STEFFIE BAIK abandoned ANDREA JIN in Korea

Summary

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Trash Tuesday w/ Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn

Episode: STEFFIE BAIK abandoned ANDREA JIN in Korea

Date: September 30, 2025

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Episode Overview

This episode is a classic, sprawling "Trash Tuesday" hangout featuring hosts Esther Povitsky and Khalyla Kuhn, plus their friends and guests: comedian and model Steffi Baik (“Steffi B”) and stand-up Andrea Jin (“Andrea Chin”). Together, they spiral through hilarious and vulnerable conversations ranging from the complexities of friendship and travel (including an abandonment saga in Korea), to intense takes on hygiene, sharing food, and intergenerational family psychology. As always, the episode is laced with the hosts’ signature offbeat warmth, honest confessions, and fast-paced banter, making it both laugh-out-loud funny and unexpectedly heartfelt.

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Key Discussion Points & Timestamps

1. Foot Fetish Anxiety & The Politics of Podcasting Feet

[02:13 - 06:20]

• Khalyla shares her self-consciousness about revealing her feet due to online sexualization ("I never used to care until it was obviously sexualized. And then dudes were like, 'Oh, I drew off to your feet all day.' And then I'm like, oh, I gotta take it back..." — Khalyla, 02:28).
• Steffi claims her own feet are a "circus trick" and should be studied.
• Andrea jokes that dead, translucent feet are "gothic" (03:01).
• The group dissects how the internet fetishizes “abnormal” feet, and how hiding them only increases their mystique.

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2. Apple Sales, Confusion, and Ranking Apples

[07:07 - 09:46]

• Steffi’s surprising side gig as an “apple sales lady” is revealed, causing confusion ("I thought you meant like Apple as in Mac store," Khalyla laughs, 07:21).
• The group nerds out over apple types, specifically Honeycrisp and the newly hyped Ever Crisp (“They're a Honeycrisp, but slightly sweeter with a slight tartness... even crunchier.”—Andrea, 08:35).
• Steffi describes her ideal apple: “so tight and wet and...crunchy, tight butt holes.” (09:19)
• The dynamic quickly spins from earnest to absurd as they banter about apple texture and seasonal obsession.

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3. Dog-Sitting Drama & Friendship Commitments

[10:38 - 13:36]

• Khalyla reveals Andrea asked for her to dog-sit Pingu, but then “abandoned” her after visa issues prevented Andrea’s trip (“Come the day of when I’m supposed to receive Pingu, just crickets. I’m like, where’s Pingu?” — Khalyla, 12:16).
• Andrea apologizes and blames visa drama; Esther commiserates.
• Steffi tries to jump in and volunteer to dog-sit Pingu, sparking a comedic rivalry over the right to care for the beloved pup.

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4. Korea Trip: Intimacy, Abandonment & Attachment Issues

[14:48 - 17:32]

• Esther accuses Steffi of abandoning her post-Korea trip: “She left before me. She abandoned me…in Korea.” (15:19)
• Both women joke about shared abandonment issues, with Andrea confessing she “attached quickly” and then detached (“I felt better off leaving you,” Andrea, 15:24).
• They discuss the emotional intimacy forged while traveling together sober.
• The hosts share their own travel-related fights, including a spat about oat milk in Hawaii (16:45), showing how traveling can magnify small anxieties.

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5. Family Structures & Parent-Sibling Weirdness

[18:36 - 21:16]

• Steffi floats her theory that growing up in the same house as her dad (who also grew up there) makes them feel like siblings: “I was raised in my grandparents’ house…my dad and I are siblings because we were raised in the same house. Does that seem really outrageous?” (19:36)
• The others are baffled but entertained by this riff on family systems.
• Esther reciprocates with her own blurred family boundaries, seeing her mom as a sibling.

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6. Parented Parenting & Emotional Labor

[22:02 - 25:36]

• Andrea shares her history of taking on “dad duties” after her own father passed when she was young; she took care of her sister and mother (“I was a father figure. Yeah. My family would concur.” — Andrea, 22:12).
• Both she and Khalyla describe being forced into a caretaker role for emotionally immature mothers, leading to adult guilt/resignation for being “snappy” or “corrective” toward their moms (“I correct her a lot, and I don’t like that…It doesn’t make me feel good.” — Khalyla, 26:42).
• The group discusses therapy and the struggle to separate one's ego from caretaking.

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7. Empathy, Healing, and Parenting as a Mirror

[29:03 - 32:09]

• Emotional breakthrough: The women reflect on realizing the depth of their parents' love only after becoming parents themselves (“This is what I am to my parents. Yes.” — Steffi, 32:01).
• Steffi recounts how witnessing her own child in crisis unlocked a new empathy for her parents, paralleling Amanda Knox’s famous prison story.
• The emotional tone heightens: “No matter what, she is the top tier goddess in my life.” — Andrea, 31:16

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8. Petty Cash, Bloody Sheets, and Habitual Frugality

[37:02 - 41:00]

• Khalyla admits to rolling around in bloody sheets and apologizes for shaming Esther’s similar confession earlier in the season (“Bloody sheets do happen, guys.” — Khalyla, 38:10).
• Esther and others confess to post-period frugality: skimping on pads, underwear, and even reusing bloody sheets to “save money.”
• Grapefruit hoarding and hotel hardboiled eggs: Esther’s “waste not, want not” habits trigger laughter and “hoarder” jokes.

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9. Buffet Strategies and Cultural Differences in Eating

[41:00 - 44:07]

• Intense debate over buffet tactics: value-per-bite, length of stay, what counts as getting your money’s worth (“Buffet is like an Olympic sport…if we’re paying $46, I need you to go heavy on the prime rib." — Khalyla, 41:32).
• Soda and carbs at buffets are scorned; clean-plate etiquette divides couples.
• “Always have a big purse” for smuggling leftovers, says Steffi.

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10. Sharing Food, Boundaries, and Microbiome Anxiety

[49:31 - 65:35]

• Chip drama: Steffi tells of being shocked when a near-stranger asked for a chip, triggering a debate about food boundaries ("You really want to take one of my chips? I said that." — Steffi B, 50:04).
• The crew dives deep on when it’s acceptable to share plates, gendered food expectations, and the etiquette of requesting bites at a restaurant.
• Sharing toothbrushes and microbiome horror: Steffi’s strict “no share” rules (“I won’t even share toothpaste.” — Steffi B, 61:23), set against Khalyla and Esther’s relaxed approach (“At some point...like, him and I are gonna have, like, the same microbiome.” — Khalyla, 60:35).
• Esther offers her fecal matter for a transplant, which is received as an "honor" by Andrea.

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11. Pop Culture Attachments & Only Child Explanations

[46:10 - 48:05]

• Esther and Steffi reflect on their lack of enthusiasm for new pop idols, linking it to having found “celebrity mommies” in Madonna and Gaga, or being only children with profound attachments to old favorites.
• Debate over whether being an only child breeds individuality or selfishness when it comes to food and attention.

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12. Ending, Tour Plugs, and Closing Banter

[66:31 - END]

• Final riffs on poop donations (“It benefits my...one single poop benefits two people.” — Esther, 65:25).
• Andrea and Steffi plug their tours: Steffi’s “Pretty Little Baby Tour” and Andrea’s spring shows.
• Final thanks and exuberant goodbyes.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

Foot Fetish Discourse

• "[My feet] just look unused." — Steffi B [03:05]
• "People want, like, the dead feet." — Esther [06:08]

Apple Obsession

• "If you are in the heart of Honeycrisp season…the texture, when you bite into it, should be almost like a perfect watermelon. It should be so tight and wet and—Sorry." — Steffi B [09:19]

Abandonment in Korea

• "She left before me. She abandoned me…in Korea." — Esther [15:19]
• "I think I was... felt better off leaving you." — Andrea [15:24]
• "Both have abandonment issues." — Steffi [15:25]

Family Roles

• "I see my mom as my sibling also." — Esther [21:33]

Toothbrush & Microbiome Exchange

• "At some point… him and I are gonna have the same microbiome." — Khalyla [60:35]
• "I won’t even share toothpaste." — Steffi B [61:23]
• "Would you rather not brush your teeth at all?" — Andrea [61:08]

On Being Petty With Food

• "You really want to take one of my chips?" — Steffi B [50:04]
• "If I don’t like their boyfriend…I don’t want any of his, like, is there chemicals near me." — Esther [57:14]

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Thematic Highlights

• Intimacy and Boundaries: The episode centers around how boundaries shift across close friendships, family, and romantic relationships—whether in dog-sitting, food-sharing, or emotional caretaking.
• Food & Frugality: Food quirks and money-saving hacks (from buffets to period underwear) become metaphors for deeper anxieties and attachments.
• Growth, Therapy & Forgiveness: Earnest conversations about therapy, emotional labor, family trauma, and the struggle to break unhealthy patterns, especially as the hosts become parents themselves.

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Useful for New Listeners

Whether you’re in it for the wild irreverence, the emotional resonance, or to simply witness friends roast and heal each other in equal measure, this episode captures the fullest spectrum of “Trash Tuesday’s” humor and heart. New listeners will find this a perfect encapsulation of the show’s knack for finding the poignant within the petty, and the relatable within the ridiculous.

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For tour dates and more:

• Steffi B: @steffybake
• Andrea Jin: @andreajin
• Trash Tuesday: @itstrashtuesday

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Transcript

[Kalila]

This podcast is brought to you by Skims. I have a pair of boxers.

[Esther]

Skims.

[Kalila]

And how do you love them? It's like, I'm not wearing boxers.

[Esther]

It's just free range out there. That's how comfortable these skims are for me.

[Kalila]

Shop our favorite bras and [e-mail] after you place your order, be sure to let them know we sent you. Select podcast in the survey and be sure to select Trash Tuesday in the dropdown menu that follows.

[Esther]

Skims. Ice cream is a frill. It's not a necessity. So if there's a line, everybody chose to be there. You know, it's a hot take. So, like, you're choosing to line up for ice cream. That's silly. You know what I mean?

[Steffi B]

You're in this silly world now.

[Esther]

You're giving up this time. Like, you're not lining up for bread.

[Kalila]

Or it's not a basic or meat.

