Trash gets Messi FT. Jenna Jiménez

Summary

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Trash Tuesday w/ Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn

Episode: Trash Gets Messi FT. Jenna Jiménez

Date: June 30, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this lively and chaotic episode, Esther Povitsky and Khalyla Kuhn are joined by their longtime friend and honorary “slug,” Jenna Jiménez, for a deep dive into friendship dynamics, the chaos of sports (especially soccer and the World Cup), female body hair discourse, childhood and family traumas, and all the delightfully messy details of high school reunions. Blending real vulnerability, raunchy humor, and authentic moments, the Trash Tuesday trio deconstruct cultural norms, share personal stories, and tackle topics from fart transparency in relationships to the politics of tipping. Expect an episode packed with laughs, reflections on growing up, and candid conversation about the stuff we’re all just a little bit “trash” about.

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Key Discussion Points & Notable Segments

1. Sports, World Cup, and Soccer Stories (00:27–16:12, 21:21–22:24, 65:04–68:16)

• Kalila’s Relationship to Sports: Kalila admits she only follows certain sports, citing the Premier League and Champions League, but loves the inspiring underdog stories in sports. She and Jenna share their encyclopedic recall (00:27–02:36).
• Women’s Relationship with Sports: Esther’s history with sports is shaped by growing up with a gambling addict, making her crave stress and drama in finals. Esther: “For me, it’s all about, like, a close game. It’s all about, like, the stress of, like, the finals going to game seven.” (02:57)
• On World Cup Anthems and Shakira: The trio dissects the failure of a recent World Cup song and reminisces about Shakira’s iconic “Waka Waka” – notably, Shakira doesn’t name-drop her (now ex) partner Piqué, symbolizing her own power: “She does not mention her baby daddy. And I love that…” – Jenna (05:10)
• Shakira and Piqué’s Messy Breakup: The hosts talk about public breakups, co-parenting, and compare theirs to celebrity splits. Kalila draws parallels between her split with Bobby Lee and the public drama of Shakira/Piqué (08:22–10:32).
• Inspiring Underdog World Cup Stories: Kalila tells her favorite story about the 40-year-old Cape Verde goalkeeper who, against all odds, held Spain to a tie and saw his mom flown in for his game (13:33–14:26).
• Shorter Soccer Players and Body Types: It’s revealed you don’t need to be tall to play soccer. Even Messi is short. “There’s like some five two players who are really good because they’re center.” – Jenna (15:54)
• Women’s Soccer and Sports: The hosts praise the grit of women’s sports, particularly how women’s soccer players get up and keep playing even when injured, unlike many male players (18:13–19:46).

2. Bodily Functions & Smashing Taboos (06:01–11:09)

• Farting and Burping Norms: The trio has a refreshingly honest chat about farting vs. burping, confronting partner boundaries, and “pick me” behavior. “The only thing I’ve hidden from a man is a fart. So let’s give him that.” – Kalila (07:29)
• Double Standards: Jenna voices frustration at persistent double standards over women’s body hair and personal choices. “I’m just so sick of it. And people talking about, like, oh, the bush is back. I’m like, when did it…” (11:15)

3. Friendship Dynamics & Vulnerability (27:17–43:10, 57:17–59:18)

• Why Their Friendship Works: Kalila and Jenna dissect how closeness can mean comfortable silence and regular presence, not codependence. Kalila: “But just, you know, if you guys need anything ever… I am your girl.” (31:01)
• Female Friendship at Reunions: Esther’s reunion sparks an epiphany: many “cool girls” she idolized just saw her as a peer, flipping her entire perspective on old social anxieties. “I had this mind blowing moment… these people that the whole time viewed me as an equal… I was like, what’s wrong with me?” (35:28)
• The Value of Play: The hosts reflect how their upbringings shaped their approach to friendships and “fun” – from strict, scheduled childhoods (Kalila’s swimming career) to freewheeling, creative outlets (Jenna’s choir, theater, dance) (37:38–45:24).

4. Childhood, Parenting, and Growing Up (43:10–54:05)

• Kalila’s Rigorous Upbringing: Detailed account of her militant schedule as a young swimmer and its long-term effects: “All I wanted. My, my biggest dream in life was just to sleep and nap.” (44:01)
• How It Shapes Them Now: The trio discuss how these structured or unstructured childhoods influence their current anxieties, boundaries, and ability to enjoy life.

5. Parental Critique & Body Image (60:12–62:52)

• Mom Commentary: Both Kalila and Esther rehash triggering moments with their mothers regarding body size, referencing “almond mom” culture and baggy pants judgment. “It’s just one of their forever glitches where they cannot help themselves. My mom’s like, you know my mouth…” – Kalila (62:34)
• Generational Patterns: Jenna and Esther swap stories of permissive versus strict upbringings, and the lasting emotional impact of offhand parental comments.

6. Quickfire "Yellow/Red Card" Judgments (68:16–75:53)

• Modern Dating Red Flags: The hosts run through a hilarious series of "deal-breaker" or "let it slide" scenarios, such as a partner only communicating via Snapchat (“Red card all the way.” – Kalila at 69:36), being ultra-clean but wearing shoes inside, and attending female-dominated fitness classes (“Those are workouts for us little girls. Those are not for you and your man muscles.” – Esther at 70:23).
• Tipping Woes: Heated debate over partners who don’t tip well, leading to the iconic line: “You can never tip too much.” – Jenna (76:01)
• Personal Contradictions: Esther humorously points out that Jenna makes her sound like a misogynist or "MAGA," demonstrating how strong personalities in close friendships can push each other’s buttons (74:38–76:46).

7. Candid Reflections on Self-Image and Growth (59:18–61:14)

• Yearning for Old Selves: The hosts admit they often aspire not to transform into someone else, but to recapture the carefree or exuberant version of themselves from the past. “I'm often not aspiring to be like someone else. I'm aspiring to be like someone I feel like I used to be.” – Esther (59:18)
• Khalyla’s Anxiety and Masking: Kalila gets vulnerable about masking her panic and anxiety in social settings. Jenna recalls how, even during public panic attacks, Kalila could turn on her “social butterfly” persona—“She’s dying inside.” (54:45)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Sports Philosophy:
  “She’s a neck network exec. You want the ratings, you want all of the drama, you want it to go as long as possible.”
  – Kalila, (03:39)

• On Farting in Relationships:
  “The only thing I've hidden from a man is a fart. So let’s give him that.”
  – Kalila, (07:29)

• On Female Friendship:
  “Like, I felt that’s a very relatable feeling.”
  – Kalila, (37:36)

• On Parents’ Influence:
  “My, my biggest dream in life was just to sleep and nap. And this is truly why I think I became like a bedrotter.”
  – Kalila, (44:01)

• On Self-Image:
  “I'm often not aspiring to be like someone else. I'm aspiring to be like someone I feel like I used to be.”
  – Esther, (59:18)

• On Women’s Sports:
  “Not only are women fights just as entertaining, dare I say, some of the goriest, bloodiest I’ve ever seen.”
  – Kalila, (19:56)

• On Tipping:
  “You can never tip too much.”
  – Jenna, (76:01)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:27–02:36: Sports knowledge & family background
• 03:39–05:28: Sports as drama and entertainment
• 06:01–11:09: Female body taboos, farting, double standards
• 13:33–16:12: Underdog soccer stories, World Cup moments
• 18:13–19:46: Women’s soccer toughness
• 27:17–43:10: Friendship styles, closeness vs. codependence
• 31:01: Kalila’s friendship philosophy
• 35:28–37:36: Epiphany from reunion, social anxieties reframed
• 43:10–54:05: Upbringing, impacts on social life and adulthood
• 60:12–62:52: Parental body image criticism, “almond moms”
• 68:16–75:53: “Red/Yellow Card” relationship scenarios
• 59:18–61:14: Aspirations for former selves, anxieties, and growth

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Tone & Style

The episode swings between deadpan sarcasm, raunchy jokes, raw vulnerability, and sudden thoughtful insight. All hosts bring their unique flavor: Esther’s neurotic energy, Kalila’s world-weary self-awareness, and Jenna’s chaotic honesty. The dynamic is loving, sharp, and unfiltered—classic Trash Tuesday.

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For New Listeners

Whether you’re a fan of irreverent humor, candid talk about growing up, or just want to hear real friends process life’s messy stuff, this episode is an energetic, compassionate, and hilarious look at what it means to grow, change, and hold on to the people who truly “get” you—even if you’re still working on getting yourself.

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Transcript

[Esther]

So I went to my 20th year high school reunion and I realized also that it's Dave's 30 year. And I'm like, dave, aren't you gonna go? And then he looked at me and said, no, I'm not a loser. So I went to mine.

[Jenna]

Yeah, what episode are you on? Oh, hey. I didn't even see you there. If you're human, you stink. So give Pit Stop a shot. That this is my natural handmade deodorant by Tia Jenna. All natural and organic ingredients. Get a little bit, just enough. Or you can put it directly to your armpits. That's what Kalila likes to do for all our Trash Tuesday listeners. Our sluggies get a special discount if you use the code trash. That's T R A S H. Go to buytiajenna.com Pit Stop.

[Esther]

Oh, those look so bad on you. I know.

[Kalila]

I know a lot of my animals are getting older and I know this season was going to come eventually. Thank you.

[Esther]

At least say your Mexican prayer in the microphone.

[Kalila]

You don't know Sana. Sana kito Deana.

[Esther]

No.

[Kalila]

Oh, thank you, guys.

[Jenna]

Are you white?

[Kalila]

What? Are you from Skokie?

[Esther]

I told you, I have no white friends.

[Jenna]

Wait, did you say those sunglasses look bad on her?

[Kalila]

Yeah, they do.

[Esther]

They're horrible. They look bad on you too.

[Jenna]

You want some other ones?

[Esther]

Oh, my God.

[Kalila]

Yeah, let me try those.

[Esther]

Welcome.

[Jenna]

Those are going to be so good.

[Kalila]

Welcome to Trash Tuesday. The vibes should be high because oh, my God, is a Philippines flag. We didn't make it to the World cup, but shout out to our national team.

[Esther]

We got Finland in the house. Does Finland even have soccer?

[Kalila]

Oh, my gosh, yes.

[Jenna]

Finland in the house.

[Kalila]

I mean, neighbor Norway, they have the best guy. He is a scary looking mother.

[Jenna]

I will say that Kalila knows everything about everything and I'm so excited to have her here with us.

[Kalila]

No, I don't know anything about soccer. Just the Premier League.

[Jenna]

Yes, you do. Oh, yeah, but who cares?

