The Unhinged 90s Episode w/ Jenna & Jules

Summary

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Trash Tuesday: The Unhinged 90s Episode w/ Jenna & Jules

Podcast: Trash Tuesday
Hosts: Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn
Guests: Jenna and Jules
Date: August 26, 2025

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Episode Overview

This lighthearted, chaotic episode of Trash Tuesday pays homage to all things '90s, blending deep dives into friendship dynamics, wellness, iconic movies, and nostalgic pop culture moments with the hosts’ signature mix of vulnerability and sharp humor. Joined by friends Jenna and Jules, Esther and Khalyla roast each other, unpack the complexities of self-pity and empathy, and reflect on growing up in different households, all while trading memories of 90s icons and doing a themed trivia game. The convo jumps from silly (wet hair as a hot girl trend!) to serious (autoimmune struggles and relationship real talk), wrapped in plenty of laughs and the familiar, sluggie camaraderie.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. 90s Nostalgia & Themed Outfits

• The crew kicks off "90s Day" in themed looks: flannels, windbreakers, and Esther channeling Janine Garofalo vibes.
• [01:50] Esther: “Welcome to Trash Tuesday 90. It's 90s day.”
• They joke about laziness—the theme fits since they wear these looks all the time.

2. Friendship, Pity, and the Attention Economy

• Esther makes a tongue-in-cheek plea to always be the “most pitied” member of the group.
• [04:16] Esther: “I need to know that I will always be the one in this friend group that has the most pity from everyone.”
• The group reflects on what it means to comfort friends, draw boundaries, and crave genuine empathy versus performative pity.
• Kalila hates being pitied, saying it “incites, like, a rage inside me.”
  [06:24] Kalila: “When someone pities me, like, it incites, like, a rage inside me.”
• They dissect whether some relationships run on people feeling useful when you’re down, versus real support.

3. Touch, Acts of Service & ‘Rubbies’

• Esther confesses she asks friends for massages (called “rubbies”), despite not usually liking physical touch.
• Jenna exposes Esther’s backhanded requests for rubs and attention:
  [09:27] Jenna: “She just doesn't call it a massage because that's, you know that you do that.”
• Kalila laments she never gets these offers and jokes she’s “imprisoned” Jules' sister for chores.
• They reveal tradeoffs of friendship: food and cozy hangs for rubs—“all I really want in life is footsie, tootsies.”
  [11:35] Kalila: “All I really want in life is footsie, tootsies.”

4. Autoimmune Struggles & Women’s Health

• Discussion centers on how almost every woman they know is dealing with autoimmune symptoms.
• Khalyla and Esther point out how emotional burden and stress might be factors:
  [12:12] Kalila: “We take the burden of society and the burden of our partners and the patriarchy...and it turns into cancers and all these sickness.”
• Esther’s own family’s health is referenced—her sister has Hashimoto’s.
• The conversation also veers into “almond moms” (parents obsessed with controlling their daughter's weight), contrasting their upbringings.

5. 90s Movies Deconstructed: Titanic & Beyond

• Esther reevaluates “Titanic” as problematic for millennial romance standards, roasting Jack as a “fuckboy” and calling Rose’s storyline a mental breakdown.
• [19:32] Esther: “I'm telling you, the only good thing that that man did was let her float on the door frame by herself and him die in the ocean.”
• They link this to why millennial women have “a dating crisis” now.
• The group traces other movie tropes—choosing broke guys with “passion” over stable providers, and laughs about Hollywood’s problematic romantic ideals.

6. Relationship Expectations: Security, Growth & Gender Dynamics

• Khalyla insists her baseline for a partner is knowing they’d “protect and provide no matter what”—even in a post-apocalyptic scenario.
• Jenna references a therapist’s advice for men to always pay for meals as the “bare minimum,” given the imbalance of emotional and physical costs in relationships:
  [24:15] Jenna: “Men will always, always, always benefit more from a relationship with a woman...the way you benefit is astronomic.”
• The group reflects on emotional labor, the reality of marriage “glow ups” (for men) and “glow downs” (for women), and rising rates of women-initiated divorces.
  [26:29] Kalila: “Something really lopsided, like, 90% of the divorces filed that year were from women.”

7. Normalizing Low-Energy, Off Seasons in Life & Relationships

• Esther and Khalyla share about their recent periods of exhaustion and feeling “emptied,” validating that sometimes it’s normal for partners to go through low-energy seasons.
• [31:21] Esther: “I, like, want to almost like, normalize just for myself. Like, sometimes I can't be my fullest self. And like, that's okay.”
• The importance of communication, support, and having partners who “see your best self”—even when you’re not there.

8. 90s Pop Culture Game Show

• They hold a '90s trivia game with visual clues: Monica Lewinsky, Giga Pets, Aaron Carter, Princess Diana, Pearl Harbor's Josh Hartnett, and Tamagotchis, exposing generational gaps.
• Jules (Gen Z) confuses Monica Lewinsky with Marilyn Monroe, struggles to identify River Phoenix, and only knows Victoria Beckham from Spice Girls.
  [48:49] Jules: “Monica Lewinsky.” [50:30] Jules: “Who is he? Aaron Carter.”

9. Wet Hair as a "Hot Girl" Aesthetic & Professionalism

• Kalila shares the Filipino “hot girl” trope of coming to school or work with wet hair, which, in America, is seen as unprofessional or “lazy.”
• They discuss how beauty standards are cultural and wet hair is “lazy-hot.”
  [39:04] Esther: “To me, it's like the hair equivalent of like wearing your boyfriend's oversized T shirt...do I accidentally look like sexy?”

10. Vibrator Mishaps & Orgasming So Hard You Go Deaf

• Jenna recounts a story of going temporarily deaf after a quick orgasm using a low-battery vibrator—a phenomenon confirmed by other women online.
• [55:33] Jenna: "Has this happened to any of you?"
  Kalila agrees, highlighting how “coming harder solo” is normal and sometimes leaves men unable to match that intensity.
• A tangent about vibrator preferences, hand versus device, and the need to “keep the threshold low” so that sex with men is still enjoyable.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Seeking Pity:
  [04:16] Esther: “I need to know that I will always be the one in this friend group that has the most pity from everyone.”
• On Empathy vs. Resentment:
  [06:24] Kalila: “When someone pities me, like, it incites, like, a rage inside me.”
• Relationship Security Baseline:
  [22:09] Kalila: “I need to know that if everything ends for me tomorrow...he’s going to do by hook or crook, make sure that there is shelter over my head, that we are safe.”
• On Female Health & Societal Burdens:
  [12:12] Kalila: “We take the burden of society...and it turns into cancers and all these sickness.”
• Titanic’s Lasting Impact:
  [19:32] Esther: “The only good thing that man did was let her float on the door frame by herself and him die in the ocean.”
• On Quick Orgasms & Going Deaf:
  [55:33] Jenna: “I rarely use my vibrator...I orgasm and I go deaf for about a minute and a half.”
• On ‘Lazy Hot’ Wet Hair:
  [39:04] Esther: “If I did wash my hair often, I would love to go out with wet hair. I think that sounds so hot to me...It's the hair equivalent of wearing your boyfriend's oversized T-shirt.”

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Important Segments & Timestamps

• 90s Theme & Outfits: [01:50–03:15]
• Friendship Pity Dynamics: [04:00–08:30]
• Rubbing, Touch, ‘Acts of Service’ in Friendships: [09:00–12:00]
• Autoimmune Health, ‘Almond Moms’, Women’s Wellness: [12:15–16:30]
• Deconstructing Titanic & Millennial Dating: [16:27–21:15]
• Relationship Expectations/Divorce/Labor: [22:07–27:26]
• Normalizing Exhaustion, Communication in Love: [31:21–34:41]
• 90s Pop Culture Image Game: [47:14–53:28]
• Wet Hair, Beauty Standards: [37:43–41:00]
• Sex, Orgasms & Vibrator Mishaps: [53:41–60:02]

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Final Thoughts

This episode is classic Trash Tuesday: part hangout, part comedy therapy, full of 90s nostalgia and radical honesty. If you’re a sluggie who craves intimate, hilariously relatable convos about friendship, femininity, sex, health, pop culture, and the sheer weirdness of being alive (and growing up in or after the 90s), this one’s required listening.

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Hosts social:

• Trash Tuesday Instagram
• Khalyla Kuhn
• Esther Povitsky

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Transcript

[Kalila]

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[Kalila]

Hey, so just hanging panties, baby.

[Jules]

No.

[Kalila]

Get with it, Jenna.

[Esther]

What are you. What are you wearing? What are you wearing?

[Kalila]

I like it.

[Jenna]

It was a windbreaker and all I had.

[Kalila]

Oh, it's not. It's not separates.

[Jenna]

It's one hole and I'm wearing my Allen Iversons.

[Kalila]

Yes, yes. That I. That I can get with.

[Esther]

Welcome to Trash Tuesday 90. It's 90s day.

