We Drown IAN FIDANCE

Summary

Trash Tuesday w/ Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn

Episode Title: "We Drown IAN FIDANCE"

Date: October 7, 2025

Guest: Ian Fidance (comedian, podcaster)

Episode Overview

This spirited, chaotic, and heartfelt episode of Trash Tuesday features comedian Ian Fidance joining hosts Khalyla Kuhn and Esther Povitsky (plus Jenna Jimenez) for a Halloween-adjacent, trauma-unpacking, and laugh-packed hang. The episode weaves together signature nonsense—like a group bobbing-for-oranges challenge and Halloween movie charades—with surprisingly deep conversations about bodily mishaps, family quirks, relationships, and cannibalism hypotheticals. All with the Trash Tuesday crew’s characteristic raw honesty, self-deprecating humor, and family-like camaraderie.

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Key Discussion Points & Highlights

1. Opening Antics and Costume Chaos

[02:00–05:30]

• The gang discusses Halloween costumes. Jenna dresses as Esther, leading to playful ribbing and impressions of Esther’s “waddle.”
• Khalyla’s under the weather due to a bloody nose, drawing concern and banter about everyone’s bodily ailments ("I woke up at 4am with a bloody nose and I was up for hours." – Khalyla, 02:11).
• Jokes about wearing each other’s clothes while actively bleeding sets an irreverent, TMI tone:
  • Quote: “I’ll drink your blood, all of you, if it will make me bleed.” – Jenna (02:56)
  • Quote: “My panties are more high rise than your pants.” – Jenna (03:40)

2. Tennis, Competition, and Energy

[05:30–07:10]

• Ian shares about picking up tennis, getting off meds, and newfound energy. Friendly tennis rivalry stories ensue.

3. Cannibalism, The Andes Crash, and Moral Questions

[07:10–13:00]

• The "who would you eat first if stranded" debate gets a Trash Tuesday deep-dive, drawing from movies Alive and The Snow Society, and real-life Andes crash.
• Ian is predictably filthy:
  • Quote: "I’d eat Kalila and start at the pussy. That’s right." – Ian (07:43)
• They explore the ethics and rituals of cannibalism through anthropological anecdotes (the South Pacific “kuru” disease).
  • Quote: “Once upon a time, as a funeral ritual...they would eat the brains of the deceased. And there was this bacterial, like, brain...that would then acquire... encephalitis... The disease was called like, kuru or something like that. It is kuru, right?” – Jenna (09:39)
  • Esther and Khalyla reveal they'd be comfortable with being eaten after death, as a final act of friendship.
  • Butchering technique gets discussed—Jenna’s partner Aloha is apparently pro-level.

4. Family, Money, and Parental Dynamics

[14:00–17:00]

• Jenna’s stepdad still gives her $150 cash for birthdays ("I think it’s just so cute, though, that I’m 40 and no matter what, like, he still puts money in my birthday card." – Jenna, 15:11).
• Esther’s “special gum” story: growing up, her dad would hide money for her as “gum” when her parents traveled ("So he started leaving me money there. And for, like, 15 years, my mom didn’t know what he was talking about. Special gum. She thought it was gum." – Esther, 16:08).
• Khalyla admits she can’t say no to her kid or dog—“no backbone” is a recurring comedic theme.

5. Water Brands and The "Arsenic Allegations"

[18:08–19:13]

• Khalyla brings up the trending claim that Mountain Valley water contains arsenic, all based on a TikTok scientist:
  • Quote: “Some scientist on TikTok actually did a breakdown… They did, like, independent testing, but still.” – Jenna (18:31)
  • It’s all tongue-in-cheek panic and further evidence the show thrives on internet nonsense.

6. Ian’s Love Life Updates (or Not)

[19:13–22:22]

• Ian details the recent end of a bi-coastal relationship with an adult film star, highlighting the paradox between her jealousy (“I get jealous if I see a girl, like, commenting on your things. And I was like, wow, you are a porn star and you just filmed a gangbang, but that’s okay.” – Ian, 19:44).
• He’s both resigned ("It’s just not tenable.") and introspective about his own dating needs.
  • Discusses the fantasy of a partner willing to tour with him constantly.
  • Has, by necessity, gotten better at breaking things off honestly—though it’s exhausting.
  • Quote: "I might just become like, asexual and kiss my cats and that’s it. Like, I don’t know. It’s just, I. I don’t know if it’s, it’s. It’s worth trying anymore because it’s so, like, such a defective existence, you know?" – Ian (21:43)

7. Relationship Red Flags and Cutting Ties

[22:22–24:13]

• Jenna shares a cautionary tale about a friend's relationship with a "cokehead," extolling the power of ghosting versus long-winded explanations for why the breakup is happening.
  • Quote: “You treat me a certain way. You have zero access to me without explanation.… She’s like, he will change if I explain myself. I’m like, no, he will not change if you explain it.” – Jenna (23:34)

8. Bobbing for Oranges – A Chaotic Group Challenge

[24:24–37:27]

• In celebration of the season, the group tackles "bobbing for oranges" (apples swapped out due to allergies).
  • Hilarity ensues: splashed water everywhere, soaked costumes, and much discussion about who can go “deep” (and several sexual innuendos).
  • Quote: “I've never seen someone standing waterboard themselves. This is wild. It looks like a Hungry Hungry Hippo with no teeth.” – Ian (27:21)
  • Khalyla emerges as the clear bobbing champion, invoking her real-life free diving skills—"You just have to go deep enough so that you can get to the bottom and then bite down." (29:44)
  • Jenna's reaction: “Dude, you’re, like, making out with orange. You’re, like, intimately getting in there. Holy– Oh my god.… You’re a sick [person].” (28:53)
  • Post-game reflection:
    • Quote: “This is like, the only event out of the house…My baby has a sleep regression, and I haven’t slept in two and a half weeks…. This is an event!” – Jenna (35:25)
    • Quote: “It’s been like, forever since I’ve had a blanket covered in dog hair used as a towel… it was just so nice.” – Ian (35:59)
  • Khalyla as serene diver: “Water really, like, triggers my mammalian… dive reflex, slows my heart rate down.” (36:45)
  • Running joke: various items now soaked, dog hair everywhere, everyone exhausted.

9. Halloween Horror Movie Charades

[38:30–46:55]

• The episode closes with a rapid-fire game of Halloween/ horror-themed charades.
  • Highlights: Esther’s horror movie nerd prowess, creative “acting out” of classics (Chainsaw Massacre, Psycho, Poltergeist, Train to Busan, Get Out), and the show’s signature playful chaos.
  • Quote: "If you’re watching at home. Yes, I did just touch the back of my ear and smell it. I’m sorry. Very normal." – Ian (40:42)
  • Ian gets points for inappropriate guesses; the friendly competition and side commentary keep the energy high.

10. Closing Banter

[47:17–48:32]

• Ian plugs his tour and travel show: "ianfinance.com for tickets…I’m on the road right now till February… Ian do an odd guy doing odd jobs."
• Hosts reflect on family vibes: “Thanks for always treating me like family.” – Ian (48:22)
• Final tease: potential live set with Jenna joining Ian on stage.

