Ian Fidance & Jenna Jiménez are Rated: R

Summary

Podcast Summary: Trash Tuesday Episode Featuring Ian Fidance & Jenna Jiménez

Episode Information

• Title: Ian Fidance & Jenna Jiménez are Rated: R
• Release Date: February 25, 2025
• Hosts: Khalyla Kuhn & Esther Povitsky
• Guests: Ian Fidance & Jenna Jiménez

---

Introduction

In this energetic and unfiltered episode of Trash Tuesday, hosts Khalyla Kuhn and Esther Povitsky welcome comedians Ian Fidance and Jenna Jiménez for a candid conversation filled with humor, personal anecdotes, and thought-provoking discussions. The episode, aptly titled "Ian Fidance & Jenna Jiménez are Rated: R," delves into themes of healing from heartbreak, navigating complex relationships, dealing with online backlash, and the pressures of self-image.

---

Healing After a Breakup: Distract vs. Embrace the Pain

The episode kicks off with Kalila posing a poignant question about the best way to heal after a painful breakup: Should one distract themselves by immersing in work, or should they sit with the pain and process their emotions?

• Kalila: "With a breakup like that, you threw yourself into the work getting busy. What is better for healing? To distract yourself or to just sit in the pain and the filth of the broken pieces of your heart?" [00:00]

• Esther: "Deal with it later. You have to wait because I..." [00:15]

This exchange sparks a lively debate among the hosts and guests about different coping mechanisms, with Jenna labeling it a "trick question" and teasing the hosts about their emotional approaches.

---

The Story of Faking Death: A Humorous Take

A humorous segment unfolds as Ian Fidance shares a bizarre anecdote about an ex-boyfriend who allegedly faked his own death. The discussion becomes a mix of skepticism and laughter as they dissect the plausibility of such an event in the digital age.

• Kalila: "He faked his own death. It made it to the news." [25:13]

• Esther: "I hate the fact that we have to change how we Speak. Because of the algorithm." [28:47]

The group explores the challenges of faking one's death today, given the pervasive nature of social media and digital footprints, culminating in playful banter and disbelief.

---

Navigating Relationships and Authenticity

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to Esther's experiences with relationships, particularly her openness about dating trans women and the subsequent online backlash she faced. This section highlights the tension between authentic self-expression and societal expectations.

• Esther: "I had a joke, and I was talking about being bisexual. I'm like, you know, I date men, women, trans women..." [18:19]

• Jenna: "My whole time publicly being like, it's okay to be with these people." [21:34]

Esther discusses how her genuine relationships have been misinterpreted and criticized online, leading to a broader conversation about cancel culture and the complexity of identity and acceptance.

• Esther: "People are always gonna feel, well, the thing is, I." [21:34]

• Kalila: "Something about what you're saying triggers their own self hatred and it throws them." [23:20]

This honest dialogue underscores the importance of staying true to oneself despite external pressures and highlights the diverse reactions individuals face when addressing sensitive topics.

---

Self-Image, Aging, and Societal Pressures

The conversation shifts towards personal insecurities, aging, and the societal obsession with youth and appearance. Jenna and Esther open up about their struggles with self-image, leading to a relatable discussion for many listeners.

• Jenna: "I've been freaking out recently about wrinkles on my forehead, but I won't get Botox because I'm afraid." [52:35]

• Kalila: "I have Bell's palsy...I have no wrinkles here, it sends me into a panic..." [53:53]

Esther humorously adds, "I'm constantly grabbing my belly and being like, you stupid pig." [50:25], while the group discusses the double standards in how men and women approach their bodies and aging.

---

Family Dynamics and Boundaries

A heartfelt segment emerges as the hosts and guests share stories about their relationships with their parents, touching on topics like boundaries, cultural expectations, and personal space.

• Jenna: "When I was younger and I used to moon, one time my mom came to school to pick me up...she was like, oh, darling, your tits are bigger." [35:55]

• Kalila: "It's like a cultural thing...my mom wants to see it." [36:08]

These stories illustrate the challenge of maintaining healthy boundaries within families, especially when cultural norms clash with personal comfort levels.

---

Humorous Segments and Banter: Mafia Hierarchy and More

The episode is interspersed with light-hearted and comedic segments, including a playful discussion about where each person would fall in a Mafia hierarchy.

• Kalila: "Do you think that you or any of you would be. Where would you fall in the hierarchy of a mafia?" [46:24]

• Esther: "I would be the consigliere." [48:35]

• Jenna: "I would be the TaskRabbit and someone who calms someone down." [49:06]

This segment showcases the group's chemistry and ability to inject humor into serious topics, keeping the conversation engaging and entertaining.

---

Coping with Online Criticism and Embracing Individuality

Returning to the theme of authenticity, the hosts delve deeper into how Esther copes with online criticism and the importance of embracing one's individuality despite external negativity.

• Esther: "I can’t change what I like just because I find out someone's a piece of shit." [16:35]

• Jenna: "My dates are online. IanFinance.com..." [32:47]

The conversation emphasizes resilience and the significance of maintaining personal integrity in the face of adversity, inspiring listeners to stand firm in their beliefs and choices.

---

Closing Thoughts and Promotions

As the episode wraps up, the hosts and guests share final thoughts on personal growth, self-acceptance, and the value of supportive friendships. They also promote their respective projects and upcoming events.

• Esther: "I'll see you guys next week with a brand new episode, a rated R episode. Bye." [61:11]

• Kalila: "Shop Skims Best intimates... After you place your order, be sure to let them know we sent you..." [35:18]

The episode concludes on a positive and uplifting note, encouraging listeners to engage with the podcast community and stay tuned for future content.

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Notable Quotes

• Esther: "If everybody likes you, then you're doing something wrong, 100%." [17:19]

• Jenna: "I have the chills again up that." [51:45]

• Ian: "I think it's so unfair because I asked for it on the way in, but now I absolutely have to." [38:17]

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Conclusion

This episode of Trash Tuesday offers a blend of humor, vulnerability, and insightful discussions. Khalyla Kuhn, Esther Povitsky, Ian Fidance, and Jenna Jiménez navigate through personal stories and societal issues with authenticity and wit, making it a compelling listen for fans and newcomers alike. Whether you're seeking laughter, relatability, or deep conversations about identity and resilience, this episode delivers on all fronts.

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Follow Trash Tuesday:

• Instagram: @itstrashtuesday
• TikTok: Trash Tuesday TikTok
• YouTube: Hit Our Buttons

Connect with Hosts:

• Khalyla Kuhn: @khalamityk
• Esther Povitsky: @esthermonster

Patreon: Access exclusive content and support the show here.

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This summary captures the essence of the episode, highlighting key discussions, notable quotes, and the dynamic interactions among the hosts and guests. For a more immersive experience, tuning into the full episode is highly recommended.

Transcript

[Kalila]

I have a question for you guys. With a breakup like that, you threw yourself into the work getting busy. What is better for healing? To distract yourself or to just sit in the pain and the filth of the broken pieces of your heart?

[Esther]

Deal with it later. You have to wait because I. What?

[Kalila]

This is such a guy answer.

[Jenna]

Oh my God.

[Kalila]

This is why you guys never feel.

[Jenna]

By the way.

[Kalila]

It's a trick question. It was a trick question.

[Esther]

You've. Do you hear me right now? I am healed. And this one's like, ah, I'm chills with the communication. What are you talking about?

[Kalila]

Shop Skims Best intimates, including the Fits Everybody collection and [e-mail] and skim stores. After you place your order, be sure to let them know we sent you select podcast in a survey and and be sure to select our show in the dropdown menu that follows. Coming to Chicago.

[Ian Finance]

That's right. I'm going to be doing four standup shows in Chicago, March 21st and 22nd. Are those the dates?

[Kalila]

Yes, they are.

[Ian Finance]

And I'll be at the Den theater and you can get tickets at the link below. And I cannot wait. These shows are going to be so much fun. We're going to hang. It's going to be so great. I have so much planned. So Chicago, I will see you guys March 21st and 22nd.

[Kalila]

Kalila, Esther.

[Ian Finance]

So we have the coolest thing ever that we started. And it's the official Trash Tuesday Patreon.

[Kalila]

I think it is the place to be. Honestly, I am so relieved we have one. It's not even because we want you to have this. It's really for me. I joined.

[Jenna]

I actually joined.

[Kalila]

I know. You did join.

[Ian Finance]

Wait, you actually did?

[Jenna]

So's a Trash Tuesday fan. Yeah.

[Ian Finance]

All proceeds right now are going towards people who are in need from the fires. And if you join right now, if you haven't joined yet, there's two vlogs up there. There's at least three full episodes. We've been kind of low key over delivering on our Patreon.

[Kalila]

I mean, a lot secrets, maybe a lot of juicy stuff.

[Jenna]

Okay, Dan.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah. There's the stuff that's coming. You're gonna want to be around for it. So please join our Patreon. We are so happy to have this special place with you guys. And you can get all the info at the link below. And thank you to our golden sluggies, Thomas, Kia, Anthony, Chrysantha and Ariel. Welcome back, Ian Finance, one of our favorites.

