Hexed by RUDY JULES

Summary

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Trash Tuesday w/ Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn

Episode: "Hexed by RUDY JULES"
Date: October 14, 2025

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Episode Overview

This episode of Trash Tuesday delivers a classic witches’ coven vibe for spooky season, as hosts Esther Povitsky and Khalyla Kuhn are joined by their inner circle—Jenna, Jules, and various family members in attendance. With topics dancing from color preferences and personal quirks to deep explorations of motherhood, vulnerability, and mental health, the group offers raw personal anecdotes, blunt opinions, and plenty of signature self-deprecating humor.
A special segment revisits "Lana Del Rey marriage trends," the dynamics of being universally vs. geographically attracted to romantic partners, and a lively trick-or-treat commentary round sourced from their YouTube audience. Underneath the laughter and chaos, they deeply address recent personal tragedy, issues of boundaries, and what it means to support one another—making for an episode that zigzags between playful banter and poignant vulnerability.

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Key Discussion Points

1. Color Preferences and Clothing Choices (00:13–04:14)

• The hosts and guests banter about personal color preferences and how it influences their wardrobes or moods.

  • Jenna admits she doesn’t wear black:

    "Because it doesn’t make me happy when I look down at it." (02:50 – Jenna)

  • Esther and Kalila recall dramatic childhood answers to the “favorite color” question, hinting at their attention-seeking pasts.

• Discussion transitions to clothing choices for auditions, self-expression, and how personal psychology is reflected in style.

2. Corsets, Waist Trainers & Body Image (04:33–05:58)

• Esther wonders aloud about the health effects of tight fajas and corsets post-pregnancy:

  • "I can’t imagine it being good for your pelvic floor to crunch everything immediately and push everything down." (05:23 – Esther)

• The group questions the origin and trendiness of waist trainers and the societal expectations on women’s bodies.

3. Food, Eating Habits & Disordered Patterns (06:07–07:45)

• Honest talk about breakfast routines, binging and restricting, and the emotional cycles around food:

  • "Binging always leads to restriction, and restriction always leads to binging, and it will never, ever stop." (07:06 – Jenna)

  • "There are no bad food." (07:43 – Kalila)

4. Family, Parental Critique & Generational Quirks (07:50–12:24)

• Kalila shares how her mom’s critical remarks hurt her confidence, leading to viral “spoon” TikToks and introspections.
• Stories about energetic vs. restful personalities in their families and differences in how each of their mothers handle relaxation and stillness.

5. Cleaning Styles & Personal Quirks (13:22–14:49)

• The group details their very different approaches to cleanliness and organization, with Jules noting:

  • "I think I just care more about what people see. But then, if it’s just my own space ... I don’t care." (14:24 – Jules)

• The contrast between public spaces and private “bedrotting” is explored hilariously.

6. Lana Del Rey, 'Universally Hot' vs. 'Geographically Hot' Partners (15:02–18:54)

• Esther claims to have "started the Lana Del Rey marriage trend," recounting how Lana married a Louisiana swamp guide:

  • "When you see a man out of his element, it is frightening." (16:23 – Kalila)

• The group discusses if attraction is ubiquitous or context-dependent.

7. Changing Family & Partner Dynamics (20:02–24:00)

• Stories about seeing their partners (or friends’ partners) in various settings, and how power dynamics or out-of-context behavior can shift attraction.
• Kalila shares a tense story of a financial misunderstanding between Dave and her father.

8. Generational Sexism, Microaggressions, and Old-School Takes (25:04–28:15)

• The group shares some eyebrow-raising, blatantly sexist quips from older male relatives.
• Jules recounts being condescended to when first arriving in America, despite academic excellence in the Philippines.

9. Parenting Boundaries & Control Issues (28:41–40:42)

• Discussion pivots to how much help to give teens or kids—and how hard it is to "wean" oneself from overparenting habits.
• Kalila reflects on being yelled at for “doing it wrong” as a child—and how that translates to adult incompetence in the kitchen.

10. Vulnerability, Mental Health, & Personal Loss (44:21–49:43)

• The episode turns serious as Kalila discusses a tragic family suicide:

  • "We had a major tragedy in my family ... my niece and nephew’s father passed away ... he lost his mental health battle." (45:00 – Kalila)

  • She describes struggling to be vulnerable on the podcast and feeling guilt over not recognizing a real suicide risk in someone who “threatened” it.
  • Group reflects on the limits of prevention, the pain of being left behind, and relates it to postpartum suffering and the darkness some medication adjustments brought on.

11. Audience Trick-or-Treat Segment (43:53–end)

• The group reads and reacts to both appreciative and snarky fan comments.
• Jenna receives playful jabs about her fashion/hair (“Lord Farquaad hair”), which she accepts with charm.
• Light back-and-forths about natural beauty vs. “glam” female podcasters:

  • "We’re not having someone do our makeup. We’re not really doing it up. We're doing natural day makeup." (62:40 – Jenna)

• Discussion about hexing public figures (and Zoe Kravitz for dating Harry Styles), hair transplants, and more quirky audience questions round out the show.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On ‘Geographically Hot’ Partners:

  “I once dated this guy...I took him out of his place of power... I lost all attraction almost immediately.”
  (16:06 – Esther)

• On Family Critique & Social Media:

  “My mom has ruined my confidence this week. She told me that I have a rash on my face, I need to see a dermatologist.”
  (07:50 – Kalila)

• On Tragic Loss:

  “This is the first time recording since a major tragedy happened... my niece and nephew’s father passed away... he lost his mental health battle.”
  (45:00 – Kalila)

• On Accepting Herself:

  “Anytime someone says I’m trash, I’ve been calling myself trash for like 20 years. I like it. I think it’s cute.”
  (44:41 – Jenna)

• On Boundaries and Oversharing Locations:

  “The way that Esther checks it and wonders and is mapping to me or asking, ‘Oh, I see you’re here. What do...’ No, you lost it.”
  (36:06 – Jenna)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Color & Wardrobe Talk: 00:13–04:14
• Corset & Body Image: 04:33–05:58
• Food & Binging Cycles: 06:07–07:45
• Family Critique & Cleaning Personality: 07:50–14:49
• Lana Del Rey Romance/Universally vs. Geographically Hot: 15:02–18:54
• Partner Dynamics & “Work Mode” vs. “Home Mode”: 20:02–24:00
• Generational Sexism: 25:04–28:15
• Parenting Boundaries: 28:41–40:42
• Kitchen/Chore Trauma: 30:08–32:43
• Mental Health, Tragedy & Vulnerability: 44:21–49:43
• Audience Trick-or-Treat, Fan Interactions, and Hair Talk: 43:53–end

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Tone, Style & Takeaways

The episode stays loyal to Trash Tuesday’s blend of irreverence, dark humor, and heartfelt honesty. Much time is spent roasting each other's quirks and aesthetics, delivering vulnerable confessions, and picking apart societal norms and family dynamics. The group’s chemistry is evident as they dart between belly laughs and tearful admissions—showing that even in “trash,” there’s space for tenderness.

This installment will especially resonate with listeners who relate to messy family ties, complex romantic attractions, postpartum anxiety, and the ever-present struggle to both survive and laugh at the absurdities of womanhood today.

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For those who missed the episode: Expect warmth, chaos, solidarity—and no shortage of hexes, hair talk, and honest tears, all served with a wink.

Transcript

[Jenna]

36, Monica, three six mafia.

[Host/Producer]

With the utmost peace and love. I've always thought Jenna's usual hair gives Lord Farqua.

[Kalila]

Yeah, now I can't unsee her.

[Guest or occasional speaker]

I don't even have anything to say because it's like, listen, you're not wrong, but it sucks and it's sad, and you can't say that with the utmost peace and love. If it was with the utmost peace and love, you wouldn't have said it.

[Kalila]

Hi, slugs. I'm on tour, and I am about to be in Seattle, Olympia, Washington, Denver, Colorado, and I'll be in nyc, Philly, and Boston. All of those are coming up in October, November. You can get tickets at the link below. Pretty littlebaby tour.com. slugs, we just recorded a Patreon. All of us. Jules, Jenna, and Coco and I. And if you want to check it out, you could go to the Patreon. We actually covered a lot of, like, dating. Jules has some dating stuff going on.

[Esther]

If you want to find out Jules's secret crush. Oh, sign up for our Patreon. Help her in her dilemma.

[Kalila]

With this boy, I had to face humiliation also, and I handled it. You can check out the Patreon and shout out to our golden slug, Brandon, my mom is here and my grandma's sister is here, so don't be crazy.

[Jenna]

Well, okay. You should have not invited me then.

[Esther]

Jenna's already crashing out. Explain why you're crashing out again.

[Kalila]

Again.

[Jenna]

Again. Well, don't mind if I do. Well, one, because my breakfast sandwich fell on the car of the floor of my car. Ooh, you're upset that I woke up an hour early to make.

[Kalila]

Oh, that's so horrible.

[Jenna]

Early to make it. I pan toasted my bread, egg sandwich, AVO mash, everything, chicken, sausage, and it slid onto the floor of my car. You wouldn't eat it like that on the carpet. It went back and forth, back and forth with my water bottle over it. You would eat it. No, you wouldn't.

[Kalila]

No, but you would. I think I wouldn't, but.

[Jenna]

And then I'm also very angry because I'm always the only one who dresses up out of everyone. You're laughing because you know it's true. You know it's true. And then today, the one day that it's easy to just wear black. All witches wear black. Esther's like, you're not dressing up, Jenna. You didn't dress up today.

[Esther]

Do you even own any black? Is my question.

[Jenna]

No, I don't.

[Esther]

I don't think you do. I don't it's just pastel, right?

