Rick Glassman & Esther Finally Have it out while Khalyla & Brent Morin Trauma Bond

Summary

Trash Tuesday Episode Summary: "Rick Glassman & Esther Finally Have it out while Khalyla & Brent Morin Trauma Bond"

Release Date: March 18, 2025

In this emotionally charged and candid episode of Trash Tuesday, hosts Esther Povitsky and Khalyla Kuhn, alongside guest Brent Morin and recurring contributor Rick Glassman, delve deep into the complexities of personal relationships, communication dynamics, and trauma bonding. The conversation oscillates between humor and heartfelt revelations, offering listeners a raw glimpse into the hosts' personal lives and their navigations through intimate connections.

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1. Understanding Pop Psychology Terms

The episode opens with a humorous attempt to define popular psychological terms like gaslighting, holding space, and manifesting. The hosts engage in a playful yet insightful exercise to break down these concepts, often misinterpreting them before reaching a clearer understanding.

• Kalila initiates the discussion: "Do you think that Alvin and Donut should be boyfriend and girlfriend?" (00:30)
• Brent Morin clarifies the term "holding space": "Holding space is not making it about you at all. So when someone comes to you with their issues, their problems, it's all about them." (06:26)

2. Navigating Personal Relationships and Communication

A significant portion of the episode focuses on the challenges inherent in personal relationships, particularly around communication styles and emotional availability.

• Esther shares her struggles with expressing her true self in relationships: "I want to get to know you, have heart-to-heart conversations... I always wondered, why are they mad at me?" (15:26)

• Rick responds with self-reflection: "Sometimes you edit out the fun stuff at the beginning... because they're trying something new." (07:07)

3. Trauma Bonding and Emotional Dynamics

The conversation shifts towards trauma bonding—a deep emotional attachment formed through shared traumas or intense interactions. The dynamics between Esther, Khalyla, and Brent underscore the complexities of such bonds.

• Brent expresses his feelings of being misunderstood: "I have trouble telling you that because I feel like you'll just say something meaner back." (31:07)

• Rick apologizes for his insensitive remarks: "First, I'm sorry that me doing those things made you feel that way... I will say the rules are not something that I came into our relationship with, rather something that we calibrated together." (33:53)

4. Sharing Personal Anecdotes and Experiences

The hosts and guests share profound personal stories that have shaped their perspectives on relationships and self-awareness.

• Esther recounts a traumatic childhood experience: "In third grade, this new girl comes on our bus... a month later, her whole family was murdered." (69:03)

• Brent shares a humorous yet unsettling story about his sister twisting her ankles at a party, highlighting unexpected life events: "At the party... the lady was furiously masturbating... missed a step and twisted both her ankles." (37:52)

5. Podcast Dynamics and Humor Style

A recurring theme is the tension between humor and sensitivity within the podcast's dynamic. The interplay between Esther, Kalila, Rick, and Brent reveals underlying tensions about joke boundaries and mutual respect.

• Kalila expresses feeling "punched down" when jokes target her podcast’s performance: "When you call me ugly... it's almost like if Scarlett Johansson walked in the room and was like, Esther, you're ugly..." (43:11)

• Rick acknowledges the misunderstanding: "I didn’t think of it as lesser than... I’m just throwing jokes." (43:22)

6. Reflections on Relationships and Personal Growth

Towards the episode's conclusion, the participants reflect on their desires for meaningful relationships and the importance of personal growth and self-awareness.

• Brent emphasizes the value of kindness and reliability over superficial traits: "The best decision I ever made was to do away with my criteria... they were so much more than that." (88:43)

• Esther advocates for self-responsibility and introspection: "Have mirror moments with yourself... everything is your fault in some way." (76:00)

• Kalila shares her journey towards understanding her own relationship desires: "I didn’t know I wanted kids. I didn’t know I wanted a baby." (73:21)

7. Closing Thoughts and Future Plans

The episode wraps up with discussions about future projects, including upcoming live shows and personal endeavors, reinforcing the bonds between the hosts and guests.

• Rick announces his upcoming live shows: "I'm going on tour... Check out Punchup Live Rick Glassman to find out when I'll be in your city." (103:29)

• Kalila expresses enthusiasm for upcoming collaborations: "I'd love to have both of you join my shows." (103:35)

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Notable Quotes

• Esther Povitsky [15:26]: "I always wondered, why are they mad at me? Because I've told them I didn't want more and that this is over."

• Brent Morin [31:07]: "I think that here's where I have trouble in life a lot, and I hope you'll give me, like, maybe 30 seconds to finish this thought without saying, wrap it up or let's get it over with."

• Rick Glassman [33:53]: "First, I'm sorry that me doing those things made you feel that way. And I'm sorry that the experience that you've had with me left you not feeling safe to tell me how you feel."

• Kalila [73:21]: "I didn’t know I wanted kids. I didn’t know I wanted a baby."

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Conclusion

This episode of Trash Tuesday masterfully balances humor with deep emotional discourse, allowing listeners to engage with the hosts' vulnerabilities and personal growth journeys. Through shared experiences and honest conversations, Esther, Khalyla, Brent, and Rick navigate the intricate landscape of relationships, emphasizing the importance of self-awareness, mutual respect, and authentic connection.

For more engaging discussions and wild takes, tune in every Tuesday to Trash Tuesday!

Transcript

[Esther Povitsky]

I'm this weird part of my life. I really am.

[Rick Glassman]

Bill Burr, Drop Dead Years, a hilarious stand up special is now streaming on Hulu.

[Esther Povitsky]

I am getting along with my wife better than I ever have.

[Rick Glassman]

All you have to do is agree.

[Esther Povitsky]

To something that you would never do. Farmer's Market. Oh, boy, would I.

[Rick Glassman]

My buddy dies, I show up to.

[Esther Povitsky]

The funeral, open casket.

[Rick Glassman]

You told me he was dead. I believed you. Bill Burr, Drop Dead Years is now streaming on Hulu.

[Kalila]

Do you think that Alvin and Donut should be boyfriend and girlfriend?

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah, I do.

[Kalila]

You do?

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah. Alvin's been wanting a girlfriend. Maybe I'm projecting. Are we recording?

[Esther Povitsky]

Yes, always be recorded.

[Rick Glassman]

Hey, who's that? Alvin or Donut?

[Kalila]

That was Donut being nasty.

[Rick Glassman]

You know, you hang around Esther long.

[Kalila]

Enough, she's definitely a little bit. Don't take it personally, Alvin. She does it to all of us.

[Rick Glassman]

All right, let's get this over with, huh? Hey, do you use those kind of things, like at the beginning of the episode, those type of jokes like what I just said? Or should I say it again?

[Brent Morin]

You should say it again.

[Rick Glassman]

Really?

[Brent Morin]

I'm so glad you wr.

[Kalila]

Why would you say it again where we got it?

[Rick Glassman]

Because sometimes you edit out the fun stuff at the beginning.

[Kalila]

What are you talking about?

[Brent Morin]

Look at the solidarity with the sunglasses.

[Rick Glassman]

Wow.

[Kalila]

What is this?

[Esther Povitsky]

I'm doing dramas now, so I gotta.

[Kalila]

Be a little bit.

[Esther Povitsky]

A little bit low key. I'm hard to break open.

[Kalila]

Rick, what's with you and the sunglasses?

[Rick Glassman]

Everyone's doing it, okay?

[Kalila]

I'm not.

[Rick Glassman]

Well, you have been my influence of how to dress and be for a while, but I'm thinking I'm going to lean more into Kalila style.

[Brent Morin]

Yay. Okay. Mine is out of medical necessity, though.

[Rick Glassman]

Most things I do are as well. Let's get this over with.

[Kalila]

Rick, I feel like you're in a bad mood.

[Rick Glassman]

Not at all.

[Brent Morin]

I don't think so. Look at the pants he's wearing. Festive.

[Kalila]

But sometimes you overcompensate when you're in a bad mood with your like.

[Rick Glassman]

So you must always be in a good mood. Brent doesn't get it, but yeah.

[Esther Povitsky]

Compensation.

[Kalila]

Chicago. I am doing stand up this weekend. Friday, March 21st and 22nd. That's right, this weekend in Chicago at the Den theater. You can get tickets at the link below. I can't wait to return to my favorite city in the world and do stand up for you guys. Kalila, we have a Patreon and we are sharing so much there. If you haven't joined yet, you can go to patreon.com Trash Tuesday podcast if.

[Brent Morin]

You thought we were unhinged.

[Kalila]

Oh, here. The tears.

[Brent Morin]

Oh, well, more than that. It gets extra unhinged on Patreon.

[Kalila]

There's like crying almost every week and you get new bonus content every single week. We are taking our Patreon so seriously. And if you haven't joined yet, you can log on right now. You'll get access to like 7 new bonus episodes that you haven't seen yet of this podcast of us being crazy together and crying. And also we want to shout out to our golden sluggies. Thank you so much for your support. Brandon Thomas and Chrysanta, we love you guys. Check out our patreon right now. Patreon.com Trash Tuesday podcast okay, so welcome back to Trash Tuesday today.

[Rick Glassman]

What can I see? Can I see what I look like in sunglasses?

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah. And could we minimize me?

[Kalila]

I would love to be able to see your guys pretty eyes.

[Rick Glassman]

I have a.

[Esther Povitsky]

You mean mine.

[Kalila]

You're making fun of Kyla's bell's palsy.

[Brent Morin]

No, Insensitive.

[Kalila]

Oh, wait. Yeah, you do look bad. Okay. What was that?

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah, those are better.

[Kalila]

Oh, do you not have your regular person glasses?

[Rick Glassman]

These are prescription and I have prescription indoor glasses.

[Kalila]

Okay.

[Rick Glassman]

I'm going to wait until things kind of cool down a little bit.

[Kalila]

Okay. You're feeling heated? Is it cause of how pretty I look?

[Rick Glassman]

You do look really good.

[Esther Povitsky]

You do look really nice tonight. You do. You crop topped it on purpose.

[Brent Morin]

Hasn't she accidentally gotten hotter as a mom?

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brent Morin]

I don't know how it happened.

[Rick Glassman]

All she had to do was have a baby and then she sucked all the.

[Esther Povitsky]

She, she, she just sucked it all up. Yeah, right to where you always wanted.

[Kalila]

I'm fighting to get back. Wait, so today we have a first time guest. He's a hilarious comedian. He has hilarious specials.

[Rick Glassman]

Are you reading this?

[Kalila]

Yeah, I'm reading it. It's in the lens. You don't see the prompter?

[Rick Glassman]

No.

[Esther Povitsky]

Did you just speak from the heart? I need this today.

[Kalila]

He's been my friend for 15 years. We've done standup together. He's so funny. He's also really handsome. And whenever I text him, he doesn't respond. And that's something that I'm very used to. Please give it up for Brent Morin.

[Rick Glassman]

Give it up Podcasts like it's a live show.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

And then there's Rick. Welcome back.

[Rick Glassman]

Thanks. Thanks for having me. Let's get this over with.

[Kalila]

It's the eighth time you've said it. Is that your new half Jewish, half regular?

[Rick Glassman]

What?

[Kalila]

Is that your new half Jewish? Your new opener?

[Rick Glassman]

I don't know, man. Let's get this over with, you know?

[Kalila]

Yeah. What's wrong with you today?

[Rick Glassman]

I don't think anything. Really? I. I don't think anything. I know that. That you liked a gaslight.

[Kalila]

Oh, no. How am I gaslighting?

[Esther Povitsky]

You know, I would think there's something wrong with you.

[Rick Glassman]

What's wrong with you?

[Esther Povitsky]

I'm just saying, on Esther's side, you. You say, let's get it over with that many times. If I didn't know you, I'd go, this guy.

[Rick Glassman]

Remember I said that? I said that.

[Esther Povitsky]

So cool.

[Rick Glassman]

When we got in the car.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah. Oh, you did. You said it's a little.

[Rick Glassman]

Today's joke.

[Kalila]

Okay, then. That's all you have to say?

[Rick Glassman]

Let's just get this.

[Esther Povitsky]

But he's trying something new.

[Kalila]

Do you feel actually like you were gaslighting me?

[Rick Glassman]

I don't know.

[Esther Povitsky]

I still don't know what gaslighting is.

[Kalila]

I don't think Rick does either.

[Esther Povitsky]

This is why my career has taken a dip, because I don't know any of these things.

[Rick Glassman]

You think if you knew what gaslighting was.

[Esther Povitsky]

I think if I knew how to hashtag properly, maybe I could play a goddamn theater.

[Kalila]

That's done now.

[Brent Morin]

Wait, we're done with hashtags?

[Rick Glassman]

It's all QR code.

[Brent Morin]

Let's do pop psychology terms. Okay. Gaslight. Guess what it means.

[Esther Povitsky]

Like poking a bear.

[Brent Morin]

What does poking a bear mean?

[Esther Povitsky]

See, that's the world I live in. You know, it's like, you know, my brother would poke the bear. It's just like, come on, come on. And then finally you blow up.

[Brent Morin]

Oh, okay.

[Esther Povitsky]

Is that close?

[Brent Morin]

No, not at all. Okay, what about holding space?

[Esther Povitsky]

Holding space? Isn't that, like. Give me some time to think about this.

[Kalila]

No, it's funny because, like, that's a. That definitely is a good tool, giving someone time to think about it. But it's not holding space.

[Esther Povitsky]

What's holding space?

[Brent Morin]

Holding space is not making it about you at all. So when someone comes, I'm gone? No, when someone comes to you with their issues, their problems, it's. It's all about them. You're holding space. You're holding their feelings. You're not.

[Esther Povitsky]

Oh, like I'm being patient.

[Brent Morin]

To a patient, sure. Okay.

[Rick Glassman]

What other words, in terms of Brent will understand.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

You want Sour Patch Kids?

[Esther Povitsky]

Okay, now they got me.

[Rick Glassman]

And we're in a venue where you're not allowed to eat, so we So I then say, hey, Brent and I are going to step outside for something. We go outside and give you time to eat Sour Patch Kids.

[Esther Povitsky]

And that's you holding space. Me holding space?

[Rick Glassman]

That's. That's you having. It's me holding space for me.

[Esther Povitsky]

Laughing at me. So you're holding space. He needs to get this out. It's like venting.

[Rick Glassman]

It's exactly like venting. Hey, you're feeling. You're feeling a certain way. You know what? Feel that way. I accept you.

[Brent Morin]

Exactly. Without Rick saying, I, too, want Sour.

[Kalila]

Patch Kids or saying like, I don't think you should have those Sour Patch Kids, you're making a bad choice. We should be in church right now, Right?

[Esther Povitsky]

Gaslighting.

[Kalila]

No.

[Esther Povitsky]

No.

[Brent Morin]

Okay, getting closer, getting closer, getting closer. Now, what other pop psychology terms are there?

[Kalila]

Oh, yeah. What about manifesting?

[Esther Povitsky]

Manifesting?

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Esther Povitsky]

Like a vision board.