[Esther]

Hey, thank you for having me.

[Kalila]

Boy, have I missed You.

[Esther]

I've missed you.

[Kalila]

I love you so much.

[Ian Finance]

You were just saying you love la.

[Esther]

Don't put that on camera.

[Kalila]

New York.

[Esther]

No, I love la.

[Ian Finance]

Why? What's going on?

[Esther]

It's just great. It's. I. It's like, such a rejuvenating place. The sun. I love a car. Everybody here drives like, a. So I get to like, vroom, vroom around, you know?

[Jenna]

Sounds like he comes here for, like, a spa day.

[Esther]

It's true. Do you go to the Korean spa last night? Yeah.

[Kalila]

Which one?

[Esther]

Bobby took me to we Spa.

[Kalila]

Of course. I want to high five you, but I can't.

[Esther]

Let's do eight. Yes.

[Jenna]

Every time you guys want to high five, we'll just high five.

[Esther]

Yeah. Oh, I want to kiss her.

[Jenna]

Wait, can we talk about when we. The last time I went to we Spa was actually with you. And the reason I don't go there anymore was because there was poop on the ledge of one of the hot tubs.

[Esther]

What?

[Jenna]

Yes.

[Esther]

Well, I don't.

[Kalila]

I feel like that's just performance art. And allowed.

[Esther]

I didn't have my glasses, so I couldn't see. So I'm walking around naked going, bobby, Bobby, where are you? It was out of control.

[Kalila]

This is the first time you've been, like, naked in front of him.

[Esther]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Kalila]

How was it?

[Jenna]

It was great.

[Kalila]

Was he being weird? No, because it's sort of like his power move, right? Where it's like he has. He makes you parody. Oh, you did?

[Esther]

Oh, yeah. I alpha dogged out of.

[Kalila]

I was thinking you would be the only person to do that because you have no qualms about being.

[Esther]

There were these guys that came up and one of them was naked and the other guy had his clothes on. He's like, I don't. I don't want to get naked. And Bobby and I had the shorts on and the shirt, so I pulled the shorts off, like Winnie the Pooh. Shirt on, pants off. I was like, come on, man, just get naked. We're all doing it.

[Ian Finance]

You did not. You did that to a guy you don't know.

[Jenna]

Yeah, I love it. I love it. I do that to people.

[Esther]

Yeah. It's about time us gals make these straights feel uncomfortable.

[Ian Finance]

How did he react?

[Esther]

He took his clothes off. He's like, all right. Oh, my God, we sucked each other.

[Kalila]

I figured that was next.

[Jenna]

I don't think I felt like that happened before.

[Esther]

No, no, no.

[Ian Finance]

I genuinely don't think I'm ready for that experience. I don't think I'm Ready?

[Jenna]

You've never been?

[Ian Finance]

No.

[Jenna]

Are you?

[Esther]

I've never been naked in front of another man like that.

[Ian Finance]

Really? How?

[Esther]

To other men.

[Ian Finance]

But you loved it. It was easy.

[Esther]

Well, I didn't know. My glasses.

[Kalila]

You mean a non sexual way?

[Esther]

Yeah, in a non sexual way.

[Kalila]

You've definitely been naked with other men. In a sexual way? Yeah, but not like just friendship, guys.

[Esther]

Hanging out like a week ago. No, I'm kidding. Yeah. No, not just hanging out like. So what's going. How was your spot at the store?

[Ian Finance]

Wait, but.

[Jenna]

So you think it was different because you couldn't see? Because you don't care if they see you.

[Esther]

Whatever. But I like, we were in the thing and I was like. Did I tell you I got a new watch?

[Jenna]

You left the watch on in like the steam room.

[Kalila]

Don't they give you a little bracelet?

[Jenna]

Yeah, do.

[Esther]

But I wrapped my. Around my wrist. Look, I got a new watch.

[Jenna]

And.

[Esther]

There was a TV on and they're playing like tennis. And there was. Bobby was like, oh, she's cute. I was like, I can't see. So I walked up to the TV like an old man. I liked it. It just. I feel like I'm embracing being.

[Kalila]

Did you. Which spa did you like best? Do you like the clay room? The jade room? The clay.

[Jenna]

What happened with the stones? The clay?

[Kalila]

The clay is the little balls of clay.

[Jenna]

Esther. And tell her because she doesn't know.

[Kalila]

Can we just go one day?

[Ian Finance]

No, it sounds so unsanitary.

[Esther]

And, well, you wear slippers. You don't get like, you know, fungus on your feet.

[Jenna]

But what about when you lay down with your hole? You know what? I never thought these things when I used to go.

[Esther]

And now when you're right, I'm in the plaything. You have shorts and a shirt on because it's co ed.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Esther]

Oh, and when you go in the jade room. Look, I'm a professional now. I know the rooms.

[Kalila]

Did you go into the room that was like 300,000 degrees?

[Ian Finance]

Oh, I like that.

[Esther]

I don't know. I kind of blacked out.

[Ian Finance]

Wait, can you please tell me what happens in the clay room?

[Jenna]

It's like balls, little balls.

[Esther]

What are those? Balls?

[Kalila]

They're just hot clay balls.

[Ian Finance]

And you sit in it and you.

[Jenna]

Just lay like, even everywhere on the floor. It's not just that they're like somewhere, it's everywhere. It's like if there was.

[Esther]

There's like a wood plank you walk on to, like, ingratiate yourself into it. And again, like, I don't want to keep Leaning on this. But I can't emphasize enough how blind I am without my glasses. And I didn't know there was, like, depth to the clay.

[Jenna]

So he can tell you how the clay feels.

[Esther]

And I like. I, like, fell into the clay. Like it was a whole.

[Jenna]

Like a McDonald's.

[Ian Finance]

That's what I would do.

[Kalila]

I.

[Ian Finance]

If we could go to a place where there's a ball pit, a pit of foam, a trampoline. I think it's called Sky Zone.

[Jenna]

Yeah, that's Sky Zone.

[Ian Finance]

Let's do that.

[Esther]

You're talking about.

[Kalila]

I would venture to say that is so much more. Not hygienic.

[Jenna]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

Because some place that is steamed out and kids everywhere.

[Esther]

Steam does something to the diseases.

[Ian Finance]

I think it makes them stronger.

[Jenna]

No, it doesn't. Steam, actually. When there's a higher. What's it called? Humidity level. The viruses can't live in the air as much as they do in dry.

[Esther]

That's why nobody got Covid in, like, Argentina.

[Ian Finance]

And that has to be something you made up.

[Esther]

No one had it by the equator.

[Kalila]

Like, 100% humidity, and everyone got it.

[Esther]

Brazil is a nightmare.

[Ian Finance]

What's going on? Are you dating? Are you single?

[Esther]

Oh, my goodness.

[Ian Finance]

Esther.

[Esther]

Dude, I haven't seen you talk more about the clay room. Well.

[Jenna]

Oh, oh, have a seasoning.

[Esther]

No, I'm not dating anyone specifically.

[Ian Finance]

Okay.

[Jenna]

But you're dating.

[Esther]

Yeah, I mean, I'm. I'm, you know, having fun, enjoying myself. Seeing multiple people safely. Honestly love that. Speaking and letting them know this is what I'm doing. And if you're okay with it, cool. If you're not, that's fine too. And we can be pals. And it's. I've never been happier.

[Ian Finance]

Jenna is formerly. Was in an open relationship, so she's really.

[Jenna]

And the.

[Esther]

The.

[Jenna]

The what?

[Esther]

You always. Formerly.

[Jenna]

It's never currently, but it was, like, for six years, and we're still in the same relationship. And, like, we can go back and forth as.

[Esther]

So then why the little ones say formerly?

[Jenna]

Oh, because we're now exclusive.

[Kalila]

They're close. It's a close relationship now.

[Jenna]

Oh, we're still together. Yeah.

[Esther]

That's amazing.

[Jenna]

It's been 12 years. We go back and forth between, like, open clothed.

[Esther]

As long as we communicate with each other completely and honestly without judgment or contempt. I think you can do anything. That's amazing.

[Jenna]

Yeah. And just being vulnerable and, like, you're still gonna feel emotions. You're not a robot. But what I loved was that you were like. And I'm explaining to each of those People. Because that's how I was. Like, right off the bat, I'm like, hey, in an open relationship, I don't belittle it. I say, like, he's my love. We want to be.

[Esther]

I'm not in, like, an open.

[Ian Finance]

Right.

[Jenna]

You're just.

[Esther]

I'm not.

[Jenna]

Like, you're just dating, but the communication. Okay, yeah.

[Esther]

Okay, wait, wait.

[Kalila]

When was the last time you were, like, in love? Like. Like, mush out. Like, feeling like, I want to just live inside this person in love.