[Jenna]

Mm.

[Kalila]

How is that even possible for auditions?

[Jenna]

I don't wear black. I have an audition closet, but it's just like, blue. Blue clothes and jeans.

[Kalila]

I bet you would look good in black.

[Jenna]

No, I don't.

[Kalila]

Why don't you have it?

[Jenna]

Because it doesn't make me happy when I look down at it.

[Esther]

That's a really good way to live, though. It's like, you should wear colors that only make you happy.

[Jenna]

Like, when I look down, I like to be like, ooh, yay.

[Kalila]

I remember when I was little, someone asked what my favorite color was, and I said black. And they're like, well, that's not really a color. And it was sad.

[Jenna]

This is very telling.

[Kalila]

Is it?

[Jenna]

When I was younger, I used to tell people my favorite color was rainbow and metallic silver. And I would get the same response.

[Kalila]

We both have, like, dramatic answers to get attention.

[Jenna]

And everyone's like, what happened to green?

[Esther]

Green?

[Jenna]

I did like blue for a very long time.

[Kalila]

What's your guys favorite color? Green.

[Esther]

Yeah, green.

[Jenna]

Oh.

[Esther]

It's not the color that looks best on me, but it's the color that elicits joy.

[Jenna]

And she likes particularly like a. Like that bright green.

[Esther]

I love all greens.

[Kalila]

I do love green. Gre.

[Jenna]

I love that, like, bright green. Yeah.

[Kalila]

Like when you mix different shades of greens. What's your favorite color?

[Jules]

Like brown.

[Esther]

Brown. That's a very jewels answer for some reason. Yeah, brown is nice. Like tan. I wish they tan like chocolate. Like what? Brown. Brown.

[Jenna]

I'm talking about dick colors, Jules.

[Jules]

I like dick brown.

[Kalila]

I like chic brown.

[Jules]

I like any brown shit.

[Jenna]

Brown.

[Esther]

All browns. Okay, cool.

[Jenna]

Oh, wait, we're not supposed to be.

[Kalila]

Yeah, my grandma's sister is here.

[Esther]

Welcome to our Witch Spooky season episode. And today we are witches.

[Kalila]

Yeah, only today. Not every time. Like all the comments.

[Jenna]

Well, I'm a witch every day. That's why I dressed as me.

[Kalila]

You've said it 400 times to the point where it's just letting me know.

[Jenna]

Again, it never had value.

[Kalila]

It's losing meaning.

[Esther]

Forgive me if I undo this corset in the next two minutes because I can't breathe. I can't breathe.

[Kalila]

Well, that's the point of the corset. It's to slowly kill you.

[Esther]

Oh, that is true. Does it really reshape your ribs over time?

[Kalila]

I don't know. But if it does, I think that's really sickening.

[Esther]

I think so too. Especially those really tight fajas.

[Jenna]

Yeah.

[Esther]

Girls wear. And immediately after. I mean, no Judgment to, like, anyone who wants to, like, snap back immediately after having a baby. But those really, really tight fajas that, like, just shove everything inside. Like, that can't be good for the pelvic floor. Right.

[Kalila]

Why have judgment for that? I have judgment against that also because.

[Jenna]

I feel like the people who created it years ago were just men. I don't think it was women being like, I want my waist to be this small. It was men being like, I need your waist to be this small. Small.

[Kalila]

I don't know if I agree with that.

[Esther]

I think I'm seeing it more from, like, a medical standpoint. Like, I can't imagine it being good for your pelvic floor to crunch everything immediately and push everything down.

[Kalila]

But intestines moving around would be my first fear.

[Esther]

Exactly.

[Kalila]

Like, because that's actually trendy. Like, waist trainers are, like, on Instagram being sold, and I'm not buying it.

[Esther]

I mean, it's that scene from Titanic. Yeah, Right. Where she just gets getting pulled in more and more by the mom.

[Jenna]

Also, oxygen. It would make me so anxious if I couldn't, like, expand fully.

[Kalila]

You can let that belly out. Yeah. Yeah, same girl.

[Esther]

Are we going to jump right into topics? Because, like, I'm sure.

[Jenna]

I guess because I'm asleep.

[Kalila]

Yeah. What's wrong with you? Because you didn't have your breakfast.

[Jenna]

Yeah, I didn't have my breakfast.

[Kalila]

That is horrible.

[Jules]

Do you always have, like, a big breakfast?

[Jenna]

Yeah.

[Esther]

Jules just stopped eating, you guys. What's going on with her?

[Jules]

That's not true.

[Esther]

She's like a sick dog.

[Jenna]

You never really ate, like, or you went through phases where you're like, oh, I had Matcha.

[Esther]

And then she binges. So she binges in secrets, and then she just swings back the other way.

[Kalila]

The age for that.

[Esther]

Yeah. Don't let it last. I think it's normal. Like, give it maybe another eight more months, and you gotta start eating again. Okay.

[Jenna]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

What are you trying to, like, starve? And then you get too hungry and you eat too much?

[Jules]

I don't have appetite, so I'm just, like, depression. And then when I'm hungry, I like, binge, binge, binge, and it's so bad.

[Kalila]

One thing I would say is that when the pendulum is all the way over here of starving, it's always going to swing back over here to needing to overeat. So if there's any way you could eat a little bit even though you're not hungry, then you won't binge later.

[Jenna]

It's just binging always leads to restriction, and restriction always leads to binging, and it will never, ever stop. I did that in college for a while because, yeah, I know. All I did was. It was like, my first time experiencing eating while being stressed or, like, eating because I was stressed. And I would be in the library, just, like, living at the cafe and realizing that living off of, like, muffins and just shit trash food was bad. And so then I started getting to the mentality of, like, I can't eat that because that's bad for me. And then it just leads to, no.

[Kalila]

There are no bad food.

[Jenna]

I eat whatever I want.

[Esther]

Your mom is. There are.

[Kalila]

My mom has ruined my confidence this week. She told me that I have a rash on my face. I need to see a dermatologist. Like, I'm, like, depressed from two days with her. She told me when we're going through my jeans, she's laughing and shaking my jeans. Yeah. She's like. I'm like, okay, save these. She's like, do you really think you're ever going to be this skinny again? How dare you?

[Jenna]

Why? She's like, yeah.

[Kalila]

And people think she's so innocent. We also. I have a viral video, the spoons.

[Esther]

You know, that I. I got to show you a TikTok I made about the spoons.

[Kalila]

What do you mean?

[Esther]

But it's, like, ebb related because it's viral. I was like, I'm gonna jump on the spoons trend.

[Kalila]

We told my dad that it had a million, 2 million views on TikTok. And he's like, why would anyone watch that? Our people are so lonely out there.

[Esther]

Meanwhile, he's getting absolutely r. I know.

[Kalila]

The comments are attacking him. They're, like, literally blaming him for all oppression. It's so bad. They're like, this is why I would never marry a man.

[Esther]

This is a cautionary tale. It's wild.

[Kalila]

And I want to defend him and be like, guys, he's 82. But that's such a full lie for me because he was like this forever. Like, right. Like, even when he was 42, he's always been. But I also partially blame my mom because she makes people, you know, useless. She renders them useless.

[Jenna]

I want her to come over to my house and render me useless.

[Kalila]

You would never be capable of that because you're like her. You don't sit still. And you do. Dude, do you sit still?

[Jules]

Jules, I love.

[Jenna]

Yeah. Look at her. She's not even alive right now.

[Esther]

She's of my ilk. Like, she's of my blood in this way. We are like natural bedrotters.

[Kalila]

Why are we like that? And Jenna and my mom and my grandma's sister who's also here, they never sit. They just work, work, work.

[Esther]

It's more like just your. Your constitution. Like, you're what you're born with. Like, some people are naturally energetic. They need less sleep.

[Jenna]

I'm not energetic, and I need more. More sleep, but I still need to.

[Kalila]

Go take a nap and come back.

[Jenna]

Yeah, but I still be standing up. If I'm in my house, I'm. There's always something to clean, something to fold, something to fix. Like, last night, I was FaceTiming with R at, like, midnight. He's like, okay, you said at 10:30 you needed to go to bed, so let's get in bed. I get in bed, I start fixing my lamp. He's like, are you handy womaning right now? What are you doing? Go to bed. I'm like, oh, but my lamp has this thing that I need to fix on it. It's like, I.

[Esther]

What is the feeling you have in your body if you sit still?

[Jenna]

Well, I also do like to sit still. It's just when I'm in my home, it doesn't happen because I feel like there are always things to do. Yeah. So. But if I, like, go to Alyssa's house, I will sit. Or Esther's house, I, like, sit on the couch. Except at Esther's house, there are things to do is she gives me orders.

[Esther]

Well, then that's why she can't just sit around.

[Kalila]

She's giving me a list. She literally. She, like. She's chomping at the bit when she walks in. Remember that one time I said you weren't allowed to come upstairs until you took the vacuum? Until I took it?

[Jenna]

You mean until I fixed it.

[Kalila]

Oh, you have to fix the vacuum.

[Jenna]

You needed me to fix it. She's like, my vacuum doesn't work. It's showing this code that there's something happening.

[Kalila]

You can't come in the house. And I didn't.

[Jenna]

I fixed it. I did get a bit excited.

[Kalila]

She's literally like a little kid. She's so excited about to do a scavenger hunt. She's so happy.

[Jenna]

I do like to also sit. And not, like, if I go to Alyssa's house, I sit on her couch and I just. Oh, good.

[Esther]

So you do know how to chill out. See, my mom can't even do that. My mom can't. My mom either sit and relax. Like, even on a plane where you.

[Jenna]

Have to be seat.