[Kalila]

I know Champions League a little bit. I know some I baited up. I know a little bit of all sports, but my dad is like a

[Jenna]

big spray guy is like, she remembers everything. So you can tell her one time, like, oh, Memo Cho, the goalie of Mexico. And she's. Till the day she die. She's gonna remember it till the day I die. You know what's so crazy, Esther? It's like painful for her to listen about sports. Yesterday I was talking to her just like, not. I'm not even giving her statistics right. I'm just telling her fun, interesting new look at her news about sports. She's laying down, she goes, save it. Just save it.

[Kalila]

Save it for who? Who are we saving it for for today?

[Jenna]

She also means just save it for anyone else.

[Kalila]

Yeah, well, listen, even if you're not a sports person, you can at least agree that there are so many moments within sports that are so, like, little tiny stories that are so utterly inspiring.

[Esther]

I agree.

[Jenna]

I cry almost every game.

[Esther]

I love the final. But the thing is that my, like, culture of sports comes from a gambling addict. So for me, it's all about, like, a close game. It's all about, like, the stress of, like, the finals going to game seven. Right? Like, I've had this argument with Dave Aund times. I'm like, so you're the Celtics fan and they're in the finals. Don't you want a game seven? He's like, no, absolutely not. I want the Celtics to win as soon as possible. But you're literally, like, giving yourself less fun by that.

[Kalila]

That.

[Jenna]

So you like to be stressed and anxious. Yeah.

[Esther]

Oh, I shouldn't have given that away so quick.

[Jenna]

But listen, that's gonna happen regardless the stress and anxiety of the game.

[Kalila]

You know what she is? She's a neck network exec. You want the ratings, you want all of the drama, you want it to go as long as possible. Like, you want. You're thinking about it in a. More like, you know, in a. More like, let's make the most money out of all of this.

[Esther]

Good for the local economy.

[Jenna]

She wants to not find out if they're going to renew a season until the day before they could possibly find out.

[Esther]

So also, I this. I was just home and I saw an. A playoff ticket for the Bulls in 1991 that was unused because it was for a game that never happened. So think of the money that. That could have. My dad could have scalped that for.

[Kalila]

She's like, in the Travis Kelsey Taylor Swift camp of. Throw her in there. Like, you're. Who planted Taylor Swift into football. Like, you're the lady without set.

[Jenna]

And then you told her that, and she was like, I'm the master.

[Kalila]

You're the mastermind.

[Esther]

Oh, yeah. I don't know.

[Kalila]

I do want to talk about this, and I don't know if you're aware, but the initial. The first World cup song was a flop, right? And they were like, come on. The first one was a jelly roll.

[Jenna]

Oh, my God, you're right.

[Esther]

And it's like, so not the right.

[Kalila]

I'm sorry. Like you know, I'm sure he's a wonderful artist, but, like, this is the World Cup.

[Esther]

Doesn't he, like, hang out with, like, the comedy mansphere?

[Jenna]

All I'm saying is, if you got Chiquita and she gave us waka waka.

[Kalila]

And also she put in the years with, you know, and.

[Jenna]

And in it she names, like, all of these soccer stars, Right. Messi. And all these players, but she does not mention her baby daddy. And I love that because this was just like. I'm going to say all the greats. I'm not going to talk about you. I'm just going to say all the greats, and you're just not going to be in it.

[Kalila]

It's crazy how that ended. What I find very interesting in life in general is that you can be with a Gerard Piquet, have two babies,

[Esther]

know this man, Gerard.

[Jenna]

You said that really nicely.

[Kalila]

Gerard Piquet. Is that not his name?

[Jenna]

Yeah, but you said it like, what's his ethnicity? Beautifully. Yeah, he's espanol. Why are we such losers?

[Esther]

Let me say the Jewish way.

[Kalila]

Yeah. Harar.

[Esther]

Can you leave your burps at the door?

[Jenna]

I try. Can you leave your grease at the door?

[Esther]

They're belches.

[Jenna]

Can you leave?

[Kalila]

They are belches. They're big belches. But it brings me relief to hear them out of your body.

[Jenna]

Yeah, like, I don't fart very much. It all comes up this way.

[Kalila]

What is our night nurse say?

[Esther]

Pick me, flex. What?

[Kalila]

What does Marion, our night nurse, say?

[Esther]

What does she say?

[Kalila]

Better in and out. Better out than in.

[Jenna]

I mean, pick me, flex. As if. That's cool. Anyone's ever heard me burp and go, her. You're dumb as.

[Esther]

Yeah. You know why? You don't know why I said it.

[Jenna]

Say it.

[Esther]

Because you literally said, I just don't fart a lot.

[Jenna]

I burp a lot.

[Esther]

Yeah, but it's so much nastier to fart than it is to burp. That is a fart.

[Kalila]

She doesn't fart a lot.

[Jenna]

When I'm talking to people and it comes out and I have no control over it.

[Kalila]

Just reflux. Okay? Okay.

[Esther]

Would you not rather burp in front of a thigh or fart? You'd rather burp?

[Kalila]

I'd rather burp.

[Jenna]

Okay, but this isn't about guys. What does have to do with guys? Your leg.

[Kalila]

Do you fart?

[Esther]

What?

[Kalila]

Do you fart?

[Jenna]

Yeah, she does.

[Esther]

Do I fart? Oh, yeah.

[Jenna]

Yesterday, she.

[Esther]

You. Hell, yeah. What's wrong with farting and burping?

[Kalila]

I just didn't Know if like, if

[Esther]

like gas out of your body. Wait, do not say what you're about to say. I know what you're going to say in my head.

[Kalila]

Like the petite girls of the world, that Shakitas and the Esthers, they don't fart, do you?

[Jenna]

That's why they're so petite, because they're farting. They're getting all that air out of them.

[Esther]

What do you fart?

[Kalila]

I do. And I just very recently started farting in front of the very first partner I've ever farted in front of is Aloha.

[Esther]

What? You didn't fart in front of the Bobby Lee?

[Kalila]

I never did. I never, I never farted because he made. He farted for everyone in the house. Like there was enough fart going on that I was just like, I can't add to this gas chamber.

[Jenna]

Once you made up your mind about how you were going to be in a relationship in terms of farting, it's almost like you can't get out of it.

[Kalila]

You can't get out of it. And here's the thing, it was a gradual. We got there gradually. It was initially I was like, I'm not going to show him my new weird tits. And then it was inevitable that he was going to see me just naked, like plopped with like my pussy out of my pubes, like breastfeeding. After that I was like, it's, I think farthest. Yeah. What's left? The only thing I've hidden from a man is a fart. So let's give him that.

[Jenna]

So crazy that we did farts and we're not even going to talk love. We're not even going to talk about this double standard.

[Kalila]

But I wanted to get back to the Gerard PK of it all. The Gerard Piquet of it all is that. Look at them. It's like they had. Okay, even if we take the public part of the relationship out, let's say there were two people with two kids who've been together for so long, they're so utterly goodlook together.

[Jenna]

A Disney adult. Oh, what is going on?

[Kalila]

And then poof. We no longer speak. We hate each other. Like this is the part of life that makes it feel weird where it's like how, yeah, she made a whole song about the mother in law. It was so messy up front, you guys.

[Jenna]

At least it wasn't Ronaldinho.

[Kalila]

He had a 23 year old girlfriend. He posted her very soon after they broke up. Why do I know all of this?

[Jenna]

But you know what Shakira has not talked about him directly in. In interviews when they specifically ask her about him. Not that she needs to take the high road because he took the low road already. She just continuously says, like, I'm very grateful that he made me a mother, even though it's like, you can be a mother without him. I'm very grateful that I have kids from him.

[Esther]

And that's the father of her children. That's the thing. Like, how do you not speak? Like, you have to co parent.

[Jenna]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

And it's like, I. When it ends so badly, I'm in my head, I'm always like, guys, come on. Like, really? I couldn't come together.

[Esther]

I didn't want to hit you.

[Jenna]

What do you mean we couldn't come together?

[Esther]

I want to hit you.

[Kalila]

Like, me and Bobby.

[Esther]

Yes. You just, like, did what I feel. I don't feel it anymore.

[Jenna]

Yeah, but she doesn't talk about Bobby and then never speak to him again.

[Esther]

No, but just, like, why can't, like, the just landing at the end point of, like, come on, guys.

[Jenna]

I know your girl was like, just come on.

[Kalila]

No, there are definitely points. After our breakup, we were just like, those were our problems. Like, we're good.

[Esther]

I wonder if you know so much about them. Did. Did this happen while you and Bobby were having your breakup? Like, was it, like, helpful for you to. Was it, like, anytime I saw a

[Kalila]

relationship, like a public relationship end really badly, it made me very proud of Bobby and I. Yeah, it should. Because it's like, even though everyone had their opinions about how that ended, and we are no Shakira and pk, people

[Jenna]

had a lot of opinions about you and Bobby.

[Kalila]

Am I the Shakira of comedy?

[Esther]

I mean, whatever.

[Kalila]

No, I'm not that beloved. I can't just come out with a World cup song and without the breakup.

[Esther]

You are.

[Jenna]

I feel like you are. It's okay.

[Esther]

It's okay.

[Kalila]

But she does fart.

[Jenna]

She does fart. Everyone should fart. Yes, Esther farts.

[Esther]

It's like, oh, my gosh.

[Jenna]

Get over it. I feel livid when this is even a. Because women constantly feel. Don't me, women. You wouldn't even get a tooth gem because your husband said you couldn't.

[Esther]

Yeah, well, what am I gonna do?

[Jenna]

Fucking handmaid.

[Esther]

And of Dave, Of David. Like, you're a vester.

[Jenna]

Yeah.

[Esther]

Of Don.

[Jenna]

And you're a donut. People are even speaking about women's body hair.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Jenna]

I'm just so sick of it. And people talking about, like, oh, the bush is back. I'm like, when did it?

[Kalila]

And this makes me sad. And this makes me sad because I have no bush to grow somehow.

[Esther]

Oh, my God. I'm done with both of you. I don't fart. I don't have hair.

[Jenna]

It is sad. Yeah, it is sad.

[Kalila]

And it's not even that the bush is gone. It's like the bush has gone up top, but it's not gone on the side.

[Jenna]

It is sad.

[Kalila]

So, like, if I wear a bikini, you would look at it and be like, oh, she's got a big old bush under there, just based on the side.

[Esther]

But like, okay, Jenna, I hear what you're saying and I. I agree with you. But then I'm also like, well, I can't just go to the beach and have.