[Esther]

An ex that I had after an incredibly traumatic and abusive relationship in 2021. And when we shacked up, I said, look, I. I don't know how this is gonna go, but I am gonna love you with everything I have. And if it lasts six months, great. Five years, great. A year, whatever. I want, no regrets. And that's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna dive in with everything I have. And so that was 2021. We did for, like, a year and a half. She moved in right away, which was a mistake.

[Jenna]

And that's very lesbian of you.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah.

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

Y.

[Esther]

What it is. I ain't got no time.

[Kalila]

And then how, on a level of zero to soul, crushed. Where were you when it ended?

[Esther]

Oh, she moved out and took the cat. We got together, and it's actually the reason why the podcast started, because instead of going into, like, a depression spiral, I deep cleaned the apartment and did everything she had wanted me to do before. Like, look, I can fix things. And then I built the podcast studio because I was like, I'm not gonna, like, lose my mind. I'm gonna be. I'm gonna throw myself in my creativity. I. I hit up all my friends and filled up my road dates with, like, road work with them so I wouldn't be in town. And I did. I left her a letter when she got all. I packed up all her stuff, and that was, like, very therapeutic. And when she came to get it, I wasn't there, and I left a letter that was like, look, I thank you for the best year in my life. Thank you for letting me know I could love again. Thank you for loving me. I will always love you, and I will always be there for you. And I left you a wall thermometer to measure the temperature of your cold, freezing heart. I love that.

[Jenna]

Very honest and communicative.

[Ian Finance]

Did she respond?

[Esther]

We ended up getting back together, and all the problems we had didn't go away.

[Jenna]

Oh, so you stop. You didn't clean it ever again that one time?

[Esther]

Yeah. I started to live In Phil.

[Jenna]

I can deep clean.

[Esther]

No, we didn't. We weren't in a relationship for. She immediately started dating a guy that had everything. It was like the total op. It was like his job security. He. I know where he is. He just sits at a bar that I work at, like, you know, some fat loser that I almost beat the fuck out of. But then I realized that's not what an adult does, and I don't have to use violence to solve my problems.

[Jenna]

And then you went to the clay room.

[Esther]

And then the clay room saved me.

[Jenna]

Wait, but.

[Ian Finance]

Okay, I think it's so. I would be so happy if I was heartbroken. And then they go for the opposite of you because you know what really sucks is when you're heartbroken and then they go for someone. You're like, that's just me again.

[Jenna]

Yeah.

[Ian Finance]

Why couldn't it just have. Why couldn't you have just stayed with me?

[Esther]

Yeah, I can give you a lot of reasons why they wouldn't. Where do you want to start?

[Jenna]

No, but yes. It's like, okay, go to something that's like, oh, yeah, I couldn't have done that for you.

[Ian Finance]

It's like, okay, a petite brunette right here. You had her.

[Kalila]

Why?

[Ian Finance]

And then you marry her. Why her?

[Jenna]

Sounds like you're upset about something.

[Ian Finance]

No, I'm not upset about my high school ex breaking up with me. I'm not.

[Jenna]

That's what I was thinking.

[Kalila]

I have a question for you guys. With a breakup like that, you threw yourself into the work getting busy. What is better for healing? To distract yourself or to just sit in the pain and the filth of the broken pieces of your heart?

[Esther]

Deal with it later. You have to. To wait, because I. What?

[Kalila]

This is such a guy answer.

[Jenna]

Oh, my God.

[Kalila]

This is why you guys never heal, by the way. It was a trick question. It was a trick question.

[Esther]

You. Do you hear me right now? I am healed. And this one's like, ah, I'm chills with the communication. What are you talking about? I'm in a clay room. I'm doing great.

[Kalila]

You're blind.

[Esther]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm blind. Walking around. Go. Literally going up to men that kind of are short and kind of junkie. And go, Bobby.

[Jenna]

I feel like Bobby also never responded.

[Esther]

Oh, he would come out of the steam room and go, dude, I'm over here.

[Jenna]

Hey, friend, friend, friend.

[Esther]

Hey.

[Kalila]

Hey, over here.

[Esther]

It was the best. I had so much fun.

[Ian Finance]

I think it's got a hog. It has to be a combo. Wait, what?

[Kalila]

Okay, tell me.

[Jenna]

Yeah, you're Right.

[Ian Finance]

It has to be a combo. You have to distract and feel it. You cannot sit. What does just feel it mean? Sit in bed and eat ice cream. Like in the morning.

[Kalila]

Wallow, baby. I wallow.

[Jenna]

I was not moving.

[Kalila]

I don' Literally passing away before your very eyes. And then I listen to the saddest music. Oh, dude, I. I make myself so sad. So when I'm out of it, I am free, wallowing.

[Esther]

What does that. That get you?

[Kalila]

It gets me to my bottom very.

[Esther]

Fast, and then I'm free and disassociate and. Well, I do. The. The abusive relationship I was in, that was terrible. It. Oh, I. It was during the pandemic, so there's, like, nothing but time. But that was, like, good in a way. But to your point.

[Jenna]

Fuck.

[Esther]

I don't want to admit you're kind of right, but I was going through, like, a tissue box a week, and there's this song by Ryan Adams called Walk in the Dark, and I would listen to that and just sob.

[Kalila]

I definitely sobbed to Ryan Adams until I found out what Ryan Adams did. Then.

[Esther]

Well, then I'd stop because I'm like, I can't like you anymore.

[Kalila]

Exactly.

[Esther]

But I still like your music.

[Kalila]

And I'll listen secretly, right?

[Esther]

No, openly. I don't care. I was on my bike because I have a speaker and I listen to music.

[Jenna]

Yeah.

[Esther]

And this guy pulled up next to me and he goes, ryan Adams, Really? And I go, yeah, I like his music. He's a piece of. And I have no problem saying that, but you can't deny his music's good. He goes, you know what? You're right.

[Jenna]

Have a good day.

[Kalila]

It is true.

[Ian Finance]

I will have this experience lately where I'll be scrolling tick tock, a Kanye song comes on. I'm like, oh, no.

[Jenna]

Why is it good?

[Ian Finance]

Because he's the word. Like, I hope he goes away forever and, like, learns his lesson. I hate him so much. Actually. No, Hate is too strong. It's. He's nothing. But his music. He's nothing anyone.

[Jenna]

Do people feel that way about, like, Michael Jackson?

[Kalila]

Yeah, of course.

[Jenna]

Because, like, honestly, he's dead now, so I'm like, I can listen to him all I want.

[Kalila]

I think.

[Esther]

I think I can listen to anyone and. Okay, then don't listen to the Beatles. John Lennon beat the shit out of his wife.

[Ian Finance]

You know, like, okay, but Connie is selling swastika merch.

[Esther]

Yeah, he's a piece of shit, but you can't deny that fucking, you know, Jesus walks and my dark twisted fantasy are like, amazing pieces of art. You know, it's like, it sucks, but, like, a lot of. A lot of great artists do very bad things, you know? But I'm not going to change what I like just because I find out someone's a piece of shit.

[Ian Finance]

I thought you're going to be like, I'm not going to stop abusing people just because my comedy is good.

[Esther]

I needed that. Thank you for saying that. Yeah. You know what, someone. One of my favorite quotes is, if everybody likes you, then you're doing something wrong, 100%.

[Kalila]

And literally, as I was, I could blow you right now.

[Esther]

I. Well, she'll do it. And you know who said that? And I'm so glad you guys like that. Bill Cosby. And I will say, name one thing that man has done wrong.

[Jenna]

Wait, have you never heard that?

[Ian Finance]

No. There's a quote that I was thinking, because my new thing, when I lay down to sleep, it's either anxiety about hypochondria or, like, entrepreneurial.

[Esther]

Like, what?

[Ian Finance]

Wires spinning.

[Esther]

Have you been Gary Vee pilled?

[Ian Finance]

No, but that's a really good. Yes, but, like, there's this quote that's like, I can't tell you how to succeed, but I can tell you how to fail. Please everyone. I actually think it was. You know why I was thinking it is because we've had guests on the show where one group of people is really upset, and then the next week, a whole nother group of people is really upset. And I'm thinking about it. I'm like, you know, we can't please everyone.

[Esther]

To me recently, it was like a mind, but almost, like, freeing.

[Ian Finance]

How so?

[Esther]

I had a joke, and I was talking about being bisexual. I'm like, you know, I date men, women, trans women, and people on Twitter, which none of it's real. It's all fake. And you can choose which reality you live in. Do you want to live in this online world where then that narrative becomes true, or do you want to live in reality with tangible results? And humans. Humans and people and, like, things that tell you, no, this is real. And so all these trans people and, like, leftists on Twitter came after me because I didn't include trans women as women. And I. I've gotten so much hate from them before because I don't talk about the trans women I love properly to them. And it's, like, so insane. Like, I had a joke. I was in bed with this girl I was dating who's trans, and we were laughing about this joke that was about her that I got her permission, and she loved it. And I put it online and these people were like, he's a transphobic bigot. He's a chaser, and blah, blah. I'm like, what?

[Kalila]

This is the craziest part is that of anyone we've ever met, you've been the most.