[Esther]

Yeah, yeah. Like where you need it. So it's like, oh, oh, I'm starving. Like, nobody's starving for ice cream. You know, it's gonna be a line.

[Steffi B]

Hi.

[Esther]

Hey, guys.

[Steffi B]

Hi, slugs. I am right now backstage at the Comedy Store getting ready for my tour, and I just wanted to let you know that this Saturday night, October 4th, I will be in Portland. Portland, Oregon, heard of it? One of my favorite cities. I can't wait to eat all your food. I will be at the Aladdin theater and you can get [e-mail] or the link below. Okay, I gotta get out of here.

[Kalila]

I love you guys. Hey, sluggies. I don't know if you know, but we have a producer tier. Halloween is coming up. We're planning a bunch of themed episodes. And what's really cool is if you sign up for the producer tier, you get to dictate what we do, how we dress, what the theme is. You get to send in advice. You get to send in ideas for segments. And we are at the mercy of your suggestions. So go sign up for that. And also, thank you, thank you, thank you to our golden slug, Brandon. I'll tell you a couple things about Brandon. Extremely hot, extremely successful, from Texas, Brandon. You don't know him, but he's the homie. Thank you, Brandon. Go get thank you from Jaime Garcia.

[Steffi B]

Oh, what's going on with your feet, though?

[Kalila]

Oh, I forgot my socks, and I don't want to show. Obviously the feet.

[Steffi B]

Go, Mike, you want to show your.

[Kalila]

Dead feet, and that's okay. I don't want to show my feet at all.

[Steffi B]

But why are you like. It's really why.

[Kalila]

It's more like, I think I never used to care until it was obviously sexualized. And then dudes were like, oh, I drew off to your feet all day. And then I'm like, oh, I gotta take it back because I don't want you doing that.

[Steffi B]

I'm just surprised that you're like, this is a. My feet are a situation that has to be dealt with.

[Kalila]

It is a situation that has to be dealt with. And you know what? Yours are too, for different reasons. Have you seen her feet?

[Andrea Chin]

No. Can. Can I?

[Steffi B]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

There's no blood flow. Brace yourself.

[Steffi B]

They just look.

[Andrea Chin]

Oh my God.

[Kalila]

They're dead, right?

[Andrea Chin]

They're gorgeous.

[Steffi B]

No, they're not gorgeous.

[Andrea Chin]

They're like gothic.

[Kalila]

That's exactly it.

[Steffi B]

They just look unused.

[Andrea Chin]

But that's like the dream. That's what people want to see. They want to see, like.

[Steffi B]

I don't know, I think they want like life and blood flow.

[Kalila]

But I think Bobby calls them Cate Blanchett feet.

[Steffi B]

Mine.

[Kalila]

Yeah. I mean, anything that has no blood flow.

[Andrea Chin]

Like translucent.

[Kalila]

Yeah, translucent.

[Steffi B]

He always calls me translucent and that. I have the energy of an 1800s ghost.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Steffi B]

But that's because one day we were at the Comedy Store and I walk in the green and he's sitting there with Russell Brand. And mind you, this was like peak. Russell brand. Like 2010. Like Peak.

[Kalila]

No one bigger. Yeah, yeah.

[Steffi B]

And like I was. I just got to the Comedy Store. Like, I don't want to. Like, if I see a famous person, like, I go the other way. Like, they don't want anything to do with me. And so I walked in the room like this and then I just walked out like that. And then he's been calling me a ghost ever since then. I've been like, well, I think that's the right. I think you should be a ghost.

[Kalila]

Let's get more specific. I don't think it's just a ghost. It's like a 12 year old boy ghost. It's like prepubescent 12 year old boy.

[Steffi B]

Well, a little girl is usually scarier. Traditionally, that's true.

[Andrea Chin]

But there is nothing creepier than like a horny 12 year old.

[Steffi B]

Ew. Like.

[Andrea Chin]

Oh, right.

[Steffi B]

Ew. Now I'm really scared. Why do you even know about that? I'm sorry, do you have a little brother or something?

[Andrea Chin]

I. I don't. But that's why I'm even more fascinated by not, not to weird boys, but just, just like boys. I'm like, curious about them. We didn't have a boy in the household. So I'm like, yeah, I would learn everything off of, like, Cosmopolitan magazine.

[Kalila]

This is what boys do.

[Andrea Chin]

This is what they like, you know? So, yeah, that's all. But back to feet.

[Steffi B]

No, thanks.

[Andrea Chin]

I actually wore nice socks because I knew that was a thing.

[Kalila]

Those are great.

[Steffi B]

Those are cute.

[Andrea Chin]

Thank you so much.

[Steffi B]

Those are really cute.

[Andrea Chin]

I'm glad that guys totally get it, because I was trying to tell my friends about the whole sock thing and, like. Or, like, podcasting and feet. Like, it's. It's really a thing. Like, it's, like, one of the only things I think about before potting is.

[Steffi B]

Like, is hiding your feet.

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Steffi B]

What is up with you guys?

[Kalila]

I think what you're doing, though, is the correct route, which is, like, have at it, and, like, it loses its luster.

[Steffi B]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

Like, if you. If I give you all my dead feet, then you'll max out on dead feet and you'll never think about it again. I think now the hiding makes them want it more because people are disgusting. Now the allure is there because they're like, oh, she's not giving. She's teasing me. So maybe I should just go full blast feed.

[Steffi B]

Well, I'm at an advantage here because I do. My feet are like a circus trick. Like, they're really special, and they should be studied and they should be seen. So I can't even really be in the same conversation as you guys because you guys probably have normal feet. So I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.

[Andrea Chin]

I think you just need, like, a little massage. Like, anyone give you a massage over the bones?

[Kalila]

No.

[Andrea Chin]

It gets a flow in there.

[Steffi B]

I know you think that, but you're wrong. Okay?

[Andrea Chin]

The crazy thing is actually, like, that's.

[Esther]

What they want, though.

[Kalila]

The dead is the Internet. The feet, people want, like, the feet.

[Esther]

Like, not a normal foot.

[Steffi B]

No, that's wrong.

[Esther]

I swear.

[Andrea Chin]

They pay big money.

[Kalila]

You could be, like, a millionaire.

[Steffi B]

That's not true. Wait, by the way, I realized that some people have been commenting, like, who's the male voice in the room? So we should formally introduce Guy.

[Andrea Chin]

Hello.

[Steffi B]

He is our resident Guy. And we don't just call him Guy because we're, you know, sexist and rude. Even though that is something I would do.

[Kalila]

Guy is such a slept on name.

[Steffi B]

It's a nice name.

[Kalila]

Wait, is Guy a nickname? Or Guy is, like, your government name?

[Andrea Chin]

No, it's my real name.

[Kalila]

Yeah. That's incredible. Imagine having a baby and, like, that's Guy.

[Steffi B]

That is cute.

[Kalila]

Guy Ritchie. It's a really cool, like, chic name, I think. Wait, your last name is Baek or bike?

[Andrea Chin]

You said it right the first time.

[Kalila]

Baek, right?

[Andrea Chin]

Yeah. Peek in Korean. Peek.

[Esther]

Baek.

[Andrea Chin]

Yeah. Should I make everyone say it like that?

[Steffi B]

We were just talking about her wholesome side gig as an Apple sales lady.

[Kalila]

Oh, my God.

[Andrea Chin]

I didn't know this.

[Kalila]

No, the only other side gig I know you do is you sell apples.

[Steffi B]

That's what I just said. Apple sales lady. Are you here?

[Kalila]

I thought you meant like Apple as in mat store.

[Steffi B]

Oh, my God. I did say sales ladies and I.

[Kalila]

Was like, oh, my God. Compute. Apple and Apple. How cute.

[Andrea Chin]

Wait, that's so hot. You thought I was a techie girl selling apples, but there's no way I.

[Kalila]

Could have been selling sales lady for you. Tripping me up bit.

[Steffi B]

Honestly, I'm glad this is coming up because apples.

[Andrea Chin]

Apples.

[Steffi B]

Yeah.

[Esther]

Are.

[Kalila]

Thank you for. Yeah. You have to clarify with me. My brain works a little funky.

[Steffi B]

They're so, so high tech to me that they should be called sales. Like it should evoke Apple technologies because they're so important to me in my life, as you may know that that would make sense why I tripped you up.

[Kalila]

Gosh.

[Steffi B]

The respect that I give Apple is.

[Kalila]

What is the bioengineering that actually goes into making a Honeycrisp for this bitch daily breakfast.

[Andrea Chin]

Damn, I wish I knew that. Like, I don't know.

[Kalila]

Rank the apples, Steffi.

[Andrea Chin]

The types of apples. Oh my gosh.

[Steffi B]

Do you try them at work?

[Andrea Chin]

Oh, my God, I'm eating them all day.

[Steffi B]

Whatever. Yeah, rank them.

[Andrea Chin]

Oh, gosh. Honeycrisp is pretty high, but have you had an Ever Crisp?

[Steffi B]

No.

[Andrea Chin]

They'Re a Honeycrisp, but slightly sweeter with a slight tartness to it. And even crunchier than a Honeycrisp.

[Steffi B]

Crunchier, Crunchier.

[Andrea Chin]

Can you imagine?

[Kalila]

What is it about the Honeycrisp that you like? Is it the crunchiness or the taste?

[Steffi B]

Okay, it's the firmness. It's the sweet mixed with the tart. So it's never going to be too tart. Ideally, it's never going to be too sweet. It's like right in that perfect what you dream of an apple tasting like. And again, it's not mushy, it's not mealy, it's just a perf. And if you are in the heart of Honeycrisp Apple season, I'm telling you, that texture, when you bite into it, should be almost like a perfect watermelon. It should be so tight and wet and Sorry.

[Kalila]

Crunchy, tight butt holes.

[Steffi B]

It's just unlike anything else because an apple. The range is so depressing. I mean, I. Please, let me.

[Andrea Chin]

So excited you are about the apples.

[Steffi B]

This is like, you probably shouldn't talk to me because I'm like, too weird.

[Andrea Chin]

I didn't know. I know. You were there and you're always excited about the apples, but never to this extent. It's quite like you're quite nerding out on the apple.

