uncuts. Give me an uncut. Because jerking off an uncut is so easy. I could do it from all the way over here, half asleep. Because the skin acts as a hand already. So you don't have to just slave away, you know. Sorry. They're getting demonetized on YouTube. You're not going to. You're just. It's the easiest thing. The, the pocket is there for them. They have a built in flashlight.
Heather McMahon
I was literally thinking they have a built in flashlight. It is an extra layer of, you.
Khalyla Kuhn
Know, friction less work, baby.
Annie Lederman
I don't mean this in offensive way, but I think I'm going to be sick.
Khalyla Kuhn
Oh, I'm sorry.
Annie Lederman
I don't know. It's so weird.
Khalyla Kuhn
Yeah, really. You know, I come from Filipino culture where uncut is very looked down upon.
Annie Lederman
Oh, really?
Khalyla Kuhn
You're humiliated as a child because I think it's.
Annie Lederman
I think that the trend is going to swing back where people should stop getting cut.
Khalyla Kuhn
I think so too. I think it's mutilation without consent.
Annie Lederman
Agreed.
Khalyla Kuhn
I used to be one of those people because I'm from the Philippines where I'm like, ooh, peewee, like you have foreskin. Like, get out of my face. But not anymore. I've changed. I've grown.
Heather McMahon
Listen, we all got to grow. You get to have Diet Coke.
Khalyla Kuhn
Wait, what is it about Diet Cokes? Cuz she's entered a Diet Coke.
Heather McMahon
Are you back on it?
Jules
No, I've never tried it before, but then I'm living.
Heather McMahon
How old are you?
Jules
23.
Heather McMahon
23. You never had a DC?
Jules
Never.
Annie Lederman
Wait, you've never had it now?
Jules
I just started it like this January because I started living with Tito Bobby and then he has like a lot of Diet Coke. So I decided to try it and now I'm addicted.
Khalyla Kuhn
Now she's stealing everyone's Diet Coke.
Jules
Everyone, like even Tiger Belly in all.
Khalyla Kuhn
The fridges everywhere in America.
Heather McMahon
Just only Limit yourself to like two or three a day because then next thing you know, you're buying a 12 pack. You've had 12 Diet Cokes. Like, it's bad. My dad, I'm pretty sure he died of pancreatic cancer, but I'm 99% sure he died a Diet Coke. Like he would literally be the guy who would drink like 12 a day. And I'm like, yeah, that much aspartame will kill you. I don't care what anybody says. So I gave him up. After my dad passed, I was like, I'll never touch Diet Coke. So I went 10 hard years without it. And then I was on set one day and I was like, if I have an iced coffee at 3 o' clock in the afternoon, I'm going to shit myself. So I was like, let's ease into the caffeine. I got a DC and now I'm back. I'll have four of these. And it's. I'm not happy about it.
Annie Lederman
Isn't Coke Zero better than Diet Coke?
Heather McMahon
No, because it wise. Yes, I agree. I think so. But it's a European Coke Zero. I also think a Coca Light. Coca Light. European Diet Coke is totally different.
Khalyla Kuhn
No one knows about Coke.
Annie Lederman
A light.
Heather McMahon
It's the EU's version of diet Coke. And there's. It's a different sweetener.
Khalyla Kuhn
It's a different sweetener in the Philippines. It's not Coca Light, it's just Coke Light.
Heather McMahon
Yeah.
Khalyla Kuhn
And it is tastier.
Heather McMahon
You can have 45 and run a marathon and just like, but never feel shitty.
Khalyla Kuhn
Right.
Heather McMahon
And your teeth stay white. It's just like, it's a vibe.
Annie Lederman
You know what days I'm really longing for is back before I knew about like cortisol spikes and like just ruining your guts and intestines. Is the days like five years ago when I would wake up, do a long walk to a coffee shop, get a giant black iced coffee, drink the whole thing and just fucking be on fire all day. Rage all day, rage out against my family.
Heather McMahon
Yeah.
Annie Lederman
Lately I've been like longing for that feeling. Because now it's like, oh, when you first wake up, you have to have food in your stomach. And I'm avoiding coffee cause of anxiety. I just feel like I'm a fucking loser now.
Heather McMahon
I feel like I've become a pussy ass bitch. And I feel that way. Cause I can't have. I have to have 30 grams of protein. Cannot have any sort of caffeine before I have the protein in my stomach or I'll be Sweating and the adrenals and all. I'm on the same journey as you. I get it.
Khalyla Kuhn
I can't even eat meat unless there is a four hour gap between eating meat and falling asleep. Or else I just get the meat sweats all night. But then you, your age, my God, did I just rage, rage, rage. And it stopped at halt. Like screeching halt at 32 when I started shitting blood. And I was like, okay then is.
Annie Lederman
There really that big of a difference in our bodies between this age and our age?
Khalyla Kuhn
I didn't think so. I was in denial until I saw the, the blood in my. I was like, oh, okay, I need to slow down.
Annie Lederman
Yeah, Stella, what do you mean yeah? There is.
Khalyla Kuhn
When I was younger, once I ate a full casserole to myself when I was like 23. And I can't. The joy and I can't do that now. You can let power through, Stella. Anyone can buckle down. Yeah. Be brave.
Heather McMahon
You'll just be so swollen that you can't get any of your jewelry off. Even like a loose fitting necklace. You'll have like a bobble necklace like stuck at your throat. That's my thing is I have to watch. And I may. I'm a Malden sea salt girl. I'm putting salt on everything. But like I literally, I got a lymphatic drainage massage yesterday because from flying I can't get any of my jewelry off. And I just had surgery. So I have to be like, you know, deflate, deflate. And it's just like, when did we it be come? Like I can't even look at something semi salty without my face blowing up.
Annie Lederman
What is your next surgery that you had to have?
Heather McMahon
Oh my God, you guys, this was self inflicted. I got a deep play necklace at Christmas and my doctor went a little too conservative so we had to do it again.
Annie Lederman
Wait, what's a D plane necklace?
Khalyla Kuhn
That's basically what I want.
Heather McMahon
Yeah, you don't need it.
Khalyla Kuhn
Not yet.
Heather McMahon
No, not yet.
Khalyla Kuhn
I thought you were supposed to get it when you're not. You haven't hit the maximum yet.
Heather McMahon
I basically after like, you know, editing two specials, I was like, ah, this has got to. I got to tighten up the neck. So they went in. They basically like just like tighten up your neck. And then my doctor was like, went too conservative. He's like, you're on camera. I didn't want to go full. I was like, no, no. So I ended up with like just like this little fat pad. And so he had to go in there and do it again. So I'm really, really swollen and every day at 4 o', clock, I look like quagmire. Like, my jaw drops. So I'm. I'm should not be at work right now.
Khalyla Kuhn
What's the downtime for?
Heather McMahon
The first time was pretty gnarly. I mean, you're. You. If you can hide for a month, you should. And healing is really linear. That's the thing, is nobody tells you. And you don't need to do anything. You're beautiful. Never change anything about yourself and don't listen to the people that leave comments on Reddit about your face. Okay? You're beautiful. It was gnarly, but. Cause they cut in front of your ears, then behind your ears, and then under here, and they kind of like scoop everything up again. Nothing was done to my face. My face, I was like, is perfect. I was like, don't touch it. It was just tightening this up. But I had to get it done basically twice. And so I'm. I got a new, like, hour of comedy out of it. But I just never thought that I'd have to, like, get up and be like, Let me tell you about my three times. I had to get plastic surgery on the same spot. Like, you know, you hear about, like, I've done IVF a ton, and it didn't take. You never hear about getting, like, lipo to your neck. And it doesn't take. You know what I mean? Like, who gets Whose plastic surgery? Doesn't take mine? So that's where I'm at. And I never thought I'd be that person.
Annie Lederman
You look perfect.
Khalyla Kuhn
You do look great. I. I had breast implants, woke up with double Ds and hated them. I had asked for Cs, woke up with Ds because he went the opposite of conservative. He was like, I think she wants this.
Heather McMahon
Yeah.
Khalyla Kuhn
Woke up and I was like, what the fuck are these? And I took him out. Within a year and a half, you.
Heather McMahon
Know, we get to that age, I turned 38, and it was just like, simple things where I was like, I don't. I don't want to stare at this anymore. I'm going to. I'm going to tweak, you know? Yeah, I'm going to tweak. So I went back to my same doctor for the revision because he. He's a great doctor. And he was like, let me fix it, right? And. But I just got a second opinion from this guy here in la. He has been confusing me with another comedian and keeps texting me as if I am that comedian. And I've tried to tell him, like, we did a FaceTime where we, like, FaceTimed. He saw my face. We had a consultation. He said, no, you actually had great work done. He was just a little too conservative. I think you should go back to your original doctor to fix it. That's what he originally said. And then he sent me a sheet, like, the price. This guy wanted to charge me $133,000 for what? Touch my neck. And he keeps texting me as if I am another comedian who I won't say their name. And I'm like, this is breaking hipaa. Like, now I know that this woman is also trying to get it done. And I responded like, LOL. Not her. Ha ha. And then he keeps DMing me, like, when am I gonna see you? See you're in la. Come on in. I'm like, no, you're still texting me as if I'm the other person. It's really fucked up. So don't get any work done in la.
Khalyla Kuhn
That's all I wanna say now, because you got this mixed up.
Heather McMahon
I know. I'm like, your whole job is to look at faces and you can't have no facial.
Khalyla Kuhn
You're going to wake up with more tits.
Heather McMahon
I'm going to end up with a boob on my fucking forehead. At this point, they're all getting it done.
Annie Lederman
I heard that you said that 2025 is the year of Miss Piggy personality.
Heather McMahon
So I got really addicted to Miss Piggy last year, especially when, well, I was. I was on Oxy's after my first nap.
Khalyla Kuhn
Okay, got it again.
Heather McMahon
Never do Oxy's. And I would buy stuff on Etsy. I found out what Etsy was and it changed my life. And I've always loved Miss Piggy because she and I have the exact same, like, personality. On stage, I'm always in feathers and diamonds. And I love, like, really glam girl. And I love that Kermit follows her around. My husband's my biggest fan and I just love her. Everything about Miss Piggy is fucking hysterical. After my surgery, I'd buy all this Miss Piggy stuff. And it just memorabilia started showing up at my house. Forgot I had bought any of it. And now she's really having a moment. Like, Amy Poehler recently was talking about Miss Piggy. Like, Miss Piggy is that girl. Look at her, she's fucking fierce. Like, that's me at the Emmys. Like, go all the way up. She's got the microphone with the blown out hair that's me at the Emmys. Like, you can't tell me that that's not me. We both have a nice, strong chin. I have the same blowout. Like, that's my girl. That is my girl.
