Jaime Garcia Dating Simulator

Summary

Trash Tuesday w/ Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn

Episode: Jaime Garcia Dating Simulator

Date: December 30, 2025

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Episode Overview

In this celebratory year-end episode of Trash Tuesday, hosts Esther Povitsky and Khalyla Kuhn are joined by Jenna Jimenez and guest Jaime Garcia for a hilarious, chaotic, and surprisingly heartfelt conversation. The group reflects on their personal highs and lows of 2025, discusses New Year’s traditions, delves into rejection, confidence, dating, and even stages a playful "dating simulator" with Jaime and Jenna—all while keeping up their signature self-deprecating, candid, and loving trash talk. This episode offers both laughs and honest moments about growth, friendship, disappointments, and the messy realities of life and relationships.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. End-of-Year Reflections & New Year's Traditions

• Live Show Announcement & Pregnant Esther
  • The hosts excitedly announce their first live show in years, January 28th at the Comedy Store (00:22-01:51).
  • Esther, pregnant, jokes about midnight food runs: "I’ve been eating at all of them late at night after my sets because I’m pregnant" (00:51).
• Holiday Hygiene & Small Biz Plug
  • Jenna plugs her natural deodorant "Pit Stop" (01:11-01:45).
• Grocery Store on NYE
  • Esther’s anti-party take: "I think it’s such a perfect night to go to the grocery store and like it’s empty… You load up on what you need… It’s much better than going out" (04:31).
  • Growing up, Esther and her friend spent NYE at Walgreens at midnight (04:46).
• Multicultural NYE Celebrations
  • Esther asks about eating grapes at midnight—Latin & Filipino traditions discussed (05:02-06:06).
  • Khalyla on Filipino NYE: "Fireworks, explosives, lost fingers and toes, like, you know, like, warfare" (05:15).
  • Contrasts to current quiet celebrations: "Last New Year’s, what did I do? I was nursing my baby in the dark" (05:51).

2. Peaks, Valleys, and Self-Compassion

• Health & Career Lowlights
  • Jenna recounts a rough health year (eye, heart, migraines, PCOS) yet notes doing standup again as a highlight (09:37-10:49).
  • Esther discusses feeling "pathetic" during pregnancy but is praised by friends for being productive (07:49–08:46).
    • "I think if I had my physicals in order, my mentals would be in order." – Esther (08:11)
  • The group jokes about making doctor's appointments together and supporting friends through health issues—"Doctor’s appointments with friends are so much better" (13:31).
• Notable Support Story
  • Hilarious recollection of Jenna showing up to Khalyla’s health scare in a Batman costume, with Khalyla in Superman—paramedics looked on in disbelief (12:13).

3. Dating, Rejection, and Gender Dynamics

• Jaime Garcia Joins (Flowers for Jenna!)

  • Jaime enters with flowers, revealing a crush on Jenna: "On Jenna? Yeah, a little bit" (15:40).

• Sober Journey

  • Jaime’s lowlight: "The choices I was making [when drinking]"; Highlight: stopped drinking in May, gained confidence (16:37–17:03, 18:34, 49:05).
  • Discussion of alcohol and its aftereffects: "As someone who used to drink a lot… the day after… the anxiety is…" — Kalila (17:25)

• Older Women Dating

  • Jaime: "I tend to go for older women… they’re wiser, know what they want, know what they bring to the table" (18:08–18:22).

• Rejection Stories

  • The group unpacks rejection, both giving and receiving.
    • Kalila: "Second grade was my first one… said 'off' and I hear it in my sleep sometimes" (23:01).
    • Jenna: "I really do think that I’ve probably been rejected many times and I just, like, don’t clock it" (24:39–24:52).
    • Gendered catcalling—Jenna’s playful, noncommittal approach versus men’s intent (25:13–25:23).
    • Vegas escapade: Jenna gets physically thrown into a popcorn ceiling by a drunken guy she’d flirted with; later, a texting mishap with her open relationship partner (25:55–27:56).
  • Quote (Kalila): "Women can cat call and men can’t, because men cat call with the intention of wanting something… I’m cat calling, just letting you know…" (25:13)

4. “Dating Simulator”: Jaime’s First Date with Jenna

• Planning the Perfect Date
  • Jaime is coached through a mock date: offers to pick up Jenna (even in LA rush hour), double-checks food restrictions, suggests Sugarfish for sushi.
    • "What restaurant would you like to go?" — Jaime (53:37)
    • Jenna outlines her allergies; Jaime’s genuine but clumsy responses prompt laughter.
  • Jaime is awkward but sweet, sometimes losing the thread ("I was distracted by your eyes, but I still listened" — 60:30).
• Roleplay: Meeting the Parents
  • The hosts play Jenna’s parents; Jaime tries to impress them, answers questions about intentions (64:18), family, and future kids.
  • Quote (Jaime): "Yeah, I can see a future with her… Age doesn’t matter to me. Pretty sure I know what I want now" (64:40, 64:45).
• Feedback on Jaime’s Game:
  • Jenna: "There are... specific areas where you can maybe improve. I would say, overall, your energy is very good, and that’s my number one" (65:43).
  • Kalila: "I would give you, like, a… C plus" (65:39).

5. Pop Culture, Identity & Random Tangents

• 2025 Pop Culture Flashbacks
  • Brief reviews with varying levels of engagement: celebrity cheating scandals ("another man cheating… it’s not interesting" – Jenna, 30:43), Katy Perry’s (fake) Mars trip, Labubu collectibles obsession, and Kardashian family religiosity and the OJ Bible auction (30:50–34:06).
• Religion & Happiness
  • Khalyla and Jenna muse on envying religious people’s comfort and faith; structure keeps people afloat (32:21–35:23).
• Finding Roots
  • Jenna announces her Otomi tribal heritage: "That is the tribe that came up on my 23andMe… That is my new life" (44:00).
  • Bantering over the correct Spanish word for embarrassment versus pregnancy; family names and ethnic backgrounds (43:41–44:54).
• Cleanliness and Green Flags
  • Jenna’s quirky green flag: "Do you find crumbs all over your house?" ends in tales of Esther’s infamous bedside food stash (36:06–37:33).
• Masculinity, “Boy Moms” & Healthy Upbringing
  • Assessments of what kind of men they’d be based on upbringing; accolades for Kalila as inspiration for raising a “good” son (38:02–39:12).
• Ex Talk
  • The group explores men’s reluctance vs. women’s desire to dissect ex-relationships:
    • Jenna: “That word will be a trigger word for me… great and gorgeous…” (41:23–41:29)
    • Kalila: "The alternative is a red flag, which is if he talks shitty about his ex, I’m like, OK, you’re the bad guy…" (41:09)

6. Final Banter, “Frozen Waffles” Debate & New Year's Toast

• Waffle or Frozen Waffle?
  • Jaime brings a roommate debate: is it "waffle" or "frozen waffle"? Philosophical lines drawn around accuracy and intention (68:13-69:53).
• New Year’s Toast
  • The crew pops confetti, bickers over party popper mechanics, and shares an affectionate, funny wrap-up:
    • "Happy New Year!" (70:45)
    • "Thank you so much for another amazing year together… We could not have done it without you." – Esther (71:04-71:39)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Esther: "I love the grocery store on New Year's Eve… you're in the zone of starting a new lifestyle." (04:31)
• Khalyla (re: Filipino New Year's): "The Filipinos go hard with the fireworks, explosives, lost fingers and toes… warfare." (05:15)
• Jaime: "I like older women… they know what they want." (18:08)
• Jenna: "I really do think I’ve probably been rejected many times—I just don’t clock it." (24:39)
• Jenna: "Women can cat call and men can’t because men cat call with the intention of wanting something…" (25:13)
• Kalila: "The alternative is a red flag, which is if he talks shitty about his ex, I’m like, OK, you’re the bad guy…" (41:09)
• Jaime: "I was distracted by your eyes but I still listen." (60:30)
• Jenna: "There are…specific areas where you can maybe improve. I would say, overall, your energy is very good..." (65:43)
• Esther: "We never know what life is going to throw at us… but sluggies, we could not have done it without you." (71:04-71:39)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [00:22]–[01:51]: Live Show announcement, holiday plans, and business plugs
• [04:31]–[06:06]: New Years traditions: groceries, grape eating, firework stories
• [07:49]–[08:46]: Esther’s self-doubt and friends’ supportive affirmations
• [09:07]–[10:49]: Sharing highs and lows (“peaks and valleys”)
• [15:40]–[17:03]: Jaime enters with flowers, talks about quitting alcohol
• [18:08]–[18:22]: Dating older women: “wiser, know what they want…”
• [23:01]: Kalila’s first memory of rejection (“off”—from 2nd grade)
• [25:13]: Jenna on gendered catcalling
• [27:56]: Accidentally texting relationship evidence during flight
• [53:37]–[55:05]: Jaime and Jenna first date simulation—picking restaurants & food restrictions
• [64:18]–[65:43]: Meeting the parents, feedback on Jaime’s “game”
• [68:13]–[69:53]: The "frozen waffles" naming debate
• [70:45]–[71:44]: NYE confetti, wrap-up, gratitude to listeners

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Episode Tone & Takeaways

• Language/Tone: Casual, irreverent, loving, deeply self-aware, and playfully confrontational.
• Themes: Friendship, transparency, vulnerability, the hilarious side of self-sabotage and growth, and the value of being “seen” by your people no matter where you are in life.
• For New Listeners: Expect laughter, inside jokes, and sharp-edged honesty softened by genuine affection—a perfect goodbye to 2025 with some dating wisdom and celebration of unfiltered friendship.

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“Thank you so much for another amazing year together…I cannot believe we did it again.” – Esther (71:04)

Transcript

[Esther]

Hello, welcome to Sugar Fish. Hi, my name is Lisa and I'm.

[Kalila]

Your backup server, Kalila.

[Esther]

Is this a first date?

[Jaime]

Be here for an hour.

[Jenna]

Have you guys been rude? Don't like that.

[Esther]

Have you guys been here before? Are you first timers?

[Jaime]

I'm a first timer.

[Jenna]

I've been here before.

[Esther]

Sluggies. We have our most exciting news ever. January 28th. We are doing our first live show in years. Live in Los Angeles at the Comedy Store. We are going to have special guests.

[Kalila]

Maybe one Jaime Garcia. Maybe Jenna Jimenez.

[Esther]

Not maybe.

[Jenna]

I will be there.

[Jaime]

Single Jenna, hopefully.

[Esther]

But Jaime has big plans for the new year.

[Kalila]

You guys, this will be my first night out in I think two years literally. There. We haven't done this in a while.

[Esther]

I know. And the Comedy Store is so iconic. It's such a fun night out. There's such good restaurants around there as I know because I've been eating at all of them late at night after my sets because I'm pregnant. Anyways, get your tickets at the link below. We can't wait to see you January 28th in Los Angeles.

[Jenna]

What time does it start?

[Esther]

8Pm mom time. Not too late. We're in the main room.

[Jaime]

Oh, kinky.

[Esther]

See you there.

[Jenna]

Have you ever been to maybe a Christmas party and you stink and you smell bad? Yeah. You don't want that. Especially over the holidays or in the new year. So I have a fix for that. It's my natural deodorant that I homemake. It's all natural. It's called Pit stop and you can get it on by tia Jenna dot com. That's by T I A J N N A dot com.

[Jaime]

Is it for men or women?