[Ian Finance]

I know.

[Kalila]

Adoring of the trans community, like, and you've been open about it with no shame. And I. That's where you go to me.

[Esther]

But I don't do it the way they want me.

[Jenna]

But you're never gonna do it the way everyone wants.

[Esther]

My whole time publicly being like, it's okay to be with these people.

[Ian Finance]

I'm getting so mad.

[Esther]

Whether you see them as women or trans women, they're still people. And it doesn't matter, like, as long as you love them and treat them fairly like straight guys. It doesn't mean you're this gay guy if you're attracted to trans women. It just means you're a human. You're attracted to who you're attracted to. A lot of trans people online are just autistic men in dresses that want to be affirmed.

[Jenna]

Oh, God. Kalila.

[Esther]

Or trans people in real life are great. You know what I mean? What?

[Kalila]

Well.

[Ian Finance]

Oh, her ex.

[Kalila]

Her ex is. Okay, this is gonna blow your mind. I need you to wait.

[Jenna]

You're.

[Esther]

Wait.

[Jenna]

Those people who are getting mad.

[Esther]

I'm not wrong.

[Kalila]

Okay, so listen, it's kind how it's.

[Esther]

Also like a bunch of brick men in dresses trying to control how we speak, talk, and feel because men can't control people anymore. So they've figured out, well, if I do this, then people, you know, it's. It's all about power.

[Jenna]

And the thing is, you're also talking about an actual real experience relationship that you had. So that is specific to your relationship.

[Esther]

It was my experience as a. A guy, a man, dating trans women and changing my self hatred perception. And one of the jokes was, trans women are women because I can't find the clit on them either. And all these people are like, we're not. Don't reduce us to our genitals and blah, blah. And I'm literally like. Like, it's crazy, but. And then in the same breath, they'll be like, join my only fans and see my girl dick.

[Jenna]

People are always gonna feel, well, the thing is, I.

[Esther]

So that happened one week, and then the next week, this crazy alt right grifter took the. My clip of saying that because while I was saying that thing about being bisexual, some guy in the crowd who the entire set was yelling about politics and Trump.

[Kalila]

Ew.

[Esther]

And even during that, when he was started yelling about Trump, I was like, dude, you know what? Good for you for being who you are and not caring. Like, I gotta respect that. And some girl, like, booed him, and I was like, and you for judge. Like, none of these politicians care about us. You know, like, Kamala's not your mom and Bernie isn't bae. Like, these people truly don't care.

[Ian Finance]

Like, Bernie is gonna stop you there.

[Kalila]

Yeah, I'll fight you on that.

[Esther]

I love Bernie and I. I vote for him in every election. But thinking any politician is your, like, friend or they truly care is insane. And I said that, and. But this girl took my clip. And then I. I went after this Trump guy, and he was like, we're the party of inclusion. I was like, oh, yeah? Is it what? Like, you. You're the inclusion party. You guys don't care. You. You care about women's bodies. You care about gay people. You care about everything, but including people. You bigot piece of.

[Jenna]

They really have told themselves that.

[Esther]

And this. This woman clipped it, took out all the jokes and was like, woke. Comedians exposed and all these. For like 48 hours. I was just getting called, like, I don't know, and Jew and like, wow, he has sex with men. Like, it was like, insane.

[Kalila]

And the inclusion of it all, both sides are hating.

[Esther]

It was crazy.

[Ian Finance]

One thing we can all agree on.

[Esther]

Yeah. Yeah. It's like, if anything, I can bring the country together by having you all hate me for existing. But it's like, dude, it's. It's not real, but it's crazy because.

[Kalila]

It'S like, they don't hate you. They hate themselves.

[Esther]

Totally.

[Kalila]

Something about what you're saying triggers their own self hatred and it throws them.

[Esther]

I've gotten so much hate for men that probably have felt the way I feel, and it brings something out in them, so they have to hate it. Like, dude, honestly, Jim Norton is one of my favorite comics, and he has helped me so much just in his living, truthfully, for being, you know, in love with trans women. But when I was younger, I had to stop listening to him because it would remind me of what I liked, and I wasn't okay with it.

[Kalila]

Jim Norton is married to Nikki, who has been his. His wife for several years. Yeah, for a while. And he's one of the first people that I think has been openly married to a trans woman. And they have, like, the sweetest, cutest, sexiest little love affair. And. And it's Just like, I love him. I love them.

[Jenna]

I also.

[Esther]

But it's. It's like wild because I'll get so much in real life feedback of like, you've helped me figure out that this is okay. This is not. And then these people are like hating me and I'm like, well, that's not. Not real. Like, they're like, you, you. No one. You've never been funny and you suck. And then I'm like, I sold out like a club weekend. I'm like, okay, this is real.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah.

[Esther]

When I put the jacket. That's real.

[Kalila]

You gotta literally walk out, touch grass, look around you and no one choose your reality.

[Esther]

And I interrupted you. What were you saying?

[Jenna]

I don't know anything. I wasn't gonna know.

[Esther]

You're like, ex boyfriend.

[Jenna]

Oh, I had forgotten about that.

[Kalila]

Well, this one is. This one's a doozy for you.

[Esther]

Let's see. I'm a Delaware doozy. Let's hear it.

[Kalila]

Ok, break it down. She has no. She has an ex.

[Esther]

Yes.

[Kalila]

First.

[Jenna]

A long time ago. X. Okay, let's. Let's preface it with that.

[Kalila]

Long, long time ago time ago. 15 years.

[Esther]

Okay.

[Jenna]

And we don't want to get too much attention.

[Kalila]

He faked his own death.

[Jenna]

Hold on. That wasn't his rules. That wasn't his first event. Because that was after we were dating. His first offense was like, while we were dating.

[Kalila]

What was the first offense?

[Jenna]

What's on let's.

[Kalila]

Okay, let's say first public offense. Yeah, he faked his own death. It made it to the news.

[Jenna]

First off, I get met. I wake up to a barrage of all of these messages of people being like, I know it's been a while, but I'm so sorry. And I'm like, oh, my goodness. And I look and I'm thinking like, oh, man. Is it because I never responded to his emails? Because he'd been emailing me for years and I was just like, really?

[Esther]

And this is after you were broken up.

[Jenna]

You can read them.

[Kalila]

I think the first person to tell you that I was like, I don't think. I was like, I don't think he's dead. I honestly think he's faking it.

[Jenna]

She said that? I'm sweating right now.

[Ian Finance]

Wait, what are you guys.

[Jenna]

How did you.

[Kalila]

You have terrorists.

[Jenna]

I'm literally.

[Esther]

Do you want me to take mine off? Make you feel comfortable? Like when a kid has cancer, everyone.

[Jenna]

I think that would make me feel uncomfortable. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding.

[Esther]

I completely understand. I get it.

[Jenna]

You have to remember that I'm sweating.

[Kalila]

I had stuck, talked this guy, this ex of hers, because I. I was just fascinated by this guy. She had told me about this person. I was like, oh my God, I love how unhinged he is. So when he allegedly died, I was like, I promise you he's alive. I promise you. And sure enough, a couple hours later, Jenna's like, he's alive.

[Ian Finance]

He's like, tell me how that's real. How did he. Why did he fake his own death? How did you know it was.

[Jenna]

Take my shirt off?

[Kalila]

Because I had studied this person. He was like, what do you call it?

[Esther]

Like, waft some of that over this way.

[Kalila]

A case study.

[Jenna]

It's not going to smell. Cuz I have my deodorant on.

[Esther]

Oh, yeah.

[Kalila]

She should give you her deodorant.

[Esther]

Really?

[Kalila]

Yeah, it's natural.

[Esther]

I wear women's deodorant.

[Jenna]

Oh my gosh.

[Esther]

What is it called?

[Jenna]

We'll get to this later.

[Esther]

The degree.

[Kalila]

No, not degree.

[Jenna]

I make it. Okay, let's. Let's continue.

[Ian Finance]

Tell me this.

[Esther]

You're in an open relationship. You make your own deodorant. This is. You are a hippie sweating. How do you open this?

[Kalila]

You just twist it. It smells so great.

[Esther]

How do you make this? You're like a little Tyler Durden.

[Jenna]

Try it.

[Esther]

Just put it on.

[Kalila]

Yeah, you just.

[Jenna]

With your finger and then you just rub it. I mean, if you smell like, where do you rub it? On your dick? Like in your armpit?

[Ian Finance]

Can I give you a breast exam?

[Jenna]

Please. But if I do this to Esther, she goes, ew.

[Esther]

See, this is what friendship is is. I tried to do this to Bobby's last night.

[Jenna]

I'm surprised that.

[Esther]

Let me check your balls, brother.

[Jenna]

Very surprised that he declined that.

[Ian Finance]

I actually can't do my own breast exam. So I do need you to give me one.

[Esther]

I'm sweating too. I just gross myself out because I'm sweating.

[Kalila]

Okay, okay, let's proceed. Guy didn't die.

[Ian Finance]

But no, you're not telling me enough about how you knew a guy wasn't dead.