[Jenna]

Yes, you can. I do it all the time. And I will say you might feel self conscious, but that's the start of it. I've gone with R and his, like, soccer buddies to the beach and I'm like, my bathing suit is high like this because that's how I like.

[Esther]

And there's bush coming out.

[Jenna]

And there is bush. There's bush coming out all of the sides. And I do feel self conscious. I will give you that. Like, self aware that it's there. But I'm like, am I now supposed to change the shape of my pubes to go like this to match?

[Esther]

I swim in shorts.

[Kalila]

Worn shorts forever, baby.

[Esther]

Because my sh. You know, the hair comes to the side.

[Jenna]

It's like supposed to.

[Esther]

I know with certain things, it's like, we're not gonna be earth mothers about everything everywhere. We just. We want to be accepted society in the community.

[Jenna]

Okay, but we.

[Esther]

You're going to be out.

[Jenna]

We decide what is acceptable.

[Esther]

I bet those guys went home to their wives and they're like, oh, my God. One of my colleagues wives has a.

[Jenna]

But my man's still with me. And let me tell you, the girl,

[Esther]

one of them was jerking off in the porta potty cuz he saw your pews.

[Jenna]

Good. Make that sexy. It's sexy. If I have to see a man's. The fact that they even call it a happy trail. It's your fucking dick hair coming up out of your pants onto your stomach. And that's called a happy trail because it's on men. Goodbye.

[Esther]

Women have that too.

[Jenna]

Yeah. And no one wants to see it.

[Esther]

Well, I don't mind showing, like, pussy hair.

[Jenna]

Stomach hair. You don't have it.

[Esther]

Wait, sorry, we haven't.

[Jenna]

This gets me really heated.

[Kalila]

What are your favorite stories from the World Cup? I'M going to start.

[Esther]

No one's going to even go to see about my high school reunion.

[Kalila]

I will.

[Esther]

That's about the World Cup.

[Jenna]

I won't to.

[Kalila]

My favorite story is. I think everyone is very familiar with now, and it's. It's a very simple story. It's about a man. It's the Cape Verd.

[Jenna]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

Goalkeeper. Yeah. And here's a man. He's 40 years old. He's at the end of his career. He was almost replaced by a younger guy to come in there and play in the World Cup. They go against Spain. I don't know if, you know, Spain is probably a country, you know, set to win most World Cups.

[Jenna]

Cups. Oh, okay.

[Kalila]

He went crazy and basically forced a tie, which is 00, which is unheard of if you're playing a big giant like Spain. And within, I think overnight he went from like 500 followers to 13 million.

[Jenna]

And then they flew his mother in to see him play.

[Kalila]

He was like, I wish my mom was here. But, you know, visa wouldn't allow it.

[Jenna]

And then they fast tracked it because you can fast track citizenship and visas.

[Kalila]

And his mom was able to watch and be there with him, and it was just like, these are the types of stories that I watched a World cup for. Like, I don't even really care about who wins who. I like these stories.

[Esther]

What are things that we could do to get 13 million followers overnight?

[Kalila]

Dude. Okay, here we go. I'm gonna kick a ball, okay? And you're gonna see how many times you can save it.

[Esther]

Let's start with, what does saving it mean?

[Kalila]

Saving it is, you're a goalkeeper. You're not gonna let it hit the net, okay? So you're gonna use your little perfect dancer body to just block, and you're

[Jenna]

pretend your kids are behind you and you can't let the ball.

[Esther]

And because he's 40, this is like.

[Jenna]

Because it's his last one. It's his last chance.

[Esther]

And this is that 40 is so young. I hate this. I'm about to become a professional dancer at 40.

[Jenna]

Insane. I mean, Memo Choa, I think, is also 40, maybe 41. He just played. This was his six. World cup goalkeeping in Mexico. That's also, like, another story that I'm just like, they brought him out to

[Esther]

play, they wheeled him out in his wheelchair at the old disgusting age of 40.

[Jenna]

I'm just gonna say I love that the United States is finally caring about soccer.

[Esther]

Do you need to be tall to be good at soccer?

[Kalila]

No, listen, you're. You've you've stated that you think Bernie might be good at soccer.

[Esther]

I think my son is going to be a soccer player.

[Jenna]

You can be really short players.

[Kalila]

A Messi is short.

[Esther]

How tall? Yeah, I don't know if we're gonna get that.

[Kalila]

I think you're gonna get shorter.

[Jenna]

There's like some five, two players who are really good because they're center.

[Kalila]

You're just not gonna be on me. You're not gonna be a defender, and you're not likely not going to be a goalkeeper. But you can be everything else.

[Jenna]

I was a center mid, and I'm five two.

[Esther]

I don't care about anything about you. I'm done with you. We're done.

[Jenna]

You care about this pussy.

[Esther]

We can't just laugh at that. Because it is just like she said that yesterday and it made me laugh. And then I kept saying it over and over again and say what you said.

[Jenna]

I don't remember what I said.

[Esther]

You said, you don't understand how I'm a comedian because I'm the least funny person that you've ever.

[Jenna]

I mean, since I've known her, since we're 18, it's like nothing that she says is funny in real life. Like, I don't like you for your jokes.

[Esther]

I don't have.

[Jenna]

I don't like you for your millions and. But somehow on stage, I believe that she is, like one of the funniest comedians I have seen in real life. The stuff that she laughs at is unfunny. Like, I was sitting. Yes, I was sitting on the couch and I just said, like, yeah, my pussy. I can't. You can't pay me to laugh at things that are not funny. So it's like, it's hard for me.

[Esther]

Don't you think it's funny?

[Kalila]

I like it. I mean, it's like a little earworm. Like, I didn't even say that.

[Jenna]

Like, musically. It's just she was laughing about it all night, and then she'll repeat it and it, like, becomes herself stim of, like, a funny thing, except she tries to make other people laugh and no one thinks it's fun. And then she gets on stage and you're like, you good.

[Esther]

You funny.

[Jenna]

Before she ever started. Stand up. I remember I was just like, I don't know if she's going to be good. I believed in her.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Jenna]

But I was just like, probably not funny.

[Esther]

All my exes agree with me.

[Jenna]

Well, your exes are not funny.

[Kalila]

Well, let's.

[Jenna]

Sorry.

[Kalila]

Sorry. We only apologize to each other, not to her.

[Jenna]

It's because we're scared of each other. Like, we know that if any, we can.

[Esther]

Like, she claims she's scared of me. She claims.

[Kalila]

Oh, no, I'm sorry. I'm gonna need you to back me up. You. When you decide, like, it's. It's nasty time. Scary, scary little one.

[Esther]

And it's nasty, nasty.

[Kalila]

It's nasty time. Oh, my God.

[Jenna]

Women in soccer. Next year is the women's World Cup.

[Esther]

The more I think about it, it's like, wouldn't women's sports be better than men's sports because you get to look at women's bodies.

[Jenna]

Okay.

[Kalila]

And what I'm gonna say is, our little male gazy.

[Esther]

I have a son.

[Jenna]

What I will say is that watching women play soccer is wild because you know how the men have worked into soccer culture where, like, you tap their elbow.

[Esther]

Ah, they go down.

[Kalila]

And basketball too, however.

[Jenna]

Yeah, watch the women. They're not going down. They're not taking time away from playing. They're getting back up, they're being injured, and they're playing.

[Esther]

You know, I don't consider myself a misogynist until you start talking. You are so. It's like, you just make me want to be a man. You make me want to go down to the bro sphere and I want to go be with Joe Rogan and talk about fishing and, I don't know, whatever he talks about.

[Jenna]

So that's.

[Kalila]

I just want to let her keep

[Jenna]

talking, cuz it's like, what. What comes after this and do what and say what?

[Esther]

No, I don't want to give you the satisfaction.

[Jenna]

No, no, carry on. It makes you want to.

[Esther]

No, no, I take it back. I'm sorry. I'm a girl.

[Kalila]

I think you're right about women's sports in that, like, the biggest testament to this is like, of all the testosterone, bro esports, like the UFC is a perfect example of how they just one season, they're like, you know, we're gonna do the Ultimate Fighter show, but we're gonna do women. Not only are women fights just as entertaining, dare I say, some of the goriest, bloodiest that I've ever seen.

[Jenna]

You dare say it.

[Kalila]

And I'm like, in.

[Jenna]

Oh, don't roll your eyes.

[Esther]

Well, it's like, I'm not a. That's scary.

[Kalila]

It is scary. It is, like, fully scary. But I, I, me kind of, I. There's a part of it I love where it's like, men are now like, oh, that's like, that's a fight.

[Jenna]

Oh, women can around yeah, exactly.

[Guest]

I think basketball also is getting more respect. Women's basketball.

[Esther]

Yeah, yeah.

[Kalila]

Basketball is really.

[Esther]

Because there's, like, female stars now, right?

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

And I. I live for their bus to walk in outfits.

[Esther]

Wait, why? What do they wear?

[Kalila]

Oh, my God. Just like a fashion show now, because

[Jenna]

men are too scared to show fashion.

[Kalila]

They look stunning.

[Jenna]

Absolutely stunning.

[Esther]

Of course, none of it would look good on me because I'm not tall

[Kalila]

and athletic, but the camera wouldn't even. It wouldn't be, sure, we think she's entered the building.

[Esther]

We can't find her.

[Jenna]

Or they would just show Esther. And it's everyone's shins and kneecaps.

[Esther]

By the way, you were the same fucking height.

[Jenna]

Yeah, but I'm not talking about being there. Wasn't. I wasn't nobody talking about being there.

[Kalila]

I'm ready for the hard pivot into what I think is a very important topic. Like your world cup, your high school reunion.

[Jenna]

I didn't want to talk about. I'm going to sleep. Then wake me up. Pick me up when she's done.

[Esther]

I don't want to talk about it anymore.

[Kalila]

Let's eat a banana for this episode is sponsored by Better help. You guys. It's a summertime and I know that some of you are like, great, fun summer. We get a break from school, but that's not always the case. Summer can be your favorite season, but can also be extremely overwhelming, especially if you have kids and you're, like, counting down the days to your kids are back in school. All of these things can really take a toll on your mental health if you don't address it. And that's where better help comes in. Therapy has been an indispensable part of my life. I do not go without it is the reason that I have the life I have today. Therapy can help people better understand their needs, feel more confident setting boundaries, and create a version of summer that actually feels good. BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform, having served over 6 million people globally. And it works. And what I love about better help is if you're not satisfied with your therapist, you can switch at any time at no additional cost.

[Jenna]

Cost.