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• “I’ll drink your blood, all of you, if it will make me bleed.”
  – Jenna (02:56)

• “I’d eat Kalila and start at the pussy. That’s right.”
  – Ian (07:43)

• “My stepdad still gives me $150 for my birthday.”
  – Jenna (15:11)

• “Once upon a time, as a funeral ritual…they would eat the brains of the deceased. The disease was called kuru.”
  – Jenna (09:39)

• “I might just become like, asexual and kiss my cats and that’s it. …It’s just, I…I don’t know if it’s worth trying anymore because it’s so, like, such a defective existence.”
  – Ian (21:43)

• "Look at the chair. Look at the chair. Dude, that was like Vietnam. I don’t understand how you did that."
  – Ian (32:41)

• “Water really, like, triggers my mammalian... dive reflex that slows my heart rate down.”
  – Khalyla (36:45)

• “If you’re watching at home. Yes, I did just touch the back of my ear and smell it. I’m sorry. Very normal.”
  – Ian (40:42)

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Episode Timeline & Timestamps (MM:SS)

• 00:00–05:30 – Halloween costumes, physical complaints, fitting insults
• 05:30–07:10 – Tennis, competitive antics
• 07:10–13:00 – Cannibalism, Andes crash, eating after death
• 14:00–17:00 – Family, special gum, birthday money stories
• 17:00–19:13 – Parenting, saying no, dog and kid discipline
• 18:08–19:13 – Water brands and fake arsenic panic
• 19:13–22:22 – Ian’s breakup and thoughts on love
• 22:22–24:13 – Why ghosting > explaining yourself (relationship advice)
• 24:24–37:27 – Bobbing for oranges, diving, orange-induced chaos
• 38:30–46:55 – Horror movie charades: group laughs and game night energy
• 47:17–end – Tour plugs, live set discussions, family vibes

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Tone & Language

• Tone: Irreverent, candid, affectionately teasing
• Language: Explicit, self-revealing, “kitchen table” honesty

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For the Trash Tuesday “Sluggies”:

This episode is a prime example of unfiltered, relatable comedy chaos—fitting for Halloween season and for fans who crave both wild games and quirky, real-life confessions. It’s equal parts silly, gross, and sweet, reminding listeners why the Trash Tuesday crew (and all their “repeat defenders”) feel more like family than just podcast hosts.

Transcript

[A]

Do we have another bucket?

[B]

Do we have another studio? This isn't a towel. It's a blanket. And there's dog hair everywhere.

[C]

My seat is covered in mugs.

[B]

He's going out of everything. I'm gonna have to change my dress.

[A]

Oh, God, the wet hair.

[C]

Kalila. Yes, I'm here. We have a Patreon.

[D]

We do some juicy things in there. I wouldn't dare say on a regular episode.

[C]

True. And also sometime when the producers clip something from the Patreon, I get nervous and I see it on social media.

[D]

I'm like, guys, is this supposed to be a secret?

[C]

That was for Patreon. And then we have to take it down because you have to pay for that. Mostly because I'm humiliated.

[D]

Me too. I mean, this week's Patreon, I'm like, guy, please don't release that.

[C]

Give me a second.

[D]

Give me a second to, like, really, really, like, sift through everything I've said.

[C]

But it has been really nice. And we're hearing from the sluggies, especially if you are a true super fan of the show and you just feel. Feel like you're wanting more, that is where we're giving it. Oftentimes we'll record an episode for about an hour or so, and then we'll do another 20, 30 minute. Whether it's a game or a topic or advice. And it's just more podcasts for you guys. Find it at the link below or I think patreon.com Trash Tuesday podcast. We'll see you guys there. Thank you, Brandon.

[D]

Thank you, Brandon.

[C]

Hi, slugs. I am right now backstage at the Comedy Store getting ready for my tour. And I just wanted to let you know that this Saturday night, October 4th, I will be in Portland. Portland, Oregon. Heard of it? One of my favorite cities. I can't wait to eat all your food. I will be at the Aladdin theater and you can get tickets@prettylittlebaby tour.com or the link below. Okay, I gotta get out of here. I love you guys. Happy Halloween.

[A]

Do you guys get it? Like, this is Esther dressing up for Halloween. How is me as Esther with a wig on far off? Like, this is insanity.

[C]

I. I just want.

[A]

Let's save it for the air that.

[C]

I'm not operating at my fullest today because I woke up at 4am with a bloody nose and I was up for hours.

[D]

Did I roll my eyes?

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

I woke up at 4am with a bloody nose.

[D]

You woke up just one time with a bloody nose.

[C]

I woke up all night. It's just sad when you. You want to sleep, but your nose is bleeding, and so you have to.

[A]

I feel like Kalila has slept with whole, like, brain bleeding, nose bleeding.

[D]

Well, I. I will have you know the reason you're not going to be happy I'm wearing your clothes today is because I am actively bleeding. But I took Esther's advice and I'm wearing a pad and I'm wearing Spanx under.

[A]

I mean, I don't care if you bleed on them. I'm just sad that I'm not bleeding.

[D]

Oh, that's right.

[A]

Sorry. I'll drink your blood, all of you, if it will make me bleed.

[C]

Do not.

[D]

I'll let you drink my blood if.

[A]

It will make me bleed.

[D]

There's our baby girl, Pearl.

[A]

Honestly. Yeah, we've been recording. Let's save it for the air.

[B]

You know what's funny? You guys are like, I'll dress like Jenna. I'll dress like Esther. I'm Kalila. And you're like, let's put Ian in a dress.

[D]

Super cute, though.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

And I'll tell you what it is, is that I knew that they weren't gonna dress up, so I dressed up as Esther and then brought clothes as me for Kalila.

[B]

You were just wearing a wig, but.

[A]

Would wear these pants or this. What are they low rise? Look how low they are.

[C]

I love that The. The panties sticking out.

[A]

That's the thing. My panties are more high rise than your pants.

[D]

I think the shoes, the whole look, if you stand up, really is giving Esther.

[B]

Thank you.

[C]

No, I agree.

[B]

Give us a little look.

[A]

Have I ever worn gym shoes like this?

[B]

You look great.

[C]

I know.

[D]

I think you should start dressing like this.

[A]

Why don't you.

[B]

Why don't you take that wig off and let your, like, normal hair out? You look like I could pick you up at a Weezer concert.

[A]

Guys, honestly, I'm going to be Esther right now.

[B]

Hold on. Okay, here we go.

[D]

Oh, the waddle, the waddle. No, run. Run like Esther.

[C]

I don't know why I walk like that.

[D]

I think it's because you guys sent me a video of your calves. And honestly, like, they're. They look like calves of a person who is fully passing away.

[A]

Yeah, they do. Her calves.

[B]

The bone. You could, like, dial.

[A]

You could hold on to the bone.

[B]

Oh, my God, look. Oh, happy. Good God.

[C]

When people look at baby feet and they're like, they're so little. They're so cute, I'm like, I don't know what you're talking about.

[B]

You look like you're laying in a field in the Ukraine, and we're watching you on drone footage. This is crazy.