[Steffi B]

I have to play it cool at the apple stand because if you guys knew, you'd be charging me double and you'd have a sign with my picture on it. Do not sell this woman apples.

[Andrea Chin]

Like so we have. Oh, look who it is.

[Steffi B]

Hi. Hi.

[Kalila]

Oh, that's okay.

[Andrea Chin]

You look so cute.

[Steffi B]

Oh, my God. Sexy.

[Kalila]

We said comfy fall outfit and look at this one.

[Steffi B]

This is too sexy for us.

[Kalila]

It's too sexy.

[Esther]

Isn't that fall?

[Andrea Chin]

No, it's beautiful.

[Esther]

It's a sweater.

[Andrea Chin]

Did you think about your feet at all for the pod?

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Andrea Chin]

You did, right?

[Esther]

No, I didn't. No, I didn't. Why would I think about my feet?

[Steffi B]

Thank you, queen.

[Andrea Chin]

Yeah, I don't know. It's like the thing I'm really self conscious about is that people are going to stare at my feet feet. So I just thought. And were there some other people on the pod who agree with it? So I just thought maybe not everyone. Not everyone.

[Kalila]

Esther's okay with showing all 10 toes.

[Steffi B]

Kaleila, will you introduce our guests?

[Kalila]

Sure. You guys, today is a very special episode. Welcome to Fall.

[Esther]

It's fall.

[Kalila]

It is fall. It's still balls hot outside. Today we have two very special girls and friends of ours. Hottie model, apple sales lady, apparently funny girl podcaster Steffi B. Oh, come on. Of course. And over here, over here to my right. You've seen her on tour with Bill Burr. She had lines all. All over with Bobby, with John Mulaney. John Mulaney. All the big ones. Ronnie Chan.

[Esther]

Wow.

[Kalila]

Funny girl. Andrea Ginn.

[Esther]

Thank you.

[Steffi B]

Hilarious. Stand up.

[Esther]

Thank you.

[Kalila]

Before you got here, I was like, I have a bone to pick with Andrea.

[Esther]

Oh, my God. I have a bone to pick with Steffi.

[Kalila]

Oh, do you have a bone to pick with her?

[Esther]

No, I love Esther.

[Andrea Chin]

Maybe I'll find something today.

[Steffi B]

Oh, you will. You all will. You're gonna leave here being like, that girl is so cute.

[Esther]

Wait, tell me.

[Kalila]

Watching people's dogs is like really like a. He already knows.

[Esther]

Yes. Continue. Yes.

[Kalila]

Steffi will be like, hey, can you watch Pingu? I'M not Stephy. Andrea will be like, hey, can you watch Pingu? Her dog?

[Steffi B]

Her cute little dog who I'm cap of stealing. I just want you to know, like, if your dog is missing, it's me. I would kidnap your dog. It's so cute. Okay, sorry. Keep going.

[Kalila]

And she's like, can you watch Pingu from this day to this date? So I was like, oh, like, that's a two week commitment. Like, I take really seriously. Yeah, right? And so I was like, yeah. And I was, like, really getting excited. I was like, oh, hey, we're gonna set up for Pingu here.

[Esther]

That's so nice.

[Kalila]

And then come the day of when I'm supposed to receive Pingu, like, just cricket. No crickets. I'm like, where's Pingu?

[Esther]

Oh, my God. Wait. Can I tell you what happened?

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Esther]

I had visa issues.

[Kalila]

That's what it was.

[Esther]

Yeah. Because I was supposed to go to Canada.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Esther]

And then the days leading up, everyone in the world was mad at me. Like, all of the, like, my reps, the festival people, everybody was like, what's going on? And then my visa had issues, and so I should have messaged you sooner.

[Kalila]

You're sad about Pingu.

[Esther]

I'm sorry.

[Kalila]

Oh, we have company. You know I take when I watch donuts.

[Steffi B]

I know. You integrate her. Her into your family.

[Kalila]

I gave the pep talk to my dogs. I was like, hey, Pingu's gonna be here for two weeks. You guys have to behave.

[Esther]

I know. It was such a long. And I was so thankful that you said yes. And then. Yeah, my visa.

[Kalila]

That's not your fault.

[Steffi B]

So you didn't get to go.

[Esther]

I didn't get to go. It was jfl. I didn't get to go.

[Andrea Chin]

That is a really good excuse.

[Steffi B]

What was the issue?

[Esther]

Yeah. And then the second time, I did it again. I did it again. But I was supposed to go to Hawaii, but I was, like, ill. I was sick.

[Kalila]

Oh, that's right. You were dying. Yeah.

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Andrea Chin]

Also a great excuse.

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Steffi B]

Can I watch Pingu?

[Esther]

I would love.

[Kalila]

If you watch Pingu before I watch Pingu, I'm gonna be really mad.

[Steffi B]

I want to.

[Kalila]

Don't you fucking dare.

[Steffi B]

I never, like, I never go at it with you.

[Kalila]

Her dog is not friendly. Doesn't like other dogs. Not gonna like it there.

[Esther]

Donut is not friendly. No.

[Kalila]

Is Donut friendly with other dogs?

[Steffi B]

Donut? I wouldn't call her unfriendly. I would just say she's not that interested.

[Esther]

Okay.

[Steffi B]

You are.

[Andrea Chin]

Like a cat kind of uninterested.

[Steffi B]

Donut is like, more like, I'm a human, but with dogs her size. It could be different.

[Kalila]

I've tried it. It's not different. Donut has stayed at my place, and Donut's like, stay the away from me.

[Steffi B]

All true.

[Esther]

She does.

[Kalila]

Yeah. She's a little princess. But she's so cute.

[Steffi B]

I know.

[Esther]

She's very cute.

[Steffi B]

Wait. Oh, do you have your bone to pick with her?

[Andrea Chin]

Lisa, things are fine over here.

[Kalila]

We're fine. Now, about the video. Sorry, top tier excuse. I can't.

[Esther]

Yeah, no, but I'm like, I should have said something, but I was like. It was just too many things were happening, but I should have said something regardless. That was my bad.

[Kalila]

It's okay. All. All is for good.

[Esther]

Thank you for agreeing for such a long commitment, too. Oh, my God. I'm grateful.

[Kalila]

Pick the bone.

[Esther]

Okay.

[Steffi B]

I'm scared.

[Esther]

We went to Korea for, like, a week or so, and we stayed together. We were together for, like, every day. Just you two and others. But we stayed together the whole time. The two of us stayed together. Yeah. And then we come back here. I haven't seen her since now.

[Andrea Chin]

That's your mo.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Esther]

Why have not I. Not things to do?

[Kalila]

When was the Korea trip?

[Esther]

Like, a week ago.

[Kalila]

Oh, my God. It's only been a week.

[Andrea Chin]

I'm sorry.

[Esther]

Yeah, but we saw each other for every day.

[Kalila]

Oh, so you had separation anxiety?

[Esther]

I have abandonment. She left before me. She abandoned me. Abandoned me in Korea.

[Andrea Chin]

We both have abandonment issues. And you know when the person who leaves is, like, better off? I think I was. Felt better off leaving you.

[Esther]

Unfortunately, she was going back to her boyfriend, and then I was abandoned for a week.

[Andrea Chin]

It was my birthday. Is that an excuse? Oh, my God.

[Kalila]

It is an excuse.

[Andrea Chin]

Okay, so the whole.

[Esther]

For one day.

[Andrea Chin]

I. I wanted to.

[Esther]

Celebrate the whole week without me, I guess. Anyway, that's my bone.

[Steffi B]

How was Korea together?

[Esther]

That was fun.

[Andrea Chin]

It was really fun.

[Esther]

But it's all. Was all fake.

[Steffi B]

I guess I relate to you because I'm that girl. We're like. I feel like I'm out with friends, and we're, like, really having this deep, deep connection. I can't believe it. And then the next day, like, no one remembers because they were drunk and I was sober, and I'm like. And then it's just. There's nothing there.

[Esther]

I know.

[Steffi B]

Yeah.

[Esther]

I was sober the whole time.

[Andrea Chin]

We were both sober.

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Andrea Chin]

I felt like I learned so much about you in a way that made me care for you. Like, I felt like I did think about you a lot. We texted each other a lot.

[Esther]

That's fine.

[Kalila]

That's true. And then you left.

[Esther]

And then.

[Andrea Chin]

Yeah, my bot. You couldn't have my body fully.

[Esther]

Nothing ghost for a week. And then I feel hard. No.

[Kalila]

If it makes you feel any better, Esther and I, we've fought on the. While traveling.

[Steffi B]

Yeah.

[Andrea Chin]

What'd you guys fight about? Was it like little things?

[Esther]

Where'd you go?

[Kalila]

It was oat milk.

[Steffi B]

It was little things.

[Esther]

It was little things.

[Steffi B]

Yeah. But we made up before we got on the next plane.

[Esther]

Where'd you guys go?

[Steffi B]

We were in Hawaii.

[Esther]

Well, how do you fight in Hawaii?

[Kalila]

It's easy. It's easy.

[Steffi B]

Hawaii is not the beautiful dreamland. It is not for me. My allergies.

[Kalila]

Yeah, she had allergies in Hawaii and everything spiraled from there. I blame the allergies.

[Steffi B]

I do too. I've never to this day since ever.

[Kalila]

Had anything like that interesting to me because I've never. Of all the places I've had allergies and I'm an allergic girl. Like, right. I'm a Flonase every day, Allegra, everyday kind of girl. It's the only place I don't have to take that.

[Steffi B]

I know when I remember, you were like, I don't understand how she doesn't have her allergy meds. And I'm like. Cause I literally was like the only time I've ever had that. And I still. I'm like scared to go back now.

[Kalila]

Were you sick maybe?

[Steffi B]

No, because I could tell. Like I could tell when I was outside and like the sneezing, I. When I'm sick, like, my throat hurts. Like I'm really tired. Like it was very much allergies.

[Esther]

I mean, they have a lot of special fauna and whatever, right?

[Steffi B]

Yeah. And you guys all have like some kind of Asian in you. And I don't have that. And maybe that's why.

[Kalila]

But Asians are actually more allergic.

[Steffi B]

What?