[Kalila]

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[Esther]

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[Kalila]

people assume should just come naturally, it's sex. But honestly, like anything else, it's something you can learn and get better at. That's. That's what I think is so cool about Beducated. It's basically the sex ed we all wish we'd gotten with expert LED courses that cover everything from communication, intimacy techniques, pleasure, massage, and even more adventurous topics. Every time I hop on Beducated, I end up learning something I didn't know before. One thing that really surprised me was just how much better intimacy can be when you focus on communication and slowing things down. Instead of thinking it's all about performance. There are practical video lessons, exercises you can do alone or with a partner. And the whole platform is really inclusive and welcoming. No matter your relationship status, orientation or experience level. Whether you're looking to just spice things up, build confidence, or just understand your body or your partner a little bit better, there's honestly something for everyone. Beducated has an awesome quiz that will recommend a personalized roadmap to sexual happiness just for you right now. Click the link in the show notes and go to beducated.com to kick off your personal pleasure journey.

[Guest]

In honor of the World cup, we're doing a hydration break. We got some banana water.

[Esther]

What?

[Kalila]

Oh, this is really scary.

[Esther]

Oh my God, it smells so strong. Wait, can I see that?

[Guest]

I know you don't like banana flavored.

[Jenna]

It literally smells like dried banana.

[Esther]

Oh my God, it's so gross. It's so gross. It's so gross. Oh my God.

[Kalila]

It's really not great.

[Guest]

No way.

[Esther]

You need to see the can.

[Kalila]

Guys, guys, banana juice is not good.

[Esther]

It's not banana juice, it's banana water.

[Kalila]

No, guys, we shouldn't be milking bananas this way day.

[Esther]

It's literally just banana.

[Kalila]

I don't like it.

[Guest]

Well, we were hoping to give them a shout out, but we'll just edit around,

[Esther]

okay? We will not. This is a non sponsored hydration break.

[Jenna]

It really does taste like dried like old bananas though.

[Esther]

The smell literally makes me gag, like I could puke.

[Jenna]

Well, I'm not gonna eat my banana since I've learned that every time I eat the banana someone says something interesting and then I have to pop off with Bananas in my mouth.

[Kalila]

So why just let them be.

[Esther]

Let them eat it.

[Jenna]

It. Eat it.

[Kalila]

Eat it.

[Jenna]

The way you said that. Can we.

[Kalila]

No.

[Jenna]

Zoom into her eyes when she just said that.

[Kalila]

Evil chills.

[Jenna]

She said, eat it. I'll do it to you. Eat it.

[Kalila]

Oh, psycho.

[Jenna]

That's what she did.

[Kalila]

Psychopath.

[Jenna]

Psycho.

[Kalila]

Psychopath.

[Esther]

You know, there's no one that I feel genuinely loves me, but also like. Like, maybe you do fear me. I feel so much love for you.

[Jenna]

No one loves you.

[Esther]

No, like, Kalila loves me, but she's like, knows me too much. Like, I. I don't know. I can't figure out what it is between us.

[Kalila]

I think I. I love you for exactly who you are.

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

And. And here's the thing. Who you are in my book is. Is not. It's. It's just.

[Jenna]

She didn't say it's good.

[Kalila]

I really think you are so peculiar. I put you in the Bobby category of, like, I can't crack who you are necessarily. I am so utterly, endlessly entertained by who you are. I know that on a fundamental level you are a good friend, but we in. In terms of like everything else we are couldn't be. We're on opposite ends of everything.

[Esther]

It. I have always had this thought that, like, the perfect friend for me is someone that has dated a stand up comedian for 10 years. Because it's like you've been through it.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Esther]

Like you. I can't. There's nothing I can throw at you to surprise you.

[Kalila]

Nothing.

[Esther]

You are fully trained.

[Kalila]

Yeah, I'm trained and armored. Nothing. I can't think of a single thing you can do that would shock me.

[Esther]

Yeah. Amen. Amen, sister. Well, okay. I will talk about my reunion because it's sort of. There's like a female friendship discovery.

[Jenna]

You didn't already talk about it?

[Esther]

Trust me, I don't even want to talk about it today because we've already turned the audience against me by being

[Jenna]

about your friendship with me and how I view you.

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Jenna]

Everything that.

[Kalila]

But you guys are more enmeshed in many ways. Like, I'm a hard.

[Jenna]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

In many ways. Like a harder nut to crack because I do offer closeness, but I still am very guarded, which I.

[Esther]

Which I actually know.

[Jenna]

Yourself. And I love that, though. And you.

[Kalila]

Yeah. But just, you know, if you guys need anything ever. And it's like I feel like I'm close to you. You are close to me.

[Jenna]

And I know that, like, we had times where we were more in each other's lives, like, technically.

[Esther]

And I would Say that we're not. We don't have an enmeshment.

[Jenna]

You guys, are you literally dumb as.

[Esther]

We don't.

[Jenna]

No.

[Kalila]

You guys are like scissoring everywhere.

[Esther]

No, no, wait, Esther, what do you

[Kalila]

view you're attached at the pussy.

[Esther]

Wait, wait.

[Jenna]

Esther, please. Please describe our friendship because I would say that I'm your closest friend.

[Esther]

You are, but enmeshed to me is like unhealthy.

[Kalila]

Like. Oh, yeah. No, no, no. I don't mean it in a negative way.

[Esther]

I told you. Where are you?

[Jenna]

No, that's codependent. She talking about, like a life where

[Kalila]

you're like, you're right and measurement could be bad.

[Esther]

And measurement.

[Kalila]

That's what I meant. I meant, like you're really intertwined. Like you're very connected and that your life is like.

[Jenna]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

Every day there's a conversation between you guys. There's, you know, unannounced visits. Like that to me is like, really sweet. I meant it in a very sweet way.

[Esther]

Okay.

[Jenna]

I thought you did too.

[Esther]

What I'm projecting is that I have learned that that kind of a measurement that I'm thinking of is like, bad.

[Jenna]

That's not friendship. Like, what. What she's talking about. She's talking about, like a friendship that's really involved in your life, like every day.

[Kalila]

Like you're in each other's like, living room. Like, not speaking to each other, doing your own thing like that to me is like true friendship and closeness is when you don't feel like you ever have to host Jenna. She can just pop up and she can exist in your home.

[Jenna]

Well, I feel like no one has a choice. That's kind of just how I am.

[Kalila]

But I think that's beautiful.

[Jenna]

Have a choice with me. Cuz I don't have the energy like I did before to be like, like,

[Kalila]

so how are you? That's my favorite kind of friendship. It's like we're. We're in so deep that you can come over for whatever reason. Like, you come over to my house and you are in your wing. And I'm like, I'm gonna leave by.

[Jenna]

I love a wing. Yeah, Trump doesn't.

[Kalila]

And what. And I think that's really sweet, you guys. And. But listen, as guarded as I am, as sometimes I place like a very healthy distance with people. If you ever need me, I don't care what it's. What it's for, like, I am your girl. I will always find a solution.

[Esther]

I need you to sleep over tonight.

[Kalila]

For who? For you or for. If it's for your babies. Yes, if it's just a cuddle, you know?

[Jenna]

Yeah, Kalila. Is that in that I will be

[Kalila]

your wet nurse if you're like, hey, my shit's dried up. Wait, tits will be there.

[Jenna]

Come to me.

[Esther]

Yeah. Do you really want breast milk?

[Jenna]

Always.

[Kalila]

What? I believe hers is more nutritious than mine right now. Mine's basically like powder I've pissed away from me.

[Jenna]

I've had five of my friends.

[Esther]

You would seriously drink our breast milk?

[Jenna]

I just. Did you not hear what I just said?

[Esther]

I just can't.

[Jenna]

So how can you ask that question?

[Esther]

It's so nasty to me.

[Kalila]

Listen, I need to hear about this high school reunion, okay?

[Jenna]

Oh, yeah, tell me.

[Esther]

So I went to my 20th year high school reunion.

[Jenna]

Can you speak up?

[Esther]

And I realized also that it's Dave's 30 year. And I'm like, dave, aren't you gonna go? And then he looked at me and said, no, I'm not a loser. So I went to mine. Which by the way, you have him so much as you brought up, you were senior class president. You're. We're the same age. We graduated the same year. You have a 20 year reunion this year. Do you know anything about it?

[Jenna]

I do get emails about the people who are putting it together and they're really doing such a great job that I am not doing.

[Kalila]

Also, by the way, if you're high class president does not mean that you have that title into adulthood.

[Esther]

You die.

[Kalila]

Like, that's crazy.

[Jenna]

Is that. I guess it's one of the things you signed on to. But you know what I did? I made it more affordable for people to go to prom. We fundraised. I got everyone hoodies and T shirts with whatever name they wanted in the back. Like, I did my job there when it was important.

[Esther]

Peaked in high school. Why aren't you political now? You should be a senator.

[Jenna]

Seriously. I don't have the energy.

[Kalila]

Yeah, politicians never die, baby. They aid. They stay till 102. Cockroaches.

[Jenna]

I. I never peaked yet.

[Kalila]

I never peaked.

[Jenna]

I didn't peek yet. And I don't know that I'll ever peak, but what I was gonna say

[Esther]

that banana in your mouth. I'll peek.

[Jenna]

It's so crazy that you can say that, but I can't say I was having sex.

[Esther]

I'm opening up to it.

[Guest]

It.

[Esther]

But you don't just say I was having the sex. You're like, I was grinding on.

[Jenna]

Why did your face do that?

[Esther]

It's like, no, can I talk about my Reunion. Which by the way, I went to my reunion. Two people from your kindergarten.

[Kalila]

Oh, whoa. Really?

[Jenna]

I'll say about my high school reunion. It's not that I don't want to see everyone there and see how they're doing. That would be cool and I would love that. I don't want anyone to ask me how I'm doing and see how I'm doing. I would just prefer not. And everyone. Like I'm in a group chat with eight of my best friends from high school who talk every single day. Those are. I already know what.

[Esther]

I get it. I've heard this. Look, everybody, I.

[Jenna]

Everyone has everything you go there for.

[Esther]

I went.

[Jenna]

Honestly, I'll tell you.

[Esther]

I went for memories. I went to relive youth. But what I got was even better. Okay, first of all, I want to start by saying think about it was only 50 people out of a class of like over 500. So it's a very. And it's a self selective group of like people who can handle it.

[Kalila]

Wait, you had a graduating class of 500 and. Oh, this is only. The invitation was only to 50 people.

[Esther]

No, that's only who showed up.

[Kalila]

Oh, interesting.

[Jenna]

Like you. I'm saying go if you want to.

[Esther]

If you think about it like, the group of people that show up are going to be like emotionally regulated, like decent place in their life because it's like people who are kind of crazy aren't gonna go.

