We ♡ Musicals Ft. Caitlin Reilly & Justin Martindale

Summary

Podcast Summary: "We ♡ Musicals" Ft. Caitlin Reilly & Justin Martindale

Podcast Information:

• Title: Trash Tuesday w/ Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn
• Hosts: Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn
• Episode: "We ♡ Musicals" featuring guests Caitlin Reilly & Justin Martindale
• Release Date: June 3, 2025

---

Introduction: Welcoming the Guests

The episode begins with a warm and humorous introduction as Esther Povitsky compliments Justin Martindale's shirt, sparking a playful exchange about merchandise and personal connections.

Notable Quote:

• Esther Povitsky: "I love your shirt." ([00:00])

Guests Caitlin Reilly and Justin Martindale join the hosts, setting a relaxed and engaging tone for the episode.

---

Celebrity Discussions: Britney Spears and Beyond

Britney Spears' Public Image and Conservatorship

A significant portion of the early conversation revolves around Britney Spears, her well-being, and the impact of her conservatorship. The guests discuss Spears' public appearances and speculate on her potential resurgence in the entertainment industry.

Notable Quotes:

• Justin Martindale: "She needs to get out of her fireplace." ([00:43])
• Caitlin Riley: "She really did need that conservatorship." ([00:56])

Reflection on 9/11 and Personal Histories

Transitioning from pop culture, the guests share personal anecdotes related to the September 11 attacks, revealing their birth dates and the profound impact of the event on their lives.

Notable Quote:

• Caitlin Riley: "I kind of feel like it's like the death of our innocence." ([02:58])

---

Personal Struggles: Mental Health and High School Challenges

Caitlin's Experience with Adderall

Caitlin Reilly opens up about her high school struggle with Adderall, detailing the physical and mental toll it took on her during her academic years.

Notable Quotes:

• Caitlin Riley: "I was on Adderall in high school and then it completely fucked up my whole mind and body." ([05:52])
• Caitlin Riley: "I started to get panic attacks and, like, heart palpitations." ([05:56])

Justin's Focus Issues

Justin Martindale shares his own challenges with focus, highlighting the pervasive nature of mental health issues among the youth.

Notable Quote:

• Justin Martindale: "I can't focus." ([06:19])

---

Wedding Planning Woes: Stress and Humor

Caitlin and Justin's Upcoming Weddings

The conversation shifts to a humorous yet relatable discussion about wedding planning. Caitlin expresses her frustration with the complexities and costs involved, while Justin shares details about his own upcoming nuptials.

Notable Quotes:

• Caitlin Riley: "I'm planning a wedding right now, and I hate every goddamn fucking second of it." ([12:03])
• Esther Povitsky: "I thought about, like, getting married in the backyard..." ([12:55])

Shared Anecdotes and Comedic Banter

The hosts and guests engage in playful banter about their wedding experiences, adding a lighthearted element to the episode.

Notable Quotes:

• Caitlin Riley: "I have to fill. Figure it the out." ([12:16])
• Justin Martindale: "We know each other very, very well." ([13:35])

---

Musical Theater Segment: Charades and Opinions

Musical Charades Game

A highlight of the episode is the interactive game of musical charades, where guests act out famous musicals. This segment showcases their knowledge and passion for theater through entertaining performances.

Notable Moments:

• Justin Martindale: "Phantom of the Opera." ([40:25])
• Caitlin Riley: "Little Mermaid." ([43:19])
• Kalila: Successfully acts out "Les Misérables." ([41:07])

Critical Commentary on Broadway

Following the game, the guests discuss recent Broadway casting choices and musicals, offering both praise and criticism. Topics include Nicole Scherzinger's Tony nomination and the prevalence of jukebox musicals.

Notable Quotes:

• Esther Povitsky: "Nicole Scherzinger got nominated for Tony. People are upset." ([21:12])
• Caitlin Riley: "There's nothing I hate more than a jukebox musical..." ([21:35])

---

Pop Culture and Personal Reflections

Discussions on Celebrities and Trends

The hosts delve into broader pop culture topics, including the portrayal of celebrities in musicals, the impact of social media, and generational differences in perspectives.

Notable Quotes:

• Justin Martindale: "She would have been on Beyoncé last night. Like, it would be revolutionary." ([01:41])
• Caitlin Riley: "Everyone's gay." ([19:28])

Insights on Social Media Dynamics

They explore how social media influences perceptions of fame and personal relationships, highlighting the absurdities and pressures of maintaining an online presence.

Notable Quote:

• Esther Povitsky: "How tall are you? I'm five six. I'm like that middle." ([30:55])

---

Interactive Audience Engagement: Patreon and Hater Tier

Introducing the Hater Tier

In an innovative move, the hosts introduce the "Hater Tier" on their Patreon, inviting listeners who may be critical or negative to engage constructively. This segment underscores the podcast's commitment to community building and inclusive dialogue.

Notable Quotes:

• Esther Povitsky: "We have created the first ever Patreon hater tier." ([26:16])
• Kalila: "We'll read the things you say. That'll hurt us." ([26:20])

Encouraging Listener Participation

The hosts encourage listeners to join their Patreon for exclusive content, fostering a sense of belonging and participation among their audience.

Notable Quotes:

• Esther Povitsky: "If you want to join us on the hater tier, you can click the link below..." ([26:16])
• Kalila: "And if you're not a hater, we have other tiers that are just for you as well." ([26:20])

---

Conclusion: Wrapping Up with Final Thoughts

Final Games and Goodbyes

The episode concludes with a final round of musical charades, leaving listeners with laughs and memorable moments. The hosts and guests share their final thoughts, upcoming projects, and heartfelt goodbyes.

Notable Quotes:

• Esther Povitsky: "We're together. Oh, my God." ([13:30])
• Justin Martindale: "That was really fun. I could just sit and talk all day with you guys." ([48:00])

Shout-Outs and Future Episodes

The hosts give shout-outs to loyal listeners and tease content for future episodes, maintaining engagement and anticipation for what's to come.

Notable Quotes:

• Esther Povitsky: "We love you so much. Justin Martindale. Caitlin Riley." ([47:15])
• Caitlin Riley: "We have some things in the works that I cannot currently discuss." ([47:19])

---

Key Themes and Takeaways

• Pop Culture Engagement: Deep dives into celebrity lives, especially Britney Spears, and their impact on society.
• Personal Authenticity: Open discussions about mental health struggles and personal anecdotes foster relatability.
• Humor and Relatability: Balancing serious topics with humor keeps the conversation engaging and accessible.
• Interactive Content: Games and audience engagement strategies, like the hater tier, enhance listener participation.
• Passion for Musical Theater: Enthusiastic discussions and games related to musicals highlight the hosts' and guests' passions.

---

Listeners who enjoy a blend of humor, genuine conversations, and interactive segments will find this episode of Trash Tuesday both entertaining and insightful. Whether you're a fan of musicals, interested in celebrity culture, or looking for relatable discussions on personal struggles, "We ♡ Musicals" offers a comprehensive and engaging experience.

Transcript

[Esther Povitzky]

I love your shirt.

[Justin Martindale]

I wore your merch. Yeah.

[Esther Povitzky]

Is that you? That's. Wait now, you could tell Mr. Let me know.

[Caitlin Riley]

I didn't know that was you. Your mom is Andie MacDowell.

[Justin Martindale]

She goes by Esther Povitzky. It's Esther Qualley, but Povitzky has more of like a.

[Caitlin Riley]

And your dad. Tim Qualley.

[Justin Martindale]

Tim Qualley.

[Esther Povitzky]

The fact that you could name check Tim Qualley.

[Justin Martindale]

Yeah. Wait, and you're. Yeah.

[Esther Povitzky]

I'm sorry to bring up a bad time, a bad memory.

[Caitlin Riley]

So here's the.

[Justin Martindale]

It was a great memory.

[Caitlin Riley]

Do you not like Britney Spears?

[Justin Martindale]

No, I do.

[Esther Povitzky]

We love Britney Spears.

[Caitlin Riley]

She's not well.

[Justin Martindale]

She needs to get out of her fireplace.

[Caitlin Riley]

Well, what are you talking about?

[Justin Martindale]

Did you not see the video where she like jumped in her fireplace and her hair almost caught on fire?

[Esther Povitzky]

You always know the Britney video that came out 30 seconds before everyone else like it.

[Justin Martindale]

You can't make a TikTok.

[Caitlin Riley]

I just say she really did need that conservatorship.

[Justin Martindale]

I know she was in Mexico though.

[Esther Povitzky]

I'm. It's so. I. I don't even know what. She's not.

[Caitlin Riley]

Maybe not that, but like something.

[Justin Martindale]

She was in Puerto Vallarta though, and it made me happy that she was like, on vacation. But then I was like, who is she with?

[Caitlin Riley]

I was just, who is she with?

[Justin Martindale]

Who is she with?

[Caitlin Riley]

Who is she with?

[Justin Martindale]

She can't be by herself, clearly.

[Caitlin Riley]

Does she have a phone?

[Justin Martindale]

The million dollar question, like, who is she with? And she was just like spinning in a restaurant. Maybe she worked there.