Annie Lederman
What do you imagine she's doing in her downtime when she's not on the red carpet?
Heather McMahon
She's also getting work done.
Annie Lederman
Podcasting.
Heather McMahon
No, she's absolutely not podcasting. She's screaming at Kermit.
Khalyla Kuhn
Do you think Italian men like her?
Heather McMahon
Oh, my. Of course. She absolutely has 16 Italian boyfriends, and Kermit looks the other way. Yeah, of. But she goes to classy places like the island of Ischia or she does a Malfi, but she wouldn't dare see her in Capri. You know, she's like, that's for.
Annie Lederman
Okay, this is gonna sound a little bit like Jules not having had Diet Coke, But I, at 37, for the first time in my life, watched a medical drama. Have you guys ever watched one?
Heather McMahon
Which one did you watch?
Annie Lederman
I watched the Pit.
Heather McMahon
Great job.
Khalyla Kuhn
Yeah, we're happy. They casted some Filipinos, so keep going.
Annie Lederman
I am changed forever by this. Have you guys watched medical dramas before?
Khalyla Kuhn
Yeah, I was a big er.
Heather McMahon
Same.
Khalyla Kuhn
Yeah.
Heather McMahon
Is it the.
Annie Lederman
Have you watched the Pit?
Heather McMahon
I just started the Pit.
Khalyla Kuhn
You were big on Gray's Anatomy. She was huge. Grey's Anatomy.
Heather McMahon
So that was a big thing in, like, in the sorority house, we would all. Everybody would watch Grey's. And I remember being, like, so cynical about Grace. I was like, this is the dumbest fucking show. Please put me in another show. But, like, I just could never get in touch with Grace. It was too much of the relationships. I wanted to see, like, the actual limbs flying off. And that's why I like the Pit. The Pit's like, you're in it.
Annie Lederman
The Pit is so good, but I don't understand how it's so gory. Like, how do you stomach that?
Heather McMahon
I think now that I've had plastic surgery, when you have a drain coming out of your throat, you just figure it out. And I was never like that. I don't like medical things. I have a queasy stomach. But I think now I'm like, oh, okay, I could handle it.
Annie Lederman
I'm like, is this part of what gets you hooked into a medical drama is like, that you'll just be watching a conversation, and it cuts out to, like, someone being ripped open. Like, it's so freaky. Like, it. It's a roller coaster.
Khalyla Kuhn
My favorite show was not even a medical drama. It was real life. There Used to be a show called Mystery Diagnosis.
Heather McMahon
The best, wasn't it?
Khalyla Kuhn
The best ever.
Heather McMahon
Best, yes.
Khalyla Kuhn
I don't think I've missed a single episode. So, basically, Mystery Diagnosis. I don't. What channel was it on?
Heather McMahon
It was like that out on Netflix, like a couple. It's not an old show.
Khalyla Kuhn
Well, it was. It was. I think.
Heather McMahon
And then they redid it.
Khalyla Kuhn
Yeah, they redid.
Heather McMahon
You're right.
Khalyla Kuhn
So basically, it's like they present this person with this thing and their journey to finding out exactly what it is. And it's always some very, very rare, rare thing.
Heather McMahon
Yeah.
Khalyla Kuhn
But they only, like, reveal it at the end. But it's so. It's so good. You would have loved this. You would have loved this.
Annie Lederman
Yeah, it sounds really good.
Heather McMahon
They did a reboot of this on Netflix. It may not be Mystery Diagnosis. It's something similar. And basically, this woman had, like, a New York Times article, and people would write in about their issues, and then she would put it up out to, like, her audience.
Khalyla Kuhn
She would crowdsource it.
Heather McMahon
Crowdsource it. And then they would figure out, like, that's great.
Khalyla Kuhn
Yep. And they would help, like, little kids with, like, my kid. My daughter is 3, and she has, like, 200 seizures a day.
Heather McMahon
Yeah.
Khalyla Kuhn
And she would crowdsource it and be like, hey, like, what do you guys give me your best guesses? And then they would narrow it down and figure out and help families that way.
Annie Lederman
But it's frustrating to me that that's what's necessary to diagnose someone, a crowd, source of 200 strangers, for something very rare.
Khalyla Kuhn
It makes sense because there isn't a lot of literature to imagine if it was, like, only three people in the world had it. Like, you don't have a specific doctor for that one thing. So you would almost have to find another family who has that same thing and what they've done and sort of work together.
Annie Lederman
I will say the pit is giving me more faith in doctors because it's like, oh, they do know stuff. Because I feel like my experience with.
Heather McMahon
Doctors, they knew a few things is.
Annie Lederman
Usually like, they're just guessing. Like, they're Googling. Like, they don't. They just act so fucking dumb around me. But what I'm seeing on the TV version, like, okay, maybe they do care. Like, maybe they did study and memorize a few things. But my doctors never.
Jules
I don't.
Annie Lederman
They're. They don't. They don't like me. They don't like you, and I don't like them. It's mutual.
Heather McMahon
So I Go in with a boner. I'm like, I have a short. My buddy is a cardiologist. Like, Heather, you do the research. And I'm not a type A, but I've had. I've had so many medical mysteries myself that I, like, have a short. White coat is what they call it. They're like, you could literally be a doctor. I mean, I could look at you. You could tell me your three ailments. I'm like, let's go. I know exactly what you have. Well, I want to give you smell. I can smell it. Let me get a whiff of that breath. And I'm like, you got a kidney stone. Swear to God.
Khalyla Kuhn
Wait, you're like that woman who can smell Parkinson's on people.
Heather McMahon
Oh, I. Yeah, I'll tell you. Yeah, I can smell sixth sense. I swear to God. I had no variances rupture on an airplane, and I had no variant torch. Like. Like, my ovary flipped upside down, and the cyst exploded on an international flight. And after that happened, and I had been, like, misdiagnosed, like, twice by my. One of my doctors is like this. I'm gonna figure it out. So now I'm like, I know what's going on. You got any ailments? You got anything you want to talk about?
Khalyla Kuhn
She's constipated. Medically.
Heather McMahon
I'll tell you what you got to get. Dude, change my life. All right? They're on TikTok. I thought it was bullshit. You got to get one of those vibrating lymphatic plates. Have you seen those?
Khalyla Kuhn
Yeah, yeah.
Heather McMahon
I literally was like, this is bullshit. I got one, dude. And people have warned me. They're like, if you get on one of those, you're gonna shit for three days. Wildest shit in my life. If you have problems shitting, you need to take papaya. You need to get on that. You need to do some armor colostrum. I swear to God, not sponsored. That shit works. And you need to get on that vibration plate for 20 minutes, and you will be shit in a meeting.
Khalyla Kuhn
What did I tell you about papaya? She doesn't like papaya.
Jules
I just hate fruits.
Heather McMahon
You can take the seeds. You just need the enzymes. You don't have to eat it. Yeah, yeah. Who hates fruit? Do you? Vegetables?
Jules
No.
Heather McMahon
So what do you eat?
Jules
Matcha coffee.
Heather McMahon
Just matcha.
Jules
But matcha makes me shit, too. Like, I take it every morning, and then it makes me shit.
Heather McMahon
So when are you not shitting?
Jules
I just shit once a week. Oh, once a week. But recently, I've been drinking matcha a lot, so it makes me shit like, two times a week or three times a week.
Heather McMahon
Okay, so this is interesting. It's always the thin people that are not shitting, because I go to my doctor, my functional medicine, they're like, how's your gut? And I'm like, my gut's fantastic. I'm great. It's always my thinnest friends who don't shit for, like, two weeks. I don't know what's going on with that because you hide it well. No one would know you were constipated.
Annie Lederman
What do you eat for food? Like, what'd you have for dinner yesterday?
Jules
Dinner yesterday. Wing wings.
Annie Lederman
What is it?
Heather McMahon
That should clear you out.
Annie Lederman
Why were you at Wingstop? It's the best. Really?
Jules
It's so good. The garlic Parmesan.
Khalyla Kuhn
Honestly, at 23, I was eating batteries and, like, yeah, I was living a big life. Did you eat the celery that came with it or.
Jules
No, I don't order it.
Esther Povitsky
No, of course not.
Heather McMahon
So it's your last day on earth. Your death meal. What are you eating?
Jules
I want pizza. Cheesecake.
Heather McMahon
Oh, yeah.
Annie Lederman
What flavor cheesecake?
Jules
Just plain.
Annie Lederman
Plain?
Jules
Yeah, plain. I don't know. Pancit.
Annie Lederman
What's that?
Khalyla Kuhn
It's like a Filipino chow mein. It's like our noodles. Oh, yeah.
Heather McMahon
What kind of meats in it?
Khalyla Kuhn
There's just liver. Sometimes they throw liver in there.
Jules
Yeah, liver.
Heather McMahon
Wow. Excited to try? Definitely.
Jules
Yeah, I do want to try matcha.
Heather McMahon
Okay.
Jules
Matcha cheesecake. I like that.
Khalyla Kuhn
Oh, fuck it. Making matcha pan set, too.
Jules
Okay.
Heather McMahon
Matcha.
Jules
Matcha out of the bucket.
Khalyla Kuhn
Just throw matcha all over it.
Annie Lederman
Why is matcha, like, taking over the world?
Khalyla Kuhn
I feel left off. I learned something new today about matcha. It actually inhibits iron absorption. So all these hot girls with matcha are gonna go bald soon.
Heather McMahon
Fuck, yes. It's about fucking time. Cause I'm down in Nutrafol like a bitch, and I don't fuck with matcha. I had a matcha from Alfred's, and I thought my heart was gonna go explode. And then the barista, I was like, dude, I feel cracked out. My friend was like, yeah, it has way more caffeine, I guess, than coffee. And if you're a regular coffee drinker, we're used to, like, how the coffee high hits. But matcha, like, is steady all day. Like, you feel like you took a five ance.
Jules
So, yeah. But with me, I can drink matcha and I can sleep after, like, five minutes.
Khalyla Kuhn
Because you're overloaded.
Heather McMahon
Yeah.
Jules
Yeah, yeah.
Khalyla Kuhn
And you have no more iron, so you're passing away.
Jules
That's probably why I'm also really dead.
Khalyla Kuhn
Are you drinking water? No. She also does not drink water.
Jules
A little bit.
Heather McMahon
Isn't that wild? In our youth, we just did.
Annie Lederman
I know. I just want to be young so bad. Not for the looks. I just want to abuse my body.
