MORE DARES! w/ Ian Fidance & Jenna Jimenez

Summary

Trash Tuesday Episode Summary: "MORE DARES! w/ Ian Fidance & Jenna Jimenez"

Podcast Information:

• Title: Trash Tuesday w/ Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn
• Hosts: Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn
• Guests: Ian Fidance & Jenna Jimenez
• Release Date: July 1, 2025

Episode Overview: In this lively episode of "Trash Tuesday," hosts Esther Povitsky and Khalyla Kuhn are joined by guests Ian Fidance and Jenna Jimenez. The episode is a blend of humor, personal anecdotes, and intimate discussions, steeped in the show's signature comedic style. The central theme revolves around dares, personal relationships, and navigating the complexities of sharing personal trauma in a comedic setting.

---

1. Opening Banter and Skits

The episode kicks off with playful banter between the hosts and guests, focusing on casual topics like fashion choices and everyday mishaps. This light-hearted exchange sets the tone for the episode's blend of humor and candid conversation.

• [00:00-00:37]
  Kalila: "This is pajamas I could get guys."
  Esther: "Well, wait, is that true or did you just not remember?"

2. Patreon Announcement and Promotions

Khalyla takes a moment to promote the show's Patreon page, offering fans exclusive content such as extended episodes and behind-the-scenes moments. She also teases an upcoming tour announcement, building anticipation among listeners.

• [01:00-02:38]
  Esther: "Shout out to our golden slugs, Brandon and Thomas. Hello slugs."
  Kalila: "We have extended episodes. We keep deleted scenes in the Patreon for our super fans."

3. Personal Stories and Relationship Dynamics

Jenna shares her recent experience with a new romantic interest, detailing the challenges of transitioning from casual interactions to exploring the potential for a monogamous relationship. The conversation delves into the difficulties of maintaining long-distance relationships and the emotional turmoil it can cause.

• [11:07-23:48]
  Jenna: "I met up last night to talk and then we're hanging out today, and I may get into a relationship after three years."
  Esther: "When are you in Chicago, man?"

4. Truth or Dare Segment

The group engages in a playful yet revealing game of truth or dare, leading to humorous and sometimes awkward moments. This segment showcases the chemistry between the hosts and guests, highlighting their ability to balance humor with personal disclosure.

• [36:32-57:00]
  Esther: "Let’s play truth or dare."
  Kalila: "Call the most famous person on her phone."

5. Sharing Deep Personal Trauma

A pivotal moment occurs when Khalyla opens up about a deeply personal and traumatic event involving her stepdad’s son, Roger. She recounts how Roger saved her life during a suicide attempt and the subsequent tragedy of his death. Khalyla expresses her pain and regret over previously discussing this sensitive topic in a flippant manner on the podcast.

• [31:38-72:11]
  Kalila: "My biggest regret is talking about my stepdad's son in a very flippant way... He saved my life when I tried to take my own."
  Esther: "I'm really glad you're starting to come forward with things that you've been feeling for a long time."

6. Group Support and Reflection

The hosts and guests offer heartfelt support to Khalyla, emphasizing the importance of understanding and empathy when dealing with personal trauma. Esther and Ian commend Khalyla for her courage in sharing her story and encourage her to practice self-compassion.

• [68:43-72:11]
  Esther: "I have something seriously to say to that... Don't hate on or judge yourself for the way that you flippantly said it."
  Ian: "There is literally nothing wrong. You are coping with something."

7. Final Skit and Closing Remarks

The episode concludes with more light-hearted dares and skits, including playful interactions and humorous exchanges. The group wraps up by promoting their respective projects and thanking listeners for their support.

• [75:07-78:35]
  Jenna: "I just cut hair in Rochester, New York... My YouTube stage where all my standup is going."
  Esther: "See you guys next week with a brand new episode. But wait, there's more."

---

Notable Quotes:

• Kalila on Patreon Content:
  "[02:38] Kalila: 'We keep deleted scenes in the Patreon for our super fans.'"

• Jenna on Relationship Challenges:
  "[12:32] Jenna: 'We only hung out for like a month... I may get into a relationship after three years.'"

• Khalyla on Personal Trauma:
  "[31:38] Kalila: 'My biggest regret is talking about my stepdad's son in a very flippant way... He saved my life when I tried to take my own.'"

• Esther on Supporting Khalyla:
  "[68:43] Esther: 'Don't hate on or judge yourself for the way that you flippantly said it.'"

• Kalila on Coping Mechanisms:
  "[71:19] Kalila: 'By the way, this is exactly what the counselor at that place thought. She's an unreliable source.'"

---

Key Themes and Insights:

1. Balancing Humor with Seriousness: The episode illustrates how individuals in comedic settings navigate the fine line between humor and sharing deeply personal, often traumatic experiences.

2. The Impact of Long-Distance Relationships: Through Jenna's narrative, the podcast explores the emotional complexities and challenges of maintaining romantic relationships across distances, highlighting the need for clear communication and shared goals.

3. Processing Trauma through Comedy: Khalyla's heartfelt story underscores the therapeutic role that humor and openness can play in coping with personal loss and trauma. The group's supportive response emphasizes the importance of empathy and understanding in such disclosures.

4. Navigating Public Perception: The discussion around personal stories reveals the tension between authentic self-expression and the audience's preconceived notions, especially in the age of the internet where personal narratives can be easily misconstrued or judged.

5. Community and Support Systems: The episode emphasizes the value of a supportive community, whether through podcast patrons or close-knit groups, in providing a safe space for sharing and healing.

---

Conclusion: This episode of "Trash Tuesday" delivers a compelling mix of humor, personal storytelling, and genuine emotional exchanges. By addressing both light-hearted and deeply personal topics, Esther, Khalyla, Ian, and Jenna demonstrate the multifaceted nature of human experiences, all while maintaining the show's signature comedic flair. Listeners are left with a sense of camaraderie and an appreciation for the show's ability to handle sensitive subjects with both humor and heartfelt support.

Transcript

[Kalila]

This is pajamas I could get guys.

[Esther]

Well, wait, is that true or did you just not remember?

[Kalila]

I think I remember.

[Esther]

Because I didn't remember either. And I.

[Ian]

And both of y' all stepped out your car and said, what are you wearing?

[Kalila]

No, because this could pass as what you normally wear every day.

[Ian]

True, true. You're right. Like when I went to the. When I went to the coffee shop this morning, no one flinched.

[Esther]

You wore that to the coffee shop?

[Ian]

Yeah. You think I'm gonna change when I get here?

[Kalila]

That is very Silver Lake flea market.

[Ian]

I walked up and they were like, same thing. 10 grams of vanilla. And I was like, yeah, I want that.

[Esther]

I want to all go out together wearing those.

[Ian]

We're not going out.

[Esther]

Shop the Skims ultimate bra collection and [e-mail] after you place your order, be sure to let them know that we sent you select podcast in the survey and be sure to select our show Trash Tuesday in the drop down menu that follows.

[Kalila]

Skims.

[Esther]

Shout out to our golden slugs, Brandon and Thomas. Hello slugs. The rumors are true. We have a Patreon. And this Patreon is giving, if I may say, if I may compliment myself and Kalila. So it's not totally self centered, but we have extended episodes. Okay. That's first and foremost. There are deleted scenes that we take out of the regular episodes, but we keep them in the Patreon. So if you're wanting more slug content, highly recommend signing up for those. For the extended cuts. I need to keep the. We've been doing the extended cuts the whole time we've had the Patreon. I just feel like I didn't really realize that we were. There are specific scenes that we delete cuz we go. We don't want these to be public, but we're like, you know what, they're safe for the people who are laying down a credit card who are willing to verify their identity, we'll let them in on this. We also have bonus content every week. I know last week we had a vlog me at the Comedy Store with Bobby. We usually have bonus episodes and we just share a lot more behind the scenes on the Patreon. I highly recommend it if you're a super fan. And also I wanted to announce that I will be announcing a tour very soon. So please keep your ears and eyes peeled because July 8th I'm announcing a big tour and it's been a long time since I've been on the road and I'm really excited for this tour. I'm excited to share the name, the artwork, and all the cities that I'm coming to. So see you guys then.

[Ian]

Daddy's in his pajama. Wait.

[Kalila]

So cute.

[Ian]

I don't know if you know that, but those are swim trunks, not pajamas.

[Jenna]

That's how I. I'm not. Would you expect me to put a little candle on a thing like that?

[Ian]

Yes.

[Esther]

Wait, you sleep in swim trunks?

[Jenna]

These aren't swim trunks. These are. These are. Shout out God's hate. These are.

[Ian]

Wait, let me.

[Jenna]

Pink tiger print.

[Ian]

Let me touch.

[Jenna]

Okay.

[Kalila]

They look like little. Like. Like basketball. Sh.

[Esther]

You guys are having.

[Ian]

This is not a good material for your penis sleep.

[Jenna]

And then if we're dating, I go naked and we. Cupcake. What's a hot dog? Cupcakes when you cuddle and hot dogs when I put my wiener in between your butt cheeks like a hot dog.

[Kalila]

And just leave it there. Soft.

[Jenna]

Well, it gets hard.

[Esther]

Wait, why is it.

[Ian]

No, I would love it if it were just soft.

[Jenna]

It's soft. And then I have to adjust the butt cheeks because it falls out. And then. And then usually I go, this is nothing personal, but I have to sleep. And then I turn over and I just keep my hand on your butt and I go to sleep. This isn't good. Pajamas.

[Kalila]

That's good.

[Jenna]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Jenna]

Can I say shout out? Cold World. Shout Out. Nick Woj, one of the toughest, best bands out there. He loves. He's a drummer. I've known him for years. He loves Trash Tuesday.

[Esther]

Really? Yes.

[Jenna]

And this is his band shirt. And we're talking. We're at a hardcore fest. And he goes, dude, dude, I'm a slug. And I go, I go, I go. I go. Me too, man. Sometimes I just can't get out of bed. No, no. I love Esther Kalila and Trash Tuesdays. I was like, oh, yeah, me too.

[Ian]

So funny.

[Kalila]

So cute. I love our male style.

[Esther]

I know. We're so lucky for that.

[Kalila]

Especially if they're hardcore like that.

[Jenna]

Yeah. So this is their shirt, and I said I'd wear it on the show. And it's a. Operation Ivy rip. But this is what I wear to bed. This is not okay.

[Ian]

No, it's great.

[Kalila]

I have a story for you guys.

[Esther]

What?

[Kalila]

This is Sleepover. We're getting, like, personal. Okay.

[Jenna]

Oh, boy.

[Kalila]

I want your opinion.

[Jenna]

Yes.

[Kalila]

I once had a friend name. I'm just gonna say her. I wouldn't send a friend named.

[Jenna]

Yes.

