We Made Carmen Christopher a Viral Sensation

Summary

Trash Tuesday: "We Made Carmen Christopher a Viral Sensation"

Hosts: Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn
Guests: Carmen Christopher, Caroline Goldfarb, Dave
Release Date: June 16, 2026

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Episode Overview

This vibrant and chaotic installment of Trash Tuesday features comedian Carmen Christopher and recurring favorite Caroline Goldfarb. The group explores everything from comedy club etiquette and social media anxiety, to Chicago food obsessions and family trauma. Carmen becomes the focus of the group’s mission to make him “a viral sensation,” giving way to hilarious TikTok experiments and passionate debates about what’s truly cringe on the internet. There are repeated digressions into Chicago nostalgia, motherhood, and why hugging is weird, all suffused with Trash Tuesday’s signature irreverence.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Introductions, Hugging, and Emotional Walls

• The crew discusses the awkwardness of hugs, specifically side hugs versus full hugs, and whether touch signals intimacy, boundaries, or just social convention.
• Memorable Moment: The recurring, escalating bit about who gets a hug leads to laugh-out-loud lines about childhood trauma and emotional coldness—
  • Dave: “I think hugs are so intimate and sexual.” (01:50)
  • Carmen: “I hug pretty asexual… I barely touched you.” (02:01)
• Caroline admits deteriorating interest in hugging close friends ("Less and less wanting to touch you as the years pass" - 02:36).
• The group reflects on whether they were hugged as kids, segueing into what their family dynamics say about them as adults (03:11–04:13).

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2. Comedians, Pregnancy & Taboos about Breastfeeding

• Caroline, 34 weeks pregnant, is asked about the weird social/sexual undercurrents around pregnancy and breastfeeding—prompting confessions about posting breastfeeding content and the public's reaction.
• Notable Quotes:
  • “Have you tried Esther’s breast milk?” (08:08, Caroline)
  • “I refuse to try it. I’m very creeped out.” (08:12, Dave)
  • Carmen compares drinking direct-from-the-cow milk in Japan to breast milk, sparking jokes about Tom Green and comedic limits (08:41-09:02).

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3. Social Media Anxieties & The Viral TikTok Dilemma

• Carmen is “coached” by the group to embrace TikTok and address his resistance to social media. They make a TikTok in real time, riffing about eating fruit and saying “Work, mama!”
• The playful, meta commentary on what goes viral and what doesn’t becomes a running joke.
  • “Can we go viral right now?” (30:17, Carmen)
  • “Number one rule: do not say ‘going viral’.” (30:23, Carmen)
  • “Work, mama.” (30:36 and 30:39, Carmen, sardonically adopting the phrase)
• Carmen’s follower count becomes the subject of mockery and semi-sincere encouragement, with the group egging him on to post more clips (“All you have to do is talk into the camera and just say whatever and post every day and you will have 300,000 [followers]” - 31:48, Caroline).

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4. Motherhood, Family Faves, & Intergenerational Trauma

• The group shares their relationships with their moms, who's the favorite child, and the impact of being firstborn (or youngest).
• Carmen reflects on his mom’s unwavering support—even when his brother got into serious trouble as a teen:
  • “My mom, straight up, will do anything for any one of her children…she never quit on him.” (16:00, Carmen)
• Caroline shares her mom’s “advice” about motherhood:
  • “Nothing in this world will age you like your first child. … You will look in the mirror and you won’t even recognize yourself.” (24:06, Caroline, quoting her mom)
• Discussion of saying “I love you” and negotiating emotional openness in various families (17:19–17:43).

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5. Chicago Nostalgia and Food Rants

• The discussion devolves into rave reviews and impassioned arguments about Chicago restaurants, pizza, hot dog stands, and chain restaurant culture.
  • Carmen: “The thing about Chicago that’s great is… you can go to a random ass suburb and it’s the best sandwich you’ve ever had.” (38:33)
  • Shout-outs to Major Domo, Quarter Sheets, Poochie’s, Herm’s, Superdawg, Portillo’s, Johnny’s, and Devil Dogs (various, 20:34–41:01)
  • The team roast each other for loving ambiance over actual food ("But it's about the martinis and the laughs." – 23:46, Carmen; "I hate when people like ambiance over food." – 23:43, Dave)
• Comedic aside: “Sounds so much like vagina, but the whole cast of The Bear hangs out there.” (41:23, Caroline, about Viaggio’s restaurant)

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6. Chicago & Midwestern Identity Debates

• They reflect on feeling exotic or invisible dating in Chicago vs. Los Angeles and the different “types” each city values.
  • “I feel like women are more interested in me in LA and New York and not in Chicago because you’re famous. But Chicago people don’t give a shit about artists, they want like finance.” (46:22, Carmen)
  • Caroline: “When I go to Chicago, I’m like exotic for them… I get way more male attention in Chicago.” (45:59)
• Extended riff on Skokie, Illinois, and its peculiar reputation (43:36–44:07)

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7. Podcasting, Career Paths & Not Going ‘Gary Vee’

• Carmen resists becoming an “internet comedian,” wanting to save energy for writing, acting, and stand-up.
  • “My commitment right now is writing, acting, stand up... if I do another thing that takes from those things... I want to do.” (11:37, Carmen)
  • He acknowledges TikTok and social media are now part of the comedy hustle, but is wary of burning out or "using up" the best material.

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8. Quickfire: The Bear, Their Projects, and Name-Dropping

• Carmen reveals he’s in The Bear, to surprise from the group ("You know I'm in The Bear, right?" – 41:31, Carmen).
• He plugs his upcoming Hulu movie, Never Change, written by John Reynolds, about a group of 35-year-olds finishing high school:
  • “It’s just stupid and funny… If you're into dumb, goofy, like—” (48:25, Carmen)
• Caroline shouts out her own show, the business-centric “Plugin Bro,” adding to the inside-joke-laden, name-droppy tone of the whole session (49:46).
• Playful bickering about who gets to promote their gigs and who really uses their social platforms effectively.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Carmen, on hugging: “I hug pretty asexual. I barely touched you.” (02:01)
• Caroline, on social media success: “You go viral all the time!” (29:06)
• Dave, on Chicago romantic prospects: “When I lived in Chicago, I was like, I will never meet someone. I will never... I was like, I'm going to die alone.” (46:48)
• Caroline, on motherhood advice: “Nothing in this world will age you like your first child.” (24:06)
• Carmen, on Chicago food: “When I moved from Chicago and I realized there wasn’t Italian beefs everywhere in the country my mind was blown.” (38:33)
• Running gag: “Work mama!” (first used 20:36, then meme-ified at 30:36 and 31:33)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 01:50–04:13: Hugging, intimacy, and family childhoods
• 06:32–09:08: Breastfeeding, pregnancy, and bodily taboos
• 19:19–22:32: "Banana break" and comedic food bits
• 24:05–24:39: Caroline's mom's blunt motherhood "pep talk"
• 30:17–31:33: TikTok experiment, “work mama”, and attempts to go viral
• 38:33–41:05: Chicago food, deep dish pizza, hot dogs, and Italian beefs
• 41:31–42:44: Carmen's role on The Bear and Chicago restaurant culture
• 48:05–49:05: Promoting Never Change, movie synopsis and cast
• 49:46–50:44: Caroline’s “Plugin Bro” business show mention

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Episode Tone & Unique Flavor

The conversation is full of dark asides, self-deprecating humor, zany tangents, and vulnerable admissions, but always grounded in mutual affection and relentless teasing. Banter comes rapid-fire, pop culture and Midwest references abound, and the group's knack for drawing comedy from discomfort is on full display. The meta-commentary on internet stardom, content creation anxiety, and the generational shift in what’s considered “cool” or “authentic” is woven throughout with sly sarcasm.

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For Listeners Who Missed It

If you tune in, expect to laugh, cringe, and nod in recognition as the hosts and guests lay bare the realities of modern comedy hustle, millennial parenting, and their shared roots in Chicago. You’ll come away with viral catchphrases, intense arguments about the best sandwich, and a refreshed appreciation for side hugs and self-doubt. And don’t forget: “Work, mama!”

Transcript

[Carmen Christopher]

I started Ornod in 2013 and we make bike apparel. The best part of Shopify for me is our ability to run the business as essentially non technical people. We're able to admin everything on the back end, front end and sell things online easily. If Shopify were a bike accessory, I think it would actually be the bicycle. It's the thing that you do the thing on. We run the business on Shopify so start your free trial on shopify.com this

[Podcast Sponsor Announcer]

podcast is sponsored by Talkspace.