[C]

I don't know what is wrong with the lower wait.

[A]

Kalila, this is really astute of you, because I bet you you're not using your feet or your calves, probably up to your thighs. So the only thing that's working is this.

[D]

You're powering up from just mid thigh.

[C]

Wait, because that. This is always achy up here.

[A]

So you fire this first and you don't ever. That's why there's no blood flow. That's why you're white.

[B]

You lead with your pelvis when you walk.

[C]

I like lead with my hips almost.

[A]

No, it's not a. It's not a sway. It's like a broken.

[D]

I'm sorry. Now tell us about your bloody nose.

[C]

There's nothing more. I had a bloody nose at 4am so I'm just not at my fullest today.

[A]

Kalila's bleeding, has a baby. Was probably up all night. I had two episodes last night.

[B]

I was up this morning at 8am to play tennis.

[C]

What the.

[B]

No, I was up, wait, 6:30 to meet my friend and more vista to play tennis.

[A]

Wait, okay.

[B]

I love tennis.

[D]

I know, but it's the. It's the energy. We're not worried about the activity itself. It's the energy it takes.

[A]

We didn't even get up after said 6am we didn't hear anything else.

[B]

Dude, I played tennis. I've gotten off my meds. I feel great. Things are really good, man. My. My buddy runs a sober living house, and he's busy. He's got a family. I'm busy. And so the only time we could figure out to hang was this morning. I was like, all right, I'll wake up and we can play tennis. And he thinks he's, like, better than me at tennis, and he's, like, so off on that. And then I took a video of him being, like, super competitive and. And, like, when I was in my car, and he's like, you really think you're better than me in tennis? Like, yeah, man. You're, like, really bad. And he doesn't know I'm taping. He's like, I. I'm legitimately flabbergasted.

[D]

This is like. This is sounding like my best friend Jenna, who. You know, where it's like, every time we have family bowling night, she sends the family group chat, like, number one. Oh, yeah, she's number one, and she is always last place. But she comes in with a full Energy of being the best. And I don't even think, like, she only has gutter balls, but she is, like, like, super compelled.

[A]

She's, like, really convinced that this is it, not me.

[C]

I walk in a loser, I walk out a loser. There's no. No exchange of energy, and you don't really even walk. Wait, okay, so you know how there's like, this common conversation that's come up on this podcast before, and it's like, oh, if it was just us on a, you know, deserted somewhere, who would you eat first?

[A]

Uh huh.

[C]

Okay, So I always thought that that, like, topic of conversation originated from the Andes.

[A]

Originated.

[B]

Originated.

[C]

Originated.

[D]

Sounding like originated.

[B]

I think you lost too much.

[D]

Wrong emphasis on their own sentences.

[B]

Can I answer first? I'd eat Kalila and start at the pussy. That's right.

[D]

That means today you'd be eating Jenna. Because I am dressed as Jenna.

[A]

Yeah, but your pussy's bleeding. Hey, you actually thought I smelled good? Good.

[B]

Oh, did you? Were you the best smelling one?

[C]

That was the worst.

[D]

No, I was the best.

[B]

I forget. So we're gonna have to do it again.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

I. So I always thought that was from. Because you guys know the story of the Andes mountain plane crash from 1973?

[B]

Oh, the Chilean soccer team?

[D]

Yeah, that's from the movie Alive.

[A]

Yeah. Des, I thought you were saying, like, Andy is someone.

[B]

Like, you know, our friend Andy. That crash in a plane.

[D]

A little funny.

[C]

Andy's playing Crash.

[D]

My fun childhood is that for some reason, my mom replayed that movie over and over again in our house.

[A]

What? Yeah, your mom would.

[B]

That is crazy.

[D]

And I'm like, how many times do we have to see this guy cry over the fact that he has to eat his friend?

[A]

And then she repeats.

[C]

Well, there's actually a movie that I highly recommend called the Snow Society. That's a Spanish film on Netflix. Have you seen it?

[A]

No, but I want to so bad.

[C]

You should watch it.

[A]

I wanted to watch it with a.

[C]

Lot, but it's all about it. And I always thought that the guys were, like, sitting around, like, who are we gonna eat? But they ate the people that already died.

[D]

That already died.

[C]

So nobody has to be saying how they're gonna kill me.

[D]

No one's been saying that.

[B]

Wait, wait, wait. You think if you're on an island, you have to kill someone and then eat them?

[D]

That's very Lord of the Flies, I think.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

If it's just whoever's dead, then why is it like, you guys?

[A]

Because you would obviously die first.

[D]

No, because I think that there are people who are offended by the idea that their friends would eat them post mortem. And for me, it's like, look, if I'm already dead, please have at it.

[A]

I don't care.

[B]

We don't have to wait to be on an island. I think we should start eating our loved ones when they die, because that's a way for us to be one with them. And it's their final gift to this earth is to keep us fed.

[D]

The reason we cannot do that anymore is because once upon a time, as a funeral ritual in a small island in the South Pacific, they would eat the brains of the deceased. And there was this bacterial, like, brain. It was a bacteria that they would then acquire that they would turn into, like, encephalitis, like, inflammation of the brain. So then it was like the World Health Organization had to intervene and say, we cannot eat the. We cannot eat the disease anymore. Even though it's part of your ritual. Because I think the disease was called, like, kuru or something like that. It is kuru, right?

[B]

Really? I learned one of your relatives. I didn't know you.

[D]

Honestly, that's from my head. It's what we did.

[C]

I totally am with you. Like, I'm just so shocked when I watch the movie Snow Society, like, how much the survivors did not want to eat their dead friends. They're like, we can't, we can't. And I'm like, obviously it's gross, but I don't really have, like, a moral objection.

[B]

Was that real, or did they church that up for the film?

[C]

No, that was real. Supposedly, that was real.

[D]

I think if you're a good friend, this is what I would do. I have a little speech right beforehand, guys. It's looking like I'm the first to go. Please, for the love of God, stay alive and use my body for calories. I'm gonna give you full permission. And if you don't, you wouldn't be respecting my final will.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

So, like, do that. I'm out, guys. Eat me. Me, me, me.

[B]

I would say before you eat me, shove your hand up my ass and make me a puppet and entertain people and then eat me.

[A]

And then eat. I mean, I would.

[B]

And if you don't make me a puppet, you're disrespecting my dying wish.

[A]

Yeah, I feel like I wouldn't even need to say that. I think people would know that I want to be eaten and I am dead.

[D]

Clearly, people are, like, pretty, like, bent out of shape about it.

[A]

But even if there's. I feel like There's a lot of people are going to be like, I just can't. We just. We had so many fun times.

[B]

I don't think it's the idea of, like, I can't eat. I can't eat Kila because we're friends. I think it's. I can't eat Kila because she's a human being.

[C]

That's gross. Yeah.

[B]

I think it has to do with, like, the energy. Your friendship.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I think it's both. Because if you see a face and you recognize it. I'm not saying you could. What are you going to eat?

[C]

Face first.

[D]

Yeah, that's what.

[B]

You're a psycho. I like to start with the cheek.