[Kalila]

Yes. A little bit of a head. But loved being around her because she was always the caboose to the party and would Take up. Take us to the top of Fun Mountain. I don't do drugs. But she was that girl who was just a resident head and she'd always, like, rally anyways, like Fun Mountain.

[Ian]

Look at her face. She's like, what the hell's the caboose?

[Kalila]

Caboose is just the dungeon. Do you know Fun Mountain?

[Esther]

No. What's Fun Mountain?

[Kalila]

Fun Mountain. End up at a strip club Buffett at nine in the morning, and you're like, where are we? That's Fun Mountain. Yeah. You're like, eating at a strip club. That's Fun Mountain.

[Jenna]

I love eating at a strip club. They have really good steaks.

[Esther]

I don't think they do.

[Jenna]

Yeah, every strip club I've gone to that has food, has great steaks. I don't know what it is. Maybe it's the, you know, juices, but it's really, really good.

[Kalila]

Okay, so she was friends with a guy that I was seeing.

[Jenna]

Can I just say, you were speaking in limericks.

[Kalila]

You're gonna get this.

[Jenna]

I once had a friend named.

[Esther]

Oh, no, she's doing poem poetry.

[Kalila]

Oh, this is a haiku. No, no, it's not. It's. It's. What do you call it? Spoken word. Oh, okay. It's called Fun Mountain.

[Esther]

And I just want to say that if you ever did a spoken word performance at a little coffee shop or a laundromat, I would go. I would go.

[Kalila]

I know you'd be there.

[Jenna]

I would love to watch you at the New Yorkan Cafe in New York.

[Kalila]

I'm going to make this really quick.

[Jenna]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

I always had a great time with her. She was best friends with a guy that I was dating. This guy did a criminal thing when we broke up. A criminal thing, which is he took another girl who was friends with Fun Mountain into my home and her in my home while I wasn't there.

[Jenna]

That's wild.

[Kalila]

Twice now. I got a phone call today from another friend. She was like, hey, guess who I ran into? I ran into Fun Mountain and we talked to blah, blah, blah, blah. And then all the memories of me hanging out with Fun Mountain were there.

[Ian]

It's all coming back. It's all coming.

[Kalila]

Do I still hang out with her knowing the betrayal?

[Jenna]

Does she know this happened?

[Kalila]

Yes. And I reached out to her when it happened, and I said, hey, like, what the.

[Esther]

Wait, what did she say when you confronted her?

[Kalila]

She never wrote me back when I.

[Esther]

Now she's reaching out.

[Kalila]

No, my friend ran into her and she was like, oh, how's Kalila? Like, nothing happened.

[Jenna]

Yeah. But what she supposed to do? Hey, Word and Erewhon, by the way, I was Fun Mountain and I fucked Kalila's ex.

[Kalila]

No, she. Her friend did. Her friend did.

[Jenna]

Fun Mountains did.

[Kalila]

Yeah. Anyways, but they were like, best friends. So this group of.

[Jenna]

Fun Mountain didn't do it.

[Kalila]

No, but she was best friends with the people that.

[Jenna]

Why are you upset with Fun Mountain?

[Ian]

Because Fun Mountain is the one who said, how's Kalila? Yeah, okay.

[Kalila]

But acted as if she wasn't in on the crime. She was in on the crime.

[Jenna]

How do you have nothing to do with it.

[Kalila]

Yes, she was.

[Jenna]

She was. You and your ex and some other.

[Kalila]

She was out with them. When she said bye bye, and ex went into my home and had sex. She knew about it. Okay.

[Ian]

What was she gonna do? Be like, oh, bring your. Actually, I would. I'd probably grab someone by the. And pull them out.

[Kalila]

Well, this is why I'm asking you. Do I go? Am I.

[Jenna]

That is a weird firefighter.

[Kalila]

You think it's okay that I don't forgive them? But I. I'm back. I am friends with her again.

[Jenna]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

I need to head back in my life.

[Jenna]

No, I mean, why is Fun Mountain guilty by association, judged by.

[Ian]

Because she didn't do anything to stop it is what she's.

[Esther]

But do you actually have interest in her?

[Kalila]

She was really fun, but she's not her brother, Esther, you know, the pretty thing.

[Ian]

Do you have any interest in having fun? Yeah, because that's the real question.

[Kalila]

You're right.

[Ian]

I have no interest in having fun. You're right.

[Kalila]

I don't want to have so much fun.

[Jenna]

What are you gonna. Are you gonna be doing and eating steaks at 9am you're right.

[Kalila]

That friendship's dead. Thank you.

[Esther]

But I think it's cool that she's just like, hey, how's Kalila? Because it's like four years later, everything. It's like, I. Who cares?

[Kalila]

Yeah, you're right.

[Esther]

You're just. Now you're just. The drama is wiped away. You're just a person.

[Jenna]

She did nothing. That's like being in the car. When someone goes into a house and commits murder, it's like, why do they get in trouble?

[Esther]

Well, sometimes, though, when you do get away, sometimes is something.

[Kalila]

If you say something.

[Jenna]

An accessory to a d. Crime.

[Kalila]

Huge accessory.

[Jenna]

I don't think she should be in trouble for that.

[Ian]

But how close were you with her?

[Kalila]

She was the person who would complain about her cheating boyfriend to me every week, and I would console. So I thought there would be some Level of mutual respect to be like, honk, honk, My friends are in your apartment.

[Esther]

But were you broken up?

[Kalila]

We were. Which is why there shouldn't be access to my place.

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Jenna]

Why do you do it in your place?

[Kalila]

Maybe some pain. I don't know.

[Jenna]

Marking his territory.

[Kalila]

I think it's marking. Maybe. Who knows? I think it was retaliatory. Who knows?

[Esther]

That's like, what? How Donut poops every night in our bathroom. She's just sort of letting us know it's her. It's her house.

[Kalila]

No, that's exactly what it is. It's kind of. It's a reminder, like, guess who's boss.

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

And I'm gonna. Where you sleep.

[Esther]

Yeah. I'm a victim of this every night.

[Ian]

It's like when you grab my tits in front of people. It's like, you don't want to do it in private, but you want to let people know she's mine.

[Kalila]

Forgiven then?

[Jenna]

Forgiven. Fun Mountain barely has anything to do with it. She's not your best friend. She's not. So she's not going to be like, yo, what the fuck? She's just there, probably on coke, probably wanting to go to another summit of Fun Mountain, and she's just like, get out of the car. We got places to go and people to blow. Like, it's like, what do. You. Can't get mad at Fun Mountain. She doesn't exist as a moral arbiter of justice. She's a cocore.

[Kalila]

Thank you.

[Ian]

But not in a bad way.

[Kalila]

No, no. We. She teaches yoga now, so.

[Jenna]

Of course she does.

[Esther]

Speaking of fun.

[Jenna]

Of course she does.

[Esther]

Ian, I saw you. Were you recently at Universal Studios?

[Jenna]

Yeah.

[Esther]

How was it?

[Jenna]

I'd never been.

[Esther]

Did you have fun?

[Jenna]

I turned into child mode. And I hugged Krusty the Clown and said, I'm a comedian, too.

[Esther]

Did you love the Simpsons Ride? That's my favorite ride.

[Jenna]

It was amazing.

[Ian]

We.

[Esther]

What else did you like?

[Ian]

Or you like a ride?

[Esther]

Oh, the Simpsons Ride. It's like you're the only. The screen moves.

[Kalila]

Oh, assimilation.

[Jenna]

I. To be honest, I really like the Minion ride.

[Esther]

Oh, is it scary?

[Jenna]

No, but you're in a seat. It, like, moves around. And there was a girl that I started seeing that week and I fell head over heels for, and she mentioned that she liked the Minion rides. And she was like, the Minions are quick cute. So I went to the kitchen.

[Ian]

That's the whole reason you.

[Jenna]

And I got her, like, 30 minion things that I stole. And when I picked her up, I had A minion strapped into the front seat. I got her a minion keychain. I got her a minion bucket hat. She only took the other minion and then thought I was joking with the other minion gifts. And I had to be like, yeah, jokes.

[Ian]

Oh my God.

[Esther]

Wait, so there's a new girl. What's going on with this girl?

[Jenna]

We met up last night to talk and then we're hanging out today and I may get into a relationship and I haven't been in one in four years. Three years.

[Esther]

Because last time you were here, you were in some sort of thing.

[Jenna]

Was I? Girl, I'm always in a thing.

[Ian]

But it wasn't like a serious thing.

[Jenna]

No, no, no, no, not at all.

[Ian]

Because you had told us about your serious thing from years ago.

[Esther]

Wait, you met up last night to talk? I love what is that.

[Jenna]

We only hung out for like a month. She lives in la. I live in New York.

[Ian]

So you're moving here?

[Esther]

Oh, my God.

[Jenna]

Well, I did go to Redondo beach yesterday and fell in love with it.

[Esther]

But that's really far.

[Jenna]

That is really far. You can't live. But I would get a car.

[Kalila]

You cannot live there. No, no, no.

[Jenna]

Why? But it's on the beach. 2900 for a two bedroom.

[Kalila]

No, no, no, no.

[Jenna]

Craig Connick said it was good.

[Ian]

You're being kind.

[Esther]

It's a really far drive from all the comedy clubs and all the podcasts.

[Ian]

And all the people.

[Kalila]

It's cute for two weeks and the drive seems like, oh, I'm seeing la, but no longer than that.

[Ian]

You know what? You'll know we can't feel it out to you until you move here and then you go, oh my God, what was I thinking?

[Kalila]

And proof. This is proof for you. I adore Long Beach. I want to move to Long Beach. I live there for a long time. No better place in LA area for me. But I cannot move there.

[Jenna]

I can't move to California yet. I'm going to save up. And that's the goal to move here within like a year or two.

[Esther]

And is this. Wait.

[Ian]

Oh, shit. Shake that as my. Let me see your hip swing.

[Esther]

Is this because of the girl or.

[Ian]

No, no, no, it's because of the Minions.

[Jenna]

No, it's because. It's because of the Minion ride. I'm close to the Minion ride. And also, did you know how easy it's it is to steal from Universal Studios? They steal from us. $400 for a fast, fast and parking and a day ticket. And you know, you can't tip the people. You go, oh, hey, here you go. Take the change. I go, no, sir, I. I can't. There's cameras. But if you go online and leave a comment, that's good enough. And I'm like, you are a slave.

[Kalila]

I know they did you. Have you ever stolen anything? What?

[Esther]

Your heart.

[Kalila]

I. I'm wondering because, like, all my friends have, and I've never stolen. Absolutely. I've never, ever stolen anything.

[Ian]

Wait, guys, we're living in late stage capitalism.

[Jenna]

Everything is crumbling. You might as well go out and get yours.

[Kalila]

People keep telling me, you think I didn't go into Macy's and steal. Steal Every single early 2000s. Jenna. Late 19, 1990s. It was baby fat. Rockaware Echo.