[Kalila]

Yeah, there's a, like higher cases for just general allergies and eczema in the Asian community. It's like Vietnamese, Filipino.

[Steffi B]

Really?

[Esther]

Yeah. Maybe you have hidden Asian in you.

[Steffi B]

No, I think Jews beat Asians for weakness.

[Kalila]

We're not weak, though.

[Steffi B]

Well, allergy is a weakness.

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Andrea Chin]

No, no, no, no, it's not.

[Steffi B]

It's a strength, actually.

[Esther]

It means your immune system is too powerful.

[Steffi B]

Oh, true. Yeah, true.

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Steffi B]

Okay. I have a question for you guys. This is going to be a really weird way to start with your relationship with me. One thing about me is I grew up in the Same house that my dad grew up in. So he grew up there and then his parents both died and he was an only child. So then he moved into the house, Then he met my mom, my mom moved in and then I was born and I was raised there. I have this weird theory that feels so real to me, but I feel like every time I bring it up, people don't understand it at all. But I'm like, I was raised in my grandparents house. Right. My dad, like he was raised in that house. I was raised in that house. He didn't buy that house. Like that's his parents house. And so in my mind, even though I never met my grandparents, I'm like, they're almost like my real parents and my dad and I are siblings because we were raised in the same house. Does that seem really outrageous?

[Esther]

No.

[Andrea Chin]

I don't get it.

[Kalila]

Making her feel good.

[Esther]

Yeah, because. Yeah.

[Kalila]

Wait, you're saying that your grandparents are your parents because they put the cash down? Yeah.

[Steffi B]

It's their home.

[Esther]

Yeah. It's their roof.

[Steffi B]

Yes.

[Kalila]

So that your 80 year old dad is in fact your sibling.

[Steffi B]

We were raised in the same house on the same street. We had like the same neighborhood.

[Esther]

You know that like saying this is my roof, you follow the rules or whatever. Yeah, it's that I agree with you.

[Kalila]

I can see it. Only because I've seen you with your dad and you guys do have sibling vibes.

[Steffi B]

That's what I'm saying. And I think that's like. Like the house has infected us to be siblings.

[Andrea Chin]

So does that mean your child will also be your.

[Steffi B]

I don't want to go wherever you're going.

[Andrea Chin]

Stop right there.

[Esther]

Your child is your sibling as well?

[Steffi B]

No, we live somewhere else. We live somewhere else now. I thought you live out here.

[Esther]

Who owns a house?

[Steffi B]

Me and my husband.

[Esther]

Okay, so then you.

[Steffi B]

So now we've broken the cycle and now we're a new family.

[Esther]

Okay.

[Steffi B]

I don't know where this puts my mom, but I think she's like our caregiver.

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Steffi B]

Me and my dad's caregiver.

[Esther]

Yeah, I think so.

[Kalila]

I feel like she would agree with that.

[Steffi B]

Yeah.

[Esther]

Actually I have a bone with you too.

[Steffi B]

What?

[Kalila]

Finally.

[Esther]

I just realized I love that clip of your. You talking about your dad. The stand up clip.

[Steffi B]

Oh, thank you.

[Esther]

Where your dad doesn't know you.

[Steffi B]

Thank you so much.

[Esther]

So my family as well.

[Steffi B]

Really?

[Esther]

Yeah, I guess. It's not a bone, it's just like, that's cool.

[Steffi B]

That's a positive bone.

[Kalila]

Positive. We can have good bones.

[Esther]

Yeah. That's my bone. Because I was like, no, I. I wish I had that joke. That's so funny. Really?

[Steffi B]

I feel like that about your material too. I feel like it's so funny and strong. Especially because you. You similarly to me. Like abandonment issues and like anxious attachment. Like I love when you talk about that. I really. I wonder why we've calibrated similarly. Like, what do you think?

[Esther]

I think it's cuz I see my mom as my sibling also.

[Steffi B]

What?

[Esther]

Yeah. Because my grandparents raised me and then. But we lived in my mom's house. But my grandparents were kind of like our parents.

[Steffi B]

I do think that is a more valid reason than mine. If I'm gonna be. You don't have to follow my rules of the roof. But I appreciate you trying to play along.

[Kalila]

Are your all of your parents still alive?

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

No.

[Andrea Chin]

No. My dad passed when I was like six and a half.

[Kalila]

Oh, six and a half.

[Andrea Chin]

So I was my own parent. I feel.

[Esther]

Oh my God.

[Kalila]

Was there a father figure in your home?

[Esther]

Me.

[Andrea Chin]

I was a father figure. Yeah. My family would concur.

[Kalila]

Really?

[Andrea Chin]

Yeah. So that's why I feel the abandonment and attachment thing. I noticed like I quickly attached to you during the trip.

[Esther]

I attached immediately with everyone. Always. I'm attached right now to everyone.

[Steffi B]

You have to be careful around me.

[Andrea Chin]

Yeah.

[Esther]

I'm very attached.

[Steffi B]

We will have a sleepover tonight.

[Kalila]

No father figure. You felt like you had to like parentify. Like you were the parent in the household.

[Andrea Chin]

I have a younger sister.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Andrea Chin]

So I took care of the age gap. She's four years younger than me.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Andrea Chin]

I felt like I had to take care of my sister in a way as well as my mom because she kind of. I feel like she sort of became infantilized in a weird way because she was depressed because of the passing. And so I think emotionally I was more like. I did more the physical things like I think a dad would do. And I feel like my sister, because she was the younger baby, became more of like the emotional caretaker. I would do like things around the house, like kill the bugs. Like, I feel like that's kind of like a thing a guy does.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Andrea Chin]

I would fix. I put in toilets. I put in two toilets. Yeah. Because she also didn't want men in the house. Like she was scared of men. Yeah.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Steffi B]

Must be so, like resourceful and you can just do anything.

[Andrea Chin]

I could do a lot of things. But don't tell my boyfriend.

[Steffi B]

Okay.

[Andrea Chin]

I'll be like, I don't know.

[Esther]

Yeah. She did a lot in Korea I.

[Andrea Chin]

Feel very protective over you. And that. I think that's why I get protective, is because if I. If I see any, especially women seem like they need to be taken care of or, like, somehow babied, I'm more attracted to them. Like, I want, like. Like I become that person.

[Kalila]

Look who's ears have Perkins.

[Steffi B]

I'm just sitting here doing nothing. I'm not saying anything.

[Kalila]

You snap easily at your mom.

[Andrea Chin]

I used to, but I started doing EMDR therapy this year, and that changed a lot of things.

[Kalila]

That's where I'm struggling with right now, because I think that my sister and I, same, similarly, like, infantilized my mom. I felt as though, like, my mom did a lot of things in, like, the physical sense. Like, like, you know, she's very, like, brute, always, like, cleaning, moving, doing things, but never met, like, our emotional needs, like, ever, Ever. So now I feel like she's very emotionally, like, stunted. So I feel like I snap at her. And my therapist is like, this reason you snap at her because you're the parent, and she's like, the child that you have to emotionally take care of. And it's too much for me, and I feel resentful. So I don't know how to talk to her in, like, a soft, soft, tender way. And that's what I've been working on in therapy.

[Andrea Chin]

Oh, what kind of therapy do you do?

[Kalila]

I've done emdr, but I just talk therapy. But that's the number one thing I'm working on is, like, how do I learn to speak to her in a way that she deserves? Because I only know the dynamic of my mom's, like, emotional immaturity and me being the one to try to, like, put the pieces together in a family, including my sister does the same thing with her. So it's like, I hate to be. I don't want to be her abuser.

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

I don't want to be the person that, like, like, talks to her in that way. Like, that's not fair to her. She's. She's lovely.

[Andrea Chin]

Yeah. It's like, is it like your projections of, like, it annoys you that you are doing that or at treating her this way when you don't. You actually don't want to.

[Kalila]

I don't want to.

[Steffi B]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

I. I'm stuck in a state of. Of somewhere in the past. Like, my mouth is still in 1998.

[Steffi B]

How does she react when it happens? In.

[Kalila]

In a way that makes me even sadder, which is she just takes it. She doesn't Fight back. She feels like, okay, this is probably what, like, I deserve. And she doesn't deserve it. I deserve it.

[Steffi B]

But are you sure that it's like, oh, I deserve it, or it's not, or. Because don't you feel like, as a. Like, as a mom, I don't know. I'm like, I could take whatever shit my kid throws at me.

[Kalila]

Like, I.

[Steffi B]

And it doesn't. It won't bother me. I know that's, like, naive now, like, she's just a baby, but I do kind of see my mom do that. And I just feel like I understand. I feel like, as a mom, like, you just take it and it may not. It may. Maybe it does bother you. I'm sure in many cases it does. But there's a chance it doesn't bother her.

[Kalila]

I correct her a lot, and I don't like that. I correct her a lot. Like, English is not her first language. She's supposed to be making mistakes. I correct no one else's English but hers. Like, And I know why I do it. It's because she corrected me a lot when I was younger in a way that was very forceful and physical and abusive. So now, like, it's turned around whether or not she feels okay about me doing that. It doesn't make me feel good. At the end of the night, I'm like, why did I talk to my mom like that? And I'll At. You'll see the text messages I write her. Mom, I love you. I'm so sorry. Like, I snapped. Like, it's.

[Steffi B]

It's really.

[Kalila]

Yeah. Because I hate. I hate that about myself. I don't treat anyone else like that but her. And that's my mom. And I'm a mom now. Like, if my kid treated me the way like I treated my mom, I'd be devastated.

[Steffi B]

I think, oh, why are you? Yeah, But I see. I feel very similarly, but different. Like, because especially when I'm around my dad, Like, I'm so mean to him. Like, he actually went to a farmer's market in my hometown. Cause we were out of town to get apples. And I'm like, dad, like, this is, like, you need to get, like, perfect apples. Like, take this seriously. Like, put on your jeweler's glasses. Like, fucking do this, right? And then he comes home with the apples, and I'm looking at them like, come here. What's this?

[Kalila]

What is.

[Steffi B]

This is a Bruce. And, like, I'm just so abusive to him in a way that. But it's like, maybe it's like, More of a funny, abusive.

[Esther]

Is that abusive? It's like, oh, this apple's not.