[Kalila]

Really?

[Jenna]

You went?

[Esther]

I know I'm different. I'm not like the others. My favorite thing is that one guy that from my high school who I haven't seen since high school. He literally said he told his girlfriend on the way there, his only goal of the night was to not give Esther content. He's like, well, you failed.

[Jenna]

Where's the. Do you have content from it?

[Esther]

This is the content.

[Jenna]

Oh, okay, Sorry.

[Esther]

Keep going.

[Jenna]

I thought there was.

[Esther]

You know what? No, I don't want to talk about it. No, I don't want to talk.

[Kalila]

I'm ready. I'm ready.

[Esther]

I think the, the thing that is most relevant that I think you will find interesting. Two of the girls show who showed up were kind of like from the cool click. And I was friends with them, whatever in middle school. And at the end of the night, I said to one of these girls, I was like, did you know that like I really looked up to you guys and like thought you were so cool and like couldn't even believe you were hanging out with me. And she looked at me and was like, what? She's like, that's really weird. She's like, esther, we were all friends and I just sort of had this like mind blowing moment of like looking back at all the times I was like, leaving their house, excited or like on my way there, like, can't believe they called me. And I'm just like, like, what's wrong with me? Like, these people that the whole time viewed me as an equal to them and as their friend, like, I was like, I can't believe it's like pathetic.

[Jenna]

But I think a lot of high schoolers and teenagers do that. They want to be liked, they want to be invited. And so they feel like, wow, I'm so lucky to have gotten the. The only thing that I want to happen.

[Esther]

Well, I just feel now I'm like, does that translate to my adult relationships? And is that why you keep me at a distance and why I like. And circled back and why I like being at a distance from a distance,

[Jenna]

like, oh, because you. And this circles back to the beginning because you like that excitement of will she choose me? Will she not?

[Esther]

And you though, don't apply to this because I don't look up to you and yeah, you're.

[Jenna]

Yeah, yeah. No, I'm different.

[Kalila]

No, I think that it's probably just a case of high school, young, angsty, who am I, who loves me, who doesn't like me emotions. I don't think it necessarily has to circle back into like a theme of adulthood because I have. I know you to be a very boundaried person. And when you think someone is a loser and you're like, no, I do not want to be associated with that person, even if they are famous and shiny. I do know that about you. So, like, I think that you have changed a lot since that insecure. But it's like that's. That's so normal to be a high schooler and be like me. You've invited me to your home. Like, I felt that's a very relatable feeling.

[Esther]

Do you. Did you feel that?

[Kalila]

Oh, my God, yes. When I first came to, when I was first in the States, I was very lost. It was very much a culture shock. And I didn't know where I belong, who, how I could belong. The Filipinos in my school were like, she has a very thick accents. Her consonants are all.

[Jenna]

Took you in.

[Kalila]

That Mexicans took me in. But there was this one girl, this one gorgeous girl. I knew that if she would be my friend, that no one would with me anymore. Her name was Topacio and she had. She was a Boxer. And her hair was half blonde and half black and she was just ripped and athletic and hot.

[Esther]

A boxer in high school?

[Kalila]

Yeah, she was just a freaking cool girl, but she also kind of rolled solo. She was one of those girls that just walked around with so much confidence and like, and, and her. And I like, I remember it was like my sister had already graduated. So I was alone. And I felt so utterly alone. I had a bad reputation in high school for sucking dick, apparently. And I was like, well, whose dick have I? I suck Gary Gonzalez dick. And it turned into I sucked everyone's dick. I was so ridiculous, ridiculed and like bullied and.

[Jenna]

But if a dude has.

[Kalila]

Yeah, we get it.

[Esther]

We get it. If a guy does it. No, no.

[Jenna]

Do we get it? I don't think so.

[Kalila]

But I was very like scared and like my mental started to spiral. I remember a distinct moment where we were both ditching class and she ditched and I ditched. We both had a salad together and we just clicked. And from that moment on, not only could I not believe that this freaking cool ass girl Tapasio was like, now my friend, she probably didn't know that I was like in awe of her. And even to this day, like we've kept in touch here and there, like over the years, you know, even to this day, I'll always view her as like, oh my God, you were just like just eternally cool.

[Esther]

That's actually how I used to feel about you.

[Jenna]

Honestly, I, I, I'm just being genuine. I never had that in high school. I don't know if it's my neurod divergence or what. I didn't ever feel like I wanted people to like me.

[Esther]

I do feel that you are that person, you are that Tapasio for others. Like, because I feel like even in college, like I told you, like when I would see you on the quad, I'd be like, who is this freak? Like I, I want it.

[Jenna]

Oh yeah.

[Esther]

Like I thought you were so cool. But then I did get to know you and was like, she ain't no.

[Jenna]

That's the thing. It's like people. And I'm not trying to like be cool or be like, oh, I was the, I was just so busy doing me.

[Esther]

And yeah, that's so key.

[Jenna]

Rollerblade. Which is why I didn't date for so long.

[Esther]

Busy doing me is like the secret to life.

[Kalila]

Cuz the angst that comes along with like the just the insecurity of it all of just growing up from a tween to High school, Let me tell

[Esther]

you, you, I will never forget. So this is maybe, like, 20 years ago. I was in the car with my dad, and I'm like, damn, my dad is so old. I'm like, what is like, the best time of your life? And I. In my head, I'm, like, preparing for. He's going to say, like, high school, you know? And I remember he shocked me. He's like, elementary school. And I'm like, what about high school? That's, like, where it's at.

[Jenna]

He's like, no, because your dad still remembers.

[Esther]

I know. He's like, no, because once you get to high school, it's about girls and relationships and all this stuff. But when you're just a kid, it's all just about friendship and playing. It's like, that's the best. And I almost feel like I had, like, an experience of that at the reunion where no one, none of my close friends from high school were there, because I didn't really have close friends in high school. All those meaningful relationships and connections were elementary school, middle school. Because for me, once I started high school, it's almost like a mirror of my twenties where I just focused on, like, theater and dance and, like, all the extracurriculars. And I. I was like, well, the fun will come from those relationships. And I never just, like, had fun with friends, like, throwing water balloons and, like, I don't know, just doing, like, fun kid stuff.

[Jenna]

Dude, that's what it is. I was playing for a long.

[Esther]

You, I feel like, had that longer.

[Jenna]

For a really long time.

[Esther]

I played.

[Kalila]

I played a long time, too. Like, physical. Physical, but, like, only on Sundays, because

[Jenna]

I was, you know, up until college, I was still, like, going to choir and dance and playing with my friends. Like, the fact that I couldn't think about dating wasn't that I didn't think it was cool. It's that I didn't think about it because I was like, I'm going to choir, and I'm hanging out with my friends who I literally love, and we're having fun and we're playing all the time. I don't have time to do whatever this other thing is.

[Esther]

But see, I'm almost arguing an opposite of you for me, which is that, like, when I did choir and theater, I was like, so in those worlds. I was like, it's all about getting a part in the play, and it's all about, like, learning the lines.

[Jenna]

But it's because you had a gap in between those years. Mine continued from the time I was A child.

[Guest]

Right.

[Jenna]

Once I experienced the gap, everything changed. And I will say I think a big part of it had to do with like dating.

[Esther]

Yeah, it's dating.

[Jenna]

Suddenly having someone who you do want to like you not choose you. Like, up until then I was like, I don't really care who likes me, who doesn't. And then you have these experiences that for me happened really, really late where I was like suddenly did that I had never looked at myself before, which was problematic as well because I was just so obnoxious and so disruptive and I didn't realize it.

[Esther]

What's coming up for you? Because I realized I like you. Was this all robbed from you because you like moved from, came from a different country, you were molested, like, what's up?

[Jenna]

But you had play when you were younger.

[Kalila]

Yes, I had, I had a lot of play on Sundays. Anything in between was like structured with the Lord. That's. That's the thing about like dance that you guys explain, which is like, it does become your whole world because you're not given the option of other worlds. Like I was not given the option at. By the time I was 8 years old, I woke up at 4:30 in the morning, was in the water by 5 o', clock, swam until 7, went to elementary school after that, land training and then swim until 7:30, did homework, started all again, two days. By the time I was 8, I was also in the Philippine team. By the time I was 10, I was in the national team by the time I was 10. So everything was just so, so like rigorous and structured. And I had, I remember specifically thinking, I cannot wait until I'm 18, have autonomy because I just wanted to nap. All I wanted. My, my biggest dream in life was just to sleep and nap. And this is truly why I think I became like a bedrotter. Because I'm like, I never, I don't. This feeling I can savor.

[Jenna]

This is huge. And really, really speaks to how you were backwards in a way that like I was backwards. Backwards. Like you had to be an adult early on, had to care about if people liked you early on because you were going to a new place and you were like in a militant sports.

[Kalila]

Militant militant sports world. I think that, that, that's what it is. But I think that what happens when you are. This is no shade to any athletes out there. This is just my own personal experience. When you are this deep into sports, you actually are delayed socially. You're delayed in. Because you become, you are so used to development.

[Jenna]

Right?

[Kalila]

Yeah, it' Arrested development. Because you are so used to someone telling you what to do, you don't make decisions for yourself ever. Like, I didn't make a decision for myself. And I'm kind of similar to you, where I actually had to catch up and learn how to be an adult in many ways, because everything was done for me because my only. The only expectation was that I swam fast and that I walked a very straight line. Everything else was like, I didn't. I didn't even do chores.

[Esther]

Well, how did this even happen? Like, why was it swimming? Why. Why did your. Did your mom choose that? Did you like it? Did you show that you were good in it? Was it your sister, too? Like, how did this even happened to you?

[Kalila]

My mom came from a very, very impoverished family with no access to sports but a stacked yolk body. And she. Her whole thing was. Her whole thing was, I wish I had the means to become an athlete. Like, I never did. I'm now a mom, but my kids will. And then my dad introduced swimming very early because my dad was a diver and an ocean person. And we just got good and got good fast. And she was like, this is what I'm going do to of, like, just keyed in on it and never let go.

[Esther]

Did you ever like it?

[Kalila]

No.

[Esther]

Really?

[Kalila]

I. I love it now because it allows me to do. It gives. It's given me the skill to dive and do other things. But when I was in there, all I felt was terror and the. The heavy breath of expectation from my parents and everyone else around me and the fatigue of at all. There was moments where I had time with friends, like, during. Like, we would travel to, like, a different island and do this thing. Either it's like, I like the boy. I remember those memories. But being in the water every single day. No, I love it now because I've. In therapy, I've learned to reframe my relationship with the water. It's why I don't like swimming pools. You've never seen me in a swimming pool because of this. I do not like chlorine. I do not like the memories of being in there. There. Looking at that black line.