[Ian]

Baby fat.

[Kalila]

And the best part about it is.

[Ian]

I. I was trying to think of.

[Kalila]

Juicy was a little bit.

[Esther]

We lower the white shoes. Like, they're all white kind of.

[Jenna]

Yeah.

[Esther]

No, no. Vans with a C. Converse at knees. Keep going. No, this may be the one thing that we both.

[Kalila]

Because we were looking at the hot guy. Yeah, but I. We stole everything from everywhere as. As miners.

[Ian]

I stole nothing. My whole life. I literally stole nothing.

[Jenna]

Let's go out and steal.

[Ian]

Like, I thought it was so bad. And if I would accidentally leave someplace with something like a thing of bread that I'm like, oh, I thought you paid for. My mom was like, we're going. She would take me back inside.

[Jenna]

Aladdin.

[Esther]

And I know.

[Jenna]

Street Rack. Rip that Fasha in my bag.

[Esther]

K. Swiss.

[Kalila]

K. Swiss. Yeah.

[Esther]

Wow.

[Ian]

But, guys, this did change. When I turned like 35, it hit me very late and I was like, man, they are stealing. It didn't come. Cuz I was like, yeah, I want to do bad things. It came because I was like, such a huge corporation. They're stealing. And one time I walked out with a whole case of apple juice.

[Kalila]

You're Aladdin. Yeah.

[Jenna]

Yeah. You're just stealing food.

[Ian]

But what's crazy is that I paid for, like, most of it. I paid like $88. And then I was like, man, no, you got it so broke. I need some of this applesauce.

[Jenna]

You got to pay for, like, one thing. One for you, one for me, one for you.

[Esther]

Wait, I don't like this conversation on the podcast.

[Jenna]

You guys from the Hudson News at the airport steal.

[Esther]

If you.

[Kalila]

If you for.

[Jenna]

I got stuck in an airport for nine hours. You think? I'm not stealing Pepto Bismol. Listen, that's life saving medicine.

[Esther]

We do not support criminal activity on this podcast.

[Kalila]

I haven't stolen in a while. But when I did all of those.

[Esther]

Things, I encourage it.

[Kalila]

I would look at the.

[Jenna]

Just see, don't get caught.

[Kalila]

Did you see? I would look at the tags and everything. I was like, oh, I'm going to buy fubu. It was the most American thing. Like an image of American boy. Right. American teenager. And then I would look at the tag and it would say, made in the Philippines. I was like, oh, my Tita Lucy made this. This. I'm taking this. That was my justification. My people's hands made this.

[Ian]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

And now Macy's is selling it for whatever the they're selling it for.

[Jenna]

Not fair.

[Ian]

It was already yours.

[Kalila]

It was already mine.

[Ian]

No money.

[Kalila]

My tita's probably getting 2 cents for it.

[Ian]

I was so scared to steal anything.

[Jenna]

Not even stealing.

[Ian]

My mom was like, rammed it into my head that, like, you do not lie and you do not steal that. I didn't even think of it until.

[Kalila]

We were so broke. We got so much government cheese from Albertsons, my sister. I. You know, when the self checkout lines became were first a thing. Oh my God. Like you said, that was probably the.

[Ian]

Best time to steal cuz they hadn't figured it out yet.

[Kalila]

Broke college kids. We need food. We're hungry.

[Esther]

So you're in love.

[Jenna]

You're putting me on the spot. Well, we hung out and it was like so intense. And then I go back to New York. She visited. Dude, I had the best night. Me, her, and then two friends from Boston came down and stayed with me and we just hung out in my basement in the studio and just ripped cigarettes and like laughed and played heads up and it was so fun. But then she left and we were talking and not like, not talking like as much. And then she hit me and was like, I want to be monogamous. I don't think you can be. And I just want to be friends. And I was like, what the fuck, ladies? So I was like, okay, that's fine. I accept that. And then after a while, I was like pining for it.

[Ian]

I started feeling like she was having feelings for you.

[Jenna]

Well then she told me, she's like, dude, I thought I was like in love with you. And I was told you, like, I.

[Esther]

Cried for like, no dumb ass.

[Ian]

I don't think he knows that if.

[Esther]

Someone says, I want to be monogamous with you. If he doesn't know what that. Yes, he does.

[Jenna]

I. I can't just. I don't know how to date and then go into a relationship without being like, all right, why don't we fucking get married? What the hell's the problem? Like, what? So I told her last night. I go, look, she. We met up. She initially was like, I don't think it's healthy for me for us to meet up. And I was like, look, I. I understand that, but I gotta say how I feel. So then I picked her up and we drove, we went to canters, we hung out, and then we talked.

[Ian]

Did you get a tuna melt?

[Jenna]

Went to. No, I got eggs, sausage, potato pancakes, sorbet, matzo ball soup, I guess. And then I just laid it on the line and was like, look, like, if I'm going to be in a monogamous relationship, this is what I need. You need to come on the road with me, and I have to be around you. That I can't just see you once every two months and be like, let's just talk on the phone. That is not sustainable for me. And that's what I need. And if you can't match that, I understand, and I'll accept that. But this is what I need. This is what I want. Balls in your court, ladies.

[Esther]

And then what?

[Jenna]

Well, then she gave me some. That kind of pissed me off. She's like, I want to go upstairs and be together and blah, blah, but I just. I need to take things slow. I was like, what are you talking about? I've already had my fists up your ass. Like, how do you go slow from there?

[Kalila]

You can go slow from there. Yeah, because fists up your ass is just whatever. It's physical.

[Ian]

I mean, when you're driving a car, you can go 100 miles per hour and go, oh, I should slow down.

[Jenna]

She's not a car. She's a human. Yeah, you can drive her.

[Kalila]

You can reverse the fist backwards.

[Jenna]

But what's up with you?

[Kalila]

It's a lot of layers for her.

[Esther]

She's.

[Kalila]

She's glitching.

[Jenna]

I really like this on my couch. I have blankets on the couch. I cover in blankets at. My apartment is made of blanket.

[Ian]

Wait, so I should hide on a blanket?

[Jenna]

I don't know. She said there's a lot for me to digest. I need to think about it. And we're meeting up today, and I'm like, okay. And then we kissed and everything last night, and it was like, love it. Immediately off the rip. When I saw her, I was like, I don't know how to. Like, I. I asked just to be safe, like, is it okay if I'm touching you? And she's like, yeah, I think so. But she Was, like, touching me and like, he. Okay. Cute. And I was like, okay, am I allowed to be he. He. Cute. Cute. But I like her because I. I feel like I can be, like, very weird around her.

[Ian]

Good.

[Kalila]

That is.

[Jenna]

And we, like, communicate really well. Like, even, like, I do not feel comfortable doing this. Do this instead. And I'm like, yes.

[Ian]

Yeah, that's great.

[Jenna]

I don't know, like, when I really like someone, I just want to, like, hug them and put my head on their chest and be like, this is sufficient for me.

[Ian]

Yeah.

[Jenna]

You know, but it's like, I. I don't know. So I said how I felt, and she can say how she feels, and I'll accept whatever result she gives me. Me.

[Kalila]

Yeah, I think that. I think that the long distance thing is fair. I don't.

[Esther]

A fair, like, you mean as an.

[Ian]

Issue, like a fair boundary?

[Kalila]

No, it's a fair boundary because I got into long distance stuff before as, like, an avoidant. I. I would get into them knowing that there really wasn't, like, an end game that we could have fun in the mean, in the moment, and then, whatever. I had an out. Right?

[Jenna]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

But the person that I'm with now, it was long distance for what, like 10 months before we were like, but. But if there's no end goal to move together, there's no. I personally can't do it. Some people can. Yeah, I can't.

[Esther]

But is that. What's your issue? Is your issue just that, like, I don't want to be without someone, so I want to be able to do stuff with other people? Like, I would be in a long distance as long as it was open.

[Jenna]

No, because I'm tired of just like, well, I guess I'll just hang out with someone in Appleton.

[Kalila]

Well, that's what she's saying. Yeah.

[Jenna]

Huh.

[Kalila]

You know, like, you were like, oh, I want you to come on the road with me. Is it because you have a hard time, you know, not being with someone from Appleton while she's somewhere else?

[Jenna]

Yes.

[Kalila]

Okay. But also, that wasn't what you were saying.

[Jenna]

Well, no, I don't want to spend my time with some stranger in Appleton. I'd like to spend my time with her.

[Esther]

But you can't. So.

[Jenna]

Okay, I can spend my time alone.

[Esther]

Okay.

[Jenna]

In Appleton.

[Esther]

So then what's the issue?

[Jenna]

The issue is if I'm with someone, I want to be around them all the time. I don't want to be on the road alone going, I miss you. I wish I was there.

[Esther]

It feels like road. The issue versus like, because I'm.

[Jenna]

I travel every weekend.

[Ian]

What you're doing?

[Jenna]

Like, I'm. I'm on the road 47 weeks of the year.

[Esther]

So you need someone who's going to be on the road with you if you're going to be in a relationship with them.

[Jenna]

Well, yeah, because I can't.

[Esther]

It's also expensive to bring someone on the road.

[Jenna]

Well, she makes good money and I would take care of her.

[Esther]

Okay.

[Jenna]

Like, the way I see it is, it's. It's such a bad feeling being long distance. And you can even live with someone and be long distance when you're on the road because you get to leave again and then you get to go, oh, I miss you. And I wish you. I miss you too. And then it's like you feel guilty for working.

[Ian]

Oh, so you don't even want to, like, live with someone and be on the road?

[Jenna]

I could do that person. I could do long distance if they came on the road with me, like, once or twice a month or, like, in between weekends. I would come here or they would come to me.

[Kalila]

Oh, wait, Bobby's calling. Excuse me. My ex.

[Esther]

Speakerphone.

[Jenna]

Hello?

[Kalila]

Hi. You're on speaker, so careful.

[Jenna]

Who are you talking. Who's here?

[Kalila]

Esther, Ian, Finance. Jenna.

[Jenna]

Oh, you got that gay guy there.

[Ian]

Yeah, me.

[Jenna]

What's that? Weird dick.

[Ian]

I'm the gay guy.

[Jenna]

What do you mean? You have a cake pop dick, Dude.

[Kalila]

What is this dick? What is this?

[Jenna]

Your dick hides in the. In like a ground hall Starbucks. He's wrong.

[Kalila]

Like, skinny and then big. Up top.

[Jenna]

Yeah, it's purple.

[Kalila]

Oh.

[Jenna]

I have an aesthetically pleasing penis with a nice vein. Okay, that. You call that a vein? That's the whole penis. What are you talking about? Dude. Anyway, are you guys. Was that on camera?

[Kalila]

Yeah. Do you want me to just call you after we're done?

