Young, Hot and Funny w/ Ali Macofsky & Stef Dag

Summary

Podcast Summary: Trash Tuesday w/ Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn
Episode: Young, Hot and Funny w/ Ali Macofsky & Stef Dag
Release Date: July 8, 2025

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Introduction

In the July 8, 2025 episode of Trash Tuesday, hosts Esther Povitsky and Khalyla Kuhn, along with guest Ali Macofsky and Stef Dag, delve into a candid and humorous exploration of body image, eating habits, relationships, and personal growth. The conversation is marked by their signature blend of comedy and raw honesty, appealing to their audience of “Sexy Little Ugly Girls” (S.L.U.G.S) seeking relatability and unfiltered discussions.

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1. Body Image and Eating Habits

The episode opens with a light-hearted discussion about wellness spas, specifically WI Spa, highlighting societal pressures related to body image.

• Esther Povitsky mentions her apprehension about spas:

  “The only time, the most recent time I went actually was the first time. It pissed me off cuz there were like two girls there with like perfect little bodies and I was like, you're not supposed to be here.” (00:49)

• Ali Macofsky and Khalyla Kuhn discuss the influence of parental attitudes on body image:

  “You have to have, like, only bad girls.” (05:32)

The conversation shifts to the concept of the "Skinny Society"—a social media trend promoting portion control without advocating for eating disorders.

• Khalyla Kuhn critiques the trend:

  “She won't let me subscribe to her, like, private channel.” (02:38)

• Ali Macofsky shares her personal journey with an eating disorder:

  “One of my main takeaways is there are no bad foods.” (05:32)

The hosts reflect on their struggles with emotional eating and the societal expectations to maintain a certain physique.

• Esther Povitsky reads a book titled Easy Way to Quit Emotional Eating by Alan Carr, emphasizing the importance of listening to one’s body:

  “If I go to a restaurant and they give me a big old plate, I'm like, they want me to finish all of this.” (06:57)

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2. Relationships and Dating

The discussion transitions to the dynamics of modern relationships, particularly focusing on red flags and personal preferences.

• Khalyla Kuhn shares her experience with being labeled a misogynist after a comedic rant:

  “Em Rada called me a misogynist.” (18:27)

• The hosts debate the allure and pitfalls of dating behaviors, such as men who overly critique diet choices:

  “I want a guy who's concerned that I haven't eaten disorder, you know?” (59:28)

• Esther Povitsky humorously describes her boyfriend’s fast-food preferences as a "red flag," highlighting the clash between personal health views and relationship dynamics:

  “His diet is that of a 12-year-old.” (57:33)

The conversation also touches on cultural fetishization in dating, specifically the overemphasis on dating Asian women by white men.

• Kalila criticizes the fetishization, linking it to problematic stereotypes:

  “It all stems from that same passport bro mentality and the fetishization of it all.” (47:53)

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3. Personal Growth and Self-Awareness

The hosts reflect on their experiences with cancel culture and the challenges of maintaining authentic self-expression.

• Ali Macofsky discusses being misunderstood during off-the-cuff moments and the impact of being labeled negatively:

  “That rant I did on Subway Takes was kind of like, me off the cuff.” (41:13)

• Esther Povitsky acknowledges regrets about comments made regarding her sister’s health struggles:

  “I shouldn't have said my sister should have shaved her head by claiming she has had cancer.” (38:45)

• The conversation emphasizes the importance of setting personal boundaries while engaging in comedy and candid discussions.

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4. Travel and Personal Hobbies

The hosts share their travel experiences, particularly focusing on solitary trips to Barcelona and the personal fulfillment derived from such adventures.

• Khalyla Kuhn recounts her solo trip to Barcelona, highlighting the joy of forming new connections and finding solitude:

  “I would talk to strangers and I made so many friends.” (30:15)

• Esther Povitsky expresses a humorous fear of unsolicited advances while journaling in public places:

  “I hate to journal in public.” (31:06)

The discussion underscores the balance between public persona and private self, illustrating the challenges of maintaining authenticity while exploring personal interests.

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5. Parenting and Future Plans

Towards the end of the episode, the conversation shifts to future aspirations related to parenting and the ideal support systems desired.

• Esther Povitsky expresses her desire for a supportive parenting team, emphasizing the necessity of nannies:

  “I want to have a kid, but I want to have, like, nannies and a team.” (37:35)

• Khalyla Kuhn humorously mentions her preference for raising a gay son, intertwining humor with personal views:

  “I'm gonna raise him gay.” (37:57)

The hosts discuss the societal expectations surrounding motherhood and the importance of having a reliable support network to facilitate parenting.

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6. Humor and Light-Hearted Banter

Throughout the episode, the hosts engage in playful banter and humorous exchanges, maintaining an entertaining and relatable atmosphere.

• Esther Povitsky and Ali Macofsky joke about personal habits and preferences, such as fast-food orders and dating quirks:

  “I get extra pickles. I love a damn extra pickle.” (58:31)

• The group shares amusing anecdotes about dating experiences in foreign countries, further showcasing their comedic chemistry.

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Notable Quotes

• Esther Povitsky on body image:

  “I'm a girl who doesn’t want attention, but I'm trying to, like.” (20:35)

• Khalyla Kuhn on relationships:

  “I want a guy who's concerned that I haven't eaten disorder, you know?" (59:28)

• Ali Macofsky on cancel culture:

  “I just have never really come from that.” (63:31)

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Conclusion

The episode of Trash Tuesday featuring Ali Macofsky and Stef Dag offers an unfiltered look into the hosts' lives, blending humor with serious discussions on body image, relationships, and personal growth. Through their honest and often comedic exchanges, Esther Povitsky and Khalyla Kuhn create a space where listeners can find solace in shared experiences, laughter in relatable struggles, and inspiration in the journey towards self-acceptance.

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Timestamp references correspond to the minutes and seconds in the provided transcript.

Transcript

[Ally]

So your. Your T shirt says WI spa.

[Esther]

Yeah, I took it from WI spa.

[Kila]

I've never been. Oh my God, do I need to go?

[Esther]

You have to go.

[Kila]

Really?

[Kalila]

Absolutely. And you need to go with a pro. If Ally, you're a pro, I would take you.

[Kila]

You should go.

[Esther]

I would happily take you.

[Kalila]

And she has to give you the breakdown of each of the rooms.

[Esther]

Okay.

[Kila]

Playroom.

[Kalila]

The jade room.

[Kila]

I lived for a year and a half. I never went. Oh yeah, I thought it was like a gross, sketchy.

[Esther]

It can be. It can be.

[Ally]

If you ask Esther, I've never been. I'm not even bougie, but I'm like scared of it.

[Esther]

What? What element of it scares you?

[Ally]

Nudity. From myself and from others.

[Esther]

No, but I think that that's why you have to go. Anyone who's like, I don't want to get naked. Yes. Because everyone's body there is so freaking weird that you're like, okay.

[Kila]

I mean, I wouldn't go if I was bloated.

[Esther]

You. That's when you should go.

[Kila]

Well then I'll never go. I'm always bloated.

[Esther]

The only time, the most recent time I went actually was the first time. It pissed me off cuz there were like two girls there with like perfect little bodies and I was like, you're not supposed to be here.

[Kalila]

Go away. Go home.

[Esther]

This isn't for you.

[Ally]

When I'm showing up, shout out to our golden slugs, Brandon and Thomas. Hello, slugs. The rumors are true. We have a patreon. And this patreon is giving, if I may say, if I may compliment myself and Kila. We also have bonus content every week. I know. Last week we had a vlog, me at the Comedy Store with Bobby. We usually have bonus episodes and we just share a lot more behind the scenes on the Patreon. I highly recommend it if you're a super fan.

[Esther]

Hey guys, it's me, Esther. I'm officially on tour. You can get tickets now at the link below at Pretty Little Baby tour dot com. I'm coming to Madison, Portland, Seattle, Olympia, Denver, Boston, New York and Philly on the Pretty Little Baby tour. Use pre sale code Pretty Baby to have first access to tickets. Wednesday, July 9th at 11:00am local time. Okay, thank you, slugs. Bye.

[Kila]

Do you guys know this girl on Instagram, the Skinny Society?

[Esther]

No.

[Ally]

I think I see her sometimes and I try not to look, but want to.

[Kila]

I actually kind of like her.

[Esther]

She's.

[Kila]

What does she do? She's just like skinny as a mindset. And you can eat anything you want, but just, like, eat in portions. Like, don't pig out. It's giving. Like piggy at the farm girl. And I'm like, so true. And then whatever product she posts, I buy, but she won't let me subscribe. I think she thinks I'm like, making fun of her, so she won't let me subscribe to her, like, private channel.

[Ally]

She won't let you?

[Kila]

I don't. Every time I try, it says, like, this isn't available to you. And then I'm dming her like, hey, girl, can I subscribe? And she's not answering.

[Esther]

Trying to get skinny queen.

[Kila]

She. And she won't let me. So true. She was kicked off Tik Tok. Yes. You know her.

[Kalila]

Wait, tell me.

[Esther]

I'm in the dark, cuz I think.

[Kila]

They thought she was fat phobic.

[Esther]

I mean, it sounds like she a.

[Ally]

Little bit pro anorexia kind of stuff.

[Kila]

But she's actually not.

[Ally]

Yeah. Then what? Heather was the big drama, which was Remy Bader used to, like, hate on this girl and be like, you're hating, you know, fat people, shaming, whatever. And then Remy Bader came out, lost all the weight, and was basically, like, saying all the things that the skinny society girl was saying. And so it was just like, it was. She.