[Esther Povitzky]

I don't know what would be happening if she was all there. Like, what would we be getting? We would.

[Justin Martindale]

Let me tell you.

[Caitlin Riley]

Oh my God.

[Esther Povitzky]

Britney Spears.

[Justin Martindale]

E. Britney Spears.

[Caitlin Riley]

Oh my God.

[Justin Martindale]

Lady Gaga duet off of the Mayhem album singing how bad do you want me?

[Esther Povitzky]

She would have showed up at Coachella.

[Caitlin Riley]

She would have been on Beyonce last night. Like, it would be revolutionary.

[Esther Povitzky]

A 10 episode Netflix doc series about like just being her getting back into the.

[Justin Martindale]

I know.

[Caitlin Riley]

God.

[Justin Martindale]

Yeah, that's my black mirror episode. The timeline. Like, what would the timeline be?

[Caitlin Riley]

I think about her often and it like, makes me. Me really sad. Yeah, I kind of feel like it's like the death of our innocence. You know what I mean?

[Justin Martindale]

Oh.

[Caitlin Riley]

Like after 9 11, just like everything went bad. But I was. I actually wasn't alive when that happened.

[Justin Martindale]

Me too.

[Esther Povitzky]

You were alive during 9 11.

[Justin Martindale]

I was born the day after.

[Caitlin Riley]

I had nothing to do with that.

[Justin Martindale]

I was born 9 12. Yeah.

[Caitlin Riley]

Yeah. I was born like 2003.

[Esther Povitzky]

That's so weird. Cause I feel like when I look at the footage, like, I see you there.

[Caitlin Riley]

I wasn't there. It looks just like you. No, babe, I wasn't there.

[Esther Povitzky]

I don't know.

[Justin Martindale]

I thought you were the woman in the red shirt, like, waving, like, help me.

[Caitlin Riley]

Like, every day.

[Justin Martindale]

Shirt I wore on 9 11.

[Esther Povitzky]

Wait, Kylo, before you got here, we were talking about, like, honestly, one of the hardest subjects to talk about in life, which is what would happen if Britney Spears, like, was still with it and what she'd be doing. I know, I know. We got.

[Caitlin Riley]

Yeah, like in an alternate universe. Like, what would. What would that really look like?

[Kalila]

Wow. I don't know if I can handle that kind of heartbreak, hurt, pain.

[Esther Povitzky]

You know what? I also do this often for Brittany Murphy, if she were still alive.

[Caitlin Riley]

Oh, I can't talk about that. Oh, I can't talk about that.

[Esther Povitzky]

Why were you at the crime scene.

[Caitlin Riley]

In a red shirt?

[Esther Povitzky]

No.

[Caitlin Riley]

Well, didn't. Hold on. Didn't Britney Spears live in that house?

[Esther Povitzky]

Yes.

[Caitlin Riley]

Sold it to Brittany Marvin.

[Justin Martindale]

Yep. Yep. Asbestos in the walls.

[Caitlin Riley]

Crazy.

[Kalila]

Do you believe in, like, that whole poltergeist thing? Like, do you think that's something to do with.

[Caitlin Riley]

I believe in. I believe in all that shit.

[Justin Martindale]

I think it was.

[Caitlin Riley]

My house is haunted as fuck, but.

[Justin Martindale]

I think it was, like, full on. Like, mom was, like, feeding her, like, the little, like, aluminum salt.

[Caitlin Riley]

Oh, I don't think so. I just think she's a little crazy.

[Justin Martindale]

Brittany Murphy.

[Caitlin Riley]

I don't think Brittany Murphy's mom, like, wanted her to die.

[Kalila]

She was. What, was there a whole Munchausen situation then?

[Justin Martindale]

Do you remember the mom, after she died, started dating her husband?

[Caitlin Riley]

No, they weren't dating.

[Esther Povitzky]

They were sharing a bed.

[Caitlin Riley]

They were just sharing a bed.

[Justin Martindale]

And then the husband died of the same shit.

[Caitlin Riley]

It was weird. It was fucking weird. I think that he was fucking weird.

[Esther Povitzky]

But I'm thinking, like, Brittany Murphy would be, like. She would be having her come back, like, around now, and she would be starring in, like, hbo.

[Justin Martindale]

She'd be an Oscar winner, I think. Yeah, I think she'd have, like, that role that, like.

[Esther Povitzky]

Yeah.

[Caitlin Riley]

Oh, for sure. I think that she would have been in Poor Things. Like, she would. She would have taken, like, an Emma Stone route and she would have been into, like, really weird. Yeah, she would have done something like Poor Things and, like, ate it.

[Justin Martindale]

Absolutely.

[Caitlin Riley]

I mean, Emma Stone's great, but, like.

[Justin Martindale]

But she'd have only one Oscar.

[Esther Povitzky]

Yeah, one Oscar.

[Justin Martindale]

Emma Stone getting two.

[Esther Povitzky]

I was like, okay, you know, I think that you should only be allowed to get one, and then you're not eligible anymore.

[Kalila]

Yeah, well, that doesn't make sense. What if your work the following years is even more superior?

[Esther Povitzky]

You already got one.

[Kalila]

Like Daniel Day Lewis. Like, which one would he have gotten it for?

[Caitlin Riley]

Hanks got two back to back Philadelphia.

[Kalila]

And then a four star.

[Caitlin Riley]

That's absurd.

[Esther Povitzky]

Give someone else a chance at being an Oscar winner. There's so few opportunities like you. Why do you need more than one Oscar? Come on.

[Kalila]

Because the Daniel Day Lewis of the world exists.

[Esther Povitzky]

No, then you're an Oscar winner. And like, we assume that every performance after that should be Oscar worthy because you're an Oscar winner.

[Caitlin Riley]

I think that the Oscars are great. I think they're great.

[Esther Povitzky]

Okay, we get it. Your dad invented the Oscars.

[Caitlin Riley]

Sorry.

[Esther Povitzky]

So today we're talking about musical theater a little bit.

[Kalila]

Have we done a proper intro?

[Justin Martindale]

Oh, no, you've just been talking.

[Caitlin Riley]

Wait, have we been recording this whole time? Yeah. Oh, you guys didn't know that?

[Justin Martindale]

Did I sit down and they rolled.

[Esther Povitzky]

Yeah.

[Justin Martindale]

Wow.

[Caitlin Riley]

My ears are ringing.

[Justin Martindale]

Who does?

[Esther Povitzky]

Wait, you guys are just that funny off camera.

[Caitlin Riley]

Yeah, it's all a performance. It's just I'm exhausted every day of my life.

[Justin Martindale]

I went to Mexico and got Adderall.

[Esther Povitzky]

Whoa. That's not really good.

[Caitlin Riley]

I did Adderall in high school and then it completely fucked up my whole mind and body.

[Justin Martindale]

Oh, I can't wait.

[Esther Povitzky]

How so?

[Caitlin Riley]

I was on so much of it that I lost like 40 pounds in six months. Hot and 30 milligrams. I was on long acting during the day and then short acting at night to do my homework, and I stopped eating. And the faculty of my high school called me into the office and had an intervention because I thought I was anorexic trauma.

[Esther Povitzky]

Oh, my God.

[Caitlin Riley]

And I wasn't. And I was like, no, you guys, I'm just on Adderall. My parents put me on it.

[Justin Martindale]

I can't focus.

[Caitlin Riley]

Can't focus. And then it, like, I started to get panic attacks and, like, heart palpitations. It completely up the chemistry of my brain. But I got my homework done. And also I got my homework done. Guys.

[Esther Povitzky]

You're successful, you're funny. So I think it was good, you guys. Welcome to Trash Tuesday. Today we have returning guests. Returning champion Justin Martindale, hilarious comedian. He has his podcast. What is your podcast called?

[Justin Martindale]

I wish I knew. It's called Just Saying with Justin Martin.

[Esther Povitzky]

So funny. I literally watch it every week. And you do, like, funny, topical shit anytime. There's pop music news. You know, I'm in there. And then she's a TikTok superstar. Caitlin Riley, actress.

[Caitlin Riley]

Don't call me a TikTok superstar. Don't do that to me. I'm an. I am on television.

[Esther Povitzky]

But that's less relevant than being, like, popular on TikTok.

[Caitlin Riley]

That's true.

[Esther Povitzky]

Yeah, I think.

[Kalila]

Wait, your house is haunted?

[Caitlin Riley]

Mm.

[Esther Povitzky]

Say that.

[Justin Martindale]

Wait, it really is.

[Caitlin Riley]

Oh, yeah.

[Esther Povitzky]

You guys.

[Kalila]

So Esther doesn't believe in this stuff, so she might check out for dinner.

[Caitlin Riley]

Then. What do you believe, Esther?

[Justin Martindale]

I'm going in. I love this stuff.

[Caitlin Riley]

What do you believe then? Do you just think this is all an accident? What do you believe?

[Esther Povitzky]

I want to know. Why do you think your house is haunted?

[Caitlin Riley]

Because weird shit happens.

[Esther Povitzky]

Like what?

[Caitlin Riley]

So the house was built in 1949.

[Justin Martindale]

I'm in.