[Jenna]

No, I'm. I'm on set shooting a movie. But anyway, yeah, call me later. Thanks for letting us know.

[Esther]

Bob, are you feeling a type of way triggered after what Kalila said about long distance relationships needing to have an end game?

[Kalila]

That's just why you're not.

[Ian]

Oh, yeah, I'm in. Like, I'd be staying long distance.

[Jenna]

Really?

[Ian]

I love it.

[Jenna]

You have stuff in between. Right.

[Ian]

Are you a little open? We used to. Is this balls that you're. Ding, ding, dingling? Sure, we used to be. And now we're back to long distance. But we're exclude. We've been monogamous for, like, four years now.

[Jenna]

Oh, you guys are monogamous?

[Ian]

Yeah, but long Distance been nice.

[Jenna]

I think I have to go.

[Kalila]

Because.

[Jenna]

We'Re not clear in our end game.

[Ian]

I love the long distance. It's like, I. But I also love our time together. And I do think that, as far as an end game, there are many times when, like, we go, when are we gonna have time to just, like, just be us and live in the same house? And.

[Kalila]

Do you think that you would like that?

[Esther]

I asked her this, too, recently.

[Ian]

I mean, we went straight into living with each other, like, after the first two months, 12 years ago. And I. I loved it.

[Jenna]

Right?

[Ian]

And to me, that was such a green flag. I was like, I love this. He's so just simple, and, like, his energy is so wonderful that I loved having him around.

[Kalila]

I'm hearing this more and more, though.

[Esther]

What?

[Kalila]

I have friends in New York, two very successful professionals, and they've been married for. They've been together for 12 years, and they've never lived together. Not once.

[Jenna]

But I don't want to live with someone. I want someone to, like, live next door to me.

[Kalila]

Okay. Very Frida Kahlo. Right? Diego Rivera with a bridge. You want the house and then the bridge. Your lover's bridge. Yeah.

[Esther]

Well, look at Jay Moore and his wife, Jeannie Buss. They live in the same building, but in different levels.

[Kalila]

I get that.

[Jenna]

That's cool.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Ian]

No. I want to sleep with you every night, though.

[Jenna]

You can have sleepovers, but I also snore.

[Esther]

You also are the worst at sleeping, and I feel like you don't want to sleep with anyone.

[Ian]

I love sleeping with him, though. I feel like I.

[Esther]

Why don't you ever want to sleep with me?

[Kalila]

I don't. Wait, has she ever. Have you guys ever slept together?

[Esther]

It's been a long time.

[Jenna]

You guys are talking, like, been a while. Like, Z's.

[Kalila]

Wow. Is this a. I've slept with you a lot. Yeah, but I don't move.

[Esther]

Yes.

[Ian]

Yeah. She stays, and I stay with my thing, and I don't move. The only thing that bothers me about sleeping with you is your iPad. I can hear it all night.

[Esther]

What do you hear?

[Ian]

She keeps the TV down on her iPad. If we're traveling, iPad.

[Kalila]

And I watch my movie. Movies like the Crown. This close. On the lowest light and on with subtitles, so she doesn't hear me. And she still. It's still bothering me in a different bed.

[Ian]

When we were in Hawaii, like, four years ago.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Ian]

I was sleeping with Jules, and Kalila will be like, no, I'm watching. She falls asleep immediately, but I get it. You like it there? Because now I do that.

[Esther]

Where's the iPad?

[Kalila]

Something has to be playing in the background, or else I'm left with the demons in my mind.

[Esther]

Me too.

[Kalila]

That's not a good recipe for a good night's rest.

[Ian]

I sleep with my iPad now next to me, playing Ted Lasso every night. And sometimes I'll wake up and it's, like, paused. It's, like, stopped. I'm like, no. And I'll just press play again. So I get it. But, yeah, I love a pod. Sounds like what? I don't know. It just sounds like you would be on the whole time. You'd be, like, wondering how I'm sleeping and, like. And, like, wanting to know what my aura ring scores were while I was asleep and checking my heart rate and being like, tell me more. Or like, I'd be trying to go to sleep, and you'd be like, play with me.

[Esther]

Yeah, I do. When I used to have sleepovers, my best friend, she'd be like, okay, we're gonna play the quiet game, and whoever can be. Whoever can be quiet the longest wins.

[Ian]

Yeah. When I'm sleeping.

[Jenna]

That's such a disgruntled dad thing to do. We're gonna play the quiet game.

[Esther]

That's what my best friend in second grade would say.

[Ian]

When I'm sleeping with all of that, I fall asleep faster because he's there. If I wake up in the middle of the night, I just touch him and I'm like, I fall asleep faster.

[Kalila]

You're co Regulated.

[Jenna]

Whenever I sl. Sleep with someone that I really care about, I wake up in the middle of the night and go, are you all right? Are you here?

[Ian]

Oh, yeah. I check his breathing. I go like this and check his breathing. Like in the middle of the night.

[Jenna]

Yeah. It's psychotic.

[Kalila]

You guys, we have a topic on the board that I really want to talk about.

[Esther]

Yes.

[Kalila]

Which is.

[Ian]

Oh, excuse me.

[Kalila]

You see how he's telling her a secret? It came out of her mouth.

[Ian]

That's awesome. What?

[Esther]

This is not we.

[Ian]

What?

[Esther]

This is our podcast. We own whatever you're saying.

[Kalila]

Yeah, we own it. Trademark.

[Esther]

You have to tell us.

[Ian]

Oh, got it.

[Esther]

What are they saying?

[Kalila]

What? What?

[Ian]

He said he wants to eat that. Just.

[Jenna]

I did say I wanted to eat that. Who's Collectively.

[Kalila]

I think.

[Jenna]

Yes. Lay them down. Up. And I'm gonna lick from the bottom to the top.

[Kalila]

Oh, my God. So it's me.

[Jenna]

Yes.

[Kalila]

And then Jenna.

[Jenna]

Yes.

[Kalila]

And then little Esther.

[Jenna]

Yes. And then. I'll be honest, I'd pay a lot of attention to the lower tier. I'd pay a lot of attention to the bottom. And then I'd move up to the top. And then, Esther, respectfully, I would jump to Bobby.

[Esther]

Thank you.

[Ian]

Looking really scared when he was coming to your level. She was like.

[Jenna]

I could feel it. Yeah, yeah.

[Kalila]

We're.

[Esther]

We're like brothers.

[Jenna]

Yes, we're brothers. We are all brothers.

[Esther]

What did you guys whisper?

[Ian]

Should we play telephone?

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Esther]

Oh, okay.

[Kalila]

Wait.

[Jenna]

Telephone. She goes.

[Ian]

But she's not going to get.

[Jenna]

Switchboard goes around.

[Ian]

I knew that she was not going to want to get.

[Jenna]

Wait, wait, no, no. To go to them. So then it gets around.

[Ian]

See, I knew. Damn. You don't know how to whisper.

[Jenna]

Yeah. Really? That was a yell. What? I. You're in front of the kid. No, no, no. To the. To them.

[Esther]

No, that. This is too much off camera time.

[Kalila]

What? Say that again.

[Jenna]

Easy on the whisper.

[Kalila]

Oh, oh, okay. Got it.

[Ian]

I don't know how to whisper.

[Jenna]

No, it's crazy.

[Ian]

It's crazy.

[Esther]

Wait, did you lie or was it.

[Ian]

Hello? No, that was.

[Kalila]

Can I just say it?

[Ian]

Because I had. I was asking. Oh, my God. That was so loud.

[Jenna]

She's an eye doctor. It's crazy that that's how the telephone worked.

[Ian]

Hello?

[Esther]

That's not what I heard.

[Kalila]

Okay, wait.

[Esther]

What's the topic? Wait, wait. What were you going to say?

[Kalila]

I know. Me too. Well, when am I not? I want to talk about family lore.

[Ian]

I don't even know what lore means.

[Jenna]

Lore is like the legend, like the story.

[Kalila]

Things that have been told to you by your grandma, your mom, your dad that you believe to be truth. But maybe we should explore whether or not they've been telling us the truth, like, ever, technically.

[Ian]

Wait, okay, go again.

[Jenna]

First.

[Kalila]

Lore is like mythology, story that has been passed down from. I'm sure the Internet has Jenna lore. There's Kaleida Lord. Is Ian Lord as Esther Lore, for example, my dad. And no way to corroborate this. My dad firmly stated that he dated Jane Mansfield. Jane Mansfield was an iconic blonde around the time of, like, Marilyn Monroe.

[Jenna]

I know who Jamie James Manfield is. A hottie.

[Kalila]

Right.

[Jenna]

Body.

[Kalila]

Right. And who was like, they think Mariska Hargitay's mom. Right. Whoa. So this is lore. This is lore that my dad said he. They want. They had a thing. They dated for a little while.

[Jenna]

For how long?

[Kalila]

They were briefly in love. Who knows?

[Jenna]

He was smacking up on James. Man.

[Kalila]

We don't know. Was this something that my dad just.

[Esther]

Did he say it?

[Kalila]

He said it.

[Esther]

Yeah, he Told you.

[Kalila]

Yeah. And so one of the little tiny pieces of proof that he. That I made, I'm like, oh, maybe that was true. Is because he was like, oh, I was really good friend growing up because my dad was like a millionaire European man. Right. I was really good friends with Johnny Frankenheimer, who was a filmmaker. And I was like, Frankenstein. I've watched, you know, Frankenstein's monster and. And I didn't believe this. I was like, there's something very, like, tall tale about the things that he's telling me. Like, I couldn't connect it because all I. I just saw my dad as my dad and not this, like, playboy, whatever. But when he died, the Frankenheimer sent their condolences. So I was like, oh, he was not lying about that. So now makes me think that he.

[Ian]

Was maybe or he paid them to send their condolences.

[Kalila]

Who knows?

[Ian]

Fake.

[Esther]

I don't. That doesn't really feel like the kind of thing that you would just randomly make up and tell your daughter.

[Kalila]

Yeah, I don't know.

[Jenna]

I don't know. That is.

[Ian]

Was your data.

[Kalila]

It's a cool thing because she was like, so iconic, right?

[Ian]

Yeah.

[Esther]

I mean, she's the blonde in that famous Sophia Loren photo.

[Kalila]

Right.

[Esther]

Where Sophia Loren is, like, giving side eyes.

[Ian]

Right?

[Kalila]

Right.

[Esther]

And every, like it girl has recreated that photo in the last, like, five years.

[Kalila]

Right. So that's lore.

[Esther]

I have no family lore because all my family died before I was born on my dad's side, except for my dad. And my dad forgets everything. He, like, he doesn't know anything about his childhood, so he'll just like, randomly make up a lie and then I'll believe it for a day and then I'll ask a question about it later. I'm like, wait, so what happened to your dog Rusty? He's like, oh, I made that up.