[Jenna]

Any human who has armpits. It's for you. What?

[Jaime]

It smells like homemade waffles.

[Jenna]

Thank you. Thank you. It's all natural ingredients. There's no aluminum. There's no trash. There's no in it.

[Jaime]

It's delicious.

[Jenna]

And only for sluggies. You can use the code trash at checkout for a code. And I now have subscriptions which also get you money off by dot com.

[Jaime]

Nice.

[Esther]

Look at how beautiful our New Year's Eve, you guys. We actually have decorations.

[Jenna]

Damn, Klila. Why do you keep looking so good?

[Kalila]

Look how beautiful I look.

[Esther]

I actually love that hoodie.

[Jenna]

No bra holes.

[Esther]

Where is that hoodie? It's the perfect. Like I stole this out of a trunk.

[Kalila]

I'll tell you what's this is actually not my favorite hoodie. But I'll tell you one that's so good. The Perfect weight. The perfect length is akimbo.

[Esther]

I've never even heard of it.

[Jenna]

Esther wants to know what that one is, though. Yeah.

[Esther]

Thank you, lawyer.

[Kalila]

I got this. Black Friday on TikTok.

[Esther]

Oh, my God. That's the TikTok Shop hoodie. I've been eyeing that. That why I didn't want to say.

[Kalila]

I was like, please get a Kimbo.

[Esther]

I don't understand. Wait, am I the only one that doesn't know how I feel about Tik Tok Shop?

[Kalila]

Like, I have weird feelings about it.

[Esther]

I see things, I want them, but I don't trust them. But then, like, I will buy things and it. It's just confusing.

[Kalila]

Well, everybody has a TikTok Shop, so. Yes, you can. Yes. I mean, all of, like, the. The more reliable ones. I was just telling.

[Jenna]

It's not just like Temu.

[Kalila]

No, I know the vacuums from tik tok. The $50 ones. I was just telling her aces. Really good.

[Jenna]

I need one for my car.

[Kalila]

Oh, yeah, Tik Tok Shop. I know. Actually, don't, because I don't know who's making these vacuums.

[Esther]

It just seems so shady. But then I'll see things and I'm like, this is good. And I buy this already.

[Jenna]

Yeah, it just seemed like another product that's actually good.

[Kalila]

No. Can I tell you, the bull about it all is like, they all probably are made in the same factory and they're all just packaged differently. And it's like the same with a Lululemon. Bullshit. Like, you can find a dupe that's like 50 times better for, you know, a tenth of the price.

[Jenna]

I bet you're right. I mean, I know you're right.

[Kalila]

Sucks, but.

[Esther]

Well, we're at a New Year's party, we're being stood up by the guy.

[Jenna]

Good.

[Kalila]

When is the last time you actually went to a New Year's party? Or, like, did anything cute and like, romantic, like kiss a boy words or not?

[Jenna]

Oh, I remember the last time I went to a New Year's party. It was 2017, after me got back from Peru and we had a New Year's kiss.

[Kalila]

But was it memorable or was it like, eh, we're together.

[Jenna]

I was with Gilbert too, so I guess it was.

[Kalila]

Did you kiss Gilbert?

[Jenna]

We, like, it was like, me, Kyle, Gilbert, we, like, all went in on, like, the same.

[Kalila]

And then.

[Jenna]

And I like, did a real kiss.

[Kalila]

Do you and Dave kiss on New Year's?

[Esther]

If I'm awake, yeah. Nobody likes my take on New Year's Eve. I get hate for it. Every year.

[Kalila]

Let's hear it.

[Esther]

I think it's such a perfect night to go to the grocery store and like it's empty. You load up on what you need. You're like in the zone of starting a new lifestyle.

[Jenna]

You're talking to the right people, girl.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Esther]

I love the grocery store on New Year's Eve. When I was in elementary school, in middle school, me and my best friend cuz we had a 24 hour Walgreens. So we always like to be at Walgreens when the clock struck midnight. Just cuz we could.

[Jenna]

Like we can.

[Esther]

So we will, so we can, so we will.

[Jenna]

Love that.

[Esther]

She always had us eating grapes at midnight. Is that like a Latin thing?

[Kalila]

I love it because that's what Filipinos do. It must be Latin.

[Esther]

Yeah, I just like cozy night. I can't imagine you're doing anything different.

[Kalila]

Listen, that's not the vibe I grew up in. The Filipinos go hard with the fireworks, explosives, lost fingers and toes like, you know, like warfare. Since my childhood though, they have like set out new laws to be like, hey, we can't party like this anymore. Like people are losing limbs and shit. Oh God. I want to take you guys to ever beach in Hawaii New Year's Eve.

[Jenna]

I'm too tired.

[Kalila]

Your ears will like fly off your. It's. It's a lot.

[Esther]

I'll be calling the police. That's what I do on fourth of July.

[Jenna]

Oh God.

[Kalila]

But that's how I grew up. But now as an like last New Year's, what did I do? I was like nursing my baby in the dark.

[Jenna]

Oh my God. Will you nurse me in the dark?

[Kalila]

Yeah. How many, how many ounces you need, girl?

[Jenna]

Probably 16.

[Esther]

I don't have that much. If you guys listen to me right now. If you guys do that, if you breastfeed off of her. If you both allow this, what are.

[Jenna]

You gonna give us?

[Esther]

You can ask me for whatever you want. And I will give or do.

[Kalila]

I will know.

[Jenna]

You're not gonna easy. It's so easy.

[Kalila]

I don't know. But I mean, you could try. I'll give you one letdown you later.

[Jenna]

It'll just be a big letdown.

[Esther]

This is the end of the year episode. This is like scaring me.

[Kalila]

Is it?

[Esther]

Yeah. Like the year went by too fast and like I. It all got ruined for me because I got pregnant.

[Jenna]

Sam. I feel like it all got ruined for me because of my health. Like from January to March I was like, let's go. And then it was just like, well, what's this year been.

[Kalila]

But you know, I will say, and you're not, you're going to be like, that's not true. And you won't admit to it. But you have that same pregnancy battery that I had and you're gonna be like, I'm so tired. She's doing all the vlogs, she's doing all the content she has. She. She won't admit to it.

[Jenna]

You should see the text that I sent her of the lists that she does.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Jenna]

Of things. But I will say she's doing them in like between the one to two hours that she feels like she's able to even get out of bed and like not have a stomachache or like not be.

[Kalila]

I believe that the in between times are like your pelv. Whatever. Hu. But in your first pregnancy too, Like, I was in awe of how much you got done. Like you had a movie coming out. You were flying up until like 37 weeks.

[Jenna]

Like she was all over the place, tours and shows. She's doing more Internet content than I've ever done. She's editing, she's spending the time, she's trying to eat food that's good for her.

[Esther]

And I'm glad you're saying this. I'm. I mean, I'm trying, but I'm not. I'm eating bagels every meal.

[Jenna]

But like, good for you, if that's what you need.

[Esther]

I will say that I have this, this, this self hatred, this self punishing where I feel so sorry for myself. I'm so pathetic. But it's like I'm not doing any walking. You know, I'm my. I think if I had my physical.

[Jenna]

My physicals in order, your mentals would be in order.

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Esther]

So I do really appreciate these words and I'm taking them in. Like I genuinely am. I do appreciate it because I don't feel good about myself.

[Jenna]

This is like that thing where my friends listen to everything that everyone else says, but like if I say it, they don't believe it. It has to be corrected with someone else.

[Kalila]

It's you too close.

[Jenna]

And so it's like she hasn't.

[Esther]

No, I trust you guys. I believe you guys.

[Jenna]

But now that you're saying it, that's not true. Literally yesterday, I feel good.

[Esther]

Yesterday you texted me, you're like, you need to stop this. This is all the stuff you've done. And I was like, I'm here, I'm taking this in.

[Jenna]

Yeah. We didn't say you appreciated it. You were just like, yes.

[Esther]

Speaking of, do We. I. And this question is. I don't want to answer it at all. And I have no answer. Does anyone have a highlight of their year?

[Jenna]

I have a highlighter in my bag.

[Kalila]

Let's talk about our lowlights and highlights.

[Jenna]

Okay. Our peaks and valleys, popcorn style.

[Esther]

Who's got.

[Kalila]

Okay, start with a low light. Somebody hit me because I'm about to come up with some sad.

[Jenna]

Fine, I'll give you all my low lights.

[Esther]

We do this every week.

[Kalila]

We don't need New Year's for this.

[Jenna]

Am I really going with the low light?

[Kalila]

Yes. Start with a low light and then one low light light. One highlight, not one.

[Jenna]

Jenna, health and career.

[Kalila]

Okay. Yeah. Your eye. Low light.

[Jenna]

My eye, my heart, my migraines, my pcos.

[Kalila]

Those are low lights. What's a highlight?

[Jenna]

A highlight is. It'll come to me.

[Kalila]

She's coming on it. Pray on it.

[Jenna]

You know what? My high is how the year started.

[Kalila]

And with wildfires.

[Jenna]

Oh, no.

[Esther]

Locked away in Palm Springs with me.

[Jenna]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

That's how our year started.

[Jenna]

Remember when Esther discovered that I was ugly? No. You know what? I was hopeful. Hope is a big thing for me. Like, even if nothing is happening, the hope. I felt hopeful. Obviously, I was devastated by the fires and very sad. But I started doing stand up again, and that was really huge. And I did some shows with Esther and some shows with Melissa. Doing standup felt good because it felt like I was creating again. And then from doing standup, I. I booked stuff. I booked pilot presentations, I booked a commercial, which was actually from doing Trash Tuesday because this casting director from when I was like 13 recognized me on Trash Tuesday was like, oh, Jenna exists. What about her? So those are.

[Kalila]

Remember that? Okay, yeah. Remember that?

[Esther]

Cause Kalila's about to ask you to drive her.

[Jenna]

But it wasn't because of Trash Tuesday.

[Kalila]

Okay?

[Jenna]

He already been known. You just.

[Kalila]

You just said it was because of Trash Tuesday. And remember that when we asked you about January 6th?

[Esther]

Because we're storming the capital, baby.

[Kalila]

Because not quite the capital, but her and I both have doctor's appointments we'd like you to drive us to.

[Esther]

I would never dare ask you to drive. And I have text proof.

[Jenna]

January 7th, by the way, was the Altadena fires. Oh, no, I was saying that January 7th, I actually either riots or five minutes.

[Kalila]

You have what?

[Jenna]

I have two doctor cardio appointments at UCLA.

[Esther]

2026. New Year's resolution for this friend group is go to doctor's appointments together.

[Jenna]

Yeah, I've been asking that for a thousand years. But, like, all I Ever do is drive people to doctor's appointments. Okay.

[Esther]

Not me, but respect you do. I, I. You are always driving friends. I know that.

[Kalila]

But also, I have been to many doctor's appointments with you.

[Jenna]

Yes.

[Kalila]

And, yeah, I have Jenna sit on my lap when she gets blood drawn.

[Jenna]

And when I got my vaccine, I sat on her lap because she sobbing. Yeah, but I did drive us both.

[Jaime]

Your.

[Kalila]

That staff infection in your armpit.

[Jenna]

Kalila and I have been through some.

[Kalila]

Health times, just medicals.

[Jenna]

Do you remember when I showed up in a. I just happened to be in a Batman outfit or Superman outfit when you were having an episode and.

