Your 20s are the Pits Ft. Rudy Jules & Meg Garcia

Summary

Podcast Title: Trash Tuesday w/ Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn
Episode: Your 20s are the Pits Ft. Rudy Jules & Meg Garcia
Release Date: December 10, 2024

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Introduction

In the December 10, 2024 episode of "Trash Tuesday," hosts Esther Povitsky and Khalyla Kuhn delve deep into the tumultuous journey of navigating one's 20s. With special guests Rudy Jules and Meg Garcia, the conversation unpacks the myriad challenges, traumas, and personal growth that define this transformative decade.

Personal Struggles and Early Memories

Meg Garcia opens the discussion by reflecting on her unconventional upbringing, sharing, “I was breastfed till three and a half years old" ([01:21]). This early experience, as per her therapist, wasn't ideal, leading to feelings of being overly dependent. Meg recounts fond memories from elementary school, particularly when her mother worked as a lunch lady, a role she adored: “I was like, oh, my God, I can't believe someone's finally articulating this publicly" ([03:13]). These reflections highlight the long-lasting impact of childhood experiences on adult life.

Building Connections and Unexpected Friendships

The conversation shifts as Khalyla introduces Rudy Jules, whom she met through SoulCycle. The anecdote about bonding in the shower post-workout sets a candid and humorous tone: “We're all naked. It's steamy bathroom" ([05:43]). Jules shares her journey of familiarizing herself with the community and navigating territorial dynamics among friends, illustrating the complexities of forming friendships in fitness environments.

Motherhood and Identity

A significant portion of the episode focuses on Jules' experience as a mother of four. She discusses how motherhood has reshaped her identity without making her feel like she lost herself: “I never saw my kids coming into my life as, like, oh this event is happening, and it's changing and shifting" ([15:44]). Jules emphasizes the ongoing balance between personal identity and parenting, contrasting it with Meg's struggles to reclaim her pre-motherhood self: “I was like, oh, that person, like, doesn't exist anymore" ([10:30]).

Mental Health: Trauma and EMDR Therapy

The hosts and guests delve into mental health, specifically discussing EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) therapy. Kalila explains, “With EMDR, I was basically able to walk through it with clarity and understand that it happened then and it no longer is happening now" ([26:27]). This segment underscores the importance of addressing trauma and the effectiveness of therapeutic interventions in managing panic attacks and intrusive thoughts.

OCD and Misconceptions in Pop Culture

Meg brings attention to the misconceptions surrounding OCD, stating, “I have OCD” and questioning its portrayal in media ([56:43]). The conversation highlights how terms like OCD are often trivialized, leading to misunderstandings about the disorder's true nature. Kalila adds, “It's ironic because narcissism is a real scary, dark thing that people really have and are" ([61:10]), emphasizing the dangers of diluting mental health terminology.

Public Life and Handling Negative Feedback

Esther shares her challenges with being a public figure, expressing how reading negative comments affects her: “I'm such a people pleaser... I still read it, and I get affected a lot" ([39:53]). This vulnerability opens up a broader discussion on the impact of social media and public scrutiny on young adults, highlighting the emotional toll of constant evaluation.

Generational Perspectives on Motherhood

The guests compare differing views on motherhood between generations. Esther expresses reluctance to have children, influenced by her upbringing: “I've seen everything, and I don't want to deal with it. I'm traumatized by it" ([11:50]). In contrast, Meg contemplates her curiosity about motherhood despite initial resistance, suggesting a complex relationship with the concept: “I'm curious because I never wanted kids either, but... I'm definitely" ([13:18]).

Holiday Season Reflections

As the episode progresses towards the holiday season, the hosts discuss their Christmas traditions. Kalila shares the Filipino perspective on Christmas as a mid-year celebration, highlighting cultural differences: “Nothing else matters. Christmas for us starts in... mid-year” ([65:31]). Jules reflects on past Christmas experiences, blending humor with nostalgia: “I was so bad and ungrateful... I was right" ([67:55]).

Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Wrapping up the episode, the hosts and guests emphasize the importance of vulnerability and seeking help. Meg encourages listeners to recognize and address their mental health challenges: “There’s nothing wrong with you. And you... you will get better" ([50:09]). The episode concludes with heartfelt acknowledgments and promotions for the guests' ventures, reinforcing the community spirit central to "Trash Tuesday."

Notable Quotes

• Meg Garcia: “I was breastfed till three and a half years old." ([01:21])
• Kalila: “With EMDR, I was basically able to walk through it with clarity and understand that it happened then and it no longer is happening now." ([26:27])
• Jules: “I never saw my kids coming into my life as, like, oh this event is happening, and it's changing and shifting" ([15:44])
• Esther Povitsky: “I'm such a people pleaser... I still read it, and I get affected a lot" ([39:53])
• Meg Garcia: “I have OCD” ([56:43])
• Kalila: “I want my gauge to be correct. I want when something hurts me to hurt me." ([38:31])

Key Takeaways

• Navigating the 20s: A decade marked by self-discovery, challenges, and significant personal growth.
• Mental Health Awareness: Importance of recognizing and addressing trauma, OCD, and the misconceptions fueled by pop culture.
• Motherhood and Identity: Balancing personal identity with parenting roles and the varying perspectives across generations.
• Vulnerability in Public Life: The emotional impact of public scrutiny and the necessity of supportive networks.
• Cultural Influences: Diverse traditions and their role in shaping individual experiences and perceptions.

"Your 20s are the Pits" offers a candid exploration of the struggles and triumphs that define young adulthood, providing listeners with relatable insights and affirmations.

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Follow Trash Tuesday:

• Instagram: @itstrashtuesday
• TikTok: @itstrashtuesday
• YouTube: Hit Our Buttons

Connect with Hosts:

• Khalyla Kuhn: @khalamityk
• Esther Povitsky: @esthermonster

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This summary captures the essence of the "Your 20s are the Pits" episode, highlighting the key discussions, personal anecdotes, and valuable insights shared by Esther, Khalyla, Rudy Jules, and Meg Garcia. Whether you're navigating your own 20s or simply seeking relatable content, this episode offers a blend of humor, vulnerability, and wisdom.

Transcript

[Esther Povitsky]

Well, I can't say inevit. Inevitable. I can't.

[Kalila]

Inevitable.

[Esther Povitsky]

I can't say it.

[Kalila]

I can't. Try. Try in.

[Esther Povitsky]

Inevitable. Inevitable.

[Jules]

Inevitable.

[Esther Povitsky]

Inevitable.

[Jules]

Inevitable. Inevitable. Inevitable. And now you're putting the T in the wrong place. Inevitable.

[Kalila]

No, guys, we're not leaving here until.

[Meg]

We get this shop. Skims Hol holiday [e-mail] available in styles for women, men, kids and even pets.

[Kalila]

Yes.

[Meg]

If you haven't yet, be sure to let them know we sent you. After you place your order, select podcast in the survey and select our show Trash Tuesday and the drop down menu that follows.

[Kalila]

Skip thank you to our sponsor, Rocket Rx. For listeners you can get 40 off your first order, use code TRASH Tuesday. Go to RocketRx.com and enter code TRASH Tuesday at checkout for 40 off your first order. Terms and conditions apply. That's 40% off your first order at RocketRx.com and using code TRASH Tuesday AT COUCHOUT. The offer 40% off your first order is only available once for new customers and cannot be combined with other offers. The offer is not available for prescriptions. Esther.

[Meg]

What?

[Kalila]

You were breastfed till three and a half years old.

[Meg]

Why is that having to come up? Why does that have to open the show?

[Kalila]

You have the actual memories of being.

[Meg]

Like, yes, I remember it. Yeah, My therapist said that it's. It's not. That wasn't good. Like, it's not. At that point, the baby doesn't need the breast milk. You know what I mean?

[Jules]

I think your therapist was salty. She sounds salty.

[Meg]

No, don't say. I'm like, oh, sorry, that was salty of me. Don't say that. Although then also when I revealed that when I was in elementary school, my mom got a job in the lunchroom at my school, my mom was the lunch lady at my school.

[Kalila]

And you were probably really happy about that.

[Meg]

I was. I loved it. I marched into the cafeteria proud.