[Kalila]

Oh, no.

[Esther]

Yeah. So there's like, I don't have. I have nothing.

[Jenna]

He's like, well, you know, before you were born, an alien came down. I put him in a basket on my bicycle. We flew to the moon.

[Esther]

Yes.

[Ian]

And then you asked him about that and he's like, you heard me.

[Jenna]

Me and my friends ended up finding a cave. There was a man named Chester Copperpot, and we got these jewels to save our family in Orego.

[Kalila]

Is your dad hot or was your dad hot? Yeah, he looked like. If you think Richard Gere is hot.

[Jenna]

Yeah, he's a hot guy.

[Kalila]

He looked like Richard Gere when he.

[Ian]

Was young, when I knew him.

[Kalila]

Right. But like, I mean, like, Old. Like, oh, my God. Would love to see a picture.

[Ian]

Do it.

[Kalila]

He's 6 4. So he was a tall.

[Esther]

You guys have family lore?

[Ian]

No, no, I'm like, everything that my family says, I'm like, yeah, yeah.

[Jenna]

All my family's dead.

[Kalila]

Nothing that seemed a little bit like a tall tale where you're like, oh.

[Jenna]

My grandfather, they said that he was. He tried out for the Phillies, and it was between him and, like, Larry Boa, and they chose Larry Boa because my grandfather was such a drunk and drug addict. It's like, well, one of those is right.

[Ian]

Honestly, I'm sure there is some shit that my family told me. I just don't listen.

[Esther]

My grandma used to tell me about because my great grandfather was the funeral director. And, like, they're very small town. I know. It's so cool. My biggest flex.

[Kalila]

I get it now. This is incredible. Did you like six Feet Under?

[Esther]

I watched it recently when I was pregnant, and I thought it was. I liked the. The funeral element of it, but I thought the show itself was, like, a little too early 2000s.

[Kalila]

Like, because it was early 2000s. Alan Ball, right. I actually really like that show. I rewatched it. I think I rewatched it right around the same time, so.

[Esther]

These losers.

[Kalila]

What is that? What?

[Jenna]

Don't put toys near. As if you don't want the toys near.

[Esther]

I want that one.

[Ian]

This one smells like grape.

[Jenna]

This one smells like. Like. Like nail polish.

[Esther]

You know, I don't think this is an episode for us to talk.

[Kalila]

Let's do.

[Esther]

Let's play truth or dare.

[Kalila]

Okay?

[Jenna]

She works in porn.

[Kalila]

You know how the way I said it was so much cuter?

[Jenna]

We didn't realize she was a porn girl.

[Kalila]

She's a porn girly.

[Jenna]

Yeah, she's a porn girl.

[Esther]

We're allowed to say that.

[Jenna]

Sure.

[Esther]

The telephone reveal. Okay.

[Ian]

Are you sure you're allowed to? Because that's her business.

[Jenna]

I've asked her if it's okay to speak on podcasts, but I won't say her name or anything.

[Ian]

Okay, I respect that.

[Kalila]

Truth or dare. Good for her.

[Ian]

Dare.

[Kalila]

Well, it's. I think we're gonna go, sir.

[Jenna]

Dare.

[Esther]

No, that's fine.

[Kalila]

Okay.

[Esther]

Let's let the little babies. The little monkeys.

[Kalila]

Actually, I have a great there for Jenna, and she might not be down with it.

[Ian]

Can't be germs.

[Kalila]

No.

[Jenna]

Let me go to the car and get my Blue Chew.

[Kalila]

Give Ian your phone and he can call anyone.

[Ian]

Okay.

[Kalila]

Call the most famous person on her phone.

[Jenna]

Oh, my God.

[Kalila]

See? Gotcha.

[Ian]

You have to tell me before you have to show me.

[Jenna]

Yeah, we're not going to call the my pillow guy on air.

[Kalila]

Okay.

[Ian]

Here. Contacts. He chooses my dad.

[Jenna]

Oh, let's call a nurse from Dr. Hackett. Team, let's go.

[Kalila]

I know there are a lot of famous nurs numbers in there.

[Ian]

I don't think I have their names.

[Jenna]

Like, I'm calling American Airlines right now. Oh, let's call. Let's call.

[Ian]

Pick one.

[Kalila]

Here, I'll pick. No.

[Jenna]

Oh, I thought it said dog. It's a dog sit. All right, let's just do this.

[Kalila]

Here, let me. Can I. Can I choose?

[Jenna]

What if I called? It was like, I'm in jail. I need money.

[Kalila]

Here.

[Ian]

What?

[Kalila]

That's a famous one.

[Ian]

What?

[Kalila]

Who?

[Ian]

Who?

[Kalila]

Don't show me your call.

[Ian]

Who?

[Jenna]

No, we shouldn't do this. No, no, no.

[Ian]

That's still his number.

[Esther]

Wait, can we say?

[Ian]

Yeah, it's fine. It's Glen Powell.

[Esther]

Glenn Powell.

[Ian]

I've had his number since we were like 15.

[Esther]

Why do you know him?

[Ian]

Endurance.

[Esther]

She was on a Discovery kids reality show that was like Survivor for children.

[Jenna]

No way.

[Ian]

Yeah.

[Jenna]

Are you serious?

[Ian]

And I won. Bitch, you did well, actually.

[Jenna]

Pull that clip.

[Ian]

Wait, I didn't win the first one. There's such. They're crazy clips. Like when you look at me on TV as a 14 year old wearing my hair this short, having a tie and suspenders.

[Kalila]

Did you have like a pukisha necklace.

[Jenna]

Before dressing like a magician?

[Ian]

No, they did not want me to dress like.

[Esther]

Wait, was Glenn Powell on the show?

[Ian]

He was on the first season.

[Esther]

Glen Powell was on Endurance with you?

[Ian]

Yes. And he actually got eliminated the first day. I'm so, so sorry for saying that, Glenn. Yeah.

[Jenna]

Wait, so I think that's why he.

[Ian]

Looks like Glenn Successful.

[Kalila]

Because he can tell you firmly, you do not look like Glen Powell. And I mean this, like, sweetly, with, like, love in my heart.

[Ian]

He's got the smile. He's got the smize going on all the time.

[Esther]

Wait, Glen Powell was on Endurance with you?

[Ian]

Yes.

[Esther]

What was he like?

[Ian]

Well, he got eliminated the first day, but he was cool.

[Jenna]

Call Glenn and talk about endurance.

[Ian]

He was dope.

[Jenna]

Oh, hey, remember when we were on Endurance?

[Ian]

Okay, I'm calling. Let me see.

[Jenna]

Turn it up.

[Ian]

He's gonna not pick up or be like, hello.

[Kalila]

I'm sorry. You do look like Glen Powell.

[Jenna]

No, the way you looked into my soul. And when I can tell you with all voicemail in. In every fiber of my being, you do not look like Glen Powell, you ugly little troll man.

[Kalila]

No, I think Quite frankly, Glen Powell is prototypically handsome, but you are a special. My type. My type.

[Esther]

So what she's saying is you look more like Bobby Lee than Glenn, which.

[Kalila]

By the way, I fucked for 10 years. So don't. That is not a slack. So when are we gonna start you into mommies?

[Jenna]

Yes. Yes, yes.

[Esther]

You guys, it's no secret that Kalila and I have been wearing skims for years. We love pretty much everything that they come out with. Their shirts, their bras, their underwear, sweats. We just love skims. I don't know what's in the water, what's in the formula, but it just works. And today we're specifically talking about the push up bra. Now, it's actually called the Skims ultimate bra bra collection. Now, I stopped wearing push up bras because they would just bother me. They would not be comfortable. However, skims really redesigned the push up bra to make it comfortable, to make it flattering. And this is a push up bra that Kalil and I have both integrated into our lifestyles. The Skims ultimate push up bra is soft, it's comfortable, it's sexy. It's just a really great solid bra. Like, especially if you're traveling. It's like you got your comfy bra, you got your Skims ultimate push up bra. You know, for each occasion, you can shop the Skims ultimate bra collection and [e-mail] after you place your order, be sure to let them know that we sent you select podcast in the survey and be sure to select our show Trash Tuesday in the drop down menu that follows. Okay, Ian, truth or dare me.

[Ian]

Next dare.

[Kalila]

I have one in which, Ian, you call somebody and say that it hurts when you pee and that you think you might have.

[Jenna]

That's so funny because I got tested on Monday and I am fully negative with everything.

[Kalila]

Which one do you go to?

[Jenna]

Cutting edge test.

[Kalila]

Yes, baby.

[Jenna]

The best performer panel. Yes, I got everything panel. Just to be safe.

[Kalila]

Did she tell you to go there?

[Jenna]

Yeah, yeah.

[Kalila]

Yes, yes, yes. That's where all the porn girlies go.

[Jenna]

It's amazing. Yeah, I'll call my mom and be like, mom, am I still on your insurance? Because I look, it's. It hurts when I pee and.

[Esther]

No, not ma. I hate mom pranks. I will not allow mom pranks. But if.

[Kalila]

Ian, my mom is already so anxious, I could never.

[Ian]

Yeah, my mom could. Might have a heart attack from that.

[Jenna]

Hey. Hi, mom. Why don't you give me your new address? Yeah, I. Ian. Yeah? When are you moving across the street from Me in California.

[Ian]

Mom, how do you answer call with that?

[Jenna]

It's 1, 2, 3, fun time street. Ian and Gail forever. California 9021 now. Hurry up. I'm all excited. Did you call tape? No, not yet. Okay, I'm not coming. Yep. Well, I have a question. Am I still on your insurance? Is there any way I could get your insurance to cover me? Because I it start. It's starting to hurt when I pee and I think I might have picked up something. No, there's no way I can get you on my insurance. I have Medicare now. Oh, okay. Yeah, because I, I, I think a couple months ago I may have spent my time unwisely with one of the on the road and Damon, you, you better just go. No matter how much it cost. Don't they have a, a care walking?

[Ian]

Blood pressure's going up.

[Jenna]

I'm kidding, Mom. I'm kidding. Oh my God. I actually got tested the other day and I'm totally clean as a whistle. Can you believe it? No, I cannot. Who's there? I'm with some of my friends. Oh, hi, friends.

[Esther]

Hi, Mom. We told him not to do this. We didn't want to, we didn't want to trick you because you're a sensitive mother.

[Ian]

We didn't want to stress you out.

[Jenna]

You know what? He made me hardcore. He does this to me all the time. I should know better. My mom came to visit it for the first time. She stayed with me in my apartment and it was so stressful she ended up getting shingles. It's true. Yeah, but mom, you have to admit, it was stressful. Yes, I clean. That was the stressful part. Yeah, that's what mom and I was going to be. It was really cool. We stayed up till 4 eating Chinese food, watching Seinfeld.