[Kila]

She really doesn't. She doesn't say, starve yourself. She's like, eat everything. Like, don't worry about carbs. Just like, maybe don't eat the full portion at the American restaurant that gives you five portions.

[Ally]

You know who's the originator?

[Esther]

Like, my mom.

[Kalila]

All our moms.

[Ally]

I will throw my mom versus your mom any day. My mom will take your mom. You think she just showed up to my house and goes, oh, Ace is. Looks like she's thinning out a little.

[Kila]

Stop your baby.

[Esther]

Yeah. Oh, my God.

[Kila]

Yeah. My mom's. My mom's an immigrant mom. She's also.

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Ally]

Is your mom. She does it to you?

[Esther]

Yeah, Yeah. I told my mom how much I weighed, and she goes, you don't really need more than two meals a day.

[Kila]

I mean, my mom always says it's. It's actually really good to feel skinny. Yeah, she's never been fatter.

[Esther]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ally]

I get it from both my mom and my dad. Like, I remember my dad would be like, sometimes you should just skip dinner, see how you feel. It's good. It's good to just sometimes skip dinner.

[Esther]

Yeah, that's. So my dad's on Ozempic. Really?

[Kila]

So is mine, but for Diabetes.

[Esther]

My dad's on it.

[Ally]

Way to flex that. You know, someone on it for legitimate reasons.

[Kila]

I know for diabetes. He can't get it because all these girls in la.

[Esther]

Because my dad. My dad's trying to get skinny.

[Kila]

Your dad is part of Skinny Society. He's subscribed for sure.

[Ally]

But so here's the thing. There is an original Skinny Society who literally. And you're. I'm so excited to share this, but the person who wrote a book about this kind of diet, which was, like, just having a skinny mentality. Right. It was not promoting eating disorders. It's just like, have everything. Just have a look. Bethenny Frankel. Yeah, she had a book, and it was. It actually really helped me. And it. I have to say it, like, mirrored a lot of this because I went to eating disorder school.

[Esther]

Okay. Brag.

[Ally]

I know. Well, it was like a hospital. What would you call, like, a rehab center?

[Kila]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Eating disorder school is a really nice way to say rehab.

[Kalila]

It was a hospital.

[Kila]

It was a BA program.

[Kalila]

Hospital for the funny girls.

[Ally]

It was me and a lot of anorexic teens, and I loved every second of it. But, like, the main thing they teach you. One of my main takeaways is there are no bad foods. You should have, like, only bad girls.

[Kila]

Only small actors.

[Ally]

So, like, there was, like, a specific exercise where we, like, one afternoon, watch a movie, and you would have to eat your red light foods, which are, like your danger foods, where you can't control yourself. And mine was popcorn and sour candy. And so, like, they make you have, like, a small, small amount of it. And I think that's kind of what these skinny women are saying.

[Esther]

I'm. I don't care about my weight necessarily. I just. I'm. No, I've, like, I've tried. I think, like, my sisters are concerned about that, and I'm kind of like, me and my dad and my mom, we love eating. Like, we're gluttons.

[Kila]

Even with the Ozempic.

[Esther]

Yeah. But now, I mean, because of the Ozempic, he's really toned it down. But I just. I didn't realize that I don't eat normally. And so I started reading the book Easy Way to Quit Emotional Eating. Alan Carr.

[Ally]

I've.

[Kalila]

Oh, Alan Carr is a smoking guy.

[Esther]

Yeah. He does it for everything.

[Ally]

Wait, how is the book?

[Esther]

It's really good. I. I don't want to finish because I don't want to quit emotionally.

[Ally]

Are you an emotional eater?

[Esther]

I guess so. Everyone? I think so, but it's kind of like what you were saying where it's like, yeah, just like listen to your body.

[Kila]

Like the intuitive.

[Esther]

Intuitive eating of it all. And I've never listened to my body. I'm like, oh, I'm bo.

[Kila]

It.

[Esther]

I should snack.

[Kila]

Yeah. It is fun. It's like texting. It's like a fun thing to do.

[Esther]

Yeah. And if I go to, you know, if I go to a restaurant and they give me a big old plate, I'm like, they want me to finish all of this. It is very. Exactly. So I'm like, oh, I should listen to my body.

[Kila]

Does anyone have immigrant parents here?

[Esther]

Yeah, I do.

[Kila]

You do? From where?

[Kalila]

Philippines.

[Kila]

Do they like, are they big food? Like eat everything?

[Kalila]

Yeah, it's. It's one. We're a culture where it's like, are you hungry? If. If the answer is no. Here, have it anyway.

[Esther]

Yeah, yeah.

[Kalila]

There's no.

[Ally]

It's.

[Kalila]

It's rude to turn down food.

[Kila]

Right.

[Kalila]

It's such like a love language.

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

Every 10 steps you take in the Philippines is a food stall. It's just part. We're. I think the Filipinos. You brought up that you sent me that article. Like, we're the.

[Ally]

The biggest snackers in the planet.

[Kalila]

Yeah, we're the biggest snackers.

[Esther]

Oh, I love that.

[Kalila]

And we're just a snackish culture, so. And. But my mom is really like 90s kind of disordered, where it was like the slim, fast and the over working out. She's in her 60s now and she's still jacked.

[Kila]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

Like ripped 16 pack, like really toned arms.

[Kila]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

Really strong.

[Esther]

So.

[Kalila]

Yeah. That never leaves.

[Ally]

Wait, you were saying that you're. You and your parents love to eat, but I thought you were sort of insinuating earlier you have an almond mom.

[Esther]

Which she's not an almond mom. She's very odd about her. She'll yo. Yo and weight. So sometimes she's pretty heavy, pretty big. And then sometimes she's tiny and she'll be like, yeah, I think I'm smaller than you.

[Ally]

My mom will do that too.

[Esther]

Yeah. And I go, I don't wait y.

[Ally]

And I'm like, damn, girl.

[Esther]

Yeah. But she's like, but she's not an almond mom because she'll go to this Mexican food spot by her house and get a giant burrito, super supreme burrito. And that's like her meal for the day too. Yeah. So she's not an almond mom. She's like a bit like if you open her fridge right now, there's going to be like a giant Gallon of milk. A giant thing of shredded cheese. And that's kind of like.

[Kila]

It's like keto.

[Esther]

Yeah. Yeah. So it's not like healthy stuff. It's just kind of.

[Kalila]

Yeah, I heard that a shredded cheese is terrible. And you should always buy block cheese.

[Ally]

Why?

[Kalila]

They shredded from the beauty space. Actually, I learned this from them. They use like industrial grade surfactant or something to keep the strands separated so they don't clump together.

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

And it is like, actually really terrible for you.

[Kila]

You got to just eat me lunch. Me has like carcinogen. I mean, it's all bad.

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Ally]

I will say. My sister, whose whole personality is cheese, she's always telling me, like, you cannot buy the shredded. It doesn't taste. You have to shred it yourself. And she like, knows taste.

[Esther]

So I think there is something too. Like when you shred your own cheese, you feel. I feel like ancestrally, I'm like cave woman.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Esther]

You know, so like, I feel like I've the pilgrims.

[Ally]

I have to say that I used to dread anything like that. Like, I. I would just be like, oh, why do I have to do this? Like, I'd be so mad at any little task like that. But then I've had to like, retrain myself. Like, no, this is actually good for you. This is meditative because, like, I used to hate making my own almond milk. And then when you do it. Wow, you do that once a year. But like the. The meditative process of like soaking the almonds, removing the skin individually from each. I'm like. It's like, oh, I am useful.

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Ally]

I'm a useful woman. Someone wants to get me pregnant. Like, I can keep children alive.

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Can I go back to your keto? Did it make you constipated?

[Ally]

Of course.

[Kila]

Well, it is now.

[Esther]

Okay.

[Kila]

It is now. Now I'm really taking laxatives a lot. Yeah, I'm in a bad cycle right now. I'm in a bad spiral right now.

[Unnamed Speaker]

I'm always constipated. So I just like.

[Kila]

I've been constipated since the day I was bo. Honestly.

[Esther]

Oh, my God.

[Kila]

You know what happened? Well, here's the thing. I did a five day prolon fast. Do you guys know about Prolon? Gwyneth Paltrow's big thing?

[Ally]

Oh, she's into it.

[Kila]

Yeah, it's a fast mimicking fast. You actually eat for five days. But it's like these little bars and olives and like olive oil and like, oh, powdered soups.

[Esther]

Yes.

[Kila]

But it's like, you know it's from like 600 to 800 calories a day. So I did that. And then after that I was like, maybe I.

[Esther]

So toxic.

[Ally]

Your insides are so.

[Kila]

Yeah, I have an eating disorder. Yeah. This is what I'm saying. But obviously in my head I'm like, what's good for cancer cell removal?

[Esther]

Yeah, that's what they said.

[Kila]

Fasting is actually really good for that. And so I did that. And then afterwards I was like, let me just do like keto. And then. But I definitely did it wrong. I was just like eating beef a lot.

[Ally]

Okay. That's like the meat diet.

[Kila]

Because keto, I was kind of like in the manosphere.

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Kila]

No, no, keto, you can't have vegetables because vegetables have carbs.

[Kalila]

Yeah, a little bit of, I think.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Kind of like half a cup or something.

[Kalila]

I think the fruits you probably. They're probably more afraid of with keto.

[Kila]

Yeah, fruits are like, no.

[Kalila]

Yeah. But the cauliflowers, the broccolis, they hardly have because they have so much fiber. There's cancels it out. I'm from the Atkins school of Atkins diet, which is basically just rebranded as Keto.

[Esther]

Right?