[Kalila]

Well, I had been. He is a case study for me. I honestly found him fascinating in that I was like, oh, this person is his. His whole Internet existence.

[Jenna]

She was obsessed with him. But I had basically put a boundary of like, I can't keep hearing about him because I don't. It makes me feel uncomfortable.

[Ian Finance]

Why did he fake his own death?

[Esther]

How did he fake his own death?

[Kalila]

He allegedly on the live himself.

[Esther]

I hate the fact that we have to change how we Speak. Because of the algorithm.

[Jenna]

I know.

[Kalila]

It's crazy.

[Ian Finance]

What did he do a post?

[Jenna]

Like, sweat. I never sweat this.

[Kalila]

Yeah, I think he had someone post on his behalf. Sorry, Jenna, Are you okay? We don't have to proceed.

[Jenna]

No.

[Ian Finance]

You are sweaty.

[Jenna]

Yeah, I never sweat this much. It's just because it's like, oh, God, what if he reaches out to me again and I don't want to be a hater. I don't want to be mean.

[Kalila]

You're not hating. But you know what?

[Jenna]

Okay, so let's.

[Esther]

Let's just change the subject back to me. You were saying I'm a great comic.

[Jenna]

You can. You can do it. You can.

[Kalila]

I really need your input on this, though.

[Esther]

Yeah, okay.

[Kalila]

Okay, that's. That's besides the point. The.

[Esther]

Yeah, I mean, I'd love to give my input if you ever get to the story.

[Kalila]

I will. I'm trying, I'm trying. But then there's dealer.

[Jenna]

So expensive.

[Ian Finance]

Ask over and over again. Do not blame myself.

[Kalila]

Okay. You're right. Sir is trying to keep us on track. Okay, in under 30 seconds. Here we go.

[Esther]

I doubt it.

[Kalila]

The guy has sent you.

[Jenna]

Please set a timer for 30 seconds.

[Esther]

Yeah, I got to use my Casio.

[Kalila]

Ready? Timing me.

[Jenna]

Go.

[Kalila]

Okay. The guy has since called himself some right wing bro. And to prove his point against the trans community, which he allegedly hates, he dresses up as a woman and he posts trans content only.

[Esther]

Is it the guy that has the fat belly?

[Jenna]

No.

[Kalila]

Yes.

[Ian Finance]

Yes, it is.

[Kalila]

No, he has a fat belly now.

[Ian Finance]

I've never seen you smile.

[Jenna]

He's, like, padded.

[Ian Finance]

I have not seen Koila.

[Esther]

He's, like, a loser.

[Kalila]

He has a fat belly now.

[Jenna]

Yeah, I, like, don't want to hate on anyone because I just feel bad for him.

[Ian Finance]

You don't understand. I haven't seen her smile like this since 2023.

[Esther]

Oh, dude, we're 31 seconds. He faked his own death. Oh, that's so funny. What a loser.

[Kalila]

But you've seen him, then?

[Esther]

Yeah. Yeah, him.

[Jenna]

Him mocking the trans community. I don't know if it's real or.

[Esther]

I thought it was, like. Oh, him, like, abusing you and faking his own death doesn't make him a loser, too.

[Jenna]

He's a loser that I'm sad.

[Esther]

I'll put it out there. My dates are online. IanFinance.com, pull up to a show, and if you got a problem with this.

[Jenna]

Say it to my face.

[Kalila]

Well, the question I had for you was what? I. Yeah, basically.

[Esther]

You know, I'll get them back for You. You all say the patriarchy. I'll make them limp out of my apartment. Let's go. I mean, what did you see in that piece of.

[Jenna]

Okay, so I.

[Esther]

We could move on.

[Kalila]

Yeah. It's a long time ago. Well, look at. Look.

[Esther]

What is this? Is this a segment?

[Jenna]

I had seen him as, like, a buddy, and I made that very clear. I communicated however he wanted to date. And I always said, like, oh, I could really see us as, like, buddies. And he was like, oh, I could see you as my girlfriend. And then the. The relationship, it became like he was a bit jealous and controlling. And I was like, I will cut you with my knitting needle. I remember the day I literally held up my knitting needle.

[Esther]

I do punch needle stitching.

[Jenna]

Oh, my God, that's incredible. I don't know how to do that.

[Esther]

That seems so hard, but I'm figuring it out.

[Ian Finance]

Well, you held up your knitting needle.

[Jenna]

Yeah, because he. The words that he used to speak to me. I was like, you will never raise your voice at me. And I. I was on crutches because I had just torn my hamstring off.

[Esther]

I thought you were gonna say crack.

[Ian Finance]

For some reason, that would have been made more sense.

[Jenna]

And I was like, you will never speak to me that way. I lifted up my knitting needle, and then I, like, hobbled out of his apartment, and then that was it. But he kept trying to date me and communicate with me anyway. He was mentally unwell, so that's why I was like, we're done. And I never intended to date him.

[Esther]

But how he faked his own death, how is that not like. Like, the lead on everything?

[Jenna]

I mean, that was like 15 years after we dated that it happened, but, yeah.

[Esther]

Did he end up recently?

[Jenna]

This is like, what, two? Three? Two? How many years ago?

[Esther]

I gotta say, the hubris to try to fake your own death in, like, a social media world is like, I gotta hand it to him. That's pretty wild to think he could get away.

[Ian Finance]

How far can you take it? Like, if I were to do it, I would want to go so far as the. I'm laying there and then just go.

[Esther]

Well, dude, there's a. There's a guy.

[Kalila]

Wait, do you want to listen to everyone's eulogy of you, you sick?

[Ian Finance]

She just.

[Jenna]

With one eye open, she's like, oh, wait, you forgot to say that I'm nice.

[Ian Finance]

And then I'm pretty.

[Jenna]

Hold on.

[Ian Finance]

Hello.

[Jenna]

Where the. Is my banana? How.

[Kalila]

How would you die, Esther?

[Jenna]

Thanks.

[Ian Finance]

Where's your how would I. I poo poos? That's how you want to kill me?

[Esther]

The dude. There was a. There was a guy who a friend still thinks faked his own death. Death because he was such a scumb when he lived. Yeah, sure. Thank you. He. I'm. I'm sober. I'm in a program in recovery, and I go to places to help me out. And you can too. It's no big deal.

[Jenna]

For free.

[Esther]

Oh, yeah. Oh, I have the same colored toenails as you.

[Jenna]

Oh, it's ugly color.

[Ian Finance]

All right, easy, Jenna.

[Jenna]

On my feet. Yeah, it looks like, sickly.

[Esther]

Here, I'll show you. My friend's daughters painted my nails around Christmas time and they're still green.

[Ian Finance]

Wait, Jenna, you're like low key rated R everywhere we go.

[Esther]

What do you mean?

[Jenna]

What did I do?

[Kalila]

Your tits are always out your boobs.

[Jenna]

I have a bra. I have a bra top on your feet.

[Ian Finance]

You talking with a banana in your mouth.

[Kalila]

Also, also, you're you facetime with my mom and you always show her your what?

[Ian Finance]

And this is not a big deal.

[Kalila]

And my mom just like, show me Marjanelle.

[Jenna]

Oh, yeah. Every time I see her mom, she's like, oh, darling, your tits look bigger.

[Ian Finance]

I love the Fits Everybody collection from skims so much. I exclusively wear that. I love the Fits Everybody cheeky brief. I love the Fits Everybody thongs. As I've talked about like a million times, I have them. I feel like in every color. Whenever they come out with new colors, I need them because they make me feel cute. Like I really have just become like, that's just very important to me. They're the only underwear that I'll wear. And that's a final statement. I also love the Fits Everybody bralettes. I love the T shirt bra. I just love that material. I love the feel of it. It makes me. It kind of reminds me of my dancing days or something. It feels kind of nylony, but yet there's so much more to it. I love it.

[Kalila]

Shop Skims Best intimates, including the Fits Everybody collection and [e-mail] and skim stores. And after you place your order, be sure to let them know we sent you select podcast in the survey and be sure to select our show in the drop down menu that follows. My mom and her have the weirdest, like, Jenna will be like full bush. She's like, look, mom.

[Jenna]

Your mom, literally, when you guys had been evacuated and had lost everything, I walk in the house in the desert, she runs up to me. It's like, this is a very sad time. And she's like, oh, darling, your tits are bigger. I want to you. She literally said that. You can ask her.

[Kalila]

Yeah, it's a lesbian. I don't know.

[Esther]

She's joking.

[Kalila]

Yeah, my mom and we are like, weird. They're like, really unwell.

[Esther]

Why do you show her your.

[Kalila]

It's just like, my mom wants to see it.

[Esther]

I don't understand. Let's play it out.

[Kalila]

Okay.

[Esther]

Hello, I'm Kyla's mom, Kyla. I'm just so excited.

[Ian Finance]

That's okay. When we came in, Billy, our. The producer here, he goes, Kalila says, I mean, I could see how he thought that you were walking into this podcast next to me. You have the same skin color with sunglasses on.