[Brent Morin]

That's easy. Yeah. All right.

[Rick Glassman]

Don't ask a question.

[Brent Morin]

You're right. You're right.

[Rick Glassman]

And then say, it's easy. Brent, let's go get some Sour Patch Kids.

[Esther Povitsky]

Okay. We're gonna go hold some space.

[Brent Morin]

I wasn't holding space for you at.

[Esther Povitsky]

All, and you gaslit me.

[Kalila]

It would actually be really cool if you were at, like, out at a. The comedy club, and you're like, let's go hold space.

[Esther Povitsky]

Let's go hold space.

[Kalila]

If I saw two men, like, saying that to each other, I'd be like, okay, I want to follow them. I want to know what's going on.

[Rick Glassman]

Whenever I talk to you about that kind of stuff, you're like, why are you such a loser?

[Kalila]

Yeah, well, because you're like, my hormones are off, and I just have never heard a guy say that. I. I love it. I know, but it's surprising.

[Esther Povitsky]

He's an open box of love and enjoyment mixed with bitter crumbliness of self doubt.

[Kalila]

I love.

[Esther Povitsky]

Topped with an obscene amount of confidence.

[Kalila]

I love Brent. I need.

[Esther Povitsky]

That's why he's one of my favorite people. Legally, dull moment.

[Kalila]

I don't want to be in a room with you unless Brent is there moving forward.

[Rick Glassman]

You asked if I wanted to do this podcast with Brent. I said yes. You said, Brent didn't get back to me. Will you still do it? I thought you were bait and switching me. That.

[Esther Povitsky]

That was my fault.

[Rick Glassman]

You were trying to. Oh, Rick will do it if Brent does it. Cause I've been asking for Brent to do it for a while, and I was just like, maybe if you're here, Rick, I just don't think the numbers will Be good with just Brent. And I'm.

[Esther Povitsky]

I don't even know. Holding space.

[Brent Morin]

Wait, can I tell you something really funny that just happened right now? I asked production. I looked over, I was like, hey, give me more pop psychology terms. Do you know what she just whispered to me?

[Esther Povitsky]

What?

[Brent Morin]

Riz.

[Esther Povitsky]

You want to know why I know what Riz is? The only reason is because I watched a clip with that kid Kai Sinait. So net. Yeah. And I guess he came up with it or something on a live stream. And that's the only reason I watched a Jimmy Fallon clip. I'm 59.

[Brent Morin]

I really love, like, your golf, dad. Energy golf and your wisdom.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah. This is my aunt's second husband's jacket. Not a lie, is it? He was a professional golfer. She got around? No, she's divorced a lot.

[Kalila]

Oh, and she just keeps the stuff and gives it to you?

[Esther Povitsky]

I don't know. Actually, I found it. My dad had it.

[Rick Glassman]

A lot of Brent's clothes come from people in his family getting divorced.

[Kalila]

Oh, okay.

[Rick Glassman]

Who's nice?

[Esther Povitsky]

These boots? Shia labeoufs.

[Kalila]

I still have.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah. We were holding space.

[Kalila]

A bra that was from Benji's brother's. Like a girl that he hooked up with that left it at their house. I still wear that.

[Rick Glassman]

The one in. In Malibu.

[Kalila]

No, the house in the Sunset Plaza.

[Rick Glassman]

Remember that? I thought we went to that one in Malibu once.

[Kalila]

No, that was at Sunset Plaza. You've. I don't.

[Rick Glassman]

You, me and Sandy, years ago, went to Benji's place, and I thought there was a bra.

[Kalila]

It wasn't Malibu, it was Sunset Plaza.

[Brent Morin]

Wait. This is an interesting thing. So you.

[Rick Glassman]

Oh, I forgot you were here. Sorry. Go ahead.

[Brent Morin]

You scared me back.

[Rick Glassman]

Sorry.

[Esther Povitsky]

Oh, Richard.

[Kalila]

Richard.

[Brent Morin]

When I moved in with Bobby, there were clothes from his ex. With Bobby? Yes, Lee. With Robert Lee, there were clothes from his ex. And we just happened to be the same size and height. And I liked what I saw. A lot of vintage stuff. And I think I still have some of her stuff. Is that evil?

[Esther Povitsky]

No, she didn't ask for it back.

[Rick Glassman]

I mean, it's the opposite of fast fashion. I'm for it.

[Brent Morin]

Okay, good. I mean, we are friends. Yeah.

[Kalila]

Now, you very much look like you're dressed in fast. Fast fashion. Today? Those days.

[Esther Povitsky]

I know.

[Rick Glassman]

Okay.

[Esther Povitsky]

I know. I feel like he's about to have lunch.

[Kalila]

Oh, no.

[Esther Povitsky]

Tyler, the creator. After this.

[Kalila]

But do you think. Do you. Do you feel like what Brent said, how he described you, was accurate?

[Rick Glassman]

Crumbles of neuroses with a lot of confidence. Yeah. Oh, my bio.

[Esther Povitsky]

That's see, but that's your neuroses. Because I also said open and loving. Oh.

[Rick Glassman]

I wasn't feeling bad about what you said.

[Esther Povitsky]

Oh, we're in a fight.

[Rick Glassman]

No, not at all.

[Esther Povitsky]

You gaslit me.

[Rick Glassman]

I'm so sorry.

[Kalila]

Okay, wait. Love bombing. Don't look at the screen.

[Esther Povitsky]

Love bombing.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

He goes when you come all over a woman's chest, Right? I'm sorry, Esther tits. Jesus Christ.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah, but you have to go when you do it.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah. We go. It's right before you come, you go.

[Esther Povitsky]

All right.

[Rick Glassman]

Love bombing.

[Esther Povitsky]

I'm really gonna try love bombing.

[Rick Glassman]

I just want to cut to a. Hold on a second. I just want to get to a montage of all this stuff you talk about. About. Oh, I want everybody to eat me out after I've been on a plane and all this bullshit. And then you go, coming on tits.

[Kalila]

And you go, oh, oh, yes, I do have self.

[Rick Glassman]

Which, by the way, was me love bombing on you.

[Kalila]

Yeah. We've discovered this. I have, like, a selective thing with being grossed out by people, and you're on the list.

[Rick Glassman]

Okay, well, I'm glad I made the list.

[Brent Morin]

Well.

[Rick Glassman]

Oh, fuck. Don't sneak up on me like that.

[Brent Morin]

Have I really gone downhill? Is my face a jump scare these days?

[Esther Povitsky]

No.

[Rick Glassman]

I'm so sorry. That's not the joke I was trying to make.

[Brent Morin]

That's a joke. I'm receiving the joke.

[Esther Povitsky]

He was. I skipped Ricky. What he's trying to make is that he forgot you were here.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah, just a joke of me. The joke is more about me being easily startled than you being very forgettable. One more time. Kalila Doobie.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah. Ew. Those are the lines that I don't cross. Do you? You're a mother.

[Kalila]

Thank you.

[Esther Povitsky]

But I could love bomb you if you want. Okay.

[Kalila]

And what would that be?

[Esther Povitsky]

I don't know. I figured we could hold some space, gaslight each other, and then I'll love bomb the shit out of you. And then you. Guess what? You'll leave with a little bit more Riz. Not bad. See? Not bad. Okay. Love bombing, to me is just a girl that's fucking going nuts to me about how she's in love after a first date.

[Rick Glassman]

Why can't it be a guy?

[Esther Povitsky]

Okay. A man is in love with me.

[Brent Morin]

Yes, that's exactly it, actually.

[Esther Povitsky]

Really?

[Rick Glassman]

I'll take it from here. I'll take it from here.

[Brent Morin]

A girl or a guy?

[Rick Glassman]

It's a person, whether they're consciously doing it or not, manipulating another person into believing that they feel strong affection for Them by going by presenting themself as something that isn't who they really are, an unsustainable version of themselves. So, for example, if you're somebody who's always giving gifts all the time, and you give a lot of gifts up top, it might seem like love bombing, but that's maybe who you are. But traditionally, you pump the brakes. Yeah. Chill out a little bit.

[Esther Povitsky]

Okay.

[Rick Glassman]

Show up authentically from the beginning. And if. Show affection, show appreciation. You know what, knew you were there.

[Esther Povitsky]

So it'd be like I meet a girl and I come off like, I wear tux all the time, but underneath that after a few months is a.

[Rick Glassman]

Sweatsuit that's more about, like you're buying her nice things and. Or you're inviting her places that are very exclusive or introducing her to your family very early or something that after.

[Esther Povitsky]

So moving too quick.

[Rick Glassman]

Yes.

[Brent Morin]

With an insincere way. Because really with the intention of getting, like, bait them very quickly. And usually this is a tactic of narcissists because you bait them in and then they discard you.

[Esther Povitsky]

Okay, so like manipulating a pussy a lot of times.

[Brent Morin]

Yeah. People usually love bombing to get to.

[Kalila]

The just lady to get to sex.

[Brent Morin]

And then eventually discard the person getting.

[Rick Glassman]

Them to like you as opposed to you showing how much you like them.

[Esther Povitsky]

Oh, all right.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Esther Povitsky]

I run into this. This problem with dating, especially in my 20s, where I don't do that, treat them like dirt, stick to you like mud thing. I'm just me. I listen, I want to know about them, I support what they want to do, but I'm very upfront. Like, I'm not looking for a relationship just because I say I don't want more. The energy I give off pillow talk, you know, telling them they look pretty instead of hot. You know, actually getting to know their lives, you know, having heart to heart conversations. I just learned they maybe don't tell other people that. And so I always wondered, why are they mad at me? Because I've. I told them I didn't want more and that this is over because your.

[Brent Morin]

Words are not aligning with your actions. That's.

[Rick Glassman]

That's.

[Brent Morin]

That's where it gets a little confusing.

[Esther Povitsky]

And that's where you fall into him as a person. I didn't want to have small talk. I want to get to know you. I want to. Oh, you were depressed. This happened with you and your childhood, this and this. That's just who I am. So. But I get, I get it. When I listen to this podcast with this doctor, I realized, okay, that explains a lot. Because what would happen with these girls is they would get mad at me, and then, like, three months later, you know, they apologize to me being like, you know what? You said you didn't want more, you didn't want this, you didn't want that. I should have known that. But then I'm apologizing like, well, I'm. But I'm not trying to love bomb you.

[Brent Morin]

I think what you have to.

[Esther Povitsky]

It's too personal.

[Brent Morin]

Not at all.

[Kalila]

It's actually so interesting to hear from.

[Brent Morin]

That I would be pretty livid. Livid with both you and myself in that situation. Because it's like, okay, you're telling me up front, but then you're showing me different. So I'm always going to believe there's, like, a morsel of hope there, that maybe you're changing your mind. Maybe we're falling into a deeper space together. I don't know.

[Esther Povitsky]

But, yeah, maybe you thought that in the beginning, but you know what? You just did.

[Brent Morin]

But I would say, like, moving forward. If you have no intention of really getting with a person down the road, don't show them that, like, level of more like this.

[Esther Povitsky]

What up?

[Rick Glassman]

Not everybody in this situation, perhaps the women that you're dating feels comfortable or knows how to set boundaries for themselves. And though that's not your responsibility, to recognize that in another person is like, hey, this is how I'm feeling. And it would be nice for. Not for you in particular, but for people to recognize when other people haven't set boundaries to say, oh, maybe this isn't a safe space for us to grow. Even if it were to turn out to be something nice, you want. You also want to be with somebody who's able to set boundaries.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah. And I got that.

[Brent Morin]

You know, has there ever been a situation where she's been like.

[Rick Glassman]

Make sure you get the camera switches right in post.

[Brent Morin]

You're really upset you didn't see yourself before.

[Esther Povitsky]

I'm so happy. I can't see this.

[Brent Morin]

Has there ever been a situation where the girl's been like, hey, like, called you out on it. It's like, you say you don't want a relationship, but we're acting. You're acting like you want to be in this.

[Esther Povitsky]

Like, only when I actually got in a real relationship because I said I wasn't looking for one. But I fell hard and I fell in love right away. I was hopeless romantic who thought, I'm going to meet the one and then I'll be ready. And I only learned this because when I was posting me and my girlfriend. A lot of these girls started messaging her and being like, saying, just so you know, I hooked up with him. And just so you know, back in the day, we did this and blah, blah, blah, like, trying to sabotage my relationship. And some girls actually tried to make friends with my girlfriend behind my back for no reason. And I'd go to the Comedy Store, and they'd be like, hey, Brent, do you know so and so. And I'm like, how did you meet her? She's like, oh, we just got to talk. And we met on a hike, you know, and then they would go and be friends. And he goes, I got to tell you something. I used to hook up with Brent. So now I'm in a fight about this girl, but put me in such a weird position. And that's. And then those were some of the girls who apologized after we broke up. Like, sorry I tried to ruin it for you. It's just, I didn't. I didn't know why her and not me.

[Brent Morin]

Oh, whoa.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah.

[Brent Morin]

Well, that's interesting. That's only ever happened to me once. I. I dated Bobby, and there was this girl who was really adamant about, like, building this friendship with me. And then we became friends.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah.

[Brent Morin]

Only to find out later on, not through her, though, but through Bobby's, like, you know, we used to.

[Rick Glassman]

Is that the girl whose clothes you're wearing?

[Brent Morin]

No, that was his real ex, who I'm actually friends with now, which is a little bit weird to say, but we're really, like, good friends.

[Rick Glassman]

You guys want to start doing some jokes or something? Yeah.

[Brent Morin]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

The fuck is this?

[Kalila]

We're having a conversation.

[Esther Povitsky]

Please don't gaslight me, all right? I'm love bombing right now.

[Brent Morin]

Rick, where are you at with love?

[Esther Povitsky]

Is that something we fucking, Rick? We both are. Let's just get it over with and get together, honestly.

[Rick Glassman]

And I. And I. Oh, here it comes. If I were gay instead of just bi, but too scared to act on it, I would not be attracted to you. Why not physically.

[Brent Morin]

Oh, so true.

[Rick Glassman]

Attracted to you and. No, no, no, no, no. We. We're just. We're just too different. We're just too different.

[Kalila]

That's what makes a good couple.

[Esther Povitsky]

I know.

[Rick Glassman]

No, no, no. I didn't say we're different.

[Esther Povitsky]

We used to. Remember when we were neighbors and I would go out and do shows and you would tape this is Us for us or the Voice, and then we'd sit down till 3am and watch our programs?

[Rick Glassman]

I do.

[Esther Povitsky]

Sometimes I'd sleep over on the couch. You know, we'd take a walk, get some coffee.

[Rick Glassman]

We put up the montage of all the time.

[Esther Povitsky]

We'd argue. We had tears.

[Brent Morin]

Well, you know, there is.

[Rick Glassman]

I have hundreds of pictures of Brent sleeping on my couch. Each one from a different day.

[Brent Morin]

I believe this. And because there is this running theory that men don't actually. If it wasn't for pussy, you guys would be in relationships.