[Kalila]

I feel like you guys have that though.

[Steffi B]

Maybe, like maybe it's two sided.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Steffi B]

And maybe you feel like yours is one sided or something.

[Kalila]

It is one sided. She can't. She doesn't. Doesn't have a comeback for me. Your dad does.

[Steffi B]

Right.

[Esther]

Right to though. Right? She used to grow.

[Kalila]

Yeah. She was just very like authoritarian when I was growing up, so I had no voice.

[Esther]

So then it reversed.

[Kalila]

It reversed. So when did it reverse? When I grew up and I. She couldn't like physically hurt me as an adult anymore. Like when I was a kid, I think that I felt very unheard and voiceless and I never had a choice voice. Yeah. But my poor mom, man. She's awesome and I love her and she's changed and she started Lexapro and she's in therapy.

[Steffi B]

She's also so fun and funny and silly.

[Kalila]

But that's the thing. I'm trying to see her the way everyone sees her, which is like not. I can't see her through those lenses yet because I'm still like stuck in a weird little childhood thing.

[Andrea Chin]

But it's like having to let go of part of it is like your ego.

[Kalila]

It is my ego.

[Andrea Chin]

Yeah. It's have. You have to separate and like almost forgive her for everything she's done.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Andrea Chin]

You know, that's what helped me was like, I was like, she's human. I have to keep reminding myself she's human. She's human. She had her own issues the same way we do now. You know, that's what helped me. Yeah. And then having to. Actually, when I did emdr, there was a. There was something that I had to do where I had to put my mom in an imaginary box and set. Detach her from me because I felt like I had to live for her. Everything I did, you know, financially, everything is like my responsibility. And until I put her in this box and I started like, like bawling my eyes out that she was. She was not part of me in a certain way and she'll be fine. That, that was like the big like revelation I had that of how close I was to her.

[Kalila]

Yeah. I think that makes me super emotional because, like, I think that the reason that you are so hurt by like your mother is because you are so tethered to her. You know, like, you forget that you're even like a separate being from her.

[Andrea Chin]

And like, you do so much for us. They did. Even if they brought us pain, it's still. They're still us.

[Kalila]

Yeah, We.

[Andrea Chin]

We have so much of us in them.

[Kalila]

Yeah. That makes. That makes a lot of sense to me. And I think I haven't known. I don't know how to do that, to untether myself for my mom, because, like, in many ways, like, I still.

[Andrea Chin]

Need her so much, you know?

[Kalila]

But I don't know how to tell.

[Andrea Chin]

Her I need her because I'm, like, this, like, strong adult, and I'm, like.

[Kalila]

Trying to just get together, but, like.

[Andrea Chin]

I need my mom. So I don't know. It's just a weird thing. But thanks for sharing.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Andrea Chin]

It's just a whole mind now, I think, because I'm a mom. And, like, she's really, like, stepped up in, like, such beautiful ways. And, like, when I see her, like, hold my baby, I'm like, is that how she loved me? And, you know, like, that's probably how she loved me.

[Kalila]

That's probably how she adored me.

[Andrea Chin]

And I. I couldn't see it then. So, like, it gives me more perspective, but also, like. Like, no matter how, no matter what. No matter what, like, she is the top tier goddess in my life.

[Kalila]

Like, she birthed me, and I. I.

[Andrea Chin]

Think that's why I have the feelings that I have of, like, please, just, like, be my mommy, you know?

[Steffi B]

Yeah. Thank you for sharing that. One of the biggest revelations that I had after, like, like, you know, delivering Ace, getting through the, like, panic of her going to the NICU and then her finally being released, and, like, looking at her in my hospital bed and being like, this is what I am to my parents. Yes.

[Esther]

Wow.

[Kalila]

Whoa.

[Esther]

Like, that doesn't.

[Kalila]

Whoa.

[Steffi B]

It just, like, shakes the snow globe. Like, crazy.

[Kalila]

Crazy, right?

[Steffi B]

Yeah, that is. And you know what? I was recently watching this interview with Amanda Knox, you know, like, accused of. Falsely accused of murder in Italy. She said that the moment that she gave birth Amanda to her first child, the baby was crying, and she's like, oh, my God. Like, the baby's crying, and, like, I want to help it, my baby, but I. There's nothing I can do. And then she, like, looked at her mom in the corner of the room and was like, oh, my God. That's how my mom felt when I was fucking in prison. Falsely accused. And it just, like. It. I don't know. It's just like that new feeling unlocks, and then you're like. It's like, so much.

[Kalila]

Yeah, that is a lot. Let's hard pivot.

[Steffi B]

For me. I would say one of the pettiest reasons I'VE ever requested money when I was on a date with two friends of mine that I was setting up. So I was like the third wheel on the date and I paid for the ice cream and I was like, you're the guy. You pay for her ice cream. I'm not paying for it. Yeah, I can be Petty Cash App Whatever Cash App is built for the way you and your friends move and save money. Splitting pizza with your friends or paying someone back for movie tickets. No need to wait forever to get paid back when it can be done in a tap. Work hourly and get direct deposit. Set it up on Cash App and get your money up to two days early. Plus, Cash App is super safe. When you bank through Cash App, you gain access to instant alerts, the power to lock your card in a tap, and extra safeguards so strangers can't find your account. No hidden fees, no surprises, just simple money moves that fit your life. Take control of your money today with Cash App. If you're between 13 and 17, you can still sign up. Just ask your parent or guardian for help to open up a Cash App sponsored account for a limited time. Only new Cash App customers can use our exclusive code to earn additional cash for real. If you're over 18, just download cash App and after you sign up, use our exclusive Referral code that's Money10 in your profile and you'll get $10 dropped right into your account when you send $5 or more to a friend within your first 14 days. Or if you're 13 to 17 years old, request a sponsored account from a parent or guardian and once you sign up, use our exclusive Referral code that's money 10 in your profile to get $10 dropped right into your account when you order and activate your free Cash App card and send $5 or more to a friend within your first 14 days. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App's Bank Partners Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank Member FDIC direct deposit roundups, overdraft coverage and discounts provided by Cash App, a Block Inc. Brand. Visit Cash App Legal Podcast for full disclosures. You know that feeling when you're invited to a wedding and it's like, oh my God, wait, that's so exciting. And then what? Wait, what am I going to wear? This is why I'm so excited that we're teaming up with our new sponsor, Nuuly. Nuuly is a subscription clothing rental Service for just $98 a month. You get your choice of any six styles each month, access to thousands of styles from hundreds of brands. They have everything from party dresses to like really nice premium denim. One of a kind vintage pieces which is really cool. They have inclusive sizing up to 5x as well as tall, petite and maternity fast free shipping and returns and professional cleaning in Nuuly's state of the art laundry facilities. And then of course you have the option to buy what you love at a discount. I love Nuuly. I'm just so sick to my stomach of like spending a lot on a piece and then wearing it once and then it just sits there and there's really no absolute point to it at all. We love Nuuly and I think Nuuly is a great value at $98 a month for any six styles. But right now you can get 28 off your first month of Nuuly when you sign up with Code Trash Tuesday. Just go to n u l y.com that's Nuuly with two U's and enter the code Trash Tuesday and sign up to get 28 off your first month month. That's Nuuly. N u-u l y.com Nuuly with two U's with code trash Tuesday Newly Subscription clothing rental Change your clothes.

[Kalila]

This podcast is brought to you by Skims. I have a pair of boxers. Skims and how do you love them? It's like I'm not wearing boxers.

[Esther]

It's just free range out there. That's how comfortable these skims are for me.

[Kalila]

Shop our favorite bras and [e-mail] after you place your order. Be sure to let them know we sent you select podcast in the survey and be sure to select select Trash Tuesday in the drop down menu that follows.

[Esther]

Schemes.

[Kalila]

This podcast is brought to you by skims. I have a pair of boxers. Skims and how do you love them? It's like I'm not wearing boxers.

[Esther]

It's just free range out there. That's how comfortable these skims are for me.

[Kalila]

Shop our favorite bras and [e-mail] after you place your order. Be sure to let them know we sent you select podcasts in the survey and be sure to select select Trash Tuesday in the drop down menu that follows.

[Esther]

Schemes.

[Kalila]

I do owe you an apology though. Major.

[Esther]

What happened?

[Kalila]

Yeah, Major. Major. So you know we had Laura Bytes here a couple weeks ago and Esther told a story about how she has bloody sheets.

[Esther]

Huh.

[Kalila]

Me and Lara were like, ew, why do you have bloody sheets? And she's like, it's not Even my blood. It's like her husband's blood because he picks his legs. Yeah. And then Lara and I, like, basically humiliate her and said, who cares whose blood it is? Like, it's disgusting. And. Well, this week, I have been rolling around in only bloody sheets. Not only did I. Apparently, I don't have a concept of my own period anymore, but bled through as I was asleep and then panicked in the morning and called my partner over, and I was like, baby, you gotta help me. On his way to, like, help me, he nicks his knuckle and then proceeds to bleed. Add more blood to the sheets.

[Steffi B]

As.

[Kalila]

As it was happening, I was like, oh, I get it. I'm so sorry I ever judged you for bloody sheets. It happens.

[Steffi B]

I have to think about whether or not I can forgive you for this.

[Andrea Chin]

You're right.

[Kalila]

I will accept it if you never forgive me. But bloody sheets do happen, guys.

[Steffi B]

Let me find my religion and think about it. Do you guys ever have bloody sheets?

[Esther]

All the time. Always. It's always happening. Because I always overestimate. I underestimate how long it's going to be. It'll be like a week, right. Of period. And then I'm like, after three days, I get kind of cocky. I'm like, no, I got this right. It's fine. And then I stop using anything. And it just goes so normal to.

[Steffi B]

Me, too, like that. I feel like that's such a normal part of my cycle where it's like, three days. Oh, there's nothing on day four. And then day five, you're like, what? We had an agreement and it's coming back.

[Esther]

It just throws one. And then I'm like, oh, no.

[Steffi B]

Yeah.

[Esther]

But it's also. I want to save the pads because I'm cheap. Yeah.

[Andrea Chin]

So you rather mess up your sheets.