[Esther Povitsky]

Last year, I went through many different life changes. I needed to take a pause and examine how I was feeling in the inside to better show up for the ones who need me to be my best version of myself.

[Podcast Sponsor Announcer]

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[Esther Povitsky]

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[Podcast Sponsor Announcer]

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[Dave]

[e-mail] his restaurant that he owns.

[Christopher]

What's it called?

[Dave]

Viaggio's.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Sounds so much like vagina, but the

[Dave]

whole cast of the Bear hangs out there.

[Christopher]

You know I'm in the Bear, right?

[Dave]

No, are you actually?

[Christopher]

You didn't know that?

[Caroline Goldfarb]

You're on the Bear. That's awesome, dude.

[Christopher]

I mean, I'm in like, congrats.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

That's huge.

[Dave]

I think hugs are so intimate and sexual.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

It depends on how.

[Christopher]

I think it's the most chill thing in the world.

[Dave]

But if you hug asexual, then everyone's like, you're a bad hugger. Because I hug like this.

[Christopher]

I hug pretty asexual.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Like a side hug.

[Christopher]

I do side hugs because then you

[Caroline Goldfarb]

kind of put off that you're normal and well adjusted.

[Christopher]

I'm a side hugger.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

You don't really have to get into your. Your psychosis. You know what I mean?

[Christopher]

Yeah. I'm not like squeezing the out of you. I barely touched you. I barely touched you. It's just like, hey, what's up?

[Dave]

I know, but what am I supposed

[Christopher]

to do just say hi from here?

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Dude, that's so weird.

[Christopher]

No, you. You have to touch somebody.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

What about the worst is when it's a really good friend? Like, Esther and I, we've known each other for, like, 10 years, so that's the worst when there's pressure to actually. Like, if two people should be able to hug, it should be us. Yeah, but I can't. Less and less wanting to touch you as the years pass. I can't explain.

[Christopher]

Wait, Esther, you can't hug her.

[Dave]

Well, right now I'm breastfeeding, so it's like the boobies are tender.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Nice one. Can she do a Throw that in there?

[Christopher]

Wait, so are you pissed that I touched you?

[Caroline Goldfarb]

What?

[Dave]

Am I pissed?

[Christopher]

Like, I did a side hug?

[Dave]

No, I'm never mad because I know it's my thing, and I, in fact, always feel so awkward and weird, like, I'm so rude and like, it makes people think I don't like them. But it's not like that.

[Christopher]

What is it?

[Dave]

I would love to hug. Why don't you add a different body?

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Like, if you touch your children.

[Christopher]

Oh, interesting.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Do you hug, Dave?

[Christopher]

Do you squeeze your babies?

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Were you hugged as a child?

[Dave]

We know that I wasn't.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Yeah.

[Dave]

No, my mother. An almond mom doesn't love.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

I also had issues with this, which is why I think I have issues.

[Dave]

Yeah. You don't seem touchy.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

No, I'm.

[Dave]

You're cold,

[Caroline Goldfarb]

aren't you? I have some issues with touching. I don't broadcast them. Like, if Carmen comes in for a hug, I'm gonna, you know, like.

[Carmen Christopher]

Yeah.

[Christopher]

You know what ruined Matt?

[Caroline Goldfarb]

We hugged. We hugged.

[Dave]

I'm gonna keep.

[Christopher]

Have we met?

[Dave]

Actually, nice to meet you. I'm Caroline.

[Christopher]

Nice to meet you. Wait, have we met?

[Caroline Goldfarb]

That's how you mean. I don't.

[Christopher]

Well, that's how we met. But I was like, I'm coming to do your podcast. I'm on this thing for, I guess, 90 minutes. We're slotted. I saw.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

I actually asked him if we could go a little longer, and your team said it was okay.

[Christopher]

My team wait four hours? Can we talk for a second? I gotta talk. Ellie is really sweet.

[Dave]

Somehow, against odds, we have an amazing team here.

[Christopher]

I gotta say something's really funny. This really made me laugh because she

[Caroline Goldfarb]

actually roasted you a little bit too.

[Christopher]

Well, basically, she was like, oh, I want to hear this. But basically, I like. I was like, hey, what's the address? And she says, I sent the address to your email, but it's like, that's really funny because I'm like, you could just respond with that. I mean, I got 15, 000 emails. I can't, like, you know what I mean? I don't know. I just thought it was like, I thought it was like a business. Like, it was very driving.

[Dave]

I'm so sorry.

[Christopher]

Oh, no, no, no. Oh, you're.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Makes sense.

[Christopher]

It makes sense.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Trying to kill a woman.

[Christopher]

Like, I don't know. Whatever. You're right and I'm wrong. Whatever.

[Dave]

No, I get that. I'm. I would be like, I want the address in my text.

[Christopher]

I want the address in my text.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

But then I would be such a you guys thing. Like, I hate grown adults that need to be treated like children.

[Dave]

Oh, you hate me secretly then.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

I hate you secretly. I totally.

[Christopher]

I don't need to be treated like a child.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Okay, What I just heard was that it was in your email. Cause I also, when I got in the car, I was like, I wonder what the address is. And for sure it would have been more convenient to open up my messages and see it at the top. But what I did was I opened up my email, searched.

[Christopher]

I have 4 billion emails.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Oh, now we're bragging about our email.

[Dave]

He's a billionaire of emails.

[Christopher]

Most popular boy in the world.

[Dave]

You're really successful. Let me introduce our guests. Today we have my soulmate, the person that I will be buried next to too against. I. I don't care how many laws I have to break. Caroline goldfarb. And she's 34 weeks pregnant.

[Christopher]

34. When are you due?

[Caroline Goldfarb]

July 1st.

[Esther Povitsky]

Wow.

[Christopher]

Congratulations.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Thank you. I feel that you really mean that.

[Dave]

I don't know. That's so weird though. Do comedians care about other people's pregnancies?

[Caroline Goldfarb]

I know. I feel like all comedians are secretly disgusted by like, happy bro.

[Christopher]

You know, I'm a person first.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Don't come at me as a comedian.

[Christopher]

Don't come at me as a comedian. I'm a normal ass guy who ended

[Dave]

up here for the first time, a guest who' trying to get he. I know him through. Through Dave, everyone's favorite guest. He was on English Teacher, the funniest show I've seen in 10 years. What else? You have a movie coming out on

[Christopher]

Hulu called Never change.

[Podcast Promo Announcer]

Never change.

[Christopher]

June 17th.

[Dave]

June 17th. And I think you're a very funny standup comedian.

[Christopher]

I can name my credits. Christopher Live from the Windy City is my special on YouTube. There's just a bunch of. Honestly, just like, go look me up.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Substack Tik Tok none of that I

[Christopher]

don't really do tik tok. I had somebody post for me for a little bit and it. I just, I can't do it.

[Dave]

It's very comedian of you.

[Christopher]

But I just, I don't have time for this. It's like you have to do everything now.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

No, you. No, you don't.

[Christopher]

It's, it's.

[Dave]

Why are you so busy with your billion?

[Caroline Goldfarb]

What's with the emails? Yeah, I just like Hillary Clinton over here.

[Christopher]

I don't delete my emails because I like to search if I need it.

[Dave]

How does it feel being this close to a pregnant woman? Do you feel like a sexual fetish coming out or do you feel normal?

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Okay.

[Christopher]

Literally felt normal.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Okay. Do you, Esther, I'm going to turn that back around on you.

[Christopher]

But that's funny that you say that because. Yeah. Wait, do you. Do you feel sexual around her?

[Dave]

No. But I have noticed lately. Hear me out. That. Because I've been posting a lot of breastfeeding content innocently, may I say innocently. And I've noticed like a few guys that I like acquaintancy with, you know, over the years, like are tuning in more.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Mark Marin's hitting that, like, oh, definitely not Mark Marin.

[Dave]

He's just my motherhood. But I'm like, oh, is this like a thing that I forgot that this is like sexual because I'm all like covered in my breast milk since stains.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

You do talk about the stains a lot. Has Dave tried your breast milk?

[Dave]

I refuse to try it. I'm very creeped out.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

You refuse to try?

[Dave]

Would you try. Would you.

[Christopher]

Would I try breast milk? Would you try Esther's wife? I wouldn't try yours. No offense. Dave's my boy. I'm not around. I don't play that. Nope, nope.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

No, we don't play that.