[Kalila]

In what world did we think Esther and I were going to show up in anything but flannels? Our lazy ass.

[Esther]

She tailored a theme perfect to us where we could just do what we.

[Kalila]

Always do to show up as. As we always come.

[Esther]

Next week it'll be bedrotters shout out to our golden slug, Brandon. Check us [e-mail] Trash Tuesday podcast or the link below. And we have new bonus episodes every week. Hi Slugs. I am so excited because I am officially going on tour and it is starting so soon. We're right around the corner for 1st September 12th and 13th I'm going to be in Madison, Wisconsin for the first time ever. I had to reschedule last time and was never able to do it. I cannot wait. These shows are going to be so much fun. Madison, Wisconsin. And then next I'll be in Portland at the Aladdin Theater. I'm going to be in Seattle at the Neptune, Olympia, Washington, Philly, New York City, Boston. I'm hitting all the best cities this leg of this tour. So please get tickets. Come see me. It's going to be so much fun. We'll hang. I have all this new material that I've been working on. I can't wait to share it. Oh, and you get tickets@prettylittlebaby tour.com or at the link below. I cannot wait to see you guys. I'm coming to a lot of cities that I haven't been to in a long time and I won't be able to get to for a while cuz I am a baby. But I'll see you guys there.

[Kalila]

Here we are. We're hanging Jenna's thing. She's having a crisis because water has spilled into her purse. And electronics, let's just say that clearly.

[Esther]

Plain water.

[Kalila]

Plain water, it.

[Jenna]

In fact, 24 ounces of it all over electronics is what I care about.

[Kalila]

You baptized your stuff. It's all good.

[Esther]

Wait, so I actually have a really important thing that we have to talk about before we get started. Like, this is very, very serious.

[Jules]

Wait, but I just want to say you look so hot right now.

[Esther]

What? Forget it. Forget what? I was going to say.

[Jenna]

What is this that you're wearing?

[Jules]

Like so hot.

[Esther]

Okay, can I say my theory?

[Jules]

What?

[Esther]

As a female stand up comedian, I think, like, this is what I'm supposed to look like. Like Janine garofalo in the 90s. Like that just looks right on me.

[Jenna]

But you're wearing what you wear every day.

[Esther]

Ask Jules.

[Jules]

But for some reason you're like glowing.

[Jenna]

It's your tank top.

[Kalila]

Okay?

[Esther]

This is really important, okay? And for this friend group to survive, this is something that I need.

[Jenna]

I don't need it to survive.

[Esther]

And it's really serious and I need you guys to take it seriously. I need to know that I will always be the one in this friend group that has the most pity from everyone.

[Jenna]

Pity.

[Kalila]

And what are we feeling sorry for you for?

[Esther]

I can't say right now specifically, but I'm just saying as long as you always feel the most sorry for me, then this can work.

[Jenna]

That's really funny because I just sent her a voice Note this morning telling her I did not feel bad for her at all.

[Esther]

Well, as long as you feel more bad for me than you do the others.

[Kalila]

Is it a dopamine rush for you when I text you, like, oh, I'm so sorry, little one. No, you like those, right?

[Esther]

Well, I don't know what it is.

[Jenna]

But I do actually says pity.

[Esther]

Like, lately I feel like I've been texting, particularly you two. Like, some, like, struggles I've been having. And I am starting to feel like, oh, am I wearing them down? But, like, I can't help it. It's just a text, you know, they're not phone calls, but I don't know, I just. Do you guys pity me? They're not phone calls for you sometimes, but I wouldn't dare call Kalila.

[Kalila]

Yeah, you gotta at pencil even for that.

[Esther]

You need reservations for that. Do you feel like you were able to pity me genuinely?

[Kalila]

Like, the truth is, I like pretend babying. Pitying you a lot.

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

It's like, I do get a rush out of being like, oh, look at this helpless, helpless little thing. She can't figure it out.

[Esther]

Today is the issue that I'm a white woman and you're an immigrant, and so you can't truly.

[Kalila]

I can't relate to your struggles, but I'm a great empathizer. I can put myself in your shoes. Like, Khalila, put yourself in your white woman's shoes and really, like, dive into, like, character and, like, really character.

[Jenna]

Yeah, Birkenstocks.

[Kalila]

There are some things, though, where I'm like, I really, truly, like, don't relate. But it doesn't mean it bothers me when you text me about it. I like it.

[Esther]

I found my soulmate. Me. Jenna. You're fired.

[Kalila]

PTL pts. You know what's so funny is I just had this talk with my sister the other day where I was like, there's nothing that makes me, I think, almost, like, angry. And when someone pities me, like, it incites, like, a rage inside me. I have a friend, bless her heart, but she's always like, I just feel so bad for you, everything you've gone through this year. And she just. It's like, just on repetition where it's like. And then she tells other people. I'm just so, like, I just feel so much for Kalila, and I'm just like, hey, I'm do it. Don't worry about me. Like, shut the fuck up.

[Jenna]

That doesn't even sound real.

[Esther]

That's the thing. I. I wonder if that's what it is like, if there is a version of it where, you know, it's, like, disingenuous. You know, sometimes, like, you feel like someone likes when you're down because it makes them feel better. Or they only like you when you're down. Like, that's classic.

[Kalila]

Or maybe where they feel more purpose when I'm down, where they have, like, a bigger role in.

[Jules]

In.

[Kalila]

In the friendship or in my life. But I don't like it. It makes me want to jump out of my own skin. Especially when they're telling it straight to my face. Like, I'm just like, you've just been through so much. And I'm like, I don't know where to look like, ooh, like my chopped liver.

[Esther]

Do you have rabies?

[Jenna]

It doesn't bother me when you send me these texts all the time about.

[Esther]

Like, moo fan me.

[Jenna]

Because I know that I can genuinely be empathetic, even if I don't understand. Okay. Even if I don't understand what you're going through and that I don't have to actually feel sorry for you. It's true. Like, you. You want someone to hear you want your friends to listen to you. And you also, I really think deep down you don't want us to feel bad for you. Like, you want the attention of, like, doting on you and caring for you in case you really needed it.

[Kalila]

Yeah, you could confuse the shit out of me. You are literally, Bobby. What? You're like, here, like, dote on me, dote on me, but you don't want to be touch it. Like, it. It's so weird where it's like, come be with me, but then only right here, interesting sight.

[Jenna]

Or then you go care for. And she's like, what do you want, fucker?

[Esther]

And I'm like, what?

[Jenna]

You literally asked me to come over to give you rubbies. Are you kidding me? You know what? No, fuck you. It's crazy.

[Jules]

But I thought you don't like physical touch Esser. So what does Atijenna do?

[Esther]

Like, I usually don't, but lately my, my, I've been achy.

[Jenna]

It's not even lately. She always has been like a secret of hers where she wants me to give her these rubbies. And I'm gonna say something that I hope doesn't ruin your life because I don't know if you notice you do this, but.

[Esther]

What.

[Jenna]

Whenever I'm giving her rubbies that this has been like, for years, but I don't say anything because it's like, who cares?

[Jules]

She go.

[Jenna]

As I'm okay. Give me rubbies. And I'm gonna be Esther.

[Jules]

How do you rub these?

[Jenna]

Oh, it's like. It's a massage. Okay. She just doesn't call it a massage because that's, you know that you do that.

[Esther]

Yeah, I do know. Wait, tell them what I did this week.

[Jenna]

Which thing? Oh, my God. Guys, little kiss.

[Esther]

Literally, like, Jenna was just looking at me, and I was like, hold on.

[Jenna]

Esther was laid the out. I'd already given her, like, a two hour massage. Rubbies, and she'll invite me over to watch tv. But it's really so that throughout the episodes, I mean, you get it. You do the same thing. I might be the same with you.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Jenna]

She'll be like, oh, if. If you could.

[Esther]

If you could just.

[Jenna]

Do you think I could? But she doesn't, like, ask for it outright. She asks for it, like, backwards and is like, I don't want to bother you, but, you know. And I know if it's too much, it's fine.

[Jules]

But that's so atika Lila, though, really?

[Kalila]

That's true.

[Jules]

Do you try to, like, hide from a tikala?

[Kalila]

She literally does not engage with me at all. The fact that, like, she. I have imprisoned her little sister. Like, I have the fact that, like, Jenna and Issa and my sister and even, like, everyone in my life has had to tweeze my shins or give.

[Jules]

You Sik sick or whatever.

[Esther]

Sik sick?

[Kalila]

Sik sick. My hair. Jules has never. Not once.

[Jules]

Yeah, like, I know her moves. Like, once she's like, Jules. Or like, when she calls out just to, like, watch tv. Yeah, like, it's okay at that.

[Esther]

We're losers.

[Jules]

Oh, my God, we're losing. And then tell me we can order food or something.

[Esther]

Oh, my God, we're, like, creepy. We're so lonely. I'm scared. It's like. It's like assault.