[Caitlin Riley]

Okay. One night I'm sleeping in bed with my fiance and I wake up to go pee. It's like four in the morning. I can't go back to sleep. So I close my eyes and I try to go back to sleep. I'm just kinda like, lying there in silence. And I distinctly hear, clear as fucking day. I'm wide awake. I hear a woman's laugh, and it's clear as fucking day.

[Justin Martindale]

How close was it? Like, in your ear or.

[Caitlin Riley]

Like, it was in our bedroom, like, in the corner. Like, clear as fucking day. And then there was one time I was. It's in, like, concentrated in our bedroom. I was in bed. I'm watching tv. He's downstairs with the dogs. One of the dogs comes upstairs, and so the door was closed. The door opens. I see the light from the door opening, and I'm talking to him because he's. I think he's in the room but, like, around the corner. And I'm like, oh, you gonna fucking come in here? Like, I was like, joking around. Like, five minutes go by, I'm like, oh, he's really committing to the bit. And, like, hiding behind the corner. And he's not there. He's not even in the house. He, like, left the house to go to the store. Like, someone walked up the stairs, someone opened the door and the door closed. I am living and no one was there.

[Justin Martindale]

Oh, I love that.

[Esther Povitzky]

I don't think you're crazy. I don't think you're crazy. I don't think your house is haunted. I think that there's a family living in your house that you don't know about.

[Justin Martindale]

Oh, my God. Hoarders.

[Caitlin Riley]

What are they called?

[Justin Martindale]

Froggers.

[Esther Povitzky]

Froggers.

[Kalila]

Wait, you should really check. They really do hide in the recesses. Yeah, and maybe you don't know about little areas and compartments.

[Justin Martindale]

Like crawl space people?

[Kalila]

Yes, crawl space people drinking your milk at night.

[Caitlin Riley]

Oh, guys, it's a ghost.

[Justin Martindale]

I know.

[Kalila]

There's a whole Korean movie about this parasite. Parasite.

[Caitlin Riley]

It's a ghost.

[Kalila]

It's so weird because, like, I'm so. I think the Catholic mind will never not make you a hostage.

[Caitlin Riley]

Are you Catholic?

[Kalila]

I grew up in the Philippines, and it's like, all ghosts and exorcisms too.

[Esther Povitzky]

Uh oh, you guys are.

[Caitlin Riley]

I can't stop sticking out my tongue. I can't stop.

[Justin Martindale]

You're Filipino Catholic?

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Justin Martindale]

Are you?

[Caitlin Riley]

I'm Filipino too.

[Esther Povitzky]

You are.

[Justin Martindale]

I get that. Wait, are you Irish Catholic? Yeah, that's my fiance.

[Caitlin Riley]

We both have fiance too. Wow, look at us.

[Justin Martindale]

I know worthy Irish Catholics.

[Kalila]

So he believes in ghosts? Probably.

[Justin Martindale]

And I don't think he.

[Caitlin Riley]

It actually. It's like, against. It's. It's not okay to believe in ghosts. That it's not okay to do tarot.

[Kalila]

Then why do we do the most amount of, like, exorcism?

[Justin Martindale]

Because it's fun and we're bored. Yeah, I believe in ghosts. I, I've definitely had. Have seen some ghosts in my life, Justin. I'm very sensitive to them.

[Kalila]

Yeah, I, I, I'm with you. I think I'm really sensitive to that too. In fact, where I'm living right now, there is what I call. I don't want to say it's a ghost, but there's an aura. There is something there.

[Justin Martindale]

You know What?

[Esther Povitzky]

You didn't like it, mister, Come on.

[Kalila]

When you walked in there, did you like the. Did you like the vibe?

[Esther Povitzky]

No, but that's. Cause it was hot in there, not because an aura.

[Kalila]

There is something there that I don't feel when I'm elsewhere.

[Justin Martindale]

I have an aura ring.

[Esther Povitzky]

Me too.

[Justin Martindale]

I'm the same finger.

[Caitlin Riley]

My fingers are so skinny that I actually can't get an aura ring. That's real. I was like, oh, no, you guys don't have a four.

[Justin Martindale]

Oh, I can't.

[Caitlin Riley]

It's all the Adderall.

[Justin Martindale]

Mm, mm, mm.

[Esther Povitzky]

Wait, I thought you got married.

[Justin Martindale]

No, no, no, no. I'm getting married this year.

[Caitlin Riley]

When?

[Justin Martindale]

November.

[Caitlin Riley]

September.

[Justin Martindale]

Shut up. September what?

[Caitlin Riley]

20Th. Don't come.

[Esther Povitzky]

Don't.

[Justin Martindale]

You are not invited.

[Caitlin Riley]

You are not invited.

[Justin Martindale]

That's why it's a great day.

[Esther Povitzky]

Wait, I just realized. I got married on September 30th.

[Caitlin Riley]

Shut up.

[Esther Povitzky]

So we're like. We're together. Oh, my God.

[Caitlin Riley]

September wedding, babies. What was your wedding like?

[Esther Povitzky]

It was not really a wedding. It was a buffet. Of course.

[Justin Martindale]

Yeah.

[Caitlin Riley]

No, that would make us Buffett.

[Esther Povitzky]

No, no, no.

[Caitlin Riley]

That's hot. That's hot. It's a courthouse. I love that. Well, I'm planning a wedding right now, and I hate every goddamn fucking second of it.

[Justin Martindale]

Can I just grab. I feel you so hard. It's hard. It's hard. It's so hard.

[Caitlin Riley]

And I hate every aspect of it. And apparently everything costs $5,000.

[Justin Martindale]

Yes, everything. Minimum.

[Caitlin Riley]

Everything. Minimum.

[Justin Martindale]

Minimum.

[Caitlin Riley]

And I don't want to do it. And I want to elope. And we're getting. We're having the ceremony and reception in our house in our backyard.

[Esther Povitzky]

Oh, that's huge.

[Caitlin Riley]

And so I have to fill. Figure it the out.

[Justin Martindale]

Yeah, you got to sage that house.

[Caitlin Riley]

I know. And my sister keeps inviting people, and I'm like, 50 people, max. She's like, well, we have to invite so and so and so and so. You know, so and so's dying, so I'm going to have a dying person at my wedding again, which is such a bummer.

[Justin Martindale]

They'll stay in the house, right?

[Caitlin Riley]

No, I'm kidding. But it's. It's super stressful, and I kind of just want to, like, call it off and elope.

[Esther Povitzky]

Well, okay. So there was a moment where I thought about, like, getting married in the backyard. A small ceremony that was definitely, like, a realistic option for a while. But then I just thought about, like, people walking through the house with their shoes on and, like, it's just having it at your own house. Wait, I shouldn't be adding to this for you?

[Caitlin Riley]

Oh, no, no. I'm doing it.

[Esther Povitzky]

Okay.

[Caitlin Riley]

I bought the dress. The dress needs a party. The dress is really, really good.

[Justin Martindale]

So we're getting the save the dates out or, like, on the line.

[Caitlin Riley]

You're doing all that? How big is the wedding?

[Justin Martindale]

It's gonna be like, 120.

[Caitlin Riley]

Oh, God.

[Justin Martindale]

Why? Because he's from Georgia and it's like four family.

[Caitlin Riley]

Where are you doing it?

[Justin Martindale]

Here in la.

[Caitlin Riley]

Where?

[Justin Martindale]

Your backyard? Yeah, we just got the space. Thank you for taking the chat.

[Caitlin Riley]

I didn't. The ghost actually booked him side business.

[Esther Povitzky]

Are you worried that it'll become illegal for you to get married soon? Hopefully.

[Justin Martindale]

Is that what just. Oh, no. We just have to have a party now.

[Caitlin Riley]

How long have you guys been together?

[Justin Martindale]

Three years. It'll be four and six.

[Caitlin Riley]

Oh, wow. So you, like, don't know each other at all?

[Justin Martindale]

At all? Yeah, we just learned names last week.

[Caitlin Riley]

That's Crazy.

[Justin Martindale]

Well, no.

[Caitlin Riley]

Good luck.

[Justin Martindale]

Yeah. We know each other very, very well.

[Caitlin Riley]

Okay.

[Justin Martindale]

We live together. Okay. We have a dog together.

[Caitlin Riley]

Okay.

[Kalila]

Aw, that's huge.

[Justin Martindale]

He's my best friend. He's the best one.

[Caitlin Riley]

Awesome.

[Esther Povitzky]

Like, better than others.

[Justin Martindale]

Evan Aquarius.

[Caitlin Riley]

Okay. My fiance's name is Evan. What?

[Esther Povitzky]

You guys are getting married to the same guy?

[Justin Martindale]

Or even Catfish.

[Caitlin Riley]

Wait, what?

[Justin Martindale]

He said he was going on work trips.

[Esther Povitzky]

Evan, come on out.

[Kalila]

He's living in your crawls.

[Justin Martindale]

That's crazy.

[Caitlin Riley]

That's crazy.

[Justin Martindale]

Yeah. And Irish Catholic. Yeah.

[Kalila]

Oh, my God.

[Caitlin Riley]

Well, he doesn't know what he is. Well, he just grew up in the middle of nowhere in Texas.