[Kalila]

That's so cute. Because like all other kids, I'd be so.

[Jules]

I'd be mortified, embarrassed.

[Meg]

But guys, there's something wrong with me.

[Kalila]

You know, I think that's so sweet.

[Meg]

It is sweet that you wanted it, but there's something wrong. You're not hearing as an adult, like, I have severe issues.

[Kalila]

Bet you loved having your mom in school.

[Jules]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

Is like, maybe. I mean, maybe there's some separation anxiety there. Yeah.

[Meg]

Yeah. That's one of the things.

[Kalila]

Okay.

[Meg]

And then you just. Okay. I was. I saw this guy on Tick Tock and he was a grown man and he was crying. Love that. And he was saying how, like, he gets so sad and whenever he's like, having a hard time, he gets this feeling and he says to himself, I want to go home. But like, that doesn't really mean, like, anything because his home he is at, you know, his apartment or whatever. But then he's like. He interprets it as. What he means is like, he wants to go back to his childhood. And like every year that passes, he's further and further away from it. And I was like, oh, my God, I can't believe someone's finally articulating this publicly. Because that's like my whole thing. I had a mental breakdown during COVID and I like, wanted to build a shed in my parents backyard and move into it.

[Jules]

I think that's okay though, that.

[Meg]

But like, I look back on that. What? I can't believe your guys reaction. I thought it was casual, but.

[Kalila]

What kind of shed? Like a home.

[Meg]

It was gonna be really nice.

[Kalila]

Oh, okay. It wasn't.

[Meg]

You were just gonna adu cross between. Yeah, that and the shed.

[Kalila]

I feel like a shed would make you happier. I don't even think a nice adu would have. You seem like a shed girl.

[Meg]

No, you seem like a shed girl.

[Kalila]

I'm a shed girl. Wait a second. We should introduce our guests. Today is very special because we're having another family episode. And I think this is exactly what the show's sort of been missing for a very long time is having people that are actually in our lives day to day, people we talk to on a regular. We've had Jenna, we've had Jules, and now we have Meg.

[Meg]

Hi, Meg.

[Jules]

Hi, guys. Yes, thank you.

[Kalila]

I met Meg. I met Meg through. You're gonna love this, Esther. Such a hot girl. I met her because she was my soul cycle instructor.

[Meg]

Oh, you achieved the ultimate goal, which is to be become friends with your soul cycle instructor. Like, that's an impossible feat.

[Jules]

It gets better.

[Kalila]

It. Honestly, I. But you know how I got there? I had to earn her respect. I had to get really good at it and sit in the front of the class for her to be like, you know what, I want to talk to her in the shower.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah.

[Meg]

Did you actually, like. Do you have like standout students that you're like, oh, there could be something.

[Jules]

More here, like a friendship.

[Meg]

Yeah, yeah.

[Kalila]

Based on, like, my athleticism and your looks. Oh, thank you. Not right now, but thank you.

[Jules]

No, actually, when the. It was Kalila and Kawinda and then usually Jenna, my friend Jenna. So they would come in and I would see like, Their names, but I didn't know how to pronounce their names, so I was like, oh, yeah, that's. There was probably, like, an entire. Maybe an entire year that I was just like, you're here.

[Kalila]

And I'm like, when is she gonna learn my name?

[Jules]

I was just like, there's a H, there's a K, there's a Y. I'm not. Like, I couldn't do it, but I met them finally. We, like, talked for the first time in the shower, and I was talking to Kalila wearing our towels. That's the nice thing about SoulCycle. Like, truly a hot girl activity. Cause you just get naked.

[Meg]

Wow.

[Kalila]

We're all naked. It's steamy bathroom.

[Jules]

Literally steamy. White towels, condensation. Le Labo.

[Kalila]

Le Labo.

[Jules]

It was the Le Labo days.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Jules]

And I was, like, talking to Kalila, and Jenna comes out of nowhere. Kalila has a towel on her head. Jenna grabs Kalila's towel and starts cleaning her ears with it. And I was like, oh, my God, this is her lover, and she's marking me. Jenna is marking Kalila. She does not like that I'm talking to her, like, partner naked. And I probably was just like, no.