Heather McMahon
I would. I would live off, like, one blue Powerade a week at college because I was so hungover, and I would eat fried food at my sorority house, and I had never looked better. Like, what happened?
Khalyla Kuhn
Being in a sorority is so foreign to me.
Heather McMahon
I hear you.
Khalyla Kuhn
What's that like?
Heather McMahon
So it's very interesting. And I went to a very southern school. I went to the University of Mississippi. So I want you to think, like, peak sorority. I had a wonderfully positive experience. You know, they made that documentary that was, like, showing how. What was it on hbo? How, like, evil the Alabama sorority girls are. Maybe at Alabama, it's a totally different situation. I fucking thrived. I showed up at this house, and we were the home chapter. So I was a Delta Gamma. Delta Gamma was founded at the University of Mississippi. So it was like, how the fuck I got in? I don't know. And I was not from Mississippi, so the fact that they let a girl from Georgia in was, like, a big fucking deal. And they gave me gifts. I had all these new friends. We did philanthropy. We would party our asses off. It was the fucking best. It was just like, we lived in this giant house on campus. I truly had a great experience. So when I hear horror stories, I'm like, that did not happen. I was never hazed. I wouldn't let any. I would have never joined a club. If somebody was, like, going to with me, I would have been like, you. That's not happening.
Annie Lederman
Did you make, like, friends for life? Like, oh, yeah.
Heather McMahon
In the bonds? Yeah, absolutely. Anchor up. Oh, yeah. My girls are, like, my best friends forever.
Annie Lederman
Do you have, like, a big group text?
Heather McMahon
Yeah, we have a big group text. I was just on the COVID of the national. This is so embarrassing. It's called the anora because Delta Gamma, the anchor is our symbol. So they put me on, like, the national magazine, and my girls were so happy for my home chapter. They're like, girl, we just got your face in the mail. You've done a lot of cool things. You played Radio City, but you're on the COVID of the sorority. National magazine. Like, that was the biggest thing I've ever accomplished.
Khalyla Kuhn
I was also in a sorority, and it taught Me. Wow. It doesn't show.
Annie Lederman
Yeah. How stellar.
Khalyla Kuhn
Really? This is shocking to me.
Heather McMahon
Where were you in a sorority?
Khalyla Kuhn
I was in a sorority at the College of Worcester in Ohio. It was not a legal sorority, and I was hazed.
Heather McMahon
The guys in the fraternity would get hazed, and all my buddies. There was one fraternity that has gotten kicked off campus a billion times where I remember being like, this is stupid. Why are you in this? It truly was a totally different experience for the girls. I don't. Like, I. Everyone thinks I'm lying. I'm like, no, I cannot tell you. I was given gifts. We had the best time. I mean, yeah, there was, like, caddy drama and bullshit, but, like, you know, if I wanted to smoke a cigarette at a bar, I had to sit down and cross my legs, you know, because I'm a lady. But other than that, it was a fucking blast. I mean, honestly, my retirement plan is to go back and be like, the house mom, like, if you know what I mean. I would love that, because I have a house in Mississippi in the. In my college town. I would go back, live in the Delta Gamma house, teach the women, like, the ways of the world, you know?
Khalyla Kuhn
Wait, is it true you live in your childhood home?
Heather McMahon
I do. I live in my childhood home.
Khalyla Kuhn
Your dream master.
Heather McMahon
But it's a lot like, I live in my childhood home. My mom lives with us, we live with her. However you want to splice it. And it's amazing. Don't get me wrong. It's awesome. But I'm at the point where I might have a baby soon, and I'm like, I think I need my own space. And then have my mom right down the street.
Khalyla Kuhn
As someone who just had a baby, I wish my mom lived in the same room as me. Yeah, I thought, oh, for sure. Like, I would want my own space. But I need her so badly, and we don't even get along that well. Like, we fight. It's like this. I tell Jules all the time. It's SummerSlam.
Heather McMahon
Yeah.
Khalyla Kuhn
Like, we're constantly arguing and fighting, but I can't. Like, I need her so close because I need so much help.
Heather McMahon
Yeah.
Khalyla Kuhn
How do you do this?
Heather McMahon
You know, my thing is right now is my mom is still treating me like I'm a 13 year old. So, like, I walk in and, like, you know, she's like, your shit's in a basket by the stairs. Figure it out. Take your up. Like that kind of stuff. Where I. I finally dawned on me it doesn't matter, like, what I. How much I'm A tour or whatever. I'm. As soon as I walk back into the house, because it's really like, our childhood home that I am. She reverts back to talking to me like I'm a high schooler, and we have a beautiful relationship. And my husband's such a dream. And my mom's from Boston, and he's from New York, so they have their own, like, Yankee language that they speak. And I'm over here, like, why y' all screaming in the kitchen? You know? But I'm at a moment where I'm like, I need. I might need a crash pad. That's just. I also kind of just want to have my own apartment that, like, nobody knows about, where I'm just, you know, my Frenchies are there. I'm there. Nobody can bother me.
Khalyla Kuhn
Is Kermit there or.
Heather McMahon
No, Kermit is absolutely there. We're fucking like. I honestly just think I need my own decompression.
Khalyla Kuhn
Yeah.
Heather McMahon
Crash pad. That's what I need.
Khalyla Kuhn
Do what you will with the bananas.
Heather McMahon
It's just a thing to do. I like it.
Khalyla Kuhn
Okay.
Heather McMahon
I mean, we. You eat them?
Khalyla Kuhn
Yeah, we eat them.
Heather McMahon
Great. Somebody eventually, like, like, take a still shot of me eating this and then superimpose their dick through AI and then send that to my DMs all day. Hold on, let me just get a still shot.
Khalyla Kuhn
We also wanted to do a Coke test to see if you guys could tell the difference between.
Heather McMahon
I would love to do that. This is also good for keeping you regular. Bananas are high in potassium, magnesium, and selenium. And you should eat more of these. But you don't like it.
Jules
It's okay. I'm just eating it because I haven't had breakfast.
Heather McMahon
Yeah, but this is not a great thing just to have for breakfast. You gotta have some fat or protein with it or your blood sugar will spike.
Annie Lederman
Yeah. If you guys served me a little bit of peanut butter with my banana, I would be more inclined to eat it.
Khalyla Kuhn
Question about peanuts. What number one. They bloat me. I love peanuts. They've never been kind to my belly. Never. And why are they everywhere? They're not. They're not that great for you.
Annie Lederman
You don't think peanut butter is delicious? No.
Heather McMahon
Would you go like, a cashew nut butter over a peanut? I will say peanuts are probably, and as a Georgia girl, the lowest on the totem pole when it comes to the nut hierarchy.
Annie Lederman
Right.
Heather McMahon
I would say you go salted cashew pecan.
Khalyla Kuhn
Pecan, pecan.
Heather McMahon
Salted pecan. Nothing better.
Khalyla Kuhn
Nothing better.
Heather McMahon
Maybe a Hazelnut. After that, a Brazilian nut, and then peanut.
Annie Lederman
I think cashew is my favorite nut. But when it comes to butters, it's peanut butter. It's like the gold standard. It's so good.
Heather McMahon
What's your brand?
Annie Lederman
Thank you for asking. Santa Cruz Organic Dark Roasted Creamy. And don't get the one that says no stir. Okay. It looks really similar. Don't get it.
Khalyla Kuhn
What's the one that's similar in Walmart?
Annie Lederman
Smuckers Organic Dark Roasted Creamy is actually the same peanut butter as the Santa Cruz Organic, because it's like, they're owned by the same company, so it's, like, literally from the same vat but in different labels. Thank you for asking.
Khalyla Kuhn
Thank you.
Annie Lederman
Do you.
Khalyla Kuhn
Could you eat a jar of peanut butter with a spoon?
Heather McMahon
I could.
Annie Lederman
If it's jif, I could eat the whole jar in 30 seconds. Jif is like toxic poison. It's like heroin crack.
Heather McMahon
Because it's just sugar.
Annie Lederman
It's sugar peanut butter. It's the perfect. It's like a mousse consistency. It's like gelato. It's so good, but just regular. Like the healthy kind that I try to stick to religiously. No, it would be too. It's, like, too dry and it's. But jif, like, my mouth is watering. Like, that's. There's. When I first moved to LA and, like, had no money and, like, nothing, I would just, like, eat the jif jars because it was, like, so satisfying.
Heather McMahon
Did you ever do, like, fluffernutter sandwiches with the fluffernutters? Fluffernutters. It's. You do the marshmallow cream that comes in the jar, and then you do with, like, a crunchy peanut butter on some bread. Like, I. Like a PB and J, but a fluffernutter is, like, my thing.
Annie Lederman
That's, like, better, I feel, than, like, a fancy restaurant's dessert menu.
Heather McMahon
Couldn't agree more. Yeah, a creme brulee. Have a fluffer nutter.
Annie Lederman
Yeah, that sounds.
Khalyla Kuhn
Have you ever had fluff? No, I. That's the first time I've ever heard it.
Heather McMahon
It's delicious. It's just.
Khalyla Kuhn
It sounds delicious.
Heather McMahon
Like, whipped marshmallows. Wow.
Annie Lederman
Yeah, I saw that. McDonald's has a S' Mores McFlurry. I'm really wondering what they're using for their marshmallow. I need to find out. Looks, so I love s', mores, so. And I love McFlurries.
Heather McMahon
I love McFlurries, but I mean, not even to, like, be hacky with the joke, but Truly, I've never been able to go to a McDonald's and then them have the, the, the machine working. It's like every time you go, they're like, it's down.
Annie Lederman
You need to go with me because it's always working for me.
Heather McMahon
Okay, great. Well then. And I. I feel like, you know the prime places in LA to get a McFlurry.
Khalyla Kuhn
Heather, what's your McDonald's order?
Heather McMahon
So I really don't like McDonald's. I know this is crazy. I will do fries and a giant Diet Coke. I will say that McDonald's does have the crispest Diet Coke. And if you're really hungover, get a McDonald's Sprite. But my go to is like a. If I'm really hungover, I'll do a Wendy. I'm more of a Wendy's girl. I like a Wendy's Frosty. And you sit in the shower and you let the water run over you and you eat the Frosty in the shower. And then afterwards you have the nice fresh sea salt fries from Wendy's and maybe the spice chicken sandwich. But I also, I'm in Atlanta, so I'm a chick. Fil a ride or die. That's me. I'm a.
Khalyla Kuhn
What do you do Sundays?
Annie Lederman
She goes to church.
Heather McMahon
I go to church. I talk to the Lord. I say I'm sorry. But then Monday morning I'm back at it with that chicken biscuit.