[Kalila]

Oh, yeah. That's what my. That's. Dave says that all the time.

[Brent Morin]

It's like, you guys actually just.

[Kalila]

Why he doesn't say that?

[Rick Glassman]

And why does he tell you he's with it?

[Kalila]

Whenever him and his best friend are together, they're just like, oh, man. Like, I wish.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah. What you're talking about is intimacy. And intimacy doesn't have to be romantic, but it is a beautiful. One sec. Go ahead, Brent.

[Esther Povitsky]

This might be a different thing happening here.

[Kalila]

And then cuddle.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah, you just. Right after coitus, all of a sudden, he's just going, oh, man. Mark, right? You know, not for nothing, but if I was gay, I would totally be with him.

[Brent Morin]

Do you find yourself enjoying the company of Brent more than any of the girls you've been with?

[Kalila]

Okay, I feel like I can't see your eyes. And I. It's like, I feel like I'm missing more of your jokes when you have your.

[Rick Glassman]

I haven't been making any. And also, I don't think you've ever not missed one of my jokes.

[Esther Povitsky]

Oh, I don't know. Yours are real thinkers. You gotta really.

[Kalila]

There's that beautiful man. Oh, my goodness.

[Esther Povitsky]

Wow. She would look awesome. Now. This is Riz.

[Brent Morin]

Reminder. I'm still here. Didn't want to scare you, but I am still here.

[Kalila]

Okay, how's everyone's inner child feeling right now?

[Brent Morin]

Oh, great question, Esther.

[Rick Glassman]

My inner child is front and center. I'm looking for the adult I've been talking to. Go ahead, Brent.

[Esther Povitsky]

No, I. I was pointing an agreement.

[Rick Glassman]

I've. I've been having so many conversations with him. Excuse me. Them.

[Brent Morin]

Oh, multiple.

[Rick Glassman]

Yes, there is pre Glasses Rick and Glasses Rick.

[Brent Morin]

What are you saying to pre glasses?

[Kalila]

Let's start with pre glasses, Glass boy and glass man.

[Rick Glassman]

Just put your socks on. It doesn't matter how it feels. Let's go.

[Brent Morin]

Okay, great.

[Rick Glassman]

Nice, difficult advice, but because once you. Is that Esther and me in the bottom? Is that hot Esther and hot me at the bottom?

[Esther Povitsky]

Oh, I haven't seen that movie.

[Brent Morin]

And NORA, they spent 6 million to make the movie and 18 million, apparently.

[Esther Povitsky]

To promote it for a drugstore.

[Rick Glassman]

June Didn't. Wasn't the post production budget to fix you up, like, more expensive than the whole movie?

[Kalila]

Yeah, it was. They had to. Yeah, they had to fix me.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

I had a lot of gas and they had to Degas me.

[Esther Povitsky]

Really?

[Kalila]

Yeah. Have you ever had that?

[Esther Povitsky]

I don't know if this is a joke or if you just.

[Kalila]

That is the rudest thing. That's rude.

[Esther Povitsky]

What he just said was rude.

[Rick Glassman]

We have a dynamic.

[Kalila]

I see it's off.

[Esther Povitsky]

What would have been rude is I go, okay, I see it. That would have been rude.

[Brent Morin]

Really was like, I was really interested in pre Glasses Rick.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah. Sometimes when I'm catching myself and my OCD is getting pretty bad, I say, hey, you've been here for a long time and it's fine. So you could go through the route, you could go through the bullshit for four or five more minutes or just get anxious for a minute, don't do it, move on. I've been doing that. He's helped me a whole bunch.

[Esther Povitsky]

Alvin.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah.

[Brent Morin]

Dogs will heal you.

[Esther Povitsky]

It's a natural Xanax right there.

[Rick Glassman]

And then when I talk to kid Rick, post glasses when he's a little bit older, it's more a parenting thing where I. Cause adult Rick and kid Rick both don't want to do the thing, whatever the thing might be.

[Kalila]

What's an example for adult Rick?

[Rick Glassman]

The easiest one where this became conscious that I was, like, using this as.

[Kalila]

A tool is where's the jokes?

[Rick Glassman]

You said you guys didn't want them.

[Kalila]

You said you did want them.

[Rick Glassman]

I did. But you guys, you know, you guys like what your podcast has become. So I'm just, you know, I'm trying not to control everything. That's me talking to kid Ricky.

[Esther Povitsky]

So this is. This is, you know, classy Glassics. Do it again.

[Kalila]

Take it back.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah, I took the sunglasses off. Go ahead, Brent.

[Esther Povitsky]

Are you a go ahead guy or an action guy? I need to know who I'm.

[Rick Glassman]

Cut. We didn't cut.

[Esther Povitsky]

Oh, you didn't cut.

[Rick Glassman]

No, keep it going.

[Esther Povitsky]

This is classic Glasses Rick. No, this is one more time.

[Rick Glassman]

Here we go. Do a few.

[Kalila]

What do you. Whenever you're ready, you take it. We'll wait.

[Esther Povitsky]

No, Esther adding words.

[Rick Glassman]

Esther. Right, right. Say, where are the jokes? I got you.

[Kalila]

Oh, yeah. Okay.

[Esther Povitsky]

Leave me in, please.

[Kalila]

Where are the jokes?

[Rick Glassman]

You had your palms up.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yep.

[Kalila]

Well, we'll use my cut from the way.

[Rick Glassman]

But if we use. If we're using a two shot, I.

[Esther Povitsky]

Don'T want to give you a line reading as another actor on set.

[Rick Glassman]

But I'll give it.

[Brent Morin]

His acting is extended all over you.

[Esther Povitsky]

Extended. And you yelled it. And I need to react.

[Kalila]

I need you to lead me in.

[Rick Glassman]

Sure.

[Esther Povitsky]

Okay, so you lead in now where? 2 million over budget.

[Rick Glassman]

When I first became conscious. Conscious of this was when, like, I'm staying up late at night and it's time to go to bed and how much. How much time do you want me to do?

[Kalila]

Oh, my God.

[Brent Morin]

I fell asleep.

[Kalila]

I fell asleep. I'm so sorry.

[Rick Glassman]

It's okay. This is why you aren't acting anymore.

[Kalila]

Are you on a show right now?

[Brent Morin]

No, I'm not.

[Kalila]

Are you projecting onto me?

[Rick Glassman]

No.

[Esther Povitsky]

I know projecting.

[Kalila]

What is it?

[Esther Povitsky]

It's where you just. You just project, I guess.

[Kalila]

Say it loud. Yeah, that's like a theater version of.

[Esther Povitsky]

Projecting is like me. Like, God, you're so insecure and you can never find love. And you. You know what? To be honest, you're gaining some weight. But in reality, I can't find love. Right.

[Kalila]

That's.

[Esther Povitsky]

That's projecting.

[Rick Glassman]

Yes.

[Esther Povitsky]

All right.

[Kalila]

And we all kind of do it all the time, you'll notice.

[Esther Povitsky]

Oh, yeah, we all do.

[Rick Glassman]

Well, it's great to check in with yourself when you're doing it too. Are you good at catching yourself when you're projecting?

[Kalila]

Yeah. Are you good at catching yourself when projecting?

[Rick Glassman]

I am trying and I think so. I'm better than I used to be. And that's the only person I could compare myself to.

[Esther Povitsky]

This is like two genius fourth graders at recess. Are you gonna catch it yourself?

[Rick Glassman]

Spell recess.

[Esther Povitsky]

Are you good at catching yourself projecting?

[Rick Glassman]

Spell recess. Really try.

[Esther Povitsky]

Really try.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah.

[Esther Povitsky]

R, E, C, C, E, S, S. Is that right?

[Rick Glassman]

Is it 1C or 2?

[Esther Povitsky]

No, I'm not done.

[Rick Glassman]

There's your jokes.

[Esther Povitsky]

Accent over the last S. Oh, my God. Finally a cuddle buddy.

[Kalila]

Rick, why don't. Let's get vulnerable. What's going on?

[Esther Povitsky]

Well, he was. He was doing inner child stuff. I actually found that pretty fascinating. Let's.

[Kalila]

Let's talk about present day.

[Rick Glassman]

You're. And I mean this in a nice way. I don't think you get Botox. Right.

[Kalila]

No.

[Rick Glassman]

Right. So I want to let you know that when you. When you are feigning sincerity. Excuse me, being sincere. What's the difference with this slut jerk. You see how her eyebrows are raising right now? That's cause she's having a real emotion. A lot of times when she says, hey, why don't you do that? There's no thoughts. There's no raising of eyebrows. There's no squinting and I could tell that you're being disingenuous. So you weren't asking to hear about me. You were trying to set something up for fun. And I'm not upset about this, but I want you to know I don't read you like a book because I don't know how to read. But I read you like a person that I've studied. And let me tell you something. She ain't pretty. We'll be right back with a word from Helixley.

[Kalila]

Wait.

[Brent Morin]

This is so interesting.

[Esther Povitsky]

Projecting.

[Brent Morin]

I always thought you were someone that had trouble reading.

[Rick Glassman]

So good at it.

[Brent Morin]

Social cues.

[Kalila]

I usually the biggest compliment because I'm literally trying to do less facial expressions because my mom doesn't do them. And that's why she looks good for her age. So thank you.

[Rick Glassman]

But don't you think your mom is. And I'm sorry for saying this. Cold.

[Kalila]

Yes.

[Rick Glassman]

Is that what you want? You want to look good and be cold?

[Kalila]

I want to look good and be cold.

[Rick Glassman]

Interesting. I didn't realize you liked me that way. And we're back.

[Esther Povitsky]

And you are exploding with Riz.

[Kalila]

Riz Glassman.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

All right.

[Rick Glassman]

Sorry for lum bobbing on your face there. Just clean those glasses off.

[Kalila]

Love, Bob. Oh, gross. Gross.

[Rick Glassman]

Oh, your boy.

[Esther Povitsky]

All right. Okay. Relax there, Alvin.

[Brent Morin]

You know why he's, like, loving me, right?

[Esther Povitsky]

Slow bombing you in about three, Two.

[Kalila]

Is why, Rick, do you let her, Alvin, lick the inside of your mouth?

[Rick Glassman]

No.

[Esther Povitsky]

Oh, you don't face lips.

[Rick Glassman]

I love when he licks my face, but I. But it grosses me out at the same time. So I let him do one or two, and then I ask him to stop and he does.

[Kalila]

Okay, so gaslighting. I just looked it up on the screen, and it's manipulating someone into doubting their own reality.

[Esther Povitsky]

Oh, I do feel Hannibal Lecter that.

[Kalila]

That'S what you do to me.

[Rick Glassman]

I know you do.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

And I'm. And I. And. And while we're on the subject of projecting, and I've said this to you before, out of all my friends, you literally built your brand on gaslighting people. I don't even know if you know when you're doing it. I think it's insane. So.

[Kalila]

So now you're projecting, clearly, right? No. Is that what you're doing? Is that the bit we're doing?

[Esther Povitsky]

I think he's doing meta gaslighting to.

[Kalila]

You, because I'm just specific example, in the beginning of the episode, I was like, what's wrong? I feel like you're in a bad mood. And you told me, like, no, you're not.

[Rick Glassman]

I'm not.

[Kalila]

But you had said multiple times you wanted to get it over with.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah, I was just making a joke. I say that on my podcast when I start all the time. All right, let's get this over with. Just a little joke.

[Kalila]

Well, that was my reality, and then now it's cleared up.

[Esther Povitsky]

Good.

[Kalila]

Okay.

[Esther Povitsky]

That was cray cray friend checking in.

[Brent Morin]

You feeling okay?

[Kalila]

Did you guys just trauma bond?

[Brent Morin]

Yeah, him and I are, like, the kids of, like, parents fighting. We're just looking like, what are you.

[Rick Glassman]

Eating while we're fighting?

[Brent Morin]

Oh, breadcrumbing. Speaking of food, what do you think breadcrumbing is?

[Esther Povitsky]

That's. Breadcrumbing is, you know, after I'm with Rick and he says something insulting to Esther, and then I go, not to mention the glasses. Is that, like, I'm just putting the crumbs on top of the insult?

[Rick Glassman]

No, it's. It's if. If. If love. If love was bread, if love was carbohydrates. As an analogy, if love was carbohydrates. You're not giving somebody enough sustenance, but you're giving them enough to, like, hey, follow. Follow me. Follow me. Like Hansel and Gretel.

[Brent Morin]

Kind of like dangling a carrot.

[Esther Povitsky]

Oh, I'm giving you a little bit, but then I don't.

[Rick Glassman]

Not enough. And then that person is, like, chasing more breadcrumbs. And this is another issue of not being able to set your own boundaries of, like, hey, shame on them for taking up just the breadcrumbs. But sometimes when you have love for somebody, it's hard to see the forest for the trees, you know? And you just try to get that little bit of taste, that little bit.

[Esther Povitsky]

It's hard to see the forest and the trees is what I'm stuck on now, isn't a forest trees.

[Rick Glassman]

Sometimes. Sometimes you're just so focused on this tree that you don't realize there's a whole forest here. And seeing it as one big thing.

[Esther Povitsky]

Find it hard for me to be stuck on one tree if I'm in a forest. I mean, there's so many trees.

[Kalila]

I'm kind of with you.

[Rick Glassman]

Ain't that the thing?

[Esther Povitsky]

Unless there's something on the tree, like.

[Rick Glassman]

An owl seeing the bigger picture. Like, hey, listen, you're really focused on this one episode being boring. But look at all of your boring episodes. But this is what the show is.

[Esther Povitsky]

But if I'm looking at a tree with an owl in a forest, I want to look at that tree. Because of the owl.

[Rick Glassman]

So I want to hold space for Esther.

[Kalila]

How do you feel when he does that? Oh, your show is not funny anymore. It's boring all the time. Where do you. Where does that land with you?

[Brent Morin]

I don't know. I. It's. It's mean. It's mean, but. And it doesn't make me feel good. But then I have trouble telling you that because I feel like you'll just say something meaner back. Yes, yes, yes.

[Kalila]

I feel like you can say that, but if I said that, I would just get pounded and pummeled even further.

[Brent Morin]

Because I'm not as quick as you.

[Kalila]

I was trying to stay quiet, but I can't.

[Brent Morin]

I think that here's where I have trouble in life a lot, and I hope you'll give me, like, maybe 30 seconds to finish this thought without saying, wrap it up or let's get it over with. I think that I love you so deeply, but you're so brilliant and you're so quick. It's sometimes hard to contend with that and tell you how I truly feel because I feel like you're just going to trample it because you're smarter than me, you're quicker than me, and your brain is connected to your mouth, and therefore you're able to get your thoughts much quicker versus me. It takes time to process. So I'll leave here feeling like, gosh, why did Rick say that so many times about our show and probably never say it to you? Because I have trouble contending with fast speakers. I have. Is. Does that make sense?

[Kalila]

Wow.