[Kila]

Yeah. It's like net carbs you have to focus on. But I was also then eating a lot of like fake sugar when I was like. Because I'm on the road so much so I'm at airports, I have to grab a snack. So I find like a protein bar that has little carbs. But it's like. Yeah, but it's like fake sugar. It's like that camp.

[Kalila]

It's also like milk protein.

[Ally]

Oh, my God, the bear bell bars.

[Esther]

Oh, those are yummy. Those are so yummy.

[Kila]

Oh, I love like a quest birthday cake flavored in the microwave.

[Esther]

Oh, subverting the full trick from your eating school.

[Ally]

I can play. Wait. So to the audience, Kalila just had to step out for a technical difficulty.

[Unnamed Speaker]

The constipation did remind me of the TikTok I'm bored question. And they asked like natural laxatives.

[Ally]

Oh, have you guys seen the trend? Like, I'm bored. Tell me your most unhinged.

[Esther]

Yeah, but I don't like these. Why? You know why I don't like them? Because I like looking through the comments, but I don't like the people posting. Because I'm like, you just want people to stay on your video for a long time looking through comments.

[Ally]

Sure. But if that's the vehicle that gets us to all the crazy people commenting, it's fine.

[Esther]

But then I guess stand up clips.

[Kila]

Bombing.

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Kila]

So I'm pissed. So I'm pissed.

[Ally]

Actually, you know, you're. It's actually admirable because you're right. Like, this is why it's hard for our clips to get views.

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Ally]

Oh, constipation hacks. Okay, well, we knew you were coming today.

[Kila]

I'm. I've been doing a lot of massages, so I'm just like, constantly rubbing my stomach.

[Ally]

First of all, have you ever done an enema?

[Kila]

Oh, I used to be addicted to enemas.

[Esther]

Oh, my God.

[Kila]

I had an enema addiction.

[Ally]

You have to go to college.

[Kila]

Yeah, yeah. School. No, I had a real. I was really bulimic for like 15 years, and I think I Upward turtle. I know, I know. And. And so I was doing a lot of, like, enemas and stuff.

[Esther]

I've never done it. Is it fun when it does. It feels good.

[Kila]

Sometimes it doesn't work, and then you feel really bad.

[Ally]

Constipated.

[Unnamed Speaker]

You've never had an enema?

[Esther]

No, I'm always. I. I just struggle, I think. I've never.

[Kila]

You're just like, normal.

[Esther]

No, don't say that.

[Kila]

Do you have good parents?

[Esther]

No. No. But I don't like when I'm constipated. I just sit in in pain and.

[Kila]

I cancel plans, I cancel shows.

[Esther]

Sucks.

[Kila]

I cancel road dates.

[Esther]

I also, as I'm getting older, I'm turning into a diarrhea girl.

[Kila]

That's so awesome.

[Esther]

It is kind of fun. It's, like, so different, and it's, like, so exciting.

[Kila]

And I imagine Bella Hadid is constantly having diarrhea.

[Esther]

That is so. But it's kind of annoying because this is happening to me. But I'm like, not like. Like, people are like, oh, zempic. You get diarrhea? And I'm like, then why am I not on Ozempic at this point if I'm still getting diarrhea? That's the biggest downfall, right?

[Ally]

Are you wanting to be on?

[Kila]

No, I don't think made you constipated it. Not hungry.

[Esther]

I don't know.

[Ally]

I think it's. You guys. Look, it can land differently on everyone. We all have different bodies. We don't have to fight over this.

[Kila]

Let's call your dad and ask him if he's getting diarrhea.

[Esther]

Yeah, I don't know what he's getting.

[Ally]

Okay, so the unhinged constipation hacks are a brief walk through TJ Maxx or Marshalls.

[Esther]

It's so true.

[Ally]

Wait, what? How?

[Kila]

Because you always have to go to the bathroom when you're in one of those places, and then there's no bathroom.

[Esther]

Everyone says, like, Target, Barnes and Noble, where you.

[Kila]

I haven't heard of this before, but this makes sense.

[Ally]

I think it's not that you get excited. I think it's that, like, your nervous system finally calms down because you're, like, in a state of peace, like shopping, like, as a good capitalist. And maybe that. Because I noticed. Okay. You know how sometimes you get. It's like, quiet and you get embarrassed that your stomach grumbles?

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Ally]

So who was it? Oh, my pelvic floor therapist told me that when that happens, it means that you got out of fight or flight, and now you're in, like, the relaxed, relaxed state. So I think, like, you have to be relaxed to.

[Kila]

Yeah. Well, now. So now I'm constantly. I wake up anxious because I'm like, is today going to be a bloated day? And then that's actually bad.

[Ally]

Do you take probiotics or magnesium?

[Kila]

I'm a magnesium addict.

[Esther]

Okay, good.

[Kila]

And I do take probiotics. I don't actually believe in them. I don't think probiotics do anything. I think they're kind of a front for something sinister.

[Ally]

I thought that for a while too, and I still a little bit do, but.

[Kila]

But I am on a big colostrum kick, which is like the bacteria found in cow breast milk or something. Haven't looked into it, just bought it.

[Esther]

I feel like. Do you have colostrum from your Milky.

[Ally]

No, I don't.

[Kila]

Breastfeed us right now, so I can take a shit.

[Esther]

Did you say that?

[Ally]

No, I didn't do. I did not have a. I didn't get freaky with my breastfeeding journey. No, it was pretty bland.

[Esther]

Dang.

[Ally]

But we did have on this show, a comedian did drink someone's breast milk, and it was bleep it out. He drank her breast milk.

[Unnamed Speaker]

And this came up because they were saying that his friend refused to drink his wife's breast milk. And we were wondering.

[Esther]

I mean, I don't think anyone's expecting their husband to just chug back breast milk, but I think out of curiosity, you. You should just give it a little come.

[Kila]

You can drink our breast milk.

[Ally]

Yeah. I feel like if. If you drink someone's come, they should drink your pee.

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Ally]

Is that a hot take?

[Esther]

I think that is a hot take.

[Kila]

It's a tit for.

[Esther]

I've never heard this.

[Kila]

It's a tick for come.

[Ally]

Wait, I also heard you talk about girls who don't like attention like, when you're talking. Because you did your monologue about the candid girl.

[Kila]

Yeah. Literally got me canceled.

[Ally]

What do you mean?

[Kila]

People got so mad at me for that.

[Ally]

Why?

[Kila]

I say really bad things on the Internet, like, genuinely horrible things, and I don't agree. Things that people get mad at me for are, like, that take which was, like, all cool. All guys think they want to date a cool, artsy girl, but they actually want to date, like, an Emily who does pottery and, like, loves Japan.

[Ally]

Yes.

[Kila]

And people. I think, because I pissed off. Emily's Emily is an archetype of girl. It's not, like, actually her name.

[Ally]

Yeah.

[Kila]

And I've. I mean, there was, like, truly, like, millions of, like, tweets about it. There was, like, articles written about, was, like, added to this. Like, me know your meme archive. Reporters were reaching out to me. I was like, what is happening? Em Rada called me a misogynist. Emrat. I'll say that again to camera. Em Rada called me a misogynist. And you know who came to my defense? Mr. Beast.

[Ally]

No, wait, are you serious?

[Esther]

Me too. Mr.

[Kila]

Beast commented, like, Totally.

[Ally]

Mr.

[Kila]

Beast knows who you are, and Amarada hates me. And that's actually when I started panicking because I was like, like, do all the girlies think that I'm a misogynist? I was like, is Charli XCX sitting there going, this bitch is a misogynist. I'm gonna kill myself.

[Ally]

She's just a comedian with a take. Yeah.

[Unnamed Speaker]

And maybe they have a little Emily.

[Kila]

In them, and they don't, like, well, Amrada.

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Kila]

Kind of. Patient zero. And there's some things I can't say on here that I want to, but I. Wow. But yeah, at least Mr. Beast is a girl's girl.

[Ally]

That is so soothing to me. His game show on Amazon, like, like, it brought my family back together.

[Kila]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Esther]

I'm addicted to Mr. Beast videos. They're so. I'll be like, I'm just gonna watch one just to see what he's doing. And then meanwhile, it's, like, four hours later, and I can't stop. I should track him down when I go to North Carolina.

[Kila]

Yes.

[Esther]

He lives in North Carolina. I should find him.

[Kila]

Be in a video.

[Ally]

Yeah, dear, I would love to. We all want to be in a video.

[Esther]

Yeah. Could we do it? Could we stand in a square for hours on end? Who can stand the longest lose so fast? No, I would win.

[Kila]

I would. I would lose.

[Esther]

I would win.

[Kila]

I feel like being in a Mr. Beast video is like, what being on, like, Letterman was.

[Ally]

Yeah. Like, we don't. That'll make your career anymore.

[Kila]

That will make your career.

[Ally]

Wait, are you, like, a winner? Like, are you, like, competitive?

[Esther]

I'm very competitive, but I also would give a. I think I would give up, like, the same thing that we're talking about with food. I don't think I have any sort of, like, determination to, like, do something. Yeah. I don't have any willpower.

[Ally]

What? So, wait, I want to talk though more about this. Like. Like, the girls that don't want attention. Because that. When. When I heard you mention that category of girl, like, it did, like, trigger something in me of, like, hatred. Like. Because we can compete all we want with anyone out there, but there's one person we can't compete with, and that's a girl who doesn't want attention, like, ever.

[Kila]

That doesn't have an Instagram.

[Ally]

Yeah.

[Kila]

Coolest girl alive.

[Ally]

Just exists to ex. Like, I don't know. Do you?

[Kila]

Yeah. Like, isn't turning her life into a memoir.

[Ally]

You're looking at me like you're a girl that doesn't want attention.