[Kalila]

We were all naked.

[Jules]

We're all naked. And. And then as I got to know them, I, like, gathered that you weren't.

[Kalila]

I do want to clarify. I do want to ask Jenna, though, if that was, like, a territorial move, which I think it was.

[Jules]

I think it was an unconscious thing of, like, on her.

[Meg]

It's really a big deal to me that you befriended your cool fitness instructor. Because once I was doing pop physique, and the prettiest teacher invited me to her house on Sunday, and I was so excited. And then when I got there, it was a pyramid scheme.

[Jules]

Wait, it wasn't even pop physique?

[Meg]

No. Well, that was the class. But then we went to her place, and it was.

[Jules]

She asked you for your Social Security number?

[Meg]

Yeah, well, she started out doing a pilot PowerPoint presentation.

[Kalila]

Oh, no.

[Meg]

And there was literally a pyramid on the screen. I was like, I think I know what's going on here.

[Kalila]

Wait, I think. Was it for Arbonne?

[Meg]

It was for Arbonne.

[Kalila]

Yeah. You know, a lot of my. Through a lot of the instructors that I used to love, I could no longer take their classes, because once I knew that they were Arbonne affiliates, I felt like every conversation was going to be about Arbonne. So I would, like, dip and dodge, like, any type of.

[Meg]

Although just hearing you say that every conversation Would be about that. There's something soothing about that for me. Like, I do want to find. Maybe I should find a multilevel marketing scheme that, like, fits for me so that I don't want to think of conversation topics anymore with new people. I want to always just try to sell them candles. Like, that sounds so relaxing.

[Kalila]

Wait, is there. Maybe you can be. What's a big candle? Pyramid scheme? Doterra.

[Meg]

Oh, that's the essential oils, so that's better for me. Essential oil.

[Jules]

I like.

[Kalila]

I've bought doterra.

[Jules]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

Jules, by the way, you used to come to these. Like, Jules used to do soul cycle with me, and she dreads it now.

[Jules]

You were so good. You dread it.

[Esther Povitsky]

No, I wasn't. I was so bad. But then at the Kalila would force me, like, we gotta go.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Esther Povitsky]

And then when I first saw you, I had, like, a girl crush on you.

[Jules]

Oh.

[Esther Povitsky]

Like, you were so pretty at the. And you were just so confident, and you stripped down and you were naked.

[Jules]

I was like, oh, my God. I know. Like, I was, like, the full predator.

[Meg]

Yeah.

[Jules]

Like, class would be over. I'd start taking my top off. Wait, that's. Thank you.

[Kalila]

And she always used to be like, she has kids.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah. I would always say, nothing turns me.

[Jules]

On more than hearing people say that.

[Meg]

And, like, hearing people say what? Because you have four children.

[Jules]

Four.

[Kalila]

That's.

[Jules]

I know.

[Meg]

They don't really do that these days anymore.

[Jules]

No.

[Kalila]

Was for the number that you wanted.

[Jules]

Honestly. Yes. My husband's 104. And I love his family dynamic. I also just love families that are really, like, you know, tight. My family is kind of dysfunctional. Everybody's fighting somebody, so I just loved. I always felt at home with his, like, family dynamic. And it was a little bit chaotic, but it took me a while to realize, like, oh, this is, like, what I want. This is my goal, that everybody wants to be with each other. And, you know, the dynamics of, like, the middle children, like, the two end children. I don't know. I always wanted four. I never thought I would. But it's something that you say because. Yeah. It's kind of weird to have four kids.

[Kalila]

Yeah. I mean, just the way you do it, though. Like, you've never said no to, like, a concert.

[Jules]

Yeah.

[Meg]

I thought you were gonna say you've never said no to, like.

[Jules]

Because also. Yeah, but that's the fun. I mean, I think that we. It's easy for us to, like, get lost in that, like, motherhood, like, category, you know, that. And then the. I don't know. I don't know a lot of moms who, like, do it. Motherhood is such a thing, too. I feel like when you have a kid and you're like, your Instagram feed becomes, like, these perfect Instagram moms, and it's very, like, marketable and beautiful and, like, the doterra and the candles. So, like, all that stuff. But I don't know, I just feel like it's. You could also just stay in your, like, lane of what you still think is cool.