[Brent Morin]

But then also at the same. On the same note, I truly, truly love you, but also confusing. It is. It is. Yeah, it is. It is mean.

[Kalila]

And I would also like to add, like, it's. Honestly, really. And I'm sorry, Like, I wanted to wait and, like, say cut or whatever, but, like, I feel like it was really hard just now when you. When we were starting and you said that. I said I didn't want to have Brent on without you because it wouldn't do good numbers. Like, I don't remember saying that. I might have. I say it.

[Rick Glassman]

You didn't. I'm sorry. She never said that.

[Kalila]

I never thought he did, but that was so, like, mean. And I felt like it was mean to Brent, but it was coming from me in that way that you packaged it. And then he said something bad about himself, like, yeah, I get it. And I'm just, like, sitting here thinking, like, oh, my God, does Brent think that I said that? And, like, I'm an asshole. And I'm, like, thrown off by it. And it was just. But then I know if I say something, then you'll be like, I was just joking. And then I'm like, okay, well, should I not have said anything? I don't know.

[Esther Povitsky]

I would like to get out of here.

[Brent Morin]

Let's do it. Let's get out of here.

[Esther Povitsky]

No, I love this. This is powerful.

[Brent Morin]

I'm sweating.

[Esther Povitsky]

Don't sweat. The thing is, as intimate as I.

[Brent Morin]

Am with Rick, telling you that makes me feel so shitty.

[Rick Glassman]

Oh, I'm sorry.

[Esther Povitsky]

I just know. I gotta be honest, from my perspective, I just know Rick so well that all of them are jokes, but I know that they can be interpreted as not jokes. So when he's saying it won't do those numbers, I know he's joking. There's probably some truth in it, but I don't get affected by that at all. And I didn't even process that you wouldn't want me on because of that.

[Kalila]

Well, I'm so glad I said something, because that's so.

[Rick Glassman]

I am, too.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

May I?

[Kalila]

Yes.

[Rick Glassman]

First, I'm sorry that that me doing those things made you feel that way. And I'm sorry that the experience that you've had with me left you not feeling safe to tell me how you feel. I though I'm joking. I don't ever think that's an excuse to do something, because though my intentions were one thing, the way you receive them is equally valid from my perspective. I didn't know that you felt this way. And had I. And now that I do, genuinely, I'm sorry for that. I also feel that. And tell me if you disagree with this off camera. I don't make those kinds of jokes, not for better or worse. And I am coming into a place on some podcasts, I feel more than others, this being one of them. More specifically, being with you, where I feel the dynamic is you punch me and I punch back. We might have a different understanding of who punched first, but this time, with so many podcasts that we've done with one another, it doesn't really matter. The dynamic is. Is siblings fighting. So I come in being a very competitive person, even in my jokes. I don't know what your numbers are or how the podcast is doing, I hope. Well, I'm just. I'm lovingly and playfully shitting on you, because that's what the dynamic has been, I think.

[Brent Morin]

I'll give you that. I think that you're very good. Who you are in this mode is very different from.

[Esther Povitsky]

You got to pick a character when you're.

[Brent Morin]

Right.

[Esther Povitsky]

Right.

[Rick Glassman]

Podcast.

[Brent Morin]

That's always been, like, having podcasted with Bobby for, like, over 10 years, that's always been our issue. It's like, who he was. I would. On. When the cameras were on, I would interpret personally. I would take it personally. And then at the end of it all, he'd be like, no, like, I'm. I. This is all play. This is entertainment. We are. We. I gotta switch it on. Because that's not who he was when the cameras were off. And I do give. I will give you that you are genuinely one of the kindest, sweetest, best listeners off camera.

[Kalila]

I agree that I have a really great relationship with you off camera, and I think maybe that's why it is confusing. It's almost like even though you're. What you're saying is true, it's clear. One is on camera, one is off. Like, my brain is, like, not comprehending that, and it's like, I don't know. I don't know. But I definitely want to give you that. That I do agree, like, you're a very nice, great person when the cameras aren't there.

[Rick Glassman]

I've heard this my whole life. This is an issue with basketball, like, playing in tents or being a certain way and then off the court, it's like, oh, I thought we were just playing.

[Esther Povitsky]

So I know when you pulled that guy's hair.

[Kalila]

Wait, can I ask her?

[Brent Morin]

Wait, can you pull.

[Esther Povitsky]

So, yeah, he was frustrated. The guy had beautiful long hair, and he just.

[Rick Glassman]

He tripped me, and when I was getting up, he held me down. So then he pulled his hair. So he held me down. And then he got up. And when he was getting up, I wanted to hold him down, and he was like this. And I grabbed his hair and I pulled his hair down. Yeah.

[Esther Povitsky]

Beautiful long hair. And then he gets up. Did you just pull my hair? Starts chasing him around. He goes, okay, okay.

[Rick Glassman]

What can I tell you?

[Esther Povitsky]

It's heat of the game.

[Kalila]

Is the feedback you get in basketball that you sometimes are too aggressive.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

Okay. So I do think that that's when I get.

[Rick Glassman]

So when I get competitive. Yeah, I. I'm guilty of that. What's that?

[Esther Povitsky]

I'm guilty of that. In basketball. I can't play with. We can't play with certain people.

[Rick Glassman]

I can't.

[Esther Povitsky]

Now we get. I. Well, remember we both twisted our ankle because people didn't know what they were doing. And I'm. I was actually. I'm the Irish New Englander going never to play the fucking game if you're gonna fucking play. It's like a five on five in some small gym with people who'll never play.

[Brent Morin]

It's their fault you twisted your ankle.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah. Cause they're in the way. Like, learn how to.

[Rick Glassman]

There are some people that will push you for the battle.

[Brent Morin]

Learn how to not twist your ankle.

[Esther Povitsky]

Well, when you got some guy who just runs in front of you when he's not supposed to be near you and goes right into your ankle. When you're supposed to be on the wing and I'm taking the ball up and you're supposed to set a screen to cut this way, but you don't know what you're doing. So why are you even here? It really pissed me off, and then I just lost it a little.

[Brent Morin]

Unrelated. But my sister simultaneously twisted both of her ankles.

[Esther Povitsky]

Oh, boy.

[Brent Morin]

When she was, I think, 20 years old, we went to a house party and she went upstairs to use the bathroom, and my friend's mom was masturbating to porn.

[Kalila]

What?

[Esther Povitsky]

Wait, at the party?

[Brent Morin]

At the party.

[Esther Povitsky]

So she's up there, but downstairs, you hear?

[Brent Morin]

Yes. So my sister goes. And she's like, the bathroom's being used downstairs. She goes upstairs, walks into this Asian lady's bedroom boudoir. And the lady is like, furiously masturbating furiously to the beat, freaks out, misses a step, and twists both her ankles and then slides down. It was really.

[Kalila]

I have to say, I was like, where are you going with this? We're in the middle of something. And now I'm all about this.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah. All I'm picturing is an older Asian woman furiously masturbating to some aggressive porn while some kind of raves going on downstairs. And then your sister walks up, just seeing. I've assumed that's aggressive masturbation.

[Brent Morin]

It is. It was pretty aggressive. Yeah. So, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to.

[Esther Povitsky]

No, that's a. What kind of.

[Brent Morin]

How old it was in Hancock park?

[Esther Povitsky]

Oh, she was 20.

[Rick Glassman]

So hand clit?

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah. Oh, that'd be a good name.

[Kalila]

Rick. Let's. Let's continue this. How are you feeling? Because I don't want you to feel ganged up on or attacked, but I also do feel that I love when.

[Rick Glassman]

People tell me how they feel.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah, he's used to it.

[Rick Glassman]

If you told me how. If you told me this a while ago, then we would have had this conversation a while ago. Not putting that on you. And I understand you didn't feel comfortable doing it, but I had no idea you guys felt that way.

[Brent Morin]

I think it's. It's. It's a little bit like, do we let him just go off and shine? Because you are so funny. I would never want to stifle, like, anything you do. So it's like, ah, we'll figure it out in post.

[Kalila]

But like, it, I think also, I think it's maybe just certain subject matter or it just.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah, I don't know what those subject matters are, because we've had this with. When we did Rick and Esther. Like, there are times where it's just boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. And then there's times you were like, where your feelings would get hurt. And I'm like, which is valid. I just like, oh, I don't know if what the rules are, apparently.

[Kalila]

I think it's not that there are rules. It's just that when I'm sitting here, and now twice, there's been a joke about how our show is not funny and is boring. I'm like, what is that? Why?

[Rick Glassman]

Okay, well, I am feeling a little defensive right now because you say things, and I can't think of a specific example like that, but you say things like that to me all the time. You'll snore while I'm talking. You're saying I'm boring. When we're on my podcast and I'm doing some of my silly animations, you're like, this is stupid. Why would you do that?

[Kalila]

This is.

[Rick Glassman]

And, like, you make fun of that stuff. And I believe both that you respect me and that you might not like those jokes or those animated those things. And there's truth and there's silliness and, like, we're different. We're different. I am able to receive things in a certain way, not for better or for worse, differently than you. And it's. It's easy to get confused of, like, oh, I could take this so she can. When that's not necessarily the case. But I will say the rules are not something that I came into our relationship with, rather something that we calibrated together. And there are times where the same thing the next time bothers you. Even you said, oh, well, Rick, I made this decision that sometimes people gross me out and you're on the list or however you said it. And it's like, I remember we did an episode once where I was talking about something, and then I'm like. And then this girl went, blah, blah, blah. It was a very maybe PG 13, if not PG joke, and you lost it. And I was like, oh, okay, what.

[Kalila]

Does lost it mean? Though that's like sounds I would love.

[Rick Glassman]

To cut to a clip. Ew, ew, ew. See, it makes me not even want to be doing this with you. But see, that's funny whether it's funny or not.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

It was you judging what I was doing, saying it was not good comedic way. Sure. In your comedic way.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

And what I'm saying is, right, those are the rules that we've established.

[Kalila]

Yes.

[Rick Glassman]

So in my comedic way, when I'm like, I mean, we do this stuff all the time. We used to do this on Undateable when it was like when something happens and we go and the ratings are going down in that moment, it's just we're self deprecating. We make jokes about each other, about other people. Now there are some people.

[Esther Povitsky]

You can't do that, do that live on tv.

[Rick Glassman]

It is a little confusing with you because you do it all the time.

[Kalila]

And I do what all the time?

[Rick Glassman]

Punch and make fun?

[Kalila]

I don't know. I wouldn't say that. I punch all the time.

[Rick Glassman]

Okay, well, but to me, I receive it that way and I like it punching back.

[Kalila]

Look, I agree. I like it. I like when you punch at me. It's fun.

[Rick Glassman]

So I don't know when. So what I've just learned is there's a sensitivity to maybe talking about the show as a whole. Check. I.

[Kalila]

To be honest, it feels like punching down, right. Because you have. Your podcast is more successful than ours. And it feels like you're coming on our podcast and saying you're. And you. And I know you said you don't know our numbers, but the last time we had a phone call, we were talking numbers. Maybe you don't remember. I don't expect you to remember everything we say to each other, but I was telling you our numbers and compared to yours, and they are much lower. And so I think that's where. When it feels like you're punching down. When you call me ugly, I don't give a fuck. Because I personally don't think you're punching down. I think I'm prettier than you. But I do feel that when you come on our podcast and you say your numbers are bad and it's boring, I go, you know, it's almost like if Scarlett Johansson walked in the room and was like, esther, you're ugly and you're never gonna be acting in a movies, I'd be like, why the fuck are you saying that to me?

[Rick Glassman]

Oh, that'd be making shimmy jokes to you guys on Tiger Belly. And like, oh, this is this and stuff more to Bobby than to you. Like, I would be punching Bobby too.

[Kalila]

Again. You could that you might not be viewing it that way. That's the way I'm receiving it as it feels like punching down. I'm not saying on purpose punching.

[Rick Glassman]

Well, I am sorry I don't see you or a show. I'm genuinely like, I didn't even think as lesser than. I'm just. You guys are my friends and I make jokes at you. And I guess since this is your podcast by association, your podcast, which is also your podcast. And then you're feeling it too. I don't know. I was just like, I'm just throwing fucking darts. And I. And I. And not meaning making excuses. Really. I'm sorry. Clocked. I will not make jokes about your podcast anymore.

[Esther Povitsky]

Hit the triple.

[Rick Glassman]

There are some other things that you've brought up to me that is not relevant outside of the fact that there's variables of certain things to not make jokes at that I've heard you and I haven't. There are certain things that, like, I know, hey, this is not something to play with. I didn't realize this was one of those. And had we had that conversation, I will say I didn't remember. And I think I get it now.

[Esther Povitsky]

Can I give an analogy? Okay. You know, you guys are throwing a lot of words at me, and I'm walking into a relationship that feels a little bit at the end. And I brought the cheap wine. Now I'm feeling bad about it, but the dinner's almost ready. Let me, as somebody who speaks Ricky, let me just knowing him for Jesus, 20 years, I'll give a great analogy of Ricky. Ricky can't wrestle. Let me explain. So sometimes, you know, guys, like, I remember we'd be outside a show and we'd have like comedian friends and he kind of mess around. But once you engage in that game with Rick, he's going to choke it out. So. And he did that to a few friends. I go, what are you doing, man? I thought we were wrestling. And it's like, no, I was just playing around. So what I'm saying is that when Rick commits to the game, that's the game for him here. That's his game.

[Brent Morin]

Sorry. And not to like give you a better analogy.

[Esther Povitsky]

Oh, please. Well, you know what? Now. Now we got a problem. You know, first off, you come in here gaslighting me, all right? You're probably going to ghost me. And God knows if your future faking me. And I swear to God. Boundaries have been crossed and codependency is something I need.

[Brent Morin]

Well, I think what you're trying to say is, in the game of Jiu jitsu, you don't know how to spar. He knows how to choke someone out and to finish, but he doesn't know how to train and spar.

[Esther Povitsky]

He will go for the play thing. He. You know, because there's so many times we'd be somewhere and I go, don't. Ricky doesn't play. Ricky doesn't play.

[Brent Morin]

By the way, that wasn't an insult. I think that's.

[Rick Glassman]

I understand. I also. I also have really worked hard on that and recognizing when I'm wrestling and the other people are sparring. Yeah. And I believe I have not only been working on it, but I've gotten quite good at it. I'm not a magician, but when somebody says to me, hey, we're sparring, I. It's very easy for me. Like you said, you were nervous. And, Rick, how are you? I value information like that so much, it doesn't make me feel lesser about myself. It makes me feel grateful that I can now calibrate and fit in better with certain people. So I might not recognize that you're sparring. And with you especially, it's very confusing because your spar turns into wrestling. Back into spar. I don't know the rules with you. I do believe you. So when somebody says, hey, Rick, that hurts my feelings. I don't. I wouldn't say they're touching my ceilings. You know, I would be like, oh. Oh.

[Esther Povitsky]

What?

[Rick Glassman]

Just. What did I just miss?