[Esther]

And it's. No, I want attention so bad. I'm just. I'm trying to, like.

[Kila]

Yeah, there's 10 cameras in this room.

[Esther]

I'm trying to imagine, like, who that girl. Like, I'm trying to picture.

[Kila]

You've never seen one in the flesh.

[Ally]

Yeah. It's like in a scary movie when you don't see the monster, and that makes it the most scary. That's what this girl is.

[Kila]

Yeah, but I was saying that there's, like, there's that girl and then there's the girl who's aware that that's the coolest type of girl, so she tries to emulate her, but by virtue of emulating it.

[Esther]

I guess that's why I'm picturing it and, like, not getting upset because I'm like, well, that's corny.

[Kila]

It's like the girl who's on, like, the third slide of her boyfriend's Instagram carousel.

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Kila]

I'm saying it's kind of like a blurry photo of her in a bookstore.

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Kila]

And it's like she is aware that she's this blank canvas. And people really got mad at me because at the end of that video, I jokingly was like, but I'm a girl's girl. I don't know. And then everyone was like, doesn't sound like it. And I'm like, why can't we make fun of other girls?

[Esther]

Yeah, this.

[Kila]

Why can't we make fun of them?

[Ally]

I'm going to tell you that everyone is wrong about. You had a funny take.

[Kila]

Yeah, it was like.

[Ally]

And then people almost just used it for content to like. Like it's not.

[Kila]

Yeah, it was like people like writing.

[Ally]

You're a comedian, you're not like. Yeah.

[Kila]

This one guy did like a three part video series explaining why I'm like a misogynist, why I should basically die. He was like, as a queer bipoc, this is actually a really detrimental take to my community. And I was like glitching watching this video. A year later he DM'd me like recently and was like, I'm sorry. I was kind of going through a manic episode. Like, you didn't say anything wrong. And I was like, yeah, you.

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Kila]

It got millions of views, this video. Like people were being so mean. That's what Emrata commented on that video and was like, good take. She's a misogynist.

[Esther]

Dare I say.

[Unnamed Speaker]

I think it's misogynist. Like I think it's anti feminist not to be on your side.

[Ally]

I agree.

[Kalila]

Because it's like, we should be.

[Kila]

Also, I'm making fun of myself. Like the. I'm making fun of myself. I'm making fun of guys because guys are like claimed to be like, I just want like a cool. I want like a cool FK Twigs type girl. But it's like, no, they want like a quiet. Yeah, they want like a hot girl who reads.

[Esther]

Who. Who re.

[Kila]

Who reads like the subtle art of not giving a. Like those types of books. And that's fine. And I love that girl and I can be that girl too. You know what I'm saying?

[Ally]

When you're ready, when we're ready, we'll be that.

[Esther]

That.

[Kila]

That girl is happier than all of us.

[Esther]

I think that more than that, I hate other girls who are more like me. Like, like if you're do. If you're like so cool. I'm like, I just know that I'm not. I'm not capable of that.

[Ally]

They're out of your way rate.

[Esther]

But when someone's like in a similar sphere to me. Yeah, that's what stresses me out.

[Kila]

Yeah.

[Esther]

Or someone who I know I have the capability to morph into or become, but I don't want to.

[Kila]

Or they're like, you 2.0.

[Esther]

Yeah, that's stressful. There was this girl. Well, I guess this is like just specific to my boyfriend. Sorry, I'm not de centering men yet. But there was this girl. I was at A comedy show. And this girl was like, working the event, which I should have felt good about, like, oh, you're working the event. I'm on the event.

[Kila]

I'm always jealous of the service girls.

[Esther]

But I'm a service girl.

[Kila]

A blue collar service girl.

[Esther]

I've been that girl and I don't feel above it yet. I'm like, I know. You know, I think they're cooler than.

[Kila]

Us because they don't want the attention.

[Esther]

I know.

[Ally]

And like, they're also, you know, they're like low key. A fantasy for guys probably, right?

[Kila]

Yeah, yeah.

[Esther]

They're getting things for people. Yeah. You know, they're like, no.

[Kila]

Okay. Because when I was dating a comic, we would like, you know, go to shows together. And there was like a waitress at the club that he had.

[Esther]

Yes.

[Kila]

Like, had a threesome with. And I was like, oh, my God. You know what I mean? And it's like, it just destroyed me.

[Ally]

I'll say this a little bit, you know, a little hello from the later stage of life.

[Kila]

Yeah.

[Ally]

I will never have a nanny under 65 years old.

[Esther]

No. My. My sister has a hot nanny and I don't know how she does it. She even stresses me out and I'm not even involved in this at all. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But her hair is always done nicely. Speaking of my hot, she does fun hairstyles.

[Ally]

Oh, wow. Flowers.

[Esther]

That's gorgeous. Oh, cute.

[Ally]

Wait, we were talking about how we're jealous of service workers that are pretty.

[Kalila]

Oh, yeah.

[Kila]

I think there's nothing more romantic than being like an esthetician in Charlotte, North Carolina.

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Kila]

Who like, does solid core every day.

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Kila]

I really romanticize that light.

[Ally]

I have the same disease as you. Like, I always think about, like, if I just worked at Walgreens and like just walked to work from my parents basement. I mean, this is a little different than what you're saying now.

[Kila]

No, but I get it.

[Esther]

You know what it is?

[Kalila]

A lot grimmer than solid core.

[Esther]

But you know what it is? It's because the girl doing the service job and I have a joke about this and I'm like trying not to do the joke, but it's like when I worked in service, I felt so hot because I knew that I was like, I was more than service.

[Kila]

You were a small town girl.

[Esther]

Yes.

[Kila]

Yeah.

[Esther]

And so that's who I'm envious of because I'm like, there's so much possibility there, like, untapped potential.

[Ally]

You can like be a surprise.

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Kila]

There's mystery. They're also. They're 22.

[Ally]

Yeah, let's just call it like it is.

[Kila]

Yeah, they are 22.

[Esther]

And I can really just like. Yeah. Charm people behind the, you know, counter at a fast food joint.

[Kila]

Guys like that girl more than comedians.

[Esther]

Oh, yeah, guys, comedians. You're begging for it.

[Kila]

And those girl. Girls love, love Male comedians like, they're chuckle.

[Ally]

Wait, so where were we?

[Esther]

Hot nannies.

[Kila]

Hot nannies being jealous of the Walgreens girl.

[Esther]

You don't.

[Kalila]

You're so. I know you're really anti hot nanny we share.

[Ally]

I don't need to. Don't. Why even go there?

[Kila]

I want to disgust it. I want a male nanny.

[Esther]

No, no, that's also bad.

[Kila]

I'd rather bring a predator into my house than a hot.

[Esther]

I'd rather have the kids suffer than me.

[Kila]

Yeah.

[Esther]

Yeah. Now my stomach's growling. Maybe I'm so safe.

[Ally]

Yeah, it means you feel safe and comfortable.

[Kila]

We're putting down other women. You feel good.

[Esther]

Yeah. You feel safe. Oh, my God. I. Because I've been having diarrhea. I've been trying to eat more bananas. Wow, this is great. Thank you.

[Kila]

So cute.

[Kalila]

The greener one bands are better for your belly.

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Kila]

I can never decide if bananas make you constipated or help you. I think they make you constipated.

[Esther]

Well, I'll google because I'm. I fluctuate. So I'll google like how to. How to loosen up my. My poop. And then the next week I'll google, like, how to firm up my poop. And it's always the same things. It's like popcorn.

[Kila]

It happens.

[Esther]

Bananas.

[Kila]

It's yin and yang, baby girl.

[Ally]

Wait, last night you were telling me, Allie, that you're. You can be avoidant in relationships.

[Esther]

Oh, yeah. Get me out. Get me out.

[Ally]

You're. You seem like you're not avoidant.

[Kila]

No, I'm a cancer.

[Ally]

What does that mean?

[Esther]

Yeah, I'm like, oh, I have cancer in my thing.

[Kila]

Yeah, I'm like, deep.

[Ally]

You mean you have cancer?

[Esther]

No, don't put that out there.

[Ally]

Sorry.

[Esther]

No, I'm a camp. I'm a kid.

[Ally]

You're very healthy.

[Esther]

Yeah, I am. I probably will get camp. Do you guys ever feel that way?

[Ally]

Of course.

[Esther]

I'm like, I know that it's gonna happen. I don't know when and I don't know what kind.

[Kalila]

We all have any eventually die from, Right? Some sort of cancer.

[Esther]

Yeah, that's what it feels like.

[Kila]

It's old age of cancer.

[Ally]

Yeah.

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

It's usually some type of like that turned into you Know a gigantic face tumor.

[Esther]

My sister. Okay, settle this debate for me. My sister is trying to claim that she's a cancer survivor because she had, like, a cancerous mole on her face that got removed. And I'm like, girl, you didn't go through.

[Kila]

She gets like the pink stripe in her hair.

[Esther]

Yeah, yeah. I'm like, you can't be claiming this. You had no. Like, you got a procedure, you're fine. There was no one in the family was worried.

[Kalila]

But those Moss procedures, when you get them cut out of your face, it's never just the mole. They always go deep.

[Esther]

Yeah, they went deep, but it's out.

[Kila]

Let her claim it.

[Kalila]

Maybe I wouldn't use. I went through cancer, maybe not. I'm a cancer survivor. Sure, I had a cancerous mole. Yeah, that's a little bit too.

[Esther]

I think a cancerous mole I would be okay with, but her being like.

[Ally]

I have to say the word mole.

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Ally]

It's not fair. Don't make her do that.

[Kila]

You make her say cancer instead.