[Jenna]

Okay, this is creepy. I actually don't think it's creepy because I think you guys are offering us something. You're offering us, like, either food. You make food, you order food. We're hanging out, we're watching tv. We're having, like, actual hangout time in your nice homes, which we don't have.

[Kalila]

I know. All I really want in life is footsie, tootsies.

[Jenna]

You know? I understand it. I get it. Like, I would pay someone to just sit and, like, just, I don't know, give me rubs on my back.

[Kalila]

Rubbies are great. Footsie tootsie with aloha. It's very lopsided because I'm like, babe, can we do footsie Tootsie? And he's like, sure. And then, you know, footsie. Tootsie is like a 69. We both rub each other's feets, right? But I don't do with his trunks. I just sit there. It's like, you're footsie, you're tootsie. See, that's it. He's like, what about me? Nothing. There's no reciprocation.

[Jenna]

I get it. And maybe it's like this part of me that likes to take care of people, but I'm like, I. I get it, Esther.

[Kalila]

It's very Lady Gaga of you.

[Guest]

Did you see her documentary when she.

[Esther]

Of course I did.

[Kalila]

Live in masseuse.

[Guest]

Yeah, that's my dream.

[Kalila]

But then she also has fibromyalgia. She needs it.

[Guest]

But I feel like I do, too.

[Kalila]

Or we all do. Yeah, we all have autoimmune stuff. I was just thinking about this. There are aren't many girls that I know that don't have some form of autoimmune symptoms. And me really sad. And we, us girls, and I'm looking at the camera, we need to take better care of ourselves and each other because we are a very, very sick bunch.

[Esther]

And on this note, sorry, if you had more to say.

[Kalila]

I just like, I can't think of a single guy who has an autoimmune. What, Nick Cannon? Like, oh, Dave. But he's like, you don't hear it as much. Like every girl I know, it's always either a PCOS issue or some type of, like, connective tissue thing or some type of lupus, like arthritic something, amount.

[Jenna]

Of hormones that, like, if one thing goes out of balance, your whole system is.

[Kalila]

Is because we're not taking care of ourselves. And we hold things in and we take the burden of society and the burden of our partners and the patriarchy and all that. And we hold it in, and we hold it in and we grin and bear and it turns into cancers and all these sickness. And we can't. We have to stop doing it.

[Jenna]

We can't pass up this story though, as well. So just keep that in mind.

[Esther]

I. Okay, hold on. I'm so. My sister is autoimmune.

[Kalila]

What does she have?

[Esther]

She has Hashimoto's and she has something.

[Kalila]

Else that I think your mom has Hashimoto.

[Jenna]

I'm.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Esther]

This week we are FaceTiming me, my mom and my sister. And literally on a Wednesday night at 5pm My sister, who's in her 40s, is making herself A root beer float. I'm just like, I. I don't think adults should be making themselves root beer floats. I think that's, like, excessive and weird. She's like, I haven't had one in a year. I'm like, you can go your whole life without one. Like, I was so mean to her. And it is side note, like, how crazy. I'm just willing to be so mean to my sister. But do you. Could. You can go a whole year without her? Could you go your whole life? Could you picture yourself having a root beer float? Isn't that crazy? Like, she needs to be better. I just pictured it, like, 42 or something. 43.

[Kalila]

Yeah. A root beer float once a year is not.

[Guest]

That's not.

[Kalila]

Not that you of all people.

[Esther]

I just think that's excessive.

[Jenna]

Excessive. You sleep with gummy bears next to your bed.

[Esther]

It's a soda ice cream at once.

[Jenna]

You have, like, six different sodas by your bed. I know, because I cleaned your bedside table.

[Esther]

That's because of something I'm going through.

[Jenna]

It does not change. If you're not going through something either.

[Esther]

This thing that I'm going through changes.

[Jenna]

Your cream savers are all year round.

[Kalila]

I don't need any of those.

[Jenna]

You could wait until 30 years from now to have another cream saver.

[Esther]

I will, I will, I will.

[Kalila]

I feel like I'm on your sister's side here. Are you an almond sister?

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Jenna]

What's an almond sister?

[Kalila]

Almond.

[Esther]

Like an almond mom, but a sister. I'm so mean to her, and she just. It's so funny. Like, I'm just such a little cockroach to her. Nothing I say matters.

[Kalila]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Almond mom is someone who is always patrolling their daughter's weight.

[Jenna]

That's gross.

[Esther]

The classic thing is, mom, I'm hungry. Okay, Have a handful of almonds.

[Kalila]

Yeah, Very Yolanda Hadid.

[Esther]

I have an almond mom, and I think you know that I, too, have.

[Kalila]

A version of an almond mom.

[Esther]

Jenna has a very different mom than us. I mean, very free spirit.

[Jenna]

Yeah. Like, she's Jew, but, like, hippie Jew. Like, I remember growing up, if I was hungry every 40 minutes, I would eat every 40 minutes. And I remember sometimes. And then in the other way, I remember my dad coming from, like, a traditional Mexican family would be like, you didn't finish. You didn't finish. It's no more. And my mom would be like, she said she's full, so she knows when she's full. I didn't hear that or clock that until I was much Older, but, like, she never commented on her weight. She never wore makeup.

[Esther]

I could never imagine one of my parents going to bat for me against the other.

[Kalila]

Really?

[Esther]

Yeah. That was not sweet. The vibe.

[Jenna]

That's sad.

[Kalila]

That makes me sad. Why are we doing a 90s theme today?

[Guest]

You were talking about how you love the Scream movies.

[Kalila]

Oh, yeah.

[Guest]

Then you watch Titanic, which came out in 97, and I would love to hear.

[Kalila]

What a chokehold. I mean, that poster of Leo above my bed after Titanic. Do you? I did. I've told this story before where I wrote him a long letter. I pressed flowers. It took me like a. It's like a three week process.

[Esther]

And you must really love that.

[Kalila]

I never even got, like a signed autograph. Nothing.

[Jenna]

Should we try and get it to him now?

[Jules]

He wouldn't be interested. He likes them young.

[Kalila]

Oh, you're still under the cut off.

[Jules]

Oh, true. But he doesn't like ugly.

[Kalila]

No, he doesn't like them brown. I don't think.

[Jules]

I don't think so.

[Jenna]

Yeah, he doesn't like them brown. I don't think. Also, it's. It's nasty. It's. It makes him unattractive. The fact that he likes young girls. It's like I don't even see him as an attractive person anymore. Yeah, it's like, yuck. Nasty.

[Esther]

Emotional pedophile, arrested developer. You want to be with someone that's like, so much dumber than you.

[Kalila]

And that rumor where you said, like, he wears headphones when he has sex.

[Esther]

Oh, yeah, I heard that. So I think that the millennial dating crisis of dating apps and all the things that we're facing right now can all be traced back to the movie Titanic. And I'll tell you why. Okay, Rose Dicator. First of all, this whole story, it's like we all remember what this love story. They should have been together. He should have survived. Oh, my God, it was amazing. Watch the fucking movie as an adult. First of all, this woman is having a mental breakdown. At the start of the movie, she tries to kill herself. She's about. She's engaged to a wealthy man and she's upset about it, and she's like, this isn't good enough for me. I do understand that he does become abusive later, and that could be seen as a problem. But he's so rich and not ugly.

[Kalila]

Billy Zane.

[Esther]

So I had a crush on him.

[Jenna]

I had a friend who dated him like four, five years ago.

[Kalila]

I do see him on the apps.

[Esther]

You do?

[Kalila]

I think I. Yeah.

[Esther]

I would die.

[Jules]

Really?

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Esther]

Calden Hockley Is that his name in the movie?

[Jenna]

Oh, God.

[Esther]

So along comes this broke homeless man.

[Jenna]

Sounds hot.

[Esther]

When they ask him where he's living.

[Kalila]

He'S tied right there, basically.

[Esther]

He's like, I'm in between.

[Jenna]

Does he work on the.

[Jules]

On the boat?

[Esther]

They ask, where do you live?

[Kalila]

Is he a line cook?

[Esther]

Right now? His address is. Is RMS Titanic. This man is.

[Jenna]

Okay, so he works under the boat.

[Esther]

And he's trying to get her to leave her fiance.

[Jenna]

Okay, I love it.

[Esther]

No, no, no. And then what's crazy is, like, once she finally does decide, I feel like he to lead. She's like, when the. When the ship skedocks, I'm getting off with you. I think real people who are studying this can see. He's like, oh, fuck. He's like, I'm gonna be stuck with this crazy woman. I think he's regretting it now, of course, because it's like a love story. We have be like, oh, they're so perfect. Whatever. I'm telling you, the only good thing that that man did was let her float on the door frame by herself and him die in the ocean. And I think he did on purpose because he wanted to die. He didn't want to go and spend his life with this woman and, like, deal with her. He's a fuck boy. And then. Oh, my God. When he. When she's going through his drawings.

[Kalila]

Oh, and all the women are naked. Are naked. And he. And yeah.

[Esther]

Oh, he's like, no, I never hooked up with him. Okay, you just had the naked women, and you're a hot guy.