[Justin Martindale]

Where in Texas? Uh.

[Caitlin Riley]

Oh, he's from Texas.

[Justin Martindale]

I'm from Texas.

[Caitlin Riley]

For a while it was like, Stephenville.

[Justin Martindale]

No.

[Caitlin Riley]

In the middle of fucking nowhere.

[Justin Martindale]

Okay.

[Esther Povitzky]

Obviously Stephenville is made up. My name is Stephen. I'm from Stevensville.

[Justin Martindale]

You can always. Texas is so big. You could literally just pick someone's name and add Ville at the end of it.

[Caitlin Riley]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Justin Martindale]

I think there's a Justin and a Martindale, Texas. It's very strange. There's probably an Esther. Texas. All of that. Kalila, Texas. It's all there.

[Esther Povitzky]

How did you meet a guy from Texas?

[Caitlin Riley]

We did come. We met doing comedy.

[Justin Martindale]

Oh, no.

[Caitlin Riley]

And he doesn't do comedy anymore. Thank God.

[Justin Martindale]

Oh, wow.

[Caitlin Riley]

Thank God. Now he does, like, art, which is great.

[Justin Martindale]

Like painting or digital.

[Caitlin Riley]

He's a motion graphics artist.

[Justin Martindale]

Oh, perfect.

[Kalila]

He said digital.

[Justin Martindale]

Digital art.

[Kalila]

Digital.

[Caitlin Riley]

Digital art's really fucking cool right now. It's. Having a moment? No. We met doing, like a comedy sket. He came over to my apartment, we were riding together, and he, like, was sitting on my couch and he looked at me and he was like, you're really funny. Like, get the fuck out. Anyway, then we fell in love.

[Esther Povitzky]

So on a date, guy took me on a 40 minute hike and about.

[Caitlin Riley]

You know what? I have a theory about that, but continue.

[Esther Povitzky]

I was just gonna say, like, I was dying and I was humiliated and I just had to, like, fight through. And I remember as soon as it was over, I, like, had to stop at a gas station and get ice cream to refuel. I was like, so.

[Kalila]

So did you have the sticky side of the mouth?

[Esther Povitzky]

You know, I get that after podcasting.

[Kalila]

Well, I get that when I'm really exhausted.

[Esther Povitzky]

I get that all the time.

[Kalila]

I like you.

[Caitlin Riley]

I have a theory when men do stuff like that. Like, let's go on a hike. Let's go. Let's do a beer run. I think it's. It's like a weird. Like, it's a subconscious, animalistic response. They need to let you know, like, I could fucking kill you. They put you in these physical situations where they are more capable than you. And for some, like, it's a subconscious thing where they need to put you in that situation to, like, assert their physical dominance.

[Esther Povitzky]

I think you're right.

[Caitlin Riley]

It's so insane.

[Justin Martindale]

But it's also a thing to see. Like, I'm gonna see if she can keep up.

[Caitlin Riley]

Yeah, fuck off, you weirdo.

[Justin Martindale]

Your virility, like, can she do this?

[Kalila]

She has the stamina to birth my child.

[Justin Martindale]

Yeah, exactly. It's that a challenge?

[Caitlin Riley]

Is she up for the test?

[Justin Martindale]

Will she get ice cream at a gas station?

[Caitlin Riley]

Hey, I actually think you want to fuck dudes.

[Justin Martindale]

Yeah.

[Caitlin Riley]

Oh, I actually think.

[Justin Martindale]

I think every straight man at this moment in time is gay.

[Esther Povitzky]

I agree.

[Kalila]

I agree.

[Esther Povitzky]

Because I agree.

[Caitlin Riley]

I agree. I agree. Every. I agree.

[Justin Martindale]

Every clip I see online. Every clip. And we've talked about this at the Comedy Store, too. Every clip is a guy being like, a lot of people think I'm gay. Stop right there. You're gay. No one says that.

[Caitlin Riley]

Is that how every straight comedian at the Comedy Store kind of opens up their new Type 5?

[Justin Martindale]

No.

[Caitlin Riley]

Like, is that what's going on?

[Justin Martindale]

Well, it's like, okay, so, for instance, I'll go on stage, have a great set. It'll be fun, of course, you know, and then the person right after me has to go up, and without a beat, it's always like, I don't know about you guys, but I think that guy's gay. And I'm just like, can you just say, good job?

[Esther Povitzky]

Yeah.

[Justin Martindale]

I don't understand.

[Esther Povitzky]

I've seen this happen to you so much.

[Justin Martindale]

You have? I've been like, esther, watch. And I won't name names, but it's that shit. And I'm like, can you just say, like, keep it going, like, awesome. It's always like. And then straight men right now love talking about their dicks.

[Caitlin Riley]

Yeah.

[Justin Martindale]

And I'm just kind of like, it's so boring. And I'm like, I get it. We get it. We get it. But also, like, every clip I'm looking at, it's just like, man, I wish I was gay.

[Caitlin Riley]

I'm like, yeah.

[Justin Martindale]

You'Re a four. We don't want you.

[Caitlin Riley]

Right?

[Esther Povitzky]

Right.

[Justin Martindale]

Just stay in your la.

[Esther Povitzky]

People always talk about how it's hard, like, for women in comedy, but I would actually say, no, we're not talking enough about, like, gay men in, like, the gross straight men Dominated Corner. Because even if you think about, like, shows like Seinfeld growing up, you know, there's a whole episode that's like, I'm not gay. That would be crazy. It's like the whole comedy bit of the episode is like, what if I were gay? Ew.

[Justin Martindale]

Yeah.

[Caitlin Riley]

Yeah.

[Esther Povitzky]

I don't know. How do you deal with that?

[Caitlin Riley]

Are you okay?

[Justin Martindale]

I'm okay. It's just annoying. Cause it's just like, oh, good for you. You found out what bottoming is two weeks ago.

[Esther Povitzky]

Yeah.

[Justin Martindale]

Like, where have you been?

[Caitlin Riley]

And what is that bottoming?

[Justin Martindale]

Well, Evan taught me about it. Your fiance.

[Caitlin Riley]

Okay.

[Justin Martindale]

Yeah, hopefully. I'm thinking it's a phase.

[Esther Povitzky]

No, it's never a phase.

[Caitlin Riley]

It's a phase. People love guys. Gay people are cool.

[Esther Povitzky]

They're not a phase.

[Caitlin Riley]

It's not a phase. They're here to stay.

[Justin Martindale]

They are happy. Pride. But it makes me laugh, too, because now I'm watching these guys and I'm like, oh, they're talking about it a lot.

[Esther Povitzky]

I'm like, why are you obsessed?

[Justin Martindale]

Why are you obsessed?

[Caitlin Riley]

Wait a second. Wait, hold on. Everyone's gay.

[Esther Povitzky]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Caitlin Riley]

This is insane. Everyone's gay.

[Kalila]

Everyone's gay.

[Caitlin Riley]

Everyone. Everyone's gay.

[Justin Martindale]

Everyone's gay.

[Esther Povitzky]

Wait, don't look at me.

[Justin Martindale]

No, you're not gay.

[Esther Povitzky]

Thank you.

[Justin Martindale]

I mean, I couldn't imagine you gay. It'd be weird.

[Kalila]

It's not weird to me at all.

[Justin Martindale]

What gay person goes on a hike and gets ice cream afterwards? No one. No one. They get a protein bar like an adult.

[Caitlin Riley]

That is a straight activity.

[Justin Martindale]

Ice cream after a hike.

[Caitlin Riley]

Very straight.

[Esther Povitzky]

Thank you.

[Justin Martindale]

Or, like, water, electrolytes, hydration. Not full on yogurt land.

[Esther Povitzky]

Wait, did you guys see that? There's gonna be a Luigi Mangioni musical?

[Justin Martindale]

Yes.

[Esther Povitzky]

You did. Of course you did.

[Justin Martindale]

Is this real?

[Caitlin Riley]

Yes.

[Esther Povitzky]

Yeah.

[Justin Martindale]

Yes. Is Andrew Garfield gonna be in it? Oh, I would give him a Tony every night.

[Caitlin Riley]

Is he gonna be. No.

[Justin Martindale]

I wish.

[Caitlin Riley]

He should.

[Justin Martindale]

Isn't it crazy? I was talking about this the other night about Luigi Mangione. He has yet to take one bad picture.

[Caitlin Riley]

He is, dare I say, go for it. Gorgeous. Yeah, he is beautiful.

[Justin Martindale]

He's beautiful.

[Esther Povitzky]

But is it the criminal glow that makes him more gorgeous?

[Justin Martindale]

I don't think so. I think now that he's in our, like, like, vision or we're noticing, like. I mean, he's just. He's just hot. And I'm not into, like, felons, but he's hot. Have I listened to Britney's mother? I'm in Love with a criminal on repeat. Yeah.

[Caitlin Riley]

That's so good.

[Justin Martindale]

So good.

[Esther Povitzky]

Fuck, I hope that's in the musical. Maybe Britney Spears is gonna write the music for the musical.

[Caitlin Riley]

That would be the best.

[Esther Povitzky]

A jukebox Luigi musical.