Annie Lederman
Jules, do you eat fast food?
Jules
Oh, my God. It's my thing.
Annie Lederman
What do you get where.
Jules
I always just go to McDonald's though. I just get the 20 piece chicken nuggets.
Annie Lederman
That's my fucking girl.
Jules
Oreo McFlurry, large fries and a spicy chicken sandwich.
Heather McMahon
I love you.
Annie Lederman
What sauce are you getting with your nuggets?
Jules
I just do ranch.
Annie Lederman
You don't do sweet and sour?
Jules
I don't do. I don't.
Khalyla Kuhn
She's Asian. We know better.
Annie Lederman
What do you mean you guys know better?
Khalyla Kuhn
Sweet and sour from McDonald's, ain't it?
Heather McMahon
What?
Annie Lederman
I disagree.
Khalyla Kuhn
We have our own sweet and sour that actually hits.
Annie Lederman
What is it? Chick fil. A Polynesian.
Khalyla Kuhn
Not that either, but you know, that one's not bad.
Heather McMahon
That does hit.
Khalyla Kuhn
Yeah. That does hit. Yeah.
Annie Lederman
This is an ad by Betterhelp. We here at Trash Tuesday.
Khalyla Kuhn
We're cuckoo.
Jules
Cuckoo.
Khalyla Kuhn
Proud to be.
Annie Lederman
It's cute to be cuckoo.
Khalyla Kuhn
It's cute. Only if you're getting the help you need. Absolutely. You cannot be cuckoo without the help.
Annie Lederman
Not around me.
Khalyla Kuhn
Not around me.
Annie Lederman
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I also love their Journal feature. I love how convenient it is. I love that I don't have to drive and look for parking. Therapy at my fingertips I need your.
Annie Lederman
This is just reminding me that I need to see my therapist.
Khalyla Kuhn
This week I just saw mine.
Annie Lederman
Lucky I could see the post therapy.
Khalyla Kuhn
Glow on your skin. I am not doing well.
Annie Lederman
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Khalyla Kuhn
TrashTuesday I don't know if you know this about me, but every single room in my house has a Helix mattress.
Annie Lederman
I actually know because you don't shut up about it.
Khalyla Kuhn
Everything is Helix. I spend one third of my life asleep, and I love sleep. People are like, oh, sleep when you die. No, not me. I love sleep. I love to dream, I love to rest. And I love to rest on Helix.
Annie Lederman
You're lying through your teeth. You definitely spend two thirds of your life in bed, not one third.
Khalyla Kuhn
Correct. I as an official bedrotter, I need soft things on my body. I need supportive things on my body. Helix is the only thing that does it.
Annie Lederman
I love Helix so much. Like my sister recently was like, I need a new, new mattress. I was like, I've done the research. I figured it out for you. Congratulations. You need a Helix. And she loves it. My Helix mattresses, they're unlike anything else. They give me the best sleep.
Khalyla Kuhn
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Esther Povitsky
There are three things I always consider and I prioritize when purchasing anything that touches my skin and that is, is it comfortable, is it supportive? And do I feel cute in it? And before Skims, like underwear was sort of just this afterthought. What I actually wear under my shirt, under my jeans really sort of like dictates and defines how I feel about myself for the rest of the day. Life hack, if you want to feel cute outside of what you're wearing, make sure that you're choosing comfortable underwear that you still feel cute in. Take my word for it. The scoop Bralette from the Fits Everybody collection. It is so flattering, so supportive, so cute. Go get you a couple colors. I have them in all colors and I swear by them and you will too. Shop my favorite bras and underwear@skims.com and after you place your order, be sure to let them know we sent you. You can select podcast in the survey and be sure to select our show Trash Tuesday in the drop down menu that follows. This podcast is sponsored by Skims. There are three things I always consider and I prioritize when purchasing anything that touches my skin. And that is, is it comfortable, Is it supportive? And do I feel cute in it? And before skims, like underwear was sort of just this afterthought. What I actually wear under my shirt, under my jeans really sort of like dictates and defines how I feel about myself for the rest of the day. Life hack, if you want to feel cute outside of what you're wearing, make sure that you're choosing comfortable underwear that you still feel cute in. Take my word for it, the scoop Bralette from the Fits Everybody collection. It is so flattering, so supportive, so cute. Go get you a couple colors. I have them in all colors and I swear by them and you will too. Shop my favorite bras and underwear@skims.com and after you place your order, be sure to let them know we sent you. You can select podcast in the survey and be sure to select our show Trash Tuesday in the drop down menu that follows.
Khalyla Kuhn
Guys, we're gonna do a quick taste test. So these are different types of Cokes.
Heather McMahon
Okay.
Khalyla Kuhn
And we're gonna see.
Annie Lederman
I think it's caffeinated.
Khalyla Kuhn
I can't have caffeine.
Heather McMahon
Give all the drinks to me. I will taste them. Jesus Christ. This crew. Okay, now is it just out of Coke and diet Cokes?
Khalyla Kuhn
You know what?
Heather McMahon
Okay, well here's the problem. They're room temp, they're not cold. So that hits different. That is a Coke Zero.
Khalyla Kuhn
Oh, let me try. I don't even know.
Heather McMahon
But that's not Diet Coke. That's Coke Zero. I guarantee it. Put my firstborn's life on it.
Khalyla Kuhn
Yeah, that's terrible. I'm gonna go with Coke Zero.
Heather McMahon
They really scurried out of the room. They're panicked about it. She's like, I actually poured it, and I don't remember what I poured. Was that right?
Khalyla Kuhn
Add ice. Add ice. Yes, it was. It was Coke Zero.
Heather McMahon
Coke Zero, Yeah.
Khalyla Kuhn
Yeah.
Heather McMahon
Now, if you would have lined up different Cokes from different fast food, like. Like, to me, a Wendy's, it tastes different than this and that. And I. Yeah, really?
Khalyla Kuhn
And is it the carbonation level and just how it dispensed everything?
Heather McMahon
Yeah, truly. And, like, when I'm at a Chick Fil A, I'm getting a diet Dr. Pepper. I'm not even with the Diet Coke. Like, diet Dr. Pepper and a spicy Chick Fil A sandwich with the Polynesian. I don't know. It's a flavor profile that really gets me.
Annie Lederman
The thing about diet Dr. Pepper, I will say I feel like that is the diet version that most. Most matches its regular version.
Heather McMahon
Fully agree with you.
Annie Lederman
That is like they've. They're on a different level than the rest and they don't get talked about enough.
Heather McMahon
And I won't do a Pepsi. If I go to a place and I say, you know, you got a Diet Coke? And they say, we have Pepsi products. What are we doing here? I literally. I say, what are we doing here, sir?
Annie Lederman
You're like, have a seat.
Heather McMahon
No, I kindly just say, I'll have an unsweet iced tea. Thank you. You know, and then dirty martini, because I'm stressed.
Khalyla Kuhn
So. Do you like sweet tea?
Heather McMahon
No, I drank.
Annie Lederman
That was racist, Stella.
Heather McMahon
That was so.
Khalyla Kuhn
Okay, so I'm obsessed with sweet tea. So I'm just trying to find a friend.
Heather McMahon
No, I. Listen, I can't. You know, I can't get my rings off anyways, so I definitely. After having two neck jobs, I definitely don't need sweet tea. But in college, I would drink gallons of sweet tea, and I didn't understand why. I put on, like, the freshman 75. You know, I came home at, like, Thanksgiving break, and my mom was like, what happened to you? I was just drinking sweet tea in Mississippi.
Khalyla Kuhn
Oh. The same thing happened to me. But the reason for my freshman 75.
Annie Lederman
Oh, they got ice.
Heather McMahon
It wasn't bullying you. I'm sorry. It didn't have to be cold Diet Coke.
Khalyla Kuhn
God, you know, it tastes to me because I haven't had it in so long. Coke Zero and Diet Coke taste the same.
Heather McMahon
Well, I'll tell you what, though. Even actually cold, but in this paper cup, that's awful. I wouldn't drink it. It wouldn't be worth it to drink it out of a paper cup. Like, freshly iced. You know, they added the ice and it was warm. The Diet Coke has to be cold in the fridge and then put in it. Can't. You can't then take a room temp Diet Coke and then put ice in it. That's trash. I will drink out of the mini cans. You'll never see me with a regular full size can. That's just. At that point, I might as well start doing meth. Like, what are we doing? But I really. And you'll never see me in a plastic bottle.
Jules
Tito Bobby has the large one.
Heather McMahon
Oh, really?
Annie Lederman
Yeah, the bottle really, like, the two liter. Like, for a pizza party.
Heather McMahon
After, like, three minutes, that thing is, like, flat.
Annie Lederman
I know.
Heather McMahon
Wow.
Khalyla Kuhn
Okay, so the reason I got freshman 75 was because I love finding out what people got fat biscuits here. Gravy here from the Philippines. Immigrant didn't know that gravy goes with biscuits. Ate the gravy as thought it was the best soup I had ever eaten.
Heather McMahon
Like, it was a chicken noodle.
Khalyla Kuhn
Every day, a big bowl of gravy. I was like, whatever chowder this is, they're serving in the cafeteria at unlv. The greatest thing I've ever tasted.
Heather McMahon
And I would. You were consuming, like, 10,000 calories a morning.
Khalyla Kuhn
Yes. If it wasn't for the fact that I was on a full scholarship and an athlete, I would have gotten the freshman 150 instead of the 75.
Annie Lederman
I will say the access to food you get in college, because I also gained 30 pounds in college. Like, it's just crazy. You can just constantly go to, like, a little dining hall and get Max out on cookies, ice cream. Like, you could ask Jenna. Like, I really. Like, I was a crack addict for those places.
Heather McMahon
What college did you go to?
Annie Lederman
I went to University of Illinois. Urbana Champaign.
Heather McMahon
Yeah. Party school.
Annie Lederman
Yeah, I guess so. I mean, I wasn't included in those. But yeah, around me, that was happening.
Heather McMahon
We had fried Fridays at our sorority house because they all knew that we had date parties on Thursday nights, so they knew that we were super hungover. So you'd walk into the sorority house and it was just like a buffet of, like, tater tots, French fries, fried catfish, fried chicken, tender hush puppies, anything fried. And so every Friday you'd be there. You know, they'd be putting out the trays, and I'd have the shakes and be like, I need, you know, give me the hit. Yeah, yeah. We had a froyo machine in the house.
Khalyla Kuhn
Wow.
Jules
Yeah.
Heather McMahon
I would just kind of put the neck under and crank it it was awesome. And then I wondered why things started to get tight, you know, there. I mean, truly.