[Esther]

Shave your head Now.

[Ally]

Are you like, anxious attack?

[Kila]

That's how I. I think I'm anxious touch. But I also, like, I've only been in long distance relationships my whole life.

[Ally]

Okay. Huge red flag.

[Esther]

That feels avoidant.

[Kila]

I know. My last relationship was open and long distance.

[Esther]

That's not even a relationship. That's a friend.

[Kila]

And I like, I like having my own own life. And I like, like, I do things like, I will randomly disappear and travel by myself for a few months.

[Esther]

Yeah, I need that. Yeah.

[Kila]

Even if I have a boyfriend, I need to do that.

[Esther]

But you know what's nice? I have a boyfriend. And. And I asked him because I'm like, I'm like, I want to go. I want to go to New York. I want to live in New York. I'm like, how long could I go to New York? And I'm thinking, his ass is going to be like, don't leave me. Only a week. And he's like, I don't know, like, two, three months. You're like, okay, so are we in a relationship?

[Kila]

That's cool.

[Esther]

It is cool. It's nice.

[Kila]

But you should do that.

[Esther]

I know. I'm going to. Should. I'm glad.

[Ally]

It's like, that's the one thing. Like being in the mom stage now, as my niece called me, because I was like, you used to think I was cool. She's like, you're in the mom stage now. I don't know. But I. That's what I wish that I would have done. Is like more New York comedian time. Like, that's your whole life.

[Kila]

Yeah, that's not that cool. No, it's fine. I think it's way cooler to like be a. That's in Barcelona. You know what I'm saying?

[Kalila]

I went through my Spain days.

[Kila]

Yeah, Spain's good.

[Ally]

Yeah, but what are you gonna be doing there?

[Kila]

I just went to Barcelona by myself and I sat at wine bars and I read. Yeah, I'll say it. Tolstoy. I was reading Tolstoy and Wine bar.

[Kalila]

That's my dog's name.

[Kila]

And just meeting random people. Really.

[Esther]

Okay.

[Kila]

You guys on the first date and just like I would meet random strangers. Like, I talked to strangers and I made so many friends. Met a Hawkeye.

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

Barcelona.

[Kila]

Yeah, it's just like fun.

[Ally]

How long were you there?

[Kila]

I was there like a week. But I used to like, I would backpack by myself, like south.

[Esther]

Do you think it would be the same vibe if I went to Barcelona and was reading the easy way to quit Emotional Eating at the bar.

[Ally]

Be sitting there at the bar with you. We'll be leaving them the next flight out bored as. I mean, but you're just romanticizing a vacation. Like you can't be doing your standup and your videos and stuff there. Right?

[Kila]

I know, but that's why it's great. It's like, this is going to sound really horrible, but once you're like in a stage where people know who you are a little bit and it's like your life becomes like. But then you like disappear in Barcelona and you can like pretend to be that girl that works at the Walgreens.

[Ally]

It sounds like you feel like you're, you're, you're like locked in this status of being perceived in New York maybe. And you can get out of that there.

[Kila]

Yeah, a little bit. But I think I've. I mean, I've always had this itch to do this, but it's just like it feels like being alive.

[Esther]

Yeah, I'm the same way.

[Kila]

I feel. I know it's gay. What I'm saying is gay. But he's like, you feel alive when you're performing. I don't feel alive when I'm making a front facing video. I want to kill myself when I'm doing that. So when I go to Barcelona.

[Ally]

Well, then you do feel alive, technically.

[Kila]

Right, right. But when I'm reading a book in like a wine bar and I'm like, like, it's like. And I'm journaling. I mean, I did today. I sat at Dialogue Cafe. Y' all say it. I sat at Dialogue Cafe and I wrote a journal entry and I felt alive.

[Esther]

I hate. I cannot journal in public. That's.

[Kila]

But you know what ruined it is the waitress came up to me and goes, I was literally just watching your video in bed. And I went, oh, I'm a content creator. That's embarrassing.

[Ally]

I don't like this. I feel like I have to shake this out of you.

[Esther]

It's.

[Kalila]

Which part? The Barcelona parts. The of the best part.

[Ally]

The Persona parts.

[Kila]

That's being alive.

[Kalila]

I will never regret my Barcelona days.

[Esther]

No, you.

[Kila]

And you never will.

[Ally]

What did you do there?

[Kalila]

I got analed so much.

[Esther]

Yeah. See, that's the scary thing. I've never, like, traveled without just, like, getting railed constantly by, like, Australian tourists. The hostel, always. Yeah. So I'm like, what does it look like to travel in a relationship?

[Kila]

If you're young and hot, why not have anal in Barcelona?

[Kalila]

In Barcelona, Right.

[Esther]

Why was it my.

[Ally]

Ouch.

[Kalila]

Well, I don't know.

[Kila]

They do that.

[Esther]

They do. Without asking you?

[Kila]

Without asking.

[Ally]

Oh, my God.

[Kila]

They just put it in.

[Kalila]

Only girls who have been to Barcelona or Spain understand what I'm talking about. When they just put it in with no asking, as if it's just the norm.

[Kila]

Yeah. And then you don't stop. It is the other thing. I don't know why it would be disrespectful to their culture, to the Spanish.

[Kalila]

Culture as a whole. Right.

[Kila]

Yeah.

[Ally]

How do. Just get it in. It's not easy.

[Kalila]

Listen, I, I.

[Ally]

You take big shits. What?

[Kila]

You drink a lot of wine before it happens?

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

I was pretty, pretty hammered. But I dated a football player for a while there. Yeah. Who played for. Yeah.

[Kila]

That's like, you need that story.

[Ally]

I just think if I show up in Barcelona, like, no one was trying to anally rate me.

[Kalila]

Like, be surprised.

[Ally]

Really?

[Kalila]

Yeah. I think everyone.

[Kila]

Everyone leaves.

[Esther]

You could do it.

[Kila]

It's like their passport stamp is you just getting railed in the ass.

[Esther]

And now I'm scared. I wanted to go to Barcelona, but.

[Kila]

Or go to, like, Or Argentina is really fun. Colombia is really fun.

[Ally]

Let's. We're gonna go to Minnesota.

[Esther]

Okay. We're gonna clean up. America clean up.

[Ally]

We're gonna do our sets.

[Esther]

Oh, my God. Can we. Have you guys seen the girl at Mall of America who does the spinny roller coaster ride? She's the queen of it. Does anyone know what I'm talking about?

[Ally]

Algorithm of, like, a 12 year old.

[Esther]

Yeah. My algorithm's crazy.

[Kila]

Like a pedophile's.

[Esther]

Algorithm. Yes, yes, it kind of is. It's like autistic women who go on these rides who I love. And then it's also like single mom content. It's like how to parent a child alone. Why do you have I don't know. I love it. I love knowing what the kids are up to.

[Kila]

Well, don't say that.

[Unnamed Speaker]

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[Ally]

Do either of you guys. And I always. I'm sorry, resident, like mom have to ask this of every young woman. Do you understand? Guys know or not know if you want kids?

[Kila]

Like, I'm not, like, craving them in any way. Yeah, but I know some guy's going to convince me one day and I'll. Whatever.

[Ally]

By the way, what you should worry for is when you get to, like, 35 and no guy is trying to convince you. That happened to me.

[Kila]

How old are you?

[Ally]

I'm 37 in how. Thank you. You're so young.

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Ally]

You're a baby. Thanks, guys. The young girls think I'm young.

[Kila]

So it's true.

[Esther]

What about you with kids?

[Ally]

Kids?

[Esther]

I don't know. Like, I want to have a kid, but I want to have, like, nannies and a team.

[Ally]

Yeah.

[Esther]

That's what everyone.

[Kalila]

Every mom deserves that.

[Esther]

Yeah. That's what I want. It should be bare minimum, I don't.

[Kila]

Want one for selfish reasons. Like, I only want one so that when I'm, like, 50, there's someone, like, looking at my estate for me.

[Ally]

So I'm gonna pass your purses down. Yeah.

[Kila]

And, like, I really just want, like, a gay son.

[Ally]

But you said you don't want a son.

[Kila]

Well, I don't want a straight son because he's gonna shoot up a school. But my gay son and I. I'm gonna raise him gay.

[Esther]

Gay. Yeah.

[Kila]

You know, a daughter, I. I would give her an eating disorder.

[Ally]

Well, for sure.

[Kila]

It's the apple doesn't.

[Esther]

See, that's the culture.

[Kila]

It's about me giving my daughter an eating disorder. But also, I think the world's gonna. I think the world is going to end in. In my lifetime.

[Ally]

Yeah, probably.

[Kila]

That's kind of my vibe.

[Esther]

At least for you it will.

[Kila]

Yeah.

[Ally]

Yeah.

[Kila]

So I'm kind of like, I don't know if I want to have a kid when the nuclear winter happens, and then I have to, like, like, try to make her feel better about it.

[Esther]

I just want to passively say. And we don't need to engage with it, but I've said, I think four things that I regret. But it's okay. I just want to publicly acknowledge that.

[Kila]

What.

[Ally]

What do you regret or you don't?

[Esther]

Well, I shouldn't have said my sister should have shaved her head.

[Ally]

Oh.

[Esther]

By claiming she has had cancer. I'm not. I don't feel good about that. I also don't feel good about saying that, you know, I have A bunch of autistic stick women on my Tick Tock timeline. We all know.

[Kalila]

We all watch Love on the Spectrum. It's like my favorite show of all time.

[Ally]

There's.

[Kila]

Are you really worried about being canceled or something?