[Esther]

And, like, you cannot get up, you know, because of the fastened seatbelt sign. You see her, like, internally moving. Like, you can just see her, like, like fidgeting or trying to do something or licking her lips excessively, because she cannot just sit still.

[Jenna]

My mom is like that too. And I'm like, mom, did you ever. And maybe I get it from her. But then over time, I think I learned to relax. But I've asked my mom, like, do you ever, like, stop talking or stop doing things?

[Kalila]

And she's like, do you ever stop talking?

[Jenna]

Or, like, just stop talking.

[Kalila]

Women love to be out doing, which is anything.

[Jenna]

Like, stop talking, stop thinking, stop folding. Stop doing what? And she's like, no, I don't like to. And I'm like, well, but why? We don't have time for this. Okay, so she's like your mom and that she cannot sit still.

[Esther]

Well, she cannot confront the feeling or the thoughts that are in her head, in her body when there's silence.

[Kalila]

I think I just flew with my mom and I was like. She was like, okay, well, your bag isn't fully under the seat and your seat needs to be coming now. I'm like, I feel like I was flying with a flight attendant. I'm like, you don't work here. You can't tell me what to do. But my. My question for, like, you actually and for the audience is, are you a do it now or do it later?

[Esther]

I'm a do it, like, barely on time. Like, I am not. I am a full blown procrastinator.

[Kalila]

Yeah, I'm a do it later.

[Esther]

I'm a later, later, later. Last minute, girl.

[Kalila]

What are you guys.

[Jenna]

That is why I'm doing all of the things, because I'm doing them all so that I don't have thing that I'm putting off. Like, there'll be something that I have to do that's like, this is due tomorrow. I am folding, fixing.

[Kalila]

Oh, you do everything. That's true.

[Jenna]

I'm doing everything that's giving me this, like, little burst of dopamine so that I don't have to do the thing for some reason that would take me 10 minutes.

[Esther]

Yeah, your mental gymnastics with yourself.

[Jenna]

I get so much dopamine from, like, vacuuming for the 15th time or folding laundry and then putting it away or fixing my lamp or.

[Esther]

She's the one that's most interesting to me because she will absolutely side eye. You, like, the most cutting side eye. If you leave a dish in the sink or let's say you wash dishes and there's Some, like, water splatter around. And you don't wipe the whole counter down. She will, like, attack you.

[Kalila]

Meanwhile.

[Esther]

Meanwhile. Meanwhile, you enter her room, her bedroom, where she sleeps. And there's piles of crusty plates, no food. Clothes that are unfolded.

[Jules]

Yeah.

[Esther]

And it's, like, crazy because she's like. Like she's been yelling. She doesn't. Every single day where she's like, you're not doing this right. You're not doing this right. But in her own private space. She wants to rot in hell.

[Kalila]

That's not crusty plates.

[Jenna]

Yeah.

[Jules]

And I have, like, coffee drinks or matcha that are just like. There's, like, molds already. And I just leave it.

[Jenna]

You're Bobby.

[Esther]

But the outside is like. She cleans up everything perfectly.

[Jules]

So I think I just care more about what people see. But then, if it's just my own space.

[Jenna]

If you.

[Jules]

If you've seen my car, it's like. Like the way Titu. Bobby left. I've never cleaned it.

[Esther]

It's the same. It hasn't leveled up since the last.

[Jenna]

Time I cleaned it. It hasn't been clean.

[Jules]

It was, like, shit, too.

[Jenna]

But wait, so that makes sense. Because if it's your own space, it doesn't really bother you.

[Jules]

I don't care.

[Kalila]

Yeah, that does not make sense. Don't try to make sense of that.

[Jenna]

It does. Because she cares. Like, what other people think. Or if there's, like, a common area that they' to be like, oh, you didn't clean this, or you're not doing a good job. Yeah. Yeah.

[Jules]

But then if it's just my own thing, I. Yeah, that's true.

[Kalila]

I don't understand.

[Esther]

I have a topic I'd like to bring up. Not to toot my own horn, but I really think I started the Lana Del Rey marriage trend.

[Kalila]

Explain.

[Jenna]

Damn. I don't know anything. Please tell me.

[Esther]

So, Lana Del Rey. You know Lana Del Rey?

[Jenna]

Yeah.

[Esther]

Okay. Ethereal goddess. Just, you know, queen of sad. Our queen. Yeah. Queen of sad. One day, just out of nowhere, married an alligator wrestler wrangler from Louisiana.

[Kalila]

Like a tour boat. A swamp tour guide.

[Esther]

Yeah. Swamp tour guide.

[Jenna]

That's hot.

[Esther]

Thank you. Thank you. Is a guy. When you're with someone, are they universally hot to you or are they geographically hot?

[Kalila]

Explain.

[Esther]

Okay. So I once dated this guy. I met him when I was in a different land. And over there I fell in love with everything. Everything about him. He was so powerful. It was his domain. I looked at him like the way he dove, the way he drove his truck. Everything I was like, God, the way.

[Jenna]

He dove, the way he drove everything right, everything. The way he shucked.

[Esther]

And I thought that I was in love. I was like, this is the man of my dreams. But then I took him out of his place of power and in brought him into my world. And I lost all attraction almost immediately.

[Kalila]

That is so real. Like, when you see a man out of his element, it is frightening.

[Jenna]

Unless you see a man out of his element and he still got it. Oh, and he's still him. Then I'm like, oh, you're for me.

[Esther]

Exactly. So I wanted to ask you. So Aloha is from Hawaii. He's a diver, He's a hunter. He's all of these things. But when I. When he came over here, he became even hotter because I'm like, oh, he just is great with everything and everyone. He's a better human than me. He's hot. He's universally hot to me.

[Jenna]

You see Aloha anywhere, and you're like, he's my man.

[Kalila]

And you're like, give me a piggyback ride, right?

[Jenna]

Yeah.

[Esther]

Like, I feel like he's my man all over the world.

[Jenna]

Like, he's my leader.

[Esther]

He's my leader.

[Jenna]

He's my king. He's my queen.

[Kalila]

Exactly, Butcher. He's my butcher, my baker.

[Jenna]

I just need him in our community.

[Kalila]

Living Butcher and Lola Baker.

[Esther]

I wanted to basically, basically remind Lana Del Rey, because we know she watches the show.

[Jenna]

Oh, no.

[Esther]

This is a guy you were really attracted to in the swamp a couple times a year. You need to go back there and remind yourself why this guy is so badass. He's connected to nature. He knows what the fuck he's doing out there. He's like a man of the man out there. But if she pulls him too much into Paris Fashion Week and into her world and he's just like, who the fuck are these people? I hope he's universally hot to her. Not just geographically.

[Kalila]

He's universally hot to me.

[Esther]

He's hot because he's so hot.

[Kalila]

The way he's standing there at Paris Fashion Week, you could tell he's, like, ready to fight a gator, you know? Like, he brought that energy to. He sure did.

[Jenna]

He's. He's looking for a gator right now, you guys.

[Esther]

He's not.

[Jenna]

He's got dip in his mouth or something.

[Esther]

He is so hot. I can't even get over it.

[Kalila]

He's not standing there pretending like he's some model. He's like, I will. I'm here to protect her. From Gators.

[Esther]

But also, he probably looks at every single A list person. And he was like, who's that?

[Kalila]

Yeah, you give a.

[Esther]

And here's the final touch to why he's so attracted to sunglasses over the head.

[Jenna]

Where did she meet him?

[Esther]

It's such a country ass.

[Jenna]

So country.

[Esther]

It's so hot.

[Jenna]

So country.

[Kalila]

She met him, like, I think on a boat tour in Louisiana, I think.

[Jenna]

Oh, yeah, that's what you said.

[Kalila]

That's what legend says. Legend has it.

[Esther]

I hope they last forever. I am obsessed with this couple. I get it. I get it. And, you know, people on. On Tick Tock are like, this fries my brain. I'm like, no, this brings me immense joy. Like, this is so hot.

[Kalila]

What she's. I love. It's, like, subversive. Like, she's always doing something, you know, different and unusual with her platform. Like, she's bringing the gator guy. She's wearing a dress she bought at Ross for 13.99 on a red carpet.

[Jenna]

That's right.

[Kalila]

She's messing with things a little bit.

[Jenna]

I love that. Yeah, I didn't know any of that. And I. I love her now.

[Kalila]

She doesn't play by the rules of.

[Jenna]

Hollywood, but when you watch Gator man.

[Esther]

Well, for instance, r. It's like you love him universally everywhere. But is there a part of you that's like, you have to watch him in the field, on the field, play soccer, do this to be like, oh, my God, he's. I remember why.

[Jenna]

No, because I met him in high school.

[Esther]

Oh, okay.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Jenna]

That's interesting. But he was. He was playing soccer then. But I've seen him in many iterations of him at this point that it's like. I mean, I think he needs to be doing what he loves to be doing and be around soccer for him to feel good. But I've seen him in so many different areas with different groups of friends, different countries, that I'm just like, you're universally hot to me.

[Esther]

Yeah. I saw this one time with my friend. Do you remember the guy she brought to one of our fight nights?

[Jules]

We.

[Esther]

That was wearing, like, Old Navy flare jeans.

[Kalila]

Wait, hold on.

[Esther]

Okay, so he was a very successful guy. He was, like, a CEO of some, like, robotics company. Like, really, like, highly successful. And I think she met him in that setting. And. But he was not necessarily, you know, like, standardly, like, handsome. And she was like, hey, you mind if I bring so and so to the family fight night? It's like, ufc. Gilbert's there, Jenna's there. Like, we're all just, you know, and she. That's when she realized, like, situationally, geographically hot, because she fell in love with him in his place of power, which was at the robotics company when he was at his big desk. And then he stepped out from behind the desk in his old navy flared jeans and into family fight night. And she was like, I can never have sex with this man. So, like, you really have to be real with yourself. Like, where are they hot? When are they hot? If they're hot all the time to you, that's your man.