[Kalila]

I'll explain. It's a cultural same hair color. I just don't think Filipino moms and aunties have this thing that has traumatized generations upon generations, Filipino children, where they'll look at. They'll. When their kids grow up, they still think it's funny to like, oh, like, grab our genitals and think it's like a joke.

[Jenna]

But what do you mean still think it's funny? Like, it was funnier when you guys were younger.

[Kalila]

They're like watching baby and then they'll like, squeeze your. And then they'll make fun of you. Gilbert knows all every Filipino kid knows.

[Jenna]

I think it's funny.

[Kalila]

It's like a cultural thing. And then it has extended to Jenna and now she plays this game with my mom of like, show her her bush.

[Jenna]

I just think it's like, like, ever since I was little, I've always mooned and flashed people and been like, it's funny. It's not like a sexual thing.

[Esther]

Out is like a joke.

[Jenna]

That's what I was going to say. It's like how boys take their dicks out.

[Esther]

I would run out, Nate. They turn the lights off and go, I think the place is haunted.

[Ian Finance]

I'd run out and go, he seems rated R. You don't. And that's why it's like a trick. You seem pg.

[Esther]

Hey, what the do you mean.

[Kalila]

What is that.

[Ian Finance]

Comedian.

[Jenna]

You're not even real.

[Esther]

Is that a real laugh?

[Jenna]

No, I'm imitating her. Exactly, Exactly. It doesn't sound real.

[Esther]

I'll show you my toenail.

[Jenna]

I didn't ask to see them, but I'm just kidding.

[Esther]

I'm just kidding.

[Jenna]

Show me. Okay, that's a. Wait. Are they the same?

[Kalila]

It is.

[Jenna]

Oh. See how mine is more green and looks like it's.

[Ian Finance]

You guys just touch toes. That's.

[Kalila]

That's sexually you guys had sex on camera.

[Esther]

Weird.

[Jenna]

Here's the thing, guys. It's like. It's like, who gives a fuck? That's how I see it. It's like, yeah, you saw tits. It's not that big of a deal.

[Kalila]

Give me your shirt, bruh. Can I have it?

[Jenna]

You know why?

[Kalila]

It's like the Pasadena Rose Parade.

[Jenna]

I know.

[Kalila]

I'm from Pasadena. Altadena.

[Ian Finance]

I think it's so unfair because I asked for it on the way in, but now I absolutely have to.

[Jenna]

It's my mom's, though. It's like, it can't go anywhere.

[Ian Finance]

It's such a good shirt.

[Kalila]

I'm calling. I'm going to.

[Jenna]

If you want it, you'll just show your pussy. Oh, my God.

[Kalila]

I'll show your mom my pussy.

[Esther]

I would never show my parents, my friend's parents, my. But I did buy my first gun and I gave it to my friend's dad.

[Ian Finance]

You did?

[Jenna]

I think it just depends. Like, I. I don't know if I would do that to anyone else's mom but Kalila's mom, because she's like. She asks for it.

[Ian Finance]

Better not do that to my mom.

[Kalila]

Different vibes.

[Jenna]

Marmar are probably like, oh, yeah. Different vibes, different tribes. I don't know. But it's just, like, not a big deal. Except that when I was younger and I used to moon, one time my mom came to school to pick me up, and I went to Chicago Public School. So there's, like, police officers in the school.

[Esther]

And I used to teach at schools like that.

[Jenna]

Metal detectors.

[Kalila]

Can you believe that?

[Esther]

They used to have. The kids used to have to come. The teachers used to have to come to the kids because they couldn't go. They couldn't be in the hallway because there'd be, like, fights all the time.

[Jenna]

Yeah, of course.

[Esther]

So all the teachers had to go to the kids.

[Jenna]

Cps.

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Jenna]

And my mom was like, oh, I'm just looking for my daughter, Jenna. Do you know where she is? And the security. My mom is a Jew. That's why she sounds like that. And the security guard was like, oh, yeah. Does she play soccer? Her? And she was like, yeah. And he's like, oh, yeah. I think I see her running through.

[Esther]

Here all the time, spreading cheeks.

[Jenna]

And he goes, she always run past here and flash and moon and stuff. And my mom was like, yeah, that sounds like her.

[Kalila]

Oh, wow.

[Esther]

You must have been very popular.

[Ian Finance]

You should have been arrested.

[Esther]

I used to do the mangina. I still do, but actually, I didn't.

[Jenna]

Like, oh, like you would tuck it back.

[Kalila]

I gotta say. I don't. I gotta say, I've never dated a guy that hasn't done that. That. I feel like all men really enjoy the mangina.

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Jenna]

I've never seen any guy I've dated do that.

[Kalila]

You're not looking hard enough and you're.

[Esther]

Not dating all the wrong ones.

[Jenna]

I wish that they would do that. That's so funny to me.

[Esther]

They've never put on your bra and gone, I'm just like you.

[Jenna]

So far. No, really, it's so fun, you know, I would love that.

[Kalila]

Yeah, I know.

[Esther]

You know, when I moved to la.

[Jenna]

Do you really think I'm rated?

[Esther]

I'll mangina you.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah, I think you don't understand that. You put a banana in your mouth.

[Esther]

And you go, is that what she did?

[Jenna]

It's. What?

[Kalila]

It's unintentional.

[Jenna]

Oh, I thought you said it's unprofessional. And I was like, what makes me really sad is that you said, I'm afraid of being unprofessional. Yeah, it's unintentional because I'm just like, it's not a big deal. Tits. Whatever.

[Kalila]

Wait, hang on one second. You're saying that the way I eat a banana is very not sexual. Because if she's eating banana sexually.

[Jenna]

I'm telling you, there is a double standard here with me and Kalila, okay? Because Kalila gets to be vulgar. She could talk about. She could literally talk about a butthole going inside her pussy. I don't even know how that would happen. And you would be like, uh huh. Tell me more. And I'm like. I'm like, oh, my God, it's really hot.

[Esther]

She's eating and you're like. You're sucking a cock.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah.

[Jenna]

No, I'm denying you. No, I'm telling you.

[Esther]

Wait, no, don't put your dark twisted fantasy.

[Jenna]

She always goes, ew, stop. Ew. Why are you doing that? Don't talk about that.

[Ian Finance]

When she had the banana.

[Esther]

I didn't.

[Jenna]

Stella.

[Ian Finance]

Thank you, Stella. I thought it was.

[Kalila]

Here I am just throating a full fucking hog. Just no one says anything.

[Jenna]

I never. Why didn't it look like poop?

[Esther]

What?

[Jenna]

It could have looked like poop. It could have looked like a carrot.

[Ian Finance]

Vote in the comments.

[Kalila]

I think it's just honestly, because you're really hot.

[Esther]

You know what? What? Let's do it again.

[Jenna]

Because you know what? I don't act sexually.

[Ian Finance]

Everybody look at my face. I'm making a K for that.

[Jenna]

I think.

[Kalila]

Okay, I'll Rewind the taste competition. Let's do the slow motion of everyone ate the banana.

[Jenna]

If it was a sexual situation and be like, guys. So anyway, I want to talk to you about something would be sexual. I'm just going. Hey, guys.

[Ian Finance]

You did no. Okay. Put a big piece in your mouth.

[Esther]

Yeah. Show us what you did again.

[Jenna]

Oh, hey, guys.

[Esther]

Yeah. Shove the present. Let's joke her on the podcast. No more banana. See? You're so sexual.

[Ian Finance]

First of all, I am willing to admit there is a double standard, and we will get to the bottom of it. But I still stand by everything I say is coming from a true place. You are rated R. You.

[Esther]

Why is she rated R? And why is she not just existing? Like, why is that rated R? Maybe you're wrong.

[Ian Finance]

She was naked 15 minutes ago.

[Jenna]

I was not naked.

[Esther]

Brown.

[Jenna]

Like a bathing suit.

[Kalila]

I think you see her as, like, a parental figure, and you don't want your own mom to behave this way.

[Jenna]

Yeah, no, but I. I've known Esther since we were 18. We've been best friends since college, and she has always viewed me as like, mama. Like, before she moved here, the only person she asked if she could drop out of college was me.

[Kalila]

Right.

[Esther]

Wow.

[Kalila]

I think that's why. And I'm not a parental figure. I'm more of, like, a work crush.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Ian Finance]

That's.

[Esther]

So you're more like an au pair.

[Jenna]

I would say I'm the au pair.

[Ian Finance]

Also, like, the only a person that hugs me. Like, you're like.

[Kalila]

You want to keep her clean.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah, is what it is. I have, like, the Madonna whore comp.

[Kalila]

You do. You know, you are the patriarchy.

[Ian Finance]

Oh, no.

[Jenna]

Yeah, I was. You know what? I wasn't gonna say that because I didn't want to say that.

[Ian Finance]

What do you mean?

[Jenna]

Kind of.

[Kalila]

No, wait, Esther. Mom's too.

[Ian Finance]

Okay, no, stop it.