[Esther]

No, no, I just. There. There's certain things, you know, when you, like, say something and you're like, oh, if I had more time to elaborate, it would make sense, but in. In the conversation of a podcast, it's like, oh, that could be.

[Unnamed Speaker]

If it makes you feel better, I think it's insane that your sister says she's a survivor.

[Esther]

Yeah, she'll kind of bring it up.

[Ally]

It makes you feel better. We hate your sister.

[Esther]

If it makes you feel better, we're actually canceling you right now. Yeah, we actually wish I had that.

[Kila]

Tree where you're like, looking back, I should have said that.

[Esther]

Well, I'm doing this. That's good. I don't know, I just. In therapy, I'm kind of just being aware and becoming aware of things, and so I'm like, oh, I don't like that. But I also don't.

[Ally]

I've had, like, a similar thing where I don't even want to talk about it. But, like, like, I. People online like to call me the comedian that can't take a joke. And it's because, like, I've had instances on this podcast with people where they say something that they think is funny, and I'm like, that's not funny, it's mean. And then we, like, get into it, and then there's all these people, they, like, make fan videos about it. They're like, she's a comedian, she can't take a joke. And like, I, I hate. I hate a lot of things, but it's like, I just, I don't. I don't know, I don't wanna not be allowed to say how I feel. But I also do want to look at this. Like, this is a comedy podcast and this is fun and it's funny. But I think all things are true. Like, I think, yeah, yeah, you can.

[Kila]

Have a personal line.

[Esther]

I like when things get serious.

[Kila]

I don't like when people.

[Esther]

I love when things. Specific people.

[Kila]

Ugly publicly or like that this person is ugly or fat or whatever. Like, I think that's mean.

[Esther]

That's fine.

[Kalila]

For me, the line is pretty clear. And in your instance, I don't know, you've always been somewhat everyone's punching bag. So of all people who can take jokes, it's you. I mean, the amount of times Bobby has called you I don't know, 90,000 different names, like, and you just sit there, like, giggling.

[Ally]

Yeah, that's the thing is I like it. So I feel that I also am allowed to say, like, wait, that. That feels real and is mean.

[Kalila]

Exactly.

[Ally]

And people get so mad at me.

[Kalila]

When you have a. L don't. Like, they don't want you to have a lion.

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Ally]

I also do want to see one other point of view of it, which is, like, this, which I'm actually taking in a good way, which is like, this is a comedy podcast. And so that's why I apply that to your thing of, like, people trying to cancel you for your, like, hilarious rant on a tik tok. It's like, that was comedy.

[Esther]

Right.

[Kila]

It also wasn't controversial, I don't think. Like, I'll say, actually controversial things, but also it's kind of what you're saying where, like, if I say something controversial in a. In my stand up, it's like, I've thought about it, I've workshopped it. I feel there's nuance or whatever, so I can, like, defend it easier. Like, I'm like, no, well, this is what I meant. That rant I did on Subway Takes was kind of like, me off the cuff. I was, like, hungover. So then I was off the cuff. Yeah. So then I kind of felt misunderstood. Like, I was. I felt this desire for the first time ever to. To defend and be like, wait, that's not what I meant. And then I was like, wait, you guys, like, you also would, like, like, speak out of turn, potentially, if you were speaking, like, just off the top of your head. And also, again, what I was saying wasn't crazy. It's not like, I'm like, I didn't mean it. That racist thing that I said, it was like I was, like, making fun of myself and girls and whatever.

[Ally]

So we have some red flags to.

[Esther]

Share with you guys. I feel like you're gonna have no red flags. I feel like you're gonna be like, no, it's all good.

[Kila]

Oh, God. You guys could tell my dad's bad, right? It's bad.

[Ally]

These red flags.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Like, he say he's a perfect man in every single way, except for this one thing.

[Kila]

Okay.

[Esther]

Okay.

[Unnamed Speaker]

A man who only wears clothes from Bass Pro Shop.

[Ally]

That could be kind of hot.

[Kila]

Is he a fisherman?

[Kalila]

Good question.

[Kila]

Is it part of his industry?

[Esther]

My opinion doesn't change.

[Ally]

Yeah.

[Esther]

Whether he is or is not a fisherman.

[Ally]

What is your stance?

[Esther]

My stance is green flag. He's. Because if you're only shopping at Bass Pro Shop. You don't have a sense of style. You're not shopping anywhere else. You're like a simple man who likes simple things. And you are going to be a good father and show up to your.

[Ally]

Kids, and you're not putting a lot of creative thought into your own appearance.

[Esther]

Yeah. Which is.

[Kila]

Which is embarrassing for a guy, I think.

[Kalila]

Yeah. I mean, honestly, like the gym selfie.

[Kila]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

Quite possibly the worst thing ever.

[Esther]

Right.

[Kila]

I was looking at a guy today at Dialogue Cafe who I think it's really cringe when you can tell a guy is doing a look. Like he's, like, going for a certain style. This guy was wearing a crisp white T shirt with one of those, like, padded vests on top.

[Esther]

You know what I'm talking about? Wait, what's a padded.

[Kila]

Like, it's like a vest.

[Esther]

Like, almost like a crossing guard vest, but without the color.

[Kila]

But it's, like, quilted. Almost. Almost like it has, like, little bumps on it and then, like, funky sneakers and cargo pants. And I was like, you're doing that look. That's embarrassing.

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Kila]

I can see behind the veil because.

[Ally]

You know that they put a look together and it's just giving feminine energy.

[Esther]

Like.

[Ally]

Yeah, that's a turn. There must be girls that like that because plenty of men are doing that and thriving.

[Esther]

I don't understand what the outfit is giving. Like, give me your. Please. You know, like, I get.

[Kila]

I get pleasure from giving pleasure.

[Esther]

Like that guy.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Kila]

Oh, no, no.

[Kalila]

Bass pro shop is a green flag for me.

[Kila]

I think it's no problem.

[Kalila]

Yeah. It's like he's buying tackle and a T shirt.

[Esther]

It's fine.

[Kila]

I think we'll thumbs up.

[Ally]

I have a big family of, like, hunters and fishermen, and it's like, I.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Did date a very conservative racist man that loved bass rope.

[Esther]

Yeah. I guess it's like, what's your intentions behind.

[Kila]

But the liberal guys are wearing it, like, in the way that they're wearing Dickies, which is like a blue collar Carhartt. Yeah. And Carhartt.

[Kalila]

I almost thought Dickies was a cholo.

[Ally]

Thing, but I'll stick my neck out there to be canceled today. Could it be sort of hot to be with a guy who's like, a conservative asshole?

[Esther]

Yeah, I get the, like, allure to.

[Ally]

That, the charm to that, like, the naughtiness. Yeah.

[Kila]

And you're kind of his, like, funky Brooklyn girlfriend.

[Ally]

Yeah. Okay, so everyone's on board.

[Esther]

Okay.

[Kila]

We're all going down together. That's my dream.

[Esther]

Okay.

[Unnamed Speaker]

So this actually Goes into my next.

[Esther]

Red flag, which is a white guy.

[Unnamed Speaker]

That'S really into Japan.

[Kila]

Oh, this is the worst type of guy.

[Kalila]

Inexcusable.

[Kila]

This is the worst type of guy.

[Kalila]

Deplorable execution style.

[Ally]

But say why?

[Kalila]

As an Asian girl who grew up in Asia, who's. Whose mom married. I'm a product of sort of like that fetishizing, maybe. I don't know. Who knows? I hate that. And they always defend it with, like, you know, you just have to type. It's my dick is. Oh, I don't even want to talk about it.

[Kila]

I hate white guys.

[Kalila]

Well, the anime thing is fine if. Except if they're white and they only date Asian.

[Kila]

That's what I'm saying. But it always is. And they go to Japan for cherry blossom season.

[Ally]

I have a question. As white women, are we allowed?

[Esther]

Wait, did you take a bite off camera?

[Ally]

Yeah, well, I just. Away from the mic.

[Esther]

Oh, okay. It looks like you were so far.

[Ally]

Banana muffin. As white women, are we, like, allowed to be really mad at white guys that only date Asian girls?

[Esther]

What.

[Ally]

What's our.

[Esther]

What?

[Ally]

Are we allowed?

[Kalila]

You can be mad. Everyone can be mad at them. That's full permission.

[Esther]

Like, I love guys. Why woman?

[Kila]

I always think it's a very submissive type of white guy.

[Kalila]

It's always going to be. We call them losers. Lbhs.

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Kila]

What'd you say?

[Kalila]

Lbhs. Like in Asia now the thing is like, oh, go get you an lbh. Go get you a loser back home. They're losers back.

[Esther]

It's like 90 Day Fiance. When they think they're gonna, like, come to the US and have this.

[Kila]

But it's like a hip thing now. I feel like hip guys, I see it in New York, they want, like a. They want, like, an Asian purse. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, this girl is like, they're kind of like, I'm not a bad white guy. I'm dating an Asian girl, and they, like, take film photos of her. Hashtag 35millimeter. Like that.

[Kalila]

35. Mm. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that even the modern Patagonia wearing tech bro who is dating exclusively Asian American girls is Mark Zuckerberg an ick. For me, it all stems from that same passport bro mentality and the fetish. Fetishization of it all. And the idea that, oh, the Asian girl is submissive, that we somehow, you know, quietly bind our feet and say, yes, sir. Yes, sir. It's like. Like it all stems from that.

[Kila]

Yeah.

[Ally]

Now if it.

[Kalila]

If it just happens to be that you end up with an Asian chick and you marry her and have kids, but that's the first. If you have a history of it, that's a problem.

[Esther]

I love the reverse. Like a John and Kate plus eight situation. Yeah. I love a white woman with an Asian. I think that's beautiful.