[Kalila]

That is such a good test that I feel like doesn't get discussed enough. Like, for me, it's so weird whenever I've seen Dave in his element, because, like, at home, he's, like, 14 times a day, he's like, are you mad at me? Am I in trouble? Yeah.

[Esther]

What did I do?

[Kalila]

That's true. And then I see him at work, and he's, like, mean to everybody, and he's like. I'm like, whoa.

[Jenna]

I'm like, what?

[Kalila]

It's so crazy whenever I see that. I'm like, oh, my God. It's so. He is so confident at work. I don't.

[Esther]

It's, like, crushing his soul. I never tried to crush the poor man's soul.

[Kalila]

He asked me, like, am I in trouble? And I'm like, I, like, literally will yell at him. I'm like, you're not in trouble. Like, stop asking.

[Guest or occasional speaker]

Okay, but she'll also do this when.

[Jenna]

He'S like, are you mad at me? She'll go, no.

[Kalila]

But I'm not. He wants to be in trouble.

[Jenna]

It's true. And I will say that. That Dave has always been hot to me because I've always seen his, like, power.

[Kalila]

Yeah. It's like, he is mean.

[Jenna]

He will.

[Kalila]

He does not put up with any of my. No, I thought he would. Like, he is. He tricked me. Like, I thought he was going to be a pushover, and he's so not.

[Jenna]

He is the opposite of a pushover. Like, he will tell you he's not.

[Esther]

A people pleaser, too. I saw this with my very own eyes when my stepdad, Roger, was like, do you ever just want to break from your kids? And Dave's like, no, that's my daughter. And I was like, you tell him, Dave. Because, you know Roger, bless his heart, but, you know, he says some, like, misogynistic things. It's like, you know, just that generation, right? He's, like, almost 80.

[Jenna]

He did. And he was like. He looked at him like, why would you even Say that. What? And then he's like, come here.

[Esther]

See what Roger was trying to do was trying to bro down.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Esther]

He was trying to bro down and be like, don't you ever just want to a break from the women, the kids, you know, that, that, that kind of vibe. And Dave's like, no, Dave is so bad.

[Kalila]

Yeah, he. Dave is particularly like not play well with older Jewish men because he's so mean to my dad. Did I even tell you guys they had like a huge. There was like a huge drama between Dave and my dad.

[Esther]

Really?

[Kalila]

Months. Yeah.

[Jenna]

Tell me, how do I now know this?

[Kalila]

Oh my God. Basically we were at my parents house and you know, my dad like has access to my like accounts because he does, like my financial accounts because he does. Like some day to day, like he'll move money from my savings to my checking to help me pay my friend.

[Esther]

That's so embarrassing because Roger does the same for me.

[Guest or occasional speaker]

He does.

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Guest or occasional speaker]

That's the thing, Dave.

[Kalila]

Everyone needs to understand if you know an 80 year old Jewish man, that's what you.

[Guest or occasional speaker]

That's your CPA.

[Kalila]

You're literally keeping them alive longer. This is what they want to do.

[Esther]

Messages I get on a daily, like, send me the code fidelity.

[Guest or occasional speaker]

Wait, my mom. Yeah, I just realized that's my mom for me.

[Jenna]

So yesterday she's like, credit karma. Should have sent you a code. Your credit score went down.

[Kalila]

It's tricky because my dad does have a history of gambling. Dave made some comment like, oh, well, maybe we should change the passwords like so that my dad. And then it was like quiet for a second, like, your dad was there in person? Yeah. I mean, you thought I was gonna blow over. Then my dad's like, change the passwords. He's like, well, that's.

[Esther]

He.

[Kalila]

He just like got really upset and offended. What was said? I wasn't paying attention. Oh. But then like, it was weird. And so then like for a few months, like I noticed that whenever I would talk to my dad, he would like make a comment like against Dave. Then finally I'm like, dave, you have to apologize to my dad. And he did. And then like it was fine, but my.

[Jenna]

Apologize for what? Just saying that maybe you should change the passwords.

[Kalila]

Yeah. Like Dave was like basically saying like, my dad shouldn't have access to my money. Well, dad felt like that Dave thought that he was going to steal.

[Jenna]

Yeah, I get that. That would be super offensive.

[Kalila]

Yeah. No, what Dave said was really offensive because he's nasty to old Jewish men.

[Esther]

But sometimes they need to Be nasty. Too true. Like sometimes Roger, this is what he said to me. And by the way, Roger is one of those, like, he was a draft dodger in the best way. Like he, he was an activist against the Vietnam War. He is a history teacher. He's very liberal. He is very all about just the good things, right? But once in a while he'll say, you know, this is why older men go for younger women. It's the hair. That's what he says.

[Jules]

And then ethical.

[Esther]

I crashed out and I crashed out over this comment. Were you there?

[Jules]

Yeah, Christmas.

[Esther]

I thought, oh my God. I crashed out hard. Oh, it's the hair. It's just, you know, when your hormones are gone, your hair gets crispy and you just gotta chop it all off and all of you and all these women walking around crash the. Okay, but this is. Bless his heart, it's just his era. It's not his heart, it's his era.

[Jenna]

He was his hera.

[Esther]

And then he was like, that's why I don't. I would never allow your mom to cut her hair.

[Jules]

Yeah.

[Esther]

And I was like, allow? No, she needs your permission. I'm like, roger, she can do whatever the fuck she wants with her hair.

[Jenna]

I would have shaved her head right.

[Esther]

Then because my mom was like, hey, I really want to get like a bob cut because she looks great with short hair. And Roger's like, absolutely not merit us. You'll be so basically telling she's going to be ugly. And so then we like, we had like a head on collision. It was like, he's like, if you don't believe me, he gets kitchen scissors. He's like, cut your hair right now.

[Kalila]

Oh.

[Esther]

He's like, if you don't believe what I say, if you don't think long hair is dirty. He's like, if you don't agree with what I'm saying, he's like, cut your hair right now. And he gets me kitchen scissors. And I was about to cut my hair right there before my mom was like, no, no.

[Jenna]

But also it's up to you if you want to or don't want to cut your hair.

[Esther]

Yeah, but it's, it, but it's the type of nasty they say. And then the next day he's like, hi, sweetie, how you doing? Because he has a memory of a.

[Jenna]

Goldfish and because to him it wasn't like a, a, a big deal. He was just like stating what he's been taught his whole life.

[Esther]

But I just crashed out. I had the big reaction.

[Jenna]

I'd be like, Cut your dick off, then. If it doesn't matter, cut it off.

[Jules]

Even when I first came here, he. Oh, he told me, like, he was just saying, like, oh, I really thought you were. That's stupid.

[Esther]

Oh, yeah, that's true.

[Jules]

From the Philippines. Yeah.

[Esther]

What?

[Jules]

Yeah, he thought I couldn't read.

[Kalila]

He could.

[Jules]

He thought I couldn't do anything.

[Esther]

By the way, Jules is, like, a straight A student from, like, all throughout college and all throughout high school, but basically, he was. He would talk to her like this. Do you have homework today? How can I help you?

[Jenna]

And knowing Jules, she's just like, yeah.

[Jules]

No, he's like a helicopter parent. And I lived with him and Mata, so it was just a lot. And I would just be always like, no, like, I don't need any help.

[Esther]

I'm fine.

[Jules]

I'm fine.

[Jenna]

No, I don't need any help.

[Esther]

Remember when you first came here from. From America and, like, you couldn't do anything yourself? They would, like, wash through your dishes for you. They would make you eat breakfast.

[Jules]

Like, Matas would cook me breakfast and do her laundry.

[Kalila]

But she was a kid, right?

[Esther]

No, she was 6, 15 years old.

[Kalila]

That's a kid.

[Jules]

No, because in the Philippines, I did everything.

[Esther]

Yeah, but they wanted to baby the shit out of her. And so I was just like, all right, enough. You're gonna come live with me where I won't do anything, and you're gonna do everything for me.

[Jenna]

And then you missed it a little, right?

[Esther]

Because then it turned into, can you call the vet's office for me? Can you do this?

[Kalila]

Can you do that?

[Esther]

So she became, like, my personal assistant.

[Jenna]

What a dream that is.

[Kalila]

What's weird, I don't know what you do with teens. Like, basically, when. If you have a kid and they're at that age where they can do for themselves, do they do it for themselves, or do you still do it? Because this is a big thing.

[Jenna]

They do it for themselves.

[Kalila]

Yeah, but see, this is the thing with my sister where she's, like, always, like, so tired, has no time. She's like, I have to do all the dishes, whatever. And I'm like, your kids? I literally have heard them say to me, we could do it. She complains about it, but, like, their kids are like, we know how to do all that. And then I tell my sister that, and she's like, yeah, but they're kids, so I should be doing it for them.

[Esther]

I kind of understand that, though, because I think you spent so much of their early, like, formative years, like, like, absolute devotion, right? You have to do everything for them. And you get into that programming in your head. It's hard to do everything for them in their early years and then just, like, abruptly stop. I don't think. I think that has to. You have to wean from that slowly because you're, like, programmed to be like, I have to do everything for my kid. Because they don't know how to do it yet. They're six years old. They're seven years old. Maybe that doesn't leave your body. I'm not sure.