[Esther]

Is there any, like, era or time of your life that you can relate to at all where it was, like,

[Kalila]

just about fun and joy as a kid?

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

No, no.

[Jenna]

When did you start swimming?

[Kalila]

Six. My first competition was at six.

[Esther]

At six, you were in a competition?

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Esther]

That's like literally JonBenet Ramsay.

[Jenna]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

Competition. I was six. And it never. It never stopped from there. I. I should say that, like I said, I kept saying, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday was my only freedom day. And I would go ham. Like, I run around the neighborhood. Like, just do as much as I could as a kid. The other day I told Aloha. I don't remember a time where I felt like. And I've talked about this in therapy. Like, I never felt genuinely, like, safe. Not in my sleep, not in. Around my parents, not. It was just so rigorous all the time. It was just so exhausting.

[Esther]

Like, you were always, always, like, gotta go do something.

[Kalila]

Always, always, always. I was also, like, the top of my class. Right. I was class president all throughout elementary. I was the top of my class. I was just this, like, golden child. And I felt horrible on the inside.

[Jenna]

And also this, like, pressure to perform that was so linked to, like, your worth.

[Kalila]

Yeah. And so. But. But now I. I'm obviously, now that I have a son, everything is about free play. Like, everyone I know is like, Montessori independent play structure. I'm just like, kid, you go be a kid. Like, you want to scream. You want to go have fun. You want to be silly, be silly.

[Guest]

Do you guys think that, like, hearing this from all you guys, do you think that maybe, like, the extracurricular activity and filling your whole adolescence with that maybe isn't, like, the best?

[Esther]

Oh, no, I think.

[Kalila]

I think. Think that I see it now when it's like, I see especially with, like, baseball, where it's like, let the kid breathe. I. I obviously can never tell that to a parent because it's like, wait.

[Esther]

Oh, you're saying you don't think extracurricular?

[Kalila]

I think it's. Their people have gone overboard.

[Guest]

Well, it seems like you guys have all, like, missed out on a chunk of just being a kid because you're not me.

[Esther]

I feel both, because at the same time, those activities kept me out of trouble. Those activities, like, gave me creative outlets, like, oh, yeah. Helped me find work that, like, I love. Like, I definitely am not against those things, but I do think that you

[Jenna]

can get out of control with it.

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Jenna]

Especially when it's like, the kid shows interest in one thing, and then they're like, well, that's your whole life now. My extracurriculars were fortunately or unfortunately, like, not very focused. And I think that I feel like I'm really good at a lot of things, but not great at anything. It was like, whatever she shows interest in, she can just do that. There was the only rule around anything was that if I started a class, I had to finish it. But if I decided after a couple of weeks, I really don't like this ballet class. My mom was like, fine, you're done. When I decided I didn't like acting, she was like, that's fine. Go around to all of your agents. Let them know you're taking a break. And I took a break starting at, like, 14, until I moved here, because I was like, I'd rather hang out with my friends. And she was like, do it. That's totally fine.

[Esther]

I do feel like that's a difference between you and I. It's like I was like, at my dance studio, 20 out, 15 hours a week, whatever.

[Jenna]

It was like it was your life and your identity.

[Kalila]

I think both are cool. I think both are cool. Depending. I think that as long as you don't verge on, like, robbing a kid off of their, like, teenage experience, like their childhood, I think it's fine.

[Esther]

I think it all comes down to balance, too, right? Like, clearly, Kila's version is, like, the unbalanced. Like, she had to work too hard. I definitely remember all the friends hanging out. And it's like, my mom's coming to get me because I have to go to dance class. Like, this sucks. But it's like, I also do think that's good because I, like, had to leave. I don't know. There's. It's like, I don't know.

[Jenna]

I leave to focus on something that you were putting effort toward for me. Like, I learned discipline at choir. Like, I didn't learn discipline in other places. Like, there was a lot of trust in my home and a lot of freedom.

[Esther]

I don't think you've learned discipline needing to be spanked in high school. Meaty legs in high spanking.

[Jenna]

I was just in. In school suspension a lot, but it was. I didn't ever. I didn't get home and go.

[Esther]

Like, I never got into.

[Jenna]

Tell my mom that I got in school again.

[Guest]

I haven't heard of that.

[Jenna]

Iss like, if I wanted to skip school, I would call my mom and tell her, like, hey, okay, this is boring. I'm gonna leave school today. Just so you know, in case they call, like, ever. There was a lot of open honesty.

[Kalila]

So meanwhile, I was, like, plucking my braces out of my lips because my mom just punched me in the face.

[Esther]

Wait. Oh, no.

[Jenna]

Yeah, but look at you. You're soaring. And look at me. I'm sitting here.

[Kalila]

Yeah, but you know what? That's. That's. That's all a facade. M. Lady. I think that I have white knuckled my way to a pretty nice life. But I do think I would have gotten here in a much easier way had it not been for all my emotional setbacks as an adult.

[Esther]

I wonder.

[Kalila]

Yeah, I do wonder that, because I

[Jenna]

think it's like, just be bed rotting somewhere.

[Kalila]

Maybe I'd be just less sweaty, less, like, distant from Ester. Like, less, you know, more wavy to my neighbor. Like, there's certain things that I know that I, as an adult, like, I don't cope well still with some situations where I can feel it in my body. Like, my heart races, I feel like vomiting, and I'm like, what is an

[Esther]

example of a situation that causes that

[Kalila]

one person texting me? And it's like, I know that's a tough conversation I need to have, and already my whole body is lit up. I'm like, why do. And that's when I'm like, okay, this. I wish I didn't feel.

[Esther]

That sounds kind of normal to me, though. Like, if a tough conversation pops up, it's like, yeah, I'm not going to feel good.

[Kalila]

Yeah. How quickly are you, like, from a bad situation? How quickly are. Do you release it from your body? Like, okay, if. If you and I, like, fight? How many hours, days, till you're like, you know what? That was a fight. Like, four days. Are you sleeping well that night?

[Esther]

That's really hard to answer because it so depends on, like, a million factors. Factors.

[Jenna]

But I think what you're saying is that it doesn't necessarily depend on the factors. Any situation like that, you're still gonna feel it in your nervous system.

[Kalila]

Much better now, though, because I've done EMDR and all these things, but, yeah, I'm very, like, dysregulated. And it. It's. That's something. It's a facade because when people, like, meet me, they're like, you're so calm and, like, you know, you have this, like, energy about you. And I'm like, it's a lie. I have learned to mask a lot of how I'm truly feeling, which is.

[Esther]

I've learned that about you. Yeah. Like, you really, really come off so cool as a cucumber.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Esther]

And then it's like, to learn that you're not feeling that is really surprising.

[Kalila]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Esther]

Because your exterior is so pleasant and peaceful and soothing.

[Kalila]

Yeah. And that's not how I feel. I don't feel soothed.

[Jenna]

I remember that, like, when. When we first began our friendship. And, like, I would go everywhere with Kalila because she was having a panic attack every. Every Day, every day. Day. And hard episodes. We get into a place, and she's boom, boom, bam. Speak. Thinking clearly. And it's like, I can't even think. And she's. And people are just like, oh, my God. Kalila is just the social butterfly. And I'm like, she's. Everything's sweating. She's dying inside.

[Kalila]

For as much as I've gone through in my life, I think that it's okay that I wear a couple masks here and there, and it's okay that I don't show you who I really am. Because. Because at some point, I needed to practice self preservation, and you look like a threat to me. So how about I just take a little bit of time before I unmask? So it's like, yeah, you people have these different faces. Or you're like, I hate to use the term shape shifter. It's like, yeah, it's called survival. And thank God you didn't have to perform survival. And if you don't think that I am being authentic, like, it's because I probably am not in that moment in front of you, because I don't feel safe yet. But we'll get there.

[Jenna]

And it's still part of your authentic self to protect yourself.

[Kalila]

But we'll get there eventually, and you will get to know me over time. It's just I'm not going to present in a way that.

[Jenna]

Or they won't, and it doesn't matter. Like, you guys know me. I used to present every part of myself to everyone I met with.

[Esther]

Why are you doing it? Like, you open your leg within one second.

[Jenna]

Because I wanted to make sure you're. You feel a part of this conversation, too. You. Thank you.

[Esther]

Wait. I just had this vision about you.

[Jenna]

Me on the quad and my rollerblades.

[Esther]

No, like, you're like a. And I'm not trying to. I swear I'm not mean. This is an insult. I really am not. Maybe not as much now, but you're in your years like a toddler, where you just, like, let them in the room and you're. They're just gonna, like, do it. You're gonna grab stuff, like, Right. Don't you feel that about her?

[Kalila]

Yeah, but I think that's what I love about Jenna.

[Jenna]

She is.

[Kalila]

Is like, the embodiment of how I feel I could have existed in the world or allowed to exist in the world as, like, a child. So, like, I. I feel endeared to her in many ways because it makes me happy to see her, to see someone operate in a Way I could never operate because I just wasn't free. And like there is like a both an envy and an awe when I see her just dance around and the ask Jenna when she's being sent silly. You will never not see me be a pageant mom. My phone is out and I'm always recording her and I look through them and I'm laughing and enjoying because she re watches them. I re watch them and I send them because I'm like, she exists in a way that I feel I could exist, but I know that it's just not like my body's too like locked in. And even you when I see you, like, I remember there's like this video over the pandemic of you at Whitney's house dancing to Natasha Bedingfield song. And this is why you guys are my favorite people. Because it is so absurdly far away from who I am. And I'm like, I am so entertained by the both of you. I will. That's why like my camera roll in like 2016 to like the next five years was just Jenna dancing on different things because it just brought me so much joy and relief to know that someone could experience that kind of freedom. That camera in their body.

[Esther]

May I never see see that camera.

[Jenna]

You see it in real life every day. But I will say thank you and thank you cuz definitely not everyone's cup of tea, you know.

[Esther]

Okay, to wrap this up, one thing, that really last thing is that when I first came to your house and I saw that your. I know I've said this on here before. I'm sure your room had all your friends writing and signing all over it. Like she just had a wall in her room that everyone was every single

[Jenna]

wall, including at one point the rug.

[Kalila]

That's what I'm saying. It's like she still lives like a

[Esther]

young little girl, but like literally in my house, if I touch the wall, I was not allowed to touch walls cuz you would leave a fingerprint.

[Jenna]

I don't know.

[Esther]

I literally had someone be like, did you touch the wall? Hey, who touched the wall?