[Kila]

Asian men.

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

I feel like that's on an upswing.

[Esther]

It's happening. Yeah. I felt it. I felt a change in my heart.

[Kila]

I really like East Asian guys.

[Esther]

Oh, east.

[Kila]

My ex was Indian. My whole college was Indian guys.

[Esther]

Where?

[Kila]

Nyu. All Asians on a scholarship. I was poor. Don't worry.

[Ally]

You got in, though. Yeah.

[Kila]

I think it's a. It's like a false thing that NYU is like a good.

[Kalila]

You are giving.

[Unnamed Speaker]

I went to nyu, though.

[Kila]

That's so mean.

[Kalila]

I know.

[Unnamed Speaker]

I'm sorry.

[Kila]

But I know. And compliment. I know. And I went to Gallatin, which is a school where you make up your own major. It's really.

[Ally]

What was your major?

[Kila]

Awareness and troublemaking.

[Esther]

Oh, that's so fun. What? You're such a bad girl. Yeah.

[Kila]

I wanted to be a performance artist.

[Ally]

Oh, that's cool. Is that cool?

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Kila]

I don't think we should be encouraging that. But everyone was. There was a bunch of, like, hot, rich, Asian Indian guys, but they were all in the business school. Like, they were kind of like chatty.

[Ally]

Bros. Business majors are a turn off to us. We've decided.

[Kila]

Yeah. Yeah, for sure.

[Kalila]

We think college did. Greece in general or Red Flag.

[Kila]

Yeah. I want. I want a guy who's working with his hands, who's working in. In the shop all day, whatever that shop is.

[Esther]

I just want a man who can fix my fridge and floor and put a bed together. I think there's some value to that.

[Kila]

My ex, when I was moving into my new apartment, he called me a taskrabbit to put up my shelves. And I said I wanted you to do it.

[Esther]

No, but that's actually nice that he took the action to get a TaskRabbit for you. In a way, he was using his hands.

[Kalila]

Imagine if he had attempted and put all these unnecessary holes in your wall.

[Esther]

Yeah. Oh, my God. That would have been so embarrassing.

[Kalila]

More embarrassing.

[Esther]

Yes.

[Kila]

Yeah. He's using the, like, stabilizer all wrong.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Ally]

In our relationship, we have a third man that comes over and he does all the hard work.

[Esther]

That's the key.

[Kila]

And he. You.

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Ally]

He's a really big part of our lives.

[Esther]

Fixes things. It's great.

[Kila]

I don't know what the ideal profession for a guy is. Like it's all bad. Right.

[Ally]

Ideal profession for a guy.

[Kila]

Like a film editor.

[Kalila]

I feel like you have it right, Esther, with a writer.

[Ally]

Yeah, I like that. I'm happy there. Writer's good.

[Esther]

Your writer's cool. Because then they're like tucked away.

[Ally]

Yeah.

[Esther]

They don't see the sun.

[Ally]

No, no, no. Non performing.

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Ally]

But then he sometimes will be like in stuff and I, I'm like, you can't. This is not what I signed up for.

[Esther]

Yeah. You're not supposed to be a superstar. Yeah.

[Kalila]

I have a construction daddy. So if you need anything fit fixed.

[Ally]

And when I tell you, when you lay eyes on her, man, you are going to want nothing more than a piggyback ride. When you see those shoulders, you're going to go nuts.

[Kila]

I've never dated like an older man.

[Kalila]

What's the oldest?

[Kila]

35.

[Esther]

Oh, wow.

[Kila]

I've never had my like old guy who's like, not on the Internet.

[Esther]

Yeah, I think that would be fun. And it's like the older we get, the less like fun that is or like novel that is.

[Kila]

Well, they don't want us with him.

[Esther]

Yeah, no, no.

[Ally]

The age gap, it all, it keeps going.

[Kila]

I don't know.

[Ally]

No, no, no. You don't age out of being a man's younger girl. Like, I firmly believe that because you just, it just, everyone gets older.

[Kila]

Yeah, but I don't want a 60 year old man.

[Esther]

I want like, I, I want that. I want to, I don't want like to be with an old. I just want to hook up with a really old man once just to know what it's like.

[Kalila]

How old are we talking?

[Esther]

Like, like 60, maybe 65.

[Kila]

I want my Lolita moment.

[Esther]

Oh, I see. Mine's not even about that. I'm just like, I want to know what it, like what being with an.

[Kalila]

Old man is like on their way.

[Esther]

Out old, not total. Like I want them to be coherent.

[Kalila]

How coherent?

[Esther]

Like I could last a dinner with them. Like we could do a full dinner. They're with it. They're not in bed by 6pm but like all like, I just would tell.

[Kila]

You stories about the 50s.

[Esther]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Kila]

And you're like, were you alive during.

[Ally]

A war and you're not into this at all?

[Kila]

No, no, I think it's cool. I would like to have that experience. I would never, I'm not like, think I would end up with that guy. It's like a fun life experience to have.

[Ally]

You don't feel like you have sugar baby potential.

[Kila]

No, I'm too Scrappy. Like I don't have that in me. I'm too like, I grew up poor and I was like, figure it out myself.

[Esther]

Similar with. Similar with the Asian fetish. Sugar babies. The guys who get girls. I mean, I'm basing this off my friend who did it like two times. They tend to like the women. Also submissive. I followed her on one of these dates because she was doing like she was getting paid to like go on a date with this guy. So I like followed her because I was so fun and so I'm like just kind of like watching from outside. And then when she was leaving, did.

[Ally]

She know you were following?

[Esther]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But then I was like asking her about it and they were talking about like music taste and she's like, oh, I like rap. And he was just like, you shouldn't like that you should like, like. He just wasn't happy with any of her answers. He just wanted her to like listen to jazz and be like really soft.

[Ally]

Like play the fantasy.

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Kila]

But I feel like they also kind of want like a brat. Those older guys kind of want you to be like a bratty. Whatever.

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

That's how I feel about, about Bill Belichick's Jordan.

[Ally]

Yeah.

[Kila]

She's running the show.

[Kalila]

Yeah. Like how she's probably, you know, pretty conti to him and that's what gets his dick hard.

[Esther]

Right.

[Kila]

Yeah.

[Esther]

I truly believe that she might be his dominatrix.

[Kalila]

That, that I can.

[Esther]

They also say that about Melania is a sex slave. Yeah.

[Kila]

Melania's in a lot of danger and we have to get her out. Else do we have a guy who's.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Really into rock climbing?

[Esther]

I have feelings. What I feel like rock climbing guys. Like if that's your thing, it's not like, oh, I do it to exercise. It's fun. Haha. Like if you live in the rock climbing gym, there's something like murdery about them. Like they might not act on it.

[Kalila]

But documentary with that guy and his girlfriend, Brian Laundry.

[Esther]

Brian Laundry.

[Kalila]

Is that the guy who, that did the face?

[Esther]

Oh no. Yeah. Alex Honnold.

[Kalila]

Yeah. Yes, him.

[Ally]

Who's that?

[Esther]

Well, he's like pretty on the spectrum. I think he has like no guys.

[Kalila]

Yeah. The free climbing.

[Esther]

Yeah, I do kind of like solo. Yeah. But I think in general, like, I think rock climbers are like, I don't know, they, they scare me a little bit.

[Ally]

Well, it's interesting because there, there must be some connection of like you're obsessed with rock climbing and you want to kill someone. Like I see the pipeline. Like, it's the same kind of brain that wants to, like, escape rock rocks. That would maybe kill you.

[Esther]

Well, and it's like, it's a very individual sport. Like, it's just you, like, it's very.

[Kalila]

You and your nature.

[Esther]

Yeah. And you're risk averse.

[Kila]

I. I think it's a fine line because I like when guys have hobbies.

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Kila]

Because that's. They need that. They need the guys. Guys either. Hobbies are to go to war.

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Kila]

But then when they get a little too autistically obsessed with the hobby, you're like, okay. Like, when guys get too into, you know, bitcoin and stuff, you're like, what's going on? And I feel the same with rock climbing.

[Ally]

I don't know if men should have hobbies.

[Esther]

No.

[Kila]

Because then they start killing us. And they start killing us.

[Esther]

They need hobbies.

[Kila]

You need a guy who's, like, into, like, making.

[Esther]

Not.

[Kila]

Not knives. That's bad. But, like, you need. You need him to stay act.

[Ally]

They need to stay active, keep their hands busy.

[Esther]

I had a neighbor who was into whittling. That was scary. I knew from a young age. I was very young, and I'm like, this isn't right. It's like he would get, like, wood and shave it down into, like, like, spears and knives and things like that. I was thinking that's a little freaky.

[Kila]

Men were born to. To battle and to fight for your honor. And so you need. And because we don't do that anymore, which is a shame. And that's what happened with the Internet, actually.

[Esther]

You.

[Kila]

You need to give them something else, you know?

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Ally]

Okay.

[Kila]

I think. I think men need hobbies more than we do. We have gossip, they have hobbies.

[Kalila]

Yeah. It's scary to be his primary focus.

[Esther]

Focus. I think that's bad.

[Kila]

You don't want to be a guy's primary focus.

[Ally]

Interesting. I obviously have never had that happen, so I can't really speak to it, but it sounds terrible. Yeah, I guess it sounds really bad.

[Kila]

I am dying to be love bombed, though.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Is it a red flag or green flag? I'm still just not clear.

[Kila]

I think it depends how into it they are.

[Ally]

For me, it's a red flag because I don't want a man with hobbies or interests.

[Esther]

Wait, but you know what? What if you're rock climbing and you're really into it? Your fingers and forearms are so strong.