[Esther]

Really?

[Jenna]

And then I went to bed and she, she stayed on my couch because she refused to go into the basement, sleep in my spare room. And I tried to give her my bed and she wouldn't take it. So she slept on the couch. And I could hear her tinkering around in my apartment, moving things around like a squirrel.

[Esther]

Are you her only child?

[Jenna]

Yeah. Are you kids having fun?

[Kalila]

Yeah, we are. We love you.

[Esther]

Is so amazing and so funny and.

[Ian]

Talented and he's so kind and genuine.

[Kalila]

And you raise the best, best son ever.

[Esther]

And he's a good communicator.

[Jenna]

Yeah, I, I do have to agree on that. He is a sweetheart. Well, thank you. Isn't that so nice, Mom? It is. I hear it a lot. It never gets old. Oh, that's nice. And we said all that because I do have to tell you, I have aids.

[Esther]

No, stop it.

[Jenna]

Would you get a grip?

[Esther]

Get a grip.

[Jenna]

All right, I gotta go. I love you, Mom. I'll call you later, you mom.

[Ian]

Love you.

[Jenna]

I love you. Okay, bye. Bye. Bye, friends.

[Esther]

Bye.

[Jenna]

Bye. She's the best.

[Kalila]

Oh, she's the best. That was so sweet to Gail.

[Jenna]

Yeah, that was really nice, you guys. Thank you.

[Esther]

Oh, my God, she's so sweet.

[Jenna]

We love you.

[Ian]

I want to invite her over while I'm going to sleep so she can tinker. Cuz that would make me feel like.

[Jenna]

Really, it was just tinkering. Moving things.

[Kalila]

Oh, son of a. I remember when I went over to your place.

[Jenna]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

And I just heard a voice saying, come on in.

[Jenna]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

Walked into pitch black room and no one to greet me. And I sat on a pile of laundry alone for 30 minutes, just. Ian. Ian.

[Ian]

Be right there.

[Jenna]

We told our producer to let you in, and he just didn't turn on a light or, like, anything. And we had like. I. I was like, tell her when she comes in, she can hang out on the couch. And, like, whatever. There's water in the fridge. And he did none of that. No.

[Kalila]

Just in the dark, like, oh, my.

[Ian]

God, dude, I. I knowing you, Lila, like, you're like, I just have to do it. Yeah, I know you're gonna say anything. I'm not gonna ask anyone. I'm not.

[Kalila]

Oh, yeah. I would never dare inconvenience anyone.

[Esther]

Three minutes and I'm like, texting you. I couldn't. Sorry, couldn't make it. I'm out of here. I would be so. I would be so anxious.

[Jenna]

Dude, I had no idea about that, and I'm so sorry.

[Kalila]

Oh, no. It was fun. Yeah, it was fun.

[Jenna]

It was fun.

[Kalila]

It was fun because I was like, this is so punk rock. This is so punk rock. Like, look at me. Somewhere in. Where do you live in? Somewhere in Brooklyn, someone's living room in the dark on a pile of laundry, Just.

[Esther]

Living the young white girl's American dream.

[Kalila]

Super pregnant, by the way.

[Jenna]

Hilarious. We had no idea.

[Kalila]

I was so nauseous. Like, peak nausea. I was like, in the dark, like, I think I'm gonna die.

[Jenna]

We had no idea.

[Kalila]

Yeah. Next. She hid that next dare.

[Jenna]

Wow.

[Kalila]

So this is from the Patreon. There's a couple if we want to.

[Ian]

Is it for me?

[Kalila]

Yeah. This.

[Esther]

This is not true or dare. This is Oops all dares with Ian and Jenna.

[Kalila]

All right.

[Jenna]

Truth.

[Esther]

Truth.

[Jenna]

Give me a truth.

[Esther]

No, we're doing dares only.

[Ian]

All right, I'll do a truth and a dare, actually.

[Esther]

Fine, do them all.

[Jenna]

Spin the bottle.

[Kalila]

I have one where you baby bird a banana into Ian's mouth on Instagram Live.

[Ian]

Okay, okay, easy.

[Jenna]

Are you kidding me? Spit my mouth. I don't care. What are we talking about?

[Ian]

But I get in your mouth, right?

[Jenna]

Huh?

[Kalila]

Yeah, I don't want.

[Jenna]

Go for it.

[Ian]

Do I have your consent?

[Esther]

Wait, wait, wait. Wait for what? Ariel get it, by the way.

[Jenna]

This was their idea.

[Kalila]

This was from our patrons.

[Jenna]

Yeah, I know. And I signed up for your patreon, and I submitted this. No, you're supposed to. Are we eating it like, you want.

[Ian]

Me to chew it up in this?

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Jenna]

No, no. We're supposed to eat it like lady and the.

[Kalila]

No, no. It's baby bird. Feed it.

[Ian]

So you're not okay with that?

[Esther]

Yes.

[Kalila]

You have to.

[Jenna]

I'm gonna puke.

[Ian]

Okay, we need to do another one. I just bite it and put it in your mouth.

[Kalila]

No, baby, whatever.

[Ian]

No, no, no. That's nasty.

[Kalila]

It's already mushy.

[Jenna]

Yeah. Really? You're gonna spit it in my mouth like yogurt?

[Ian]

I'm just gonna take a bite and.

[Jenna]

Yeah, this is like a sleepover where, like, you end up getting molested because it goes that far. They're like, do it. Just. Just masturbate in front of us. Do it or we'll beat you up. This is your baseball team in sixth grade.

[Ian]

Do I have to do it with my clothes off?

[Kalila]

Yes.

[Esther]

I said that. No one said, yeah, do it.

[Jenna]

All right. I like this sleepover. Oh, my God. Are you serious? Are you kidding me right now?

[Esther]

You gotta take off.

[Jenna]

Let's go. Fun Mountain.

[Ian]

You can see through it.

[Jenna]

God forbid, lady.

[Kalila]

Fuck.

[Jenna]

Jesus Christ.

[Esther]

Yeah, I did it. Give me another dare.

[Jenna]

Papa hungry. Baby want more Num, num, num.

[Ian]

See, guys? Now we're having fun.

[Esther]

More dares.

[Jenna]

More dares. More dares. More dares. Jenna, put your foot in more dares. Quiet, producer. Sit on my lap and take your shirt off.

[Kalila]

What is that bra?

[Esther]

I want that bra really good.

[Ian]

I think it's out from under.

[Jenna]

Oh, my God, lady, what's the back look like?

[Kalila]

Look at little Esther's little pervy hands.

[Jenna]

I know. That really was.

[Kalila]

What is that bra?

[Jenna]

My precious.

[Kalila]

What is that panties?

[Ian]

Hand me down. The way.

[Kalila]

The way you cuff moves.

[Ian]

It's so gross. It's like you're.

[Jenna]

Can I tell you something? There's nothing gross about this.

[Ian]

It's like you're putting back inventory at, like, a Forever 21.

[Jenna]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You do look like an Amazon worker when you do this.

[Ian]

She goes, okay, we got this here.

[Kalila]

No, but you guys are missing the eyes.

[Ian]

Oh, you can't miss. I feel bad.

[Kalila]

The hands look one way, but the.

[Ian]

Eyes, look, she's like this.

[Jenna]

Now, see, I can't do that because I'm a gentleman. So I'll just do this.

[Ian]

Here. The way you laugh, feel better than my dad.

[Esther]

The way this makes you laugh. It's like my big sister used to laugh when I would fall down.

[Kalila]

It's so funny to me.

[Jenna]

What?

[Kalila]

It's just the. It's just like, you know, the little raccoon hands just.

[Jenna]

You did look like an old Italian sculptor.

[Ian]

And then she feels. She goes like this on hers. It's so weird that.

[Kalila]

That I understand that the. The bounce of your own boobs.

[Ian]

No, after she touches mine, maybe I should. It's like immediate, like this. And she goes. So she goes.

[Esther]

I actually think I just found my calling. I think I should get all my friends breast exams.

[Ian]

Actually, you would feel in mind that I'm.

[Kalila]

I love how you're like, I just found my calling. You've literally been pitching this to us for years.

[Ian]

I just want to say I just found my calling.

[Jenna]

She's also been like, let me be a boobologist.

[Ian]

Yeah, boobologist.

[Esther]

Should we start a clinic together?

[Jenna]

Yes. Yes.

[Ian]

Next day.

[Jenna]

What would I do with the clinic?

[Esther]

You could help me. Think again.

[Kalila]

You have to go around and smell everyone's breath.

[Ian]

No, I just ate bananas. That's the worst fucking breath ever.

[Esther]

I have bad breath. Those are the worst. Next.

[Jenna]

I don't.

[Esther]

What?

[Ian]

You have to smell our.

[Kalila]

Look, she's smelling her armpit, preemptively thinking. That's the next question.

[Jenna]

I thought it was gonna be, I have to smell.

[Ian]

Okay to smell our armpits.

[Esther]

Yeah. It's bathed this morning.

[Kalila]

Oh, wait. This is great.

[Esther]

No, it's not. It's not great.

[Kalila]

Why can I tell you that? I'm. I. I don't. I. I promise you I'm not exaggerating. I don't smell great. Great.

[Jenna]

It would be so funny if everyone lined up and I. It was like the Pepsi Coke challenge, but I had to tell whose was whose. That would be such a funny.

[Kalila]

Should we just take her Underwood? No, I'm on my period. I can't do that.

[Ian]

I just started spotting.

[Esther]

I got mine this morning. When did you get yours?

[Ian]

A couple days ago. I haven't bled in five days.

[Kalila]

Well, you're gonna smell, period.

[Jenna]

Oh, we could do that with our. I'll shut my eyes and you guys come up with armpits.

[Kalila]

Okay, the armpits. Yeah. All right.

[Esther]

Yes, yes, yes.

[Jenna]

Here, hold on, hold on.

[Ian]

Clothes off for this.

[Jenna]

I have, I have a blindfold. I gotta. I got a bandana.

[Esther]

Okay. What kinks are you doing?

[Ian]

I feel like you can't smell it through our clothes. You gotta like really get in there.

[Esther]

You can smell mine through my clothes.

[Jenna]

Dude, can I say I. I'm into art when I like someone. I'm really into armpit pits and like smells. This is like when Quentin Tarantino is in a movie and he's like, in this scene we're. Everyone's gonna be barefoot. It's like. Okay, director.

[Esther]

I have to say, I recently ran into an ex and he had his nose real close to my underarm. I was like dating Brad Williams. Yeah.

[Ian]

Like, was he a no name norm? Like, how did he just. How?

[Esther]

Walking by.

[Ian]

That's okay.

[Jenna]

Oh, I sat on a banana.

[Ian]

Okay, so then we have to pull it. Put it up to your armpits.

[Esther]

No, his nose.