[Jenna]

Oh, my God. That's like. You had naked women in your phone and you go, oh, I never hooked up with them. I never. I never talked to them.

[Kalila]

Right?

[Esther]

He's so shady.

[Kalila]

Jack is a fuck. You're ruining my childhood.

[Esther]

But no, And I think this is why millennial women have, like, a dating crisis, because we're fucked up from this movie. We walk away from that movie being like, jack and Rose. Jack and Rose. No, these two are crazy.

[Jenna]

Probably everything that we idolized in movies back then.

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Jenna]

Like Boy Nation.

[Esther]

And then she goes on to think.

[Kalila]

Like, he's a Devin Sawa as Casper.

[Jenna]

I love Devon Sawa. I just told Esther that my haircut was Devin Sauen. She's like, who's that?

[Guest]

He's on our other podcast next week.

[Kalila]

Oh, really? Oh, no, he was the kid Casper. He was the ghost in Casper.

[Jenna]

Oh, wait, is that the other guy with the hair like that?

[Kalila]

He was in Little Giants.

[Esther]

Do you guys really Remember the people in movies you saw 20 years ago?

[Kalila]

I mean, he was just like a heart thorough Rob. He was like such a hot boy back then.

[Esther]

And Jenna, your hair looks like Jared Leto in My so Called Life.

[Jenna]

I was like, my hair looks like Devin Sao. She's like, no, you're not Jared Leto.

[Esther]

Anyways, Titanic is so shady and it. It's all about a boy.

[Jules]

But I also saw like a similar movie, Materialist, the new movie with Dakota. And I was just so mad because. Because this chose the broke guy instead of Pedro Pascal millionaire. And like at the end, Chris Evans like proposed to her and he couldn't afford a ring. He just gave her a flower. And it's like, do you want to do something stupid?

[Esther]

Ew.

[Jules]

And it was just so stupid.

[Kalila]

Wait, okay, tell me though. Was Pedro Pascal rich?

[Jules]

But like, there was nothing wrong except for the surgery because there was.

[Kalila]

Was.

[Jules]

They said that there was a surgery where you can like break your bones to make you taller.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Jules]

And that was the only thing that he did. He wasn't abusive. He wasn't.

[Kalila]

Was there some chemistry between them?

[Jules]

There was.

[Kalila]

He.

[Jules]

She liked her. But then Dakota and Chris Evans had a previous relationship, so she felt more drawn to not really into that because.

[Jenna]

Also it's like somehow no matter what the white guy wants, my.

[Kalila]

My basis for. For all of this is. It's okay that he is. This is like real life now, not movies. When you're choosing a man, it's okay that he hasn't quite reached his financial peak. It's okay. Yeah. Whatever it is.

[Jenna]

Or his financial peak is different.

[Kalila]

Yeah. I need to know that if everything ends for me tomorrow, that this is gonna to it has us. That he's going to do by hook or crook, make sure that there is shelter over my head, that there is food on the table, that we are safe and protected. If you cannot guarantee me this, I am never letting you in here. Like never.

[Esther]

It's totally about like being with someone that's not a do nothing. Like a guy who's just like fine with nothing.

[Jenna]

Yeah, that's a no.

[Esther]

They can be broke, but it's like as long as they're on their climb and they're build and they have passion.

[Jenna]

And continue continuously working towards. Oh yeah.

[Kalila]

I mean, I'm always thinking post apocalyptic stuff though. I need to know that he can protect and serve the family.

[Esther]

Well, you know, I didn't think that one through because Dave said the second the apocalypse comes, he's hanging himself and that me and Dona and Ace are on our own.

[Kalila]

You have, Jenna, you have.

[Jenna]

I feel like you were thinking of me, though. You were like, that's okay, I have my husband.

[Esther]

No, what I really thought was, that's okay, I'm getting a straight jacket. You're staying alive. I'll drag you along with us.

[Kalila]

I'd drag you along. I do want to see you and Dave, like, physically, like, like fight.

[Jules]

Do you guys ever fight physically? Well, like, crazy, crazy fights.

[Esther]

No. I mean, I had, like, some crazy outbursts when I was in my 20s for sure, but no, not. We have not fought in a long time like that.

[Jenna]

Okay. I saw.

[Esther]

I've been trained. I've been domesticated by therapists, a team of therapists.

[Jenna]

Speaking of men, I saw this video from this man who's like, a therapist, and he had. And he's raising, like, three sons. And this woman asked, do you think that men should always pay for the meal? And I, in my head, I'm like, ew, no, that's ridiculous. It's about equality. And like, the man answered with the most brilliant, truthful response that you cannot deny. He goes, well, I always teach my sons that even if you have less money than any woman speaking in, like, a hetero relationship, you are paying for their meals no matter what. And she goes, why? He said it is the bare minimum that you could do, because in any relationship, even if you are just having sex with that person, sex is way riskier for women than it is men emotionally, physically, disease wise. And men will always, always, always benefit more from a relationship with a woman than a woman will the marriage. It's not about, like, some old timey values of, like, men have to pay for everything. No, it's like, you literally must pay in some way, because the way that you benefit from being in a relationship with women is astronomic.

[Kalila]

It's always lopsided.

[Esther]

You should send that to the guy who buys your matcha. Be like, where you at?

[Jules]

Where you at?

[Kalila]

I don't agree with a ton of Jordan Peters, but he does, in his own, like, you know, slightly misogynistic way, say that, you know, men have to rise up because the cost to our bodies to be mothers, the cost to our bodies just to be, like, just women.

[Jenna]

It's about understanding and, like, seeing and acknowledging that us as women go through so much more on a daily basis to our bodies, to our minds. Like, any type of relationship that we're in, we're doing so much emotional labor, so just, like, rise up in, in every way.

[Kalila]

There is also that theory that Men, like you said, benefit. They have the marriage glow up and the women have the marriage glow down. It's not the same for us. We get uglier, sadder, angrier, autoimmune, sometimes fatter. Yeah.

[Esther]

Last night, or was it two nights ago when Dave was saying that the women who are children of divorce are more likely to get a divorce than the sons.

[Jenna]

35% more.

[Esther]

30% more like daughters of divorce are 60% more likely to get a divorce, whereas the male counterpart is only 30% more likely.

[Kalila]

Oh, really?

[Esther]

And I was thinking. I was like, that might just be because more women want divorces. Like, women aren't women. I feel like now that we're adults learning, like, women are more likely the one that asked for the divorce.

[Kalila]

Yeah. I think, like, after Covid, after the families were forced to, like, hunker down and really spend time together, I think it was like, something really lopsided. Like, 90% of the divorces filed that year were from women.

[Jules]

Whoa.

[Kalila]

Being like, I don't. I don't need a fifth baby.

[Jenna]

Or like, when. When you're home, there's not this balance. Like, when you're home, I'm still doing everything. Yeah.

[Kalila]

Then you just have extra labor for them.

[Guest]

I mean, I've been divorced twice. And I can say.

[Kalila]

That the reason.

[Guest]

I mean, my mom was divorced is it's truly. It's always just been an option. Like, for me, in my mind, mentally.

[Kalila]

A divorce is always an option.

[Esther]

Yeah, because your mom is divorced.

[Jenna]

No.

[Guest]

And they didn't raise me religiously. And, like, I didn't really have a concept of marriage. I didn't really. And that's probably my bad.

[Kalila]

That's probably my. It's so cute.

[Esther]

No.

[Kalila]

Two divorces. Such a hot girl move. But I just.

[Guest]

I really was like, I'm unhappy and I'm more miserable in this relationship. Why would I stay in it? Goodbye. And it didn't there. Of course, it was painful and awful, but, like, I didn't think about my parents in guilty way or anything like that, so.

[Jenna]

Right. Or, like, what they would think.

[Kalila]

I think that is the better alternative, though, to know that it is always there because protects the women. We come from a country where divorce is still not fully accepted or legal. And even if you were to prove in court that you are in an abusive relationship, that your husband was raping you, that you were beaten every day, you still could not, as a woman, like, file for divorce. There is no divorce. Right. Because it is a very. It is a government, like, very much, like, influenced by religion in the Catholic Church. So family values. And, like, the idea of family is. Holds much more water than the safety of a woman, or the optics of a family is more important than the safety of a woman, which really sucks. And there are a lot of people, like, fighting for to change it. Where is it now, Jules? It's still not legal, right?

[Jules]

Not legal to divorce. Unless you're, like, really, really rich.

[Kalila]

Then you can just get an annulment. But you need a lot of money.

[Jenna]

Men can divorce, right?

[Kalila]

No, they can get annulled if they're rich. Like, you need a lot of money. You need a lot of money.

[Jenna]

Wow.

[Kalila]

And it sucks. So I like that option of being like, you know what?

[Ad]

It's.

[Kalila]

That's always on the table. If this isn't serving me anymore.

[Jenna]

Yeah. And why the do people gawk at divorces? It's like, it's a breakup.