Annie Lederman
Jules, what did you think of the drink?
Jules
I think this is Diet Coke. And then the other ones, I don't know about those. Those ones, it felt spicy.
Khalyla Kuhn
The second one was Diet Coke. You said. You know what I'm saying. You're. You're saying the second one you drank was diet?
Jules
No, the first one that Ellie gave me.
Khalyla Kuhn
Oh, not. You didn't think it was Coke Zero?
Jules
I don't think so.
Annie Lederman
Okay, what's this newest one?
Heather McMahon
Coke.
Khalyla Kuhn
Regular Coke.
Jules
Oh, okay.
Khalyla Kuhn
Okay. So this kind of was a fail. But I will say you. The quickness in which you knew it was impressive.
Heather McMahon
Thank you so much. I appreciate that. I'm putting that on my resume.
Khalyla Kuhn
And his mechanism, Mexican Coke. Really better.
Heather McMahon
It's so good because it has real cane sugar. I'm telling you, that is. That's a cure all for a hangover is a real Mexican Coke. It. It just hits different. It. Talk about spicy. Whoo. That thing's spicy in a good, delicious way. It's got, like, the perfect carbonation, and it comes in the glass bottle. So, like, it's cold. You can put it on your head. I keep saying things that cure hangovers. Like, I'm a heavy drinker, but it was at one point, you know, but, man, that hits. Or, like, if you have an upset tummy, you should always have, like, two Mexican Cokes in the fridge and, like, a really good old school ginger ale. And I think that can pretty much cure anything.
Annie Lederman
Do you believe, like, what they say about how at certain fast food restaurants, like McDonald's, where they give more syrup, for sure.
Heather McMahon
And they say that McDonald's, they, like, dip the fries in, like, extra gluten and shit. Like, yeah, I'm sure there's all sorts of addictive tricks to the trade that a McDonald's Coke tastes different.
Annie Lederman
I think it's, like, proven now, right?
Heather McMahon
And when you're from Atlanta, because it's the home of Coke. Coca Cola. So we go to a restaurant and say, like, I like a Coke. And they're like, what kind of Coke? And you're like, a Sprite. Like, everything's Coke.
Khalyla Kuhn
Wait, does that make sense?
Annie Lederman
Wait, what?
Heather McMahon
But if it's like, a Diet Coke, I'll be like, can I get a Diet Coke? But usually, like, God, I really want a Coke. And like, okay, but I want a Sprite. Like, it's. It's kind of like our weird thing. Somebody on the Internet's gonna argue with me about that, but suck my dick, okay? I've been to the world of coke. I know. I know the family. But I'm also a real big. Like, I love a spin drift. Holy wow.
Khalyla Kuhn
Caroline was eating.
Annie Lederman
I know our friend Caroline Goldfarb.
Khalyla Kuhn
She's a Wendy's girl and a spindrift girl.
Heather McMahon
Spindrift. Well, if you've ever had a blood orange spindrift. Oh, my God, talk about luxury.
Khalyla Kuhn
Is it better than, like, Orange Bang?
Heather McMahon
Yeah, well, it's different because Orange Bang has, like, sugar.
Khalyla Kuhn
Yeah.
Heather McMahon
This is fresh. It's a nice, fresh fruit juice. It's just a little sweet. About 15 calories a can. And then if you like selling such a fat ass. Everything I'm talking about. Not at all. If you. I'm just a good at Consumer Reports. If you like cream soda, like, I was a cream soda kid. The Olipop cream soda.
Khalyla Kuhn
That one is good.
Heather McMahon
That blows your tits off. I have, like, one a week, and that's my treat.
Jules
You don't like poppy?
Heather McMahon
I love poppy, but poppy doesn't have a cream soda flavor.
Khalyla Kuhn
They don't.
Heather McMahon
They came out with a specialty thing. Big poppy girl as well. But that specific cream soda one is. It'll change your life.
Annie Lederman
I think all the Olipop knockoffs, like the Sprite, etc, like, I think they're all good.
Heather McMahon
They are all good vintage. And poppy has their better original flavor flavors.
Jules
You know what I mean?
Annie Lederman
Yeah, Yeah. I like raspberry rose.
Heather McMahon
Me too. Delicious.
Khalyla Kuhn
Now, are we liking Lacroix still or.
Heather McMahon
Yeah, I do. A Lacroix for sure. Yeah. I love all the flavors, but I can't really differentiate between the pompalamous and the. You know, I like the limoncello. Actually, a limoncello and a spritz is quite nice. Here's the thing. If y' all start throwing food at me, I could do this for seven and a half hours. This is my, like, jam. This is how, you know, the weight fluctuates, you know, like, it's like the most boring conversation. But, like, ask me about French fries.
Khalyla Kuhn
I'll tell you what I feel in bold letters here. Yeah, it's in bold. It says, ask Heather about the times her pubes popped out of her leggings. What?
Heather McMahon
So I don't know. I used to be a big Brazilian girl, you know, went full bald. And then when I got married, my husband likes a full kitty. You know what I mean? He doesn't like it bare.
Khalyla Kuhn
A real man.
Heather McMahon
A real man. It creeps him out. So you know, I just live, laugh, lovin', whatever. And I was running around, and I guess I had had like a, you know, an older pair of lulus. And I got in the car, I'd run 100 errands that day. And I had a crossbody purse like this, you know, and it was sitting across my body, and I reached down to grab something at bank of America, and I could feel it. I could feel a little prickle. And I looked down and I said, my God, my bush is through my pants. It was like a prickle. And I had a nice layer of skims thongs in between it. And it's not wild down there. It's not untamed. And I said, my God, I've been walking around with a bush outside my pants all day. Nobody stop me. And that's when you know you've hit the spot of your Lululemon leggings, where you go, these have gotta go. Yeah.
Khalyla Kuhn
This is where I have a little bit of sadness because I was that Brazilian girly, and I got to the point of getting so many Brazilians that I no longer grow pubes up here. And then I started dating a real man, and he's like, what is that?
Heather McMahon
Yeah.
Annie Lederman
Are you gonna wear a little wig?
Khalyla Kuhn
Yeah, I'd like to. I call it a muff.
Annie Lederman
Yeah.
Heather McMahon
Yeah. I think you.
Khalyla Kuhn
They sell those.
Annie Lederman
It's like a thing that's used in movies and stuff. What's. Yeah. What is it called? A pubic wig.
Heather McMahon
Maybe a muff, I think, or that might be slang. I don't know. That might be, like what you call a marginalized group. I don't know. Worried about that. I said it so quickly that I'm like, I don't. That it didn't feel right.
Annie Lederman
It's a merkin.
Heather McMahon
Merkin, yes. What's a muff? Can you Google that in just in case we gotta bleep it out because.
Khalyla Kuhn
It'S muff diving, so.
Heather McMahon
Diving. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Annie Lederman
If you need hair for your merkin, I can donate some.
Khalyla Kuhn
I know you can, but you have exceptional pubes, and I would never want to take away.
Annie Lederman
That is such a weird take to have. They're not ex. They're just a wildfire wild forest.
Khalyla Kuhn
You know how they're classic beauties in the world? There are prototypes that you're like, that is a evergreen beauty. She's pretty. Through all decades and all ages. Your pubes are that to me, when I look at that, I'm like, that is a classic pube. It's just uniform.
Annie Lederman
And pretty even as low as it goes to my knees.
Khalyla Kuhn
To your knees? Yeah.
Jules
Oh, you don't trim it?
Annie Lederman
No. Why do I have to?
Jules
So it's like long. Long, like.
Annie Lederman
Well, no, it's not like beard.
Heather McMahon
Like, it just.
Khalyla Kuhn
It's not.
Annie Lederman
It's not like the hairs are long. It's that the hairs grow down the leg.
Khalyla Kuhn
You know.
Heather McMahon
I felt it. Oh.
Annie Lederman
Like, I have pubes here, and I have pubes here as well. Their own pubes.
Khalyla Kuhn
They just keep going. The pubes connect with the leg hairs.
Heather McMahon
Got it?
Annie Lederman
Sort of. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Khalyla Kuhn
I have some strays on the sides. I get it. I have a question going back to. What do you mean by real men? Like, pubes? Asking for a friend. I feel like it's a red flag if a guy is terrified of pubes. I feel like a real man likes all kinds. Whatever he's presented with, he's happy with. If a guy's like, I would rather you get it trimmed before I go down there. He doesn't like pussy.
Heather McMahon
Yeah. Get the fuck out of here. I don't have time for that. Yeah. Cause you know what? I also don't want him to have a bald penis. That's weird. Trim it. Keep it nice. We're all here to make sure we're putting our best foot forward. But I don't also want there to be nothing. And then they're just a weird dong. I don't want that.
Khalyla Kuhn
I think it is the weirdest look. Isn't it scary?
Heather McMahon
It's scary. That's. No one's talking about the fear. I don't know why I'm doing this. I'm like, I'm so scary. It's already scary. Doing sexual things. I don't then need it. Just smooth and loose and everywhere.
Khalyla Kuhn
Oh, that's so creepy. A shaved dong. Like, no hair in that area. What do you mean?
Heather McMahon
I don't want it to be like a micro penis.
Khalyla Kuhn
I've been with one, and I fell in love.
Heather McMahon
Oh, that's sweet.
Khalyla Kuhn
Yeah.
Heather McMahon
Yeah.
Khalyla Kuhn
I know for a fact now. This is how I know I love transcends all. Because I fell in love with a boy, hooked up with him micropene. I mean, micropene. Like, it wasn't an exaggeration.
Heather McMahon
Like a clinical diagnosis of micro penis.
Khalyla Kuhn
Walked out of there. Never been more in love. Love. I was like, I really love this guy, and he didn't choose me.
Heather McMahon
Are you kidding me?
Khalyla Kuhn
No, he didn't.
Heather McMahon
Let's blast him right now. What's up? What's up?
Khalyla Kuhn
Mark is that because he. He knew that he didn't have a penis.
Jules
Big penis.
Khalyla Kuhn
So he made up for other ways. You know what? I think he. He's a. He's a really successful, good looking guy, and he went back to his Ivy League school, and I was sort of the little cholex experiment that he, I think, dated. But I fell in love.
Annie Lederman
And did he know that you're not a chola?
Khalyla Kuhn
At that time? I didn't know I wasn't a chola. So, you know, I went to a predominantly, like, black and Mexican school, straight from the Philippines. The Mexicans took me in as one of their own, so I'm a child of that. So, yeah, I had a lip liner, the hoop earring. So I. I thought it was a chola. So I was his little, like, side project.