[Kalila]

I was in a Superman outfit and.

[Jenna]

I was in Batman. Was it.

[Kalila]

Can I tell you what happened the first time I ever had a real, like, cardiac episode where I needed to call 91 1. Like, I almost, like, passed out. And I was alone 200. So I called Jenna. I was like, hey, I'm having, like.

[Jenna]

A really bad call me. When I was, like, asleep.

[Kalila]

And it just. Sadly, I was in a Superman onesie when all I was eating meatballs on a couch with a Superman onesie on, just alone. Hotter and hotter, Jenna comes over. The paramedics come, but she comes to rescue me in a Batman onesie that I just.

[Jenna]

I. It's just what I was in.

[Kalila]

And they're. They're looking at us like we're on drugs, like, this is a prank.

[Jenna]

Lila's on the floor.

[Kalila]

I'm on the floor in the hallway because I'm like, if I die, I want someone to visual, like, see my dead body like this.

[Jenna]

I'm spread out, trying to stay alive.

[Kalila]

And I was telling my neighbor, telling my neighbors, I was like, if I lose consciousness, here's my information.

[Jenna]

It's real.

[Kalila]

But it was a shock when you showed up in the onesie. I was like, what is happening? That we are not superheroes after all.

[Esther]

That is a real thing that I do where I'll tell you. Text Jenna and Dave on a group text and be like, just so you guys know, as I'm falling asleep, like, I feel this tingling in my leg. So if I don't wake up, like, look, trace back to that.

[Jenna]

And she just goes. And I just want to make sure that, like, someone that, like, Ace is going to be okay and Donut will be okay. And I'm like, yeah, I'm adopting all of them. Yeah, I agree, though. Doctor's appointments with friends are so much better. So maybe what we do is we have some sort of spreadsheet. You put it in that's right. If someone can go. I know it's too much work. If someone can. Or a text or a notes. A note. A shared note.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Jenna]

And if someone can go that day, then we go.

[Kalila]

I mean, my sister usually takes me to all of my appointments, so I'll ask her if she can.

[Jenna]

Love that. I don't want to do that.

[Esther]

Why am I. I'm fine driving to my own appointment.

[Kalila]

You know, I couldn't not so when I was pregnant, I couldn't not drive because I was so nauseous and felt so ill. You. You had to drive, so I had to drive. I couldn't be a passenger, like, ever. And, you know, I'm a passenger, princess. And the fact that big ass aloha next to me, this man in my little, like, car was just like, this feels wrong. And I'm just so huge.

[Esther]

I like dry. I like the control of driving. Like, I don't like Ubers. Like, I like having my car and being like, okay, well, if I want to go do whatever I want after this or if I want to just leave quick. Like, I love it.

[Jenna]

Like, once you almost die because of something medical, everything shifts, right? And you're like, I need someone there because I could die. Is that how it is for you?

[Kalila]

Yeah. I'm stuck on the Uber thing. I'm so scarred by Uber. Being a passenger.

[Jenna]

Oh, my God.

[Kalila]

Uber Tesla.

[Jenna]

I thought you were saying scared, but with your accent. So scarred.

[Kalila]

I scarred. Hi, Jaime. Come on in. Oh, he came with flowers.

[Esther]

Hi, Jaime.

[Jaime]

Hey, how you doing? Hi, my Garcia. This is for you.

[Kalila]

Oh, my God. I thought it was for all of us, and then it's just for Jenna.

[Esther]

Do you guys know each other?

[Jenna]

Wait, is this, like, the Bachelor?

[Jaime]

How you doing?

[Jenna]

This is so a little cool. This is so sweet, the way you came in and just asserted yourself like that. What's up?

[Jaime]

What's up?

[Kalila]

What's good?

[Jaime]

Not much. Just here in bear banking.

[Kalila]

Do you have a crush or something?

[Esther]

Hi, miss.

[Jaime]

On Jenna? Yeah, a little bit.

[Kalila]

Oh. Because, you know, in tiger belly, he was like, hey, I'm doing trash Tuesday. And you know Jenna. I'm like, okay. I didn't clock it until now. The flowers.

[Jenna]

That is so sweet.

[Jaime]

You can have them.

[Esther]

You gave them.

[Jenna]

I was hoping that I could have them. Do you usually typically give things and then just take them right back?

[Kalila]

Okay.

[Jenna]

No, I said right here.

[Kalila]

Welcome. What has been a low light and a highlight of this past year?

[Jenna]

Are you chewing dip?

[Jaime]

No. A gum. Okay.

[Jenna]

Oh, okay. You could just keep that in here.

[Jaime]

What would you say?

[Kalila]

So your least favorite thing that happened this year and your favorite thing that happened this year.

[Jaime]

My favorite thing. I got to be on the road more and work out material and stop drinking.

[Kalila]

You stop drinking completely.

[Jenna]

That is really.

[Esther]

When?

[Jaime]

In May.

[Esther]

Congratulations.

[Jenna]

Did you say I don't drink and then point to me?

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Jaime]

I don't know. You like a guy who drinks or.

[Jenna]

You know, I mean, I don't know if you know, but I have a partner.

[Jaime]

Like a comedy writer.

[Jenna]

You know, we'll just not. We'll just not mention a crush on you. I do like a guy who doesn't drink.

[Jaime]

Drink. Yeah. This green flag, right?

[Jenna]

Yes, very green flag.

[Kalila]

Why did you stop drinking?

[Jaime]

Just because, like, I like. I don't like the effect.

[Kalila]

The way you felt or the decisions that you were making.

[Jaime]

The choices I was making.

[Jenna]

Yeah, but you liked the way you felt Sometimes.

[Jaime]

Yeah.

[Jenna]

But then the come down. Esther and I were just talking about this. We just learned about the comedown from alcohol.

[Esther]

Makes you, like, more anxious after and depressed.

[Kalila]

100. As someone who used to drink a lot. A lot, dude. The day after. And then actually a couple days after, the anxiety is.

[Jenna]

That's what I've heard. Yeah. Okay. This is something I learned like two years ago that there's. Because I just pictured it as like, I'm so tired. I need to eat food. Like what my friends would say, or like, I have a headache or I'm nauseous. The anxiety and the sadness. They said they felt like. Yeah. Three up to three days after. Sometimes a week.

[Jaime]

Oh, you're getting old too. So how. You're 29.

[Jenna]

You look young.

[Jaime]

29, bitch.

[Jenna]

I'm like 10 years older than you.

[Jaime]

Oh, yeah. So we wouldn't work out right now.

[Esther]

Well, how do you feel about that?

[Jaime]

What?

[Jenna]

I know you like an older woman.

[Jaime]

I. I tend to go for older women.

[Jenna]

Okay. We like that. That's a green flag too.

[Jaime]

Because they're more experienced in life. You know, they're more. No, like, they're more.

[Kalila]

Glad you said. In life.

[Jenna]

Yeah, in life.

[Jaime]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

Oh, yeah.

[Jaime]

They're more wiser. They know what they want. They know what they bring to the table. You know, I hate.

[Jenna]

I mean, we bring everything to the table.

[Kalila]

What we want. Wait, Jaime. And then. So you stopped drinking. That's a. That's a highlight.

[Jenna]

That's amazing.

[Jaime]

Yeah. I gotta stop saying I'm sober because I was never. I don't know. This is. The comments, they're like, Jaime was never an alcoholic. But what is an alcoholic?

[Jenna]

Someone who's addicted to alcohol and drinking and like, really, really struggles. Like, are you really struggling every single day to not drink?

[Jaime]

Like the first two months? Yeah, because everybody.

[Jenna]

Yeah, that's like you're whatever you want to be.

[Esther]

If you are whatever you're sober, alcoholic, you are. But Dr. Drew said nobody can tell you otherwise.

[Jaime]

Not the comments, nothing.

[Kalila]

But that's especially not that definition of just addiction in general. Not just alcoholism is consequences. If what you're doing has a consequence in your relationships, your friendships, your work, the way you feel, your physicality, every. Whatever it is, if you have ex. Consequences from this drug that you're doing, it's probably something to look into.

[Jenna]

But who, who doesn't have consequences if they're drinking?

[Kalila]

A lot of people. A lot of people who just like, you know, leisurely drink and they have a nice time, they go home with their partner and every. Their life just resumes. There's a lot of people who do it.

[Jenna]

Consequences of drinking.

[Kalila]

Yeah. There are people who.

[Jenna]

Your body.

[Kalila]

No, some people don't feel that horrible. I feel physical, but like, maybe they.

[Jenna]

Don'T feel it, but their body.

[Kalila]

No, one, two drinks is not going to trash you completely.

[Esther]

They have a glass of wine at dinner.

[Jenna]

Yeah, okay. Okay. Yeah, that makes sense.

[Jaime]

And a lot of single guys, we, some of us, we go out to, you know, have one night stands. And then, you know, after so many nights of rejection, we drink and then we get depressed when we go home. Well, I get depressed when I go home. When I was drinking and not going home with nobody.

[Esther]

Oh, my God. I'll never forget when I was on the road, I did the La Jolla Comedy Store. And that was when, like, you had to share the condo with like, like all the other people on the show. And it was me and like three other guys. And every single night, the guy, one of like the headliners I was with, he'd be like, look, Esther, like, I just want to let you know, like, I'm not going to be making it back to the condo with you tonight. But like, don't take it personally. Like, I'm just, you know, I'm probably going to be with. And then every single night he would be headed back to the condo.

[Jenna]

Oh, my God, that is so good.

[Kalila]

I know.

[Esther]

It was so funny because every. He was like, like, so for sure. You were probably like, okay, yeah, didn't care at all. Either way. It was so good.

[Jenna]

Would he ever mention anything about him coming back?

[Esther]

We went back together.

[Jenna]

I thought like, he would come back after the night.

[Esther]

No, like, we would go to the show together, and then he would assume that he would have to, you know, we would drive back together.

[Kalila]

Have you ever been as a. I'll ask you in a sec.

[Esther]

Jaime.

[Kalila]

Have you ever been as a woman, like, like, flat out rejected?

[Jenna]

I'm sure, but I don't notice it, but I know it had to happen.

[Esther]

Yes.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Esther]

Yes. There is a comedian that I used to have the biggest crush on. I'm friendly with now, but, like, in my early 20s, I just was like, you're really hot. And he was just like. Didn't say anything back, and it was uncomfortable.

[Jenna]

See, I don't even see that as rejection, because if so, I'm rejected 24 7, baby.

[Esther]

No, you feel it when they're like. Because you. There's a difference. Like, you're hot. It's like, oh, like, thanks. It's like, you're hot. Like.

[Jenna]

No, I guess that happened to me a lot in college when I used to go around or even when we used to go out, and I would, like, go up and check to see if a dude was hot.

[Kalila]

Yeah, but the way you do it, you don't really want them. You're just.

[Esther]

Yeah, I know. You're playing around.

[Kalila]

You're almost, like, harassing them. Honestly, you're just out harassing them. Yeah, she's just cat calling mentally, because it's like.

[Esther]

You ever been rejected by a man? Man?

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Esther]

Right.

[Kalila]

Second grade was my first one. And I'll never forget story. And I've told this story, I swear.

[Jenna]

I'm just gonna say before you tell the story, I know already that they rejected you because they liked you. Continue.

[Kalila]

They didn't. He was the cool boy. He turned out to be a really short, loser, like, conspiracy theorist. So thank God.