[Kalila]

Gotta laugh.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah, he'll do that. Like, you know, a lot of ball busting that happened on the set of Undateable, and, man, they really threw me under the bus on that show. You know, scripts just got to the point they'd be like, justin, you look bad with no chin. I go, that's not even a joke. That's just how I look today. That'd be like, in the script, the writers see me and do that. But I've told you, and I told Chris, like, you know, I could take the jokes. I have fun. But I told Rick privately, I said, just don't make fun of my hair. You know, And I told Chris privately, and they both went, done. You know, didn't know that bothered you. And I was like, yeah, because I'm, you know, because I'm buying this now, doing all that shit. I don't care. Go get a doctor. Go to Turkey. I didn't go yet, but I'M gonna go again. It's. It's like tattoos, man. I want to fucking Sonic the Hedgehog this one day. But they just went, oh, okay, that's off limits. And they never brought it up again unless we're together talking about hair.

[Rick Glassman]

There was an episode where after that, Bill. Oh, yeah, you know what I'm talking about already.

[Esther Povitsky]

I know exactly what you're talking about.

[Rick Glassman]

The water.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah. When we were live.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah. And Bill said he wanted me to dump this bucket of water on Brent's head. And I go, I don't think we should do that. Brent is a little insecure about his hair. And he goes, it's funny. It's fine. He'll think it's funny. If it's funny, it's fine. Or something like that. And then I'm like national television. So I did it. It's at the very end of the episode. So there's maybe 10 seconds after I poured the water on him and I put the. Do you remember? I put the bucket over his head and I left the bucket on his head so you couldn't see his hair. So I'm so sorry I had to do this, but don't take it off yet till the show is over. So I did what I had to do, but I left so you couldn't see his hair.

[Esther Povitsky]

And I was in there like, thank you.

[Kalila]

That's really sweet. And I want to piggyback off of that and say, rick, that genuinely. The fact that we can even have this conversation. And, like, because it probably. I don't. I would imagine that when you get feedback like this, it makes you maybe feel under attack. I know. I personally would, like, because it's just hard to take criticism or whatever. And I just really appreciate that you create a safe space and that you are comfortable and you're so. I mean, you are so intelligent that you're able to take it really well. And I don't know. I'm just really appreciative of the safety that you create. For me to feel like I can say how I feel and not be, like, made fun of or just honestly to be received is, like, it's really a huge deal. And I don't know a lot of people that are capable of that myself include, like, I don't know. I don't know.

[Rick Glassman]

Thank you. When I joke, the intention for me behind it is maybe 100%, if not almost 100%, a form of, like, connection. And I'm wanting to connect, and I think I'm connecting when I find out I'm not. Now we're floating and where's the connection? It's just honesty and, like, telling me how you feel. So, like, I'll grab onto that just as easily as this. This is just where I live and play. But, like, the moment we're like, hey, I can't have this now. I want this other lifeline of that. So I'm wanting to connect all the time. This idea of not liking small talk I get and I don't. I talk about in my act a lot, but it's not that small talk. It's bad. It's just that a lot of times it cannibalizes true connection. And to me, more than most. And I understand it's annoying to people. I love bits so much. I always want to do them. And it's not just being silly. It's being seen and being received and playing that back and forth. And we fell in love because of it. Because I'm doing bits with Brent, and when I'm not doing bits with Brent, I'm in the audience watching him do it. And I don't mean at a comedy club. I mean in conversation. Sometimes Brent's in the pocket, and I think he's the funniest person in the world when he's in the pocket, but.

[Esther Povitsky]

When not, it's genuine finding it right now.

[Rick Glassman]

I also. I've also experienced this in my. In my personal, like, my intimate relationships. Like, there are times where it's like, oh, like this person that I'm competing with who makes a little joke at me, and I'm like, I love this. They didn't hurt my feelings. It's like, oh, we're connecting. Let me do it back and fucking harder. And it's a connect even more with you. And it's like, oh, I maybe hurt their feelings or they didn't feel seen. Like, my girlfriend when I'm dating somebody isn't Brent, and it's like, I'm being serious. It was a real thing I had, like, it's like, it could be if I'm dating somebody who is like Brent, then it is. But if it's not, sometimes I forget because when I'm in play mode and I become Kid Rick again, it's wrestling and we're having fun, and I. I'm assuming, or rather than assuming, I'm not even considering that this person opposite me doesn't think the way that I do. And it's sometimes easy for me to forget that or at least not pick up on that unless they tell me so. I'm just, you know, Anyway, yeah, just tell.

[Kalila]

I get it.

[Esther Povitsky]

What I tell people.

[Brent Morin]

I just tell them.

[Kalila]

Have had a similar thing in my relationship with Dave, where he is. He has. He literally has a podcast called the Great Debates, where him and this other really smart guy, they debate, like, nonsense topics. And Dave just, like, he is an arguer and a debater, and he's brilliant at it. And I was starting to feel like these little conversations, like, that arguer would come out and I'd be like, yeah, he.

[Rick Glassman]

Like, I'm like, that too.

[Kalila]

Yeah. And so I understand that.

[Rick Glassman]

Get off on it. It's.

[Kalila]

Yeah. And I'm like. And I've just learned to be like, this isn't a great debate. Like, I now.

[Rick Glassman]

Now say that, you mean. So he goes, oh, I'm doing that thing.

[Kalila]

Yeah, we just. I think that I am. So I just. We have our funny way of getting out of it. But, like, it used to be a thing where I'd be like, what's happening?

[Brent Morin]

Wait, that. That really, really makes a lot of sense. I've done this so many times where I've been the constant, like, contrarian. That's just. Just because it's worked with other people. And the contrarian relationship works really well for some. And then I speak to someone else who just doesn't like that kind of relationship at all. And I've definite. I know what. I know that feeling. Or when someone is being, like, just constantly a contrarian with me. It's fucking annoying.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Brent Morin]

Especially if you're in an intimate relationship with them where it's like, well, actually, I just needed your support. I didn't need you to be the devil's advocate. Play a devil's advocate.

[Kalila]

Totally. And I think that, Rick, like, that's just such a relatable topic that you came. Just brought up. I think that's why we're both, like, going off on it. Because when you. When you in your intimate relationship, you're like, one thing. It's not translating that how you are with your friends. Like, I'll make jokes that I make with Caroline. If I take those over to Dave, he's like, what? It's like, yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah. It's tough, though, sometimes.

[Esther Povitsky]

Let's just get together. We're not going anywhere anymore.

[Rick Glassman]

Like, I want a baby.

[Esther Povitsky]

Rick.

[Brent Morin]

Wait, hang on. Do you talk about this?

[Esther Povitsky]

Sorry, I didn't mean to steamroll. I was trying to add some.

[Brent Morin]

Wait, do you really want a baby?

[Esther Povitsky]

Of course. I'd love a family.

[Brent Morin]

Where are we at with single? Okay.

[Esther Povitsky]

No, Prospects.

[Brent Morin]

Do we know if the sperms are swimming?

[Rick Glassman]

Well, mind checked every few months.

[Esther Povitsky]

Not to get too divulge too much information, but from the past.

[Brent Morin]

Can we look at them under my eyes? I'm able to check.

[Kalila]

Why is that? That's not his Patreon.

[Brent Morin]

Can I look at your sperm under a microscope and I can tell you whether or not they're a swimming.

[Esther Povitsky]

Sure.

[Rick Glassman]

No love bomber yet. Don't love bomber yet.

[Esther Povitsky]

I was gonna do it to her. I was gonna go in the hall.

[Rick Glassman]

But Maya, I tend to date people who I find to be funny. When they're playing with me and making me laugh, I want to play back. And I also want to say that, like, that's okay if you're a playful boy and you're dating a playful girl.

[Esther Povitsky]

Okay.

[Rick Glassman]

And you want to do lots of bits. You know, just be kind. But I don't want to also, I don't want to poo. Poo the bits.

[Esther Povitsky]

Okay.

[Brent Morin]

Yeah.

[Esther Povitsky]

Playful or female, I don't think playful boy is gonna play online.

[Brent Morin]

Esther is saying, hey, Rick, do you want to play with Barbies? And then you get a hammer and you go bonk.

[Esther Povitsky]

That's.

[Rick Glassman]

And then Esther says, oh, hey Rick, that's how you used to play with your turtles. That's not how I like to play with Barbies. And then I'll go, oh, thanks for telling me.

[Esther Povitsky]

And then I would say, you're 35. Grow up and throw the Barbies out. We have to go to my parents house for dinner. I'm this weird part of my life. I really am Bill Burr.

[Rick Glassman]

Drop dead Years, a hilarious stand up special, is now streaming on Hulu.

[Esther Povitsky]

I am getting along with my wife better than I ever have.

[Rick Glassman]

All you have to do is agree.

[Esther Povitsky]

To something that you would never do. Farmer's Market. Oh, boy, would I.

[Rick Glassman]

My buddy dies, I show up to.

[Esther Povitsky]

The funeral, open casket.

[Rick Glassman]

You told me he was dead. I believed you.

[Esther Povitsky]

Bill Burr.

[Rick Glassman]

Drop dead Years is not streaming on Hulu.

[Brent Morin]

This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace.

[Kalila]

Kalila, when I had my own business, I absolutely relied on Squarespace. First of all, can you even consider what it would mean to build a website without Squarespace? I don't know how to do anything, anything without Squarespace.

[Brent Morin]

Squarespace gives you everything you need to offer services and get paid all in one place. So if you have a business like.

[Kalila]

Esther or myself, you guys, Squarespace makes it really easy to showcase your expertise and engage clients with video content on your website. You can upload and organize your videos. Basically, no matter what it is you're doing. If it's your hobby, if it's your passion, if it's your career, whatever it is, Squarespace has everything that you need to just get a new thing going in your life. I know for me it's March, but like, it's still the new year. Like, I'm still figuring things out. And I think Squarespace has everything you need. I think you can go to squarespace.com trashtuesday for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, use offer code TRASHTUESDAY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. That's squarespace.com trashtuesday for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, use offer code TRASHTUESDAY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Kalila and I know you specifically can't do anything in life without Squarespace. And so we love Squarespace. Thank you to Hulu for sponsoring this episode. See the new hilarious stand up special Bill Burr. Drop dead Years now streaming on Hulu. Get Bill's provocative, unfiltered and honest point of view on everything from marriage and parenthood to dating advice and dropping dead. With his signature raw wit and sharp commentary, Bill fearlessly pushes boundaries as he navigates the nonsense and weighs in on mental health, social media and societal norms in his first Hulu standup special. No topic is off limits with Bill's refreshingly candid take on the chaotic landscape of our world today. Burr's unique ability to blend deep critique with laugh out loud humor is exactly what makes this one of his most personal and funniest hours yet. See the new hilarious standup special Bilber Drop dead Ears. Now streaming on Hulu.

[Brent Morin]

Back to babies. You check your sperm every couple months.

[Rick Glassman]

I froze my. My. Can I say come?

[Brent Morin]

You come? Yeah. Frozen come.

[Rick Glassman]

I froze my cum a couple of times.

[Esther Povitsky]

It's got a penis thing.

[Kalila]

Can I ask why?

[Brent Morin]

I thought it was a hormone thing.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah.

[Esther Povitsky]

Oh, not a penis thing.

[Rick Glassman]

What's the penis thing?

[Brent Morin]

Penis works.

[Esther Povitsky]

What, a whole nut thing?

[Rick Glassman]

That's a. That's a testicle, not a penis.

[Esther Povitsky]

They're connected. Mine are friends.

[Rick Glassman]

I have a varicoseal.

[Esther Povitsky]

They're really getting close now. They got no action.

[Brent Morin]

You have a varicele.

[Rick Glassman]

Varicocele in my left testicle. Extra veins. Varicocele.

[Brent Morin]

Varicosity there.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah, they work out.

[Kalila]

Is that what Rainn Wilson had?

[Brent Morin]

No, he had. One was bigger than the other. He had another seal. It was like a hydrocele or something like that.

[Esther Povitsky]

Does it matter if my cum is cautious?

[Brent Morin]

How cautious?

[Esther Povitsky]

Well, I'm just saying the way it comes out, it doesn't spray. It kind of looks around and then someone goes down.

[Brent Morin]

Wait, no, no. As someone who has dated, a weeper is what we call him.

[Esther Povitsky]

Oh, I don't like that you're gaslighting me.

[Brent Morin]

You have no projectile. You kind of just boop, dollop, it comes on out.

[Esther Povitsky]

It could be the Zoloft.

[Brent Morin]

Yeah, I've gotten pregnant by a weeper.

[Esther Povitsky]

Well, there you go. You're gonna have a weeping child one.

[Kalila]

Day, I don't think. Yeah, I think you're fine.

[Brent Morin]

More cautious. Weeping cum is fine.

[Esther Povitsky]

I just feel like Mike come is intelligent and so it wants to really look at the new surrounding before it trickles down to the old testes.

[Brent Morin]

Let me tell you something, you're not wasteful. If you're not just spraying it onto hard surfaces, you're going, I have one place to be and one place only. Boop, there it goes.

[Esther Povitsky]

I've only shot once. Really? I think I was 12 and I just. Were you by my head on my parents bed when they were gone?

[Kalila]

Oh, my God.

[Esther Povitsky]

I mean, my bed.

[Rick Glassman]

What are those things that you. Little things and you throw them on the ground?

[Esther Povitsky]

My penis. Oh. Oh, poppers.

[Rick Glassman]

Poppers? Yeah. You're not a love bomber, you're a love popper.

[Brent Morin]

I don't think. I think poppers are a drug.

[Kalila]

Yeah. What are those?

[Esther Povitsky]

Oh, yeah. Poppers get you going, right? Dance in the shadows with poppers can really have a good time.

[Brent Morin]

Doesn't it prep you for like, anal?

[Esther Povitsky]

I've only danced with the dark dune monster a couple times.

[Kalila]

Who's that?

[Esther Povitsky]

The analysis I got in there. Looked around, come as cautious, we got right out.

[Rick Glassman]

And poppets make you. Make you have anal easier.

[Kalila]

No, poppers.

[Brent Morin]

Poppers.

[Esther Povitsky]

Poppers is like that thing where you just go, yeah, let's get it.

[Rick Glassman]

Let's do analytics of a drug guy.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah, you missed out. I'm done. But I had my time.

[Brent Morin]

Rick, back to your frozen cum. How much have we frozen?

[Rick Glassman]

And I mean, I have. I honestly am already looking for. My freezer's full and I'm looking for.

[Kalila]

Well, you have it at home.

[Rick Glassman]

Oh, yeah, that's. I'm just making a joke, Esther.

[Esther Povitsky]

It's right next to the halo top.

[Rick Glassman]

I've frozen in two different places in case, you know, one of them burns down.

[Brent Morin]

Okay.

[Rick Glassman]

So I might come in a couple of places.

[Esther Povitsky]

One of them burns down and they're Jewels.

[Brent Morin]

Okay, I have a real question about this.