[Dave]

Would you try. Are you going to try yours?

[Caroline Goldfarb]

I'm going to try my own. I'm going to try my own. I am sort of grossed out by the way that people describe the taste of breast milk. They always have to talk about how sweet it is.

[Dave]

I know, it makes me disgusted.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Like regular milk, but sweet.

[Christopher]

I had some straight up milk straight from the te. Of a. Of a cow in Japan and that was awesome. And I kind of got a lactose thing. I get sick and I.

[Dave]

Were you breastfed from the cow?

[Christopher]

Well, no, they.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

You wouldn't do ester, but you'd suck it from the cow?

[Christopher]

I didn't suck it from the cow, but they had it like ready to go from the cow. I Wouldn't suck it from the cow.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

That means you're not Tom Green.

[Christopher]

Shout out. RIP Z Live.

[Dave]

Oh, my God.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

What? Hit out Tom Green.

[Christopher]

Tom Green.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

He's definitely.

[Christopher]

Remember Tom Green?

[Dave]

Wait, yeah, now everybody's trying to be

[Christopher]

Tom Green, but they're not really that good.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

So true. He's kind of like the prototype. Connor o'.

[Dave]

Malley.

[Thrive Cosmetics Announcer]

Kind of.

[Dave]

It's really hard for me when someone is, like, so clearly a genius. They top it all. They're like, someone like Tom Green and then you, like, check in. Now, where is, like, he's probably just like, has a podcast.

[Christopher]

I hope he's rich as. No, you know what? No, there's no way he's a podcast.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

How would he be rich as?

[Dave]

He's had a podcast for sure.

[Christopher]

Really?

[Dave]

And see, isn't that, like, almost the worst thing you could hear?

[Podcast Promo Announcer]

No.

[Christopher]

Well, it's funny because, like, I think about, like, you. Are you the permanent co host?

[Caroline Goldfarb]

No.

[Christopher]

Okay. You're a guest. We're both guests.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

We're guests.

[Christopher]

Oh, sick.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

We're guests in this.

[Dave]

She's my best friend.

[Christopher]

Okay.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Yeah.

[Christopher]

It feels like I've been here before. This is my first time hearing the podcast.

[Dave]

Yeah. Would you feel like when you're on a podcast, you have to know who's. Who's what role?

[Caroline Goldfarb]

He's trying to do a power ranking and, like.

[Christopher]

Yeah, well, no, I just like to know stuff.

[Dave]

Will you change the way you treat her now?

[Christopher]

No, absolutely not. I've been treating her nothing but awesome.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Yeah. He's been really kind to me. But you are in my house.

[Christopher]

I do think we're friends.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

No, I'm not.

[Christopher]

I could see us being friends. Like, not like super close, because we're both guys.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

No, I don't see that happening. Very friendly. Like.

[Christopher]

Yeah, like, if I saw you at the club or some, I'd be like, oh, what's up?

[Dave]

How are you?

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Oh, yeah, yeah. There's different.

[Thrive Cosmetics Announcer]

There you are.

[Christopher]

Okay, cool. There's a famous person. I gotta go. That would be you. That would be you. No, I'm just joking.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Christopher]

That's everybody in la. Everybody in la. I'm gonna flake.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Freak out when I see you at the club.

[Christopher]

Yo. And that's the thing about comedians, is we shut down the clubs.

[Dave]

Explain that.

[Christopher]

We don't go to clubs.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Have you ever actually been to a. I'm not talking about a comedy club. Like, a club.

[Christopher]

Of course.

[Dave]

They're awfully not.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Esther. They're so awful.

[Christopher]

Esther in the club would be hilarious.

[Dave]

You know the one time I went, some, like, pretty girl came up to me, tapped me on the. She was like, can we have more cups?

[Christopher]

Wait, this is a stand up joke. Write that down. Can you guys remember this? The one time I went to a club. Boom. That was perfect.

[Dave]

Okay.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Wow.

[Dave]

I was funny once. Thank you.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

That was good. You wrote a joke.

[Podcast Promo Announcer]

Comments.

[Dave]

I accidentally told a joke. There you go. I told you I was funny once every year.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Esther, don't listen to the comments. You know, that's your fans. What do they know? Do you have a podcast?

[Christopher]

Hell, no.

[Thrive Cosmetics Announcer]

What?

[Christopher]

To me, it's like, okay, my commitment right now is writing, acting, stand up. And then it's like, if I do another thing that takes away from those things that I act that I want

[Dave]

to do, how are you going to fit in raising Caroline's child amongst all

[Caroline Goldfarb]

those things and drinking Esther's breast milk?

[Dave]

Because we did bring you here to tell you that you are the father.

[Christopher]

Wait, do you not have it today?

[Dave]

Dad.

[Christopher]

Who's the dad?

[Caroline Goldfarb]

There's a dad.

[Christopher]

But this guy, is he in the picture?

[Caroline Goldfarb]

He's like the nicest, kindest Jewish man. That is.

[Christopher]

Are you Jewish?

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Yeah, extremely.

[Christopher]

So this is great for your parents.

[Dave]

Well, you'd be surprised. It's great.

[Christopher]

Are you Jewish?

[Dave]

I'm a half seas.

[Christopher]

And then Dave is Jewish.

[Dave]

Dave is the real.

[Christopher]

Okay, cool.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

But he's not culturally. He doesn't.

[Dave]

I feel like there's some Jew tension amongst you and my household. There is, and we need Dave here to.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

But they're like, because you're so Jewish, so culturally Jewish. Let's not get it twisted. I don't go to temple. I do actually go to temple sometimes.

[Dave]

Do you think you're more cultural on

[Caroline Goldfarb]

the spectrum with Dave? I'm at the way. Other end also.

[Christopher]

By the way, your diamond is so cool. This is insane.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Persian gym, baby. Oh, you're putting it together.

[Christopher]

Yeah. Now I'm looking at. Okay, okay. We got a rich person here.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Oh, no, wait. No, no.

[Christopher]

I'm just playing. I'm just playing.

[Dave]

I do have a question, though, for you guys legitimately.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

What's up? We're all ears.

[Dave]

This summer, okay, it's going to be my 20th high school reunion. Would you guys go? Have you gone 100?

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Always go.

[Christopher]

Do you like that? But you don't like side hugs. I don't think you're going to like.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Yeah, let's start with the hugs. You might have to open.

[Christopher]

Don't do it because you feel like you have to do it. Do like, your gut Is right. Like dunko.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

She has to get on a flight. That's the thing.

[Dave]

It's a little different with one of my children.

[Christopher]

Where is it at?

[Dave]

It's in Chicago.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Let's be honest. You go to Chicago all the time.

[Dave]

But I don't know that I have two children.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Which child would you bring?

[Dave]

I don't know. I'd want to bring Ace, but I'd probably have to bring Bernie.

[Christopher]

Is Bernie the littler one?

[Dave]

Yeah, because he's the one that sucks the titty milk out.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Oh, we're back to the titty, I think. You got any updates on.

[Christopher]

Any updates on the titty milk? I feel nothing.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Okay. Circling. Circling off the circle back.

[Christopher]

Yeah, I just feel nothing. Honestly, my dick actually just went inside.

[Esther Povitsky]

Okay.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Okay.

[Christopher]

Not because I'm, like, grossed out. Just because, like, I'm not about this life respectfully today. Wait, so here's. Here's a question, or not even a question. It's an answer for you. You're going. You have to go because you want to go. So you're going, and you're gonna figure out the baby thing.

[Dave]

I'm gonna throw in another.

[Christopher]

Your mom's gonna watch the kid at home. Your dad's gonna be on the couch watching the news and being like, oh, there's so many carjackings in Chicago.

[Dave]

Let me throw in one more wrench. The weekend after my high school reunion is my grandma's memorial. Oh, and I can only choose one.

[Christopher]

When did she pass?

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Grandma died.

[Dave]

My only grandma. She died in the fall. It's a very long, complicated death story.

[Christopher]

Did you already go to the funeral?

[Dave]

There was no funeral.

[Christopher]

Awake.

[Dave]

No.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

I think this is the memorials over eight months after the passing.

[Dave]

Just forget about grandma.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Forget about grandma.

[Christopher]

Were you close with her?

[Dave]

She moved to Saudi Arabia for 20 years the year I was born, so no.

[Christopher]

Oh, you're good.

[Dave]

But she's the only grandma I ever had.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

I mean, the fact that they're even doing a memorial at this point.