[Esther]

Yeah. Because then. Because I'll be like. Because I'll be like, oh, there's nothing. There's nothing. It's been so long. Yeah. This is a waste of the. This is a waste of it. Look at how big this is.

[Andrea Chin]

It's like this big boat.

[Esther]

Yeah. And it's so much material that I'm wasting for nothing, so I'll stop using it.

[Andrea Chin]

I'm confused of, like, the amount. Like, how. Why. Why is it getting heavier after the fourth? Like, it's not.

[Esther]

It just throws a bomb.

[Steffi B]

It's just really weird. Like, you'll have a day in the middle of it where there's nothing. And then. I know.

[Kalila]

And then.

[Steffi B]

And then the next day, it's like, no, I'm still here.

[Esther]

Yeah. Oh yeah. I remember in Korea I had my period and you offered to give me stuff and I was like, no, don't waste it. That is true. Yeah. I was like, don't waste it. It's good material. Don't waste it. Yeah.

[Steffi B]

What are other ways that you are cheap and don't like to waste?

[Esther]

I won't throw away the bloody sheets. I'll use it. I'll keep you.

[Kalila]

I understand that. Yeah. Bloody panties.

[Andrea Chin]

I keep.

[Esther]

Blood panties. I keep everything. I keep.

[Andrea Chin]

You know what? I could say one what she had a hoarding tendency with grapefruits that we would get Oranges.

[Esther]

Yeah. From the eggs.

[Andrea Chin]

And so by the end we had like a basket of grapefruits that weren't eaten and then.

[Esther]

And eggs for me it's like waste. Yeah. Like at the end when I left, I had so many hard boiled eggs and oranges in my hotel room.

[Kalila]

I feel like you do have to bring the hard boiled egg eggs though.

[Esther]

Right. For my. Throughout my day they don't last, but throughout my day.

[Steffi B]

Yeah.

[Esther]

Oh, if I'm gonna cuz at breakfast they have it. I'm like, well I'll want that later. But I just ate two eggs. I'm not gonna eat four eggs right now. So later I would like two eggs though.

[Steffi B]

Buffet style meals do bring out the worst in everyone and it could even be at worst that you're not, not expecting like maybe someone under eats and.

[Kalila]

You'Re like dad used to piss me the off. So I used to go with my friend Marianne to the Vegas buffets and I, I went twice and after that I was like never the again with this person. She doesn't know how to do it. Her strategy is all wrong. And she just goes like, she's like carb frenzied. And I'm like, the expensive stuff here is the meat. So it's like unless you know like the hierarchy of price. Like I need you if we're paying $46 which is like, you know, expensive back then I need you to go heavy on the prime rib. I need you to go heavy on all what I think is the expensive stuff. The rice we can make at home. All the that you're loading your plate with is like cheap that we can get anywhere. It's not no $46. So like eat the meat.

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

And she just didn't. And I'll never go with her again.

[Andrea Chin]

It's like a privilege. Is she privileged?

[Kalila]

No, she's not actually. She just like loves rice. And also, like, I don't like people.

[Esther]

Who are like.

[Kalila]

I don't like people who leave the buffet when they're full. You need to stay.

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

And, like, recover and then hungry again. Get hungry again, and then go back.

[Esther]

That's my strategy. It's not because we. I didn't. I don't really go for the expensive stuff. I do. I try, but not everything, but I go for length.

[Steffi B]

Length.

[Esther]

My strategy is length of time.

[Andrea Chin]

We stayed at the buffet.

[Esther]

We'll stay for five hours.

[Kalila]

I agree.

[Steffi B]

I've never thought of length, because you can't.

[Kalila]

They won't kick you out. Right. So it's like, you just have to take your time. You can't frontload too hard. You just have to really. I mean, for me, it's. It's. Buffet is like an Olympic sport. Like, if I agree, you need to come with a really strong, like, game plan or no soda.

[Steffi B]

That pisses me off. When people get soda and, like, those bubbles are filling you up.

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Steffi B]

That's waste of space.

[Esther]

And I'll wrap things up in the napkin to take with me.

[Steffi B]

Always have a big purse.

[Andrea Chin]

This is our buffet or this is what we do.

[Esther]

But I don't think this is good enough for Kalila because we're doing a lot of veggies there because we're. We were trying to poo on the trip a lot.

[Kalila]

I feel like veggies. I feel like poo is on the top of my priority list.

[Esther]

Always trying to poo because she wasn't pooing. And then I.

[Andrea Chin]

And so it looks like everyone know it's fair.

[Esther]

So I was, like, trying to get her to eat vegetables. So we loaded on vegetables a lot, which I don't think is that expensive.

[Kalila]

It's not.

[Esther]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Steffi B]

But when you're in a different country, they're, like, fresher and less poisoned. I feel like that is a move.

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Steffi B]

One thing that pisses me off that me and Dave, my husband, don't agree on at buffets is I always. When I'm going for round two, I always start with a clean plate, and he'll always go back with the same plate. Ew. I know.

[Esther]

There's, like, other residual.

[Steffi B]

I know. He's like, you're wasteful. I'm like, this is an experience. Like, round two needs to be fresh. Like, I don't want to remember what I did in round one. Yeah.

[Esther]

There's, like, tomato juices and stuff and meat juices.

[Steffi B]

It's fine.

[Kalila]

Rarely do we ever get a chance to, like, get a Clean plate for every set of. You know, you're right. That is the experience you pay for as well. Utensils, clean plates.

[Esther]

Yeah. What's his problem?

[Steffi B]

So many things. He also doesn't like when I get ice cream. Cream samples at the ice cream shop.

[Esther]

What? That's your right as a person.

[Kalila]

I disagree. I agree with Dave here. What? Because Esther doesn't do it in a regular person way.

[Esther]

What do you do? How does she do it?

[Kalila]

She will sit there and take her time. She won't look back at the line. No, I will.

[Steffi B]

I will. Nowadays, I just. Yes, but one sample is often not enough for me. I need to try, like, the other thing.

[Kalila]

And the way she does it, too. It's. It's very. She'll lick it and she'll go, no, I don't. It's not like an immediate, I want this or I don't want this. She will take her time and just be like, what are the notes? Like, what are. She's like, calculating it in her head.

[Esther]

But can I argue that that's okay? Because. Because ice cream is a frill. It's not a necessity. So if there's a line, everybody chose to be there. You know, it's a hot take. So, like, you're choosing to line up for ice cream. That's silly. You know what I mean?

[Kalila]

That's a price you pay.

[Steffi B]

You're in the silly world now.

[Esther]

You're doing a silly activity and it's okay. Like if. If somebody wants to take their time and you. You're giving up this time. Like, you're not lining up for bread.

[Kalila]

Or it's not a basic.

[Esther]

Or meat. Yeah, yeah. Like, where you need it. So it's like, oh, oh, I'm starving. Like, nobody's starving for I. You know, it's going to be a line. Thank you.

[Kalila]

That's a great take. I think I might be sold now.

[Esther]

Thank you. I just feel like everything. That's a frill. It's like you chose this.

[Steffi B]

Yeah, so.

[Esther]

So if it's two hours, it's two hours.

[Kalila]

Can't cry about it.

[Esther]

Yes.

[Steffi B]

That's beautiful.

[Kalila]

If you start sampling bread and, like, real, real food, that's when it's a problem. Okay. Not to assume that you guys know anything about. About, like, K Pop, but, Esther, why is it that you are such a fan of, like, huge, like, pop stars and, like, including, like, girl groups back in the day, but I feel as though you have no interest in today's, like, K pop girl groups?

[Steffi B]

I think that's More of a reflection of like emptiness in your childhood and like your famous Miss Hot Beautiful Women, like being your mommy or your best friend or like filling your needs. And now I'm like a little bit, you know, now it's like I have those set in stone, like the Madonna, the Gaga, the Britney. And so it's like harder for me to find new people. Like even someone like Chapel Roan, who. She has some hits I love. Like, I'm not gonna. She's not gonna be my mommy. You know, she's just like out there.

[Kalila]

So you don't have space.

[Steffi B]

Yeah, I don't have a lot of room right now at this age. Even Sabrina Carpenter, who's like blowing my mind sometimes, but I'm like, I'm never gonna get to that stand level, I think. I don't know.

[Kalila]

It's just like shocking to me that you are such like a pop girly and you're very. You dive deep.

[Steffi B]

It's almost like when I turn 21, like there's no room for like a new, like Gaga was probably the last one to like get in for me.

[Esther]

I agree with that. I was like doing a lot in my teens. Cause I had so much time.

[Steffi B]

Yeah.

[Esther]

And there was no parents or anything.

[Steffi B]

Yeah.

[Esther]

I was the only child. No siblings. So then I was like, oh, I love Twilight and I love One Direction and Justin Bieber.

[Steffi B]

Is that all children tend to be more creative, more independent.

[Esther]

What kind of brat. That. No.

[Kalila]

Yeah. But like in a way that like I envy.

[Andrea Chin]

But I feel like you have a little bit of like this. I think it's the attachment part. Maybe you attach yourself. Did you attach yourself to like your grandma or something? Or your.

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Andrea Chin]

Who did you do that with? Because she's actually considerate compared to my other friends who are like only children. Only children. She does have that creative part of like into, I think, individuality in that way. But I do think that you do have like a little bit of like, like you think about other people.

[Esther]

But I think that's because we've always been like, my mom felt like my sibling. Yeah. Because we were. Because she was always getting into trouble. And then my grandparents would be like, ah, she's doing something. We have to make it better. So it was like the consideration of we have to make my mom feel better.

[Kalila]

I see.

[Esther]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it was always like, my, how is my mom feeling? How it like, so everybody was like laser focused on my mom and how she was feeling, if she was okay. Well, that's.

[Kalila]

That doesn't that sort of, like, erases the only child experience. Then if there was always someone like, you had to. Where the focus was her on her instead.

[Esther]

Yeah, but I guess I only have it with, like, objects and, like, food. Like, my only childness comes out where I'm like, that's mine.

[Steffi B]

Yeah, Yeah, I have that.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Steffi B]

I don't like to share, especially food.

[Esther]

Yeah, me too.

[Kalila]

Food someone picks off your plate. Like, are you freaking out?