Heather McMahon
I've seen one as well. I have seen one. It. I wasn't in love. It was. And it wasn't even a. It was just kind of like, okay. And I knew nothing was gonna happen, you know, when they dropped the pants.
Khalyla Kuhn
Cause I had the opposite. I also almost hooked up with a guy who had such a massive penis, but that wasn't even the problem. You know how they can hook left or right? Yeah, his hooked down. Oh, it was like this.
Heather McMahon
Like the Muppet character with the down nose.
Khalyla Kuhn
So what I said was I gave it a little a very polite, like, Korean bow. I was like, thank you, sir. And then I walked backwards, not giving eye contact, and I left.
Heather McMahon
That's what you have to do.
Khalyla Kuhn
I don't know what to do with that, but thank you. And then I.
Heather McMahon
That was respectful.
Khalyla Kuhn
Yeah. And sent him a text like, hey, you're a beautiful man. Not the ride for me. That's gonna impale me. It's gonna come out my. Burst my eardrum, something.
Annie Lederman
Jules, what do you think of all this?
Jules
I think it's fun. Like, I want to try a dick that goes down.
Khalyla Kuhn
She wants a BBC. Do you know that, right?
Annie Lederman
Yeah.
Jules
Still.
Heather McMahon
What's a BBC?
Khalyla Kuhn
A big black cock.
Heather McMahon
Oh, easy. I don't know why I thought this was gonna be something way more intense. I was just trying to be like, is this a move I haven't heard of? Yeah, it's a big black cock. Okay, great.
Jules
Yeah.
Heather McMahon
Okay. Come on, Heather, get with it.
Jules
Have you tried a lot?
Heather McMahon
Have I tried a lot of big black cocks? Oh, let me tell you what, being from Atlanta, you have no idea. No, no, no. Very open to it. Listen, I went to school in Mississippi. I dated a couple horrible guys. I've had many lovers, but then I found my husband, and we've been together for a really long time. Yeah, I've lived a hundred lives, but, you know, I've been booed up with Jeff for quite some time now.
Khalyla Kuhn
That's so sweet.
Heather McMahon
We love Jeff. Jeff's great. Shout out to Jeff. My husband's name is Jeff Daniels, not to be confused with Jeff Daniels, the actor from Dumb and Dumber in the newsroom. So when we go places, like, we make reservations under his name because people think it's gonna be the actor Jeff Daniels.
Khalyla Kuhn
May I say, though, have you seen a young Jeff Daniels?
Heather McMahon
Handsome, so cute.
Jules
Loved him.
Heather McMahon
And Dumb and Dumber is my favorite.
Khalyla Kuhn
Movie, but even younger with that. That one movie where that woman dies.
Heather McMahon
Or mine looks nothing like that. He's large and Italian, but.
Khalyla Kuhn
Oh, he's Italian?
Heather McMahon
Yeah, he's Italian American, from New York. Like, how'd you guys meet? We actually met in a gay bar. So I was living in Hell's Kitchen, and my best friend at Ole Miss, who now works with me, Tina. Tina grew up, is his best girlfriend from childhood. And after I graduated Mississippi, I moved to New York to do comedy. And we went out with Jeff's, you know, big Italian family. He has two cousins that are gay. They're brothers. And so we all went out one night, and we went to this gay bar, and Jeff walked in, and I didn't even know who he was yet. And I turned to our friend Tina and I said, tina, that's who I'm gonna marry. And she goes, jeff, first of all, we're in a gay bar. How do I know if this guy is straight or not? He walks in, he's so handsome. And she was like, that's the guy. I said, that's who I'm gonna marry. Said it out loud. And he walked over, and the rest is history.
Annie Lederman
Wait, that's crazy.
Heather McMahon
I can't explain it. It was intuition. It was like this feeling. Yeah. And when we look back, we took a photo that night in this big group with all of our friends, and he looked so ill. He looked like he had been going through chemo. His hair was matted. He was pale, almost jaundiced. The sweater was bad. Like, I don't know when I look back what it was that I was like, that's the one. But he. Yeah, he's my bae.
Annie Lederman
You're so much more confident than me. Because when I first saw my husband at a party, I literally go, that guy's so hot. I'm hiding from him. Like, that's my exact real thought. Like, I'm hiding. I don't want to him this man to, like, observe me.
Heather McMahon
So then how did you connect?
Annie Lederman
He was then later at the party, talking to people that I knew, and I was like, all right, he's talking to people I know. Like, I'm gonna just go over there. And like, that was how then, like, they introduced us.
Heather McMahon
Wow.
Annie Lederman
Yeah.
Jules
But.
Heather McMahon
And then how did you know? Did you know immediately that he liked you back? Or were you still trying to, like, feel it out?
Annie Lederman
Totally feeling it out. And then he left without asking for my number or saying bye or anything. And I was like, yeah, okay. But then, like, he found me online the next day, thankfully.
Khalyla Kuhn
Oh.
Annie Lederman
But I was like, I had such a similar thing where I saw him across a room and, like, felt a thing, but mine was not I'm gonna marry him was just like, I want to be with that guy.
Heather McMahon
But I was a little lusty.
Khalyla Kuhn
Yeah, lusty.
Heather McMahon
Well, I cried after my real first date with my husband because he took me to Bryant park to go ice skating. And he was such a gentleman. And then he was like, all right, my dad's picking me up from the date and gave me, like, a kiss because he lived outside the city in Westchester, and literally was just convenient. It was either take the metro north home, or his, like, dad could pick him up. He's like, my dad's getting me mine. And, like, he gave me a sweet kiss on the cheek with such a gentleman. And I think we, like, high fived. I was like, oh, God. Like, another one is just a friend. Whatever. And he was just like, no. I was trying to be really respectful and not be a fucking creep. And it was just convenient that my dad picked me up on the way home. I was like, okay, yeah.
Khalyla Kuhn
Oh, this is sweet. I like this because the guy I'm with now rejected a nude photo from me.
Annie Lederman
What?
Heather McMahon
Couldn't be more respectful? I love him.
Annie Lederman
What do you mean rejected?
Khalyla Kuhn
Rejected. Just straight up rejected.
Heather McMahon
And you try and, like, airdrop it to him, and he declined.
Khalyla Kuhn
He didn't know. It was one of those, like, do you want to see what I'm wearing right now? Kind of type thing. I was, like, flirting, whatever. And it was. The conversation on text was getting there, and he was just like, you know what? Like, no.
Annie Lederman
What?
Khalyla Kuhn
Yeah. His thing was like, I want to build it up in my head. Like, he's very, like, traditional and, like, old school. Like that.
Jules
That's so much better.
Khalyla Kuhn
But I know he had sex on.
Heather McMahon
The Third date, don't get me wrong, but that is respectful.
Khalyla Kuhn
At that moment I was like, ew, you don't want to see my beautiful body.
Heather McMahon
Yeah. Yeah.
Annie Lederman
Were you upset?
Khalyla Kuhn
Yeah, I was. Initially I felt rejected and then I was like, wait, maybe he is that guy. Maybe he just is that way.
Heather McMahon
Did he explain it later? Did you ever bring it up to him?
Khalyla Kuhn
Yeah, he explained it and he was like, that's like the easiest way to get your dopamine. And then what? What then?
Heather McMahon
I mean, let's have an honest conversation here. The porn, I hate to sound like an old lady, it has ruined these young guys.
Khalyla Kuhn
It has.
Heather McMahon
I really don't want to be that person because we all love porn. But at some point I'm like, these. I hear like my younger girlfriends who are trying to date and it's horror stories.
Khalyla Kuhn
Well, I was in a 10 year relationship with a porn addict.
Heather McMahon
Shit.
Khalyla Kuhn
So if I was like pussy agape, sprawled out in bed like this, doing.
Heather McMahon
The thing, just shaking, shaking, shaking, popping.
Khalyla Kuhn
He would be like, no, thanks. And then take the iPad into the bathroom like that. So I get it. It really is its own trauma to be rejected for porn.
Heather McMahon
Porn, yeah.
Annie Lederman
Did that like ruin you?
Khalyla Kuhn
Yes. Honestly, like, I grew a mustache that year. Like, I turned into like a full blown, like cool dude. Like I was like a bro because I, I almost, like, I wanted to stay with him so badly that I almost morphed into like a non. I rejected my sexuality because I'm like, this is not a thing that he wants. So let's just wear basketball shorts around the house and just, you know, butch it up. Yeah, butch it up.
Annie Lederman
Because maybe.
Khalyla Kuhn
No, but it, I really lost a lot of like, just like my sexual, like, nature, my girliness and parts of me that I loved, but I just couldn't. I didn't feel safe expressing anymore because I had felt so like, rejected in that way. And that's probably why you responded to Aloha angrily because you're used to that. And instead he was like, no. And you were like, you don't want to see me because you're used to it. Right?
Heather McMahon
Great point.
Khalyla Kuhn
Yeah. My partner's name is Aloha.
Heather McMahon
I love this.
Jules
Thank you.
Heather McMahon
I love it. Yeah, I mean, that is.
Annie Lederman
He's not white. Don't worry, he's not white.
Heather McMahon
Okay, great. I was wondering if he's like from North Hollywood, birth name Chad, you know, but it's just like, it's Aloha.
Khalyla Kuhn
You know what I mean?
Annie Lederman
Chad.
Heather McMahon
Yeah. And how did you meet him?
Khalyla Kuhn
In Hawaii.
Heather McMahon
Okay.
Khalyla Kuhn
Yeah. Diving.
Heather McMahon
Guess what? On the nose. I like it. Yeah.
Khalyla Kuhn
He's in the ocean doing your things.
Heather McMahon
Yeah, he. He's blowing a horn. You're feeling the vibes. Can I ask you real quick if we go back to the. Not to, like, you know, pivot from the trauma. The.
Annie Lederman
The.
Heather McMahon
The free diving, you also freedive. Yeah, we got it. That is as a. As a full blown water baby. I don't understand the free diving. Are you. What are you freediving for something in particular? Are you just seeing how low you can go?
Khalyla Kuhn
There are people who do it for how low you can go.
Heather McMahon
Okay.
Khalyla Kuhn
And they hold their breath. It's a competition. They go down to the abyss and they. They like that stuff.
Heather McMahon
Okay.
Khalyla Kuhn
We go for. We go shelling. We look at fish, we play mermaids.
Heather McMahon
I would be very interested.
Khalyla Kuhn
I. We. I would love to take you out.
Heather McMahon
Great swimmer. I'm a strong swimmer, so.
Khalyla Kuhn
Great. Even better. You're gonna love it so much. Please, please, please.