[Jenna]

And then imagine you have ways that you do things that you like. Things done that you've been doing for them their whole lives. I'm not being. People don't think they're being particular. They're just like, this is the most efficient way to do the thing, so let's do it that way. And then the kids don't do it that way.

[Kalila]

This is why I'm afraid of doing dishes.

[Esther]

Oh, my God. We've circled back to her incompetence.

[Kalila]

Because when I was younger, if I tried to do anything in the kitchen, I would get yelled at. I would get in trouble. So for me, the safest way to live is to just not do anything.

[Jenna]

You know what, Marmar? I'm with you. Because she's getting yelled at. Cause you. You're trying to help her do it correctly, efficiently.

[Kalila]

She's not trying to help me do it right.

[Jenna]

She said, why would she yell at you?

[Kalila]

She's. Because I did it wrong. And she.

[Jenna]

Exactly. So she wants you to do it right.

[Kalila]

No, she's not teaching me. She's not saying this.

[Jules]

But I do. I do feel like some people just don't know how to clean dishes. And I feel like that's you. So I guess it's fine that you get.

[Esther]

Yeah, because she would rather you leave it all in the sink. That's her. Because she'll get mad if she. This is what she does to me or her mom or anyone in the house. She won't say, atikalai, you've done this wrong. She'll make it so that she's with an eye shot and she's in the kitchen. She goes to the dish rack, the drying rack. She does this, and she makes it. She knows I'm watching. And then she'll rewash it. And I'm like, oh, she's trying to.

[Jenna]

Let you know you could, but did.

[Kalila]

You guys ever go to someone else's house when you were younger and you're like, these dishes are not clean. And it like, Traumatized you.

[Jenna]

I didn't care when I was younger. I care a lot now. I look at. Whenever I go to your house, I look at the cups every single time.

[Kalila]

Because the dishwasher doesn't do it.

[Jenna]

Yeah.

[Jules]

The detergent you're using.

[Jenna]

No, no, no.

[Kalila]

That's what she says. Is that because I'm using like a clean alternative detergent?

[Esther]

It could be. Actually, I think you're right. Because lately when we've been using the clean stuff for the baby, it just doesn't wash it.

[Kalila]

I know.

[Jenna]

I want to be in denial about this.

[Kalila]

Why? Oh, because you don't want to use.

[Jenna]

Because I don't. Because I'll never use it.

[Esther]

You're never going to use Cascade?

[Jenna]

No, it's whenever I people's homes and they have and I take a sip of water, the whole thing smells and tastes like Cascade.

[Esther]

Can I tell you, Jenna had a crash out in my house cuz we have from our water and she was like, I don't feel well. I drank a little bit of your water and like, I'm like having like palpitation.

[Kalila]

You were like, it's not Filipino water just because of them. Wait, this did happen.

[Esther]

Alkaline water, but it was like from those, like delivery service and acrylic containers.

[Jenna]

I was flipping out those days because I was having back to back heart episodes.

[Kalila]

What was wrong with your water?

[Jenna]

Nothing was wrong with her.

[Esther]

She's like, have you ever felt this way when you drink your water?

[Kalila]

I was like, no, I would shoot you.

[Jenna]

I said, I was like, it was either your water or something that I ate, like in my bag, which is like, most likely something I ate in my bag. And she's like, nope, it's the same water we give the baby. So it's not that I go, okay.

[Esther]

It's so funny. You don't look like a witch. You look like Captain Hook or some kind of like, pioneer.

[Kalila]

You don't look good. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. October 10th is World Mental Health Day. And this year we're saying thank you, therapists.

[Esther]

I think that what I get most out of therapy is I don't always connect the dots. It's such a relief when someone can do that for you. It's very validating. It makes me feel less alone. It makes me feel seen, understood, and it also makes me feel like I can tackle that feeling better.

[Kalila]

Help therapists are quality. They work according to a strict code of conduct and are fully licensed in the US and BetterHelp does the initial matching work for you so you can focus on your therapy goals. I have to say, that can be one of the most intimidating parts of getting a therapist is, like, how?

[Esther]

Who?

[Kalila]

What? And so the fact that they have this questionnaire and they can guide you is a huge asset of better help.

[Esther]

And this World Mental Health Day, we're celebrating the therapists who've helped millions of people take a step forward. If you're ready to find the right therapist for better help can help you start that journey. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.comtrashtuesday that's BetterHelp hlp.comtrash Tuesday.

[Host/Producer]

We've got some witches brew for you guys today. We decided to do, like, a potion break instead of a banana break.

[Kalila]

What is. It's so funny guy's voice, like, just the most, like, monotone guy.

[Host/Producer]

Apologize.

[Kalila]

No, for, like, the girly shit we have. You. Witches brew.

[Host/Producer]

There's matcha in there.

[Jenna]

He's like, yeah. So we got your witches brew here today because we decided to do that instead of a banana break.

[Kalila]

Yeah, bitches.

[Jenna]

Wait, this is the oat, right? Has it taste good? It's good.

[Esther]

Oh, you know I can't have matcha.

[Jules]

I'll take it.

[Jenna]

Jules is gonna drink everyone's.

[Esther]

What else is new?

[Kalila]

What else is new? I love saying that to Dave, like, in the morning. So what's new? He's like, like, yeah, you do that to me, too.

[Jenna]

We'll be hanging out for seven hours. She goes, so, what's new? It's like, bitch. What? Nothing's new. I've been sitting here rubbing your feet, massaging, making you pancakes, fixing your vacuum cleaner. You know what's new and you know what's old.

[Esther]

But there could be developments throughout the day.

[Kalila]

Yeah. Especially with you. Maybe you drink some bad water.

[Jenna]

It wasn't actually bad, but I'll be at your house the amount of times a day Esther texts me. Sup?

[Kalila]

Yo. Yes.

[Jenna]

What's going on, little.

[Jules]

Are you, like, a clingy friend?

[Kalila]

Yeah. Are you?

[Jenna]

No.

[Kalila]

No, you're not.

[Jenna]

I wouldn't. I don't see you as clingy, though. Although I guess you are.

[Kalila]

I am, but I can handle any kind of. You know.

[Jenna]

Yeah. That's the thing. Like, I'm never worried about hurting her feelings or saying the wrong thing. Like, she can be clingy, and I can uncling her and be like, get away. And she'll be like, okay, somebody's angry.

[Kalila]

I'm in trouble. Yeah. I like when you yell at me.

[Esther]

Do you share your location with Jennifer and everyone.

[Jenna]

Just me and Dave.

[Esther]

But whoever wants it. You're not like, precious about it.

[Kalila]

No. If anyone, Jenna has it. She won't give me hers, though. Yeah, why not?

[Jenna]

No, because of this reason.

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Jenna]

There was a time when I shared my location with you, like 10 years ago. I was like, sure, who cares? But the way that Esther checks it and wonders and is like mapping to me or asking, oh, I see you're here. What do. It's like, no, you lost it.

[Esther]

You lost your privilege.

[Jenna]

And you know what? It's not that there's even anything wrong with that.

[Esther]

There is. Please don't say there isn't.

[Jenna]

It's more so weird that I worry that I'm gonna have to like that it's gonna be more stressful for me, that I'm gonna have to answer a question about something, that I'm gonna have to tell her where I am. What? I'm getting pictures of what I ordered. Yeah, that's weird.

[Esther]

But then also I see that you're not the only one who's like this, because very recently I came across a person and a friend who I didn't know was like this. But she excessively tracks people in her life for no reason. Remember Jules?

[Jenna]

Maybe it's fun to her.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Esther]

Where she was literally reciting to us where this other friend of ours was.

[Kalila]

That sounds so funny.

[Esther]

She's downstairs in the parking lot. Oh, my God. She's downstairs in the parking lot.

[Kalila]

Okay.

[Esther]

She's in her car in a parking lot. Like, leave her the fuck alone. And why is she over here at this dim sum place? And we were.

[Jules]

Jules and I were like, oh, I was getting annoyed.

[Jenna]

Yeah, see, that's the thing with me, you know, I say too much. I would have just been like, why the fuck do you care? Let's move on.

[Kalila]

Do you share with anyone?

[Esther]

My sister and Jules. And that's it.

[Kalila]

What about Aloha?

[Esther]

Oh, we haven't gotten there. You know, we're very.

[Kalila]

You're not that close yet.

[Esther]

We're not that close. We have a baby. But you guys never go out Sarata, so. Well, I know that's not his choice. That's not my. I feel bad. I refuse to believe that parenting is anything but. But a tandem job. Solo parenting, not it for me. I don't think that parenting, even for a day, even for two hours, is a one person job. I think it should be two people there at all times for emotional support or whatever else it requires. When I'm at Work and Aloha's like, oh, cool. Like, I'll be alone with the baby. Nope. I require that my mom or Jules or somebody is there. If it's just Jules, I'll have my mom join her. It's a two person job.

[Kalila]

Why is that?

[Esther]

I. I don't. I just feel like it is. There needs to be a witness. Because, for example, especially this young, if they can't fend for themselves and someone has croaks or has a heart attack, there has to be a witness there to figure out to take care of the baby. Right. Like, and I think about this all the time. It's like, my mom, of course she can take care of the baby by herself.

[Kalila]

Frog. Is he croaking too often? Yes.

[Jenna]

Such a loser.

[Guest or occasional speaker]

Oh, my God.

[Esther]

Did you guys don't think about this or no. No.

[Jenna]

I will say that when I'm watching other people's kids. Ever since I started having, like, more prominent health issues, I do worry. What if I pass out? Because that's like, my fear.

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Jenna]

What if I pass out and the baby is just here on their own and so sometimes they'll be fine. Yeah.