[Caitlin Riley]

There's nothing I hate more than a jukebox musical, by the way. There's nothing I hate. Why?

[Esther Povitzky]

I know I hate it.

[Caitlin Riley]

A jukebox like Moulin Rouge.

[Justin Martindale]

Yeah, I know.

[Caitlin Riley]

You know, where it's like, just. They throw in bad romance, like, oh.

[Justin Martindale]

Karaoke musical.

[Caitlin Riley]

Hate it.

[Esther Povitzky]

Yeah, yeah. Like, I actually. I'm cool with, like, Mamma Mia. When it's all one artist.

[Caitlin Riley]

Mamma Mia is its own thing.

[Justin Martindale]

That was the first.

[Caitlin Riley]

That's its own thing. That's abba, right? That's its own thing.

[Justin Martindale]

I don't need Satine being like, I just took a DNA test. Turned out I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. No, no, no, no, no, no.

[Esther Povitzky]

Speaking of this, though, by the way, Nicole Scherzinger got nominated for Tony. People are upset.

[Justin Martindale]

Why?

[Esther Povitzky]

Why are people upset?

[Caitlin Riley]

She's gonna lie.

[Justin Martindale]

Well, because she got the hat, girl. Get over it.

[Caitlin Riley]

I honestly feel like that was her just being really fucking stupid.

[Justin Martindale]

She is. She was a Pussycat doll. She's not a rocket scientist.

[Caitlin Riley]

You know, I don't think that was her being like, where do I get that hat?

[Justin Martindale]

Yeah.

[Caitlin Riley]

And then, like, crawling into the depths of hell. Do you know what I mean?

[Esther Povitzky]

Oh, interesting.

[Caitlin Riley]

I think she commented on that, and she was like, that's lol. Where do I get that hat? I just don't think she was thinking. She doesn't feel like a Trump supporter to me.

[Justin Martindale]

No. She's a judge of the Masked single.

[Esther Povitzky]

I saw her in Sunset Boulevard, and she.

[Justin Martindale]

Oh, you.

[Esther Povitzky]

She's getting the Tony.

[Justin Martindale]

Yeah.

[Esther Povitzky]

This is just.

[Caitlin Riley]

I hear she's amazing.

[Justin Martindale]

Did you see when, like, the. They had tech problems and she just picked up a megaphone and sang.

[Esther Povitzky]

Oh, God.

[Justin Martindale]

God. And the, like, blood at the end. I don't even know, like, how she dies. Sunset Boulevard is one of my favorite, favorite movies of all time.

[Esther Povitzky]

It's amazing.

[Caitlin Riley]

It's a great movie.

[Justin Martindale]

I love it so much.

[Caitlin Riley]

We get it.

[Justin Martindale]

Yeah, I love it. But I don't know how she dies at the end. But just, like, the fact that, like, Patti LuPone, like, originated that character, I think. I believe. And then Patti LuPone's like, I want to go see Nicole doing it.

[Caitlin Riley]

And she did.

[Justin Martindale]

And she did.

[Caitlin Riley]

Yeah. And she won't stop talking about it. Why Are people upset?

[Esther Povitzky]

Some, like, chatter online about her being like a celebrity and not like a real. But I don't know if they're giving a good performance. Like, also, Nicole Scherzinger posted on Instagram, like around the time when she was on starting the show that she always wanted to be on Broadway. Like, Pussycat Dolls was just like, you know, a stepping stone.

[Caitlin Riley]

So she accidentally became a pop star.

[Esther Povitzky]

Yeah.

[Caitlin Riley]

And then pop stars became obsolete. You have to pay the fucking bill. So she kind of just like, was this person for a while doing a hosting gig, this, that or the other. And then she gets an opportunity to do this and it's like, yeah, she turned it the fuck out.

[Kalila]

She dated Lewis Hamilton for like six years.

[Esther Povitzky]

Who is that?

[Caitlin Riley]

Is that a One Direction? Wait, I don't know anybody.

[Esther Povitzky]

No, Kalila just knows boy stuff for some reason. No, it's not.

[Kalila]

It's formula. It's F1 racing.

[Justin Martindale]

Yeah.

[Caitlin Riley]

Shut the fuck up.

[Justin Martindale]

I forgot. I forgot. Yes. I forgot.

[Caitlin Riley]

The only man in the room. You shut the fuck up. Freeze.

[Kalila]

You have to know who he is. Cause he's the only black guy in the entire thing. And he's the only non nepo baby, that can be.

[Esther Povitzky]

So now I'm racist too?

[Kalila]

Yes.

[Caitlin Riley]

Oh, wait, wait, wait. Is he an actor?

[Justin Martindale]

No, he's not.

[Caitlin Riley]

Wait, was he on. Hold on, hold on. No, he looks like the guy in. Why am I 58 years old? He looks like the guy. No, he looks like the guy in. Oh, fuck. Fuck me, Ness. Okay. Emily in Paris. Emily in Paris. He looks like one of the love interests in Emily in Paris.

[Esther Povitzky]

I think all black men look the same. No, wait, can I say, also, there's a difference between celebrity in a musical or, you know, on the stage versus stunt casting.

[Caitlin Riley]

Stunt casting.

[Kalila]

Stunt casting.

[Esther Povitzky]

Stunt casting.

[Justin Martindale]

They just throw someone in.

[Esther Povitzky]

Is like, when. How? For some reason, one of the greatest musicals of all time, Chicago. They just use that as a revolving door for like, whoever just got Anderson.

[Caitlin Riley]

But can I say that, Eric, Erika Jayne turned it the fuck out.

[Justin Martindale]

I mean, Erika Jayne is that.

[Caitlin Riley]

Yeah, well, she. Right now they have like Ashley Graham in Chicago. And apparently everyone's mad because she's so bad that it's not even fun. It's like, have someone that has a little bit of eritas, you know what I mean?

[Kalila]

So we're talking about Pam Anderson.

[Esther Povitzky]

Lisa Rinna.

[Caitlin Riley]

Ariana Maddox sold my art. Apparently. She was amazing.

[Kalila]

That's what I hear.

[Caitlin Riley]

Like, she was amazing.

[Kalila]

Who?

[Justin Martindale]

Ariana Maddox. Is that her name?

[Caitlin Riley]

Ariana Maddox.

[Justin Martindale]

Ariana.

[Kalila]

Is it?

[Caitlin Riley]

Ariana I saw her driving the other day.

[Justin Martindale]

Oh, wow.

[Esther Povitzky]

Yeah.

[Justin Martindale]

I'm really excited.

[Esther Povitzky]

We have a brand new tier to our Patreon that we are so excited to debut. Kalila, will you tell them a little bit more about it?

[Kalila]

Well, you know, at first we were like, okay, you know, let's keep it safe. This is a safe place. Let's keep it friendly and wholesome in here. But it's like, you know what? Maybe we miss our haters a little bit.

[Esther Povitzky]

Yeah, we're getting lonely over here.

[Kalila]

And guess what we've done for you.

[Esther Povitzky]

We have created the first ever Patreon hater tier. As a hater, you will be heard, you will be seen, your vote will count.

[Kalila]

We'll read the things you say. That'll hurt us. It will hurt us.

[Esther Povitzky]

So if you want to join us on the hater tier, you can click the link below or find [e-mail] trashtuesdaypodcast and if you're not a hater, we have other tiers that are just for you as well. And we have brand new bonus episodes every week. We just did an amazing episode all about, like, our friendship and some topics. Tropical stuff. So we'll see you guys at the Patreon and shout out to our golden slugs, Brandon and Thomas. And who knows, maybe we'll be shouting out our haters next.

[Kalila]

There's a lot of controversy about Nick Jonas right now because he's in, oh.

[Caitlin Riley]

The last five years. He can't sing that part. Yeah. Sorry.

[Esther Povitzky]

Wait, how do you know?

[Caitlin Riley]

Well, I love the last five.

[Esther Povitzky]

Me too. Are you a shiksa goddess?

[Caitlin Riley]

What?

[Esther Povitzky]

You're a shiksa goddess.

[Caitlin Riley]

Yeah, I can tell. There was, like, a clip of him singing and he doesn't. He. He doesn't have.

[Esther Povitzky]

Have.

[Caitlin Riley]

He doesn't have it in him.

[Justin Martindale]

Yeah, he does that.

[Esther Povitzky]

Weird.

[Caitlin Riley]

He's a pop guy. Oh, my God.

[Esther Povitzky]

I don't know.

[Caitlin Riley]

He doesn't have it.

[Esther Povitzky]

That didn't sound that bad.

[Caitlin Riley]

No, it's bad.

[Esther Povitzky]

I. But people are also upset because he's not Jewish. And it's like, famously a very Jewish role because it's a Jewish guy that falls.

[Caitlin Riley]

There's a lot of people cosplaying being Jewish these days.

[Justin Martindale]

Really?

[Caitlin Riley]

Me, obviously. Kind of feel like that's, like a thing with casting and then I'll find out, like, wait, so and so's not Jewish. That's like their whole career.

[Esther Povitzky]

No, I see that happen.

[Caitlin Riley]

It happens a lot. And I think that. I think.