[Jaime]

Taxi. Taxi cab driver. All right. What?

[Esther]

Why did you say last time?

[Kalila]

Absolutely.

[Jaime]

You ever seen those movies?

[Kalila]

Taxi Driver?

[Jaime]

No. Like, he became a taxi driver or something.

[Kalila]

Oh, Robert De Niro.

[Jaime]

No, no.

[Jenna]

I'm talking about saying, like, this dude, his personality. You know what? I get you.

[Kalila]

What is it? What is it?

[Jenna]

I get you. I got you. He's saying, like, this type of personality, he ended up as, like, a short taxicab driver.

[Jaime]

Yeah.

[Jenna]

Thank you.

[Kalila]

I thought it was a movie reference.

[Jenna]

Yeah, he was saying, like, he's seen movies like that where that's how the story pans out.

[Jaime]

The quarterback tech, he was so hot and cool and sleeping with the girls in high school. And then he peaked the high school.

[Kalila]

And not quite, because this was second grade.

[Jenna]

Also, taxi cab drivers.

[Kalila]

He Peaked in second grade, okay. And so all the girls liked him, but I went out of my way. So everyone, it was like Halloween and we had this like face painting game of like chase. And everyone was like putting like colors on each other. And then I made the mistake sake of asking if I could paint his face instead of just doing this. And I was like, hey, like, can I, can I paint your face? And he goes off, like to my face. He said off. And I like hear it in my sleep sometimes. The second time was maybe not a real rejection, but I was at UNLV and I hooked up with a baseball player. I don't think he was the brightest bulb.

[Esther]

Oh, the athletes in college are always stupid.

[Kalila]

But he was so good looking. And I would always see him at the cafeteria and I'd be like, wow, he's really hot. So anyways, made out with him all night and then at the end of the next morning, he was like, it was really good to meet you, Malaysia. And then he took off and I never corrected him. And I feel like that's a. That felt like a rejection.

[Esther]

Maybe he thought you were like the airline, Malaysian airline, and he thought you needed to disappear.

[Kalila]

It hadn't happened yet.

[Esther]

Predicting it.

[Jenna]

Malaysia.

[Kalila]

Malaysia. And so I was like, oh, I feel that feeling.

[Jenna]

I was like, dang, Malaysia is a dope ass name.

[Esther]

Malaysia.

[Jenna]

Oh my God. Malaysia.

[Kalila]

I think she was like a reality star, really pretty one.

[Jenna]

So this I've never. You know, this whole thing about rejection is interesting because I really do think that I've probably been rejected many times and I just like, don't clock it.

[Esther]

Oh my God, she wants to fit in so bad right now.

[Jenna]

I do, I do. But here's the thing. I didn't start even like catcalling or dating until, as you know, I was like 21. So it happened way late.

[Kalila]

But you only caught dudes you don't want want.

[Jenna]

No, I can't call dudes who I think are hot. It doesn't mean that I want them. No, correct. But this is why cat calling. Women can cat call and men can't because men cat call with the intention of wanting something, following you home, being annoying. I'm cat calling, letting, just letting you.

[Jaime]

Know, to bring our spirits up.

[Jenna]

They're like, you're hot. Like, I'll walk up to a dude, you're fine. I want to sit on your face. Goodbye, keep walking. It's like, that's how you do it. And then if, if they want to come to you, then they can.

[Kalila]

I have seen Jenna in action. So she'll be like, you're hot. Let me sit on your face. And the guy's like, okay. And she's like. She runs away and she rejects them.

[Jenna]

You've also seen me in action where I do that, and it kind of works.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Jenna]

And then he was too drunk. Remember when we were in Vegas?

[Kalila]

Oh, yeah. Jenna met a guy she cat called a guy. And then they were, like, dancing, and then he picked her up, thinking that it was like a. A cute move to, like, a Dirty Dancing move. And he threw her onto the ceiling. She's not into, like, the popcorn ceiling, like, into the light. Oh, my God.

[Jenna]

With my head. I'm like, going.

[Kalila]

And her head was like, her neck. There's a. I have a picture of it. Her neck cracked. It was as best. Raining as best.

[Esther]

And he's like, there's nothing I hate more like stories from your guys's past.

[Jenna]

Being someone being drunk, though, is so gross. It's such a turn. And so although I cat called him. And then he broke your neck, he came back, and I was like, okay, we could do. Did I kiss him?

[Kalila]

You did. Yeah. I have pictures.

[Jenna]

Okay. So I kissed him because I'm like, I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna go out and, like, do this thing. And. And then he was just, like. He started talking to me about his family, and he was drunk, and I was like, kalila, we gotta go.

[Kalila]

There's one more element of this story that's funny, and we can cut this out if you don't want, but we were on Spirit Airlines on the way back.

[Jenna]

You. Yeah, I was in an open relationship at that time, and I was not, like, taking advantage of it. Right. So I had all these pictures of.

[Kalila]

Her and asbestos guy with her neck cranked and stuff, and I sent it to her, and she meant to send it to, like, the group chat or her friends, but she accidentally sent it right before the plane takes off, and you lose WI fi. She sends it. We're in the back.

[Jenna]

This is not an over exaggeration. Everything she's saying is. Is exactly how it happened.

[Kalila]

So we're all in a row, and she texts the photograph, a bunch of them to the guy she's in an open relationship with. And then the plane takes off, and she cannot. There's no unsend at that time.

[Esther]

What happened when you landed?

[Jenna]

He said nothing. And I said, like, hey, sorry, I. I meant to send those to Kalila in the group. And he just goes, goes, yeah, I figured. And I just go, okay.

[Jaime]

He's okay with it, right?

[Jenna]

Okay with it. It's like it's the agreement. We were communicating. I wasn't lying. It's not like the pictures were of me having sex. We didn't have sex together, but he was just like, I don't want to know about it, you know? Yeah, it was just me being. The pictures were like, of me with the nipple covers being slammed into the ceiling by a man dressed in a kangaroo.

[Kalila]

Okay, so real quick. I actually use Cash App all the time. It's how I split my dinners, pay my friends back, all of the things. I love it because it's fast, it's simple, and it doesn't feel like homework. To send money, you can send, receive, invest. You can buy stocks on Cash App all in one app. And if you don't have Cash App yet, download it now. Another super cool thing about Cash App is that now you can design your own debit card. You can pick from a bunch of different colors and patterns, add your favorite stamp, stamps, doodles, or even you and your friends inside jokes to make it totally unique to you. You also get exclusive savings on stuff you're already buying like coffee, Boba, video games, and more. And if you're the type who loves concerts, your Cash App gets you early access to ticket sales for huge tours like Kendrick Lamar, Sza and Sabrina Carpenter. Finally, no need to worry about random monthly charges or minimum balance requirements. Take control of your money today with Cash App. If you're between 13 and 17, you can still sign up. Just ask your parent or guardian to help to open up a Cash App sponsored account. And for a limited time, new Cash app customers over 18 years old can earn $10 if they use code thatsmoney10 in their profile at signup and send $5 to a friend within 14 days. If you're 13 to 17 years old, request a sponsored account from a parent or guardian. Sign up with a code thatsmoney10 and get $10 dropped into your account when you order and activate your Cash App card and send $5 or more to a friend with a within the first 14 days term supply. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App Bank Partners. Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton bank member fdic. Discounts provided by Cash App a Block Inc. Brand Visit Cash App legal podcast for full disclosures.

[Esther]

Very uncomfortable today, so I'm in weird positions all day. Sorry, guys.

[Jenna]

Okay, this is normal, but blur out the double chin.

[Esther]

I'm gonna list some of the biggest pop Culture moments of the year. And Jaime and anyone else. I want to hear what your thoughts are.

[Jenna]

Wow. I don't care about any of them already.

[Esther]

Play concert, cheating, scandal.

[Jenna]

Can you tell me. You're gonna have to tell me what each thing is.

[Kalila]

Wait, no. You couldn't have missed this one. Jaime, do you know about this?

[Jaime]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

Okay.

[Jaime]

I was there.

[Jenna]

Is it the. Is it the guy who's kissing someone?

[Kalila]

He was holding the woman that wasn't his wife.

[Jenna]

Oh, yeah. And then he tried to.

[Kalila]

And Chris Martin was like, oh, look at that couple.

[Jenna]

Yes, okay, I did see that. That one's crazy.

[Esther]

It's kind of boring to me.

[Jenna]

It's not boring. I mean, I guess it's. It's. It's more so tired. It's like, yeah, another man cheating. Like, I don't know.

[Jaime]

Yeah, it's disgusting.

[Esther]

Katy Perry went to space going to Mars. She did not go to Mars.

[Jaime]

She went to Mars to get some moon rocks.

[Esther]

She went to space, face. For eight minutes.

[Jaime]

Eight minutes. And she's.

[Kalila]

And she's. Now I feel like the more interesting thing is that she's dating Justin Trudeau.

[Esther]

I feel like they're so gross.

[Kalila]

I feel I'm pretty icked out about it, too.

[Jenna]

Justin Trudeau, the ex Canadian.

[Jaime]

Oh, ex Canadian. How do you.

[Kalila]

The exc. Canadian.

[Jenna]

I remember thinking he was so hot, and now that he's dating her, I don't think he's that hot.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Esther]

How do you feel about everyone who spent money on Labubus this year?

[Kalila]

You know, it's just another collectible thing that people get into.

[Jenna]

And it's not a beanie Baby, and it's not like them. And it. It's not.

[Jaime]

I hated them.

[Esther]

You know, it is embarrassing, but I will say it's almost like how I feel about religion and believing in God. It's like, I don't want to do that, but if you are doing that, I know that you're happier than me. Like, if you have your Labubu collection and you're, like, spending your money and researching, I'm like, you're. You're doing better than I am.

[Jenna]

You're a very good correlation.

[Esther]

You're happy like you believe in something.

[Kalila]

I do very much envy the delusion of being very pious and religious. Like, when. When I see these people go through hard times, the fact that they. They always, like, this is part of God's plan. They kind of just leave it up to a higher power. And I'm not able to think like that, but they are. I envy that That I envy that.

[Esther]

It's like, you know, the Kardashians are really religious.

[Kalila]

Is it for. For real? For real or just go to church?

[Esther]

The real thing. Did you guys see that? This is my highlight of the year. So the OJ Estate had an auction of all of his things, and one of the things they were selling was a Bible that Robert Kardashian gifted to O.J. simpson after the murders happened. And it was. It was his bi. It was Robert's Bible. So this was their dad's Bible. It had his name inscribed on it, and it had a handwritten note in it and. And all like their dad's underlining in.

[Kalila]

His own Bible written to a murderer.

[Esther]

Yeah, well, that part.

[Jenna]

I wonder if it was like, all just like hidden clues that he underlined and like the underlying words and sentences, like, created a message.

[Esther]

I don't think so. I don't know.

[Jenna]

Have you ever seen a movie? It's like, you know. Exactly. And then the person goes, da Vinci, I did it. They're telling him to lie.

[Jaime]

Yeah.

[Jenna]

And they figured out, but.

[Esther]

So Kim bought it at the auction secretly for $80,000.

[Kalila]

Wow.

[Jaime]

That's nothing too.

[Jenna]

Yeah, it's like a KitKat bar to me.

[Esther]

But they are religious and also, like, Like, I am not surprised, like, if that was your dad's Bible, I mean, Kyla, you have a father who passed away years ago. Would you, like, dig into your pockets to try to get something?