[D]

Wait, that's what we do. The cheek is very thunder. Yeah. And sea sig and fish and pork and like, if cheek meat is the best meat.

[C]

And Kalila is a little quiet in this section. She's totally, like, looking forward to.

[A]

You've seen your body. You think we're starting at the bottom?

[B]

No, we're using your bones as weapons.

[A]

We don't even have to skin you. Break it off. If I'm ready.

[B]

Break it off. Crack it. A celery stick.

[C]

One thing that they did, the real survivors did, was they had, like, a group of three guys that did all the, like, carving, the butchering. So. Yeah. So that no one else had to know who they were eating, which is probably really helpful.

[A]

That's really healthy.

[B]

It's like blind hiring.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Because it does make a difference. I don't care what you say, it makes a difference. If you see that face, that birthmark, you know who it is.

[B]

But why is that different than, like, if you see the cow's face before you eat its filet, you know, like.

[C]

Well, it's like, if you knew the cow, it would probably be the same.

[B]

Well, that's why we don't meet our cows. And we shouldn't know who's getting chopped up to eat.

[A]

Yeah. Because they'd be like, oh, it's little Benny. I can't. Who would butcher you or you probably.

[D]

A pretty good butcher.

[A]

Oh.

[D]

I mean, just because I know how to, like, properly, like, cut meat, I. And like, my clean out.

[B]

If I wasn't doing comedy, I would. I think I would love to go to butcher school.

[D]

Can I tell you know who you need to learn from? My partner. My partner. Aloha is one of the best. He hunts and he butchers the whole animal, like, from beginning to end. And he cuts all the pieces for you. He butchers whatever Part. You want the cap, Steak. He'll get you the cap. Yeah, he'll tell you what, dude, this guy, great butcher, but he'll teach you anatomy, too, of where it's easiest to start from.

[B]

Is he a butcher?

[D]

No, he's in everything. He's in everything, but he. He hunts and, you know.

[B]

Oh. Because I was gonna say, could I work with him for my travel show?

[D]

You could, Yeah.

[B]

I want to work with a butcher.

[D]

Oh, a real butcher? Like.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

How did this come up?

[C]

Yeah, I watched the movie yesterday. No Snow. Snow Society, which I think is better, supposedly.

[B]

Snow Society is about that crash.

[C]

Yeah. And it's. It's supposed to be more historically accurate. And it's in Spanish, but it's dubbed on Netflix. It's good. I highly recommend.

[A]

Esther just had me translate every line for her.

[D]

On my way here, my stepdad texted me this thing. He was like, hey, you know, thank you for buying me whatever deodorant that doesn't make his armpit itch. He was like, I'm so touched by it. But nothing's gonna change. I'm still only gonna give you 150 for your birthday. And I wanted to ask you guys, your parents still give you money for your birthday?

[A]

No.

[D]

Like, when you were a child, gave.

[A]

Me money for my birthday. You think they're paying me for being born? They gotta pay more for me to be born?

[D]

Never.

[B]

No. Every time my mom tried to give me money, I give it back. Or if she'd buy me things.

[A]

Okay, but she's giving it to you.

[B]

Well, she tries, but I don't let her.

[D]

So you never open a birthday card carefully because you don't want the cash to slip out. And you pretend. You never have to pretend. Like, you're reading a birthday card with looking at how secretly counting how much money you've gotten for your birthday?

[A]

No grandparents.

[B]

Yeah, I would, like, get. I would read the card and then be like, whoa, the money. Never liked the money. The money.

[A]

My grandmother always gave us money. Like, for Hanukkah, for birthdays.

[D]

I think it's just so cute, though, that I'm 40 and no matter what, like, he still puts money in my birthday card.

[A]

Like, I'm a K. Isn't that what.

[B]

You want to do as a parent? To give money? I mean, I'm an asshole because I don't take it. But, you know, like, that's sweet, too, though. I don't know. I think. Isn't that, like, you want to take care of your kid and you want to make sure they're okay, you know, like, I don't know. I think that's nice, right?

[A]

Yeah, I think it's nice. It just didn't happen to me. My dad would always give me money when my parents would, like, go away for a trip. And I was like, in college. And he would call it my special gum because he didn't want my mom to know. Cause they're both of this mentality of, like, no, you have to work for your money. And he was like, do you know what? You're gonna be alone. And so he started saying, I left you that special gum. Cause he used to get gum from Starbucks that I loved, but it was too expensive for me to get. It was, like, in the tin. And so I would say, like, poppy, can I have some of your special gum? So the first time that they left, I was, like, a freshman in college, and he was like, I left you the special gum behind the photo. And so he started leaving. And then I looked. He started leaving me money there. And for, like, 15 years, my mom didn't know what he was talking about. Special gum. She thought it was gum. And like, three years ago, she found out that it was money.

[C]

That's so sweet.

[B]

That's adorable.

[A]

And then she gave me a pack of gum, like, two months ago when I went home. And on it, it said, special gum, and inside there was some money.

[D]

Hell, yeah.

[B]

That's nice.

[A]

But they didn't do. When I was, like, growing up, it was like I was already. Could be making money on my own. Yeah, I feel like they wanted to, like, teach a lesson.

[B]

Will you do that with your kid?

[D]

No, I'm gonna do everything. I'm a sucker. Oh, I'm a sucker. I have no backbone. I thought I did, and then now I'm like, I don't.

[A]

You want to talk about no backbone?

[B]

What happened?

[A]

This ain't never said no.

[C]

I don't know how to say no to my animals or my human children.

[B]

Oh, that won't come back later.

[A]

I mean, Donut is, what, eight? And you still don't say no to her.

[C]

She's nine.

[A]

She only listens to me. Her dog.

[C]

She'll, like, attack me. And I'm like, oh, it's okay. I love you. I'm sorry.

[A]

Ace has ruined, like, four pairs of her prescription glasses. Her daughter. And she just goes, I didn't know what to say. What? And now Ace be whining if. If you point at the wrong thing that she's trying to ask for. Oh, you wanted water?

[D]

I feel like, that's, like, unavoidable, though. That is such, like, a stage where, like, you can never do anything right, and they just do it. He's starting to. He's starting to. If you give him the one thing he doesn't want, he's like, all I'm.

[A]

Saying is if my daughter. You think.

[D]

You think. You think they're baby.

[A]

No, my daughter, meaning Ace, if my daughter is rude, she. Come live with her Tia.

[C]

She's not going to be rude.

[A]

No, I don't.

[C]

She's not like that. She's like. She's just not like that.

[A]

She's. No, she's not. She's not rude at all.

[D]

You're still drinking Mountain Valley?

[C]

Well, I'm back on it because it's not true.

[D]

The allegations are untrue about the arsenic.

[C]

What are the allegations?

[A]

Oh, no, don't do this right now.

[D]

So I've been drinking Mouth Valley for, like, a decade because I thought, oh, it looks so pretty in a green bottle. And we always had it in studio for Tiger Belly, but it. It probably is one of the worst ones.

[A]

What?

[C]

No.

[D]

Yeah. Is it one of the higher arsenic? One of the higher.

[B]

Like, how do you know this?

[D]

Someone, some scientist on TikTok actually did a breakdown.