[Jenna]

I fear that I'm going to be like how your mom is like, yeah.

[Esther]

And I fear I'm going to be how your mom is.

[Jenna]

Good you are. You're so, so like, you're so trusting of your kids and they can sense it and you let them explore. And I'll tell you, I see sometimes like Ace getting marker on the couch or something and I. And I go, oh my God, we got, we got to get that off and it's like my mom would have been like, it's okay, let's clean it off. And as long as everyone's writing on my walls was contained to my room, which it was fine. That was my space and I could wear what I want, want, be who I wanted, have the room however I wanted. But I feel like because of my health in the last five years, like I look at that person on my camera rolls and stuff, like out at places, just like not realizing that anyone else is even around. And I'm like, who is that person?

[Esther]

I think that, that everyone can relate to that. I'm sorry, but I really do. I think that everyone can relate to. To seeing an older past version of yourself and being like, what the happened? I'm often not aspiring to be like someone else. I'm aspiring to be like someone I feel like I used to be.

[Jenna]

Same working on that.

[Esther]

That's like inherently kind of sad because you're like, I had it. I was that. Where. Why am I, you know? Do you ever have that? No way.

[Kalila]

Not anymore.

[Esther]

No, because.

[Kalila]

No, because I really did. I really was a disaster.

[Jenna]

You and you have your future to aspire to. And loving the person you are right now. I think it's a really tricky one when you want to be who you were before. Cuz the whole joy and point of life is that you get to live, you get to change, you get to grow. And I have this like obsession with. No, I had it good. I was great. I was already good. So I want to be that again.

[Kalila]

I know your mom doesn't want to be called an almond mom anymore, but my mom had a slip up. My mom had a slip up. You know, she's been on Lexipro for a while, so she's been just a angel, but she had to slip up into. Back into her almond mom ways. And I had bought a pair of sweatpants from TikTok. TikTok. And I like them really, really baggy because I like to wear them like at the widest part of my hip. Took it out. She was like, who's this?

[Esther]

This?

[Kalila]

I was like, those are my sweatpants, Mom. They're not yours. They have to be alohas. They have to be alohas. And I was like, ma, I know I've gone a little bit bigger. And she kept laughing and laughing and then parading them around, comparing it to how big they are compared to her little waist.

[Jenna]

No.

[Kalila]

And then I snapped, you guys. And I was just like, I already said I'm fat. How much more do you have to, like, you know, and Good. Yeah. But then same, like, rushing because she's on Lexapril. Before, this would have never warranted an apology. But very quickly, she followed me to the bathroom where I was crying. She's like, no, you know, I just like, baggy pants. Like, I think they're so cool. You're not fat. I've seen you in the shower. You look good.

[Esther]

You were crying over this.

[Kalila]

Oh, yeah.

[Esther]

Really?

[Kalila]

Because it's just.

[Jenna]

It's mean.

[Kalila]

It's. It's. It's. It's one of those things that it's

[Jenna]

like she just was like, this is my mom every day.

[Kalila]

No, it's like, exactly. It's like. I think any other time I would have just been like, because I'm in this extended postpartum, like, sensitivity. But why does your mom not want to be called an almond mom anymore?

[Esther]

I don't know. She just, like, you're always talking, coming almond mom. What is that? And then I explained.

[Jenna]

Because she doesn't know what it is.

[Esther]

She does. And I explained it to my dad, and he just, like, laughed at me and was like, thought I'm crazy. But they are almond parents. He is an almond man.

[Kalila]

He's an almond.

[Esther]

He's an almond man. He. My God. I made myself a plate of leftovers this weekend. And, like, for 15 minutes, my dad's like, that's the biggest plate I've ever seen anybody make. That's for four people.

[Jenna]

Oh, my God.

[Esther]

Going on and on. They're so crazy. Yeah. And then similar pants thing. I was at the mall with my mom. I tried on a pair of jeans. I'm like, I love these. They're so comfortable. She's like, they're so big. You need a size down. Like. Like, why would you want them so big? I came home, I ordered the pants to size down. They're too small. And I want to be like, hey, mom, those were the right ones, you know?

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Esther]

Like, what is it with moms and pants?

[Kalila]

I know. And it's. It's just. It's just one of their forever glitches where it's like, they cannot help them. So my mom's like, you know my mouth. Like, you know my heart, but, you know my mouth. And I'm like, okay. And. And I was fine with it. She gave me a hug. Thank God for Lexapro. I think it heals the world.

[Esther]

Our moms are similar.

[Kalila]

Yes. And you think that I'm some very capable human. No. My mom did everything for me. It Took me a while to catch up to being an adult.

[Jenna]

Oh, yeah. Your mom does everything.

[Kalila]

She a vacuum clean. She knows every model out there.

[Jenna]

I'm like, your mom.

[Esther]

Yeah, you are. That's why I like you. You're my mommy.

[Jenna]

But it was because my mom would be like, now clean it up.

[Esther]

I noticed you doing that to Ace, and I'm always was like, shut up.

[Jenna]

Oh, yeah. Because I don't want Ace to be like you. She just be making a mess or just g. Don't even get me started.

[Esther]

Yeah. Jenna's so firm with my daughter. I'm like, you need that presence.

[Kalila]

You need.

[Guest]

You need.

[Kalila]

You need everything.

[Jenna]

Ace knows that she can control mommy and daddy. As soon as they come in, she goes like.

[Esther]

And then. And then.

[Jenna]

So then they'll be like, oh, you want tia agua? I'm like, you're not having my agua.

[Esther]

That's my agua.

[Jenna]

Yeah, so we don't have to be mean. But you have your agua and I have mine. Or she'll go to rip my glasses off my face. No, thank you. And she responds in a calm way.

[Esther]

Do you hear that evil voice she uses? No, thank you. She, like, goes so monotone. It's like. It is, like, handmade. You're like, no, thank you. Thank you.

[Jenna]

No, I just go like, no, thank you. We're not doing that. And I don't think you're not doing that because I don't want to put that on her. Yeah, just we, as a community, we're not doing that.

[Esther]

I can't stand your Ace voice.

[Jenna]

Do you want to know what's worse is when they come home and then she just starts crying and screaming about something, and they just go, okay. It just teaches her that she has to cry and scream, and she's getting activated. I'm offering her too hard. I'm offering her a way where she doesn't have to get upset to get attention. She can just ask what she wants for.

[Esther]

I'm fine with it. I'm. I don't want to disrupt what you do, but I just want to say that your voice when you talk to Ace freaks me out. Don't care, cuz I can't handle it. But I did notice in that video I posted on Instagram, like, when she ripped Bernie's band aid off of him, Someone commented like, that she was looking at you like she knew she was in trouble.

[Guest]

Trouble?

[Jenna]

No, she's not in trouble, guys. We never even talked about that. I went to the World cup game

[Esther]

with that's so funny. You literally went to the World Cup.

[Jenna]

Which one is my dad? We saw Switzerland versus Qatar.

[Kalila]

Oh, nice.

[Jenna]

It was just so beautiful seeing my Mexican immigrant dad who, like, plays soccer his whole life, would always want to go to a soccer game, but couldn't necessarily afford it. Soccer is a game of the people, but they make the tickets so absolutely expensive. And it's like people work their asses off for a game that is of the people, for someone up high to make this money. And I think the one thing that the World cup is teaching us time and time again is that the world gets along. Yeah. Like, everyone's celebrating.

[Esther]

You figured it all out.

[Jenna]

Yep.

[Esther]

World peace.

[Jenna]

Everyone's celebrating everywhere there. Except for that the United States wouldn't let Iran stay here. And so they.

[Kalila]

That team is stunning.

[Jenna]

Stone in. And so Mexico.

[Kalila]

Oh, my God. Have you seen that tick tock of them slowly leaving their plane one by one?

[Esther]

No.

[Kalila]

Oh, my. Just please look it up.

[Esther]

Oh, my God, dude. Ronnie and soccer team.

[Kalila]

Yes.

[Esther]

That sounds, like, super hot.

[Jenna]

And the fact that they're doing well is stunning because they're making. United States won't let them stay here, so they have to stay in Mexico.

[Kalila]

Aren't they staying here? Tijuana.

[Jenna]

Tijuana.

[Esther]

Why can't they stay.

[Jenna]

Stay here? Because of. Because of our chair.

[Kalila]

Here we go. Look at this, look at this. These beautiful Iranian men.

[Jenna]

Wait, why are they dressed at them?

[Kalila]

So organized how teams travel. Esther, you never traveled with a team in your tux.

[Jenna]

And it's like the. The coming off of a plane or a bus is like a big thing.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Esther]

Why?

[Jenna]

Because it became a thing culturally in soccer and it just stayed that way, like presenting the team.

[Esther]

They're like, almost too good looking.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Jenna]

They're like, well kept, too. Yeah. But Mexico obviously let them in and let them stay. So they stay there. And they're only allowed to come to the US 24 hours before their game. They have to leave immediately after. So imagine being able to do well while you are under sl.

[Esther]

So bored.

[Jenna]

You have to travel.

[Esther]

I have to stop pretending that I like you.

[Kalila]

This is rude. I hear you. I'm hearing you.

[Jenna]

Yeah. It's so, so rude of us to do when the World cup is about the world, and yet they're still doing great and looking great.

[Kalila]

And you know what? Tijuana's got great food.

[Jenna]

Have you ever been to Tijuana?

[Esther]

I don't think so.

[Jenna]

Let's take.

[Esther]

Would I know if I've been?

[Jenna]

I think, like, if you've crossed at the Border and gone and come back, like in a.

[Kalila]

Wait, wait, wait. I have a really great idea. I know that it's not in, like, the. Not in the next year. Maybe after that. There I. My best friend

[Jenna]

walk, walk.

[Kalila]

We take her to the original Caesar salad place in Tijuana. We take her to my favorite taco spot. We just drive across the Yumi, the three of us. We'll give her a whole Tijuana experience.

[Esther]

Wait, can we also get dental work? Isn't it cheaper than.

[Kalila]

Oh, anything you want, girl.

[Jenna]

We can get asses there.

[Kalila]

Can we get a new pos?

[Jenna]

If I'm going to Tijuana, I'm not getting my teeth done. I'm getting my ass and pousse done.

[Kalila]

Okay,

[Esther]

redo.

[Jenna]

What's going on?

[Kalila]

Red card or yellow card?

[Guest]

Red card being a deal breaker, yellow card being you'll let it slide.

[Kalila]

Okay.

[Guest]

All right, first one up.

[Esther]

If they drive past their ex's house, but they also bring you along.