[Kalila]

And maybe that is the hack, though. Like, kind of just, like, don't consume any mom content.

[Meg]

I think that's really smart. I. I definitely, for some reason, was delusional and thought that, like, it was gonna be a walk in the park. So easy get. Once the pregnancy's over, everything's back to normal. And that is, like, so not the experience. And I. I was just, like, thinking about this, how the first month after I had the baby, I was like, I gotta get back to who I was. And then, like, as time progressed, I'm like, oh, that person, like, doesn't exist anymore. And this is just, like, a fake attempt at something old that's not there. But now, I think eight months out, which I know is still, like, so new, I'm starting to feel like, oh, I can, like, put on a cute top and, like, put on makeup and. Yeah, my choker. Whereas, like, maybe three months ago, I was like, if I want to wear makeup, I'm a dirty. Like, I was just really hating myself. Like, it's so, like, I literally would think if I left the house without my baby, like, just to go do work or something, I was like, that's evil. Like, you're evil for that. But that's like. I'm shaking that off.

[Jules]

Yeah. Good.

[Meg]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

Jules, when you. I know you're only 23, but, you know, people do have kids at that age. Do you, like, what are your thoughts around, like, ever having kids? Are you just, like, totally repulsed by the idea right now?

[Esther Povitsky]

I think I'm never gonna have it. Like, I've seen my mom because she also has four kids, my mom, and I've just seen everything, and I don't want to deal with it. And it's just. I don't know. I'm traumatized by it.

[Kalila]

I think you were also parentified, where you became. Because you have to try.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah, I had to.

[Jules]

Where are you in the birth order?

[Esther Povitsky]

I'm the oldest.

[Jules]

Oh, yeah?

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah. And then my mom had to work and everything, and then I had to Help. And I was just. I was just angry all the time.

[Kalila]

Well, you had to care for toddlers, basically, and babies. And so I think that when that responsibility is, like, thrown on you.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

You kind of, you know, start to not think of motherhood for yourself because you're like this. Like, I've already raised kids.

[Jules]

Yeah.

[Esther Povitsky]

And it's like, I like kids. I'm okay. Like, I can, like, still take care, but as my own, I'm. I don't think I want one at all.

[Kalila]

What's the vibe, though, in the Gen Z? Like, are they. Is everyone like, what is it? Is it the generation of, like, wanting to have kids? Or are you guys, like, hell, no. 4B all the way.

[Esther Povitsky]

My friends, they want to have kids. Like, they, like, their dream is, like, to be a mom and, like, have a family in the Philippines. They also do that in here.

[Jules]

Yeah.

[Esther Povitsky]

So.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Esther Povitsky]

Like, there's just one friend that's like, no, I hate them. Fuck them. Them.

[Kalila]

Yeah. Like, that's Corby. That's my sister. Yeah.

[Jules]

And also the oldest. So maybe it's like a thing with the oldest. Where are you? Do you have siblings? Where are you?

[Meg]

I have an older half sister by eight years. So my birth order is kind of, like, fake. Like, there's really.

[Jules]

You were mostly, like, a single.

[Meg]

Yeah, a single. A single baby. I've been single.

[Jules]

Do you want only one baby?

[Meg]

I. That's what I thought. I know. And then I got the curse of motherhood. The. The toxic drug.

[Jules]

You're under a spell.

[Meg]

So I don't know. We'll see. Like, I don't know. But I'm definitely. Because I'm my dad's only. And my dad wasn't only, which is kind of rare for that era. Like, I'm. I'm definitely like, oh, that's, like, cool to me. It's like in the blood. But I'm curious because I never wanted kids either. But I was like, oh, me? Even when I was little, I was like. But I have this theory. It's.

[Kalila]

This is.

[Meg]

I can't even wanna share this. I think that the reason I never wanted kids is cause I didn't like babies because they got more attention than me when I was little.

[Jules]

But, like, which baby? I don't specifically named them.

[Meg]

No. I don't know.

[Kalila]

I'm shocked. But I'm also not shocked.