[Rick Glassman]

It's like having multiple hard drive backups.

[Brent Morin]

Is it just backup? So in the event you find a partner and you're like, wow, she's great. We want to start a family. Are you going to use your younger come or your present come.

[Rick Glassman]

I'm going to try. I'm going to use this come.

[Brent Morin]

Okay.

[Esther Povitsky]

Oh, you're going to try that way.

[Rick Glassman]

I just have it. I have it. I mean you relate to this.

[Kalila]

Yes, I was going to say.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah, I just in case like so like the varicoseal I had operation on in high school, it went away. My fertility was good. A woman I was seeing got pregnant and she did not want to have that baby. We did not want to have that baby. We got rid of that in high school, in college. I think about it often.

[Esther Povitsky]

You sent the baby to college?

[Kalila]

What? Can I ask why you think about it often? What do you mean?

[Rick Glassman]

Because I, I really, really like wanna. You're getting start my. I wanna start a family and I want to have kids. I want to have. Find my partner. And I think about like, oh, you know, you would have a. I mean I was in college, so I'd have a four year old now. And I think about it often.

[Brent Morin]

I think about my abortion often too. And I. That is the misconception with conception. Just like pro life debate.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah.

[Brent Morin]

Is that there's this idea that women who get abortions are just willy nilly, go in there, get it done and never think about it again like it's some form of contraception. And I will say, like it's been one of the more like painful times in my relationship or in my life. And even Now I, at 40, I think about, yeah, I would have had a child 6 years old, 7 years old.

[Esther Povitsky]

I think about that all the time. It was really, it's really personal and emotional for sure. And it's the two of you and it's all.

[Brent Morin]

I don't regret my decision. It was the correct decision for me at that time in my life.

[Rick Glassman]

She still owes me 800 bucks, but.

[Brent Morin]

I'm still owed money as well.

[Kalila]

Maybe you guys could make it even with each other. I don't know that one.

[Brent Morin]

You won't give me a frozen come.

[Rick Glassman]

She keeps asking me this, you know what? How do I know when she's joking?

[Esther Povitsky]

You know what? Give me your younger come because you're pretty tall.

[Rick Glassman]

It's not that younger come. I did it. I did it last year. I did it. I did it in two different places. One of the places I went in person, and it was a guy. It was just a guy there. And he gave me an alcohol wipe and then went into the room. And I came back out. I said, I'm a little confused. I'm assuming this is for my penis, but wouldn't that be like, do I want it to come through alcohol on the way out? Maybe I'm supposed to do something else. He goes, yeah, you just wipe the tip of the penis. And as a joke, I'm like, all right. And then what do I do? And he started answering me. And he was teaching me how to masturbate. So I was. I was either able to say, oh, no, no, I'm just joking. Which I would have done if there were other people around, because I don't want other people to think. And maybe I'm making fun of him or something, but I was already in there. And then if I'm just joking, then he thinks I'm making fun. Since it's just between the two of us and whoever is, all the people that are listening to this now publicly.

[Esther Povitsky]

So you're still taking that as an insult. That's a callback to the confrontation that happened before I speak. Rick. No.

[Rick Glassman]

So he taught me how to masturbate. And I go, awesome. And then I went into the.

[Esther Povitsky]

Was that the first place? Because I remember getting calls after these sessions.

[Rick Glassman]

No, I did. I. I've. I've been getting. I. Because of the varicoseal. I get my. My sperm checked every couple of years just to see, like. Because I don't want to have the surgery on it again now because 1. It might come back, and then I have to have it again, and I don't know if that's going to reverse or fix anything. So I'm just like. When I find my person, when we're ready, I'll have that operation. Also more scar tissue. Just. I'll do it when I do it. So, like, I'm just checking if it keeps getting worse or whatever. I just want to have the information. So when I'm. I also get blood work, like full panels, like every other. Every two or three months. I just, like, want to go back and see where the pat. I just like that.

[Brent Morin]

What are you looking for?

[Kalila]

Do you have an aura ring?

[Rick Glassman]

No, I thought about getting one.

[Kalila]

I love it for. I. Like, I understand.

[Rick Glassman]

I do have some hormones imbalances.

[Brent Morin]

I remember this.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah. So that's why I started doing it. And as I was doing.

[Brent Morin]

Was it your estrogen that was high?

[Rick Glassman]

My testosterone and My estrogen were high. My testosterone is still high. Thankfully, my estrogen has gotten back down. But sometimes my prolactin is a bit high. My cortisol is high.

[Brent Morin]

Your prolactin is high.

[Rick Glassman]

It's. It's interesting. It's not as variable as my testosterone.

[Kalila]

No, that's usually I. I'm not joking. That's just what's high when you breastfeed.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah, I'm just a bit stressed.

[Kalila]

Okay.

[Rick Glassman]

And I don't think I'm. I'm stressed and it's affecting my hormones. I have learned how much like. Like when I'm in a certain mood, I could be like, I have a feeling if I get blood work right now I know where my cortisol levels are. Like, I know where stuff is.

[Brent Morin]

Yeah, for sure. I think that cortisol is very easy to.

[Kalila]

The aura ring tracks your stress too.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah.

[Esther Povitsky]

Oh boy. Explode on me.

[Brent Morin]

I feel like that wouldn't be any type of metrics. Throws me into further.

[Kalila]

I know. And I need it. It's an addiction.

[Brent Morin]

Are you afraid that they might mislabel or somehow mix up your sperm? Let's suppose you're ready and you're like, you know what I actually want to do like surgery.

[Rick Glassman]

I'd be able to tell by looking.

[Kalila]

At it how the sperm or the baby.

[Esther Povitsky]

Asking a lot of questions.

[Rick Glassman]

I was going to say something like that. What are we doing now? Why are we here?

[Brent Morin]

Did you guys hear this story? I just read it last week where a woman gives birth. A white woman gives birth to a black baby. And then the. The family of the baby then was it sues the woman for custody to basically, hey, that's our baby. And it was the wrong embryo implanted into the wrong woman.

[Kalila]

And so this woman raised the all parties for like six horrible. She had the baby, it's her baby for six months and then she has to give it up because it's not biological.

[Rick Glassman]

Oh, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. So it was an embryo put in. So it was neither her egg nor her sperm.

[Brent Morin]

Neither Wrong.

[Rick Glassman]

Right. Well, as heart wrenching as that is, that is the right decision.

[Brent Morin]

Of course it's not her baby, but imagine caring.

[Rick Glassman]

Oh my gosh. Terrible. Terrible. Fucking terrible. I'm serious.

[Esther Povitsky]

No, terrible.

[Rick Glassman]

I mean, I just think about that like when you're fostering a dog and then you want to get it and then you're like, we can't. These people. It's like, but I've been loving this thing for three weeks. Imagine carrying it for all Right.

[Esther Povitsky]

This is a dumb question, but I think I'm kind of. That's me here. Now, did the. The woman whose baby it was, was she carrying her baby and it was a swallow.

[Rick Glassman]

Brent doesn't. I don't think you know.

[Esther Povitsky]

Okay. I don't.

[Rick Glassman]

A woman will have her eggs harvested, and then a man will come in a freezer or some. Or room temperature. We create an embryo, then they put it together. So an. The embryo is the sperm and the egg. So that exists outside of body.

[Kalila]

So let's say me and Rick made a baby, and then we put it in the freezer. That is what Dave would have a problem with, too.

[Brent Morin]

And then. Okay. And then you and I. Brent.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah, thank God.

[Rick Glassman]

Same.

[Brent Morin]

We made an embryo as well.

[Rick Glassman]

But they put our embryo in Kalila.

[Brent Morin]

Yeah, they put their embryo into mine.

[Kalila]

And then you guys have a baby. You're like, why is this baby so cheap?

[Rick Glassman]

Basically, we both are driving the same car. Okay. The same kind of car. And I get your keys, you get my keys. We end up going in the car. We think we're okay. And as we're driving, we realize from the inside, oh, this isn't my car. It's somebody else's.

[Esther Povitsky]

I appreciate that, but I got it.

[Rick Glassman]

When she said it.

[Esther Povitsky]

And also, you triggered memories for me being in special ed when you put your hand on me to explain.

[Brent Morin]

I saw you. Look.

[Esther Povitsky]

That was like. That was like Ms. Rusan again. It's like.

[Brent Morin]

Can we roll that back the same part? Okay, that was crazy. I. I saw that moment when you look down at your hand, like, why are you touching me? Were you in special ed?

[Esther Povitsky]

Oh, yeah. I was a desk in the hall kid.

[Kalila]

Okay, wait, that's not. Is that cuz you were misbehaving?

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah, I just. I just didn't get it. I mean, it's a deeper. It's a deeper story that kind of sparked a lot of my.

[Brent Morin]

I want to know about it.

[Esther Povitsky]

All right, I'll give the Cliff Notes to it. So I was like a Pepe Le Pew, you know, kid, believed in cooties. I was in elementary school. I didn't. I looked like a Swedish Chucky doll. I would steal my mom's jewelry, give it to girls. I'd want girlfriends. I'd write poetry. I'd be like, hey, Love Bomber.

[Brent Morin]

Early Love Bomber.

[Esther Povitsky]

I just was like, I knew what I liked, and then, you know.

[Brent Morin]

But Pepe Le Pew was a. Is. Is. Is.

[Esther Povitsky]

Well, yeah.

[Kalila]

Did girls like you a lot?

[Esther Povitsky]

No, no, no. I'm not kidding. I'll Send a photo, you can see what I look like. But in my mind, I was the shit. I always say first grade was the best I ever was with women.

[Kalila]

Did the women get arrested?

[Esther Povitsky]

No. So what happened was, point being, girls never gave me any attention. And I'm like in third grade and this new girl comes on our bus and she sits next to me and she goes, hi. And I'm like, hi. And we became really good friends. And I was like, wow, I'm friends with a girl. I like her. This is a little tragic. A month after that, she's not on the bus. I found out her and her whole family got murdered.

[Kalila]

A little tragic.

[Esther Povitsky]

Okay, completely tragic.

[Kalila]

Wait, what?

[Brent Morin]

Wait, who?

[Kalila]

Did you know this?

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah, I remember this story a little bit.

[Esther Povitsky]

So my whole world is flipped. You're not thinking about mortality or death. It was all over the news. I guess a cousin who was psychotically sick killed the whole family. And I noticed one day on the bus, they're planting a tree for at the elementary school. And I just started thinking, what's the point of this? What's. Why am I. What is school? Why. Why go to school? What is the point of this thing? What is life? I started questioning things about like, I don't even like what they're telling me to. Like, I don't like this, I don't like that. So then I had an existential crisis in third grade with my bus driver. And I just was saying, what is the point of me going in there? So you can learn? Why do I need to learn things that I don't want to learn? And so I had this whole thing, the principal had to come out, they had to take me off the bus. That's what started my special ed journey.

[Kalila]

So that's not special ed. It's like you didn't. You. You clearly did not lack intelligence.

[Esther Povitsky]

I had a problem with just. Yeah, I definitely. I'm dyslexic and all that. I, you know, and I had this size head as a baby too. My mom had me pretty late and they really thought I was special. I fell out of a high chair.

[Brent Morin]

What's wrong with your head?

[Esther Povitsky]

Well, I grew into it, but I was like wobble when I was a baby. I was a big head.

[Kalila]

When you say your mom had you late, you mean her age or you were about 40?

[Brent Morin]

No, I thought that.

[Rick Glassman]

Okay.

[Brent Morin]

How I interpreted it was I got 42 weeks versus 40 weeks.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah, I was chilling. Yeah, I just remember then I had to start taking like 3 hour IQ tests with blocks and stuff. Once a year, they're supposed to be 30 minutes. You know, I don't know what was going on.

[Rick Glassman]

And they wanted me to put this square.

[Esther Povitsky]

I had a real understanding of, you know, and in fifth grade, I knew I wanted to be an actor and a filmmaker and all that. I just knew what I wanted. So I just didn't see the point in me doing other things. I'd get by. I went to college, I graduated, all that. But I. So by senior year, I was just in the hall. My teachers are like, okay, why don't you just be in the hallway and then we'll let you teach the last five minutes of class, you know, and then I would just do bits. That was just kind of what it was, but it all sparked from that situation. Wow. The first girl that ever liked me was murdered.

[Kalila]

That is an unbelievable origin story. Like, I. It is funny, but it's also obviously not like it is.

[Esther Povitsky]

I uncovered it in therapy when I actually went to therapy. Not yours, but I went to another. Well, because you offered a therapist to me a while ago, but I went to therapy and was handsome, therapized man, but really attracted. Like, why wasn't I in a relationship until I was 26? Why. Why did I always surface play? Why was it always about like, oh, I don't want them to see the real me. I'll just be charming and fun and have. We'll have a good time and, you know, and that will be the end of it. I was like, well, what am I scared of? Why do I hate me? What is going on? What happened to that cocky kid?

[Kalila]

You know, it's just such a mature thought.

[Esther Povitsky]

Well, it's like, it's fun to, you know, reveal that stuff. And when I brought it up, kind of like I did now, the therapist was like, what? I was like, yeah, I don't know that. I think that's probably. He goes like, yeah, that's probably where you had some intimacy issues starting out.

[Kalila]

I had those same thoughts that you had.

[Esther Povitsky]

Well, that's why my come is cautious. I had one make sure she's still around.

[Kalila]

Why am I learning this? I don't want to learn this, but that was in college. The fact that. That you had that in elementary school is like, I just. I know that you're saying there's learning, struggling or whatever there, but to me, it sounds like you're a highly intelligent.

[Esther Povitsky]

And emotionally intelligent child, come from an intelligent family. I. I was aware that I was funny noises. Well, because, you know, there's so many things I'M dumb at, you know, like, spell recess. All right. L, L, Z, K, 4. All right. Risa, 4. No, you know, I'm up there in intelligence, I think. But no, my older brother's smarter. My younger brother was smarter. You know, parents are geniuses, so I'm. I'm smart enough to know I'm not that smart, which I love. This is the best place to be. You know?

[Brent Morin]

You never want to be the smartest person.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah. It's so stressful.

[Kalila]

Yeah. Rick, what's it like?

[Rick Glassman]

Oh, I. I don't.

[Esther Povitsky]

Oh, he does a lot of dumb shit, too. We're a couple of idiot. Take it again. Cut. Here we go. Oh, he.

[Rick Glassman]

Palms up.

[Esther Povitsky]

Okay, palms up real quick. Resetting the room. Quiet on set. Oh, he does some dumb shit, too.

[Kalila]

That's lunch.