[Kalila]

Oh, no, yellow, yellows. Yellow card if it's a girl. If now I'm with a guy friend and he's doing that, I'm going to be like, brother, it's a red card. You're out. But if it's a girl, I'm like, yeah, let's see who's parked outside.

[Jenna]

Yeah, she's just like, I got my driver's life last week.

[Esther]

Next up, if they have an ultra clean, pristine apartment, but they wear their shoes in the house.

[Kalila]

Yeah. Red card all the way.

[Jenna]

Shoes in the house. At any point.

[Guest]

No, I thought for the whites, you'd come through on this one.

[Esther]

I. I know, but I'm trying to choose change like it is.

[Jenna]

Esther, your house is shoes off house. Yeah, it is, but I've never seen you with your shoes in your house.

[Esther]

But you. That's because I have in house shoes, which is proper.

[Kalila]

That's the way you do it.

[Esther]

Oh, okay.

[Jenna]

That's not saying that you have to be barefoot in your house.

[Esther]

Sounds like a new invention for the white people. Is shoe house shoes.

[Kalila]

Shoe house.

[Jenna]

Because they can't be barefoot.

[Esther]

Shoe house shoes.

[Guest]

All right?

[Esther]

They're a healthy communicator, but it's only through Snapchat.

[Kalila]

Yeah, Snapchat in general is a red card.

[Jenna]

If you can only communicate via anything other than looking at me and speaking.

[Esther]

I can't even imagine a man on Snapchat like you.

[Jenna]

Literally, there are none. They're just boys.

[Esther]

Ew, you burp. Ew. Do you fart, too,

[Jenna]

weirdo.

[Esther]

He works a lot, but he works Out a lot. He only goes to female dominated fitness glasses.

[Jenna]

Love that. That's hard.

[Esther]

No green card.

[Kalila]

Yeah, that's fine for me.

[Esther]

Red. Why would you do not want to

[Kalila]

Wait, I see it. You know, Esther's right. Red.

[Jenna]

Why?

[Esther]

I don't want a man that's comfortable around women working out.

[Kalila]

I think that he has an ulterior motive here also. It's.

[Esther]

Those are workouts for us little girls. Those are not for you and your man muscles.

[Jenna]

Esther, you gotta go to hell.

[Guest]

Esther's a man. Sometimes. I appreciate it.

[Jenna]

Like, you're nasty, man.

[Esther]

I know.

[Kalila]

I thought I was in an all girl pod. Turns out, no, it's so.

[Esther]

It's like getting worse too. I'm like misogynist.

[Jenna]

It's gross. It's from someone else.

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Jenna]

Where is it from? Because Dave is not massaging.

[Esther]

No, it's not Dave.

[Jenna]

Dave tells me, yeah, you're bad, Esther.

[Esther]

But I'm like, I know it's weird.

[Kalila]

I'm seeing it from a different way. I feel like maybe he's like being predatory and trying to be a pick me and trying to be like an ally to women when he's really just. Just like, is he the performative is

[Esther]

like really loves family game night, but gets extremely upset when they start losing. Okay, that's Kalila.

[Jenna]

Okay. Like I would let it slide.

[Esther]

Wait, that's Dave too. That's Dave.

[Guest]

Do you let it slide?

[Esther]

No.

[Jenna]

Yeah, it's okay to get upset when you're losing. That's part of being competitive.

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

I think as long as you're being

[Jenna]

a sore ass loser and you're like, no, that didn't happen.

[Kalila]

So let me talk about my sister. Sister's ex. The reason that it was like we would play poker, we would always have like poker night. And if it was me and him at the end, I would always intentionally lose because he was one of those narcissistic that like, it wasn't even a funny upset. It was like everyone's day was ruined and then my sister would then pay for it when they got back to their bedroom at night.

[Jenna]

Like, that is the nasty.

[Kalila]

So that kind of red card. But if it's like Dave because. Because Dave's upset is funny to me. Like when he's upset about karaoke and like people taking their turns, it's like so funny to me.

[Jenna]

Yeah, Dave being upset is generally funny.

[Esther]

I know it's so addicting to upset him.

[Kalila]

But if they're like really mad and ruining the night, that's red card, baby.

[Esther]

But are you, where do you fall? What category?

[Kalila]

Oh no, I'm. I'm honestly, I think I bring the vibes. Because if there's not one competitive person there, like what the fuck are we doing?

[Esther]

That's fair. Like if, if everyone was an Esther about it, it would be boring.

[Kalila]

Because to me it's like I'm telling you that this matters and it's high stakes and you can make fun of me and I'm like really throwing my heart onto this game. Like to me that's fun and fun

[Jenna]

and you can be with it or you can be against it.

[Kalila]

Yeah. And if I'm crying at the end, it's even funnier. You know what I mean? It's like I'm not going to take it personally. I'm not going to beat anyone up. I'm not going to ruin your night.

[Jenna]

You know, part of playing game night is like caring shit's about to get heated over Monopoly.

[Kalila]

Yeah, exactly.

[Esther]

I want to have game night.

[Kalila]

Oh, we should. That'll be a part of it. Just has to wrap by eight.

[Jenna]

I carry a Lego game in my car.

[Kalila]

We're not going to play that one.

[Esther]

What the first of all. Wait, wrap by eight.

[Kalila]

But the 7:30.

[Esther]

No, because Ace goes down at seven. That's when the night starts.

[Kalila]

Okay, let's. You're music to my ears, lady. If we start at 2pm, great. 3pm as soon as they wake up from their nap. Perfect.

[Esther]

Wait, no.

[Jenna]

Well, we want talking about no kids are asleep. Oh, I see. Ain't no kids playing.

[Kalila]

I can't cuz I co sleep.

[Jenna]

But he can stay asleep without you in the bed, right?

[Kalila]

No, he. I stay in the bed with him. I like to just there.

[Jenna]

What about Aloha? Can he be in the bed?

[Kalila]

He can be in bed. He can. No, he can play the game with you guys while I'm not there. How about that?

[Esther]

She's like game night, I won't be there.

[Kalila]

Yeah, game night.

[Esther]

Sending someone but place I'm participating.

[Guest]

No, she's hearing the answers and texting them together.

[Jenna]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.

[Esther]

But that's interesting. And an interesting pitch is game night with the babies there. Yeah, let me wrap my head around that.

[Kalila]

You're right, it's not happening. Wait a second, what am I saying?

[Esther]

If they have a criminal record but it's non violent, fine. Not for me. I'm done with le. I'm done.

[Jenna]

What do you mean you're done? As if it started.

[Kalila]

Okay, the reason I'm saying yellow flag.

[Jenna]

I used to date this Felon and I'm done.

[Esther]

No, bitch. My uncle.

[Jenna]

Did you date him?

[Esther]

No.

[Kalila]

But Esther, what if it's like you fucking. You have a juvie record of like selling weed in like the 2000s where it was still a big. No, no, no.

[Jenna]

Or what if they just like got in a fight in high school, which is every human.

[Esther]

I don't want that person. Then that's not my person.

[Kalila]

You don't believe in prison reform?

[Esther]

I do, but it's not my person.

[Jenna]

Okay, that's crazy.

[Esther]

Wait, why am I literally becoming MAGA before our eyes right now? So scary.

[Jenna]

This is really scary.

[Esther]

Literally liberal debt. Bernie Sanders ride hard for him. But like, I don't know why.

[Jenna]

I don't know. But you gotta go trad wife. Something's gotta happen.

[Esther]

Oh, my God, the transformation.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Jenna]

Yesterday Esther was like, oh, my God, you would. It would be so funny. You as a trad wife. And I'm like, why did you even say those words?

[Esther]

Did I say that?

[Jenna]

Yeah. In bed. When you were.

[Kalila]

You guys were in bed together. But by the way, they're not enmeshed.

[Esther]

When you were. I don't remember.

[Guest]

Okay, guys, last one.

[Jenna]

They pay for the bill, but they don't tip well.

[Kalila]

Whoa, you are mega.

[Esther]

Oh, wait, I literally meant this one. Oh, my God. No, it's because she went like she

[Jenna]

thought she could pick it without looking.

[Esther]

Yeah, that's true.

[Jenna]

Like you're a ref.

[Kalila]

This is like that one Friends episode when Ross. Ross's in laws. The dad, Rachel's parents paid for dinner. And then Ross looks over at the tip and he's like, slides a little extra.

[Esther]

Oh, that would be Dave.

[Jenna]

The.

[Kalila]

And then the dad comes and he's like, well, you think I'm cheap. And it became a whole.

[Esther]

That's a great topic for a TV show. I love that. I. I will say though, sometimes I'm like, Dave, you tip too much.

[Jenna]

You can never tip too much.

[Kalila]

No, you can't. Yeah, I don't believe. Believe in that.

[Jenna]

Because the servers are the maggots coming.

[Esther]

The servers are what?

[Jenna]

That is part of what they have factored in to their income.

[Esther]

I know, but like, I do feel like sometimes it gets out of hand. Like I'm picking every negative take just to fight you. I don't even believe these things. Listen, I just don't want you to get away with the.

[Jenna]

You say my parents.

[Esther]

You're trying to be so evil fall.

[Jenna]

She's not. The parents have worked in restaurant. My dad, you know, their. Their whole lives.

[Esther]

I hate. I don't believe any of these things.

[Kalila]

I know. You gotta go home and you're just triggered by Jenna.

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Jenna]

I make you maga.

[Esther]

Yeah, you do. You're like, a lot of origin.

[Jenna]

People online would agree with you that,

[Esther]

like, they hate me so much and

[Jenna]

the things that I say, that they're like, liberals.

[Kalila]

I'm gonna go be me Maga.

[Jenna]

Of.

[Kalila]

Of Warren.

[Guest]

I've heard that take. And it's only from men. Usually. It's like, she's just so annoyingly feminist. Not about you, but, like, women online, that's like, I just want to be a misogynist, you know? You're making me right wing.

[Kalila]

That's what your whole morality hinges on. Yeah.

[Esther]

Like, pissed you off.

[Jenna]

You.

[Kalila]

You. You don't have your own set of, like, fundamental beliefs that you're going to base it off of. How you feel about a woman online is insane.

[Jenna]

So funny. I've got that a lot too. They're like, well, you didn't have to show your leg hair like that. What? Brother? What?

[Esther]

Brother.

[Kalila]

Brother.

[Esther]

Okay, it's time to go.

[Kalila]

It's time to go.

[Esther]

Goodbye.

[Kalila]

Goodbye. We love you. We'll see you next time.

[Guest]

Bye,

[Esther]

Sam.