[B]

Oh, that.

[D]

He must be right.

[B]

Oh, I bet that's real.

[D]

They did, like, independent testing, but still.

[A]

Still below legal limits, so it's better than your.

[B]

This guy's a scientist.

[C]

You're not this guy.

[D]

Not this guy.

[A]

I don't trust that guy.

[B]

That guy looks like if he was a scientist, he'd be like. So actually, blow jobs make your heart healthier.

[A]

Wait, but the thing is, I'm not serious. That means then that arsenic is in natural mountain water.

[D]

Literally everything. You know, this is bad news for OCD people like us. That's all I'm saying. Okay, Ian, what's going on with you and the love life?

[C]

Just.

[D]

Well, last year here. Remember, girly pop, you thought about moving out here by the beach.

[B]

On it. Wait, really broke up with me? Yeah.

[A]

Okay. What was it like? If you want to talk about it, like, what happened, I understand.

[B]

I mean, it's like I. I'm just happy that I told myself I would put myself out there to date and tell someone that I really like them and cared. And so what. What's. What are you gonna do? You know? I mean, it's like, also, it's not tenable. I mean, I live in New York, she's in la.

[A]

Is that, like, kind of what was driving the. This isn't working?

[B]

No, I. I mean, like, she initially was like, I need to be monogamous and blah, blah, blah. And I was like, okay. And then, you know, like, took a minute to process, and then I was like, all right. And so she was like. And I. I can't do this if we're not, like, super monogamous. Like, I get jealous if I see a girl, like, commenting on your things. And I was like, wow, you are porn star and you just filmed a gang bang, but that's okay.

[D]

But that's work.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I. I gave it some thought, and I was like, look, like, I really like you, and I would like to be with you, and I'm willing to do what? Whatever it takes. Like, let's give it a shot. And she was like, give it a shot. You don't sound excited.

[A]

And I was like, that's just how you speak.

[B]

Should not be together. Like, two days later when she broke up with me, like, again, it was like, I. I can't handle being in a relationship. I was like, it's all right. We're still buds. I think I might see her when I'm out here.

[D]

Oh, good.

[B]

Get coffee and catch up.

[A]

Yeah, I feel like I did not at 6:00am Halo.

[B]

I only play tennis. It's 6:00am oh, God.

[C]

Do you have any other love life updates or any prospects?

[B]

Not particularly. It's just not. Every time I think I can, everything in the world comes up to prove I can't. Is it because I'm, like, just traveling so much? Do the yearning of, like, I miss you. I wish you were here. It's like, well, then get here. Like, let's make this work.

[A]

Yeah, I'm totally cool with that.

[B]

I think, like, the next person I'm with, I. And this is so selfish, which is why I'm, like, putting up a wall of being in a relationship. Because I think I want the next person to completely change your life, to just travel with me everywhere. And that's not fair. So what can you do?

[A]

It's also not an unreasonable. Want what you're wanting and you're not, like, delusional to think I know that someone wouldn't want that.

[B]

Like, I met a gal and we, you know, had a very, like, intense sexual thing and, like, a hang for, like, a week. And then I. I had to be like, look, like, I am. I. I would rather have this conversation now than, like, slowly ghost and, like, give you breadcrumbs, because that's not fair. And, like, it was a difficult conversation. To have, and I don't know how many more of those I can have. So I might just become like, asexual and kiss my cats and that's it. Like, I don't know. It's just, I. I don't know if it's, it's. It's worth trying anymore because it's so, like, such a defective existence. You know?

[D]

I had a friend recently who broke up with a cokehead.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[D]

Yeah. Really great girl. Great job. It is. You got into this couple month relationship with a dude who showed her all the good parts up front.

[B]

Later, I'll just say real quick, you look so cute with a little halo over your head.

[D]

Thank you.

[B]

Like, and this and that and this.

[D]

Thank you.

[A]

Open the gates. Come on in.

[D]

So he showed her love bomb, Showed her all the good parts up front.

[A]

Classic Merle.

[D]

Typical. As the months passed, she started to see certain patterns, started to see that, hey, he would shut down and then started mistreating her, then cheating, then doing all that stuff. And she thought she had the final say when she wrote him this lengthy email explaining just the breakdown of who she is, what her values are, how she will never be treated a certain way. She won't accept it. And it was long even for me. I'm like, you think that cokehead is gonna read open your email and be like, gee, I get where you're coming from, and boy, do I apologize for my actions. No, what she should have done is ghost his ass. You treat me a certain way. You have zero access to me without explanation. And I had been trying to tell her to do this because that's what he will respond. She's like, he will change if I explain myself. I'm like, no, he will not change if you explain it. I don't care how many emails you send him.

[B]

Him.

[D]

Just leave. Like terrify him. Like, just, just leave. Or actually not even. Who cares? He was shitty anyways, but just leave.

[A]

He just seems like a really shitty immature male. Yeah, he's shitty.

[D]

And I was like, you're trying to do this with a 40 year old man?

[A]

Because I feel like, wouldn't you want someone to just speak to you and tell you what's up?

[B]

Only if they tap me with their foot. What? What'd you ask? Okay, today we're gonna be bobbing for oranges, okay? We are not using apples because somebody's allergic. Who's allergic to apples? Are you serious?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

How do you keep the doctor away?

[A]

That's why I don't.

[C]

You don't?

[A]

I Don't. No. We see him twice a week. I messaged him last night, actually.

[C]

Actually.

[B]

You message your doctor?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

About what?

[A]

My blood work.

[B]

Why do you have this relationship with your doctor?

[D]

You don't.

[C]

You don't message on my chart.

[A]

Yeah, what the fuck? Don't you message him?

[D]

Not in the frequency.

[B]

Well, I'll be honest. My.

[A]

I hadn't messaged him for two years.

[B]

To be clear, my doctor is like my childhood best friend, and his brother is my criminal defense attorney.

[A]

So you literally hang out with your doctor?

[B]

Yeah, I'll go to see Blink 182 with him next week.

[A]

Okay, but me writing to my doctor about the poor.

[B]

Well, no, because I know my doctor before he was a doctor. Like, he's like, my. My. I'm like, I have this. And he's like, yeah, you're a crazy person. It's nothing. I'm like, oh, damn, that's awesome. I would love to have that connect. That is like, that. I have no relationship with. I would never. Just like, my dentist has texted me, and I'm like, doctor.

[A]

No, when I say message, I don't text. I mean in the medical. My chart thing.

[B]

Oh. Oh, I thought you like.

[A]

No, I wish.

[B]

Sterile doctor.

[A]

I wish. No, it's like, you have results. And then he writes me message, and then I write him back m. Okay.

[C]

So it's usually bobbing for apples, but you're each gonna take turns. We'll give you 30 seconds. You have to put your hands behind your back, and you have to get it.

[A]

Damn, that's really hard.

[B]

Wait, wait, wait. What if the apples are easier to bite on?

[C]

These are. You can thank somebody for that.

[A]

This is crazy. I said we should bob for bananas. Just.

[B]

I say I should put a hole in the bottom. We can bob for some cock. Funny.