[Esther]

Esther is like, you're much better than me. Because even when the early years of, like, just the newborn trenches or the early years, the early months of the newborn trenches, I couldn't breastfeed alone. I couldn't change a diaper alone. I needed someone there to witness. I was afraid. I have this, like, fear that I'm, like, doing something wrong, that I need correction, that I. Someone can like, maybe, you know, help me be better. And I just think that Aloha and I. He is my prisoner. He left for Seattle for some. For a doctor's appointment for. For literally less than 48 hours. And when I tell you after his appointment, I was like, take the first flight home. Like, you're not allowed to have a coffee anywhere. Like, you have to fly home. Like, this is a two person job.

[Jenna]

If there are no. Why are you leaving me alive?

[Kalila]

But were you ever alone or did you have.

[Esther]

I'm rarely alone. That's just not a life I want to live.

[Jenna]

That's not the life she wanted to live before she had a kid. So with kids, she's not living. She needs. Needs double the amount of people that she needed.

[Esther]

Tandem parenting. We are side by side, I would say.

[Kalila]

For all my fears, I've never been afraid of midday croaking, like, of anyone who my croaking.

[Jenna]

I feel like you're unlocking this new fear where I'm like, oh, man, people are gonna have a midday.

[Kalila]

My croaking. I will have more. I will. No.

[Esther]

Well, most people croak early morning, so you're safe there. Yeah.

[Jenna]

Why are you saying that?

[Kalila]

Why am I.

[Jenna]

Don't tell me that.

[Kalila]

Midday.

[Jenna]

Safe.

[Esther]

Yeah. So usually people croak from cardiac, like, implications anywhere between, like, 5:30am to like, 7:00am and it's because. Don't tell me that your arteries are tend to be a little bit less. Like, there's less movement. You're just waking up for your day, and then there's sudden movement. So most heart attacks actually happen.

[Jenna]

So I shouldn't do sudden movement in the morning?

[Kalila]

Oh, my God. What are you doing?

[Esther]

For you. You're not gonna early croak. I'm talking about, like, you know, people who have, like, comorbidities and cardiac problems.

[Jenna]

Well, I don't not have cardiac problems.

[Kalila]

Look, this is the witches episode. There's gotta be some spookiness.

[Esther]

Okay?

[Jenna]

No one's gonna croak. No one's gonna croak. Midday, mid morning.

[Esther]

Mid drive is one of my biggest ones.

[Kalila]

Mid drive.

[Esther]

That's why I need someone in the car. Like, no person is allowed to drive my baby by themselves. There has to be maybe a person who's gonna grab the wheel in case driver croaks.

[Jenna]

Esther would let her baby drive.

[Guest or occasional speaker]

Like, are you kidding?

[Esther]

Waymo.

[Guest or occasional speaker]

You fucking would. Well, she's all right. Most people are fine.

[Kalila]

She's all right.

[Esther]

I do realize this is everything to do with postpartum anxiety. And I will, you know, rise from. From this.

[Kalila]

You will rise from that.

[Esther]

I will actually feel the death.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Jenna]

You know, Esther loves to have two people around as the judge when it's not her doing the work. So, like, when you. When you're the one doing something, whether it's like. Like cleaning her baby's diaper for her, or like, a couple days ago, I was over there making these pancakes that she wanted me to make, but I had never made them before. And then she told me how to make them, and she's like, okay, I'm gonna go lay back down. She did not. She stood there in the kitchen with me, this close to me, this close. And I'm like, bro, can you give me some space? And she's like, oh. And it's not even like she was there to help me, because she could have been like, oh. So now that usually I look at.

[Kalila]

Her face, I wanted to see.

[Esther]

You are a tiger mom. You're a tiger mom in, like, in disguise.

[Jenna]

I think Cause it's not helicopter. Where she was managing. Cause Esther doesn't know how to manage anything. She was just, like, wanted to look and, like, ooh.

[Kalila]

I wanted to see how you were making the pancakes.

[Jenna]

It was making it worse. And then I made her leave the kitchen, close the door, and locked her out from the kitchen. She did lock me out because it was bad. I was like, I can't make these without you.

[Esther]

And then under pressure.

[Jenna]

No. And then I was flipping them, and I was burning them. And as soon as she left. Perfect Pancake cakes.

[Esther]

Yeah. I mean, I feel that I wouldn't want.

[Jenna]

What's that face?

[Kalila]

I instructed you how to make them. You. So I'm the chef and you're the cook. I needed to watch you. I honestly wanted to see how you did it, because I usually do it bad.

[Jenna]

I did do them better than you normally do.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Jenna]

I made her get different spatulas because she was using to flip pancakes. You know, the long, stainless steel, hard, thin.

[Kalila]

A brownie.

[Jenna]

Brownie for a piece of cake. That's what she was using to flip her pancakes.

[Kalila]

Nobody cares. Let's move on.

[Esther]

I feel like that's not a bad choice, though.

[Jenna]

That's why your pancakes were never coming out, because it was this small.

[Kalila]

Kalila is on my side.

[Jenna]

She's not.

[Esther]

I'm not. It never was. Crazy. You're crazy. I called you a tiger mom.

[Kalila]

Only over Jenna, though. Not over Ace.

[Host/Producer]

We have a little trick or treat game for you guys. We have some sluggies. They've submitted some comments and questions. Some are treats. They're, like, nice. Nice in nature, and some are tricks, and they're, like, a little bit vulnerable, maybe snarky a little bit. They're from the YouTube comment section on our videos. Yeah.

[Kalila]

Lord, thank God. I got a treat.

[Host/Producer]

You got a treat.

[Kalila]

Jenna gets only tricks.

[Jenna]

Yeah. I only want tricks.

[Host/Producer]

First treat comment for Esther is. You ladies are incredible. Hearing the emotions and tears and the real talk means so much to me. I needed to hear this perspective and to do some personal searching as well. Thank you.

[Kalila]

That's so nice. But that does feel like it's more.

[Esther]

For Kalila because I feel like I've been the crier.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Esther]

Lately, I've been crying a lot.

[Kalila]

I'm so bad at. It's. I don't know.

[Esther]

You're bad at crying.

[Jenna]

Finish your sentence.

[Kalila]

It's really hard for me to get real and vulnerable. Like on the podcast. Like. Like, even every time I have been. It's like I have, like, a mask on where I'm like, so this crazy thing happened. And, like, I'm like, I still think.

[Jenna]

That you're real and honest and genuine. I think there's a difference between that and maybe what you're talking about is like, just being vulnerable.

[Esther]

Yeah. And I think that it really just has to do. Like, I really. It's been like an issue since I was young. I. I cry really easy. Like, I'm. Do you, Jules?

[Jules]

Oh, my God.

[Kalila]

Oh, maybe it's the Lexapro.

[Esther]

Oh, my sister did say that she has a hard time crying on Lexapro.

[Kalila]

Yeah, I do too.

[Jenna]

But I can make you cry.

[Kalila]

But, like, just to be like. Because truly this is the first time a recording since like a major tragedy happened. Of course I'm laughing. We had a major tragedy in my family. Like, four days ago, my niece and nephew's father passed away, like, in the way that is complicated. Where he lost his mental health battle. And like, it's just been so hard and like, I don't know where Is my mom crying?

[Jenna]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

Okay. She's crying for me. But yeah, it's like, that's the way I talk about it is I'm like laughing and I'm not really present in the feelings of it because I just. There's like cameras and lights and I. I don't know. It's really weird. I'm. There's something wrong.

[Jenna]

No, I think it makes full sense. It's hard with all of this to be present and to be able to like, sit with what you're feeling. It's distracting.

[Kalila]

Like, maybe I'm like in an escape mode here or something. But yeah, it's like this horrible tragedy. Like now, like these two teenagers who I love more than anything, like. Like, how do I deal with. I have no concept of what it's like to be a teenager and your parent took their own life. I can't. That's a concept. That is so. I don't know, it's just. And I feel so bad for these children. Obviously, I feel bad for, you know, he was my brother in law, at least at a time. My sister and him had divorced, you know, about 10 years ago, but he was still a great father to them and he was a good person. He just was struggling with mental health issues. And what makes it even more complicated is like, I don't know if you guys feel this, but when people sort of like, you've heard people say, like, they threaten it, you know, like, I'm gonna take my own life. And I. I've always in My experience felt like those are the people where. Where they're just, like, playing with you and fucking manipulating you. He had threatened it, and I just had not taken that seriously. And, you know, not that it's whatever. Wasn't my position to step in and do anything, but I'm just so. It's almost like I'm more blindsided or something in a way. Like the fact that he was, like, threatening it, which sounds really stupid and weird.

[Esther]

No, it makes sense. I think that. Yeah. It's so layered and complicated. You're not wrong. Like, it is an emotionally abusive thing to tell someone if you don't do this. I'm gonna take my own life. Because that's. I've done. I've been in relationships where someone has threatened that. Right.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Esther]

And you're like, I still. I cannot be in this. Yeah. And it's. It feels horrible in that moment because you think you're responsible for this person's, like, well, being. Right.

[Jenna]

But also, like you said, it feels in those moments like they're saying it to threaten it versus as a truth.

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Jenna]

So now it's like you said, really blindsiding you. And like, wait, this could be a thing where if someone says that, they actually could mean it.

