Trash Tuesday w/ Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn

Episode Title: "We Drown IAN FIDANCE"

Date: October 7, 2025

Guest: Ian Fidance (comedian, podcaster)

Episode Overview

This spirited, chaotic, and heartfelt episode of Trash Tuesday features comedian Ian Fidance joining hosts Khalyla Kuhn and Esther Povitsky (plus Jenna Jimenez) for a Halloween-adjacent, trauma-unpacking, and laugh-packed hang. The episode weaves together signature nonsense—like a group bobbing-for-oranges challenge and Halloween movie charades—with surprisingly deep conversations about bodily mishaps, family quirks, relationships, and cannibalism hypotheticals. All with the Trash Tuesday crew’s characteristic raw honesty, self-deprecating humor, and family-like camaraderie.

Key Discussion Points & Highlights

1. Opening Antics and Costume Chaos

[02:00–05:30]

• The gang discusses Halloween costumes. Jenna dresses as Esther, leading to playful ribbing and impressions of Esther’s “waddle.”
• Khalyla’s under the weather due to a bloody nose, drawing concern and banter about everyone’s bodily ailments ("I woke up at 4am with a bloody nose and I was up for hours." – Khalyla, 02:11).
• Jokes about wearing each other’s clothes while actively bleeding sets an irreverent, TMI tone:
  • Quote: “I’ll drink your blood, all of you, if it will make me bleed.” – Jenna (02:56)
  • Quote: “My panties are more high rise than your pants.” – Jenna (03:40)

2. Tennis, Competition, and Energy

[05:30–07:10]

• Ian shares about picking up tennis, getting off meds, and newfound energy. Friendly tennis rivalry stories ensue.

3. Cannibalism, The Andes Crash, and Moral Questions

[07:10–13:00]

• The "who would you eat first if stranded" debate gets a Trash Tuesday deep-dive, drawing from movies Alive and The Snow Society, and real-life Andes crash.
• Ian is predictably filthy:
  • Quote: "I’d eat Kalila and start at the pussy. That’s right." – Ian (07:43)
• They explore the ethics and rituals of cannibalism through anthropological anecdotes (the South Pacific “kuru” disease).
  • Quote: “Once upon a time, as a funeral ritual...they would eat the brains of the deceased. And there was this bacterial, like, brain...that would then acquire... encephalitis... The disease was called like, kuru or something like that. It is kuru, right?” – Jenna (09:39)
  • Esther and Khalyla reveal they'd be comfortable with being eaten after death, as a final act of friendship.
  • Butchering technique gets discussed—Jenna’s partner Aloha is apparently pro-level.

4. Family, Money, and Parental Dynamics

[14:00–17:00]

• Jenna’s stepdad still gives her $150 cash for birthdays ("I think it’s just so cute, though, that I’m 40 and no matter what, like, he still puts money in my birthday card." – Jenna, 15:11).
• Esther’s “special gum” story: growing up, her dad would hide money for her as “gum” when her parents traveled ("So he started leaving me money there. And for, like, 15 years, my mom didn’t know what he was talking about. Special gum. She thought it was gum." – Esther, 16:08).
• Khalyla admits she can’t say no to her kid or dog—“no backbone” is a recurring comedic theme.

5. Water Brands and The "Arsenic Allegations"

[18:08–19:13]

• Khalyla brings up the trending claim that Mountain Valley water contains arsenic, all based on a TikTok scientist:
  • Quote: “Some scientist on TikTok actually did a breakdown… They did, like, independent testing, but still.” – Jenna (18:31)
  • It’s all tongue-in-cheek panic and further evidence the show thrives on internet nonsense.

6. Ian’s Love Life Updates (or Not)

[19:13–22:22]

• Ian details the recent end of a bi-coastal relationship with an adult film star, highlighting the paradox between her jealousy (“I get jealous if I see a girl, like, commenting on your things. And I was like, wow, you are a porn star and you just filmed a gangbang, but that’s okay.” – Ian, 19:44).
• He’s both resigned ("It’s just not tenable.") and introspective about his own dating needs.
  • Discusses the fantasy of a partner willing to tour with him constantly.
  • Has, by necessity, gotten better at breaking things off honestly—though it’s exhausting.
  • Quote: "I might just become like, asexual and kiss my cats and that’s it. Like, I don’t know. It’s just, I. I don’t know if it’s, it’s. It’s worth trying anymore because it’s so, like, such a defective existence, you know?" – Ian (21:43)

7. Relationship Red Flags and Cutting Ties

[22:22–24:13]

• Jenna shares a cautionary tale about a friend's relationship with a "cokehead," extolling the power of ghosting versus long-winded explanations for why the breakup is happening.
  • Quote: “You treat me a certain way. You have zero access to me without explanation.… She’s like, he will change if I explain myself. I’m like, no, he will not change if you explain it.” – Jenna (23:34)