[A]

Okay, I'll go first.

[B]

Here, let me chop the.

[D]

The hole in one minute. I have. Okay. I just want to say I have nurse shark teeth. There's no sharp edges on my teeth. My ends.

[B]

I thought you said nor shark teeth. And I was like, what kind of island condition is that?

[A]

Dude, I ground down my. My canines. I ground them down so they're round.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

I have nothing.

[A]

Cause I grind my teeth too much. Wait, hold on. I need to take my wig off.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Wow. You're gonna get, like, soaked. Dude.

[A]

Dude, wait, hold on.

[B]

30 seconds on the clock.

[D]

30. Only 10 minutes.

[C]

Where are you gonna put them?

[A]

I'm getting anxious.

[B]

You're gonna get that. Water's gonna get all over Your shirt. You should probably take it off.

[C]

Do it.

[A]

Never.

[D]

May I just say that because there are oranges and the hide is really thick. Can we just use our hands for some type of. I don't think it should be behind our back. Like, right here.

[B]

Does that have to do with.

[D]

So you can hold the. The thing if it moves?

[B]

No, but that's. That's. No, behind the back. Behind the back.

[D]

Okay. Set, go.

[B]

This is crazy. This is crazy. This is crazy.

[C]

She's drowning.

[B]

Oh, my God. I've never seen someone standing waterboard themselves. This is wild. It looks like a Hungry Hungry Hippo with no teeth.

[A]

Wait.

[C]

She'S gonna drown.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[D]

I'm telling you, it's so hard. Oh, she got one. She got one.

[C]

You look like a newborn baby.

[B]

Let's see it. Oh, my God. She's a little baby. I don't want to do that.

[D]

I'll try.

[B]

Do I have to do this? All right. Wow.

[A]

Ever?

[D]

No, I honestly think. Think my teeth have.

[C]

No.

[D]

Look.

[A]

I literally bit my lip.

[D]

Look, guys, do you think these are gonna do anything?

[A]

Oh, my God.

[C]

I can't even chew through steak.

[B]

Do you want to pretend like you're puking after a night out? Let's hold your hair. Jenna looks like a woman's barber in a prison. Jenna doing hair on D block.

[A]

Damn, that is me.

[B]

Yo, you gotta put money in my commissary for that.

[A]

And by my commissary. That was crazy. She's winning already.

[B]

Oh, my God. Dude, you're, like, making out with orange. You're, like, intimately getting in there. Holy. Oh, my God. Yeah. One, one, one.

[A]

She just goes all the way to the.

[B]

Holy. Oh, my God. This is crazy. This is crazy.

[C]

She's so crazy.

[A]

Who are you?

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

This is amazing. You're a sick. Wait, I was afraid to do what you were doing, which is to go to the. The bottom. Wait, remember?

[C]

Does everyone remember my teeth aren't sharp?

[A]

Kyla, literally just. She's a free diver. She just free dove to the bottom of that bucket.

[D]

No, you just have to go deep.

[A]

Enough so that you can get to.

[D]

The bottom and then bite down.

[A]

I was afraid to go deep, honestly.

[C]

I know. We need some f. Shampoo.

[A]

F. Ocean Club.

[D]

If you want to learn how to free dive.

[A]

EB Ocean Club.

[B]

Wait, hold on, hold on. There's two floor arms. Can you wipe these off?

[A]

Kalila, that was.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

That was incredible. And I would like to go again now.

[B]

Can I say, at first it looked like, you know, when a dog tries to get a tennis ball in the water and the depth perception's off. You put your head in and then you went, djang. Got it. I was like, oh, my God, this is crazy, Kyla.

[A]

I was so scared to go deep. Wow, you're so brave.

[D]

I think you can, though, because you're a good diver. You just didn't think that.

[A]

No, I didn't want my ears to go in the water.

[B]

Oh, I don't want my ears to go in because I'm susceptible to ear infections.

[D]

You are?

[B]

Yes.

[D]

Don't do it. Well, no, your ears don't. Did my ears get wet? I don't think so.

[B]

Okay, Am I up?

[C]

Well, I'm obviously not going.

[B]

Oh, my God. What did I sign up for? I'm in a dress, sucking orange cocks in a fucking bucket. Just like. Oh, God. I'm trying.

[D]

Go deep.

[B]

Deep.

[D]

Pin to orange and bite.

[B]

Let me tell you, honey, you gotta tell me twice, okay? Because all I know how to do is go deep.

[C]

Will you do my hair next, misses?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

I'm gonna get water everywhere. Do you have a towel? No.

[D]

I think we need a towel.

[A]

A towel.

[B]

Do you have a towel? I feel bad. I've never done anything like this before. Like bobbing for apples or.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Are you okay in the water?

[B]

I'm a terrible swimmer.

[D]

This isn't gonna go well for you.

[A]

Just make sure you don't inhale through your nose.

[D]

Oh, look, try your best. But then also, who gives a.

[B]

Okay, you're right, you're right.

[A]

Should I try again?

[C]

Oh, she can't be stopped.

[B]

Yeah, go for it.

[C]

For me.

[D]

I think four.

[C]

I'll actually drown.

[A]

Yeah, Esther would.

[D]

Okay, here, I'll put this away.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Watch your bow, honey.

[B]

Oh, no. Everyone's gonna get a front row seat to my bald spot. Do you guys have a yamaka?

[A]

You're wearing one.

[B]

What do I do?

[C]

Just go three.

[B]

Oh, God, I'm so nervous.

[C]

One.

[B]

Baba Delilah. How'd you do this?

[A]

You have to go all the way down deep.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[C]

You do not.

[D]

Don't. Don't dip your ears if you have ear infections.

[A]

I'm not going out.

[B]

It's in my ear. Sorry, sorry. I'm like a dog. It's getting my ear collapsed.

[A]

Just don't do it anymore.

[D]

Okay, we're done, we're done, we're done. Good attempt, Ian.

[B]

No, that was horrible. I'm sorry. Oh, did I get you wet?

[A]

You got the whole studio wet. Look at the chair.

[B]

I'm sorry. Look at the Chair. Look at the chair. Dude, that was like Vietnam. Vietnam. I don't understand how you did that.

[A]

You're a psycho, dude.

[B]

How did you do that? It was crazy. I have to try again.

[A]

This is literally how I felt. I'm like, here, here.

[D]

I gotta show you how. Guys, can I show you? Proper strategy.

[C]

Oh, my God. Look at her. She's in her glory.

[B]

Look at her.

[C]

Oh, no.

[B]

Can I show you?

[A]

Do we have another bucket?

[B]

Do we have another bucket? Another studio. This isn't a towel. It's a blanket. There's dog hair everywhere.

[C]

My seat is covered. He's going out of my cake.

[B]

I'm gonna have to change my dress. Oh, God, the wet hair. My hair's wet.

[D]

Okay, so you gotta go push all the way.

[A]

I get. I know the tactic. I'm just scared that my ears are gonna get water.

[D]

But then you also need to just stand up and so you can. Can push all the way down.

[B]

Dude, I did that.

[C]

She's disgusting.

[A]

See, it's going in her ears. It's going.