[Kalila]

Who cares? It's just a breakup.

[Esther]

So I haven't been feeling well. I'm, like, adjusting medication and stuff, and I've just been feeling sick, you know, so I'm just off my game in every element area of my life. And so, you know, the other day, like, Dave came downstairs to tuck me in.

[Jenna]

That's so cute. And I love that.

[Esther]

And he was like, do you still love me? And I was like, dave. And I was like, you know what? It's so funny you asked that, because I was just thinking about. Literally, like an hour before, I was thinking about if Dave ever tried to break up with me, I think I would have to kill him. And, like, I think, like, I don't. I wouldn't want to do that because, like, then where does that leave Ace and Donut?

[Jules]

But.

[Esther]

And so I told. I was like. I was just thinking that. And he's like, oh, okay. I feel so much better.

[Jenna]

I love that because there are, like, these two narratives that you guys are having in your mind that, like, like, are. That's so funny. R asks me all the time. You still love me.

[Kalila]

That's not the conversation I had the other day. What do you mean, beautiful lover?

[Jenna]

What?

[Kalila]

I've just been so, like, exhausted.

[Jenna]

That's fair.

[Kalila]

And, like, it's just. I haven't slept for more than three hours at a time for the last year. And so my brain is mush. My brain is jumbled.

[Jenna]

So funny, because it works 70 times better than all.

[Kalila]

And I'm a little touched out. I'm a little bit, like, I. With an unprompted. I was like, you know, I'm really sorry. But, like, I really have, like, zero to give to the relationship at the moment. Like, that's just the truth. And I don't want you. It's not a you thing. It's literally like, I'm. I feel like you're depleted. I'm depleted. I have, like, nothing. And. Oh, he's just. Thank God for a securely attached man.

[Jenna]

And he's like, you are securely attached. I was just gonna say, because you said that you weren't scared to say that, right?

[Kalila]

He was just like, duh.

[Esther]

He was.

[Kalila]

I thought for sure that maybe because of my previous, like, relationship experience that he would be like, what do you mean you have nothing? He probably thought, oh, we're gonna break up. He was just like, no, lady, I see you every day. You're like, I'm like, I. I feel sorry for you. Like, I'm trying my best. And he was like, no, no, it's okay. Like, like that.

[Esther]

It's.

[Kalila]

You have nothing to give, but it's not forever. It's just a season.

[Jenna]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

And I was like, well, thank you.

[Esther]

I'm really glad that you're sharing that because I do feel like I'm going through that too right now. And it's really taking a hit to my self esteem because a big part of my self esteem is, like, the things that I'm able to do for my family and, like, my loved ones. And, like, a big part of that is, like, Jenna knows, like, I love cooking for you and Dave, especially Dave. But honestly, especially you too. Like, I love cooking for you guys.

[Kalila]

She really, like, lets you know when she likes something, and it is a thrill, isn't it? I made her the worst, most dried up piece of tuna, and she was like, this is the best fish I've ever had.

[Jenna]

I was talking about it for a long time. It was like a tuna steak, and it was so good.

[Esther]

But I haven't been able to be cooking for you guys lately. And it's like, oh, that, like, sits with me and haunts me. Like, I'm like, yeah, you said the other said about it.

[Jenna]

Yeah. Like, I feel like I'm not, like, being a partner to Dave. I'm not doing anything. And it's like, you are. You're there.

[Esther]

So I don't know, I just. I'm like, grateful to hear you share that feeling too, because I, like, I want to almost like, normalize just for myself. Like, sometimes I can't be my fullest self. And like, that's okay. I will be soon.

[Kalila]

You know, I think as long as it's communicated, if I'm just stonewalling my partner, and if I'm just being, like, raging cunt all day, and I'm not having moments of, like, apology and, like, I always apologize. I'm always like. Like, that wasn't my. I wasn't operating from my higher self, as my therapist would say. And as long as, you know, I am, like, checking myself, too. Like, I can't get away with murder, right? Like, I can't get away with just shitty behavior. Like, there has to be, like, constant, like, reassurance and conversation and be like, I feel like I'm out of my mind. I am exhausted. Like, I don't like this version of myself. I'm really sorry. And if you have that, it's okay.

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Jenna]

And you're fully acknowledging it. So the other person doesn't feel like, is this just how they act? Are they not noticing this? I think that the best is when you have a partner, like both of yours and ours the same way. Like, when I was going through all of my health stuff after vaccination and Covid and all of that for, like, two and a half years, I wasn't my best self. Two and a half years. I was like, who would want to be with me? And he was there all the time. And I just kept. I kept having those thoughts of, like, I'm not even fun to be around.

[Esther]

You're like, I have no value.

[Jenna]

I'm crying all the time. I don't want to go do things. I have nothing to give. This is bad. But when you have a relationship that's established and they know your. I don't wanna say better self, but they know the person that you intend to be and want to be and have been. They have that understanding. I mean, I would, like, SOB in therapy sessions and be like, I just. Like, I don't know who would wanna be with me. This doesn't make sense. And he just kept saying, like, this is just a wave. This happens. You're gonna get through this. You're gonna get out of this. But when. When it was two years, I was like, I don't know. Maybe this is me. And so to have a partner, I think, like, you guys were saying, who? Like, yeah, bitch. Who just, like, doesn't make it a big. Yeah, that makes sense. This is normal. You can feel. You don't feel guilty anymore, and you don't feel like you're not offering anything.

[Esther]

Jules, have you ever had this experience where you're not your best self?

[Jules]

Oh, yeah. Like, with My ex, he was like, really patient with me. Like, I. I can be so, like, mean and bitchy to people that I love.

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

I'm gonna get that in writing.

[Jules]

Like, in college.

[Jenna]

Rewind.

[Kalila]

And I need it signed and acknowledged.

[Jules]

Like, in college, I was just so stressed. Like, I was.

[Jenna]

I was stressed and, like, him.

[Jules]

I lash out on him, but then, obviously, I say sorry. And then he's always, like, understanding. He's like, it's fine. Like, I get you. I understand what you're going. So it's like, it's okay.

[Esther]

How are you feeling about, like, your breakup? We haven't, like, talked about that in a while.

[Jules]

I'm still, like, trying not to think about it. Yeah, I don't. I don't know. That's how I cope, I guess. Yeah.

[Jenna]

And do you ever actually process it, though?

[Jules]

I don't know. Because last night I had, like, big emotions, and I wanted to cut my hair again at the look.

[Kalila]

Listen, I. I support the big emotions. I support talking about big emotions, feeling them lashing out. I have a hair care brand that is launching in a very important retailer soon.

[Jules]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

And if you cut your hair, you cut your hair. And I no longer have.

[Jules]

I know.

[Kalila]

Listen. I currently have postpartum hair loss, and I don't have any backup strands, and.

[Jenna]

I accidentally cut my hair.

[Kalila]

You cut your hair? Oh, I still have you, little lady.

[Esther]

But Jules, hair is like. I've never, ever looked at someone's hair and been like, that is the best hair. Because I really feel like I have the best hair. But you.

[Kalila]

No, she has the best hair.

[Esther]

Have the best hair.

[Jenna]

Thanks. I've been looking at this whole. It's like, what?

[Esther]

It's.

[Jules]

This is unreal.

[Guest]

So think of the family jewels.

[Jules]

I know. That's why I stopped.

[Kalila]

And then, by the way, Meg, my soul cycle instructor, who had mermaid hair, who was my EBB hair model, also cut her hair.

[Jenna]

She cut it the day I visited.

[Jules]

Hair.

[Kalila]

And it's beautiful. Short hair is beautiful. Love it all.

[Esther]

I actually think Jenna is a good. I think short hair is a good hair model, too. No, because you're, like. You look like a surfer dude, and it fits the brand.

[Jules]

But Atigena with short hair is always, like, better. Like, you. You're the hottest.

[Jenna]

That's because you like lesbians. I miss my long hair so much. Like, so, so much.

[Kalila]

I do think she's right. So, though, I feel like you look, like, cuter and more friendly.

[Jenna]

Yeah, that's really nice to hear, because I. I cut it four years ago. Because I was in a similar feeling that you had. And I haven't stopped missing it. Like I always, I look back because I have wave and like curl to my hair, but not if it's short. I see how yours, like the wave starts down here.

[Jules]

I saw pictures of you with long hair, but I think, yeah, I do.

[Kalila]

Want to touch on this. Just because I touched on it on a tik tok that I didn't real become a full out fight between people. And that is my whole life. Growing up in the Philippines, I the idea all the hot girls and the baddies would show up to work, to school with wet hair. And not just wet hair. With the scent of their whatever fresh shampoo they had just put in their head that morning. And it was such like, it was a vibe. Like it was an aesthetic Herbal Essence Palmolive in Philippines. We had cream silk and it was just the vibe. And, and Jules can attest to this. You went to school and you were like, you were the hot girl with. And they would always say, oh, what shampoo are you wearing?