[Christopher]

Are you gonna see a bunch of family, though?

[Dave]

No, just my mom and her brother. And not the brother she's suing, but a different brother.

[Christopher]

Okay.

[Carmen Christopher]

What?

[Christopher]

Okay, what the hell? We can do that later.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

And I'm here.

[Christopher]

Yeah.

[Dave]

Anyways, look, I have to deal with that on my own. I want to talk about the lawsuit.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

I want to talk about.

[Dave]

I want to talk about mothers.

[Christopher]

Oh, I like that.

[Dave]

Because I unfortunately have to come out, come forward and confess that my son is my husband.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Yeah, we saw.

[Dave]

He is the love of my life.

[Christopher]

My son is My husband. Damn. Okay.

[Dave]

Do you. Are you. I forget how many. What? Are your sibling?

[Christopher]

I have two. I'm the youngest. I have two older siblings.

[Dave]

And boys or girls?

[Christopher]

Older brother and then older sister.

[Dave]

Is one of you guys a favorite?

[Caroline Goldfarb]

The baby, and he's a boy.

[Dave]

Are you the favorite?

[Christopher]

Everyone thinks I'm the favorite, and I probably am.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Yeah.

[Christopher]

But my mom, straight up will do anything for any one of her children. She's, like, incredible.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Well, you have a good mom.

[Christopher]

My mom's awesome. Like, I just, like, I was, like, growing up, I was like, I would have gave up on these kids a long time ago. I was like, why is she still dealing with my brother? No, my brother was bad. And I was like, she never quit on him. I'm like, I don't know. Like, I'm talking about. My brother was in and out of jail. My brother had two kids before. He was, like, 19. Like, people were after him. Like, it was. It was like he was bad. He, like, caused a lot.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

She stands ten toes down.

[Podcast Promo Announcer]

Yeah.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

And she was, like, hard for her son.

[Christopher]

I was like, dude, this kid, and she didn't give up on him. And, you know, he's. He's working, and he's a carpenter now, and he's doing better for himself. But I was like, bro. And she. She was just there, and I was like, I don't know how. I would never. I would have thrown his ass out.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Same.

[Dave]

Are you. Would you say you're close with your mom?

[Christopher]

For sure. I love my mom.

[Dave]

How often do you guys talk?

[Christopher]

Once or twice a week. Is that a lot or. No, that's little.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

That's really nice.

[Dave]

That's actually pretty good for a mother.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

If you said every day, I'd be creeped out. Yeah. No, but if you said once every two weeks, I'd be like, that's not enough.

[Christopher]

I would say, like, realistically, it depends on the week. Like, I just moved into a new place. So, like, we FaceTime yesterday. I talked last week, like, so, like, twice this week.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Do you guys sign off and say, I love you? Of course.

[Christopher]

Yeah, I think so.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

My parents struggle with that.

[Dave]

Same.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

I have to get it out. I have to say it first. Let's. Let's.

[Christopher]

We say love.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Christopher]

We don't say I love you.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Did you grow up?

[Christopher]

This is a. I love you is kind of weird.

[Dave]

I love.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

I love you.

[Carmen Christopher]

Yeah.

[Christopher]

Okay, I gotta go. I love you. Ew. Yeah, Check this out. I gotta go. All right. Love you. Sweet. Same thing, but not creepy.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

This is an interesting one. When you grew up, did you kiss either of your parents on the lips when you were, like, a little kid?

[Dave]

I think so. I think.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

See, it's kind of interesting. I brought it up with my husband. I was like, oh, do you kiss, like, little kids on the lips? And my husband was like, the normal answer. He was like, no, absolutely not. I will not be kissing any of my children on the lips.

[Dave]

That's how I am. I don't. You don't know.

[Christopher]

I can't. I can't be kissing on the lips. No. But I like the cheek and the head and stuff.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Yeah.

[Christopher]

I have a friend who just. My really close friend. John Reynolds has a kid.

[Thrive Cosmetics Announcer]

Yeah.

[Christopher]

But he. He has a kid, and I, like, I was just in New York. I stayed with him for a night, and I was playing with his son.

[Dave]

And how old was the son that.

[Christopher]

He's like one. He's huge

[Dave]

for a huge one year old.

[Christopher]

But I. I was playing with him and. And then I, like, gave him back to his wife and I kissed his ass on the top of the head. I couldn't. Like, I just did it. I was like. And I was like, wait, is that weird to kid another person's baby?

[Caroline Goldfarb]

No, not on the head.

[Dave]

Sort of. That's known to be kind of allowed. It's like, you can kiss someone else's kid. Not on the. Just not on the lips.

[Carmen Christopher]

Ew.

[Christopher]

Well, no one's doing that.

[Dave]

I'm obviously kissing Caroline's son on the lip.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Yeah. Esther has lip.

[Christopher]

For real? For real. That whole generation before us is weird, bro. Like, they're all getting in trouble. Now we know why you think they were, like, doing weird stuff, bro?

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Well, they, you know, had to go to World War II and whatnot.

[Carmen Christopher]

Yeah.

[Christopher]

We didn't have to go to wars.

[Dave]

Yeah, we're like, maybe, though.

[Christopher]

We're all like, it's giving this.

[Dave]

Yes.

[Christopher]

This is the best restaurant to eat at.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

You guys want to wait in line for a croissant?

[Christopher]

Everybody's so annoying now, right?

[Caroline Goldfarb]

See, I think we're the weird ones. Not the.

[Christopher]

Yeah, you're right. Everybody's the. So annoying.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

I'm giving this.

[Christopher]

It's giving me that.

[Dave]

It's fun to be annoying. You're. You're not.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

That's true, too. That's true, too.

[Dave]

Join us.

[Christopher]

I am annoying.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Probably boots the house down, mama. See, like, that was annoying. But it was fun to say.

[Christopher]

This is getting out of control. Everybody talks the same.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Everybody's like, that is true.

[Podcast Sponsor Announcer]

Everybody.

[Christopher]

Everybody's voice is annoying. The best

[Caroline Goldfarb]

this is the best restaurant. That is a normal thing saying this is the best restaurant in like, just

[Christopher]

like, like everyone's like tempo and V. I'm shipping. It's like, shut the up.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

But what if something was so sickening and fierce that you, Carmen Christopher, just simply had to say, work mama?

[Dave]

Yeah, like what would that be?

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Like, what if. What if? I'm just saying hypothetically, work my.

[Christopher]

I'm gonna start saying that. What? Just watch. We'll do it. We'll. There'll be a. There'll be a time in this interaction where I'm just gonna say it organically and it's gonna. It's gonna feel good.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Gangbusters online.

[Podcast Promo Announcer]

Get it?

[Esther Povitsky]

It's just.

[Dave]

Wait, but what is there. What is your best restaurant?

[Christopher]

Yeah, my best restaurant. I. I really, I really love my. My. One of my favorite restaurants in LA is a major Dormo. How do you say it? Also I. With quarter sheets.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Oh, you like to eat, huh?

[Dave]

Oh, somebody's house.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Somebody likes to eat.

[Dave]

Eat like me. Okay.

[Christopher]

The restaurant I go to the most.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

And the hungry.

[Christopher]

The restaurant I go to the most.

[Dave]

Caroline let me hungry.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Not me first. Okay, sorry. Tell us more about the best restaurants

[Christopher]

you guys go see. Actually, now you got me going. I'm like, go more, go more.

[Dave]

What do you get?

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Wait, wait.

[Dave]

What do you get at Major Domo? Because the chickpea macaroni is so good.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Chicken. No, the whole.

[Dave]

The bread with honey.

[Christopher]

I never even knew about being.

[Dave]

But what I hate is that they change their menu, which I know that's what nice restaurants do, but they used to have things that they don't have anymore and it's upsetting.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

No, that's kind of the circle of life. That's just the nature of change and stuff.

[Christopher]

Are you roll up on us with some bananas?

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Yeah.

[Dave]

Wait, what is this made that.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

It's part of the. I'm not a ho.

[Dave]

Keep going.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

I actually don't know why we get the banana. This is part of the homosexual.

[Dave]

This is the banana break. And it was introduced by my co host. And if you don't approve of that, you're racist because she's Filipino.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Oh, wow.

[Dave]

And the banana is her favorite fruit.

[Christopher]

I'm half Mexican, so I can't be racist.

[Dave]

You'd be surprised.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

I don't know. I don't know. You kind of feel racist weirdly the most in this trio.