[Kalila]

Yeah, probably.

[Jenna]

If.

[Kalila]

If it had his writing in it, I wouldn't even. Because my dad's writing was very special and very specific and I remember how he writes and I don't have a lot of that left except for birthday cards. And so I would want to. Yeah, that makes sense. I would want to buy that.

[Jenna]

Yeah. I'm with you about religious people, though.

[Esther]

They're so much better off than us.

[Jenna]

They are my, one of my best friends, David, from growing up. He is so religious. We both understand that we're not on the same page, but that, like, in some way it's just us wishing the best for each other. Like, he wakes up at 4 o' clock in the morning and he does his devotions every single day. And I'm always like, david, just sleep. The Lord wants you to sleep. And he's like, this is my meditation time. This is the time that I have to do it before I get to work. Like, it has to be this way. People with structure are way better. And ever since I was little, I remember my mom teaching me because we grew up in A household that was just, like, non religious. And she was like, this is what keeps him going, Jenna. You have to understand that, like, for some people, it's something else. And now it's so cute because we're in our 30s. And even just this morning, every morning, he sends me a YouTube prayer. That's like, what. What he does today.

[Esther]

That's a little much.

[Jenna]

No, because he also knows I. He knows that I'm like, david, I'm not. I'm not listening to this, but he'll send me, like, a little excerpt of it. And it's just like, you can change the way that you think, blah, blah, blah. And I just, like, delete in my head, like, the God, God. The God stuff.

[Kalila]

Are you.

[Esther]

Are you religious at all?

[Jaime]

No.

[Jenna]

Okay, good. Did you green. Oh, oh.

[Esther]

Do you have any other green flag questions for him?

[Jenna]

Oh, do you spill a lot of.

[Jaime]

Crumbs when I eat?

[Jenna]

Yeah.

[Jaime]

At dinner.

[Jenna]

Do you like, do you find crumbs all over your house?

[Esther]

What about him is making you ask that?

[Jenna]

That's just one of my green flag questions. In general. For anyone.

[Kalila]

Oh, that's a very specific team.

[Jenna]

You seem very clean green.

[Jaime]

Yeah, I seem. I eat. I get a new sweater sometimes, and then when I'm at dinner, I spill ketchup on it sometimes.

[Jenna]

That's cute.

[Kalila]

That's endearing. Also, the crumbs thing is not like a universal green red. That's just a Jonathan.

[Jenna]

Yeah, that's just a me thing. Yeah, I meant. I don't mean crumbs here. I mean, like, in your house, do.

[Esther]

Some women like crumbs? I don't think that when I.

[Kalila]

When I eat, I eat with my heart.

[Jenna]

What am I talking about when you're eating? I'm talking about, like, there's crumbs by your bed. There's.

[Kalila]

Oh, yeah, gross. Yeah.

[Jaime]

No, I don't eat my bum. I don't eat bed. I eat in the kitchen.

[Jenna]

Green flag.

[Esther]

Jenna watched me eat in my bed yesterday.

[Jenna]

And then. And then she put it into the drawer next to her bed. Just like Bobby. She put in chicken and green beans left over.

[Kalila]

It wasn't an even. It wasn't an empty platter. There was still food in it.

[Jenna]

You put it in your drawer? And she put it in the drawer and she went like this and looked at me.

[Kalila]

Eat it later. You save it for later?

[Esther]

Maybe. Depends.

[Jenna]

Sometimes last week I found. I don't know when it was from, but she says that it was from that morning, maybe overnight oats that had maybe been there overnight. I opened up her drawer, and I smell, like, strawberry and stuff residue. And I was like, esther, what is this? And she's like, it's my overnight oats. And I was like, from when she goes just today.

[Esther]

I don't know. It's like, I don't want to look at the food when I'm done. You know, I'm like a guy.

[Jenna]

Like, after I, like, so have a garbage can.

[Esther]

I would have to get up.

[Jenna]

No, you could put one right next to your bed.

[Esther]

You know, after you, like, get off, you're like, get out of here. That's how I'm doing my food.

[Jaime]

No, I'm just like, stay.

[Jenna]

Yeah, that's. Thank you. That's a green flag.

[Kalila]

That's a red flag. Jaime has talked about pillow talk before.

[Jaime]

Yeah.

[Jenna]

Thank God you're not a dude, dude.

[Kalila]

Oh, my God, Esther, if you were.

[Esther]

A dude, my parents would raise the most toxic dude. This is, like, my new thing. My dad, they're. They're both so toxic in their own way that a man in this world raised by them would be really bad things. Like, if you don't want to say.

[Jenna]

What as a man and I did anything that you do, oh, my God. It would just be over.

[Kalila]

I'd be pretty terrible, too, though.

[Esther]

I don't know.

[Jenna]

I don't know. I don't know. But you know what? Let me just say this. Maybe we are only the way that we are because we're women. So we're only asking for the things we're asking for because we're not getting them, because the whole world is belittling us and, like, oppressing us. So maybe we would actually be pretty good men.

[Kalila]

Oh, wait, I take that back. You're right. I think I would have been a good guy because just my. My mom and my dad. My dad was really cool.

[Esther]

And also, I feel like you're raising a good son.

[Kalila]

I hope so.

[Esther]

I feel like.

[Jenna]

Oh, my God.

[Esther]

No, you have zero, like, creepy boy mom red flags.

[Jenna]

Yeah.

[Esther]

Which is, like, I don't know how.

[Jenna]

Amazing calm and cool his dad is.

[Kalila]

Cool. So it's like, even if I get it all wrong, you're a good boy.

[Esther]

Mom inspiration for me.

[Kalila]

Oh, thank you. Yeah, I like that.

[Esther]

Because you're like. I don't know. You're just very grounded.

[Jenna]

Wait, a what? What'd you say?

[Esther]

Boy mom inspiration? Like, she's not, like, weird.

[Jenna]

Yeah.

[Esther]

No one. They're weird.

[Jenna]

And aloha. The way he treats you, that's, like, the biggest factor that I think is going to Lead into how your BB is.

[Kalila]

I think so. I think that is the biggest. Because boys watch their dad after a certain age, and how he treats the women in his life will be directly attributed to how he sees his dad treat women. And thankfully, like, it sometimes hurts me because Aloha doesn't know how to talk. Sometimes I just want to have a good talking session where I'm just, like, going off about people. And then I tell him. I tell him, and I'm like, okay, now your turn. He has nothing to say.

[Jenna]

Wait, this used to happen to us.

[Kalila]

It used to piss me. It, like, oh, yeah. It pisses me the off because I'm like, jenna, I need you to, like.

[Jenna]

Pile on, at least just not hear what I'm saying. I'm like, but I don't know the person. And so she'll defend them.

[Esther]

And Dave will always turn around against me. But, like, it sounds like you're in the wrong. I don't know what else to say. Like, And Jenna's just like, huh, I need to really think about that. I do. They're so annoying.

[Kalila]

Yeah. Aloha is similar in that, well, if I really need it, he's like, no, I hear you. Like, that really sucks. I've never heard him outwardly talk about anyone in his life.

[Esther]

Same with Dave. Is this all guys or is this, like, really?

[Kalila]

No, I. I met that the biggest talkers have been men.

[Jenna]

I look at them all nodding their heads. R will not say a word about anyone. Anyone that's bad. And I'm like, can you just tell me about, like, maybe there's something you didn't like about an ex girl that you dated? And he's like, oh, yeah, there were definitely moments that didn't work out. But I'm like, that's all you got. He won't talk about anyone. And if.

[Kalila]

Talk about your ex office.

[Jaime]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

To who, though?

[Jaime]

To the guys? No, I'm scared.

[Jenna]

No, he won't even talk to the guys.

[Esther]

Will never say anything bad about his exes. But I'll just be there, like, dissecting, being like, well, what about this about her? He's like, I don't really. He's like, I liked her. Like, he's.

[Kalila]

Isn't it painful?

[Esther]

Yeah. I'm like, no, but she's the witch.

[Jenna]

Like, because the.

[Kalila]

The alternative is a red flag, which is if he talks shitty about his ex, I'm like, okay, you're. You're the bad guy. But then also when they don't talk and they're just like, no, she was great and she was gorgeous and she was a good person. It just didn't work out. I'm like, great and gorgeous. What do you mean, great and gorgeous?

[Jenna]

That's the type of. That wakes me up at night. I just. I just.

[Kalila]

Gorgeous.

[Jenna]

I just hear, like, great and gorgeous. Great and gorgeous. And then that. Honestly, then that word will be a trigger word for me where, like, anytime I hear great or gorgeous, I'm like, oh, my God, you need emdr.

[Kalila]

You know what I say that's so underhanded and mean and so toxic. It's like, this is what I. I've said one time, and he didn't understand what I was saying. I was just like, I just don't get how you could date someone like her but then be attracted to me. And by that I mean, like, ew. Like, how could you like that? Am I in the same. Am I on the same level? I'm like, how could you have ever like that? But then also like someone like me?

[Jenna]

And then what is he saying?

[Kalila]

And then he's just like, like, she was great and she's going, no, it's great.

[Esther]

If it didn't work out, why are you toe fingering her?

[Jenna]

Cuz that's how I do. Oh, man. But you know what had her toe. I know, I know. It's like tofu.

[Kalila]

She toggled my. Is what Esther said.

[Esther]

That's what Jester said.

[Jenna]

Jester?

[Esther]

That's your Jester?

[Kalila]

You toggled my pussy. You toggled.

[Esther]

Do not start calling me Jester.

[Jenna]

I used to call you Fester.

[Esther]

I know. I hate that more.

[Kalila]

I love Fester Adams.

[Jenna]

Are you kidding me?

[Esther]

Fester, we can't do this.

[Jenna]

Your name sucks.

[Kalila]

Can we? Can someone do.

[Esther]

What's the alternative?

[Jenna]

Just calling you Esther? That's also bad.

[Kalila]

No, Fester is good. Fester Adams. Someone make artwork.

[Esther]

I'll frame it.

[Jaime]

Please.

[Esther]

I don't deserve this.

[Jenna]

You don't, cuz it's too good.

[Esther]

Wait.

[Jaime]

I hate my name.

[Kalila]

Why do you hate your name? Name Jaime is so cool.

[Jenna]

You know my cousin's name is Jaime.

[Kalila]

Don't be my virginity too. It's Jaime.

[Jaime]

Well, a lot of people call me hindman.

[Kalila]

Oh, that's stupid.

[Jaime]

I'm getting tired. I'm not a vagina.

[Jenna]

But you know what a hymen is.

[Jaime]

I know what it is. Pretty dope, isn't?

[Jenna]

Yeah, that's part of, like, side of A. It's not even the block. And honestly can break while you're doing anything. Riding a horse.

[Kalila]

I broke Mine running into a wall on a bicycle, I think.

[Jaime]

But you know how many times I have to explain to a woman what my name, my name means?

[Kalila]

That's so stupid. Not in la, you know, so common.

[Esther]

I thought it was Jamie, I'll admit.

[Jaime]

That's why I'll just go by Jamie now.

[Kalila]

Okay.

[Jenna]

Off. Your mom did not look at the name.

[Kalila]

Your mom did not give you that name. Your parents said Jaime. Your dad said, hi, man. Your name is Jaime? Yeah, but it's a beautiful name.