[Kalila]

And then it also makes me feel like. And I know this sounds really dark, but I'm just like, this is. Suicide is not preventable. I'm like, it just feels like if someone is gonna do it, like, you're don't. Like, good luck. Like, there's no prevention. And I know that's. I shouldn't say that. That's irresponsible to say, but it is just how I feel like after having a couple of these now, like, especially this year. And then the other thing that comes up for me is like, you know, when I was in my postpartum, like, hardcore self hatred, anxiety, through the roof. And like, I went back on my Lexapro and that medication adjustment, it really did nearly cost me my life. Like, I was never going to do that. But it got me so low where I was like, oh, my God. I see. It's when you feel like you're in a burning building and, like, the only way is to jump out. Like, there's no choice. And I just. Having that experience and, like, feeling that little bit of, like, what it must feel like when you make that decision. I just feel so scared and sad and, I don't know, just kind of monologuing. I'm sure my mom is crying hard. I'm sorry. Mom.

[Esther]

I'm sorry.

[Kalila]

My mom has been having a really hard time. Obviously she cries a lot, but we make fun of her that she likes to cry. Sorry.

[Jenna]

Love you, Mar. Mar.

[Kalila]

Anyways, so that's my treat. Trick or treat.

[Jenna]

That's all for today. Thank you so much for being.

[Esther]

That really does suck and I'm so sorry.

[Kalila]

Yeah, thank you. Thanks for letting me share it in, like, my own way.

[Jenna]

This feels awkward for me to just. Jenna needs a trick.

[Esther]

Trick.

[Host/Producer]

This was related to the Ian episode. The chaos of it. Someone said, oh, man, this is trash.

[Jenna]

Duh. Did you not read the title?

[Host/Producer]

I think it might be kind of a compliment maybe as well.

[Jenna]

Oh, thank you. I mean, anytime someone says that I'm trash, I just think it's. I've been calling myself trash for like 20 years. I like it. I think it's cute.

[Esther]

She beat you to it.

[Jenna]

Which. Which Ian episode?

[Esther]

Last episode.

[Host/Producer]

One that just came out with the bobbing for oranges.

[Esther]

I think it did.

[Jenna]

Oh, yeah, we were. We were fucking nasty.

[Esther]

I thought it was really wholesome. I thought quite the opposite.

[Jenna]

Yeah, the amount of water and stuff that was going everywhere felt like nasty.

[Esther]

I got sick from that orange water, by the way.

[Jenna]

Oh, no, see, sometimes it's the water.

[Esther]

You were like, I'm not going in there. I'm gonna get sick. I got sick from it. So there you go. That's the trash.

[Jenna]

Like, what else? Okay, well, try again next time. Yeah, yeah.

[Esther]

Treat.

[Jenna]

Damn if everyone gets a treat except for me.

[Host/Producer]

Last family episode. You're on, Jwes. Someone commented, I always feel like I'm hanging out with my best girlfriends when I'm watching you guys. Love that vibe.

[Esther]

Oh, cute.

[Jules]

That's nice.

[Jenna]

Sweet.

[Esther]

She doesn't know how to take compliments.

[Jenna]

I will say that every single Trash Tuesday fan that I have met is genuinely the kindest, nicest human ever. I was doing a bank atm.

[Esther]

Can you just roll the tapes real quick? The way you just stared right at her nipples just now.

[Host/Producer]

Well, they're showing.

[Esther]

While she was talking about how great our fans are.

[Kalila]

They're showing.

[Jenna]

What do you mean, the showing?

[Esther]

Rewind on her eyes. Like searing holes through Jenna's tits.

[Jenna]

What do you mean they're showing?

[Kalila]

They're showing.

[Guest or occasional speaker]

What do you mean?

[Esther]

What?

[Kalila]

I mean you're wearing a tight, light colored top with no bra. They're showing.

[Jules]

It's nice.

[Kalila]

There's nothing wrong with it. Kalilah's the one making it something bad.

[Jenna]

You can't see them.

[Esther]

Esther, let me know if I'm the one Making it something bad. Please rewind.

[Guest or occasional speaker]

Esther's the one making a thing bad.

[Jenna]

Please blur that.

[Esther]

No, I can't.

[Jenna]

And then zoom in on Esther's eyes. Anyway.

[Kalila]

Oh, my God.

[Jenna]

Can you focus? My face is up here. I'm speaking up here. She can't look at me because she can't handle it. So I was doing a bank withdrawal at an ATM at this bank.

[Kalila]

Obviously, she's, like, nervous because her crush is here.

[Jenna]

Your mom.

[Guest or occasional speaker]

And so I thought that someone was.

[Jenna]

Like, approaching me, and I got, like. I got, like, a little. Because she approached me in, like, a. A standoffish type of way without saying anything, and I just go like, oh, that one doesn't work. You can use this one. She goes, are you Jenna? I'm thinking, like, does she just see my bank statement? She's like, I'm such a fan of Trash Tuesday. You guys, honestly are the best. And I'm Filipina, and I just want to say that I love you guys so much, and it makes me feel like I'm at home and, like, I'm hanging out with my friends. And then she was like, thank you, and then left and went back into the bank.

[Kalila]

That's sweet.

[Jenna]

So, so sweet. Like, two times a week, I feel like I encounter someone who just wants to say how grateful that they are for this podcast and then just like, let me be on my way.

[Esther]

That's so sweet.

[Kalila]

Oh, I forgot there was a girl at my Portland show that wants to date you. Pretty. Yeah.

[Jules]

Do you have her info?

[Kalila]

I can find her. TikTok.

[Jules]

Send it to me.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Esther]

All right.

[Kalila]

I promise. I would tell you I chose Trish.

[Jenna]

Thank God.

[Esther]

God, it's getting a little too sweet.

[Host/Producer]

Not to piss off Kalila, but I think shoulder length hair really suits Jules.

[Jules]

No, it doesn't.

[Kalila]

We didn't try shoulder.

[Jenna]

No, no, no. It's got to be above the shoulder or below the shoulder.

[Jules]

Shoulder length is above and shoulder.

[Esther]

No.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Esther]

You're sabotaging my sweet niece. How dare you?

[Jules]

No, we've tried. I always just have, like, a mental breakdown, and I just want to cut my hair, and every time I do it, it's just. Was a bad decision.

[Jenna]

Well, what if you do even shorter?

[Esther]

She's gone very short. She's gone to here, right?

[Jenna]

Yeah.

[Jules]

Helped me cut it, like, straight because it was just.

[Esther]

Yeah, because she just went blindly in the dark and just took scissors like this.

[Jenna]

I'll cut your hair. I'll do a good job. Do you think I could? I would love to use your hair to do, like, hair plugs.

[Jules]

I can give you some.

[Kalila]

Is that how hair plugs work?

[Jenna]

They take, like, from the back of your hair? Why do you.

[Esther]

Why would you do it?

[Jenna]

What? Because I'm so thin up here now.

[Esther]

Oh, I thought you meant you were gonna do it to Jules.

[Jenna]

No, no, I want to take some of her hair and put it.

[Kalila]

You do not need it.

[Esther]

I think you need your own hair so that you don't reject because you could possibly reject hers.

[Jenna]

Damn.

[Esther]

We'll go to Turkey. I'll go with you.

[Kalila]

Are you gonna get it too?

[Esther]

This is gonna sound really obnoxious, and I don't mean to flex. I didn't think this could happen, but since I removed all silicones and petrochemicals from, like, my hair care, my everyday. My hair came back with a fury. And when I was pregnant, I had so much hair. And even with postpartum hair loss loss, I still have a lot of hair. And I am shocked.

[Jenna]

That's amazing.

[Esther]

I never thought that because I was like, oh, I'm just getting older. My hair is thinning, and it's just gonna be this way. And it turns out, like, silicone was blocking any nourishment from really, like, entering my roots and evolution club. Ev. I've been using it for years. And I'm saying this not as, like, a marketing thing for my own.

[Jenna]

No, because you were paranoid about your hair.

[Esther]

Me up and I look back now at my hair before my hair now, and I'm like, oh, like, this is it. This was the missing thing. I was putting nasty shit in my hair.

[Jenna]

Go to eboceanclub.com if you also want your hair back.

[Kalila]

Wait, I want to get unnecessary hair transplants, but where you don't need it. Like, no, like, instead of getting, like, extensions or like, yeah, maybe just get the surgeries.

[Esther]

But you have incredible hair.

[Kalila]

Yeah, but I could do better.

[Jenna]

Like, my hair used to be so thick that I. I had those shears that were like that that I would thin my hair on my own up until I was, like, 29. And then my hair up here for my hormones just started thinning, thinning, thinning, thinning.

[Jules]

You can do it on your eyebrows, right?

[Esther]

Yeah, I think Chrissy Teigen did on her eyebrows. But then it doesn't grow as eyebrow hair. It grows as if you get it from your pubes. You will get pubes up here, and you have to keep cutting your eyebrows.

[Kalila]

Ew.

[Esther]

Damn.

[Jenna]

Wait, that's like our friend who got the. The. That, like, skin graft from her pubic.

[Esther]

Nobody believes me when I tell that story.

[Jenna]

And now she grows like cubes on her hand. This one little area in her hand.

[Esther]

Thank you for confirming that it's real.

[Kalila]

You should get one on your chin.

[Jenna]

So I can have little goatee. I probably already.

[Kalila]

That would fit your personality.

[Jenna]

Thank you. I think a mustache, like, a really good mustache that would look so good on you. Like, yo, what's up?

[Esther]

I'm Juan. I don't need help with that.

[Jenna]

I have a mustache, but not like a grown grown one. Where I could like.

[Kalila]

It would look so right on you to have a mustache.

[Jenna]

I would look hot.

[Esther]

Can you pull up cantin floss here, Jenna, what do you think? Look at canteen floss. Just a little side right here. Like right here.

[Jenna]

I'm into it.

[Kalila]

That would go so well.

[Jenna]

It's like the opposite of Hitler, so I like it.

[Esther]

She said that would go well with your nipples.

[Jenna]

She said, thank you, Esther. Take your pick.