[Ian]

I mean up.

[Jenna]

What do I do?

[Kalila]

Just lean back like that and we have to.

[Jenna]

Oh, like I'm getting my hair.

[Esther]

Wait. And no talking, cuz I'm talking.

[Jenna]

Yeah, but I know it's going to be gentle cuz Jenna, they're going to hear her giggle now.

[Ian]

We're going to mix up.

[Esther]

Stop talking, idiot.

[Kalila]

Okay, person one is going now.

[Jenna]

It'd be so funny if. If you guys got a homeless person. Put my ass up to their nose there.

[Esther]

Oh, wait, no, wait, that's Esther.

[Jenna]

That's Esther.

[Esther]

Restart. This is great.

[Jenna]

I did not expect this to be my Wednesday. Hold on, wait more. Hold on.

[Kalila]

Person two.

[Jenna]

Person two doesn't have a smell. But they are wet. Okay, person two has been working at a deli. Person, I need clothes or I can't smell well. Jesus. Okay, got everyone.

[Ian]

All right, everyone wait till they get.

[Kalila]

Back to their seats.

[Ian]

I have to smell you.

[Jenna]

Person one was Esther, person two was Kalila, and person three was Jenna.

[Kalila]

Describe each smell.

[Jenna]

Person one, you could tell that they had showered. Person two was super sweaty. Which is what? Or no, no. Person two was smelly and Kalila said she had smelled. And then person three was super sweaty and Jennifer was like, I'm sweating and I think that's what it is.

[Esther]

I hate you.

[Kalila]

I just want to say that I.

[Esther]

Don'T like you anymore.

[Kalila]

I'm number one.

[Jenna]

What?

[Ian]

Ms. Melody. Oh my.

[Jenna]

God.

[Esther]

Yeah, I showered and I have a clean shirt.

[Ian]

On. But you didn't put deodorant on. I. I smell as soon as I get out of the shower. Yeah, if I don't put deodorant on.

[Kalila]

That's normal.

[Esther]

Do you have deodorant on?

[Ian]

Like, Kalila doesn't do her deodorant. She doesn't ever smell.

[Jenna]

Yeah, I mean, but who is person three? I like that one the most. Shake that ass.

[Ian]

Let me see your head. I don't think my grandmother would be.

[Esther]

Happy that I was doing this bad.

[Jenna]

Person two was strong, but had a good personality.

[Esther]

What is wrong with my body?

[Kalila]

Nothing.

[Ian]

Nothing.

[Kalila]

Nothing is wrong with your body.

[Ian]

You just don't put deodorant.

[Jenna]

You showered, and you didn't wear deodorant. That's it.

[Ian]

I smell within two minutes.

[Kalila]

I promise you. I think the reason you thought I was showered is because I put my boyfriend's men's deodorant on this morning. In a rush.

[Jenna]

I wear women's deodorant.

[Esther]

Let me smell.

[Kalila]

So it smells like men's deodorant, Esther. Yeah, it does, right? I think you have a really cute smell. I'm not even. It's. We've talked about this.

[Esther]

That's not what Ian said.

[Kalila]

It definitely smells like body, but it.

[Esther]

Doesn'T offend me, by the way. How about this? How about this? Joke's on you. He smelled what I smell like, and he thought it was you.

[Kalila]

It's true.

[Esther]

So you look like you smell bad.

[Kalila]

I look like I smell bad. This could be true. I. You actually do not look like you smell bad.

[Ian]

Yeah, that's what's confusing.

[Kalila]

And I think it's because I look like big back and athletic that maybe I look like. I'm like, a sweaty, disgusting.

[Jenna]

You look like you've been doing the haka all day, so that's why you sweat.

[Ian]

Okay, it's starting to work.

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Ian]

But also.

[Kalila]

Also chronically sweaty, so I look.

[Ian]

But also the only reason he thought.

[Kalila]

That it was because I had prefaced.

[Jenna]

It because you were like, I really smell.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Jenna]

Oh, Jenna was the last one. Yeah, that was sweaty.

[Ian]

But what did it smell like?

[Jenna]

It. It felt the most. Closest to a pussy.

[Ian]

It felt. But I'm saying what it is.

[Esther]

Was that what you were grading us on?

[Jenna]

Yeah. Yeah. Y.

[Ian]

What did it smell like?

[Kalila]

We weren't putting our. To your face.

[Jenna]

No, because the last person really laid it on there.

[Ian]

Yeah, because you were like, I can't smell it.

[Jenna]

I couldn't. I couldn't.

[Ian]

I can't.

[Jenna]

You guys were like, holding them far away. And you weren't wafting.

[Ian]

Even I put that.

[Kalila]

I forgot to waft.

[Jenna]

That's the thing. A sommelier.

[Esther]

I don't need to waft.

[Jenna]

No, no. They can smell it in the other room. You can smell it from the 405.

[Ian]

That's why there was traffic. Okay. Okay, this is mean.

[Kalila]

We probably. We can do, like, one more dare.

[Ian]

Maybe sanitizer.

[Kalila]

Ian and Jenna have to swap clothing.

[Jenna]

That's hilarious.

[Ian]

Great.

[Jenna]

Cool. On camera or off camera?

[Esther]

Yeah, on camera. Oh, they're out.

[Jenna]

I'm trying to be a gentleman and not, like, look.

[Kalila]

Do a round of truth. How about that?

[Ian]

My head is so small. Like, if I wear that this way. Good night. Goodbye and good night.

[Jenna]

Here. Ready?

[Esther]

That's cool. Actually.

[Jenna]

No, be. Be, like, for real. Don't, like, vamp it up. That looks good.

[Kalila]

One of them.

[Ian]

That's just, like. I've seen this look for 15 years.

[Kalila]

Okay, this is. It's getting a little serious. Okay.

[Jenna]

Oh, boy.

[Kalila]

What's the least favorite thing that people know about you?

[Esther]

What do you mean?

[Kalila]

That you're, like, known like that. I'd like a story that you've told or a thing about you that you regret.

[Esther]

Oh.

[Jenna]

I think I was too open about my sexuality too early, and I feel like I'm very much judged and looked upon as a joke because of that, and I don't like that.

[Esther]

Wait, do you mean, like, open just publicly, like, in the comedy community or, like, with fans, friends, or in.

[Jenna]

In general, podcasts? I. I, like, really bled my life out, I think, too early. And I think that's.

[Kalila]

I can really relate to this, and I really empathize because I think in the beginning of podcasting, we thought that we could just lay it all out there and that people would sort of just like, listen, accept, and love it and.

[Jenna]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

And also come to bite you in the ass. But also, by the way, when we tell the stories, there is. For. At least for me, it's an exaggerated version of that.

[Ian]

Yeah, right.

[Kalila]

And it's never the truth. We say it in a way that's either in. My problem is I've said really serious things with a very, like, flat affect or in a room full of people, like, laughing so it.

[Ian]

Or something that wasn't that serious with a serious tone. It's like.

[Kalila]

But also, it's like, there's a level of embellishing there. Right? Yeah, I. I totally. And that sucks, because I just want to say it was. I thought it was so cool that you came out and did that and like, made like. Like, talked about it openly.

[Jenna]

Well, I appreciate that, but it's. It's like you're. You're also looking at, you know, 10 years of discussing it, like, getting on the top of it and being able to tell. To express it in, like, a fun way. But I. I basically came out on stage as I was in my per. In tandem with my personal life. So I was, like, processing this stuff publicly and saying things in a. In a way that maybe I should have kept private. And then, like. Like, to this day, people hold it against me. They're like, oh, this is coming from the guy that sucks women's dick. This is coming from exactly. Just commenters. Like, dude, even for a while in. In, like, green rooms or, like, comics being like, damn, I didn't know we're out here sucking dicks.

[Esther]

That's not like.

[Ian]

It's just so weird. Misogyny and, like, homophobia, sexism. It's just so weird that. That you're someone's. That anyone's sex life matters. Yeah, I don't even. I don't even get that.

[Jenna]

It does matter. And whether we want to act like it does it or not, it does matter. And people have an idea in their.

[Ian]

Head, but it wouldn't matter to you, right?

[Jenna]

But it. It. There. There is a level of judgment there, especially when your community or fandom is like, this alpha whatever. So anything that deviates away from that is looked upon is like, oh, that's so terrible. And then it's like, well, you know, it's easy to sling arrows once you open that door because you're seen as, like, weak or whatever, because you're in the men, and it's like this albatross, and I just kind of wish I had waited longer and been more precious with where I spoke about it instead of just bleeding it out on. But. But also, I was asked about it everywhere I went, so I was like, okay. And I wish I had stronger boundaries and stronger resolve to go, no, I don't want to talk about this. But if I'm being honest, I was a young comic, and I was desperate to be liked, and I was desperate for a joke and a laugh and a fucking, oh, man. Oh, cool. I'm here, I'm there. And it's like, I got asked and I answered, and I shouldn't have, and I should have held more to the chest. And there are things I keep close to the chest. Like, I call my mom joke, joke. But, like, I never discuss deep, personal things. Things like about my childhood with like my dad or like her or anything. Like, I keep that very private and even, like, I'll speak on the surface of like, oh, this is happening with this girl, but, like, not gonna go into details about my, like, intimate relationships.

[Kalila]

Taking the words right out of my mouth. I think that my biggest regret is talking about things in a surface jokey way about something that is like a.

[Jenna]

True, like, underestimating that we're here talking and it goes out into this ether.

[Kalila]

That we are so intimate pieces and.

[Ian]

Not the whole story people run with it.

[Kalila]

My biggest regret is talking about my stepdad's son in a very flippant way because I thought that, oh, we're just gonna make light of something, like, tragic and no one knows, like the full story and all they've taken out of it, oh, she fucked her brother. Which is, by the way, my most painful thing that I hear on the Internet is she fucked her brother and then he killed himself. Like, do you know how much that pains me? Because that is Roger, that is my stepdad's like, son. The truth is I made the mistake of never telling the story correctly because I'm in a room full of people And I have 20 seconds to say something interesting and funny. And that was isn't the place to ever talk about that.

[Jenna]

Right.