[Kalila]

Moms can have sex. They can be sexual beings.

[Jenna]

Sexual, the way she said it.

[Esther]

But they. They should also cool it down.

[Kalila]

I hate when you say this.

[Jenna]

Mom should cool it the fuck down.

[Esther]

Mom should be in overalls, driving a Volvo.

[Ian Finance]

Yes.

[Jenna]

Okay, what about dad?

[Esther]

Putting themselves out there.

[Jenna]

What about dad?

[Esther]

Dad should be wearing shirts, tucked in, cutting the lawn.

[Jenna]

Dad should be put away. In the closets.

[Esther]

What?

[Kalila]

In the closets.

[Jenna]

If moms have to be, like, calmed down, then dads have to be fucking shut away.

[Esther]

No, no. When you have a child, your life is over, and you're no longer allowed to fucking shake ass around town.

[Ian Finance]

I agree.

[Jenna]

No, you know what? That's wrong, because that is saying that the only reason you're shaking ass is to, like, get a partner, have sex, and have a baby. And that is not true.

[Esther]

It's. It's.

[Jenna]

We are here just living our lives.

[Esther]

It's ancestral.

[Jenna]

Do you see how she just got so close? That was crazy.

[Esther]

She went, put your grandma mother's blanket on.

[Ian Finance]

She just.

[Kalila]

Put your cloth.

[Jenna]

If we could slow motion to the way that she reached over. It was like this rage, but also this. Like, that is mine. I want to touch that. Let's keep you. She was like, cut your shirt. That was crazy.

[Esther]

This is the greatest day of my life. I don't have WI fi at the hotel. This is like, less being porn in person.

[Jenna]

Do you want to nurse?

[Ian Finance]

Yes.

[Jenna]

Come on.

[Esther]

If you start doing mommy play, I'm going to come. Wait, so you got to change the subject.

[Kalila]

Do you think that you or any of you would be. Where would you fall in the hierarchy of a mafia? Would you be the dawn? Or would you be a lowly peasant somewhere in the bottom doing the dirty work?

[Jenna]

I'm a lowly peasant.

[Esther]

Are you.

[Kalila]

You're the worker.

[Jenna]

Because I, like, get distracted and things up. But actually, I don't know. I feel like, what else?

[Esther]

I would be the one that would always be like, hey, guys, instead of me killing this guy, you want to do it together? Just come along on the ride.

[Kalila]

You're the Joe Pesci.

[Esther]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, Dude.

[Jenna]

When my friends used to have me come to fights in high school, like, with them, like, oh, we're fighting at boo time. And they would have me come with because they always thought I was gonna fight. And I was like, I'm. I know I look like I'm gonna fight, but I'm not. And I would go, this. I have this vivid memory where two of my friends were fighting, like, beating the shit out of each other at this parking lot.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Jenna]

One of the girls ended up getting an ice skate from her trunk. Because I just was like, I hate fighting. But I also understood that that's just how shit goes down. I grabbed flaming hots, which became this thing that I would do it at fights, and in. In the middle of the fight, I would go, who wants flaming hots? Who wants it? They're like, I'm. I'm dead. Like, socking. Yeah, socking people in the face. And I would go, like, who wants flaming hots?

[Ian Finance]

Who?

[Jenna]

Oh, you guys want some flame? Because I was like, anything to distract.

[Kalila]

You're the peanut guy that would make them stop fighting. Oh, my God. You're a pacifist.

[Jenna]

And these two people, I. I hope they remember this fight, but I'm not going to say.

[Ian Finance]

And that is why you would be at the bottom.

[Jenna]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Esther]

There'd be someone, like, wrapping barb wire around someone's neck like, you rat. You're like, who wants cheetos?

[Kalila]

She would be the Dawn.

[Ian Finance]

What is the Don?

[Kalila]

You would be Don Carleone all the way up here.

[Ian Finance]

So would you, though?

[Kalila]

Oh, not as high up as you, though.

[Esther]

I would like to be the consigliere.

[Kalila]

Conciliari.

[Jenna]

I don't know a lot of words. I don't know.

[Esther]

That's the one that's like the Don's right hand man. And he's like, calms the Dom down. And then the dawn is, like, in charge.

[Kalila]

I am number one at being number two. So you would. I would be great at being your right hand.

[Ian Finance]

And then we just send Jenna out to do everything.

[Esther]

Yeah, yeah.

[Kalila]

The bar wiring.

[Esther]

You would. Yeah, you would be like the. The. The. Like the air task rabbit. And then like, if someone wanted to have a meeting with the dawn, you would pitch it to the. To Kila, and then she would be like, jenna wants to have a sit down tomorrow. What do you think? Blah, blah.

[Jenna]

I mean, I think you guys can speak to this. I would probably be the TaskRabbit and someone who calms someone down.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Esther]

You'd go to the Don and be like, why don't you just grab my tip? You want to grab my. I could take my shirt off.

[Ian Finance]

Come on.

[Esther]

Want me to eat a banana Runny.

[Jenna]

You guys are rated R, you guys.

[Ian Finance]

Oh, my God. I'm gonna get made fun of the rest of my life.

[Esther]

Take it easy, you little Disney movie.

[Jenna]

Wait, this actually just made a little bit of sense. Because when I'm trying to be hot and sexual, it never comes across because it's like the things that I'm doing that people view as hot or sexual, I think are, like, funny in games. And when I'm trying to be hot, it's. It doesn't.

[Esther]

Why? What's the thing you do when you try to be hot?

[Jenna]

I don't know. I'd be like, yeah, something like that.

[Ian Finance]

Do it again.

[Jenna]

Yeah.

[Ian Finance]

Or like.

[Esther]

You want to eat my ass. Ay.

[Kalila]

Do you ever go through seasons in your life where you. You just feel so not hot or.

[Jenna]

Sexual where you're like, oh, are you asking us? Because obviously, yeah, I'm in it.

[Kalila]

Oh, where you're just like. You can't even imagine yourself like, you're almost embarrassed at the thought of yourself having sex.

[Esther]

Yeah. Every time I look in a mirror.

[Kalila]

Really?

[Esther]

Kidding me? Yes. It's. I'm constantly grabbing my belly and being like, you stupid pig.

[Jenna]

You don't even have a belly.

[Esther]

Yeah, I do.

[Jenna]

Are you tucking it along with your dick?

[Esther]

I don't have a belly. I don't have a dick. You can find flaws within yourself if you're looking for them. You know, it's. It's a matter of trying not to. What?

[Ian Finance]

I definitely have season, like.

[Kalila]

Oh, my God, is that you?

[Esther]

That's me at senior prom.

[Kalila]

Look at what you're wearing.

[Esther]

She and I are still friends to this day. That's my best friend, Corey.

[Jenna]

I love that.

[Esther]

And her brother's my manager. They're like family friends of mine. Jesus Christ.

[Jenna]

I did it. Out of the mic and away from me.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Ian Finance]

Into my mouth.

[Jenna]

Oh, you liked it.

[Esther]

You're sucking her tits and a burp is too far.

[Kalila]

Oh, that is so cute. Ian, I see you very. I don't know, it's like there's like a. Look at that. Look at that head of hair.

[Esther]

I know, right?

[Kalila]

Beautiful locks.

[Esther]

I know. Thanks for bringing up the thing I don't have.

[Kalila]

Would you ever go to Turkey and get your last.

[Esther]

I am letting God take over. Make me gray, make me bald. I do not care. There. I see my family in my face and I will never change with science or anything. I'm just gonna let it happen. I think that's so sweet.

[Jenna]

I have the chills again up that.

[Esther]

People do that, especially guys. It's like, so just let yourself go.

[Kalila]

Yeah, that's how I feel, actually. I. Well, here's my. Here's my take on this. There is if I meet you, but.

[Esther]

I feel like if you all band together and not do it.

[Jenna]

Yeah.

[Esther]

The next generation will change. Change. When there's like a 22 year old, it's like, oh, my wrinkle. It's like, yo, you're. You're done. Yeah, you're cooked.

[Jenna]

There's like a lot of 22 year olds getting like, what is it, bro? Anticipatory.

[Esther]

It's crazy.

[Kalila]

Prevent creative Botox.

[Esther]

And it's like, there's no wonder people. We're living in a time where people turn their backs on their family so easily now over like the smallest disagreements. Because you're changing your face. You aren't seeing your family in your face.

[Jenna]

I hate saying this.

[Esther]

Wow.

[Jenna]

Seeing your family in your face. Oh, my God.

[Kalila]

What if you hate your family?

[Ian Finance]

What if you Hate your face and your family.

[Esther]

It's on you.

[Jenna]

I never really cared about what I look like, and now I really do. And it sucks to say that, but it's just true. I've been freaking out recently about wrinkles on my forehead, but I won't get Botox because I'm afraid.

[Esther]

Honestly, I didn't know your name was Jenna. I thought they just called you old wrinkles.

[Jenna]

They do. How did you know that? So much so that this is. Wait.

[Esther]

You're beautiful.