[Esther Povitsky]

Sorry. They're gonna cut me out of this. Is this a sponsor? Yeah, of course. I've always. I always thought I'd find the one and then things would work out. I had the vision board. I even found, got the girl that I wanted, you know, all the things on the vision board were coming true, even as. As I wanted to look like Natalie Portman meets Keira Knightley. She did, you know. I know, but I was my. That was my type. So it was perfect. Gorgeous. I was like, I want her to be funny and ambitious and have that. Oh, it's working. Oh, I can marry her. Oh, she's great with my grandma. Oh, this is fantastic. Like, I just thought everything. I'm gonna get this, get this, get this. Then I'll be ready to have a relationship because I'll believe in me enough that this person will. I'll be confident enough to be myself. So it's a lot easier to play the field than it is to get yourself. So I thought if I accomplish certain things, that I'd have the confidence to go up to somebody like that and actually let her see the other side, you know? And of course, that didn't work.

[Brent Morin]

Why?

[Esther Povitsky]

But. Well, she's on the other side. But now I'm like. I said I'm not gonna. That hurts so much. That was the hardest thing I ever went through that I was like, it.

[Rick Glassman]

Hurts so much, dude.

[Esther Povitsky]

It just hurts so much that it's like losing. I didn't get a dog for years because I lost two when I was a kid, and it hurts so much. So it's like, do I want to go through that pain again?

[Brent Morin]

Question for both of you guys. When it hurts so much, do you run away or do you.

[Esther Povitsky]

Do you wallow I'm Irish. I'm like a dog who dies in the woods. I run away for a while, like, which was the wrong thing to do. You know, they say, halt, hungry, angry, lonely and tired. That's an AA term, you know, which I'm not in. But point being, my dad is. So he would tell me that don't be hungry, angry, lonely and tired, because that's what's going to trigger a bunch of isolation.

[Rick Glassman]

Is the devil give us your horny, angry, lonely and tired.

[Esther Povitsky]

Honestly, Rick, I'm about to cry. You're gaslighting me, I think. But no, my whole thing is, okay, Brent, you've done it. And what's great is if you have enough sense to question yourself, have mirror moments, as I call it. My dad used to tell me, have mirror moments with yourself. So you look in the mirror, take away your ego and defensiveness, come to terms with the fact that even if it wasn't your fault, it was in some way, you got to work on you. That's it. Because everything is your fault in some way.

[Brent Morin]

Such great advice. It's your fault in some way because.

[Esther Povitsky]

You have to find it. Okay? Yeah.

[Kalila]

Gives you responsibility and power.

[Brent Morin]

You're a part of it. No matter what. You're a part of it.

[Esther Povitsky]

Exactly. And I started questioning things in the relationship. Little things like, I want to be on a plane doing a gig. This is five years after the relationship. And I see a couple, and I see she's sitting in the middle and he's got the window. And I said, you know, first time we did that, I took the window and she had the middle. Why wouldn't I offer her the window? You know, little things.

[Brent Morin]

Oh, God, this is really hitting hard for me.

[Esther Povitsky]

Just little shit that you kind of put together.

[Brent Morin]

Bobby stayed in first class, and I was all the way in the back.

[Esther Povitsky]

So a lot of eight years, but a lot of self evaluating. And this is where I think, you know, to piggyback with Rick. We've talked about this, how we both want a relationship now. Like, it's not about hooking up or anything. I'm 38 now. I'm like, all right, I think I'm finally ready emotionally, kinda. I had some things happen in the last year that made that a little tougher. So I was like, yeah, but I'm like, all right, the next girl I meet is gonna be somebody I'm gonna date. So that's the only standard I have.

[Kalila]

Me right here.

[Esther Povitsky]

So that's. So I haven't been on a date in, like, Almost a year, so. Because it's just like, well, yeah, I could hook up. Or this. I'm not gonna date. That's not gonna work, you know?

[Kalila]

Well, that's really smart, too.

[Esther Povitsky]

It's like, at least try. It might not work. Which leads me to my next word. Ghosting. That's happening a lot to me. That one is the only one I knew. When I'm looking at this board, I was like, ghosting and me. They always disappear, don't they?

[Brent Morin]

Where are you at, Rick?

[Esther Povitsky]

Oh, he's the. Right now. This is the best he's ever looked.

[Brent Morin]

It is the best you've ever looked.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

I'm a bit of a sad boy.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah.

[Brent Morin]

Do you want to talk about it or no? Off camera.

[Rick Glassman]

You know what? I. I kind of do for some reason, but also, like, I've set some boundaries for myself of not, like, talking too much about my personal life on. On. On publicly, but, like, getting out of. Getting into a relationship is a big decision, as is getting out. And that transition both ways could be difficult. But getting out of a relationship with somebody when, like, you're like, oh, okay, maybe this is my person. Maybe I'm theirs. Maybe we could, you know, clean up the house a little bit before we're happy with where it is. And then it's like, the house never gets clean enough. There's so many reasons why that analogy isn't great, but, like. But, like, on its surface of just like, oh, you're working towards this thing, and then you're not anymore, and it's just like. It's. I'm just like. It's so hard. I'm. It's so hard. And, like, then the idea of, like, oh, well, find it with somebody else, it's like, I mean, I guess, but.

[Esther Povitsky]

I can't right now saying, let's just do it.

[Rick Glassman]

No, but you're still somebody else, dude.

[Esther Povitsky]

You know? What are you talking about? British me?

[Rick Glassman]

What does that mean?

[Esther Povitsky]

I think you know what it means.

[Rick Glassman]

Oh, yes. I really like your British.

[Esther Povitsky]

You just. I narrowed it down to one thing. This is all I'm looking for, because this is what my dad did. My parents are married 53 years. Find somebody who makes you the best version of you. That's all I'm looking for. A better version of me, you know, that's it. And trick her and pray she never.

[Rick Glassman]

Catches on, and find somebody that you offer enough value to do the same for her.

[Brent Morin]

Exactly.

[Esther Povitsky]

No, I know that. That's where I'm missing my point.

[Rick Glassman]

No, I wasn't no, no.

[Esther Povitsky]

You know what? Let's get out of here.

[Rick Glassman]

When I feel valuable in a relationship, I feel valuable. So, like, it feels really good to be able to offer things to your partner and for them to appreciate it and. Or want it not. Because what I have to offer is so great unless it is for that person. So that's a. That's a big part of the grieving thing too. Like, of like, I want somebody who I. Who makes me laugh, who I think is kind, who I think is so fucking hot, you know, like all of these things. And then like, also they have to be okay with what I am. Not only are they. They love that. They like that. I'm like, it's like, you know, and it's like, there we are. So then when you go like this, I'm like, wait a minute, am I not valuable to this person anymore or the other way around or both? And sometimes it's hard to know, like, do I feel disconnected from this person because they don't see the value in me, or am I not appreciating the value in them? So they're. And not that it's one or the other, but it's so confusing. And I also feel like if it was there at some point, we were either mistaken or resentment lost it. And it's like, I am somebody who, for better and for worse, I just like, let's figure it out. And I have a hard time knowing when to walk away. I also have a hard time believing that when I do, it was the right decision. And where. Where this idea of right or wrong. When you have this idea of right or wrong, I think it gets. It gets. It's. There isn't that, but that logically I understand that, but emotionally, I'm still, like, I'm still so connected to the person and missing it and wanting to figure it out. And like, the idea of getting into a relationship with somebody else, even just like dating somebody else during that, the idea is like, I am not going to be able to see this person's value because unfair to them. I'm like, I'm not even seeing them. I'm still like. I think they're a distraction. It's a. Watching a movie or something. And I very much am in touch with that. I've gone on some dates. I've had this conversation early in those dates. I, you know, kind of like what you were saying, letting the person know where you're at. But I also know that that's going to confuse them. It's going to Confuse me. And I might be shutting things down too soon, but, like, I can't. I can't do it. And I don't know. I'm also feeling myself. Like, I think that's enough.

[Esther Povitsky]

You've been going on dates.

[Rick Glassman]

I've gone on some dates, yeah. Thanks, man.

[Brent Morin]

Sometimes they just. Sometimes make you feel worse.

[Esther Povitsky]

Dates.

[Brent Morin]

Yeah. At least for me. I think the. The kindest thing I ever did for myself after my biggest breakup was be alone. And at that time, it felt horrible. It felt horrible to go on hikes alone. It felt horrible to eat out alone, to do anything alone. But it allowed me to just feel all of the horrible things in real time versus distraught, being distracted and then dealing with it down the road, possibly with someone new.

[Rick Glassman]

I've always. They had a long period of alone in between.

[Brent Morin]

Yeah.

[Esther Povitsky]

Which is good.

[Rick Glassman]

But this one in particular is a certain kind of alone. This kind of alone doesn't just feel like, hey, like, I've stepped back, I've worked on myself. I will continue to. I'm not. I'm not. I'm just saying, like, I've gone through those things to get to the point where I'm ready to offer myself in a way that I'm proud of. I'm there. That's why I was doing before I was feeling insecure in that relationship or I didn't realize this, that. Not that I know everything, but I'm like, I have a pretty good idea of who I am and what I want and what I have to offer. This alone is more so because, like, you know, when, you know, you didn't do stand up for a little bit. Right. And then part of it was because you're not. You don't want to prioritize it. Your. Your body's changing, your family is changing, your life has changed. Then it gets to a point where it's like, oh, but I've gone so long. I'm. Now I'm getting rusty. And how much of this is me not being ready because of where my priorities lie versus how much is. This is me feeling that ready because of fear? And I check in with myself of why and why not? And if it's fear, maybe I still won't do it. But at least I know this feels just like I'm. I'm still pregnant. It just feels like it's not fear. I just. I'm not. I can't right now.

[Kalila]

It's funny you say that, because I. So I grew up dancing, as you know, and me and the girls in my dance School would always.

[Rick Glassman]

Great dancer. You might have no idea. Like legitimately good dancer.

[Kalila]

We would always say that if we missed one week, we would also miss the next week because we were so scared to go back after missing a week. So it would always. One week would turn to two weeks because we were so scared. And that's how I feel with stand up too, which is like, I haven't gone. I missed. I didn't do a set for two weeks. I don't ever want to do it again. I'm too scared. I'll be bad. But you're saying that's not. You're. You're actually in this situation. You're not ready.

[Rick Glassman]

I'm scared, but I don't know if fear is the right word. But the negative emotion I'm feeling is not about dating other people. It's about still the grief I'm feeling of losing somebody. So it's like. Yeah, that's where my attention is. You know, if. If your body is hurting because of, you know, your. Your morning sicknesses and your daytime and your nighttime sicknesses and all the shit that you went through. I don't. Stand up isn't even in my fucking. Like, that's. I'm not. Maybe I'm scared to do stand up. I don't know. But I don't. That's not my priority right now. Like, my body hurts and I need to focus on. On that. And. And like, I mean, that's how it just like, I'm just. I mean, talking too much. I just. I'm really like.

[Esther Povitsky]

You're not talking.

[Kalila]

Can I ask how long. Long this period has been going on?

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah. Four. Four months.

[Kalila]

Okay, that's. That's reasonable to me. That's reasonable.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

But, hey, that's a short amount of time.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah.

[Esther Povitsky]

Why don't we jump into the dance together?

[Rick Glassman]

Hay is for horses, friend.

[Esther Povitsky]

Touche. So we're single.

[Rick Glassman]

Stan has been going great telling Brent on the way over here for the past little bit and. And the. For the first time. And I do. I don't think there's a correlation, but I am glad that. That I feel like good at something. When I. Part of the sadness was like feeling like I have value that I'm not able to offer or feel seen through, which is okay. Okay.

[Brent Morin]

So I have a little bit of old lady advice that I've learned from therapy. You know that feeling that you describe where it's like that. That and you feel just so deeply connected and, you know, everything is just firing and this person's funny. They get you.

[Kalila]

Is this gonna be what Dr. Drew told you?

[Brent Morin]

It's all similar.

[Rick Glassman]

It's all in ourselves.

[Brent Morin]

I spent a lifetime always chasing that. And the best decision I ever made was to do away with my criteria of they have to be funny, they have to be this. And I just chose someone great. And by whatever great is a definition that you yourself come up with. But for me, great was kind, reliable.

[Rick Glassman]

I know.

[Brent Morin]

Loyal, believe me, I. And all of these things. And maybe they didn't have all the bells and whistles I had previously chased in my 20s and 30s. And maybe they weren't as creative or all of these things, but they were so much. It turns out they are so much more than that. And they just make me feel. Feel like myself.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah, I agree.

[Brent Morin]

Feel so fully loved and they make me feel anchored.

[Rick Glassman]

I. I agree. I don't agree with the idea of somebody not being funny. I. Not that I'm. That I. If I'm not laughing, I need.

[Brent Morin]

If you need that. That's what I'm saying.

[Rick Glassman]

My whole family.

[Esther Povitsky]

That's his. I was just about to say your mom's the best killer we know. I think your mom's a killer for me.

[Brent Morin]

It's not that they have to be funny, they just have to. To understand your humor.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah, absolutely. And I like this ex I'm even thinking of now. It was like made me laugh a lot and if I didn't have that, I wouldn't have been as attracted to her.

[Brent Morin]

Did she make you cry a lot too though?

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah. I don't want to get into talking about that's that like any specific things other than what you're saying is top of the list. Absolutely. It's non negotiable. And then if somebody isn't that funny but they're interesting or they could teach me things, but at least we could still laugh at stuff together. I'm okay. But laughing with somebody, you're right, is non negotiable as well.

[Brent Morin]

That is a non negotiable for me as well. Like the laughing together. But they don't have to be a stand up, you know, level funny.

[Kalila]

Stand ups are not even that funny.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah, off, off, off stage. Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah. But like I said, like I connect with people through bits and like I want to be able to bit with her and I want her to want a bit with me and like I also want her to be able to say, hey, I don't like that bit. And I want to be able to be like read you loud and clear and Just, like, communicate and be direct and then learn from each other so eventually, like, you don't have to tell each other.

[Brent Morin]

Bonding.

[Rick Glassman]

And, like, what I have with him is. Is. Is Brent. When I say when Brent comes on, the numbers are low. Whatever might be real or whatever might be fake, I believe. And now I feel validated since you said we're just not that it's good or bad. It's just, like, we have that shorthand to where he knows my intention. And, like, you build that with somebody who's funny. And then, like, you also, like you each other and you love each other and stuff. It's, like, still on us. What's that?

[Esther Povitsky]

Still talking us. I cannot be a bottom with you. I've seen that route, that root. Root.

[Rick Glassman]

Oh, thanks, man.

[Esther Povitsky]

He's a big boy.

[Rick Glassman]

Thanks, buddy.

[Kalila]

His ass.

[Esther Povitsky]

No, we both have no ass.

[Brent Morin]

What are you looking for?

[Rick Glassman]

Bigger ass.

[Esther Povitsky]

Con woman. Oh, I don't know. Just a vagabond. Just a real loose woman. Just a rough. Just, you know, she chews tobacco and she calls me gay because I like zins. You know, she's all missionary, no creativity in the bedroom. But she reads. But she reads real, like, anarchist books. She's racist, but she says it's a joke. You know, just matted hair. But she's not ethnic, and I don't understand it. You know, pale all summer, just.

[Rick Glassman]

You want to date Wednesday Addams?

[Esther Povitsky]

No, no, no.