[Jenna]

What? Yeah, what is the red carpet for shampoos? Yes, yes, yes.

[Kalila]

And then when I came to America, I would show up to things, to meetings with wet hair, show up to school with wet hair. And the opposite would happen.

[Jenna]

Yeah, it was more like rush out.

[Kalila]

Yeah. Did you just rush out? Were you lazy? Did you run out of time? This is unprofessional. And it never occurred to me that water drying on my head was such a big issue for employers. Or to give off the optics of like, oh, I like, I'm here and I'm a professional. Like, why the does it matter if my hair is wet or not? Like, why the does it actually matter objectively?

[Jules]

Tell me.

[Esther]

I love this take. I. I love anything that's like lazy, ish, but hot. I love. And like, if I did wash my hair often, I would love to go out with wet hair. I think that sounds so hot to me. It's. To me, it's like the hair equivalent of like wearing your boyfriend's oversized T shirt with nothing under. It's just like so like, oh, do I accidentally look like sexy? I think it's really hot. And I also think though it is worth pointing out that it is a privilege because some people can't just like air dry their hair. Cause then they won't like how it looks.

[Kalila]

Absolutely. That I get. If it's not something, you know, that looks aesthetically good for you and you feel like you have to hair dry, great.

[Jenna]

If you air dry your hair hair all the time. And I just go, yeah, I remember.

[Guest]

When you used to come to the studio and I was like this, wait.

[Esther]

Do you guys not air dry your hair?

[Jenna]

I can't dry my hair anymore because it's short and it will look.

[Esther]

So what, do you blow dry it?

[Jenna]

Yeah, I have to blow dry it. The last, the last podcast we did, it was air dried. When it was like, it looked the.

[Esther]

Same, it looked better.

[Jenna]

It looked absolutely different.

[Kalila]

It is. I do understand if, if it's just something that doesn't look good, like no one's forcing you to walk out with wet hair. However. However, I don't feel as though I should be called unprofessional or lazy when I show up to wet hair because I think that the effort is in the shower. I think that someone made that up. You should be so lucky that I thought this day important enough that I stepped into a shower and got fresh for you. So, like, when I posted this tick tock that morning, my sister was like, oh, it just happened to me today. Like I walked in and someone was like, oh, your hair is still wet. Like, as in like a negative way way, dude.

[Jenna]

Also, it's. I feel like it's lowkey racist. I kind of think too, some people's hair doesn't dry quickly. Have. Takes a whole day to dry.

[Kalila]

Exactly. Exactly.

[Jenna]

Like, my hair used to be wet the next morning.

[Kalila]

Still, if you have a lot of texture in your hair, a lot of big curls, a lot of just even like just generally thicker hair, it takes her hair a whole day to dry. Now think about blow drying. Do I have a hour, hour to blow dry my hair when I could be using that time to sleep in or dissociate with my thumb up my ass? I would rather do that. Why on earth would I sit there and just. And by the way, it's so damaging to your hair. I think so too. Remember when you got your first job and that paycheck and you were just counting down the hours?

[Jenna]

I had to go to the bank, deposit it, and then I had to wait.

[Kalila]

Cash app is built for the way you and your friends move and save the money. Splitting pizza with your friends, for example, or paying someone back for movie tickets. No need to wait forever to get paid back when it can be done in one tap.

[Jenna]

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[Kalila]

And for a limited time only new Cash App customers can use our exclusive code to earn additional cash for real. And if you're over 18, just download cash App and after you sign up, use our exclusive referral code Tuesday in your profile and you'll get $10 dropped right into your account when you send $5 or more to a friend within your first 14 days.

[Jenna]

And if you're 13 to 17 years old, request a sponsored account from a parent or a guardian. And then once you sign up, use your exclusive referral code Tuesday in your profile to get $10 dropped right into your account when you order and activate your free Cash App card and send $5 or more to a friend within the first 14 days days.

[Kalila]

Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App's bank partners Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank Member FDIC direct deposit roundups, overdraft coverage and discounts provided by Cash App a Block Inc. Brand. Visit cashapp.com legal podcast for full disclosures. I think what I hate the most about being invited anywhere is that I always feel the pressure to wear something like new or something that I haven't already worn like 10 times on camera.

[Jenna]

For example, I have two back to back weddings coming up in September.

[Kalila]

So new is a subscription clothing rental service for just $98 a month. So for instance, those two weddings you don't have, you can choose for whatever occasion is happening for you that month. They also have inclusive sizing, they have.

[Esther]

Reformation free people, they have legit good.

[Kalila]

Stuff and it's fast free shipping and returns and professional cleaning.

[Jenna]

Wait, so you don't have to do the cleaning before you send it back.

[Kalila]

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[Jenna]

Oh my God. Goodness.

[Kalila]

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[Jenna]

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[Esther]

I highly recommend it though because like I get a good dopamine hit from a new outfit and it's like then it sits in my closet and it never gets touched. So it's Like I might as well be saving money and getting more new stuff.

[Kalila]

Nuuly is a great value at 98amonth for any six styles. But right now you can get 28 off your first month of Nuuly. When you sign up with a Code Trash Tuesday, just go to N u l y dot com, that's Nuuly with two U's and enter the code Trash Tuesday and sign up to get 28 off your first month. That's n u-u l y.com newlywood2 use with code trash Tuesday. Newly subscription clothing rental. Change your clothes.

[Jenna]

Oh, you know, I be needing help organizing and managing my money. Columbia.

[Kalila]

I do too.

[Jenna]

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[Kalila]

And also I think about it like in relationships, like money can really break a lot of couples. And I feel like with Monarch we're on the same page. We're on the same page if we're looking at the same thing.

[Jenna]

And Monarch kind of does the heavy lifting for you, right? Because it's linking all of your accounts. And by the way, it does it super quickly in minutes and you can get clear data visuals so you know what you're looking at and you really have control over your money.

[Kalila]

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[Guest]

We have a game.

[Esther]

90S games, virtuals.

[Kalila]

Okay.

[Guest]

Basically I'm gonna put up an image from the 90s.

[Jules]

I'm not gonna know anything. I'll try.

[Esther]

No, I believe in you.

[Kalila]

Yeah, I believe in you.

[Esther]

You have to.

[Kalila]

You're a zillennial. Come on, tap into your millennial.

[Jules]

I guess. Yeah, you can get.

[Kalila]

When were you born? 2001. Oh my God. She wasn't even a sperm in the 90s. Yeah, you weren't even jizz, bro.

[Guest]

Okay, so we can do the first one.

[Esther]

Do you know who that is?

[Kalila]

Okay, I'll give you.

[Jules]

Yeah, give me the clues.

[Kalila]

Bill Clinton.

[Esther]

These are too big of hints.

[Kalila]

Do you remember who? Who?

[Guest]

How about like one, One word hint.

[Kalila]

Okay. Blowjob.

[Jules]

No, that's not. That's not Marilyn Monroe, is it, Is it the first lady? That then.

[Kalila]

Oh my God.

[Esther]

Please keep going. Please keep going.

[Kalila]

Give me your best guesses.

[Jules]

I just know it's not Marilyn Monroe.

[Kalila]

Okay, I'll tell you that. I'll tell you. It is not Marilyn Monroe.

[Jules]

Is it the first lady then?

[Esther]

No, it's not the first. Who do you think that is? The first Lady?

[Jules]

I don't know. Something Clinton for Asians.

[Kalila]

Honestly, white people are hard. I will give her that. It's a little bit of a tricky game.

[Jules]

Is, is it the assistant then?

[Kalila]

Okay.

[Jules]

I don't know the name, though.

[Kalila]

Yes.

[Jules]

Is he. Is she the one that snitched Eventually.

[Kalila]

I don't know.

[Jules]

Monica Lewinsky.

[Kalila]

Yay. We'll give her that point. Just because she said Marilyn Monroe. Okay.

[Jenna]

Yeah.

[Esther]

Okay, that's a clip.

[Jules]

Okay, so.

[Guest]

Of her hints.

[Jules]

It's.

[Guest]

Let's just do one word.

[Esther]

You're not playing only jewels. Unless he needs.

[Kalila]

Okay.

[Esther]

What is that?

[Jules]

Jewels. Oh, my God.

[Kalila]

That's kind of a. Yeah, that's a bad. I don't like that.

[Jenna]

If you know what it is, you know what it is.

[Esther]

Yeah, that's true.

[Jules]

The pet thing, right?

[Jenna]

Yes, yes.

[Esther]

Starts with a letter T, but that's not that one.

[Kalila]

Oh, that's not that one.

[Jules]

What do you.

[Esther]

What do you think it is?

[Jules]

I forgot the word, but explain what it is. I know it's like, you take care of this, like, pet thing.

[Kalila]

On.

[Jenna]

Is it the one that starts with an N?

[Jules]

No, first letter. What's the first G?

[Kalila]

Oh, I don't know this one.

[Jules]

Yeah, you do.

[Esther]

It's a Giga Pet.

[Kalila]

Oh, I don't know that one.