8. Bobbing for Oranges – A Chaotic Group Challenge

[24:24–37:27]

• In celebration of the season, the group tackles "bobbing for oranges" (apples swapped out due to allergies).
  • Hilarity ensues: splashed water everywhere, soaked costumes, and much discussion about who can go “deep” (and several sexual innuendos).
  • Quote: “I've never seen someone standing waterboard themselves. This is wild. It looks like a Hungry Hungry Hippo with no teeth.” – Ian (27:21)
  • Khalyla emerges as the clear bobbing champion, invoking her real-life free diving skills—"You just have to go deep enough so that you can get to the bottom and then bite down." (29:44)
  • Jenna's reaction: “Dude, you’re, like, making out with orange. You’re, like, intimately getting in there. Holy– Oh my god.… You’re a sick [person].” (28:53)
  • Post-game reflection:
    • Quote: “This is like, the only event out of the house…My baby has a sleep regression, and I haven’t slept in two and a half weeks…. This is an event!” – Jenna (35:25)
    • Quote: “It’s been like, forever since I’ve had a blanket covered in dog hair used as a towel… it was just so nice.” – Ian (35:59)
  • Khalyla as serene diver: “Water really, like, triggers my mammalian… dive reflex, slows my heart rate down.” (36:45)
  • Running joke: various items now soaked, dog hair everywhere, everyone exhausted.

9. Halloween Horror Movie Charades

[38:30–46:55]

• The episode closes with a rapid-fire game of Halloween/ horror-themed charades.
  • Highlights: Esther’s horror movie nerd prowess, creative “acting out” of classics (Chainsaw Massacre, Psycho, Poltergeist, Train to Busan, Get Out), and the show’s signature playful chaos.
  • Quote: "If you’re watching at home. Yes, I did just touch the back of my ear and smell it. I’m sorry. Very normal." – Ian (40:42)
  • Ian gets points for inappropriate guesses; the friendly competition and side commentary keep the energy high.

10. Closing Banter

[47:17–48:32]

• Ian plugs his tour and travel show: "ianfinance.com for tickets…I’m on the road right now till February… Ian do an odd guy doing odd jobs."
• Hosts reflect on family vibes: “Thanks for always treating me like family.” – Ian (48:22)
• Final tease: potential live set with Jenna joining Ian on stage.

Notable Quotes & Moments

• “I’ll drink your blood, all of you, if it will make me bleed.”
  – Jenna (02:56)

• “I’d eat Kalila and start at the pussy. That’s right.”
  – Ian (07:43)

• “My stepdad still gives me $150 for my birthday.”
  – Jenna (15:11)

• “Once upon a time, as a funeral ritual…they would eat the brains of the deceased. The disease was called kuru.”
  – Jenna (09:39)

• “I might just become like, asexual and kiss my cats and that’s it. …It’s just, I…I don’t know if it’s worth trying anymore because it’s so, like, such a defective existence.”
  – Ian (21:43)

• "Look at the chair. Look at the chair. Dude, that was like Vietnam. I don’t understand how you did that."
  – Ian (32:41)

• “Water really, like, triggers my mammalian... dive reflex that slows my heart rate down.”
  – Khalyla (36:45)

• “If you’re watching at home. Yes, I did just touch the back of my ear and smell it. I’m sorry. Very normal.”
  – Ian (40:42)

Episode Timeline & Timestamps (MM:SS)

• 00:00–05:30 – Halloween costumes, physical complaints, fitting insults
• 05:30–07:10 – Tennis, competitive antics
• 07:10–13:00 – Cannibalism, Andes crash, eating after death
• 14:00–17:00 – Family, special gum, birthday money stories
• 17:00–19:13 – Parenting, saying no, dog and kid discipline
• 18:08–19:13 – Water brands and fake arsenic panic
• 19:13–22:22 – Ian’s breakup and thoughts on love
• 22:22–24:13 – Why ghosting > explaining yourself (relationship advice)
• 24:24–37:27 – Bobbing for oranges, diving, orange-induced chaos
• 38:30–46:55 – Horror movie charades: group laughs and game night energy
• 47:17–end – Tour plugs, live set discussions, family vibes

Tone & Language

• Tone: Irreverent, candid, affectionately teasing
• Language: Explicit, self-revealing, “kitchen table” honesty

For the Trash Tuesday “Sluggies”:

This episode is a prime example of unfiltered, relatable comedy chaos—fitting for Halloween season and for fans who crave both wild games and quirky, real-life confessions. It’s equal parts silly, gross, and sweet, reminding listeners why the Trash Tuesday crew (and all their “repeat defenders”) feel more like family than just podcast hosts.