[Kalila]

Most men do.

[Esther Povitsky]

Mostly uglier. I want a real rough bitch. Oh, I don't know. Yeah, somebody. That's great. I have a similar thing. My mom's the funniest person in the family.

[Rick Glassman]

My mom's funnier than your mom.

[Esther Povitsky]

I know. It's two different styles of comedy. My mom is a New England, you know, ball buster.

[Kalila]

That's the best version of. My dad is stronger than your dad. That was awesome.

[Rick Glassman]

My mom's funnier than your mom.

[Esther Povitsky]

I would like funny, but, you know, you don't have to be intentionally funny. Sometimes it's really funny to be with somebody who's just accidentally funny and it makes you laugh. I love that. That, you know, I'll tell you my number one thing, self awareness. If she's self aware, you know, like, whether it's she says something kind of arrogant or she's not, something didn't work, and she's like, well, that was stupid. I shouldn't have said that. I love self awareness. That's like, number one. Then I'd say trust. Then I'd say looks. No, I think, you know, self Awareness is a big thing. Just dating a lot, you know, it's like you're not aware of how. You really don't get that you. That it wasn't the waiter's fault, you.

[Rick Glassman]

Know, just a restaurant awareness.

[Esther Povitsky]

I have older parents. I'm on the phone with my mom and dad, and I said, it's two days before his birthday. Go, dad, you're looking forward to 80. And my mom goes, the second he's 80, I'm out of here. I told my. I said this when I was younger. I'm not gonna be married to a fucking 80 year old. My dad's on the phone and I go, where are you gonna go? It's all planned. Don't worry. And then I call on the birthday. I go, you're not gone yet, Mom. She goes, well, I'm not gonna leave now. You leave at night, you get a hotel in advance. And my dad's like, huh? See? See what I'm dealing with? You know that stuff my mom would do? I love shit like that. Yeah, actually, she would put the pizzazz on.

[Rick Glassman]

I'm just joking.

[Esther Povitsky]

My mom would be the writer in the back, and your mom would be on stage coming back, yelling at my mom. Like, that didn't hit hard enough.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah, I know you're telling that story, and I'm just like, it's not my place. It's not my place, but just wrap it up.

[Brent Morin]

I have this theory that the funniest boys are funny moms, funny dads, and I think the funny girls come from funny dads.

[Kalila]

I think that that rings true with everyone I know.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah, my dad's unintentionally funny. That's how my mom, you know, my brothers are all funny. So everybody's one class clown. Except me, by the way.

[Kalila]

Okay, I know this is a part of the podcast where it feels like we've gotten to some deep, deep stuff and maybe we could use, like, a light subject, but I actually want to go back to something really dark that we all talked about.

[Esther Povitsky]

Oh, boy.

[Kalila]

And I'm really sorry it's not the murder. I am really. I'm finding myself still thinking about this, that you all started to nod your head and all in agreement, and it's that you all think about past pregnancies that have occurred and what that would be like if you had a kid that age. Because I have to tell you, when I'm in my darkest moments at night and my anxiety is running off, it's not so much that specific situation, but it's a miscarriage It's. Why didn't I try sooner? I could have had a child this age. And I. That is such a dark thought for me as of recently. And I. I just feel such a sense of, like, freedom to hear other people in the room share that. And I just, like, I don't know. I'm feeling very emotional. I just want to, like, thank you guys for being vulnerable and sharing that, because, again, that's not something that I would have wanted to say openly out loud because. But I do. I think about that. I go, well, I've been with my partner for X amount of years. Why didn't we get started sooner? And I. I know. I. We could sit down and we'd have a list of a bunch of reasons, and they would all make sense, but my mind just goes to, well, why didn't you? Why didn't you?

[Brent Morin]

You know, so also, there's a good chance, right? Like, you. You don't know. You can't rewind and know for sure if you would have. Have kept the pregnancy if it was. If you felt ready for it at that time, however long ago.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah.

[Brent Morin]

And so, I don't know.

[Kalila]

It's just a really hard subject. And I feel like in comedy, we just talk about, like, abortions or, like.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brent Morin]

It's been, like, fodder for my entire decade of podcasting.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Esther Povitsky]

You know, no, you find it's refreshing when you want to vault things, and then when you don't, somebody hits you up going, I needed to hear that. Or, you know, that's kind of the. The beauty of this art form. And don't take me not serious, because I have this thing on me. You know what? I don't want a baby anymore.

[Rick Glassman]

I do.

[Esther Povitsky]

Kidding. I do.

[Brent Morin]

How do you.

[Kalila]

I'm so impressed with that. I didn't even know that I wanted it. This is my whole thing. I didn't know I wanted kids. I didn't know I wanted a baby. And the fact that, like, so I'm. This is all hitting me now where I never wanted one. I'm like, why didn't I? I'm just so impressed that you guys know you want them.

[Rick Glassman]

I wanted a baby for years. I wanted a dog for years. It took me years to get him.

[Brent Morin]

I will say there's a lot. There's a bigger cost for that decision for women. So that's why we're like, oh, should we. Should we not? Because, I mean, our organs get pushed up to our throat.

[Rick Glassman]

Same with every time you have sex with me. It's the same thing.

[Esther Povitsky]

It's got a root.

[Brent Morin]

That's been my favorite lore, by the way. Well, my favorite lore about myself that I read is that you and I had a thing.

[Esther Povitsky]

Really cool.

[Rick Glassman]

I don't know all the gossip that has happened on podcast stuff. I haven't watched them. I just know there was some stuff with different people, different times, and I found out about that stuff because people were messaging me because names weren't said. Maybe they have been released now, I don't know, or it's been proven not real or whatever. But I would get tagged and stuff and message stuff that, like, it was like, I've been doing that, or we've been doing stuff. I still get messages and stuff about it. I don't know if it's my favorite lore, because I do feel like it puts me in a position. Like, I don't want to respond to any of it, and I don't. But it does put me in a position where it's like, well, if you don't say anything, then it proves everything and it's blown over. But I used to get so many messages about it.

[Esther Povitsky]

It's my never win.

[Brent Morin]

Because it's so absurd to me. Not this.

[Rick Glassman]

You know, I've been in relationships, and there was no time.

[Brent Morin]

It's always you or Theo. That's the two.

[Kalila]

I always hear Theo about you.

[Brent Morin]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

And why is that? Because, pardon me if I mean, you opened this door, but, like, was it said that it was a comedian?

[Brent Morin]

I don't even know what was said or why. No, I have no idea.

[Esther Povitsky]

It's the Internet. You'll never win. You respond, you lose either way.

[Brent Morin]

It's true.

[Rick Glassman]

There is also a part of me that's always flattered when I'm part of a conversation of someone being desired. I'm not gonna lie to you.

[Kalila]

That's a guy thing.

[Esther Povitsky]

I had that with Jordana Brewster. I did a game show with her. Super sweet. I met her fiance there, and we just were partners on this game show. And then my older brother just sends me. He goes, are you dating Jordana Brewster? I go, no, but that's cool. I was like, no. I'm sitting here with cautious come. You think she's gonna hang out with me? She's fast and furious.

[Rick Glassman]

There's a girl who I went out with one time during the day to get coffee years ago, and paparazzi took pictures of it.

[Brent Morin]

Oh, I think I know who.

[Rick Glassman]

Well, if you do, it's not worth putting anything up here right now.

[Brent Morin]

The only reason I know Is because I love her.

[Rick Glassman]

She's amazing.

[Brent Morin]

She's an Australian pop like icon.

[Esther Povitsky]

All right, Rick.

[Kalila]

Let the record show I don't know who it is.

[Rick Glassman]

So the picture. So, so we were walking after coffee together and then she. Something like her body language changed and to enough to where I'm like, what just happened? And I look around and I see, oh, there are people like hiding in bushes taking pictures and stuff. So I stop walking at her speed and just like let her walk ahead. And I kind of went like this, like, and, and there's a few pictures, one of which is her like 8ft in front of me and me like this. But it looks like I'm looking down at her butt like this. And, and just, you know, captions of blah, blah, blah, blah. In my, in my Instagram bio, it says hashtag Jewish heart. I used to do a bit about how I'm not good looking enough to be a heartthrob, but maybe I could be like a niche heartthrob. And the, the. Those Daily man, all these things. And one of them was this person with Jewish heartthrob. And I was, I was like, I didn't like the picture because it looked like I was like looking at her, but I didn't like that. This isn't true. I'm uncomfortable. We went on one thing together, but there was a part of me that was like, it's cool that they didn't say self proclaimed Jewish heartthrob, you know, like, oh, they think I'm this Jewish heartthrob that this pop star, you know, is into.

[Brent Morin]

It was so funny. So it was flattering because I'm a fan of hers. I actually.

[Rick Glassman]

So how did you come across that?

[Brent Morin]

You just googled it by accident? Because I, you know, why don't you.

[Rick Glassman]

Ever ask me about it?

[Brent Morin]

And then I was like, but then I. We weren't friends yet.

[Rick Glassman]

Oh, got it.

[Brent Morin]

We weren't friends yet. And I would see you at the Comedy Store. And I was like, is that so and so's Jewish heartthrob?

[Esther Povitsky]

Cool.

[Brent Morin]

And I remember telling Bobby and I'm like, wait a second. Like he used to date so and so. And I even showed him the picture. And it's so crazy how it's just one moment, one coffee date.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah. But admitting like, you know, an ego thing, like the fact that like not even that other. The fact that just that like whoever wrote the article and I think I'm a catch, but whoever the article thought like, wait a minute, you just. From this, you're assuming that, you know, this girl is interested, I was just like, it's flattering.

[Esther Povitsky]

It's validating.

[Rick Glassman]

So when people are like, oh, you hear Glassman's, you know, pumping Kalila's guts full of lead from home alone, I'm like, I don't want that's rumors brought out there, but like, what people think. Like I'm this little, like this guy that like fucking girls and stuff. People like me.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

You know, spread your rumors. Spread your rumors.

[Esther Povitsky]

So spread away, people.

[Brent Morin]

Spread it. Well, stop spreading.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah, you know what? Stop spreading, people. I don't know what to do. I just.

[Rick Glassman]

Ricky's on the loose tour. I am on the road. Most of my dates are coming to an end by May. I'm starting up again in August. Go to Punchup LiverickGlassman to find out when I'll be in your city. I'm also in April, May, June and August doing a live take your shoes off here in LA up there. And April 5th at the Hollywood Improv. Rick Glassman and friends. I would like to cordially invite you, if you're in town, to be one of them. I'm going to be recording a podcast in the green room during this and do a show. I'm doing the thing I was telling you about. Yeah. And I want to find some friends to. To. To do it with. And April 5th, if you would like to. To come on. So tickets at Punchup Live R. Glassman. You could let me know now or another time.

[Kalila]

I have to look and see when I'm back in town.

[Rick Glassman]

You're invited.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah, I'm shooting a Marvel movie.

[Rick Glassman]

Spread it. Just have you have the numbers.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a dip now.

[Rick Glassman]

No, we'd love to have you too.

[Kalila]

Are you going on tour?

[Esther Povitsky]

Call back.

[Kalila]

Are you going on tour?

[Esther Povitsky]

No, I'm not on tour. I'm stopping comedy and I'm gonna do music.

[Kalila]

Can I join you? I'll be your backup dancer.

[Esther Povitsky]

Oh, my God. Let's do it.

[Kalila]

Okay, good.

[Esther Povitsky]

I just gotta figure out how to write a song. No, I'm doing gig sparing.

[Rick Glassman]

Minnesota, Wisconsin, San Jose, Chicago, March 21st and 22nd.

[Kalila]

And also I'm doing a Belly Room show again this week if you want to do it.

[Rick Glassman]

Love to.

[Kalila]

Okay.

[Esther Povitsky]

Right here.

[Kalila]

Yeah, I'd love to have both of you.

[Esther Povitsky]

No, I got it.

[Kalila]

No, that's considerate.

[Esther Povitsky]

Books just asked him to prom, but.

[Rick Glassman]

Looked at me and said you could drive us.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah, you want to go? We're trying to get the money for the limo. If you just want to come with yourself.

[Kalila]

He did the last one. I was going to ask him. I'd love to have you both. For sure. 100 it won't. We have passed March 13th. This Thursday. It will have passed before this comes out.

[Esther Povitsky]

But happiness is a water cup and a marathon. I'll get my drink soon enough.

[Rick Glassman]

Gladly. Your shows.

[Brent Morin]

I don't have any.

[Rick Glassman]

Not with that attitude.

[Brent Morin]

No.

[Kalila]

We're gonna maybe change our name.

[Brent Morin]

Oh yeah.

[Kalila]

That's what we wanted to make to banana break.

[Esther Povitsky]

Oh, is that why there's bananas?

[Kalila]

Kind of nice.

[Brent Morin]

We've always had bananas.

[Rick Glassman]

I don't mind that name.

[Brent Morin]

Oh, that's a compliment coming from something that's.

[Esther Povitsky]

I'm gonna start a podcast. Rick keeps asking me to do it and I gotta do one.

[Brent Morin]

That's a great name. Rick keeps asking.

[Rick Glassman]

I also think I got the dates wrong. The live take your shoes off in LA is April 5th. The the Rick Glassman and friends. The stand up that I want you to go to is April 14th. So let's go to my school.

[Kalila]

What is the difference?

[Rick Glassman]

I do. I've been doing live take your shoes off podcasts.

[Kalila]

What do you do?

[Rick Glassman]

I have a couple of guests on and we're funny as shit. I'll be honest with you. It's been like feeling really good.

[Kalila]

Do you do it only in la.

[Rick Glassman]

I've been doing it Dynasty typewriter. Only in LA so far. Yeah. And also if you're not in la, streaming it. Streaming it live and I don't know, go to the squat up or something. Just go to the punchup livericklassman and.

[Brent Morin]

It'Ll have all the instructions on your hair.

[Rick Glassman]

I shampoo twice a week. I condition every time I shower and then I put in two things. One is hair store hairstory, one pump and then two pumps of. What's it called where it has the zero, the small degree symbol and then the number six starts with an O.

[Esther Povitsky]

O six degree zero.

[Brent Morin]

Olaplex.

[Rick Glassman]

Yes. I think. Good. Are we happy?

[Brent Morin]

No. Can I have you do an experiment for my hair care brand?

[Rick Glassman]

Yes.

[Brent Morin]

Specifically because it's all clean prod, all clean ingredients, but it is incredible with curly hair.

[Rick Glassman]

Next time I come on here or next if you guys come back on my podcast, I will use your product beforehand and we could talk about it.

[Brent Morin]

Evolution Club Guys, calm. I will also give you some.

[Esther Povitsky]

No, I get it. You know what? Ew.

[Kalila]

Slugs. We love you. Thank you for being here. Thank you to our amazing guests Brent Morin and Alvin and we'll see you next.

[Rick Glassman]

See why after all that and you say stuff like that.

[Kalila]

We'll see you next week with a brand new episode.