[Ally]

Callous and callous.

[Kila]

Yeah. You've got veiny arms.

[Esther]

Yeah. So that's kind of hard.

[Kila]

That is Good.

[Esther]

You can get your coochie sanded.

[Kila]

Whittled.

[Esther]

Yeah. Okay.

[Unnamed Speaker]

The last one is grossed out by, like, fast food. Or if you like, you want to.

[Esther]

Get McDonald's red flag by green flag to me. Wait, they.

[Ally]

They are. The man is grossed out by.

[Esther]

You're so skinny, girl.

[Kila]

I need a guy with an eating disorder. I don't like when guys eat fast food.

[Kalila]

Did you. Have you ever dated boiled chicken bro?

[Esther]

No.

[Kalila]

Okay.

[Kila]

I've dated chicken bro.

[Kalila]

That's okay. It's okay to be a boiled chicken, girly. Yeah, you cannot beat a boiled. A boiled chicken bro. It is so annoying. They bring their own bag of boiled chicken and broccoli to everywhere. To your family. Get together.

[Kila]

Others, you know, I want a guy who's ordering pasta or steak at the restaurant. Yeah, but fast food to me reads like little boy. Like you're stuck in like a. Same with like, overly messy. They're. It's just like too little boy.

[Esther]

That's my boyfriend.

[Kila]

Yeah, he's a little boy.

[Esther]

He's always.

[Ally]

Yeah, but he's messy or fast food or both.

[Esther]

Both.

[Ally]

Yeah.

[Esther]

Yeah. His diet is that of a 12 year old.

[Ally]

How old is he?

[Esther]

31.

[Kila]

Does he look like he eats fast food?

[Esther]

No.

[Ally]

What does he get? I'm just curious.

[Esther]

He, like, like, from where?

[Ally]

Where do you tell me?

[Esther]

Taco Bell. His order is a Crunchwrap Supreme. No tomatoes, and a Cheesy Gordita crunch.

[Kila]

I've never even had.

[Ally]

You better keep your Stop.

[Esther]

What?

[Kila]

I had an awesome mom.

[Ally]

Wait, you're from New York?

[Kila]

I'm from Jersey, but my mom's from former Yugoslavia, so she didn't Let us eat McDonald's or anything. Or soda.

[Esther]

I gotta get you to Taco Bell.

[Ally]

Yeah, we need to have a.

[Kila]

Do you think it would make me. My pants. Yeah, let's go, let's go.

[Esther]

Oh, I love it. And then McDonald's gets a quarter pounder with cheese fries.

[Ally]

I think that me and your. You should keep me and your boyfriend away from each other. Okay. Quarter round of te is so good.

[Esther]

So good. Extra pickle. I get extra pickles.

[Ally]

I'm a pickle girl.

[Esther]

I love a damn extra pickle.

[Ally]

Me too.

[Esther]

Olive pickles. I just had.

[Unnamed Speaker]

I had a hinge thing that said, what's your McDonald's order? And it was a really good filter for, like, guys that were like, that's disgusting. Why are you eating McDonald's?

[Ally]

That's smart.

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Kila]

Well, yeah, I think it's gross for a guy to like, yuck your yum if you're into McDonald's. They should support you in that journey. Yeah, but I like a guy who work, who, like, takes care of himself. I think that's cool. Because also, people who take care of themselves are more sexually, like, you're. You're more horny. Your sex drive's higher.

[Esther]

This explains a lot.

[Kila]

It's true. You'll never be hornier than when you're, like, in your gym moment.

[Ally]

See, I have trauma from when I dated a guy where he would make us dinner, and then he. I would clean my plate, and he would, like, leave half, and I would finish it. So I'm like, still just, like, skinny society. Yeah. No, truly. And he's very skinny. And, like, so I think I'm just. Now I'm like, I need a guy.

[Kila]

That eats, like, eat.

[Ally]

So if it's fast food, I don't care. But it just. I don't want, like, a healthy, healthy guy.

[Esther]

Yeah. As much as I'm like, oh, I wish my boyfriend were healthier, I'm like, I don't want to feel now that I'm the fat one in the relationship.

[Kila]

I want a guy who's concerned that I haven't eaten disorder, you know? I want him being like, you've barely eaten. I'm like, stop. I need that.

[Esther]

I've never had that. I'm always like, babe, tell me to stop. Babe, hold me back. Why did you let me do this to myself? He's like, I'm not gonna tell you. I'm like, you have to.

[Kila]

No. I want a guy who's texting me.

[Ally]

Like, did you eat today?

[Kila]

And I'm like, yeah. He's like, I don't believe you. I don't believe. But I am, like, binge eating as.

[Ally]

He'S texting me one, like, twisted fantasy I always wanted. Maybe this comes from, like, being a child and wishing I was, like, on TV or something. But, like, I always wanted, like, a corporation to, like, call me in their office and be like, like, wanting to control my body. Like, even if it's like, you're too fat. That, like, I just wanted, like, a corporation. I wanted to be so important that Disney's like, you need to, like, cut back a little.

[Kila]

Yeah.

[Ally]

That would make me feel like, wait, I don't understand.

[Esther]

But for what?

[Ally]

Like, if you're on, like, a Disney show and they're like, you're fat.

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Ally]

And then you're like, oh, my God. Like, I'm so important to this corporation.

[Esther]

Yeah. I would love to be like Christian Bale and be like, no, I had to get fat for my movie.

[Kalila]

Oh, the felt, not that.

[Kila]

Yeah, I want like a manager that's like giving me cocaine and it's like, this is good for you. You have another appearance in 10 garlic. Yeah, and I'm like 12 years old. Like, that is my fantasy.

[Ally]

Anything else to cover or we should just get out of here.

[Kila]

Iris lyrics. Like, I don't want the word goo goo doll.

[Kalila]

I already know Esther would hate anyone writing this about her.

[Ally]

Why are you saying that?

[Kalila]

Because it's romantic.

[Kila]

You don't like.

[Esther]

That?

[Kalila]

We'll read the lyrics first and tell me if I'm wrong.

[Esther]

Okay.

[Ally]

I'd give up forever to touch you. Cuz I know that you feel me somehow. You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be and I don't want to go home right now. This is gross.

[Kila]

I love this. I love this. Me and my ex used to sing coffee shops and write each other poems and then read them to each other. Like, I am that.

[Esther]

Ew.

[Ally]

I know.

[Kila]

I'm disgusting. I said I'm a cancer.

[Kalila]

I'm with you.

[Kila]

You like it too?

[Esther]

I love it.

[Kila]

Are you a cancer?

[Kalila]

I'm a Scorpio.

[Kila]

Okay. Yeah. We're both water signs.

[Ally]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

I love this.

[Kila]

I love this. I want to wear my. I want to wear my boy boyfriend's blood in a vial around my neck. Die in his arms. I like, don't care if we end up like if we're together now, but I want to die in his arms.

[Ally]

That's hot.

[Kila]

I know. I want to get like tattoos of each other. I want it to be like, this.

[Kalila]

Is a cover up of a boy's name.

[Esther]

Really?

[Ally]

It is. I didn't know that.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Kila]

I think that's so cool.

[Kalila]

I got it when I was 17 in Vegas.

[Esther]

My boyfriend has a cover up tattoo you of a ex's name. And so. And it. But it's like so see through. So I always am just like, hi, girl.

[Kila]

It's like those optical illusions where if you squint your eyes, you can see like a symbol in it. But it's just like, Jessica, you're like, God damn it.

[Kalila]

Wait, Esther, this is a nick for you.

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Kila]

But you're anxious.

[Esther]

Avoidant.

[Kila]

I don't understand.

[Ally]

Oh, wait, I am. But I just think that like a guy being this into you is a. It's like, like scary.

[Esther]

It's.

[Kalila]

Well, the context is that it's an angel that falls in love with a mortal. And basically, if you've never seen the.

[Kila]

Movie where the movie.

[Kalila]

Yeah. City of Angels. This is what they wrote the song for Nicholas Cage's character who is a angel falling in love with Meg Ryan who's immortal and he gives up forever to. And she. She dies.

[Esther]

Look.

[Ally]

Yeah, sorry. It's complicated because obviously I want to be loved. I want attention, I want someone to find me beautiful. But there is just something where when I think of like the one or two guys I've come across, you know, have some interactions with and they're really into me. I think ultimately that it has grossed me out and that maybe that's low self esteem. Maybe it's just the wrong guy. I don't know. I just have never really coming from.

[Kalila]

The right guy though. The mushy gushy is. Feels really good coming from the wrong guy. It's alarming.

[Esther]

Yeah.

[Ally]

It's scary.

[Kalila]

Yeah. If it's. If I already love you and you're telling this to me, I'd be like, oh, okay. But if it's someone where I'm like, yeah, no thank you.

[Esther]

Yeah. Cuz then you're like, I'm never going to write something like this about.

[Kila]

It's like if a hawkeye cat calls.

[Ally]

You, you're like, oh my God, I'm so sad.

[Esther]

We have to go.

[Ally]

This has been so much fun. I'm so glad that you guys are both here today. Are you guys on tour? Like where can people see you and fight and you have like a dating show show, hot and single.

[Kila]

I have a dating show that's everywhere.

[Ally]

What about you, Ali?

[Esther]

You can check out my website, Ali.

[Ally]

Mccofsky.Com and I watched your stand up last night. Ali is so funny and I've watched all your clip stuff. You guys are so funny and fine. You're pretty too. Like I guess you can just have it all. But yeah. Thank you guys for being here. I hope you guys come back on the show. This was so fun. And sluggies. We'll see you next week with a brand new episode.

[Esther]

Sam.