[Dave]

This is a banana.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Oh, that was definitely racist. I don't know why, but it was.

[Christopher]

It's a big ass banana.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Yeah, mine is really Big.

[Dave]

And this has a target sticker left on. That is absolutely insulting. That's a slap in the face, this panel.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

The thing I like about this banana is I can tell it's GMO as fuck. And I like that. I like that. Seriously, it's not a bruise, not a blemish.

[Christopher]

What are we doing with this?

[Dave]

No one has to eat it. It's just if you needed a snack.

[Christopher]

Oh, actually, I'm gonna eat it. Wait, did I have a banana today?

[Caroline Goldfarb]

You can have two in one day.

[Dave]

Wait, you've already had one today?

[Christopher]

Yeah, I had a banana on the way here.

[Dave]

We've actually never had a banana within the last hour.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

And you forgot.

[Christopher]

I actually think the peels in the car.

[Dave]

We've been doing this podcast for five years. We've never had a guest who had a banana before they got here.

[Christopher]

Yeah, yeah, I had a banana.

[Dave]

We have to stop recording.

[Helix Mattress Announcer]

Kind of rude.

[Dave]

You're supposed to know not to do that.

[Christopher]

I haven't watched it.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Came having had.

[Christopher]

I haven't watched this podcast.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

You came having had.

[Christopher]

I had strawberries, blueberries, banana this morning.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

My God, what's going on in your car?

[Christopher]

Well, not in the car. I had it in my new place.

[Dave]

That would have been a good time to say work mama. I just want to say.

[Christopher]

Oh, I forgot about it. Let me just. Let me just. Let me put it in my brain.

[Dave]

Wait, what do you get at quarter sheets?

[Christopher]

And what are your cookie.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Let's go get the cake.

[Christopher]

Honestly, I'm talking about quarter sheets. Like, I've been there more than once.

[Dave]

I've only been once.

[Christopher]

I've been once. I just want.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

I just don't have cake.

[Christopher]

But I go to, like, steakhouses a lot that aren't, like. It's more about the ambiance than, like, the food.

[Dave]

I hate when people like the ambiance over.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

[Christopher]

But it's about the martinis and the laughs.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Yeah, alcoholic. Well, some of us like a martini. That's okay. No, we're not all your grandma.

[Dave]

Wait, I do want to get back to moms for a second, because I wonder, will you please share more about your mom's reaction to your pregnancy?

[Caroline Goldfarb]

She was like, caroline, I'm gonna tell you something. I'm like, oh, she's gonna give me this little gem of wisdom about being a mom. Or, like, tell me I'm gonna be this amazing mom. She goes, listen closely. Nothing in this world will age you like your first child. I'm her first child, by the way. Nothing you will look in the mirror and you won't even recognize yourself.

[Christopher]

Holy shit.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Will age you. And I'm like, holy. Thanks so much.

[Podcast Promo Announcer]

Thank you.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

It was so nice seeing you. Happy Mother's Day. But I love my mom. I love her.

[Dave]

I love her.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

I know she loves Esther.

[Dave]

I don't think she would like she

[Christopher]

says, do you think she would like me?

[Caroline Goldfarb]

She loves you. She loves all men.

[Dave]

Before we get back into today's episode,

[Podcast Promo Announcer]

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[Christopher]

Hey, Esther.

[Helix Mattress Announcer]

Is this Dave and Workaholics?

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Oh, and Juggalo.

[Dave]

I know. Is it the Juggalo makeup?

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Yeah.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Helix Mattress Announcer]

Oh, because I was like, that kind of looks like.

[Dave]

Oh, my God. Does anyone know who played this character?

[Helix Mattress Announcer]

Yeah, there's a whole Reddit thread on it.

[Dave]

Will you text me that. That Reddit thread that.

[Christopher]

Will you just text me and see what

[Caroline Goldfarb]

address.

[Christopher]

Let me get.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

You just text me of where I was.

[Christopher]

Let me get your ig. My ig is Carmen. Yes, Carmen. You could follow me for more goodies. Sorry, that's so embarrassing. I was doing it.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Just Karma.

[Dave]

More goodies is really good. I'm on board.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Yes, Carmen.

[Christopher]

Carmen. Yes, Carmen. Somebody created my Instagram for me when Instagram was new. I didn't know I was on it, and people were posting for me.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

This whole, like, lack of accountability. Yeah, I hate that. It's okay. You can just be like, I have a whack Instagram name.

[Dave]

Yeah, Caroline's giving you a rebrand.

[Christopher]

Wait, say what's up? Wait, what happened? What did I do wrong? Wait, what's going on? I'm so, like, this was like a decade, 14 years ago when Instagram was new.

[Dave]

Why?

[Caroline Goldfarb]

You don't have to even explain. Like, someone else was doing your thing.

[Christopher]

No, no, they were doing a prank on me. They were doing a prank.

[Dave]

They, like, created changing his story on the fly.

[Christopher]

No, I'm being for real, like.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

But it's good. You have a good Instagram name. Why do you. It doesn't matter. Like, you don't have to explain that you were pranked or anything.

[Christopher]

Carmen. Yes, Carmen.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

It's just not bad. It's cool.

[Dave]

Why are you so above social media that everyone else has to post for you?

[Christopher]

Oh, my God. This was 14 years ago when Instagram was new. No one had to put. I didn't know.

[Dave]

It's the same thing over, like, a politician.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

I didn't know Instagram, that's one sentence triggered.

[Christopher]

Tick tock is like. Tick tock is embarrassing Esther's whole business.

[Dave]

What's the point of you saying that just now?

[Christopher]

Wait, are you. No. Like, I just. Like, I feel like I just don't know how to do it.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

I also don't. I. I am the first to admit,

[Christopher]

but do you have a bunch of followers?

[Caroline Goldfarb]

I'm gonna follow you. She's so good at Tick Tock. She is. Don't lie. All. Why you go viral all the time.

[Christopher]

Can you post about me, please?

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Wait, no, me first. You said I'm your best friend.

[Christopher]

Post about me.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

I'm trying to blow my.

[Dave]

This guy who hates social media and won't be on.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Will you make a tik tok for Carmen in the.

[Christopher]

Oh, my God, you're huge. She has 375,000.

[Dave]

Need to get out more, bro.

[Christopher]

I got 6,000. Post about me now.

[Podcast Promo Announcer]

Fine.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

I've got like, maybe. Maybe 700.

[Christopher]

I got that check mark, though.

[Dave]

Literally. Own Tik Tok if you wanted to.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

I don't know.

[Christopher]

What about me?

[Dave]

Well, you're a boy. It's different.

[Christopher]

Nobody wants to me.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Oh, my God.

[Dave]

He wants to you. He just admitted it.

[Christopher]

No, but it's like.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

No.

[Christopher]

What I'm saying is, like, everybody. I feel like everybody on social media is just mad horny. They're like, I'm gonna follow this person because I want to.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

No. At all. Not even close.

[Christopher]

I'm sorry.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Okay, I'll show you right now. Hey, I'm Carmen. Carmen.

[Dave]

Christopher.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Carmen. Yes.

[Dave]

Christopher.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

A day in the life. Like, here's me eating a banana and blueberries and strawberries. Like, I know it's kind of a lot of fruit, but I'm gonna post TikTok right now.

[Christopher]

Can we go viral right now?

[Dave]

They go viral.

[Christopher]

Yo, number. Okay, number one rule. Tick tock. Do not say going viral. First off, I'm on a podcast today. Started at 8am I woke up, ate fruit, and now I'm on. And now I'm. Now I'm filming with the girls.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Work mama.

[Christopher]

Work mama.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Oh, my God, that's good. That was so good.

[Dave]

That literally was good.

[Christopher]

Like, how do I post?

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Can I post that, please?

[Dave]

Send it to me, please.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Okay. That was really good. That was a good start. Can I run your tick tock? Yeah, I'll charge a really reasonable rate.

[Dave]

Can her baby run your tick tock, please?

[Caroline Goldfarb]

My baby needs a job. My baby needs WGA insurance. Not making the minimum.

[Christopher]

But isn't that what tick tock is? It's child labor.

[Dave]

What?

[Christopher]

It's kids online making money.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Your algorithm is weird.

[Dave]

Yeah. What's your.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

I think your algorithm is having issues.

[Christopher]

I'll show you. I'll show you. I'll show you. Let's see. Do you guys want to see the first thing that pops up? Let's see. Video.