[B]

Dude, let me tell you.

[C]

Oh, wait, I didn't.

[B]

If you were my girl, I would hunt and fish too.

[C]

Wait, I'm gonna do it.

[A]

It's going in your ears.

[C]

Oh, my God. What's she doing? This is sick. Oh, my God.

[B]

Come on. I feel like I'm, like, using a sled dog right now. You can do it.

[A]

Damn. There's so many germs in that bucket.

[B]

Come on. Under your jaw like a snake.

[C]

She won't stop.

[A]

She literally will.

[B]

The noise she makes before she goes in is haunting. It's like this.

[D]

Let me just get all of them.

[A]

Yo, she's a professional diver.

[C]

This is crazy.

[A]

You've seen it here. Oh, my God. My watch says loud environment. The sound levels hit 90 decibels.

[B]

This is crazy. Watch it, little head. She's pulling it with her tongue. What is happening?

[C]

She's, like, turning into something different.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

We're like watching an animorph in real life. Yeah.

[A]

You did it, guys. Do you see how calm we get?

[C]

The paper towel.

[B]

You won. You won.

[A]

There were no other contestants. The contest had finished.

[B]

Jenna kind of did it. I acted like a poodle.

[D]

Can I just say. Can I tell you why it means so much to me?

[C]

Oh, no.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[D]

I haven't been out the house in so long. I've been like, this is an event. My baby has a sleep regression, and I haven't slept in two and a half weeks. And so, like, I haven't gone to the Gym. I haven't gone for coffee, haven't gone on a date, haven't gone to work out. Like, just nothing. This is like, the only.

[A]

This is an event out of.

[D]

Yeah, this is an event. So thank you so much for.

[A]

And this is like letting me die for you guys. You guys somehow made it so that Kalila could do her favorite thing. Make me a dive dude.

[B]

I have to say, too, for myself, if I can get serious. It's been like, forever since I've had a blanket covered in dog hair used as a towel. And I'm just so happy. It was just so nice. I can't get white hair off me. I just really appreciate it, guys.

[A]

It really feels like your childhood, huh?

[B]

I have to be a scientist in an hour on an audition.

[C]

I am exhausted.

[A]

Esther worked really hard there.

[C]

I'm about to pass out.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Can you unzip me?

[C]

The evolution of Kalila competing is so funny. It's like, I could never do this. Then does it and is like. Do you guys want me to show you how I did it?

[A]

I'll show you again if you'd like. Just hold on. But honestly, I will say that watching you do that is like watching you dive. Like, you become such a calm person when you dive.

[D]

Yeah, it's true. No one else. I think it's like water. Water really, like, it triggers my mammalian. Yeah, my. My malian, like, dive reflex that slows my heart rate down. When you submerge your face in water.

[A]

Like that, especially cooler, cold water, she goes.

[B]

I could hear it. I could hear it.

[A]

And before you go, you go like, yeah, she does.

[B]

Yeah, it was wild.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

You gotta hold your breath.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, you know how to do it. You were amazing.

[C]

Will you be my protector?

[D]

I'll be protect you.

[A]

I'll be protect you.

[D]

I have two brain cells left.

[B]

That's the only reason I thought you were Harry carrying yourself in front of us because you just went down. You weren't coming up. I was like, should I pull your head up? What is happening?

[A]

Lila can hold her breath for a long time. Yeah, she. When I say she's a diver, I really mean it. Like, she will go all the way down and find those holes.

[D]

I'll find your butt. I'll find your bloated dead body.

[B]

Thank you.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Wait, how long can you hold your breath for?

[D]

Like, at least on land, probably same as you guys.

[A]

No, in their water, you be holding it for like a minute.

[D]

Like a minute and a half way.

[A]

Yes. I'm telling you how do you hold.

[B]

It longer underwater than in the. On. On. Upstairs is longer. Longer upstairs?

[D]

Yeah. Upstairs is going to be three minute mark. So can you. So can you. So can you. Everyone can do it.

[B]

I smoke two packs a day, but if you. I'm out of breath going to the bathroom.

[D]

One of the best divers I know is a smoker.

[B]

Really? Oh, that makes me feel good.

[A]

Yeah. Okay, so we're playing charades, and is.

[D]

This, what, like Halloween theme or horror movies?

[A]

Okay, I don't know any horror movies, so I should definitely be acting out.

[D]

Well, we're all gonna act out.

[B]

When have you ever not acted out?

[A]

Okay, now where am I acting out? Over here, Wherever.

[C]

You're a little hard.

[A]

So it's four words. I'm doing it wrong already.

[C]

Are you allowed to speak?

[D]

Not speaking.

[A]

Uhhuh.

[B]

Okay, four words. The. The.

[A]

We know it's a movie.

[D]

We know.

[A]

It's trying to be proper. Okay, go.

[B]

Go.

[D]

Proper.

[C]

You're talking.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Do you know what that means?

[B]

Two piece.

[A]

Second word.

[D]

Oh, no.

[C]

You suck.

[A]

Oh, how do you get the person to know?

[D]

Just go.

[A]

Okay. Second word.

[B]

No. What?

[A]

Dancing cowboy.

[B]

Square. Square.

[D]

Dancing cowboy. Bebop. Okay, go ahead.

[C]

Oh. Chainsaw Massacre.

[B]

The Lawnmower Man. Yeah.

[C]

But you could have done that all without saying the words.

[A]

That's not fun. But you're right.

[B]

Oh, okay. Okay. Ready?

[C]

Psycho.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

I didn't even get to the ring. Ring. Ring. How'd you know that? That was wild. Oh, my God.

[A]

This is next level.

[D]

Oh, this one's a little bit tricky.

[B]

Esther just has all savant of horror movies over here.

[A]

Every horror movie is in her head. She's going, okay.

[C]

It.

[A]

Signs.

[B]

I know what you did last summer.

[A]

I see dead people.

[C]

The screen. Ring.

[B]

The. The seven. The Scare. The. The. The Conjuring. Amityville Horror. A werewolf in London. Tiny baby.

[A]

Baby.

[B]

Baby pointer.

[C]

Oh, I know what it is.

[B]

Baby watcher.

[D]

Is it Poulter?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

I was like Rosemary's Baby.

[C]

Close.

[B]

I mean, I said the pointer.

[D]

You're so close with the Amityville. I was, like, adjacent.

[A]

I've never even seen Poltergeist.

[D]

Poltergeist.

[A]

Oh, I don't even know how to spell that.

[B]

If you're watching at home. Yes, I did just touch the back of my ear and smell it. I'm sorry.

[D]

Very normal.

[A]

Very normal.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

I hope you smell it.

[A]

Any piercing I have in my ear. Wow. Like what? Who's not smelling it?

[D]

No one's gonna get it now because Esther's.

[C]

This is so hard. I suck at this.

[A]

Part.

[B]

You want to hand it off to Jenna and then disqualify yourself. We can do that.

[D]

Addition.

[A]

Cutting feet.

[B]

Saw.

[A]

So that was a good guess. Washing. Cleaning blood. Cleaning.

[D]

Hostel.

[B]

Human. Centipede.