[Jenna]

Are you Mexican?

[Jaime]

Yeah. Are you Mexican?

[Jenna]

Yeah.

[Jaime]

What. What type?

[Jenna]

Well, if you want to get into it, I'm actually indigenous, and I just found out which tribe two weeks ago, and it is my whole new personality, but I haven't told y' all about it. Otomi. That is my new life. That is the tribe that came up on my 23andMe. And my dad was always like, yeah, miha. Like, we're indigenous. We were the first ones there. And I'm like, okay, okay. Like, I believe you, but. But everyone probably thinks they were the first one there. And he's like, no, if you have this marking on your back that, like, apparently all of them have.

[Kalila]

That's so cool.

[Jenna]

He's like, that's like a marking on your back. Yeah, just my birthmark. That's, like a specific shape. And, like, my brother has it, my dad has it.

[Esther]

Are you serious?

[Jenna]

Yeah. Again, I was like, I need proof. So I did 23andMe, and it said that I was Native American. And then you look at it, it's like 38%. You look at it, and it says exactly where my dad is from.

[Kalila]

That's so cool.

[Jenna]

How crazy is that? And now, only as of two weeks ago, they've updated. We know what tribe you were a part of. Otomi. So then I cross referenced and I looked. Where was the Otomi tribe a part of? And you can look on the map. It's where my dad was from, and they were the first people there. So I'm Mexican. I'm Otomi. Do you know what you are?

[Jaime]

Yeah.

[Esther]

What?

[Jaime]

A Mexican American.

[Kalila]

Where's your family from?

[Jaime]

Yeah, they're from Mexico.

[Jenna]

San Luis Potosi.

[Jaime]

Yeah.

[Esther]

Look at how well they're hitting it off. They already have their own little language.

[Jaime]

Language.

[Jenna]

San Luis Potosi.

[Kalila]

Okay.

[Jaime]

Embarrassment in Spanish.

[Jenna]

Okay.

[Kalila]

Say embarrassment in Spanish. Yeah.

[Jaime]

No, that's not it. That's pregnant.

[Jenna]

I've never said that in my life. Okay, okay.

[Kalila]

All right.

[Esther]

That's what I learned to say at Johnny Rockets.

[Jenna]

Okay, you're fluent?

[Kalila]

Yeah. Basically that's all. That's the only sentence you'll ever need to know.

[Jenna]

Yeah, truly. But I would never say. The way that Google translates I be saying thing. It's like. I would never say that. I would just say, like.

[Esther]

Do you have any other questions for Jenna?

[Jaime]

Yeah, I think what attracts me to you is.

[Jenna]

That's not a question, but I'll take it.

[Jaime]

Green light. I mean, green flag.

[Jenna]

Listen, Women watching. Women watching. This is a green light.

[Esther]

Okay?

[Jenna]

The way that he just came in, he said, hi, guy. This is my name here. Which is my camera. This. These are my flowers for you. He sat down. He was confident. He's being chill, right? Like he's thirsty. You can tell. But he's chill. But he's chill.

[Esther]

What else do you want to say or ask or let her know about you?

[Jenna]

What did you say? The way you're attracted. What'd you say?

[Jaime]

Oh, me.

[Jenna]

What did you say? Can you say what attracts.

[Kalila]

You said, what attracts me to you.

[Jaime]

What attracts me to you is. You look like. What's her name? Wonder Woman.

[Jenna]

If you say Gal Gadot. Yeah, everyone says that. And I know.

[Jaime]

Don't.

[Jenna]

I don't see it. Literally everyone says I'm Gal Gadot.

[Esther]

And I'm like, that's crazy. You. Yeah, you look like.

[Kalila]

I. I see it. I also think you look like a girl from the Shia LaBeouf.

[Jenna]

That girl who. Everyone thinks that I look like her.

[Jaime]

Which movie?

[Kalila]

Gorgeous.

[Jaime]

Oh, my God, even Stevens.

[Jenna]

No, it's a. Do you remember the billboard where everyone thought it was me, her name is like Shane or something thing. But I actually see what people see in that because she's just like kind of messy. That girl, Sasha Lane. What is her name?

[Esther]

She's pretty.

[Kalila]

She's so pretty.

[Jaime]

She's great and gorgeous.

[Jenna]

Everyone was like, it was that you on the billboard.

[Jaime]

You do have a tattoo in the background.

[Jenna]

She looks so much like you want.

[Esther]

Her to know about you or ask.

[Jaime]

You asked me. What did you ask me right now? What is she my type?

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Jaime]

Yeah, she's my type. If she was 10 years younger, it has be to kidding.

[Jenna]

You have a type. That's not good. That's a red flag.

[Jaime]

I'm just being dumb.

[Jenna]

Okay. No, what do you like about.

[Esther]

What else do you like about Jenna?

[Jenna]

This is.

[Jaime]

She's pretty.

[Jenna]

Like Esther is enjoying this more than you said.

[Kalila]

She's pretty laid back. Yeah, you would be wrong.

[Jaime]

Oh, yeah.

[Esther]

I feel like both of you, though, come off as laid back, but are not.

[Kalila]

Are not.

[Jenna]

But I get it also Depends the scenario.

[Kalila]

I think what you're saying is we look sloppy, but we're actually.

[Jenna]

We don't wear bras, we hold tires, pants and look sloppy. Because I would say that like, I'm very laid back about a lot of things when it doesn't have to do with me.

[Esther]

Like, like, well, that's easy.

[Jenna]

It's like I'm. I'm laid back about if plans change, if I have to do something for someone.

[Esther]

Wait, why did you say you. Oh, she owes you a coke.

[Jaime]

Oh, cuz she. We said like at the same time.

[Jenna]

Oh, jinx.

[Jaime]

Can't talk.

[Kalila]

Cute. Wow.

[Jaime]

Oh, you know what's a highlight? I. I'm gaining more confidence.

[Jenna]

You're gay. That's a green flag.

[Jaime]

No, I'm not gay.

[Jenna]

Okay.

[Jaime]

The things I do are gay, but I still like gross. But I'm gaining more confidence.

[Kalila]

You really are though.

[Jenna]

How do you like that I have confidence, huh? I bet that's what you like about me is my confidence.

[Jaime]

Yeah.

[Esther]

This has never felt more like a fourth grade.

[Kalila]

I also, also don't think that guys necessarily love confidence. They always go for like the scared little mouse.

[Esther]

Yeah, you sound dumb as hell.

[Jenna]

I would say that.

[Esther]

I bet you like what you like about me is that I'm confident. Right?

[Kalila]

Right, Right.

[Jaime]

Yeah.

[Jenna]

A confident guy likes a confident woman. The men y' all are with don't like you because you're mousy and they like you because you are confident. So eat that.

[Kalila]

That's true.

[Jenna]

Little boy dudes. Little, they like little mousy ass women because they want you to be so that they have some confidence. Confident man likes confident woman.

[Kalila]

Some very smart man on tick tock was like, you know the term boy? It's like, yeah, it kind of makes sense and it applies when a dude is like in his 20s, but like after you're 30, you're no longer a boy. He's like, you're just a loser. It's like, what a loser. Like what loser ass behavior is that when you're in your 30s and still behaving? Yeah. Literally a nothing.

[Jenna]

Just a little.

[Esther]

We have bananas.

[Kalila]

We have bananas coming in.

[Jaime]

You know what I do now, like when I haven't been doing it when I knew meet new people. When they come to green rooms or just anywhere where, where I'm in the couch, I always stand up now and shake their hand.

[Esther]

Wow, that's very gentlemanly.

[Jaime]

Yeah. In the green rooms especially because, you.

[Esther]

Know, you know, I really respect that. I feel like what I like to do is whenever I'm around new people, and I don't always do it, but this is just when I'm thinking and when I'm present is like, there's someone in the room. I don't know. Walk up to them. Hi, I'm Esther. Like, it seems before you think of doing it, you're like, how would I ever interact and engage with a new person? And then once you just are like, I'm Esther, and you just say your name, it's like, yeah, you gotta do it now. You're, like, welcoming and you're confident, and so I think that's amazing.

[Jenna]

Yeah. And even if it's awkward, it doesn't matter.

[Kalila]

That's a really great hack that I. Because I'm really anxious everywhere. Right. But when I learned to introduce myself very early on, as opposed to, like, waiting around to see if someone will, like.

[Jenna]

Yeah, it's hard.

[Kalila]

It kind of. It took away a lot of, like, my nerves where it's like, okay, I. I did what I did, and the rest is. The rest.

[Esther]

They don't have to like it, or it's like, whatever. But you just.

[Jenna]

Now, I don't want them to like it now.

[Esther]

You were like a gentleman.

[Jenna]

Yeah.

[Esther]

You did your part in this social. Let's see if this experiment that we call life.

[Jenna]

If you're a green flag or red flag, will you take my pieces and put them somewhere? Green flag. Oh, you don't have to put them. That's a red flag. You can just put them on the table.

[Esther]

Because then when she's doing your laundry, when you guys are married, she's going to be having to dig through your pockets for garbage.

[Jaime]

We're hoping you guys could help with.

[Kalila]

Like, a little date simulation here and.

[Jaime]

Coach Jaime through, like, a pickup up and a dinner.

[Jenna]

Oh, we're going to coach you through a date here.

[Kalila]

We're not.

[Jenna]

Dude, you're going to get.

[Esther]

You're not doing any coaching.

[Kalila]

You're. You're just.

[Esther]

You're on the There.

[Kalila]

You're being pursued.

[Jaime]

You're the victim.

[Kalila]

Where are we?

[Jenna]

Hang on.

[Kalila]

Is he hitting on her for the first time or they're going on a date?

[Jaime]

We could start with the pickup line first.

[Jenna]

Yeah. Like, so you've already asked this person out on a date?

[Esther]

No. No. What. What's your pickup line?

[Kalila]

I'm hiring my Garcia.

[Jenna]

And be genuine. Be genuine.

[Jaime]

I don't. So when I do pick up lines.

[Kalila]

You're dancing at a club. That's great. He goes to clubs is why.

[Jaime]

Yeah, I'm not going to that? No. No. I don't know, because I've been thinking about this. Like, I don't really have pickup lines because I'm always trying to be funny and it never works, but that's funny.

[Kalila]

So you're on your way to pick Jenna up for your date, right? What car are you picking her up in?

[Jaime]

My car.

[Kalila]

Okay. Okay.

[Jaime]

2016 for escape.

[Jenna]

Love it, Love it. Yeah, it's great.

[Jaime]

I might need to get. Get it detailed.

[Kalila]

But what about if you live on the west side? She lives the opposite way, and the restaurant is also the opposite way.

[Jaime]

Like, on my side.

[Jenna]

Like, let's say you live on the west side.

[Kalila]

It's like rush hour traffic. Rush hour LA traffic. Oh, you picking her up?

[Jaime]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

Okay, green flag. What restaurant are you taking her to?

[Jaime]

What restaurant would you like to go?

[Jenna]

Thank you. I was just gonna say. Oh, you better ask.

[Kalila]

Ask.

[Jenna]

But you're still gonna plan, so maybe you have some options now.

[Kalila]

Tell them your food restrictions.

[Jenna]

I say, hey.

[Esther]

Yeah, Stop saying, I say be in it.

[Jenna]

Let's do.

[Kalila]

Let's act.

[Jenna]

Like if the director just walked in.