[Dave]

So you do use ranking the new

[Christopher]

SNL cast members now that. This. I don't care.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

You do.

[Dave]

You do, though.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

That's.

[Dave]

That's what hurts.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

The algorithm knows what you care about.

[Dave]

That's how it hurts you.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

It's okay. I can't do. I don't think line's that funny. I care.

[Dave]

Do you love Tick tock And you just bashed it for no reason. You have something. Something's going on.

[Christopher]

If I had 375, 000 followers like you, I would probably.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

All you have to do is.

[Christopher]

But I'm a loser and I reject it.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Talk into the camera and just say whatever and post every day and you will have 300, 000.

[Dave]

Yeah, you're funny. You're actually funny.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

You're so funny.

[Christopher]

But doesn't that take away from, like, me? Jobs that are like acting?

[Caroline Goldfarb]

I think. Yeah.

[Christopher]

I don't want to be like a talking head. I want to be like a.

[Dave]

But you just. You would just. First of all, we can't turn this into a motivational thing for Carmen. But you would. Last thing I'll say, you would just be yourself and you wouldn't be some. It's not like you're gonna go on there and become Gary V or whatever. Like.

[Christopher]

Right.

[Dave]

You're gonna be you.

[Christopher]

But I like saving that stuff.

[Dave]

For what?

[Caroline Goldfarb]

For, like, he doesn't want to do it.

[Christopher]

Project.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

He doesn't want to do it.

[Christopher]

No. You guys are.

[Dave]

Dave has talked me out of that mentality because I used to be like, I want to save all my best material and not burn it online. And Dave is like, you should just be posting whatever you have.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

That's good.

[Dave]

I've not done all of that, but to a certain extent, I have followed that.

[Christopher]

All right, I'm going to try that for a month because I have a bunch of that. I don't post because I'm like, it's not. It's not ready or it is.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

What about posting vids of you doing stand up?

[Christopher]

I hate doing that because I'm like, I want to save it for a special.

[Dave]

What about posting vids of you breastfeeding from Caroline?

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Oh, Esther's. Esther's. What about posting videos of Esther doing stand up? Do you even think about that? You got 300, 000 followers.

[Christopher]

I'm just gonna start posting your clips.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

That could be big for you. She's huge on TikTok.

[Dave]

You could be so big. Wait.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Okay. Sorry.

[Dave]

I have to ask a question.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Yeah.

[Dave]

If you could build your baby using only traits and features and character characteristics of the people on the couches today.

[Christopher]

Oh, that's so cool.

[Dave]

What would you do?

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Carmen's heart.

[Dave]

Sweet Carmen.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Carmen's heart. Number one.

[Dave]

Not his liver.

[Christopher]

Oh, my God. I'm about to cry in this hoe.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Carmen's heart. But Esther's killer instinct.

[Christopher]

Oh, wow.

[Dave]

Say more. Don't stop.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

A little killer. I want him to. To be serious about standing on business, collecting his money, making me a landlord. Because you're my Jewish.

[Christopher]

Wait. Are you serious about staying on business? Because you seem so sweet that I'm like, I know.

[Dave]

The cheeks really do throw people off. It helps.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Esther stands. She's my number one. It's so crazy. You are my number one. Most valued, especially for, like, in any industry questions. I always.

[Dave]

I really appreciate that. That means the world to me.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

I mean, my. My career's not going great right now.

[Dave]

No, it is.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Is. You're my first. You're my first go to. So, yeah, that's the inside. And then everything else a little tricky, especially without you, to be honest. Do you look down on people that are not comedians?

[Christopher]

Of course not. I respect people.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

I know, but that's you.

[Christopher]

When I'm on a set and, like, I relate more to, like, the gaffer and, like, the transpo people than the actors. My family.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

What about, like, a writer?

[Christopher]

A writer?

[Dave]

What about a pregnant writer?

[Christopher]

Writers. I'm just like, okay, a bunch of dorks in the house, but I love you guys.

[Dave]

That is pretty good. That's a good take.

[Podcast Promo Announcer]

Yeah.

[Dave]

He's not. Dorks and the crew are the real men.

[Christopher]

I mean, just, like, everybody in my family is, like, construction worker. Like, no one went to college. I went to college. That's it. They think I'm gay because I went to college.

[Dave]

That's kind of my family, too. Hunters, carpenters.

[Christopher]

You want to learn something?

[Dave]

What are you, floor layers?

[Caroline Goldfarb]

My family's the opposite, I think, because I have one degree. Like, everyone thinks I'm a loser. I don't know.

[Dave]

It's just. Yeah, you. You have, like, a ton of. I'll never forget, at your wedding, some Persian Jewish woman turned to me. She goes, are you Ashkenazi? I'm like, what? She's like, do you know what this sauce is?

[Caroline Goldfarb]

What?

[Christopher]

Because you know what? I'm Italian, and growing up, I watched a lot.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

We know, we know.

[Christopher]

You're.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Oh, my God. You mentioned, like, 10 times.

[Dave]

Panera sauce.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

It's giving us best restaurant ever.

[Christopher]

It's shipping. It's boots to the ground. I love Mob movies. And they would always be throwing the J word around. And I was like, what's so wrong with Jewish people? And then I go to college and

[Caroline Goldfarb]

I got found out.

[Christopher]

I got a bunch of. No, I go to. Because I didn't really know too many Jewish people in high school. I go to college and I got a bunch of Jewish roommates.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

And I'm like, these guys are chilling. Where'd you go?

[Christopher]

University of Iowa.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Oh, they have the Jews there.

[Thrive Cosmetics Announcer]

Yeah.

[Dave]

A lot of people from the Chicago suburbs go there.

[Podcast Sponsor Announcer]

Yeah.

[Christopher]

Because we can't get into university. Dumb people. University of Iowa is for people that can't get into University of Illinois.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

That's stupid.

[Dave]

We yours. We're from the same place. That's why we both know that.

[Christopher]

Yeah.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Christopher]

It's for dumb. I barely got into Iowa.

[Dave]

I went to Illinois, but I got in because of my.

[Christopher]

But Iowa is a much more fun school and better school on campus is.

[Dave]

There's that alcoholic side of you again.

[Christopher]

I know. No, you're right. Urbana is boring, though.

[Dave]

It sucks.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Yeah.

[Christopher]

The weather is better in Iowa

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Specific.

[Dave]

I was depressed. Sorry. We didn't go to Northwestern.

[Christopher]

You went to Northwestern.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Bam.

[Christopher]

Damn rich girl.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

I had student loans a lot.

[Christopher]

Yeah, your mom did not.

[Esther Povitsky]

You.

[Christopher]

Come on. I'm just playing.

[Dave]

There's no way her mom paid for her student loans. You. If you my mom, there's no way.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Oh, no, no, no.

[Christopher]

I didn't, like, discover Evanston until, like, I graduated college. I was like, wait. There's this, like, really nice part of Chicago. It's not even Chicago, really.

[Dave]

No, it's like the great.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Know how good I had it? It's one of the greatest college towns.

[Dave]

It's in between a suburb and the city. It's perfect.

[Christopher]

I still don't know about Evans.

[Dave]

I did everything in Evans.

[Christopher]

Like, it doesn't feel like Chicago.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

It's like upper crust. Obviously. Yeah. Of fancy.

[Dave]

And because it has Northwestern that, like. Yeah.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Okay. You have to understand, I'm from Sherman Oaks, I'm from the Valley. And going to Evanston, you'd think it's kind of the same thing. But it was such a culture shock for me.

[Dave]

No, Evans. It was not like Sherman.

[Christopher]

Yeah.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

I. The culture shock of moving to the Chicagoland area for a girl from the Valley were opposites.

[Dave]

Wait, what was it like?

[Caroline Goldfarb]

First of all, I remember. Were you scared of us thinking, like, the Produce here is really bad.

[Christopher]

Yeah, that's true. Yeah. That was really worse in New York for me.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

The apples are amazing.

[Dave]

You knew you had to say that.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

I knew I had to. I have to say it for you. But for legal reasons, like, I just remember being like, whoa, not all produce is amazing. And from California, this is really tasteless and bland.

[Christopher]

Yeah.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

And then the chain restaurant vibe is totally different. We like that thing. Exactly. What's that place that's like Pasta and company or Noodles? Noodles and Company.

[Christopher]

Ew.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

I was like, there's a chain restaurant that just says, sells very Chicago doesn't with noodles.