[Kalila]

I think that's weird. Is adrien Brody Jewish?

[Esther Povitzky]

I don't know.

[Caitlin Riley]

I daren't say. I can't speculate. I'm not allowed.

[Justin Martindale]

He's been in two Holocaust movies.

[Kalila]

Yeah, he has to be.

[Justin Martindale]

If he's not what a gag he.

[Caitlin Riley]

Is, that would be absolutely not Jewish.

[Justin Martindale]

You're like, wait a minute.

[Caitlin Riley]

That would be crazy.

[Esther Povitzky]

Although he is Esther style Jewish, which is through his dad, only not his mom, which some people get nitpicky about that. But come for me and I will fight you on it.

[Caitlin Riley]

Are you more Jewish if it's through your mom? There's someone on my mom's side that is Jewish, so I could technically go on birthright. Yeah, I'm like a 16th Jewish.

[Kalila]

Are you not allowed on birthright?

[Esther Povitzky]

No, I'm allowed on birthright. I just didn't want to go because I was scared to go to Israel.

[Caitlin Riley]

Why.

[Justin Martindale]

Go in Queen?

[Kalila]

Same way. She's afraid of Coachella.

[Caitlin Riley]

I'm afraid of Coachella.

[Esther Povitzky]

You are?

[Justin Martindale]

I'm afraid of Coachella. I've never been and I never will.

[Caitlin Riley]

You couldn't pay me to go.

[Justin Martindale]

No.

[Caitlin Riley]

You could not pay me to go to that fucking horror fest.

[Justin Martindale]

No, Absolutely not.

[Kalila]

Are you kidding me?

[Justin Martindale]

No.

[Caitlin Riley]

Why do you.

[Esther Povitzky]

You're a pop music loving gamer.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Justin Martindale]

From my couch.

[Esther Povitzky]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The live stream.

[Justin Martindale]

I live streamed it. It was the best time ever.

[Esther Povitzky]

I know.

[Caitlin Riley]

I live streamed Charlie.

[Justin Martindale]

It was the best. If I'm going to Coachella, which I would never. I'd rather have a panic. Attacked in an overturned porta potty.

[Caitlin Riley]

Oh, my God. I could never.

[Justin Martindale]

In a minute.

[Caitlin Riley]

I know.

[Kalila]

You see, that's why I don't go into porta potties and I shit outside because it could overturn.

[Justin Martindale]

But we saw Gaga doing the thing and like walking and then there's that camera guy, like just walking around her. And I got to see what the camera guy was seeing and it was fantastic.

[Esther Povitzky]

Who do you think is the best Coachella headliner of all time?

[Kalila]

Beyonce. I was there for that one.

[Caitlin Riley]

Oh, I. I would have loved.

[Kalila]

I couldn't believe it.

[Caitlin Riley]

I'm like cellularly so upset that I did not see that in person.

[Esther Povitzky]

I'll say this, I'll say that the Beyonce Coachella set was one of my favorite Beyonce sets I've ever seen.

[Caitlin Riley]

Would you agree? Do you not like Beyonce?

[Justin Martindale]

No, I do. I might be seeing her on Sunday.

[Esther Povitzky]

We like Beyonce.

[Caitlin Riley]

What do you mean you might be seeing her on Sunday?

[Justin Martindale]

The reason I might go to Beyonce is that my friend, her daughter is friends with Blue Ivy Carter.

[Caitlin Riley]

So you're friends with Gwyneth Paltrow, and.

[Justin Martindale]

So we might be going to the concert.

[Caitlin Riley]

Who's your friend?

[Justin Martindale]

I'm not here. She's just. They go to school together.

[Caitlin Riley]

Are you friends with Grandpa?

[Justin Martindale]

No. No. No. But I have seen her eat at Connie and Ted's once.

[Esther Povitzky]

Gwyneth did.

[Kalila]

Connie and Ted's close?

[Justin Martindale]

No.

[Esther Povitzky]

You said it better not be there. Gwen if at Connie and Ted's.

[Justin Martindale]

Yeah, she ate one oyster. No, I don't know. I don't know what she ate. But. No, I wanted to ask you because a lot of people are talking about Blue ivy, like, being 13 years old. I.

[Caitlin Riley]

13.

[Justin Martindale]

She's 13. Okay. And she looks like she's 25.

[Caitlin Riley]

Well, she's very tall.

[Justin Martindale]

She's very tall. Very talented.

[Esther Povitzky]

I have a quick question. When are we gonna stop equating age and height? Why is it if someone is tall, they look older? And why is it if someone is short, they look young? Why can't we learn that all ages can be any height?

[Caitlin Riley]

I wish I was shorter.

[Esther Povitzky]

Thanks.

[Justin Martindale]

Wow.

[Caitlin Riley]

I wish I was shorter.

[Esther Povitzky]

How tall are you?

[Caitlin Riley]

I'm five six. I'm like that middle.

[Esther Povitzky]

That, like, boring, you mean the perfect height for everyone? It's so boring. No, no, no, no, no.

[Caitlin Riley]

Why won't anyone except me spinning and having big tits. No, it's that boring. It's that boring height of like. I'm not tall.

[Esther Povitzky]

Oh, my God. Shut the fuck up.

[Caitlin Riley]

Shut the fuck up. I'm not tall. I'm not short. If I was shorter, I feel like I'd be. Be spunkier and cuter and hotter.

[Esther Povitzky]

No, you have dead ass.

[Caitlin Riley]

Fucking serious. I think short girls are really hot. I love short girls.

[Justin Martindale]

Short girl summer.

[Caitlin Riley]

Yes.

[Esther Povitzky]

It's never happening.

[Caitlin Riley]

You either have to be tall or short. The middle. It's like being like a brunette girl with brown eyes named Ashley.

[Esther Povitzky]

No, the middle. No, you mean. You mean the girls that always are taken. The girls who always have a lover.

[Caitlin Riley]

No, no, it's like that girl on TikTok where you're like. She's. She, you know, she's like a, you know, like a. A food prep influencer, right? And you, like, really like her vibe. And you're like. You follow her and her name's like, Ashley Jane. You're like, oh, my God, I love Ashley Jane. And then like, ashley Jane's getting married. And you're like, oh, my God, good for Ashley Jane. And then it's like the fiance or husband reveal, and it's like the ugliest motherfucker.

[Justin Martindale]

A toad? Yeah.

[Caitlin Riley]

A fucking bridge troll.

[Justin Martindale]

That's Steve, the fucking roach guy from Men in Black.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Justin Martindale]

Sugar water.

[Esther Povitzky]

Yeah. You guys, don't be mean. Steve and Ashley have been my only friends this past year. Okay. They're getting me through a really hard time.

[Caitlin Riley]

I'm sorry.

[Esther Povitzky]

Your fiance is Evan taller than you?

[Caitlin Riley]

He's taller than me, but he has a weird thing where he think. He thinks or I think he wants to think I'm taller than I am. So we've been together for seven years and he's like, you're like. You're like five, eight, right? I'm like, no, babe. I'm like, five, five, five, six. He's like, no, come on. No, you're taller than that. Come on. You're taller than that. I was like, no.

[Esther Povitzky]

And he says this while you guys are having sex. He's like, you're five, eight. You're five, eight.

[Caitlin Riley]

Yeah. I feel like he wants me to be taller. 5 5.

[Esther Povitzky]

Have you guys seen on TikTok? We're obsessed with these. Like, I'm bored. Tell me your most unhinged. Whatever.

[Caitlin Riley]

Oh yeah, I have a lot of those.

[Esther Povitzky]

We found one.

[Justin Martindale]

Wait, what is this trend? I don't know.

[Esther Povitzky]

Okay, so basically it's like, I'm bored. Tell me your most unhinged. And for this one, it's what is the weirdest thing you're attracted to? And so then everyone comments and then the cream rises to the top. So we. We're gonna read you.

[Justin Martindale]

Okay. Okay.

[Esther Povitzky]

Okay. So one is I love guys with Happy trails. That's not that weird.

[Kalila]

That's not that weird.

[Caitlin Riley]

Weird.

[Justin Martindale]

No, that can be hot.

[Caitlin Riley]

I fucking hate whoever said that because they're just trying to fish. But also like, that's really hot on anybody.

[Esther Povitzky]

Yeah, even on me things.

[Justin Martindale]

But also all caps.

[Esther Povitzky]

We get it when they are mad and do the jaw thing.

[Kalila]

The jaw thing.

[Caitlin Riley]

I'm assuming.

[Esther Povitzky]

I've never seen that.

[Kalila]

This is like a 16 year old writing this.

[Caitlin Riley]

This feels like fan fiction when they.

[Esther Povitzky]

Know the most random facts that nobody would even think about looking into.

[Justin Martindale]

Okay, shut up.

[Caitlin Riley]

Up. No, no. Like a child wrote this.

[Kalila]

Yes, a child wrote this. I'm like, I agree with all.

[Caitlin Riley]

I mean, but. But it's. But it's low hanging fruit.

[Esther Povitzky]

Like it's not that.

[Caitlin Riley]

When they're. When they love dogs.