Heather McMahon
I will. I. I just went to Hawaii for the first time in a minute. I had the best time. I'm ready to go.
Khalyla Kuhn
Okay. So my partner lives there, so we have a home there. Anytime you're back there, I will both take you out.
Heather McMahon
Yes. Do we have fins on? Do we have anything?
Khalyla Kuhn
Yes, we have fins. We have a snorkel and a mask. But you're going on your own breath, so you're descending on your own breath.
Heather McMahon
I can handle that as long as I'm cleared post. Second neck job. I think I'm good.
Khalyla Kuhn
Yeah, I think. I think so too.
Heather McMahon
Okay, great.
Khalyla Kuhn
Yeah.
Heather McMahon
Awesome. I'm down. I mean, listen. True water, baby. Like, I have to be in the ocean every couple of weeks.
Khalyla Kuhn
I'm so happy.
Heather McMahon
Yeah. I float. I do things.
Annie Lederman
It makes me sad.
Heather McMahon
Yeah. What if maybe we could do a couple lessons, get you comfortable. I just think maybe that you haven't had enough exposure to it.
Khalyla Kuhn
I felt like we got somewhere with our swim lesson that one time.
Annie Lederman
I don't know if we did. Now that I have a. I have a hole in my eardrum. It's, like, too dangerous for me.
Khalyla Kuhn
Oh, that's right.
Heather McMahon
And I'll tell you what. Swimmer's ear, that'll fuck you up. Talk about an episode of the Pit. Wait till they do a swimmer's ear episode. That is. Yeah, that's tough. Do you not. You don't enjoy a pool either? Like, even. Do you soak? At least?
Annie Lederman
In theory I would. In theory.
Heather McMahon
In theory.
Khalyla Kuhn
But weren't you at one point, if.
Annie Lederman
I have A kickboard and earplugs and maybe goggles. And it's really the right temperature.
Heather McMahon
Everywhere it's really the right temperature.
Annie Lederman
Like, I could really have some fun kickboarding around a pool that's in salt water. Like, that's really fun. So I get to have my own experience that way.
Heather McMahon
Shout out to all the eczema warriors out there. But I only have a saltwater pool because that's why I go into the ocean. I got bad eczema. And I'll tell you what, it cures me immediately.
Khalyla Kuhn
I have it real bad right now on my chest and behind my ears. And it is so fucking itchy. I don't know if California weather dryness fucks you up like it does me, but I.
Heather McMahon
Do you get gel nails?
Khalyla Kuhn
No, never there.
Heather McMahon
I was gonna say because I'm allergic to the gel nail. And I had to do. I was literally getting gel nails. And then my eyes and my whole. It would go down my neck. And I did an experiment and was like, quick getting the gel and it can't get.
Annie Lederman
So what do you get now?
Heather McMahon
Just dip. I get that acrylic that really is gonna give you the cancers. So fuck the Diet Cokes. I'm like huffing this in all day.
Annie Lederman
Dip is so thick and hardy.
Heather McMahon
And then they dip it and they stroke it and they set it, and it makes me horny.
Annie Lederman
Same.
Heather McMahon
Yeah.
Khalyla Kuhn
Wait, Jules, didn't you find a new lover in Hawaii?
Annie Lederman
What?
Jules
Yeah, I guess, because I was, like, manifesting summer love. Summer love, Summer love. And then it was like, last week already. And then I met this surfer boy.
Heather McMahon
Here we go.
Jules
But then I'm like, you where? If I see someone hot, I don't talk to them. And I just tried to, like, hide.
Khalyla Kuhn
And her 17 year old sister had to run back and be like, my sister likes you. Can she get your number?
Jules
Yeah. So Issa had to do that. But then I was like, why should I text first? He should be the one. But then he didn't have my number, so I didn't text him. It went a week without any talking. And then I surfed again on Tuesday. And then he was there and he was like, how come you never, like, text me? I was like, oh. I was like, you text me first. And he was like, okay, give me your number.
Khalyla Kuhn
Did he do it right away?
Jules
Yeah.
Annie Lederman
What happened? Tell us. Keep going.
Jules
It was just that. And then he was like, oh, next time, like, you have to text me and I'll take you somewhere. Like, we should go, like, somewhere. And then he Kept, like, high fiving, and he was like, hold my hand so long. I was like, okay, I have a.
Khalyla Kuhn
Real question about this, because she's scared of white penis. I know he's white too, but are you, like, ready to, like, re. Enter the white penis world?
Heather McMahon
I guess you've never been to the white penis world.
Jules
I've been, and I got scared.
Khalyla Kuhn
She ran from white penis world screaming.
Heather McMahon
Don'T go to Europe then. I'm telling you right now, do not. Do not. Those are goofy white penises everywhere.
Jules
I know. It was, like, so pale for me, so I was traumatized for it. But then I guess I'm open because he was so cute. And he's a surfer boy, so.
Heather McMahon
White surfer boys are pretty hot.
Annie Lederman
Did you guys, like, meet up?
Heather McMahon
No, because I.
Jules
We were leaving the next day, so.
Khalyla Kuhn
He was like, oh, but an ldr. A summer long distance.
Heather McMahon
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Annie Lederman
Alana del Rey.
Heather McMahon
Yes.
Khalyla Kuhn
Yes.
Heather McMahon
That's what I would do at surf camp. It was the hot, like. Like white surfer boys, you know, it was a mix.
Jules
And he was so tall too. I've never tried tall boys. So I was like, oh, my God.
Heather McMahon
Oh.
Annie Lederman
So have you texted?
Heather McMahon
Yeah.
Khalyla Kuhn
You still texting?
Heather McMahon
A little bit in Hawaii.
Jules
Yeah.
Heather McMahon
Okay, we gotta go back now. I'm invested. I'm coming. I will be in the sand dune with the binoculars. You gotta live like we. You have to live. Laugh, laugh. You have to go out into the world, do as many dicks as you can in a safe way, consensually. And you need to just do your thing because the rest of us are cheering you on, and we are living vicariously through you.
Khalyla Kuhn
That's what it is, living vicariously. It's over for me. It's over for all of us. So just, like, tell us your stories. Go live it big and then report back.
Heather McMahon
Don't live it small, bitch. Do not.
Jules
Yeah, I'll get all the dicks.
Heather McMahon
Yeah, get all the dicks.
Khalyla Kuhn
Yeah, please.
Heather McMahon
That's good for you. Thank you.
Khalyla Kuhn
Okay, cool. One more thing, though. I wanted to ask you. You and Jeff were long distance for a while.
Heather McMahon
Long time.
Khalyla Kuhn
How were you able to make do that for so long? Was there, like, always a plan at the end being like, okay, yes, great question.
Heather McMahon
And, you know, young gals always DM me and they ask me that, like, oh, my. You know, my boyfriend just got a new job somewhere. Like, what do I do? I think long distance. If it's the right relationship, long distance works. It's not easy. I'll never forget the day I Sat down with Jeff in New York. We had been dating like a year. And I said, I gotta go to la. Like I have to chase the thing. And he, we were sitting at like a Buca di Beppo or something and he's like hysterically crying. He's like, chase your dreams. And I knew I met the right guy. Cause he said, I never wanted to hold you back. And then you resent me. Because I knew we were in it for the long run. And I knew, we knew we were gonna get married like day three. Like, it was like, that's my person, as cheesy as that sounds. I will tell you though, if he gets hit by a bus, I'm going to only black dick. Because black men respect me and love me in a way that other white men don't. It's Jeff and then only black dudes. Okay, So I will just tell you Jeff and Jeff knows. I said in like my prenup, it's like, you know, if you go, I'm gone. So. But yeah, and we just did it. It was not easy. I mean, we spent all, you know, I didn't have a pot to piss in when I was here in la and we spent every last dime traveling. But I also say, like, when you see each other, it's actually quality time. And now we live together in my mom's house and it's like a crock pot pressure cooker. Being like, my mom's driving me nuts. And he's like, your mom's driving me nuts. And we're like, let's just go for a 20 minute drive just to get out. We pack our dogs in the car and I'm like, we gotta go to Mallorca tomorrow, you know, and like, it's. Life will always be hard. And I always want to say this to young gals. When it's good, when you're dating, that really is like peak. So if it is tough and you don't know where you stand with somebody while you're dating, it's not the relationship. Because it's only going to get harder as you get married and live life and have these experiences. So why be with these guys who, like, you don't know where you stand? What the fuck are we doing here?
Khalyla Kuhn
Right?
Heather McMahon
But yeah, we were long distance for almost like eight years.
Khalyla Kuhn
Incredible.
Heather McMahon
But made it happen. I mean, in reality too, I moved to la, I was here, we were going back and forth. I mean, we saw each other once a month, once every other month. And no breakups, no nothing. It was just like, that's my dude. And then my dad passed, and I moved back to Atlanta, and Jeff was in New York finishing, like, a grad school program, and I was just like, all right, I gotta be here for a little bit. I mean, it was obviously easier. We were on the east coast, but that was just my person. We just made it work. You have to make it work. And now we live together, but I also stay on tour, and I think it's the special. Like, I go on the road, and I come home, and I'm like, I actually like this human, you know?
Khalyla Kuhn
Yeah. I don't think two people are meant to be in each other's faces all day, every day. That's not healthy. Not if it's your mom, your sister, your dog, maybe. My dog. My dog. Yeah. Just my dog.
Heather McMahon
I want my dog to live inside.
Khalyla Kuhn
Yeah, me too.
Annie Lederman
Heather, I'm so glad that we finally got to have you on our show.
Heather McMahon
Thank you for having me. I've been such a big fan forever, and I so invested in your new love life. And I want to make sure that I will send you the lymphatic plate. So give me your address. I'll send you one. And I want to make sure that you're. You're pooping, because that's important.
Jules
Thank you.
Heather McMahon
Because you can't be having all this sex if you're backed up either.
Jules
I don't want to fart. Yeah, I don't want to fart. And it smells like.
Khalyla Kuhn
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because then the fart has to travel around the existing poo. It's.
Heather McMahon
And then queefing is just a whole nother can of worms. Yeah. Even married for how long I've been with Jeff up queeving still makes me giggle. It makes me giggle.
Khalyla Kuhn
You cannot not acknowledge it. You have to, because it's like, oh, let's pretend we didn't hear that. It's so just. Like, we all heard it. It was loud. It was noxious.
Heather McMahon
So loud.
Annie Lederman
They don't care. Nobody cares.
Heather McMahon
No, they really don't care. Jeff calls me Kitty Queef because my nickname's Heathcat. And so when it happens for like, a week, he's like, kitty Queef, you want to go to dinner? And I'm like, stop. Like, I turn red. I'm like. Like, please don't say that. Oh, my God. I can't.