[Dave]

Well, I ate there every day in college, but okay. Buttered noodles. Shout out.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

But then this is when I started getting really fat, because I was like, wait, that's what. We're starting to like it here. Because then I discovered pot belly. And I was like, growing up, I'm like, subway sandwiches, whatever. But no, in Chicago, sandwiches are treated differently.

[Podcast Promo Announcer]

Yeah.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Yeah.

[Christopher]

I mean, like, you're eating like, that is all. Like, the thing about Chicago that's great is like. Like the delis. Like, you can go to a random ass suburb and it's the best sandwich you've ever had. The bread is really good. It's like French bread. And it's just. Oh, my God, I go nuts. My mouth's water. When I moved from Chicago and I realized that there wasn't Italian beefs everywhere in the country, my mind was blown.

[Dave]

That is a hard.

[Christopher]

And when there's not and there's not Jardiner everywhere, I'm like, wait, this is only in Chicago. We got the best city in the world.

[Dave]

We. Let's just at least touch on hot dogs for a second.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

I think the hot dog dogs that changed my life.

[Dave]

I was surprised when I moved here and there isn't a hot dog restaurant on, like, every third corner.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Wait, even just back up the phrase hot dog restaurant. Like, that's a thing that if you said that to me growing up, I'd be like, what? Hot dogs? They sell them at Costco. Like, I guess.

[Christopher]

No, we got bomb hot dogs everywhere.

[Dave]

Shout out Poochie. Shout out Herms. Shout out Superdog. Shout out Portillo.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

I love Superdog.

[Christopher]

And so Johnny's.

[Dave]

Where is that?

[Christopher]

Johnny's. I think it's.

[Dave]

Oh, is that the Battalion Beef place, though?

[Christopher]

Though? It is, but they have hot dogs as well.

[Dave]

Okay. I have not had Johnny's.

[Christopher]

Johnny's is awesome. I think it's in. I don't know. All the listeners are gonna go nuts. He doesn't know he's not Chicago.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

On my last trip, someone told me to go to Devil Dogs, and it sucked.

[Dave]

And haven't even heard of it. That person was trying to hurt you. They're in front of me to close out the food conversation. No, no.

[Christopher]

But also, real quick, if this is making your mouth water, you can now order, like, Italian beefs in the mail, and they'll ship them in dry ice. And my mom sent me some for my birthday, and it was so good. And I had people over, and I had people over, and I was like, they never had Italian beefs, and their minds were blown.

[Dave]

Lisa Traeger, do you know her? Oh, yeah, She's a comedian. She and I grew up together. We went to the same.

[Christopher]

What? Same grade?

[Dave]

Yeah. Kate. No, she was one year older, but. Yeah.

[Helix Mattress Announcer]

That's awesome.

[Dave]

We were not necessarily friends growing up. We knew of each other, but she was a year older. It's like she was too cool to be my friend.

[Christopher]

She's the best, for sure.

[Dave]

But she sent me Lumal Nadis frozen.

[Christopher]

Yeah.

[Dave]

And it hit.

[Christopher]

It slaps, bro.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

You know where I went on Chicago? Peds Pizza.

[Christopher]

Peds is good. It's a little.

[Dave]

Is that on the south side?

[Christopher]

I'm off Peds. No, it's by. It's on. It's on the north side.

[Dave]

I'm afraid of the south side.

[Christopher]

It's in Lincoln Park. It's on the north side.

[Dave]

Okay, never mind. I take. Cut that out.

[Christopher]

No, no, leave that. Leave that.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Clip it. Clip it. Cut it, then clip it.

[Christopher]

Clip it. Send me that.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

I'm going to post last.

[Dave]

Last thing about food in Chicago, and I swear we're done.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Oh, it's good. It's good.

[Christopher]

If you're tuning out, like, I'm. I got some crazy celebrity gossip about the television show the Bear. Just stay tuned.

[Dave]

Okay. By the way, my cousin. Never mind. My cousin is like, never mind. I'm gonna continue his. His restaurant that he owns.

[Christopher]

What's it called?

[Dave]

Viaggios.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Sounds so much like vagina, but the

[Dave]

whole cast of the Bear hangs out there.

[Christopher]

Really?

[Caroline Goldfarb]

That he tells you to see?

[Dave]

No, they've told me that.

[Christopher]

You know I'm in the Bear, right?

[Dave]

No.

[Christopher]

You didn't know that?

[Dave]

Wait.

[Christopher]

So funny.

[Dave]

Do you guys. Have you been there?

[Christopher]

Never even heard of it.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

You're on the Bear. That's awesome, dude.

[Christopher]

I mean, I'm in, like, congrats.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

That's huge.

[Christopher]

But I'm not, like, a series regular. I'm in, like, two, three episodes.

[Dave]

Where do you Want.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Are you in the fancy restaurant?

[Christopher]

Yeah, I got, like, scenes, and I'm

[Dave]

in, like, you don't know my cousin's restaurant? You're not on the Bear?

[Caroline Goldfarb]

I mean, I think they hang out there.

[Christopher]

Wait, that's so funny. Are you really learning this right now?

[Dave]

Because I had two kids, you know?

[Christopher]

But also, it's not a big deal. Like, I'm like number 20 on the call sheet.

[Dave]

I haven't seen the show.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

But do you know. Do you know my friend Sarah Ramos?

[Christopher]

Of course. I love Sarah.

[Dave]

She's my friend. She's my friend. I've known her. She's not 16.

[Christopher]

Yeah, Sarek. I've been on since season one. She came in, like, season two.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

You know Andrew Lopez? Yeah, I know Andrew the God.

[Christopher]

Yeah, Andrew's my dad. We ate Taco Bell late one night at a hotel. After this past season, there was like a night they let us go to, like, they got us, like, a nice dinner or whatever.

[Dave]

Was it from my cousin's restaurant?

[Christopher]

No, it was Shaws, I think.

[Dave]

Oh.

[Christopher]

And then it was so good. But then we. Late night. I came home at like 2 or 3 in the morning. I was up, and then I saw him in the lobby, and somebody just left their Taco Bell. Like, there was a Taco Bell delivery. And we looked at the time and we're like, oh, it's been sitting here for like, three hours. And we ate that it. And it was disgusting.

[Dave]

That's a beautiful story for us.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

That is.

[Christopher]

But it was, like, there for three hours. They're like, it ain't. No one's coming. It's gonna go in the garbage. We gotta eat this.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Yeah, it gets better the longer it sits.

[Christopher]

Also, where were we? Four Seasons Holler.

[Dave]

I love Chicago.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Four Seasons. It's connected to a mall.

[Dave]

It is connected to a mall.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

I love it.

[Dave]

The only reason I got to stay there is because Nikki Glazer put me up there because she's so rich.

[Christopher]

Yeah, I never. I never say to the four season of my life, the Bear be putting you up.

[Dave]

Okay, wait. And this is gonna make or break us.

[Christopher]

Let me check my IG real quick. Okay, yeah, go ahead.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Oh, you know, there's nothing going to ask him.

[Christopher]

What?

[Dave]

Have you been to PETA in?

[Christopher]

Oh, PETA in. No.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Oh, you shouldn't have said that. Oh, no. Well, Esther, you have to understand. Esther rides hard for Skokie. That's her spot.

[Dave]

But most Chicagoans go to Skokie for PETA in.

[Christopher]

Oh, my God, Skokie is such a joke.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

No. Come on. It's like the hot.

[Dave]

Everyone from Chicago treats me. I'm not surprised.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

I expect Skokie gets a lot of.

[Christopher]

I expect if I'm being real, like, I literally know nothing about Skokie.

[Dave]

People hate on it. It's very easy to hate, but they

[Christopher]

don't know the name is so goofy.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Exactly.

[Christopher]

I'm like, okay, that's what it is as a name.

[Dave]

They don't.

[Christopher]

You're going to ride for Skokie.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Skokie has amazing historical significance.

[Dave]

I will be the mayor one day. And you. You'll see.

[Christopher]

It was the hotbed of civil rights activism.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Not some civil rights stuff.

[Christopher]

Yeah, the bad stuff.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

No, no. There was.

[Christopher]

Chicago is hella racist. This.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Yeah.

[Christopher]

That's when Martin Luther King marched through Illinois. And after going through the south, and they went through, like, Cicero, Illinois, he was like, it's the worst. We've seen it. It was.

[Dave]

That was when my dad was teaching

[Christopher]

school, and he told me, yeah, my family's from Cicero. It's embarrassing.