[Jenna]

Giga Pet. Nanopet and Tamagotchi.

[Kalila]

We only had Tamagotchi. Yeah, and we never call them Giga pets.

[Jules]

Sorry.

[Jenna]

Oh, really?

[Kalila]

Interesting. Okay, are we ready? Yes. Yes.

[Esther]

Jules, who is that?

[Jules]

Who is that?

[Kalila]

Rip.

[Jenna]

He has a brother.

[Jules]

Oh, brother of Joaquin Phoenix?

[Jenna]

No.

[Kalila]

Oh, you thought that's River Phoenix?

[Jules]

Yeah.

[Jenna]

He has a brother who's in a. A Who wasn't a boy band.

[Kalila]

Big boy band.

[Jules]

This is it. The Bye Bye Bye.

[Kalila]

It's one of the other.

[Jenna]

Know which one?

[Kalila]

The other. So that boy band. They're the other boy band. That.

[Jules]

Who's By. By. By. Is it with Justin Timberlake?

[Esther]

That's insane.

[Kalila]

That's insane.

[Jules]

I don't know.

[Esther]

Who could this be?

[Jules]

I don't know.

[Esther]

Who could this be?

[Jules]

Who is he? Aaron Carter.

[Kalila]

Aaron Carter.

[Jules]

Never heard of.

[Kalila]

Brother. Okay, next.

[Jules]

Who is Diana?

[Esther]

What do you know about her?

[Jules]

Her husband cheated on her with the ugly girl Camilla. Camilla.

[Kalila]

Because she's also now the queen.

[Jules]

And then.

[Kalila]

Yeah, the ugly girl is the queen.

[Esther]

Not.

[Jules]

Not queen.

[Kalila]

Yeah. I mean, she is because.

[Jules]

Oh, yeah. But then, yeah, she died from a car accident, but then allegedly, it's because of the.

[Kalila]

The.

[Jules]

Roy. The. The family.

[Esther]

Do you know the conspiracy theory? And do you know who her kids are?

[Jules]

Ch. Hen? No. Henry.

[Jenna]

Charles.

[Esther]

Harry.

[Kalila]

Harry.

[Jules]

The. With Megan.

[Kalila]

Yeah. Megan. Harry. Yeah.

[Esther]

Yeah. Who is that?

[Kalila]

Oh, yeah.

[Jenna]

Oh, I forget his name.

[Jules]

I know he's from the. That movie.

[Esther]

Which one?

[Jules]

Pearl Harbor.

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Jenna]

Yes.

[Jules]

I just don't know the names, guys. I don't know, but I know I'm bad.

[Jenna]

I don't know.

[Jules]

I'm so bad at names.

[Kalila]

He's coming. He's making a comeback.

[Jenna]

Okay, give a hint.

[Jules]

First letter.

[Jenna]

J. J.

[Kalila]

The game. It's not for you.

[Jules]

She wasn't gonna guess it.

[Esther]

We have. You're. You're not a participant in the game.

[Jenna]

I'm bad at these things too.

[Kalila]

Okay, next.

[Guest]

This is actually for Esther, cuz.

[Jenna]

Esther, I know who that is already with the hair. I saw the hair. Esther.

[Esther]

I know. Now do you know Peter?

[Jenna]

Peter Pan?

[Esther]

What do you mean by that?

[Kalila]

Like from Hook?

[Jules]

Yeah, the live action. Cuz everyone said that Peter Pan was so hot the live action didn't exist. But I don't know, I don't think.

[Guest]

I think it was.

[Jules]

That was that guy.

[Esther]

So you don't think that looks like Kristen Wiig? You know what?

[Kalila]

I see it.

[Esther]

I'm telling you guys.

[Kalila]

I guess I have to reiterate.

[Jenna]

Rate it.

[Kalila]

For us Asians, the whites are a little hard to decipher.

[Jenna]

Who is identical to you?

[Kalila]

Yeah. Have you seen the movie Casper?

[Jules]

Oh yeah, I've seen it.

[Kalila]

Yeah, that's Devin Saw.

[Jenna]

Devin Sawa, the one I was talking about how that my hair looked like.

[Kalila]

Okay, so.

[Jenna]

Oh, I know what it is already.

[Kalila]

I don't.

[Esther]

Don't say it's not for you.

[Jules]

This is more just like.

[Kalila]

What is this?

[Esther]

What like app was that the logo for?

[Jenna]

That's a hard one.

[Kalila]

I'll give you the description on what it did. It had to do with music.

[Jules]

Is it like MP3? Three? Yes, that's all I know. MP3.

[Kalila]

Back in the day we had to steal. Steal and download music.

[Jules]

I just know MP3, MP4.

[Guest]

Okay, well, I mean it's Napster.

[Jenna]

Napster?

[Kalila]

But it was a Napster. Not 90s. I thought it was 2000s. Oh, cuz I was in college.

[Jenna]

Really?

[Kalila]

Yeah, I was in junior high.

[Jenna]

I was in high school. School?

[Kalila]

Yeah. I just didn't have a computer.

[Jenna]

It was the home computer.

[Esther]

Yeah, but it was 2000s when we were in junior high.

[Jenna]

What?

[Esther]

99.

[Kalila]

Okay, okay, close enough, close enough.

[Esther]

Some people say that the. The decade starts the year before. So you could argue. People often say that.

[Jenna]

Do we have time for one thing?

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Jenna]

Okay. Yeah. Something happened to me this week. I told you. You. And I just need to know from all y' all and people out there if this has ever happened to you. So I rarely use my vibrator. I got it like five Years ago. And because I rarely use it, I've used it, like, six times. The battery was going up, so I was like, really just trying to orgasm and using it. Like, it would turn on for three seconds and then turn off. Stop.

[Kalila]

Keep it together.

[Jenna]

Keep it together.

[Kalila]

Yeah, like poker phase.

[Jenna]

Hmm. You know, this is funny because when I told her earlier in the week, she was like, yeah, whatever, who cares? And now make it stop. Okay, but this is important. What I'm saying is important to what happened. This part of the story is pertinent. So by nature, I was, like, turning it on for three seconds and turning off. Turning off for three seconds, just, like, trying to make it happen fast. Okay. I. Orgasm. What? Mean I go deaf for about a minute and a half. Yeah. And I've had ear problems before, and it didn't. It didn't sound like what had happened. And I just go, okay, okay. I don't know what's happening, but all right, everything's going to be okay. And I'm just, like, talking to myself. I drink water, I sit back down. I go, all right. Well, like, blood was rushing in different areas. So then I get to. Shut your fucking face up, you dumb bitch. So then I go to. Also, what you're doing is sexist. I go and I look it up online, and there's this whole, like, Reddit feed of people talking about how they go deaf after they come. Women. Has this happened to any of you?

[Kalila]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Jenna]

This was so scary.

[Kalila]

Well, for one, you probably blew a couple gaskets, but it must have been a good one.

[Jenna]

Well, what they were saying was that if you are, like, if it happens too fast. If there's not. Which is, like, all the women build up. Yes.

[Kalila]

From start to finish is.

[Jenna]

Happens too fast. And the women were saying, like, yeah, if. If I'm just masturbating and I'm not actually having sex, and I was obviously trying to go fast. The battery was running out.

[Kalila]

That is so telling, because it basically is all to say that, like, you come harder when it's by yourself. Yourself. You go deaf when you. Yourself. But when someone else you. It's like, my ears are intact.

[Jenna]

No gas gets blown. And they were saying, like, if you orgasm and then you, like, try to orgasm again, but like, using a vibrator or masturbating with yourself.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Jenna]

That it's happened and it happens to women. And it's like the surge of hormones, but also that your blood pressure or the blood going in the lower half of your body so quick. Quickly.

[Kalila]

You also. I Feel like a lot of. Especially when you're fighting. Fighting to come.

[Jenna]

That's what it was.

[Kalila]

It is very, like, head heavy. I was like, you're kind of like, holding your breath, you know?

[Jules]

Can I share. Can I share something, too, please?

[Kalila]

Yes. Yeah. Share.

[Jules]

No, like, this was when we were living at Titobabies, like two years ago at the. I think you. I think you bought like a vibrator. The flower vibrator.

[Kalila]

I'm not a vibes girl girl.

[Jenna]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

It might have been Bobby's because he uses vibrator suit.

[Jules]

No, but then it was. It was unopened, and then it got delivered. I opened. Oh, it's a flower vibrator.

[Kalila]

And it's not. It wasn't mine. Oh.

[Jules]

But then I wait. I waited three weeks and then I stole it.

[Kalila]

Oh, okay.

[Jules]

But then I always thought it was.

[Kalila]

Yours, so I was like, no, you stole from Bobby. And it's a great.

[Jenna]

It's.

[Kalila]

That kind of thievery works because I promise you, he doesn't remember. He ordered it.

[Jules]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Jenna]

Oh, my God, that is so. And did you use it or you.

[Jules]

Yeah, that's why.