[Meg]

Like, I don't. By the way, I wanna be clear. I have no memory of this.

[Kalila]

It's just.

[Meg]

It's a theory I'm working up. Cause I'm like, I see other little girls. I'm like, why do they love babies? And I always hated babies when we got. I got a baby doll for Christmas for my grandma, and I was like, I won't drive home unless the baby doll's in. I don't want anywhere near. I'm like, why would I hate babies if it wasn't like, there should be a reason.

[Kalila]

Yeah. You didn't want to be, like, out competed.

[Jules]

But here's the thing.

[Kalila]

It's like, I kind of completely understand this as the baby or the younger sibling, and I think that I felt like there is a discomfort in stepping into the role of motherhood when I've been the baby of the family my whole life.

[Meg]

Absolutely.

[Kalila]

So that makes sense to me.

[Meg]

That's why I'm, like, having this insane, like, change. Like, did motherhood change you? Like, I feel like it doesn't need to change everyone because some people are already mature and fit that role.

[Jules]

I feel like it. It slowed me down. I feel like I was a bit reckless, but I still feel like I am. And I think it suits me with four kids. So, like, I never, like, I never saw my kids coming into my life as, like, oh, this event is happening, and it's changing and shifting. Everything, like, everything stops. Megan, old Megan is, like, gone.

[Meg]

You don't feel that way.

[Jules]

I don't feel that way. I feel like this baby joined me, and we keep going. You jumped on a moving train.

[Meg]

That's cool.

[Jules]

And we're not stopping for you.

[Kalila]

That's very French of you. That's very European moment almost. You almost got it.

[Jules]

I felt so hot. And then I was just. But I totally feel what you're saying, too, because there is a part of me that died when I had a baby. Like, the one that took drugs and, like.

[Meg]

Yeah.

[Jules]

The one that, like, was down for anything. And now I'm kind of like, you know, in my dough and dress.

[Kalila]

We not go on, you know, benders and stuff.

[Jules]

I won't go on a bender anymore.

[Kalila]

Yeah. Remember when we both realized that our. Your husband and my partner at the time were twins?

[Jules]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

Her husband is the Mexican Bobby.

[Meg]

What?

[Kalila]

It was, like, shocking.

[Jules]

Wait. We came over for Jess's baby shower, and the boys pulled me aside, and they were like, my dad.

[Kalila]

Yeah. Like, Bobby is like.

[Jules]

I was like, go tackle him.

[Kalila]

And I remember because she used to be like, you know what? My. My husband looks exactly like Bobby. And I'm like, that can't be true. And when I met him, I was like, oh, Even, like, from head to toe, the mustache, everything. We like short, little.

[Meg]

Did you guys ever switch?

[Jules]

Yeah, we'll talk about it.

[Kalila]

We should. Yeah. I wanted to talk about just being with, like, a short king. Have you ever been with a guy shorter? Well, Esther, it's kind of hard for you.

[Meg]

Oh, yeah.

[Jules]

Certified little person.

[Meg]

Yeah. And there's. They don't. There's. I don't think there's guys shorter than 5ft tall. I mean, I'm sure there are, but I haven't. I'm, like, just a little bit in between 5 and 5 1. You hear that, America?

[Jules]

That's right.

[Meg]

Your dreams can't come true.

[Jules]

Why don't we talk about short queens?

[Kalila]

I mean, there are tons of those. Shakira, Kim, Kardashian, Esther Povitzky, King. We haven't. We have enough short queens. But, like, no, statistically, like, not statistically. Like, as a tall girl. You being taller than Manny, Right?

[Jules]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

Like, did you ever feel like, oh, this is different.

[Jules]

Definitely. There was never ashamed at first. I was never ashamed because when I met Manny, he was, like, in a gang.

[Kalila]

Oh.

[Jules]

So I always felt safe. Yeah. Subtle flex. Not subtle. No. He was in a gang called.

[Kalila]

Don't say that.

[Jules]

Should I say no, no, no. I'm pretty sure it's just kid stuff.

[Kalila]

Oh, okay.