[Justin Martindale]

Yeah, but what does that, what does that mean? It's like, did you guys know butterflies lifespans are three weeks? Like, yeah, yeah. Like what does that mean?

[Esther Povitzky]

That's how low the bar is.

[Caitlin Riley]

I actually hate it when men spew random facts about things they know. I'm immediately, like, shucking the fuck up. Nobody asked David.

[Esther Povitzky]

It is when it's too random where you know that they were just waiting to say exactly.

[Caitlin Riley]

No, they're trying to be like a. Like a. A manic pixie dream guy. It's like a new. It's not the girl anymore. It's the manic pixie guy.

[Justin Martindale]

What is. Okay, I love.

[Caitlin Riley]

Oh, my God.

[Esther Povitzky]

Like a man that wants attention for being quirky.

[Justin Martindale]

Yes.

[Caitlin Riley]

No, I've dated about.

[Esther Povitzky]

About three of those.

[Caitlin Riley]

And it's something else.

[Esther Povitzky]

Okay. When they look lost and kind of miserable, this is like, stupid.

[Kalila]

This is court of thorns.

[Caitlin Riley]

This is fiction.

[Justin Martindale]

What is that, like fairy sex?

[Kalila]

Yeah. Okay, what's our next one I agree with, though?

[Esther Povitzky]

What is it?

[Kalila]

Saying your name unexpectedly. This is a manipulation. This is like, very classic car salesman tactic that people do if they like.

[Caitlin Riley]

Supermarket and they're like, like, caitlin, I'm.

[Kalila]

Telling you guys, look it up. When someone says your government name unexpectedly during a conversation and it catches you off guard. It is a car salesman tactic.

[Caitlin Riley]

Oh, I don't mean that. I mean, like, in public. If, like, if we're in the market and, like, I get not lost the market. Like, if we're shopping together and I'm over here and he's trying to get my attention, I hear Caitlyn. I'm like, oh, yeah. Oh, I thought he was, like, at a party.

[Kalila]

Like, you didn't think he knew your name? And then he says your name and.

[Esther Povitzky]

You'Re like, like, first of all, you're a loser. You are so a loser. You're such a loser.

[Justin Martindale]

What an uplifting room.

[Esther Povitzky]

Wait, wait, A guy, like, knows your name?

[Justin Martindale]

No, I'll do full name.

[Esther Povitzky]

You're pretty. You're pretty. You're pretty.

[Justin Martindale]

I'll do full name sometimes.

[Esther Povitzky]

What do you mean?

[Justin Martindale]

First, middle, last. Wow, it's kind of hot.

[Esther Povitzky]

Oh, like.

[Justin Martindale]

Like, if I'm trying to leave somewhere. Because Evan, he's a. He's a talker. He's a chatter. He likes getting to know people. He's more extroverted than I am, which is weird. A lot of people think that it's the opposite. And like, if he'll. If he's talking with people and I'm like, we gotta go, we gotta go. I'm like, evan, I'll say the full name. And he's like, oh, gotta go, gotta go.

[Esther Povitzky]

What version are you talking about it?

[Kalila]

I'm talking about when I guess it doesn't have to be a significant other, and you're just in the room with someone. And I always clock it when someone's, like, says my name a little bit too much. Where they're.

[Esther Povitzky]

Yes, it's salesman tactic.

[Caitlin Riley]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

Where I'm like, I know exactly what that is.

[Esther Povitzky]

You know, Kalila, here's what I think.

[Kalila]

Exactly.

[Caitlin Riley]

Oh, oh, oh, oh. Yeah. That's really patronizing.

[Kalila]

Yeah. There's something that. It sets off my alarms for some reason where I'm like, what are you getting?

[Esther Povitzky]

I've noticed, like, nutritionists or, like, people like that will do it. Like, people who are, like, trying to sell me a diet plan.

[Kalila]

Yes, yes. It's like ML, mlm. It's. It's literally like, anytime. Arbonne. Arbonne. People, I think, are taught to be like, Esther.

[Caitlin Riley]

Is that still around?

[Kalila]

I don't know. But all my soul cycle instructors got caught up in Arbonne.

[Esther Povitzky]

Yeah. They got.

[Justin Martindale]

What is that?

[Esther Povitzky]

It's like mlm. Multi Level Marketing. Makeup sales. Yeah. It was a really sad time in my life when I thought the pretty pop physique teacher wanted to hang out with me. But then I got there, and there was a pyramid on the screen my.

[Caitlin Riley]

Mom used to buy Arbon on.

[Esther Povitzky]

Really?

[Caitlin Riley]

Yeah. My mom also thought that she had, like, an Internet boyfriend who was a prince in Zimbabwe.

[Justin Martindale]

Yeah, I get that.

[Caitlin Riley]

Yeah, Mama, I know.

[Justin Martindale]

We're getting. We have to tell our moms to, like, teach our moms about catfishers.

[Caitlin Riley]

Yeah.

[Justin Martindale]

We're at that age.

[Kalila]

Yeah. The other day, my mom was like, did you know that Kim Kardashian is transitioning?

[Justin Martindale]

Oh.

[Esther Povitzky]

And I'm like, she did not say that.

[Kalila]

Yeah, she really believes it. Why'd you read that? She. She goes, Facebook. And I'm like, oh, no, my mom.

[Justin Martindale]

Wow.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Esther Povitzky]

They get the best.

[Kalila]

You gotta coach your parents.

[Caitlin Riley]

My sisters are getting there. My sisters are sort of in the Gen X bracket, so they're like, in their mid-50s.

[Esther Povitzky]

Wait, what?

[Caitlin Riley]

There's a huge age gap in my family.

[Esther Povitzky]

How huge?

[Caitlin Riley]

I have four older sisters. My youngest sister is 19 years older than me.

[Esther Povitzky]

Same mom or just same dad.

[Caitlin Riley]

So it's two sisters, same mom, different dad, and then two sisters, same dad, different mom. So the Brady Bunch, they got married Brady Bunch and then had me and just you. Just me.

[Justin Martindale]

Wow.

[Caitlin Riley]

Yeah. So it's like if the Brady Bunch had a baby.

[Esther Povitzky]

This is a familiar concept.

[Caitlin Riley]

I was conceived in a doctor's office in Beverly Hills.

[Esther Povitzky]

No.

[Caitlin Riley]

I was artificially inseminated in 1989.

[Esther Povitzky]

But not IVF or. Yes. IVF.

[Caitlin Riley]

It wasn't IVF. It was like. It was artificial insemination.

[Kalila]

IUI yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Justin Martindale]

Or your parents. Doctors off office.

[Esther Povitzky]

Yeah. Which one is it?

[Justin Martindale]

Yeah. No.

[Caitlin Riley]

Well, when my mom would get drunk at dinner party, she would tell people that I was conceived in Ireland, which is a lie. She said that for years.

[Justin Martindale]

I love that.

[Esther Povitzky]

How old was your mom when she had you?

[Caitlin Riley]

42.

[Justin Martindale]

Wow.

[Caitlin Riley]

Yeah. And then my dad was 55.

[Justin Martindale]

Wow.

[Kalila]

Old sperm really does. Wait, how old was your dad when he had us? In his 60s. And then. Yeah, my dad is. I say this every podcast, but he would have been 101 this year.

[Caitlin Riley]

Wow.

[Kalila]

1924, he was born.

[Caitlin Riley]

Wow. 1934.

[Justin Martindale]

Wow.

[Kalila]

When dad was a teenager in, like, the depression.

[Justin Martindale]

Wow.

[Caitlin Riley]

That's fucking nuts.

[Justin Martindale]

Jealous.

[Caitlin Riley]

Yeah. I go through the ages of like, how old my dad was in every single decade, and it's like the perfect age for that decade. Like in the 70s, he was like 32. Like so cool, right? How cool is that?

[Kalila]

I know nothing about Broadway. So you guys are gonna play this game.

[Justin Martindale]

Oh, there's a game? Oh, we have to do the game.

[Esther Povitzky]

Okay, so we're playing musical charades.

[Justin Martindale]

Okay.

[Kalila]

Okay, first one. Ready, guys?

[Justin Martindale]

Phantom of the Opera.

[Kalila]

Good one. I'm just gonna pull this all out.

[Justin Martindale]

Yeah. When I pull out, I swipe next clip.

[Kalila]

Oh, okay. This one.

[Justin Martindale]

Book of Mormon. Yeah, you got that one. That was good.

[Esther Povitzky]

I can't compete with.

[Justin Martindale]

You're good at this. Aladdin Jazzercise.

[Caitlin Riley]

Oh, Little Mermaid.

[Justin Martindale]

Little Mermaid. Oh, wow.

[Kalila]

Yeah, wow.

[Caitlin Riley]

Counting seven brides for seven brothers.

[Justin Martindale]

Oh, six.

[Kalila]

Okay, this one, I have to visually act out.

[Justin Martindale]

Hair.

[Kalila]

Think poster.

[Justin Martindale]

Jesus Christ Superstar.

[Esther Povitzky]

Sad, sad girls. Sad girls had girls in their hairs being pulled.

[Caitlin Riley]

Mean girls.

[Esther Povitzky]

Wait, Les Mis.