[Dave]

He said that when he was there, they had the National Guard had to, like, walk him into his job.

[Christopher]

Yeah. It's crazy. Chicago's wild.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

That's, like, what happens when Esther and I roll up to the Four Seasons Mall. The National Guards male, like, let's go. Let's go. I love Chicago. I just had to say that one last time. I just. I'm so jealous of you guys for being from there.

[Dave]

She's sponsored by the city of Chicago.

[Christopher]

You're jealous of us.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Some of the worst things happen to me there. I have horrible memories of college, but I love Chicago. I. I just. I'll never get over it.

[Christopher]

Makes you. The whole thing about it is, like, everybody's always, like, new York's tough. New York's tough.

[Helix Mattress Announcer]

Tough.

[Christopher]

And then I moved, like, from Chicago to New York and lived in New York for a while, and I was like, everybody in New York is so welcoming and inviting. And it was like, wait, Chicago people are mean.

[Dave]

I agree.

[Christopher]

Chicago, like, I don't know who the people are. Like, Southern, Midwest hospitality. No. Or whatever. Midwest chart. What do they call it?

[Dave]

Charm. I think both of those are a thing.

[Christopher]

Whatever. But, like, New York, I was like, oh, Like, New York is, like, built.

[Dave]

My real people.

[Christopher]

Yeah.

[Dave]

Okay. I have a theory, and I want you guys to stick with me on this. Tell me. Be honest. I feel that when I'm in Chicago, I feel that I'm, like, literally so ugly. Men never see me. Like, I've was never hit on. I just. Was just Another, Another one of those in la. I feel so much more attractive because I feel like I'm different and I stand out more.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

So opposite because when I go to Chicago, I'm like exotic for them. Not really, but I feel like I get way more male attention in Chicago.

[Dave]

Yeah, it's like.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

And you're like a nice Midwestern girl when you come here.

[Christopher]

Interesting.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Yeah. And to hear they're like another Jew Persian, like kick her to the side. We don't. Don't care about her.

[Christopher]

I feel like I get.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Where do you get hit on by men more?

[Christopher]

I feel like women are more interested in me in LA and New York and not in Chicago because you're famous. But Chicago people don't give a about artists. They want like finance and like that. They're like really like weird because like Chicago is interesting. It's like the people that move to the city, it's like from all these other like Midwestern like Indiana, Michigan, Ohio, and their interests aren't like being in like whatever we're doing.

[Dave]

When I lived in Chicago, I was like, I will never meet someone. I will never. I was like, I'm going to die alone. Like that was my mentality for. That's why when I moved to L. A I dated the first person I guy that hit on me who unfortunately happened to be Tony Hinchcliffe.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

But we all know how that ended.

[Christopher]

Do your viewers know that?

[Dave]

Everybody knows about it.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Yeah.

[Christopher]

Are you still boys with him?

[Dave]

We have a dog.

[Christopher]

But does Dave approve of this?

[Dave]

Dave loves it.

[Christopher]

Is Dave and Kill Tony friends they have not met.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

What do you think they could have.

[Christopher]

They couldn't be more.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

I honestly want dear.

[Christopher]

Well, they couldn't be more different. But Dave is also such an understanding guy where he'd be like, not this guy.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Yeah, Dave's like a highly evolved, Harvard educated, super, super intelligent, well read guy. Kill Tony is like abrasive and racist. I can't believe I'm not gonna get us staffed on Kill Tony now. There goes that job too. Okay, one last Chicago food thing and I swear, then I swear we can move on on.

[Dave]

We have to go. Wait, how long are we.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

I'm sorry, we're done.

[Dave]

This is like literally my favorite.

[Christopher]

Wait, we didn't do any of this.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

We skipped those here.

[Christopher]

We didn't talk about my movie coming out.

[Dave]

No, no, no, it's honestly have to talk about that. No, unfortunately we just don't have time. We're just out.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

You want 15 seconds starts now.

[Dave]

Okay, yeah, we go right now. Time's up.

[Christopher]

Okay, straight up. This movie is written by John Reynolds.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Oh, really? Okay, wait, that's actually cool.

[Dave]

Wait. Okay, now we're interested.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Why didn't you talk about this before?

[Christopher]

It's with me, John Reynolds, Gary Richardson, Sophia Black, Delia.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Say them all with your chest.

[Christopher]

I don't know. It's about a bunch of. In Joe Firestone. It's about a bunch of 35 year olds who have to go back and finish their last semester of high school. It's really stupid and really funny. If you're into like dumb, goofy, like.

[Dave]

No, that's an amazing cast.

[Christopher]

The movie like this is like. It's just stupid and funny.

[Dave]

The fact that it was written by John Reynolds, like, you know, it's good.

[Christopher]

There you go.

[Dave]

We'll be watching.

[Christopher]

And I'm up in that thing. And if you guys mess with this podcast. Oh, my God, wait till you see this. I don't. I'm so sick of promoting.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

No, no, don't stop. Don't stop. We just had it in the pocket.

[Christopher]

If you think. If you think that this episode of this podcast is good. Dude, this movie is crazy. Smythe.

[Dave]

So basically this work mama there. Compared to the movie.

[Christopher]

No. This podcast has been fun as hell.

[Dave]

Really?

[Christopher]

Do you think that I'll be back?

[Caroline Goldfarb]

I would love to have you. I don't host it. I'm sorry.

[Dave]

She's like, I have no say.

[Christopher]

What took you guys so long to get me on here?

[Dave]

I don't know, actually. It just kind of. Oh, because we took a really long break when I had a baby.

[Christopher]

I'm also not like a big podcast guy.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

You don't go on them?

[Christopher]

I don't get really asked anymore. Do any straight guys listen to this?

[Dave]

It's literally. It's very strange. We are half women, half men. Like, we are fellas.

[Christopher]

Follow me on social media. Carmen. Yes, Carmen. I'm going on tour soon. I don't know when, but I got goofy videos and my is gonna be good.

[Dave]

Wait, Caroline, you've been on here and you haven't even once promoted Plugin Bro? Your show? The business show.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Oh, my God. Yes, I did. So good. Thank you so much.

[Dave]

She literally came up with this show.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

And it sounds sad when Esther describes it. Came up with it.

[Dave]

She made it up.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Young gravy. Know him? Call Jason.

[Christopher]

That's funny.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Do you know who that is?

[Podcast Promo Announcer]

He's.

[Christopher]

Oh, call Jacob. The lawyer guy. Yeah, I saw him at like an Emmy party.

[Dave]

I was like, he's not your cousin. What?

[Caroline Goldfarb]

He is. I'm Dead ass.

[Dave]

Where was he at your wedding?

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Mom's first cousin? We're not close to that.

[Christopher]

I saw him in an Emmy party. Like, I saw him at an Emmy party, like, eating the cheeses. I was like, why is he here?

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Because he's an amazing businessman.

[Christopher]

That's cool. But he looked mad. Or is that just how he looks?

[Dave]

Oh, that was racist against Jews.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

Persians as well. No, he. Maybe he was having a bad day or something. He's really cool.

[Christopher]

No, he seemed cool.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

But yes. The business center on Tick Tock. I forgot. And then stuff that no one ever. It never comes. It's not coming out.

[Christopher]

Tell him let's link up. If he wants to make a commercial for his lawyer stuff, I'm. I'm down.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

I have a direct line to him. I can make that happen.

[Christopher]

But also, I don't know if I actually want to do.

[Dave]

Is your direct line just the number that's on the billboards?

[Caroline Goldfarb]

He actually does not answer my texts.

[Dave]

Now we're getting. Now we're getting read.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

But eventually, sometimes me, he'll just call me, right?

[Dave]

Randomly.

[Christopher]

Okay.

[Helix Mattress Announcer]

Really?

[Christopher]

Like it's.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

We've got one of those relationships.

[Christopher]

Okay. Ever since we've been doing this podcast, I got one new follower. So I think it's working.

[Dave]

That's the magic of the podcast. You guys. Thank you so much for listening. Thank you to our guests. This has been unhinged. We need part. Part two now. Comment. Sound off if you need part two.

[Christopher]

Sound off if you need part 2, please.

[Caroline Goldfarb]

He needs one more follower.

[Christopher]

And then he said, could you you imagine part two. Work, mama.

[Dave]

See you guys next week with a brand new episode. We miss Kalila and we'll see her next week.

[Podcast Promo Announcer]

Bye, guys.

[Christopher]

All right, later.

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