[Kalila]

Here's the truth of how that went down. And in a serious way. This isn't going to be funny at all because I just really want to like, clear the air because I have so much like regret and pain over this idea of, of anyone talking about my stepdad's son this way. Him and I were best friends for a year. My mom and my stepdad did not know each other that were not associated with each other. We're not dating. Him and I were just friends. We smoked weed. We did a lot of things. We were friends, friends, friends. He saved my life. When I tried to take my own life, he called his dad and said, something is up with Kalila. I don't know what it is, but can we go drive over to her place and check on her? By the time they came over, I had already OD'd. And Roger, my stepdad, my history. My high school history teacher took me to Huntington where they pumped my stomach. I had a lot of seizures. I ended up at Children's Hospital for a week and was put into a 5150 hold that turned into a month long stay in a psych hospital. Years pass. After that, I go to college. My mom and my stepdad start to date. My friend And I lose contact. There's, like, years. And now I'm like, oh, is this person now going to be, like, my stepbrother? But there's. There's a big gap there. It wasn't like we were step siblings, and then we, like, hung out and had sex or whatever like that. Like, we. We knew each other. And then years fast forward, my mom and. And Roger get together, right? And during that time, he was really, really struggling with his mental illness. And I was in college, and one day I get a call from my mom, and she says that I have to tell you something. Are you alone? Are you sat down? And I said, yeah. And she said that this person killed himself. And this was a person who saved my life. Who saved my life and who listened to all of these horrible, like, pains that I had as a teenager. And, yeah, we lost contact because I left in Nevada to go to college. And I was in so much pain over it that I did not go to his funeral. I had so much shame that maybe he had seen that I had attempted to take my own life, and maybe it planted a seed in his. And I saw the pain in my stepdad, who is still my stepdad to this day. He found his son at home in his bedroom. And the fact that the Internet has, like, this has been a sore part of my life that I have flippantly just talked about with so much stupidity and never telling the whole story, and the fact that people have gone on to be like, you fucked your brother and he killed himself. Do you know how painful that is for me to hear here? Because this is, like, a real tragedy in my life that the person who saved mine lost his life, you know, and. Sorry, a little bit too serious.

[Esther]

Okay, can I say one thank you so much for sharing that and telling that story. And I'm so wanting to jump in. Yeah, I don't want to hug you.

[Kalila]

Because I have a kid now, and I just think about, like, Roger losing his kid.

[Esther]

But, Kalila, I have something seriously like, to say to that, which is that podcasting in similar to stand up, like, that is your creative outlet and a way I literally relate to this so much because I have relatives that have lost their lives, and I have literally gone on to do stand up, making fun of that situation.

[Kalila]

I just wanted to smell you, but it was. I made a mistake, and I know where I made a mistake, and I'm embarrassed.

[Esther]

I know that you feel that way, but in that moment, you were coping with humor, with something traumatic, and that is the most relatable thing for anyone, especially people in comedy. Someone like me that laughed at. Laughed my whole way through my grandfather's funeral, told jokes about my grandfather dying, about my cousin dying. Like, these are things now. They weren't broadcast on podcast, so I don't have mean comments to remind me all the time. But I'm just saying, like, don't hate on or judge yourself for the way that you flippantly said it funny in a moment. Because that is up a way of coping. That is a way of processing. Who doesn't when something really bad happens? Oh, this. Laugh it off to make it not hurt. Like, what you did is such a normal reaction. You did nothing wrong. But I understand how you feel now. But I just. I want to go back and tell you, like, it's okay that you did that.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Ian]

And we're not like, I'm not just trying to be nice when I agree with you either. There is literally nothing wrong. And even if you did it again, I would say you didn't do anything wrong. Like, you are coping with something. The wrong is the way that people extract things and then attack. There is nothing wrong with anyone sharing on their own platform how they cope with things or not telling a full story.

[Esther]

You don't think every comedian we know takes something painful and uses it to go for a laugh? That's.

[Jenna]

I just want to know, when you were 5150, did they give you a gown that looked like mine?

[Kalila]

They don't. They don't. By the way, other than 51. 53 times.

[Jenna]

Yeah. So Internet. Consider the source.

[Kalila]

Unreliable source. By the way, this is exactly what the counselor at that place thought. She's an unreliable source. So I ended up dating one of the counselors from the psych hospital.

[Jenna]

Hilarious.

[Kalila]

Cuz who's going to believe me?

[Jenna]

But we really met at the wrong time. We could have really been.

[Kalila]

No, we would have not. We wouldn't be alive.

[Jenna]

We would have. We would have burned it to the filter.

[Kalila]

Oh, my goodness. I was. I was a disaster. But I. I think my. My pain comes from feeling that I disrespected, of course, the person and I. That I disrespected Roger, my stepdad.

[Esther]

And I. I know how close you are with Roger. Like, I've talked to Roger and I've talked to you about Roger. I know that he is, like, I actually had never put it together that that was his son. And I'm, like, in shock over this. Like, I just had no idea because you. You always say crazy stuff, and I just like Laugh because it's so crazy. I can't imagine how much pain you must be in over this, because I know how important those people are to you.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Esther]

And I hope that you cut yourself some slack because I'm so sorry.

[Ian]

I didn't mean to do that. It exploded in my hand because I was twisting it.

[Kalila]

You got too nervous. It got too tense. She popped the thing open.

[Esther]

She was going, yes, but just give yourself grace, please.

[Kalila]

Thank you. Thank you. I appreciate that. I was also just gonna say you were in rooms with huge comedy people and Bobby was your boyfriend. And of course, you exaggerate the people pleasing all of that. Like, I will take. I will. Honestly, though, thank you for saying that. But I really want to hold myself accountable for just like, you know, not being better about the way I have delivered some things in the past.

[Ian]

I don't think it's holding yourself accountable. It's. If you're choosing that you want to change the way you deliver information, then you can, but it's not holding yourself accountable in a way that, like, you did something bad.

[Jenna]

People that listen to podcasts all the time have this idea of us that is not based in reality. So they're putting their bias on how you talk and what you would. And then they develop these friendships with these people that don't exist. And then they get mad that you're taking away from this person talking when they're just listening to hear their friend in their mind. And then they. People that listen have lives that they could never imagine being public. Public. People's number one fear is public speaking. So they're putting their bias of, like, why would they ever share that? They can't. How would they. And they don't understand the. The pressure and the stress and the. The feel of the room and what's going on and xyz. And to them, they would never. So they put their stink on it and then judge you for that when it's like, you couldn't do. You can sit here and. And divulge what we're doing and. And we probably couldn't sit and do your. Your job. So don't judge us and Monday morning quarterback everything we're doing and then make it your identity and totally make it out like you're, you know, some. Like, there's nothing gayer than being a catty, gossipy guy podcast fan. It's crazy to me that these talk about other men all day long and get defensive about their friend that they think they have in their head. You're a pathetic loser. And you think you're entitled to us and your idea of who and what we are when we were just giving you a snippet of the existence that we're sharing and we're totally different and we're playing things up and the fact that they can't realize that is very frustrating.

[Ian]

Yeah, it's like, read the room.

[Jenna]

But at the same time, it's like, we did. Well, I didn't expressly sign up for this when I started just kind of turned into this.

[Kalila]

Right, Right.

[Jenna]

But it's like, you know, you say things, and. And then you're, like, like, left with it, and you're like, what the.

[Esther]

I'm really glad you're starting to, like, come forward with things that you've been feeling a long time and that you've been dealing with. You know, I'm glad that you're starting to sort of, like, share with us and everyone, like, how these things make you feel and how they've changed you. Or I just think it's really interesting because for so long, you've sat and not said, which is also fully a great response, too. But I think this is really interesting and for everyone to have you come forward.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Ian]

I have, like, gone off on comments for years, and then I realized, like, no point. No, they don't get it. Like, for. In Kalila's defense, I've been like, I am her friend. I know that this is not true.

[Kalila]

I've done that, too.

[Ian]

People. People.

[Kalila]

You won't win that.

[Ian]

And they don't want. They don't.

[Esther]

No, they actually want.

[Kalila]

They want you.

[Ian]

Yeah. They don't want you to win, is what I'm saying.

[Kalila]

But, like. Like, you know, like Jay Moore says, like, you're shaking your fist at, like, an institution so large, so big, you're never gonna win. So it's like, you know, make. Make your peace with. With it.

[Ian]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

The way I had to reframe it is like, the Internet is like, wwe. It's not real life. It's.

[Ian]

It's for entertainment. Like, this is not touch grass.

[Kalila]

Look at the people around you. And that's what's real.

[Jenna]

You just got to go touch grass. Eat ass. I mean, what else is there?

[Kalila]

A T shirt.

[Ian]

Touch grass.

[Jenna]

Speaking of shirts, somebody stole my. I. This joke. I ended my special with it, and I had shirts that says, happiness is like, 9 11. It's an inside job. And someone showed me a shirt that has that with the twin towers on it and a plane with a smiley face on it, and they took my fucking thing. It's like, what can you do, you know? Have it, you fucking piece of sluggies.

[Esther]

We'll see you next week with a brand new episode. But. But wait, there's more.

[Jenna]

Jenna will be twerking at the 7:11 on La Cienica for free.

[Ian]

No tips.

[Jenna]

Jenna will be now dressing like 1999 Fred Durst. Yeah, there it is.

[Esther]

Ian, are you on?

[Ian]

I have my Pit stop deodorant. All natural. Smells great. You should smell Esther now and see if there's been a change.

[Jenna]

I will take your word for it.

[Ian]

On buytagenda.com or go to my Instagram Jenna Drew Menes and, you know, follow the link, figure it out. No, smell her now and see if it changed.

[Kalila]

I have EB Ocean Club at Ocean Club on Instagram and eboceanclub.com I still.

[Jenna]

Have your shampoo and conditioner. Hair growing and I think of you in the shower.

[Ian]

Wait, do you have any shows or anything?

[Jenna]

Yes, yes. Ianfinance.com for all my tickets and dates. I'm on the road basically every weekend till the end of 2025. I'm going everywhere. Charleston, South Carolina, Atlanta, Philadelphia, Ottawa, Indianapolis, Chicago.

[Ian]

When are you in Chicago, man?

[Jenna]

Why are you there? Ianfinance.com I animal69 Follow me on Instagram. Join my YouTube stage where all my standup is going. And I have a travel show that's coming out where I go to different towns and I do people's jobs. They teach me how to do jobs, and I do their jobs. It's called Ian do and Odd Guy doing odd jobs.

[Kalila]

Can I pitch you a couple jobs?

[Jenna]

I would love that. I'm having the time of my life. I just cut hair in Rochester, New York. I learned how to tattoo in Wisconsin.

[Ian]

Wait, we're literally the same person.

[Jenna]

I'm terrible, but I'll do it.

[Kalila]

Okay. I got a couple things.

[Ian]

Wait, I really. Yes to everything too. And I have the most random side jobs in the world.

[Jenna]

It's the best. I'm going on tour with my friend's band. I'm gonna be a roadie. I'm in Addison July 18th to 20th and Chicago, Illinois, August 14th to 16th at Zany's.

[Kalila]

Amazing. Thank you guys so much. We love you. Thanks for sticking around. That was a wild ride.

[Esther]

See you guys next.

[Jenna]

That was. It's a wild ride when you're being Ian Every Wednesday on YouTube. That was really fun. Thank you.

[Ian]

I hope this doesn't smell too much like pussy.

[Jenna]

And I would be blessed.