Annie Lederman
Your mom hears.
Heather McMahon
Oh, my mom knows everything. Oh, yeah. No, my mom does it. We. We have a. We have a pretty nice setup at the compound. But no, my mom is actively being like, when am I getting a grandchild? And stuff like that. So I also grew up in a house that were like. My parents really made love and loved each other. Not in a creepy way.
Khalyla Kuhn
I love that.
Heather McMahon
But they were very. I had a very healthy sense of sexuality growing up because my parents were, like, really? They fucked.
Khalyla Kuhn
Can I just ask one more question before we go? This is what I want to hear. I have a kid, and I never want to conceal my love for my partner from him. You're saying you liked watching that you loved watching your parents be loving?
Heather McMahon
Yes. And then I would go to some of my other friends houses and their parents. Like, you never saw them kiss or hug. And that was weird. I mean, granted, they had a good relationship. That doesn't always happen. But. No, I felt very much so when I started getting in relationships, I had a healthy version of.
Jules
Of.
Heather McMahon
Of what to have as a guiding light, you know? Yeah, no, I think it's good, you know, I mean, we're not doing hand jobs at the kitchen table, but I think it was good to see that my. My parents really, physically loved each other.
Khalyla Kuhn
This makes you feel better?
Heather McMahon
Yeah.
Khalyla Kuhn
Okay.
Annie Lederman
Yeah, I have the opposite effect, but that's because my parents are like. They're. It's not, like, loving. It's, like, gross.
Heather McMahon
Oh, they're like deep throat.
Annie Lederman
They'll, like, just, like, make, like, sex jokes right in front of me where it's like that. That is your crossing a line. I feel that my parents cross a line, and if you just don't cross that line, it should be okay.
Heather McMahon
So does it make you feel uncomfortable that they're boning? Because I think you should be like, yeah, mom and dad.
Annie Lederman
No, I would if it was their secret. But, like, why do I have to, like, know, like, the giggle, hear the giggles? And, like, I feel like they get off on, like, grossing me out. Like, there's something weird going on.
Heather McMahon
I always knew that my parents were doing it when I would come home on, like, a Friday night after a football game, and I'd hear Michael Buble on the Sonos upstairs and the Jacuzzi going. And I was like, oh, yeah. And then I tell all my friends, like, guys, we gotta go to Chick Fil a for a while. Mom and dad, Buble's playing, you know? I mean, my dad on his deathbed, he was asking for a blowjob. And my mom. My mom was like, kyle, you got a catheter in. It's not happening. But he, like. He literally said, like, one of his last breaths to My mom was like, you were a great lover. And I was like, hell, yeah.
Khalyla Kuhn
I love that.
Heather McMahon
Now I really respect it. I'm like, yeah, yeah. And also, just if I can have a 10 second, I'm not plugging any shows or anything. My mom's great. She's such a catch. I have the hottest mom on the planet. She's been 10 years widowed. She's looking for, you know, somebody travel the world with. She still wants to date. She's still horny. So if anybody has, like a fun rich uncle or wants me to be their stepsister, we're great at holidays. I have a really fun family. So DM me because I'm really looking for somebody for my mom to date. Wow. Whoa.
Annie Lederman
That sounds so fun.
Heather McMahon
Yeah. And she's cute, y'. All. Robin McMahon is so hot. Yeah. She had the love of her life with my dad, and now she just wants somebody to, like, travel and have a blast with. She deserves that.
Khalyla Kuhn
Yeah, that's absolutely what she deserves.
Heather McMahon
Yeah. So that's. That's what my pitch. I came here, I tested Cokes, I gave you doo doo advice. You know, we talked.
Khalyla Kuhn
We're going Hawaii.
Heather McMahon
We're. I'm going to Hawaii. I'm free diving. Can't wait. And I hopefully will find my mom love. And I'm so grateful to have met you ladies. Y' all are fantastic.
Annie Lederman
We're manifesting that for you and for Robin. Heather, thank you for so much. Thank you to our audience. I hope you guys loved Heather as much as we do, and I know that you do. And as always, we'll see you next week with a brand new episode.
Esther Povitsky
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Summary of "Heather MacMahan is Our House Bunny" – Trash Tuesday Podcast
Episode Release Date: July 15, 2025
In this vibrant and candid episode of Trash Tuesday, hosts Khalyla Kuhn and Annie Lederman welcome the renowned comedian and podcaster Heather McMahon as their special guest. The conversation spans a wide array of topics, from personal adventures in Hawaii to deep dives into relationships, health, and the quirks of everyday life. Below is a detailed breakdown of the key discussions, insights, and memorable moments from the episode.
The episode kicks off with the hosts sharing their recent trip to Hawaii, setting a relaxed and playful tone.
Heather McMahon reminisces about her summers spent at Pasquet Surf Camp in San Diego during her junior high to high school years. She fondly recalls surfing alongside legends like Kelly Slater and developing a passion for the ocean despite being from landlocked Atlanta.
[01:33] Heather McMahon: "I used to shred the gnar. I was landlocked in Atlanta, but Blue Crush came out, and my parents took me to Hawaii. I found my destiny there."
The discussion highlights the liberating experience of surfing and how it shaped Heather's connection with the ocean.
Annie Lederman introduces the idea of "podcast personality," describing it as a heightened state of reaction and engagement shaped by constant podcasting.
Annie Lederman self-identifies with this persona, explaining how podcasting has trained her to react intensely to everyday topics to avoid "dead air."
[07:18] Annie Lederman: "I've officially clinically diagnosed myself with podcast personality. It's like you can't just listen; you have to react and add information."
Khalyla Kuhn adds her perspective, relating it to her own experiences of socializing and the fear of being perceived as annoying.
[08:37] Khalyla Kuhn: "You're so right. I think this is why I've been a hermit. I don't like to socialize as much because I'm afraid of being that person."
A humorous yet insightful conversation unfolds around Diet Coke consumption, personal health habits, and the challenges of maintaining a balanced lifestyle.
Heather McMahon shares her struggle with Diet Coke addiction, attributing it to her father's health issues linked to excessive consumption.
[12:10] Heather McMahon: "My dad... I think he died of pancreatic cancer because he drank like 12 Diet Cokes a day. So I gave them up for 10 hard years."
Annie Lederman discusses the complexities of reconciling past habits with current health consciousness.
[13:14] Annie Lederman: "I'm longing for the days before I knew about cortisol spikes and ruining my guts. Five years ago, I would drink a giant black iced coffee and feel on fire all day."
Heather opens up about her experiences with plastic surgery, detailing the challenges and humorous mishaps along the way.
She recounts undergoing neck surgeries twice due to conservative medical approaches, using these experiences as material for her comedy.
[16:15] Heather McMahon: "I had to get plastic surgery on the same spot twice. I never thought I'd be that person sharing stories about undergoing lipo on my neck."
Heather emphasizes the importance of self-acceptance and dismissing negative comments.
[17:14] Heather McMahon: "Nobody tells you that healing is linear. Don't change anything about yourself and don't listen to the negative comments. You're beautiful."
A heartfelt segment delves into Heather's long-distance relationship with her husband, Jeff, highlighting the dedication and mutual support that sustained their bond.
Heather McMahon shares how they met in New York and navigated an eight-year long-distance relationship, ultimately leading to marriage.
[73:28] Heather McMahon: "We were long distance for almost eight years, but we made it happen. I knew he was the right guy when he supported my dreams without holding me back."
She offers advice to listeners about the viability of long-distance relationships when both partners are committed.
[74:06] Heather McMahon: "When it's good, it's peak. If you're unsure in the early stages, it's not the relationship. It will only get harder as you move forward together."
In a playful and interactive segment, the hosts and Heather conduct a taste test of various Coca-Cola beverages to determine if listeners can distinguish between them.
Jules and Heather engage in tasting different Cokes, leading to humorous reactions and debates about flavor differences.
[47:14] Jules: "I think this is Diet Coke."
[47:26] Khalyla Kuhn: "The second one was Diet Coke. You said it was spicy."
They conclude that Mexican Coke stands out due to its use of real cane sugar, attributing a distinct and superior taste to it.
[48:18] Heather McMahon: "Mexican Coke has real cane sugar. It's a cure-all for a hangover; it just hits different."
The conversation shifts to personal relationships, discussing the dynamics of living with family members and maintaining healthy boundaries.
Khalyla Kuhn and Heather McMahon talk about living with parents and the challenges that come with it, especially when considering starting a family.
[31:03] Heather McMahon: "I might need a crash pad or my own apartment where nobody can bother me. But I still want my mom close by for support."
Heather shares anecdotes about her mother's active desire to date post-widowhood, adding a humorous twist to family interactions.
[73:55] Heather McMahon: "My mom's been widowed for 10 years and is looking to date again. She's the hottest mom on the planet and deserves someone to travel the world with."
As the episode wraps up, the hosts and Heather reflect on the shared experiences and the importance of authenticity in relationships and personal growth.
Heather McMahon encourages listeners to embrace their true selves and live life fully, emphasizing the support from her friends and family.
[76:00] Heather McMahon: "Don't live it small, bitch. Do not."
The hosts express their appreciation for Heather's participation, highlighting the enriching conversations and the bonds formed through shared stories.
[76:07] Annie Lederman: "We're manifesting that for you and for Robin. Heather, thank you so much."
Notable Quotes with Timestamps:
[01:33] Heather McMahon: "I used to shred the gnar. I was landlocked in Atlanta, but Blue Crush came out, and my parents took me to Hawaii. I found my destiny there."
[07:18] Annie Lederman: "I've officially clinically diagnosed myself with podcast personality. It's like you can't just listen; you have to react and add information."
[12:10] Heather McMahon: "My dad... I think he died of pancreatic cancer because he drank like 12 Diet Cokes a day. So I gave them up for 10 hard years."
[16:15] Heather McMahon: "I had to get plastic surgery on the same spot twice. I never thought I'd be that person sharing stories about undergoing lipo on my neck."
[73:28] Heather McMahon: "We were long distance for almost eight years, but we made it happen. I knew he was the right guy when he supported my dreams without holding me back."
[48:18] Heather McMahon: "Mexican Coke has real cane sugar. It's a cure-all for a hangover; it just hits different."
[76:00] Heather McMahon: "Don't live it small, bitch. Do not."
This episode of Trash Tuesday offers a blend of humor, vulnerability, and insightful discussions, providing listeners with relatable content and heartfelt advice. Heather McMahon's presence adds depth and relatability, making the conversation both entertaining and meaningful.