[Kalila]

Yeah. All right, Jules. No, no, I like that kind of theft. All good.

[Jenna]

Yeah, that's great. Yeah. This is the. For my first vibrator I've ever bought was, like, from five years ago. And it has this, like, it. It has like 20 different vibration settings, but it has like, the suction on it, too. Shit's scary. Makes you go down.

[Kalila]

Yeah, I. You know, I. I hate how. How not progressive I am in the contraptions department. I'm just not. I tried like, one. I had a meltdown one time, and I'm like, I want to be that girl. So then I went to a store and. And I bought like a ton. And maybe like, there was one occasion where I was like, okay, hey, I just. That's not for me. I'm an old school.

[Guest]

You just raw dog it every time.

[Kalila]

What do you mean by raw dog? Do I fist myself?

[Esther]

Stella.

[Guest]

Well, just hand only.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah. Hand is the best.

[Esther]

Look at her hands.

[Kalila]

Look at my hands.

[Esther]

Those were my hands.

[Jenna]

I need a hand and like a hump.

[Kalila]

Oh, you like to hump things as. Why?

[Jenna]

Yeah, I don't, but that's why the vibrator is also like. It feels confusing. The vibrator.

[Esther]

You're like a boy dog. You like to hum.

[Kalila]

Jules, can you name all of these?

[Jenna]

I like to ride.

[Jules]

No, I. I just know Victoria. Victoria. Oh, you only know posh, that's all.

[Jenna]

Do I really?

[Jules]

I'm not good with names.

[Esther]

I'm.

[Jules]

I'm so bad.

[Kalila]

Oh, yeah. We'll name all of Blackpink.

[Jules]

Oh, well, that's different.

[Kalila]

Name all of One Direction.

[Jules]

That's different. It's not like I. I'm, like, in love with them and, like, want to know them. I just know a couple songs.

[Jenna]

If you want to be my love.

[Kalila]

Iconic.

[Jules]

That song I. I learned from Chicken Little.

[Esther]

What is Chicken Little?

[Jenna]

That's embarrassing for us.

[Kalila]

The movie Chicken Little is cute.

[Jules]

Is that Peter Pan?

[Jenna]

That was cute.

[Kalila]

Thanks, Jules, for sharing that. You stole Bobby's Vibrant.

[Esther]

That's funny.

[Jenna]

That is so great. So you like the vibrator then?

[Jules]

Yeah, because I heard on Tick Tock that the flower vibrator is so good. And then I was like, I think bought it.

[Kalila]

I wish.

[Jules]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

I wish I. You know, I was hip to that.

[Jenna]

I'm trying to. To get into vibrators. And then I went deaf, so it's like I feel scared now.

[Kalila]

It's just too high powered for me. I like to keep my threshold very low so that when a man sucks in bed, he can still get me to come.

[Jenna]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

Because if it's like, if a vibrator is so effective and if a tool is so effective at making me come, my threshold is so high, so therefore he would have to work so hard.

[Jenna]

No, it's true. Your nerves. I mean, it's the same thing when men masturbate with, like, a grip that's super, super tight. It's just true. And then they have sex or they get head, and it's not, like, the same. Yeah, yeah. It's real.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Guest]

It's kind of like a motorboat for you.

[Kalila]

Like, you explain. Like, you prefer.

[Esther]

That's something else.

[Kalila]

It's slower.

[Guest]

A slower kind of. Then you get there and. Or like a canoe rather than like a speed canoe.

[Kalila]

I think what it is, what it comes down to is that. And hate to fleck on you, but it.

[Esther]

Oh, I hate this. I know you're gonna say, I think I'm the same.

[Kalila]

So easy. I never want to lose that.

[Jenna]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

I. It's like it's never been a problem for me. I. A light breeze will get me there, so I never want to lose that ability.

[Jenna]

I agree. Yeah. Sometimes I'm like, you don't have to. You really have to do a lot less.

[Kalila]

I make men feel amazing. Like, I need. I really wanted to be that girl who's. Yeah. I.

[Esther]

Let's give it a try.

[Kalila]

My eyes switch. You saw that.

[Jules]

That was me.

[Kalila]

Coming. You know, I understand you so much better now.

[Esther]

Why?

[Jenna]

Since what?

[Kalila]

Becoming a mom.

[Jenna]

Oh.

[Kalila]

There is something that happens. That happened in my body that. Where like, I am. Like. I'm talking about sex. Is that okay? It's weird, right?

[Jenna]

Okay. But Esther was like that before she became a mom.

[Esther]

But I wasn't. I was, wasn't. I always was with you.

[Jenna]

You were. You were allowed to talk about your sex life or anything in a. In just however you wanted. But as soon as I like either.

[Esther]

Because me and Kalila breastfeeding.

[Jenna]

What is happening?

[Esther]

Me and Kalila are so cool when we talk about it. Yeah, you're just not.

[Jenna]

You sound cool.

[Esther]

We're just really, really cool.

[Kalila]

Okay. I'm gonna return to you. Your thong has dried, madam.

[Esther]

Why did you even bring that?

[Jules]

Why so many things in your bag at the.

[Jenna]

Because I have to be prepared for all the things.

[Esther]

Where are you going? For what? To do a la.

[Jenna]

That is from tanning outside and my friends.

[Kalila]

Your cheeks.

[Jenna]

Yeah, your booty cheeks.

[Kalila]

That's a good answer.

[Jules]

You have the. The baked good thing.

[Kalila]

Explain it.

[Jenna]

Oh, well, this was because I wanted to make cornbread this week, and it got lost in my.

[Kalila]

And you're not worried that the cornbread mix might get into here and cause a ph.

[Jenna]

It's closed. And it's closed. And it's like, I'm only wearing that if I'm going into a place. Pool.

[Kalila]

Okay.

[Jenna]

And so it's all. It's getting out of there and wet.

[Kalila]

Because you could accidentally make some not.

[Jenna]

Fun batter, have some yeast up in this oven.

[Kalila]

Yeah, well. Well, okay.

[Jenna]

But I did bring that.

[Esther]

Thank you.

[Kalila]

It is sold out. Yeah. And I'm panicking.

[Jenna]

You better figure that out because I've got that much left.

[Kalila]

I'm trying to figure it out for myself too, lady.

[Jenna]

Wait, really?

[Kalila]

Yeah. No, it sold out. And I. I know that I am the founder of the brand, but we are scrambling to get a lot more made, and it's not coming fast enough. And I am panicking. Really, I'm panicking.

[Jenna]

It'll. It'll.

[Kalila]

It's the only thing that doesn't cause me to, like, break out because I have eczema. It's. It's the only thing that honestly, you know, people wait.

[Jenna]

People will wait. Like, I know, but it's.

[Kalila]

It's really the only thing that doesn't me skin up or my hair.

[Jenna]

People wait for my deodorant for, like, months because I'm the only one making it. I think that when they trust it, like, they trust E.B. yeah. They're going to wait. Even if they have to buy something else in the interim, they will come back to you.

[Kalila]

So if you guys are panicking over EB So am I. Okay. And my whole family.

[Jenna]

So, Chester, are you panicking over E.B.

[Kalila]

Jules washes my dogs with E.B.

[Jules]

Yeah.

[Esther]

Really?

[Jenna]

Wait, really?

[Jules]

And they smell so good after we wash Donut. Yeah, I will.

[Jenna]

Will you wash est?

[Esther]

I really do love getting my hair washed by someone else. That's really important. Can EB Open like a shampoo center?

[Kalila]

Gosh, yes. Yes.

[Jenna]

All you do is, like, wash with that?

[Kalila]

All I want.

[Jenna]

And no, there's no dry. You wash. Oh, yeah. No, they're wet.

[Kalila]

No dry, no dry, no heat. Just air dry and take however long you want to air dry.

[Jenna]

Yep.

[Kalila]

No pressure.

[Jenna]

And you go to work. You go to all your appointments. Appointments.

[Esther]

Ah, you guys, thank you for being here. I'm going on tour and you can get tickets at pretty littlebaby tour.com. i'm coming to Denver, Portland, Seattle, Olympia, New York, Philly, Boston. I think that's about it.

[Jenna]

Good job.

[Esther]

There might be more. Madison, Wisconsin. So you can get tickets@pretty littlebaby tour.com. i can't wait for you guys to see all my new material Go to EBB Ocean Club.

[Kalila]

Even though we are sold out of shampoo, we still have a wait list. Some of the detangler spray left. So grab that before it's all gone because it's going.

[Jenna]

Go to buytagenna.com and get your natural deodorant.

[Kalila]

What you got, Jules?

[Jenna]

Jules is selling.

[Kalila]

Are you selling those? Oh, okay. It's okay if you're selling.

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

Advertising right now.

[Jules]

It's all right. Not right now.

[Esther]

We love you guys. Thank you for being here. We also have a Patreon, which you can access at the link below. And we have full bonus episodes there almost every single week. And we love you guys. We'll see you next week with a brand new episode.

[Kalila]

Sam.