[Kalila]

I'm going to just pick trick.

[Esther]

Everyone picks trick.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Jenna]

I pick one treat, maybe. No.

[Jules]

No.

[Kalila]

Okay.

[Esther]

No, thanks.

[Host/Producer]

Someone said, I'm gonna be a hater and say, esther, that Prada bag is ugly. If you have money for Prada, get a cute one.

[Kalila]

I don't understand this. I. I disagree.

[Jenna]

What's your Prada bag?

[Kalila]

This bag is a classic mom bag. I'm gonna have this for the rest of my days. It goes. Let me tell you something. Gen Z, you got.

[Esther]

I was.

[Kalila]

I was your age once, and I fired up guys. She's fire mini bag, right? And then, guess what? You're out. You're about. It slides down or you're having to hold it. I get it looks cute. I know it's a vibe. It's a moment, but that's it.

[Jenna]

It's only good for a moment.

[Esther]

That's functional.

[Kalila]

You're gonna want function. You're gonna want hands free. Okay, you know what? And this is classy.

[Esther]

This is.

[Kalila]

I bought it at the airport in Rome. Okay. You can't fight me.

[Esther]

And also, it's a perfect. It's kind of like city mouse like you. You can fit diaper, some wipes, everything you need for your baby.

[Kalila]

I know it's not in style to wear crossbody, but that will come back.

[Jenna]

At some point between I hate purses. And when they said that you had a Prada bag, I was like, ew. And then I realized it's that one. That one is a. Yes. It looks like a Kipling bag. It's amazing.

[Kalila]

And I have the mini Prada bag, but it's too annoying to use any.

[Jenna]

Bag that you have to hold like this or like this is, is, is a no.

[Kalila]

Jules, you've been quiet over there. What do you think?

[Jules]

I'm still getting used to the cross body.

[Kalila]

I, I. You don't like. I can't. Yeah, the Gen Z's don't like it.

[Jenna]

I guess it still hold it like this.

[Jules]

Yeah, I don't mind it.

[Kalila]

In my teen years, we did that too with the coach bags. And I just, it's then my shoulders like this, and it hurts.

[Jenna]

And also if it's a little handle. No, like, what are you doing there? Are you having Cute.

[Esther]

That's what I imagine is the little handle. It's just not functional.

[Jenna]

Oh, no, I'm talking about like, like a big.

[Esther]

Oh, that one's fine. Yeah.

[Kalila]

I just know that you guys feel that way, and I don't feel that way, Okay? I want my hands free. I want to be out in the world. I, I don't. You know what if I'm walking and I want to eat a slice of pizza while I'm walking and it has.

[Jenna]

A zipper, like, that's a bag versus, like, a little purse where it's, like.

[Kalila]

When you defend it, it makes me feel like it's not good.

[Jenna]

I mean, I don't like it, and I would never get it for myself. But I'm trying to have your back, witch.

[Kalila]

I just think you can't go wrong with a little black bag.

[Jenna]

I mean, I don't like it, and I would never have it for myself again. Okay, good.

[Kalila]

But it's a shame. It would look good on you.

[Esther]

Tricked for Jenna.

[Jenna]

I guess I'll get another trick everyone's getting.

[Kalila]

It's an all tricks round.

[Jenna]

Three, six, Monica, three six Mafia.

[Host/Producer]

With the utmost peace and love. I've always thought Jenna's usual hair gives. Lord Farqua.

[Kalila]

Hold the picture. Yeah, now I can't unsee it.

[Guest or occasional speaker]

I don't even have anything to say because it's like, listen, you're not wrong, but it sucks and it's sad, and you can't say that with the utmost peace and love. If it was with the utmost peace and love, you wouldn't have said it.

[Kalila]

And you know what?

[Guest or occasional speaker]

With the least utmost peace and love.

[Jenna]

I just want to tell you you're not wrong. Where am I looking? You're not wrong. Okay, okay. But I was just talking about how I wanted a hair transplant because I'm lacking in hair up here and have hair over here because of my hormones. And that is why I look like Lord McFar Kuhar.

[Kalila]

It's like, really?

[Jenna]

That sucks.

[Kalila]

Doesn't he wear a hat like that? That sucks.

[Jenna]

But that's okay that you think that because it's true.

[Kalila]

Taking it like a champ.

[Jules]

I'll do a trick.

[Jenna]

Yeah, I'll cry when I leave.

[Host/Producer]

Believe this one is actually a question. If you could pick one person, who would you hex? If you could?

[Jenna]

And hex, Come on, girl. There's. Yeah, it's very easy.

[Esther]

She's gonna go with Zoe Kravitz because she's dating Harry Styles.

[Jules]

No, I was gonna go to 30.

[Esther]

All right, decent choice.

[Jules]

The ex president in the Philippines, Rodrigo Duterte.

[Esther]

Yeah, a lot of like very unjust killings.

[Jenna]

That's a great choice of his own. People people consider him hexed.

[Jules]

Or Zoe Kravitz.

[Jenna]

Zoe Kravitz is dating Harry Styles.

[Esther]

I know. He likes older women.

[Jules]

I don't understand.

[Jenna]

Oh my God, Kravitz is like so young.

[Jules]

No, but Harry's 29.

[Esther]

He's only 29. He's already lost all his hair.

[Jules]

Yeah, he's bald, but it's okay.

[Esther]

He got an fue in Turkey.

[Jenna]

Wait, wasn't Zoe Kravitz just dating Channing?

[Esther]

Yeah, yeah, now she's with Harry.

[Jules]

I know, I'm so sad. But at least he's like dating brown girls, you know?

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Esther]

Give me my dagger.

[Host/Producer]

He's always crack me up because everyone misspells your name. Since when? Kila is mom. Explain it to me.

[Esther]

Since when? Oh, I spelled it K, O, L. Kila is mine. Yeah, I'm not going to explain to.

[Jenna]

This ding dong since when? It's like, just watch. Since when you spell her name right. Right. Someone explain to me, please.

[Kalila]

Well, when a man and a woman.

[Esther]

Yeah, Esther, can you explain how babies.

[Kalila]

Are made when they're in love?

[Jenna]

Is this how you're gonna explain it to Ace?

[Kalila]

They're only gonna do what my parents did and let the teachers explain it.

[Jenna]

When they're in love.

[Kalila]

They didn't explain anything to me.

[Host/Producer]

This one might be a little backhanded. You know I like about this pod is that you have four women. Not one of them is ever all dolled up. No glam girls, no makeup, just natural beauty. It's rather refreshing. I can't think of another pod before women. Barefaced beauty.

[Kalila]

I literally am.

[Guest or occasional speaker]

You know what, that's funny. I'm backhanded as.

[Kalila]

Oh my God, I'm wearing all my best makeup right now.

[Esther]

Me too.

[Guest or occasional speaker]

I literally was in here. I feel like, this is a fucking powder.

[Esther]

Are you kidding me?

[Guest or occasional speaker]

I tried. It gets for us.

[Esther]

This isn't bare faced, baby.

[Kalila]

I try so hard. No, but we're b. We dress like shit and we don't do, like, glam.

[Jenna]

We're not having someone do our makeup. We're not, like, really doing it up. We're doing, like, natural day makeup.

[Esther]

That is true. But this is. I mean, let's be real. Like, there was effort involved for me every day, and it doesn't seem like it.

[Kalila]

You do have makeup on today every time.

[Esther]

No, I mean, not a lot, but I do put a blush and I do put a little bit of eyeliner. I don't have a lip color today day.

[Jenna]

Neither do I. I don't think lip.

[Kalila]

Color looks good on anyone.

[Jenna]

Okay.

[Esther]

I swear.

[Jenna]

That's sweet.

[Esther]

Anyone? Anyone? Just like, you just want to be pale and crusty.

[Kalila]

It's not pale. It's the color of your lips. That's what.

[Esther]

But look at the color of my natural color of my lips. They're looking at pale.

[Jenna]

No, you have very good color. Mine is two toned. I have a different color.

[Jules]

Oh, yours is too dark.

[Esther]

No, it's not. No. Are you kidding me? You should give in to the haters.

[Jenna]

You're so stupid. Jewelry. If you want to do a hex on Duterte. If you want to do a hex on him, do a fucking hex on yourself, okay? Because you're being racist toward yourself right now.

[Kalila]

I'm just saying it's dark.

[Jenna]

You said. No, you do, because you said mine is too dark.

[Esther]

I have a bone to pick with people on the Internet as it pertains to my lips, by the way. Like, Bobby did this thing on tiger belly where I showed up to one of the episodes. He's like, why are your lips so big? And ever since, since then, people are like, you're so grotesquely blown up. All the fillers you get on your lips. I always had big lips, though.

[Jenna]

And your cheeks are just naturally like, I'm so sorry.

[Esther]

And this is like a constant thing I'm getting because Bobby said your lips are so big. So now they believe that I've gotten. When do I have the time with a half paralyzed face?

[Jenna]

You couldn't get a new baby paralyzed face.

[Esther]

So you guys, for thinking I'm doing anything to my my face, I would if I could, but not right now.

[Jenna]

What if I could, but I can't, so I won't. Someone also the same person who wrote to you?

[Esther]

Oh, yeah, he did say the same to you about your lips.

[Jenna]

Same thing about my lips and my face. And then I'm getting a bunch of stuff done. And really, I would just like to say thank you. You know, I love when people think maybe someday.

[Kalila]

All right.

[Esther]

Grotesque. My lips are not grotesque.

[Kalila]

From the grotesque girls of your dreams. We thank you for this, for being here, for our witchiness, and we love you guys. And we'll see you next week with a brand new episode. And now we're going to the Patreon.