[Kalila]

Go.

[Esther]

We're not here.

[Kalila]

Okay.

[Jenna]

Hey. So I have some dietary restrictions, though. That can be really super annoying.

[Jaime]

But I also need a banana. My bad.

[Kalila]

Bad.

[Jenna]

If it's a problem. And that's.

[Jaime]

No, it's annoying.

[Jenna]

I understand why it would be annoying.

[Jaime]

No, it's fine. What's your diet?

[Jenna]

It's not a diet. I have allergies.

[Jaime]

What is your allergies?

[Jenna]

It's actual allergies, like EpiPen. It's real allergies.

[Jaime]

Oh. What do you have?

[Jenna]

I'm allergic to apples, carrots, peaches, plums, jackfruit. Apples I can have when they're cooked, but I can't have them when they're raw. Carrots. I can have them when they're cooking. Cooked, but not when they're raw because they change molecular structure.

[Jaime]

Okay.

[Jenna]

Yeah. Are you writing? I know it's a lot. Do you want me to just send you a text of all the allergies?

[Jaime]

No, no. Can you eat seafood?

[Jenna]

I love seafood.

[Jaime]

You like steak?

[Jenna]

I can't eat steak.

[Jaime]

Okay, what's. What's another.

[Jenna]

Well, you said seafood and then you said steak. They're two different things.

[Jaime]

Surf and turf.

[Jenna]

Huh?

[Jaime]

Surf and turf. I don't know what that is.

[Jenna]

I don't know what that is.

[Jaime]

I think it's like steak and shrimp.

[Jenna]

Hold on.

[Jaime]

No, no, no. Don't call your ex.

[Jenna]

So then I would put that on mute, and I would be like Esther Kalila. Like, he's. He just.

[Esther]

No, no, we're not here. Stop it.

[Jenna]

Oh, so now you're not here.

[Jaime]

Hey, what's up? I lost you there for a minute.

[Jenna]

No, that was my mom.

[Jaime]

Oh, okay. How is she doing?

[Jenna]

She's okay. So, yeah, I don't know what surf and turf is, but I. I like seafood. So maybe if we can do something with that, I can give you the options that I can eat and then you can find the place, because I'm not.

[Jaime]

Hey, listen, baby, look.

[Jenna]

Oh, listen, I don't like that. No, no, I don't like that you just called me baby. Like, we're not like.

[Jaime]

Listen, maybe.

[Kalila]

Oh.

[Jenna]

Oh, you have a speech impediment. That's so cute. I love a speech impediment.

[Jaime]

So, listen, maybe we can. Maybe we can get some options going on and we can choose whatever. Which. Whatever you're into.

[Esther]

Come up with some options.

[Jenna]

Yeah, bro, I just told you what I can eat, what I'm into.

[Kalila]

Help him out about Connie and Ted's, maybe.

[Jaime]

Oh, yeah. I don't know any reference in that league.

[Esther]

Ask her if she wants to go to Connie and Ted's.

[Jenna]

You're not here.

[Esther]

Stay in it. He needs help.

[Jenna]

I needed help. Stay.

[Kalila]

Loretta. Loretta.

[Jenna]

Oh, this is.

[Jaime]

You want sushi? No. You like sushi?

[Jenna]

Yeah, I like sushi.

[Kalila]

Or sugar fish.

[Jaime]

Sugar fish?

[Kalila]

Excuse me?

[Jaime]

Oh, it's okay.

[Jenna]

I love sugar fish.

[Jaime]

Sugar fish. I can make a reservation for two.

[Jenna]

Sugar fish. Works for me because I don't take reservations.

[Kalila]

Yeah, you just. How about we do takeout and, like, I'll go to a park or something.

[Jaime]

Oh, we can. We. So listen, we can take it up. Are you doing something? I hear Rush? Rush.

[Kalila]

Wrestling.

[Jenna]

You're trying to say wrestling, not wrestling. Is it your speech impediment? Because I love it.

[Jaime]

Yeah, we can get sugarfish and then taken out and go to the park or something.

[Jenna]

No, restaurant. Okay, so how is that gonna work?

[Esther]

Okay, fast forward.

[Kalila]

We're at the restaurant.

[Esther]

Have you ever been to Sugarfish?

[Kalila]

This is bad sushi. It's very plain rice. It's nice. It's like.

[Jaime]

Okay.

[Esther]

Hello, welcome to Sugarfish. Hi, my name is Lisa.

[Kalila]

Backup server, Kila.

[Esther]

She's. I'm training her, so she'll be following around.

[Jenna]

Did you say Malaysia?

[Kalila]

Malaysia?

[Jaime]

Yes, Malaysia.

[Esther]

I'm training her. She's my. Okay.

[Jenna]

You're doing a great job.

[Kalila]

Thank you so much.

[Esther]

Are you. Is this a first date?

[Jaime]

Be here for an hour.

[Jenna]

Have you guys been rude? Don't like that.

[Esther]

Have you guys been Here before. Are you first timers?

[Jaime]

I'm a first timer.

[Jenna]

I've been here before. A couple red flags there. I'm going to say the red flag of with who and the red. Red flag of like, not being super kind to the.

[Kalila]

I don't think that's a red flag. That's so funny what you just did. If some guy said with who in that way, but if he was so.

[Jenna]

Hard, but if he was serious, then.

[Kalila]

I'm like, sorry, sorry, sorry.

[Esther]

Step back. You're right.

[Jenna]

Oh, I don't like how there'd be double stanzers.

[Esther]

Okay, so, okay, you've been here before. Any questions about the menu? Would you. Who will be. Will you be ordering for everyone or.

[Kalila]

I'm already laughing. Sorry.

[Esther]

You know, h. Like hates sushi.

[Jenna]

He does. That's a red flag.

[Jaime]

No.

[Kalila]

Okay, let's take. Okay, go.

[Esther]

What can I get.

[Jenna]

Can't tell me what a red flag is or not.

[Jaime]

It's not a red flag.

[Esther]

What can I get you?

[Kalila]

Can I get you what?

[Jaime]

Hello, Can I get two California? Well, you want California rolls?

[Jenna]

I'll order for myself, thank you.

[Jaime]

Okay.

[Kalila]

California.

[Jaime]

Oh, no. What you like.

[Esther]

They don't have California rolls.

[Kalila]

They don't.

[Esther]

Do you want, like, a crab roll?

[Jaime]

Can you get my friend.

[Kalila]

I'll give you. Here's yellow tail albacore.

[Jaime]

You like yellow?

[Esther]

You know, it seems like the. The lady is ready to order first. Would you like to order?

[Jenna]

Yeah, sure. I'll just order first, then you can have time to think about it.

[Esther]

Okay.

[Jenna]

Okay, I'm going to order the yellow. Whatever it's called. You take me. I take you.

[Esther]

The Trust Me.

[Kalila]

Yes.

[Esther]

That's our most popular.

[Jenna]

I would like the Trust me. I would like light or regular.

[Esther]

Are you skinny or fat? Okay, you're fat, fat, fat.

[Jenna]

I'll take the double regular.

[Jaime]

Okay.

[Jenna]

Of the Trust me.

[Esther]

Can you afford this?

[Jaime]

Yeah.

[Esther]

Okay.

[Jenna]

And instead of the crab, because I know that you can substitute with the crab, I'll substitute yellow tail. We will allow that is the substitution that is allowed?

[Esther]

Yes.

[Jenna]

No, not just this time. I know. Oh, wait, you're the waitress. I wouldn't talk. Oh, I get that all the time.

[Esther]

Yeah, no, we got you.

[Jenna]

Okay.

[Esther]

Okay.

[Jaime]

I'll have the same.

[Esther]

You'll have the same?

[Jaime]

Yes.

[Jenna]

Okay. Can we have just some extra ginger and extra lemon on the side, please?

[Kalila]

Of course.

[Jaime]

Can I get a water with lemon?

[Esther]

Yes, yes.

[Jenna]

And I'll have a water with no ice, please. No.

[Esther]

Okay. Anything else to drink?

[Jaime]

Salad.

[Esther]

We don't have kale salad.

[Jenna]

Oh, yeah, no, thank you.

[Esther]

Any sake or.

[Jenna]

I don't drink. Thank you.

[Jaime]

I don't drink.

[Jenna]

He doesn't drink either.

[Esther]

Oh, wow.

[Jaime]

Yeah, a couple of old timers, you know.

[Esther]

Oh, you're a couple?

[Jaime]

Not yet, hopefully. You know, I'm wishing for it and praying for it, like, God, please. See, I got her flowers.

[Jenna]

That's funny.

[Kalila]

You know, Trini, we've actually brought you some Seasonal.

[Esther]

Wrong table.

[Kalila]

Idiot.

[Esther]

Sorry, sorry, sorry.

[Kalila]

Seasonal. And this one has apple and carrots and a couple nuts in it. And it compliments from the chef. We'd like you to try some.

[Jenna]

Thank you so much.

[Jaime]

Thank you so much. This what I do now?

[Jenna]

Now you're obviously going to eat it because I can't eat it. Acknowledge I'm allergic.

[Esther]

Remember what she. What she said was in it.

[Jaime]

I was not listening. I was looking at my beautiful date.

[Kalila]

Okay, here you go. Compliments from the chef. Apple nuts.

[Jaime]

Oh, I'll have it.

[Kalila]

Soy.

[Jaime]

Oh, okay.

[Kalila]

Okay.

[Jaime]

I'll eat it for you.

[Esther]

Why?

[Jaime]

Because she's allergic to apples.

[Esther]

He was listening. Kind of.

[Jaime]

I was distracted by your eyes, but I still listen.

[Kalila]

Okay.

[Esther]

Well, it looks like you guys, you loved your food. You ate it all. I'm surprised. Wow.

[Jaime]

Yeah, it was pretty good.

[Esther]

You didn't eat anything. Hardly. Are you.

[Kalila]

You.

[Esther]

Are you okay with what you got?

[Jaime]

I'm saving for later for midnight snacks when we're watching Netflix and chill.

[Kalila]

I will.

[Esther]

I have this HBO match here in my hand.

[Jaime]

Yes. Can we go? You coming home with me? Yeah.

[Jenna]

Split it.

[Jaime]

Yeah. No. You coming home with me? Okay. I'll take the whole chat.

[Jenna]

Okay. Couple red flags here. Here.

[Esther]

What did you say?

[Jenna]

You don't say Netflix and Chill and Real.

[Jaime]

I don't know. I don't.

[Kalila]

He knows.

[Jaime]

Say HBO Max. HBO Max is 34 right now. So you better enjoy this for the whole year. No, a month.

[Jenna]

Oh, my God.

[Jaime]

So you better enjoy this movie, whatever movie I put on.

[Jenna]

Okay.

[Jaime]

They just put weapons on. That's pretty cool.

[Esther]

Does any. Do you need parking validation?

[Jaime]

I'll take care of it.

[Esther]

Oh, you don't need parking validation.

[Kalila]

You're just gonna drive up.

[Esther]

You want to pay full price. Price to show off.

[Jaime]

Yeah.

[Jenna]

It's not attractive.

[Kalila]

I like it.

[Jaime]

There's a lot of parking, ventilation.

[Kalila]

One of the things that Bobby, Literally the best thing ever, especially in like, LA parking, whatever, is that he bypasses all valet, all parking. He gives the guy $100. Park my car in the very, very front so I can walk in, walk out. You don't have to do anything, but just park it in the closest spot. Spot.