[D]

I dack that out differently.

[A]

Cinderella.

[D]

Scrubbing the shoe. Scrubbing. Cleaning toes.

[A]

Shoes.

[D]

Shoes.

[A]

Shoes.

[B]

The shoemaker.

[D]

Shoemaker.

[B]

The Shining. Here's Ian. Yeah. Let's go again.

[A]

See, with me. I have to know the exact words. Cause I don't know.

[B]

We don't care. Just go.

[A]

Oh, it's my turn again.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

Oh, no.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

Oh. Exorcist.

[B]

Yeah. Yes. Wow. Oh, my God. What?

[A]

I'm not gonna get it. Explosion.

[D]

A whale. Moby Dick.

[A]

Whale.

[D]

Whale watcher. Whale hunter. Whale.

[A]

Whale. Killer. Robinson. Jumper.

[D]

Crusoe.

[A]

Singer. Opera. Whale opera.

[D]

The whale. The Wailing.

[C]

The Wailing.

[B]

I love that movie. I don't know what that is.

[D]

The Wailing is one of my favorite Korean horror movies.

[A]

I've never even heard of that movie.

[D]

The Wailing is. It's hard to say what it's about. And the ending is also very ambiguous, but it's basically okay.

[A]

Next one.

[D]

Yeah. Exactly. Exactly. Very good. Very good.

[A]

You were turning into me.

[D]

Okay, here we go. Oh, you guys aren't going to get this.

[B]

Don't underestimate that one.

[A]

This dead.

[D]

I have to give one clue since. Since we are. Lack of time.

[A]

Your tits look so good, it's hard for me to focus.

[D]

It's not an American movie.

[C]

Parasite.

[B]

That's not a horror movie.

[A]

No.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay. Tr. Dead people. Sleeping.

[B]

Meat. Train.

[A]

Souls. Angels. The dead. Zombies.

[B]

The dead.

[A]

Meat.

[B]

Train.

[A]

Zombie. Train. The train. Zombie.

[B]

Train. Training. Night of the Living. Zombie.

[A]

Okay, second word. Zombie.

[B]

Train.

[A]

Train. Second word. Two words.

[B]

Trained.

[A]

Second word.

[B]

No.

[C]

Zombie Training Day.

[D]

Train to Busan.

[B]

What is that?

[D]

Train to Busan. Is the.

[B]

Why didn't you go and then put that on me?

[A]

See, I need the words. Exactly. I need the word.

[D]

But it's basically zombies with a train in Korea. Yeah. It's a really good movie.

[A]

Okay. Esther.

[C]

Oh, this is easy.

[B]

Dude. I'm glad.

[A]

We all got it.

[B]

I'm so happy.

[A]

Oh, okay. This is very easy.

[D]

Saw.

[A]

Oh, okay. Okay.

[B]

That's fine.

[D]

I think all of us did.

[B]

We all did.

[A]

You all did. Esther also said it very quietly.

[B]

Saw again. Okay. This is the name of the movie.

[A]

Tv. What? Facts. Princess. Oh, Pearl.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

Wow.

[D]

Oh, Jenna.

[B]

Are we not having fun?

[A]

We are.

[B]

What happened?

[A]

I'm just astonished that I got it.

[D]

Yeah, I'm astonished that she got it.

[A]

You're saying shock.

[B]

Oh, you knew.

[A]

Nailed it.

[D]

This one's hard.

[B]

Try, try.

[D]

I don't even know if. If I. If I'm doing this correctly.

[B]

The ring. The ring.

[A]

The ring, too.

[C]

Ringu.

[A]

Ringo star, the orphan act. Something else.

[D]

Look, listen, there's another movie with this.

[A]

Oh, is it the grass?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

I only know that because I saw not the one that you picked, but earlier I saw that that was one of them.

[D]

Oh, I see.

[B]

Well, that's how Little Magician revealed her tricks.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I didn't know that that's what you picked, though.

[B]

Man. I'm so.

[A]

I would have just acted out me holding a grudge.

[C]

How do you act that out?

[B]

Yeah. Oh, I would call that a fantasy novel called Finally Quiet.

[D]

I think we have two more.

[C]

Oh.

[A]

The ring. Yeah.

[B]

All right, Jenny, you're up. Last one.

[C]

I could see the thing, so I won't play.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Oh, this is funny. It's funny to see. Is it.

[A]

Is it this one? Hold on.

[B]

I need Nightmare on Elm Street.

[A]

No, wait. I need. I need something. Okay, Okay. I think it's this one. I'm not sure.

[B]

The movie with the black people. Get out.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Finally.

[D]

So good.

[C]

That was a good clue. I would not.

[B]

That was great.

[D]

That was. It was Catherine Keener's.

[A]

Originally. I was just gonna be like, get out. Or I was gonna leave.

[B]

Jenna tied at four each.

[D]

Wow. I think you and I lost Ian.

[B]

Three, and Kalila three. We're in good company.

[A]

But also, Esther won because the only reason that I got the grudge is because earlier I saw that it was one of the options.

[B]

Oh, and Esther also sat out because she saw one. So those are two more.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

So technically three, three, two.

[A]

But I got four, so that would have been. I have three. Why do you think?

[B]

Three, Three, three, five.

[C]

I'm gonna give all my points to Kalila because I'm scared.

[A]

Smart woman.

[D]

Aren't you relieved that I can at least save you now? You know, like, I've proven my skills. Yeah.

[C]

You know, that was. That was intense for me.

[D]

Oh, God.

[A]

That was intense for me.

[B]

Wait.

[D]

Watch tomorrow with a tattoo of an orange. You guys, thank you so much for tuning in.

[C]

I'm exhausted today. I did a lot. Thank you, Ian. Thank you for being here.

[B]

Thank you for having me, guys. I always love being here. You guys are the best.

[C]

Are you on tour?

[B]

What's going on? Yes. Emfinance.com for tickets. I'm gonna be everywhere. I'm on the road right now till February, December 31. If you're in San Diego, I got two shows. Spend New Year's Eve and my birthday with me in San Diego, American Comedy Company and subscribe to my YouTube.com ianfinancecomedy. That's where my travel show is. Ian do an odd guy doing odd jobs and I animals69 on Instagram. So check it out.

[A]

What's your Instagram?

[B]

I animal69. And you are?

[A]

Jenna Jimenez.

[B]

I thought you were Genimal.

[A]

Oh, that's my nickname.

[B]

Oh, my nickname is I animal or animal.

[A]

Yeah, I forgot about it too until last night.

[C]

Really?

[A]

I forgot.

[B]

And I've been begging Jenna to do a a set on one of my gigs.

[A]

I want to do it so badly. You have no idea. To be able to be on stage.

[B]

With you, be fun.

[A]

I should just make you come on stage with me.

[B]

You're making me come right now.

[A]

You heard it here, folks.

[B]

I've got a problem.

[D]

We'll see you guys.

[B]

You guys are the best. Thanks for always giving me. Treat me like family. I appreciate it.

[A]

You are family.

[C]

We'll see you next week with a brand new episode.

[A]

Yeah, you're a repeat defender here.

[B]

You too.