[Esther]

I'm thinking about it the rest of the meal.

[Kalila]

Can you tell them in the moment.

[Esther]

I'm just like, yes, of course. Have it. But then I look at them as they're eating it, and I'm like, disgusting. And then I.

[Steffi B]

This happened to me the other night. I was at the Comedy Store, and Bobby was there, and I was eating a bag of chips, and he was talking to these two people, and one of the. And I was standing next to him, and this woman was like, oh, can I have a chip?

[Esther]

Chip?

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Steffi B]

And I was like, I. I couldn't believe it.

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

Did you know her bag? Okay, that's weird.

[Steffi B]

I couldn't believe it. I didn't. I was. And I said. I was like, you really want to take one of my chips? I said that. And she's like, oh, never mind. It's okay. And I was like, no, it's fine. And I gave her, like, half a chip.

[Kalila]

But you pulled it out yourself.

[Esther]

Yeah, you broke it enough.

[Kalila]

And it was broken when I pulled it out.

[Steffi B]

That wasn't on purpose, I swear. But I was like, can you have a chip? It's a small bag. You're taking one of my chips. It just was like. And is that crazy of me? I don't know.

[Kalila]

Instance. No, because you don't know her, and she's not a friend. But are you one of those kids in elementary school that, like. Like, like, crunched the bottom of the chip bag so they couldn't take too much?

[Steffi B]

No.

[Kalila]

Whoa.

[Steffi B]

I would never do a sacrilege.

[Kalila]

There was. There was that. That I hated. These kids were like. You knew that they were maybe forced to share, but they found a hack to not sharing.

[Esther]

Oh, my God.

[Kalila]

So when someone's hand. When your hand would enter the chip bag, they would hold, like, the bulk of the chips like this. So you couldn't go past half the bag of the chips. So you can only really pull one or two.

[Esther]

I don't know about that. Hack.

[Andrea Chin]

Wait, so when can I ask? Like, when that happens? Yeah, like, when she'd ask for. Did you feel like she was selfish or did you feel like. Like, like what? What did you think of the other person?

[Steffi B]

I was so shocked. I was just like, how could you ask me for a chip? Like, is that what people do? And I just don't know because I'm not normally walking around eating chips. Like, is that the culture of eating chips? It just was so weird. I'm like, I know. I would certainly never ask someone for. First of all, who wants one chip?

[Kalila]

Maybe her sugar was dropping.

[Steffi B]

But can I say that's useless.

[Esther]

I do think it is the culture of chips.

[Andrea Chin]

Chips.

[Esther]

I do think so.

[Steffi B]

That's what I'm wondering.

[Esther]

Because it's like, there are so many.

[Steffi B]

Chips, but those small bags, there's, like, none in there.

[Esther]

That's true.

[Steffi B]

And I just think, what is one chip gonna do you like?

[Esther]

I'll give you the taste of it. Yeah.

[Steffi B]

You're just gonna want more.

[Esther]

Because I'll see the bag and I'll be like, whoa, what's that like.

[Kalila]

To a stranger?

[Steffi B]

And then you have the taste in your mouth.

[Esther]

You know, bags of chips, they're always doing weird flavor.

[Steffi B]

These were just plain. They were lays. They were not plain. I think I hate plain chips. They're barbecue.

[Esther]

That's normal. I would never be like, whoa, what's that like?

[Steffi B]

No, she wasn't. Whoa, what's that like? She's like, can I have a chip? I was like, what? I just couldn't believe it. I felt like I was under attack.

[Esther]

That's really crazy that it's not a special, like, lime zesty one or whatever. No. Did you bring it from home?

[Steffi B]

No, I found it in the green room.

[Esther]

And I know she could have just gotten one from.

[Steffi B]

She wasn't a comedian because they only have those chips in the green room.

[Kalila]

But sound off in the comments, guys, is it okay to ask even if it is?

[Steffi B]

Like, for me, that's a boundary cross.

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Steffi B]

Because then I have to say no. And then it's like, she said no. She wouldn't share her chips. And we're like 11 years old, and I'm like a little brat.

[Kalila]

I'm so spineless. I would have just because I can't say no. I'm like, have it. I wouldn't share. I just like, here, have it. And then go back and get another bag.

[Steffi B]

Bag.

[Kalila]

Because I don't know how to say no.

[Esther]

Me too. I'll get annoyed and I'll say yes, but then I'll just secretly have a grudge.

[Kalila]

That is scary that we're scary people. Because we don't know, like, they. They don't know we're holding that grudge. We. They don't know that we're, like, bitching about it to our friends for, like, two days.

[Esther]

But I'm doing that. But they should have known to not do that to me.

[Kalila]

But if we're in, like, a restaurant setting and it's like, family, not. Not family style. So. So I have my own plate of carbonara. Say, for instance, if you want some of mine, like, I don't care. Like, I'm always like, I don't care. It's like a pleasure for me to. When someone asks her, it's very, like, communal, and it makes me feel very, like, in. Like, in a loving, safe space.

[Esther]

Yes.

[Kalila]

But you don't feel that way if I. Okay. If you're. If you have your plate of carbonara and I don't ask, and I just like, hey, I want to taste that, and I twirl it in my fork. Are you, like, like, raging out in your head?

[Esther]

Well, it depends. Honestly, it depends how much I love them. Yeah.

[Kalila]

Okay.

[Esther]

But also gender. Yeah. Like, if a man does that, I get seething rage.

[Steffi B]

I'm thinking it depends on portion and portion.

[Esther]

Yes.

[Steffi B]

Because sure, if it's a big portion, sure, that's easy. Have some. But if. What if it's like, no, this is. I want this.

[Kalila]

That is a weird. That is. Interesting thing you said, because I think I'd be mad, too, if it was. It might be an ick if we were on a first date and he took from my plate immediately. Because then it's like, oh, you're not a provider, you're a taker.

[Esther]

Yeah. And can I also say, this is very specific. If it. All women, I'm like, that's cool. Have it. But if I don't like their boyfriend and they take from my. The woman takes from my plate, I'll think. Because I think of boyfriends as a. Like. Or partners as extensions of that woman. And if I don't like that boyfriend and I think they're disgusting, I don't like it when that woman takes from my plate or shares food with me.

[Kalila]

So funny.

[Steffi B]

I have a specific memory that I will never get over. I have to bring it up to my mom for, like, just a therapeutic conversation once a year. But one time, we were at Red Robin. It was me, my mom, my sister, my niece, and my nephew. And my sister ordered an onion tower. Like, a tower of onion rings, whatever. And it was only, like, halfway eaten. And then she ordered a second one to go like that's for your boyfriend.

[Esther]

Oh.

[Steffi B]

She's like, denying it, but it's, like, obvious, right? So she ordered this onion tower to go for her boyfriend, who I hate. And to this day, I'm still thinking about the 11.99 that I fucking spent on that man's onion tower. It drives me nuts.

[Kalila]

That would drive me nuts.

[Steffi B]

That's when we need to go to the rage room.

[Kalila]

Okay. Onion tower. He has a couple of things I have on my list now for you in the rage room.

[Steffi B]

I could call my mom right now and she would be like, yeah, the onion tower.

[Kalila]

It's an interesting thing for me because I have had girlfriends with shitty boyfriends, friends, and I've really had to learn to, like, extricate. Like, I have to separate them because. Or else it's like when they tell you a story about this dude, and even if it's a positive one, I'm like, in doing a lot of internal eye rolling.

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

But I have to, like, sit there and just be like, don't be judgmental. Don't be. Don't say, he's a cokehead. Don't. Don't say all of these things you want to just unload. Right. And you're just like, oh, yeah. She's like, well, what do you think? I'm like, you know, I can't make that decision. Decision for you, but I'm like, I want to make this decision for you, but, like, it's so hard. But if that I. You're right. If her boyfriend was present and she's taking off of my plate, that would. I think it's like, you should buy it.

[Steffi B]

Boyfriend.

[Esther]

Or even if he's not present, like, I still don't like it. Just because you share the same spit. Yes. So then you're the same at the moment of your dating.

[Steffi B]

Also, it's like you're sharing your resources with her, which is now a combined resource source with him.

[Esther]

Yeah. And I don't want to benefit him ever.

[Steffi B]

I know.

[Esther]

And also I don't want his, like, ecosystem in my.

[Steffi B]

I know.

[Esther]

Tangled in mind because I did not choose to be with him. You did.

[Kalila]

So funny.

[Esther]

And I find him disgusting. So I don't want any of his, like, is there chemicals near me?

[Steffi B]

Is there usually a specific reason why you dislike this person or, like, just. You think they're a bad boyfriend to her or they're like, gross. Gross.

[Esther]

Like, gross. Yeah. If I. If I feel that they are dirty or disgusting. Because it's more of a, like a microbiome thing.

[Kalila]

Oh, okay.

[Esther]

And hatred.

[Steffi B]

Yeah, yeah, but hatred.

[Esther]

Yeah, that too.

[Steffi B]

We don't exchange microbiomes in my family.

[Kalila]

Do you guys not share toothbrushes with your lovers at all?

[Steffi B]

Are you so disgusting? What are you. Do you.

[Kalila]

I do.

[Esther]

I do. Yeah, but that's what I'm saying. You're. Or you become one, you know, toothbrush.

[Kalila]

I genuinely.

[Esther]

Kissing that person.

[Steffi B]

Tartar. You're scraping tartars.

[Kalila]

We're exchanging tartar. Yeah.

[Steffi B]

That is so nasty. Oh, I hate you all.

[Esther]

You had someone's child. You had your. The sperm inside of your.

[Steffi B]

No, I didn't.

[Kalila]

That's true. You have fragmented DNA of babes inside you.

[Steffi B]

Yeah, that's fine. But tartar. Tartar.

[Kalila]

I don't think tartar is that easy to, like, swim around, you know, you don't. You don't dislodge tartar that easy. That is like a dental appointment.

[Steffi B]

You don't think the toothbrush is filled with the bacteria?

[Kalila]

It is the bacteria. Sure. But we're swapping.