[Jenna]

Three. Thanks.

[Ian Finance]

Don't say that about my mom.

[Jenna]

Three nights ago, I had a dream where the whole dream, people were sewing into my forehead. It was like, no. And, like, making it tight. Like, that's. That's how much I'm, like, subconsciously thinking about it.

[Ian Finance]

It's working because you look.

[Jenna]

Your forehead is.

[Ian Finance]

It looks d. What I think is.

[Kalila]

Even more insane is that if you were to look at pictures of yourself at 10, 8 years old, 12 years old, we all have wrinkles there.

[Esther]

Yeah, dude, It's.

[Kalila]

That's not. Those aren't wrinkles. That's like.

[Jenna]

They're lines of normal. Being able to move your house, move your face, and. Yeah.

[Ian Finance]

What? You have nothing.

[Kalila]

Can I give you some perspective, too?

[Jenna]

Since I have Bell's palsy, I use frownies. I'm 37.

[Kalila]

I have Bell's palsy. So half of my face is frozen. It won't be there forever.

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

But since I haven't been able to lift this eyebrow and I have no wrinkles here, it sends me into a panic, like, I've lost movement of my face. So, no, you don't want to be frozen. I miss my wrinkles. I miss my.

[Jenna]

And I don't want to get aging.

[Ian Finance]

Benefits from the bowel's palsy.

[Kalila]

I don't know if this side of my face will somehow look younger, I think, because it's been frozen for, like, months now.

[Ian Finance]

Because I have a theory that my mom looks good for age because she doesn't make facial expressions.

[Jenna]

It's true.

[Kalila]

That's like Kim Kardashian says her mom does.

[Jenna]

Not hot. Oh, yeah. This her mom excited. Oh, yeah. And this is her mom, like, really, really upset.

[Ian Finance]

Oh, she doesn't move her face.

[Esther]

Jarring.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah, it's just. She's just finished. I don't know. They. They just don't engage.

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Ian Finance]

I think that's why I probably have problems.

[Jenna]

Your mom is my best friend. Also. I will say that what I've learned from Esther's parents. Parents is that they're not the Problem? Because I used to think that they were the pro. Wait, wait.

[Ian Finance]

You promised me they were the problem.

[Jenna]

I thought that they were the problem. Like, the first time I went back home with you and visited and was in the van with your parents, I was like, oh, okay. Now I get why Esther's so up. But the more. Because it's like you can't really put your finger on the weird that Esther is. You know? It's like something's not right somewhere.

[Esther]

You can't put your finger on it, but maybe if you're one of those foam hands, put it all over.

[Jenna]

But when your mom was here the last time, and the more I bond with your mom, I'm like, this is my bitch. Like, she's kind of normal. And then your mom was saying something like, oh, yeah? What did she say? She said, oh, yeah. We would just talk about things normal, like sex and whatever. And Esther's like, ew. And I'm like, oh. Oh, you're the weird. It's not your parents. It's you.

[Ian Finance]

No, it's that they are so open about sex, and it makes. It freaks me out. It's, like, disgusting.

[Jenna]

Esther's never taken her clothes off, by the way.

[Kalila]

You think there needs to be boundaries.

[Esther]

Totally.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

Did you have a naked mom or naked parent in the household?

[Esther]

No. That's why I had a. My dad died when I was 8, and I was raised by my mom, and so I never got any sex talk. And it was like, here's a book. Read it.

[Kalila]

You know, I do think that there is a difference between kids who grow up with naked parents and dressed parents. Naked parents are what I have. You grew up with my mom, which is, like, she always was. She would get.

[Esther]

Yeah, because Mom's grabbing her vagina.

[Kalila]

I know.

[Esther]

Like, so that's.

[Jenna]

I know.

[Esther]

We shouldn't have naked parents.

[Jenna]

No.

[Kalila]

This is why I am the way I am. Because I had aunties and moms who would get dressed dressed in front of me and who would just. They were so free with their nudity.

[Esther]

Oh. I had an aunt that showed me her boobs because she had breast cancer.

[Jenna]

Very different.

[Ian Finance]

What was the reason?

[Esther]

I think I got my last head.

[Kalila]

This is gonna sound really sick, but, like, because of the cancer. Does she get a pass?

[Esther]

Oh, no, her. Oh, yeah. We didn't talk. She turned her back on us.

[Jenna]

But also, that's, like, why we're normal with bodies.

[Esther]

Like, if I hated you alive, you when you're gone. Aunt Carol, you dumb.

[Kalila]

That's a really good point. That's a really, really Carol.

[Esther]

Oh, yeah. We think she killed my grandma.

[Kalila]

Oh, I love family homicide. I have family homicide in my bloodline.

[Esther]

Really?

[Ian Finance]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

My. My uncle killed my other uncle in broad daylight with a machete.

[Jenna]

Oh, man. We go in.

[Kalila]

Was it poison? Arsenic?

[Jenna]

It was leave.

[Esther]

It was her. She got my grandmother's medication signed over to her, and then like two weeks later, she died. And me and my mom got written out of the will. Oh, like your son's not getting any of that money. He's not gonna pour it down his throat because he's a piece of alcohol. It was up.

[Kalila]

You guys listen to his trauma story.

[Esther]

I don't give a. You don't got to listen.

[Ian Finance]

I want to listen.

[Kalila]

This is crazy. So it was a med error?

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

Oh, that's. That's dark.

[Esther]

I don't ever her.

[Kalila]

You know what? Yeah, that's right. That ain't right.

[Esther]

Yeah. No, the good thing is, though, like, you know, in time, you learn to kind of like, process and whatever. And, you know, like, the silver lining is that when. When she died, she really suffered. So I think that's like, kind of.

[Jenna]

So you did process it, you did.

[Esther]

Healing, you know, ignore it. Yeah.

[Kalila]

I have a problem with, see, seeing really shitty people in suffering. And I think that there's something in my brain suffering. No, no, it's not even that I'm an empath. Like, I lit. There's something about seeing anything suffer where there's like a cockroach. I hate cockroaches. But if I see.

[Jenna]

So you're saying in general, you don't like seeing people suffer. Yeah, it sounded like you don't like seeing shitty people suffer, but you're anyway with normal people.

[Kalila]

Like, when I think about. Okay, can I tell you the sickest thought I have in my head?

[Esther]

Let's go.

[Kalila]

You know how much I'm like, very anti. Like Donald Trump, right?

[Jenna]

Ye duh. I would hope.

[Kalila]

But when I'm alone at night and I think about him as a little baby, and then I think about him as an old man wearing a little sleepy hat, going to bed, there's something in me that's like, oh, shit. He was just once a little baby, and now he's just an old man with a sleepy hat.

[Esther]

That's fair.

[Kalila]

And I don't know what.

[Esther]

Don't feel that way about people.

[Kalila]

Like, I don't know what disease that is in my brain, but I have a difficult time with babies and old people.

[Jenna]

You're just saying. I. I mean, a normal human, you shouldn't want any human to be hurting just because you.

[Esther]

Yeah. It's almost like in the quiet moments of your day, you process the fact that we're humans trying to make it. And some people are bad, some people are good, but they all deserve some form of empathy.

[Ian Finance]

That's what you're thinking about. And I'm thinking about the people mad at us for having guests that we. That they don't like.

[Jenna]

Yeah.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

Okay.

[Ian Finance]

That's how our processes are different.

[Kalila]

Guys, on that note, I'm sweating. This has been a lot cut.

[Ian Finance]

Yeah, See the Patreon for the cut stuff.

[Esther]

I had fun. This is great. I don't know what happened to you freaks, but I had a good time.

[Kalila]

Ian, we love you so, so, so, so much. You're the best.

[Esther]

I love being here. Thank you so much for having me. I'm so happy I got to come.

[Kalila]

On and hang out your day.

[Esther]

So nice meeting you.

[Ian Finance]

Where can we find you?

[Esther]

Yeah. Ianfinance.com for all my dates. I'm going all over. Being E M with Jordan is the podcast comes out every Wednesday. I have a special out on YouTube. Ian Finance wild, happy and free on YouTube.com beaniempod and come see me on the road. It's the best time. Do a note set every show. It's always fun having a blast. Come on out and. Yeah, I'll see you. I'll see you down the line. Thanks for having me, guys.

[Ian Finance]

Wait, should we also thank you, Ian. And also. Oh, I just splashed one water. Kalila has a hair care brand.

[Kalila]

Oh, thank you for reminding me.

[Esther]

I use it and I think of you every time I shower and put my little conditioner on.

[Kalila]

Oceanclub.com thank you so much.

[Ian Finance]

See ya.

[Esther]

And I'd also like to plug Pit stop.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Esther]

Do you order it?

[Ian Finance]

Made by a Freak by Tia Jenna.com and we have a Patreon which you can access at the link below. And we have a lot of good stuff on there. I am not lying to you. And then also, I will be in Chicago March 21st and 2022nd. You can get tickets at the link below at the Den theater. We'll see you guys next week with a brand new episode, a rated R episode. Bye.