[Jenna]

Okay, well, that's different than being like. You have validation. But I don't want to take it.

[Kalila]

Yeah, but I think that it really is.

[Jenna]

Oh, green flag.

[Jaime]

Oh, sorry. What are you drinking?

[Jenna]

Hojicha.

[Jaime]

Is that for your clinch? I'm just curious. I just been curious about everything.

[Jenna]

I love your curiosity.

[Esther]

Okay, we're in the car. We just got outside Jenna's place.

[Jaime]

Listen, I had a. I had a cool time. Time. Fun time with you. You're very cool hang.

[Jenna]

Thanks. Yeah, I had a great time too. I love sugarfish. Maybe we can go again.

[Jaime]

Yeah, I don't think so. I'm just playing. Yeah, we are getting laughs. And I really like hope we can go on a second date somewhere else. Not a movie theater day because, you know, we need to talk more about ourselves. So picnic in a park or. Or on the beach or Venice beach or something gay like that.

[Esther]

Okay, cut. Flash forward, too.

[Jenna]

I'm pregnant.

[Esther]

No, you guys are meeting the family. Oh, and Kalila and I are Jenna's mom and dad. You can be my dad.

[Kalila]

We already know I'm dad.

[Esther]

I'm Jenna's mom, and Kyla is Jenna's dad and she's introducing you to us.

[Jaime]

Okay. Okay, ready? So this is for your mom.

[Jenna]

Oh, she doesn't like flowers.

[Jaime]

Well, this is gonna like.

[Kalila]

Hello.

[Jaime]

Hi.

[Kalila]

Hi.

[Esther]

Hi.

[Jenna]

Hi, Poppy.

[Kalila]

Hi.

[Jenna]

This is my mommy. This is my puppy.

[Esther]

Oh, no, thank you.

[Jenna]

This is Jaime.

[Jaime]

Can I kill myself?

[Jenna]

Oh, my dad will take it.

[Kalila]

I'll take it. Thank you.

[Jaime]

Who's your dad? How you doing?

[Kalila]

Hola, sir. Beautiful Dolla Dolla. Beautiful Dolla.

[Jaime]

Beautiful daughter.

[Jenna]

You got a beautiful dog there.

[Jaime]

Beautiful daughter. It's my speech impediment.

[Esther]

Oh, Jaime, where are you from?

[Jaime]

I'm from Texas, but I just moved out here to California.

[Esther]

And what are your intentions with our daughter?

[Jenna]

My mom would never ask that. My dad.

[Esther]

I'm a different mom.

[Jenna]

Oh, okay.

[Esther]

I'm not playing your real mom. I'm. If I don't own my own character.

[Jenna]

I've been working on. Got it. I'm working on my character.

[Esther]

What are your intentions with my beautiful daughter Jenna?

[Jaime]

Daughter?

[Jenna]

Yeah.

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Jaime]

We've been seeing for each other for a couple months now, and I really like spending time with her. So, like, you know, have you guys had sex? Have you had sex? Have we had.

[Kalila]

Hold on. Look at. Look at the dad.

[Jaime]

No, I mean, we're adults. We are adults. Yeah. We have our time.

[Jenna]

Yeah, we're not there yet.

[Jaime]

Oh.

[Esther]

Do you see a future with her?

[Jaime]

Yeah, I can see a future with her.

[Esther]

What about. How do you feel about her being 10 years older than you?

[Jaime]

Ages, Age doesn't matter to me. Pretty sure know what I want now.

[Kalila]

You know, what do you. What do you do for a living?

[Jaime]

I'm a podcaster and a comedian. Stand up comedian.

[Kalila]

Does that get you benefits?

[Jaime]

Benefits?

[Kalila]

Like health insurance?

[Jaime]

I can get you backstage. Oh, health insurance. I can get health insurance.

[Esther]

You're a doctor backstage.

[Jaime]

Can I. I can get. I can get benefits.

[Esther]

Jaime, do want you. You want kids?

[Jaime]

Yeah, I can see, like, a little. Little Jenna, Jaime, like five or six of them running around.

[Kalila]

Wow.

[Jaime]

You know, little Jamies, you know, for you. For you guys. Grandkids. You want grandkids?

[Kalila]

I would love nothing more than five or six grandkids, truly. And that's, like, my real answer.

[Esther]

She wrote character.

[Kalila]

Like, that's all I wanted.

[Jaime]

How do you guys think Jaime did?

[Kalila]

I think I would give you, like, a. A C plus.

[Jenna]

A C plus, which is good because it's not bad. There were a lot of good things working, but there are, like, specific areas where you can maybe improve. I would say, overall, like, your energy is very good, and that's, like my number one. Like, if the energy ain't right, it's. There's nothing you could do to save yourself. Myself, I'm being Jenna now. There's nothing you could do. There's no money that could buy me anything. There's no time that you could take us somewhere. There's no trip. There's no words if your energy isn't right.

[Esther]

So you like his energy?

[Jenna]

Yeah. Your energy is good.

[Jaime]

Thank you.

[Jenna]

Seems like you're comfortable. You're open to suggestions. You're open to being corrected.

[Jaime]

I messed up.

[Jenna]

What?

[Kalila]

Are you good?

[Jenna]

Hyman?

[Jaime]

No, the gum in my hoodie. Now it's everywhere.

[Kalila]

Well, we told you.

[Jenna]

Why did you put the gum in your hoodie?

[Kalila]

Because you guys, like, snarled at him when he tried to put it on the table.

[Jenna]

I told him to put it on the table.

[Kalila]

Also, I know his hands are stuck inside. Oh, no.

[Esther]

I never told you.

[Jenna]

I never told you to not eat it. I just wanted. I thought it was dip. I never said don't eat it, so that you were assuming that I was saying not to eat gum. Instead of getting clarification, put it bare.

[Esther]

Naked in your pocket.

[Jaime]

I thought it was gonna be a ball, but okay.

[Jenna]

A. It's material, though, and that you need help.

[Kalila]

What's it really use?

[Jenna]

Ice. It gets it hard, and then you'll crack it off.

[Jaime]

You know, my roommate's mad at me right now.

[Kalila]

Who's mad at you?

[Jaime]

My roommate.

[Kalila]

Why?

[Jaime]

Because I love Karina. Yeah, she was at her mom's and I was taking off to la. She told me to take out the trash because I take out the trash. I was in a hurry, but I was in a hurry and I left it. So when she got back from like her weekend with her mom stunk, I was like. And I had like dinner, like Hot Pockets and. And I burnt waffles.

[Jenna]

Red flag.

[Jaime]

It was Eggo waffles.

[Kalila]

You and your Eggos.

[Esther]

Oh, you.

[Jaime]

You want to hear a debate?

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Jaime]

Tell me who's right or wrong. Because I asked Bobby and the guys and they're saying, oh, she's wrong.

[Jenna]

Maybe don't tell us who's who. Just tell us the different sides so we can give you a genuine answer.

[Jaime]

So my roommate, she was out doing.

[Kalila]

Okay, go ahead. Go ahead. Yeah, it's too much to ask.

[Jaime]

Okay, so it was Saturday. She. She goes out with her mom for lunch and stuff. Stuff. So she. She's out all day. I'm at home just watching tv. I cook frozen waffles. Right. Home style.

[Esther]

Okay.

[Jaime]

Waffles.

[Jenna]

Like you make them by hand? No. Oh, so you just. So you toast them?

[Jaime]

I toast frozen waffles that I cook. Oh, I toasted. Well, frozen waffles. Right. Eggos. Right. And that's all I ate. In the morning, she comes home for dinner, she's like, what did you eat for breakfast? And I said, oh, I had frozen waffles. And she's like, no, you didn't. You just had waffles. Don't say frozen waffles. Just say waffles. But I was like, they're frozen waffles. Right? Am I wrong?

[Jenna]

I mean, they weren't frozen when you ate them. And also I guess when I eat bread and it's in the freezer, I don't say I ate frozen bread. I just say I had bread because it defrosted.

[Jaime]

Yeah.

[Esther]

And you're saying she's right.

[Jenna]

No, I'm saying that I see both sides now. I thought that he was right at first, cuz I'm like, why would you.

[Jaime]

Say anything other than the pre frozen by toast them? But they're Eggos. Everybody knows they're frozen waffles. Right?

[Jenna]

Yeah, I think you're right. When it comes to waffles, it is different because there's like frozen waffles and there's freshly prepared waffles.

[Jaime]

So yeah, she's saying like, if I Woke up, made a batter, and then made. Made it from scratch. Waffles. But that's not true, right?

[Jenna]

Yeah. So she's saying, don't say frozen waffles. Why?

[Jaime]

Because it's not. They're not frozen.

[Jenna]

Well, obviously they're not frozen when you eat them. But they're for, like. There's a section at the grocery store called frozen foods. You don't eat when you eat them. They're not frozen, but they're frozen foods.

[Esther]

Well, she just has the ick for you.

[Kalila]

Yeah. You're doomed, dude.

[Jaime]

Right?

[Kalila]

That's like, such a thing. I would say on, like, a bad, like, luteal day where I'm just like, why can't you just say waffles?

[Jenna]

I would say.

[Jaime]

So who's right?

[Jenna]

Well, I'm very about accuracy, right. I like things to be accurate. And so I'm having trouble with this one because they are frozen foods. Okay?

[Esther]

Oh, my God.

[Jenna]

In the world.

[Esther]

No, in the world, people say frozen foods.

[Jenna]

However, the accuracy and very literal. When you eat them, they're not frozen. So I'm understanding.

[Esther]

Punch her in the face.

[Jaime]

Tofu her.

[Kalila]

I don't have the energy.

[Esther]

Finger her ass.

[Kalila]

Let me toggle your. You guys have little confetti bottles next.

[Jaime]

To you and champagne glasses.

[Esther]

I'm scared.

[Kalila]

I'm scared.

[Jenna]

Okay, what do I do?

[Jaime]

Pop it?

[Esther]

No. Yeah, this.

[Kalila]

Oh, this part I see now. There's a ridge there.

[Jaime]

Are you sure it's this side?

[Kalila]

No, it's this side. Jaime, hold it and then twist the top. This is the top.

[Esther]

Nine, eight.

[Jaime]

I love that.

[Jenna]

Seven, six, five, four, three, two, one.

[Esther]

Happy New Year.

[Kalila]

It came out the other side, so.

[Jenna]

You have to twist it this way, but hold it this way.

[Esther]

I broke mine. Happy New Year.

[Jaime]

You want to share a kiss?

[Jenna]

Good. Thank you.

[Esther]

Everybody kiss their crush.

[Jenna]

Esther, are you going to kiss me?

[Esther]

I have to choose between you, you pluggies. Thank you so much for another amazing year together. I cannot believe we did it again. Kila. We've. We've stuck. We've stuck it out.

[Kalila]

Stuck it out through thick and thin. This was a thick and thin year, and we stuck it out particularly thick.

[Esther]

We never know what life is going to throw at us with. With. Which is in any which way. But sluggies, we could not time it.

[Jaime]

You said you don't know what life's gonna throw at us.

[Esther]

We could not have done it without you. We love love you guys and we.

[Jenna]

Are wishing you a happy, healthy, hopeful new year.

[Esther]

Yes. To everyone. Goodbye.

[Jaime]

Have a lot of sex, Hook up.