[Steffi B]

I'm, like, disgusted by my own toothbrush. And by the way. By the way, I'm telling you, if. Let's say there's a world where Dave and I had never met and he had been single the last. Last 12, 13 years, this man would still have the same toothbrush for the last 13 years. He never. He does not know, like, the etiquette of changing. So I literally. I'm like the toothbrush fairy. Every three months, like, there's a brand new toothbrush laying out for him. I don't know.

[Kalila]

This makes sense in, like, a mother, children way, though, because I think you're not supposed to be kissing your very young kids or babies, because apparently the bacteria in our adult mouth can cause them, like, dental caries.

[Esther]

Whoa.

[Kalila]

So you could be passing off, passing on to each other. Like, not good things. But I think my teeth have been stronger since sharing with him because I think that he has, like, really great dental hygiene. All right. Whatever it is that he's giving me, like, I feel stronger.

[Steffi B]

Yeah.

[Andrea Chin]

I'm more worried about not the tartar, but, like, just the pieces of food that gets stuck. Oh, toothbrush.

[Kalila]

But so you're not. You don't share it.

[Andrea Chin]

It's because I kiss them.

[Esther]

So you're gonna clean the toothbrush. You're not gonna leave food in your toothbrush.

[Andrea Chin]

There's got to be stuff in there, like, we can't see.

[Kalila]

Oh, yeah, it's probably disgusting.

[Esther]

You don't have, like, a UV light that cleans your tooth. Never mind.

[Steffi B]

That sounded you really would share your toothbrush with your lover?

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

Not any old lover, though, like, in a relation only.

[Esther]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Kalila]

Not some Mirando.

[Steffi B]

No, I get it. But you even thinking that that is. Is pathetic to me. All of you.

[Kalila]

At some point, like, him and I are gonna have, like, the same microbiome. Like you said. It's. We're sharing forks and spoons.

[Steffi B]

When you guys wipe your ass, do you take the toilet paper and then go, here, there's still some white on it. Take it.

[Kalila]

I would.

[Esther]

I would, too.

[Kalila]

I would.

[Esther]

I would, too.

[Steffi B]

Okay, I need the comments to, like, come in strong.

[Kalila]

I know the dentists say you're correct. Like, I think that what I've heard is you're not supposed to. Supposed to, obviously.

[Esther]

Right.

[Andrea Chin]

But this is also in, like, desperate measures. I would say, like, if we went camping and only one of us had a toothbrush.

[Esther]

Yeah. We're not choosing to do it.

[Andrea Chin]

Would you rather not brush your teeth at all?

[Steffi B]

I don't know what would happen, but I would not share. I would use my finger. I would use a leaf. I would not share a toothbrush. Or just rinse around with toothpaste. I won't even share toothpaste.

[Esther]

What?

[Steffi B]

No.

[Kalila]

You have your own tube.

[Esther]

Okay.

[Steffi B]

Because you touch the thing.

[Esther]

Yes, actually, I agree with that. When friends. When. No, but when friends want to, like, scrape it off or something, I'm like, oh, you're touching the toothbrush to the toothpaste. That is, you know.

[Steffi B]

Yeah. I have, like, really strict. This is, like, where my little, like, OCD does flare up. Like, also, if I'm at a dinner and, like, we're sharing, there has to be serving spoons. And, like, I've had to train people in my life on that one because. Because if you're using your spoon and take, like, the meal is dead to me. Like, that is so scary to me. And I know that's, like, kind of illogical, but it's just, like, it makes me very uncomfortable.

[Kalila]

Do you share your drinks with. With a straw to anyone in your life?

[Steffi B]

No.

[Andrea Chin]

Even, like, a bite of, like, dessert? You don't share that with people you.

[Kalila]

Don'T know unless it was their own spoon.

[Steffi B]

Yeah. If you have a clean. If I use a clean spoon once. And then.

[Esther]

Okay, to the chip thing, sometimes people. Are we drinking something with a straw? And sometimes they'll be like, can I try?

[Kalila]

And what do you say? Yes. Huh?

[Esther]

I say yes. And then. And then I have so much rage inside of my jealous.

[Steffi B]

Like, because I see these tick tocks of these girls where they get all like four smoothies and then they're like, I'm having a sip and you're. And I watch it like, wow, that's so cool. But like, I could never do that.

[Kalila]

I mean, if I really wanted to try someone's drink and they had a straw, I would usually like pop the lid open and then like drink it from another point of contact. Or do the poor.

[Steffi B]

Yeah, that's like what I've seen me and Jenna have done is like the poor. Cuz she's a little kooky too.

[Esther]

But I mean, I don't think it's. I think that should be normal. Like that should be more normalized. Not sharing everything. Because we are exchanging like microbiota. But that.

[Andrea Chin]

Isn't that a good thing? We're supposed to like we have kids playing with each other when they're young.

[Esther]

So that's different. Cuz they're stronger in their. Their micro. Like their immune system is stronger.

[Kalila]

It's weaker, less exposed. Yeah. That's why they get sick more often.

[Esther]

Yeah. Oh, but they should have more exposure to get stronger. Yeah, but then we bounce back. Not as well as them. I think that's my point is they bounce back more easily.

[Kalila]

I'm all about like cleanliness and like hygiene and I take like three showers a day.

[Andrea Chin]

What?

[Kalila]

This is maybe my blind spot, which.

[Steffi B]

Is crazy to me.

[Andrea Chin]

That is so crazy.

[Kalila]

I share everything all the time and I never have an issue with it.

[Andrea Chin]

Yeah, same. I'm kind of like that.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Andrea Chin]

I don't mind if things fall. I'll eat it. Like I'm pretty okay with like.

[Esther]

No.

[Kalila]

Like.

[Andrea Chin]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

Within my own family. We'll share like have a bite of this and then we'll share all the same spoon and no one gives a. Yeah.

[Steffi B]

I think it's a really big mental issue for me. Like even if it was healthy, like to share microbiomes like it is a mental disorder.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Esther]

Well, I think it's healthy to share with someone healthy. But if it's healthy.

[Kalila]

How do you even know that?

[Esther]

By observing them with their color, you know, everything's so real.

[Steffi B]

Because there's the fecal. The fecal transplant. Yeah. Which for a while, like I was thinking about it.

[Esther]

I told Steffi I would give her my poo.

[Kalila]

But do you think your poo is like, superior?

[Esther]

I think I'm very regular and I'm very superior. And healthy. Healthy. Because I'm very pretty cocky every day. Yeah. Okay. But you knew how.

[Andrea Chin]

But I was like very touched that you would give me some of.

[Esther]

Yeah, I would give you your poo.

[Andrea Chin]

I was really like, wow. I don't think. Because you're not the type of person to give anyone your poo or anything. That's true. So I could just tell that I was like, wow, this is a huge honor that you would allow me to access this.

[Esther]

That's what I'm saying. The crazy thing is, people I love, I will get give and share things. But it.

[Andrea Chin]

But that means that you like my boyfriend.

[Esther]

Because, you know, I think your boyfriend is probably clean and nice. We had a meal together, the three of us.

[Andrea Chin]

He was the barbecuer.

[Esther]

He cooked it. I was like, that's good. That's.

[Kalila]

Thank you.

[Esther]

But what were you gonna say?

[Andrea Chin]

Just like, the food that we're talking about me eating your poop would be him eating my poop.

[Kalila]

Oh, yeah, that's right. It would be a family affair, and.

[Esther]

I think that'd be good. It benefits my. One single poop benefits two people. That's very good. Yeah.

[Andrea Chin]

No, I'm good at that.

[Steffi B]

You like that you're getting a good deal.

[Andrea Chin]

But we were talking about how this would happen without, like, I don't know if I want to know that I would be eating her poop. I was like, you don't have to eat it. She needs to do it.

[Kalila]

Is a tablet.

[Steffi B]

No, it goes in your butthole. Oh, what?

[Esther]

Yeah, you. It's a fecal transplant.

[Steffi B]

It just pushes it in your.

[Kalila]

In a capsule.

[Esther]

But you can eat it. You can either eat it or put it in your rectum.

[Kalila]

Oh, you thought you were just going to shove right into someone else. His.

[Steffi B]

That's how I would do it at home.

[Esther]

But some people would do that. Yeah.

[Steffi B]

If I was to do it. Yeah.

[Kalila]

That could be fun.

[Steffi B]

I feel like this could go on and on, though.

[Esther]

I love it.

[Steffi B]

We've learned a lot today, and the comments need to come through about not sharing toothbrushes. I really need you guys, because I'm a little.

[Kalila]

You're going to win this one easy.

[Steffi B]

You think everyone in the room is on your side?

[Kalila]

I think that yours is the correct way, and it's what dentists will tell you. But we're disgusting heathens.

[Esther]

I think we're special in that perspective.

[Steffi B]

Well, on that note, thank you to our guests, Andrea and Steffi. Andrea, are you on tour right now?

[Esther]

I've just been opening for people, but I am not. But I will be in the spring. Oh, yeah. So look out for that, I guess. Yeah. At Andrea Chin Everywhere and dot com.

[Steffi B]

And do you have somewhere we should find you?

[Andrea Chin]

Yeah, you can go on to my Instagram at Steffybake. And we might be bringing back cash.

[Kalila]

Cuties, so I loved being on that show.

[Andrea Chin]

Oh, yeah, that was so fun.

[Kalila]

You would love. They break down your monthly expenses.

[Esther]

So good.

[Steffi B]

Yes. Mine are so bad right now. It's really problems with it too.

[Andrea Chin]

We'll find find the issue.

[Kalila]

You guys are super nice about it too. You were like, this is why you're a sweet person. But also you're spending too much on Guasha Lady. Like, yeah, but so it's, it was a really fun.

[Steffi B]

Mine is just all doordash. It's disgusting. I'm on tour this coming weekend. I'm going to be in Portland, Oregon at the Aladdin Theater. Get tickets@pretty littlebabytour.com in the link below. And then I'll be in Seattle, Denver, Olympia, Washington, Philly, New York and Boston. And Klila, what's going on with you?

[Kalila]

I have EB Ocean [e-mail] and we're coming to a retailer near you very soon. So, you know, watch out for that.

[Steffi B]

Thank you everyone for being here and listening and we'll see you next week with a brand new episode. Oh my God, that was so fun.

[Esther]

But.