[Kalila]

Yes.

[Justin Martindale]

What was it?

[Esther Povitzky]

Les Mis. Finally.

[Justin Martindale]

Oh, Les Mis. Did you just do Cosette in the poster?

[Caitlin Riley]

Wow. So good.

[Justin Martindale]

That was really good.

[Kalila]

I was really trying.

[Caitlin Riley]

I can't believe you got that.

[Esther Povitzky]

Really?

[Caitlin Riley]

That's crazy.

[Esther Povitzky]

Little old me.

[Justin Martindale]

I'm like Meredith Marks.

[Kalila]

This one's gonna be really hard for me. Me.

[Justin Martindale]

Hairspray crease.

[Kalila]

Yes.

[Esther Povitzky]

Oh, God.

[Kalila]

You guys are really good.

[Esther Povitzky]

You're good at this.

[Caitlin Riley]

You're good at this.

[Esther Povitzky]

I would not be doing it.

[Justin Martindale]

Try a really hard one that you don't know.

[Kalila]

Yeah, I'll do the really hard one. Let's do this one first. Cuz it's not as. As hard.

[Justin Martindale]

Yeah.

[Caitlin Riley]

The Lion King.

[Justin Martindale]

That one's so easy.

[Esther Povitzky]

That was too easy.

[Kalila]

Wait, you didn't. You didn't.

[Caitlin Riley]

It's too easy.

[Kalila]

Okay, all Right.

[Justin Martindale]

The ghost in Caitlyn's attic.

[Esther Povitzky]

There she is.

[Kalila]

Oh, God. I can't do any of these. Let's try.

[Esther Povitzky]

Let's try.

[Kalila]

Okay, let's try.

[Justin Martindale]

Don't you fret.

[Kalila]

Wait. Sorry, guys. Give me a second.

[Caitlin Riley]

You can't just pull all of them out.

[Justin Martindale]

I know.

[Esther Povitzky]

Yeah, you have to. Okay.

[Kalila]

Okay. This one.

[Caitlin Riley]

Sweeney Todd.

[Kalila]

Yes.

[Caitlin Riley]

Wow.

[Justin Martindale]

That was like.

[Caitlin Riley]

I know.

[Kalila]

You have to make the pies.

[Justin Martindale]

Yeah.

[Caitlin Riley]

I just had a feeling.

[Justin Martindale]

That felt really good.

[Caitlin Riley]

The pies have humans in them.

[Kalila]

You want to act these out, Justin, and try? Because these ones are pretty hard.

[Esther Povitzky]

Yeah, let's see. Justin, give it a go.

[Justin Martindale]

Oh, okay.

[Esther Povitzky]

Act out.

[Kalila]

No. Sounds okay.

[Esther Povitzky]

Filming Sunset Boulevard.

[Caitlin Riley]

Snoozies. Springtime for Hitler.

[Esther Povitzky]

Oh, the Producers. Nice.

[Caitlin Riley]

That was pretty good. That was good.

[Justin Martindale]

Oh, my God. Is Springtime for Hitler pretty good? Esther doesn't go to Israel. Springtime for Hitler.

[Caitlin Riley]

Okay, I don't know how to act this out, but I guess I'm going to do, like. So, first part.

[Esther Povitzky]

Tiny walking, crawling bugs.

[Justin Martindale]

Bugs, bugs, bugs.

[Esther Povitzky]

What's Life?

[Justin Martindale]

The musical bugs.

[Caitlin Riley]

Second part. Mm.

[Justin Martindale]

Oh. Beetlejuice.

[Caitlin Riley]

Yes.

[Esther Povitzky]

Oh, nice.

[Caitlin Riley]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

Esther.

[Justin Martindale]

We're going on the road, guys.

[Esther Povitzky]

I suck at this. Oh, that's. Oh, it's so good. Hold on.

[Justin Martindale]

Oh, she's getting up. She's getting up. Oh, Cabaret.

[Caitlin Riley]

Kinky boots.

[Justin Martindale]

Chicago. Sweet. Okay. Oh, yeah. The name on everybody's lips is gonna be Est. I'm gonna get an ice cream sandwich after my hike, and I'm gonna.

[Caitlin Riley]

You should do Chicago.

[Esther Povitzky]

Are you kidding? I would die. I would love to.

[Justin Martindale]

This would be so good.

[Esther Povitzky]

I need to kill someone.

[Caitlin Riley]

Calling an agent.

[Esther Povitzky]

I. Literally, the only way for me to be famous enough to be in it is to murder my husband.

[Caitlin Riley]

No, you need to have, like, a. You need to. You need to do something real bad. You need to do something real bad.

[Justin Martindale]

Okay, okay. One. Okay. It's okay.

[Kalila]

I can do it.

[Justin Martindale]

I'm gonna act out one of the songs. Okay.

[Kalila]

Yes.

[Justin Martindale]

Okay. Hey.

[Kalila]

Great one. Great.

[Esther Povitzky]

Hairspray.

[Caitlin Riley]

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Gypsy, gypsy, gypsy.

[Esther Povitzky]

I'm running away. I'm sewing.

[Justin Martindale]

What the fuck?

[Esther Povitzky]

Oh, Sound of Music.

[Justin Martindale]

Yeah. Good job.

[Kalila]

Good.

[Justin Martindale]

It was like. Oh, good. More Nazis for me.

[Esther Povitzky]

Perfect.

[Caitlin Riley]

You look the part of Nazis.

[Esther Povitzky]

You would play an amazing Nazi.

[Justin Martindale]

Producers and Sound of Music.

[Caitlin Riley]

Oh, I did this in college.

[Esther Povitzky]

Okay. Flex.

[Justin Martindale]

Ayahuasca.

[Caitlin Riley]

No.

[Esther Povitzky]

Anal.

[Caitlin Riley]

Yeah, I did anal for three years before I ever had sex. No, I'm kidding. I don't know how to act this out.

[Esther Povitzky]

You're looking around, you're looking Outside of the hole.

[Justin Martindale]

Keep going.

[Esther Povitzky]

Groundhog Day.

[Justin Martindale]

Eat, Mama, eat.

[Esther Povitzky]

Running.

[Justin Martindale]

Redwood by Atina Mensels Close, close, close. Into the woods.

[Caitlin Riley]

Oh, my God. I was like, I don't know how to do this.

[Esther Povitzky]

Nothing can stop him. Wait, how can. Last one. Last one.

[Justin Martindale]

And then I wanted to be like, yeah.

[Esther Povitzky]

Thank you for giving me all my favorite projects.

[Justin Martindale]

Driving Miss Daisy.

[Caitlin Riley]

Everything's a musical. Driving Bonnie and Clyde. Okay, you can't spell it out here.

[Esther Povitzky]

I'm not spelling it out. I'm. I'm.

[Kalila]

Maybe you can do one sound.

[Esther Povitzky]

What? Would that even help me?

[Caitlin Riley]

Beep, boop, beep, boop, boop, boop, boop. Oh, is Spider man the musical newsies? No, Star. There isn't a Star wars musical.

[Justin Martindale]

Oh, right.

[Caitlin Riley]

Back to the Future.

[Esther Povitzky]

Yes. Wow, that's too hard.

[Caitlin Riley]

Back to the Future.

[Esther Povitzky]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

Oh, I thought it was an 80s computer sound.

[Esther Povitzky]

I thought DeLorean, and I was done like this. Oh, you're right. I got too overwhelmed. I was drawing the flux capacitor.

[Justin Martindale]

Oh, right, right. I get. I got that.

[Esther Povitzky]

What the is that?

[Justin Martindale]

It's the flux capacitor. It's the whole purpose of time travel.

[Caitlin Riley]

Details about movies like.

[Esther Povitzky]

Okay, well, we're going to watch it after this. I'm coming over. You guys, thank you so much to our amazing guests. Please come back every week. We love you so much. Justin Martindale. Caitlin Riley. Are you guys on tour? Where can people see you? What do we do?

[Caitlin Riley]

You can see me out there.

[Esther Povitzky]

Out there at her wedding.

[Caitlin Riley]

Out there. Got some things in the works that I cannot currently discuss. Thank you so much.

[Esther Povitzky]

Project.

[Caitlin Riley]

Yeah. Sworn to secrecy. You'll find out soon.

[Justin Martindale]

I have projects as well. And also follow me on Instagram at Justin Martindale. So, yeah, just follow me and you.

[Caitlin Riley]

Can find me on Instagram on. Hi, Caitlin Riley.

[Esther Povitzky]

And Justin has a podcast.

[Justin Martindale]

Oh, yeah, my podcast. Just saying. With Justin Mardell. Yes.

[Esther Povitzky]

Super funny.

[Justin Martindale]

I'd love to have you on. Come, come, come. I've tried to get Esther.

[Esther Povitzky]

I will be there. I will be there soon. And slugs. Thank you so much for being here. We love you. And we'll see you next week with a brand new episode.

[Caitlin Riley]

How come you haven't been on his podcast?

[Esther Povitzky]

I'm gonna. I'm gonna.

[Justin Martindale]

That was really fun. Oh, that was really fun. I could just sit and talk all day with you guys.