[Jules]

Just, like, high school dumbness. But he was in a gang. I won't say that is really hot, because I was hot and I seen him fight people. I was like, this is the guy everybody's afraid of. This is the one that I have to be with.

[Meg]

That's like, how. When I was dating the lead of the school play, I felt that way, too. Yeah. I was hot. I was like, I am safe.

[Jules]

Like, in high school.

[Meg]

Yeah. He was the king and the king and I. And I was just a chorus girl.

[Jules]

Oh, my God. So naughty.

[Meg]

I know.

[Jules]

The king and a chorus girl.

[Kalila]

I can't say I felt very safe with Bobby.

[Jules]

I felt safe with Manny.

[Meg]

He felt safe with you.

[Kalila]

When we would hear noises, when we were.

[Esther Povitsky]

He would push you.

[Kalila]

He would push me to the front, and then he would have, like, a fake katana. Like, it wasn't even a real sword. But he's like, go, babe, go. And he would, like, push me to the front. Or, like. And then I would push Jules to the front. I would throw her to, like, the intruder, basically, because.

[Jules]

But that's, like, right? If it Intruders. So you versus Bobby, they know they have their hands full with you and.

[Kalila]

Not the fake katana.

[Jules]

Yeah. And Not Bob. Yeah.

[Kalila]

But I can't say I ever felt like he could ever protect me, but it sort of, like, didn't matter.

[Jules]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

You know, but I was. What I wanted to ask you is, the first time you bed your husband, did you ever think, like, oh, this is different. Like, you know, you have to kind of positionally, like, change your body?

[Jules]

No, but let's make something very clear. I was not. He was not my husband when I. Oh, okay.

[Kalila]

That's right. You guys were in high school.

[Jules]

Yeah. I was also a minor, so.

[Kalila]

Oh, yeah. We'll not talk about minors.

[Meg]

We can bet each other.

[Jules]

Yeah. We were two minors just betting each other.

[Kalila]

Yeah. What is it like to still be with, like, your high school sweetheart?

[Jules]

It's exciting. It's really in the best way possible. It's comfortable. I feel really safe and, like, Jules has questions.

[Esther Povitsky]

I have a question. Were you, like, ever, like, did you have thoughts like, oh, like, is this the end? Like, it's just going to be him and you're.

[Jules]

Of course.

[Esther Povitsky]

And you're fine. You were like, you didn't want to experience.

[Jules]

I did.

[Meg]

You did.

[Jules]

Yeah. I was always like, this is not working out for me. This season of my life, on and off. Yeah. His family used to call me on again, off again. Megan. I know. Bitchy.

[Meg]

Well, you're on again now with those four babies. You showed them.

[Jules]

That's right. I know. Super on.

[Esther Povitsky]

And he felt the same way, too. Like, he knew.

[Jules]

I never asked him. I don't want to know. But I, like, that's. The difference in our personalities is Manny's very, like, grounded. He's a Capricorn. Do you guys believe in the Zodiac?

[Kalila]

No. I don't even know what that means.

[Jules]

You're like a Capricorn, too, then. Because I feel like Capricorns are, like, Zodiac deniers.

[Kalila]

No, I'm a triple Scorpio.

[Meg]

Can you get. Can you guess me? Oh, that's bad, huh? What about me?

[Jules]

I think it's bad. I don't know. I think it's good because I'm.

[Kalila]

You know what my birthday is? You just wished me a happy birthday.

[Jules]

It was, like, a few Fridays ago.

[Kalila]

Yeah. Yes, it was a Friday.

[Jules]

Yeah. See, but I'm not a. Scorpios are also Zodiac deniers.

[Kalila]

Famous.

[Jules]

Just kidding. I don't know that. I feel like Scorpios love the Zodiac the most because it's, like, the most badass thing to be. Everybody's like, Scorpio. Right? Isn't that cool?

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Jules]

Scorpios are Cool.

[Unknown]

I'm scared of them. My mom's one.

[Jules]

Yeah. Like, really powerful women, Scorpios.

[Meg]

I would think that people who are cancers don't like it because it's like, that's not nice.

[Jules]

Yeah. They're also supposed to be really sensitive. So that checks. That checks out. Okay. Do you want me to guess yours?

[Kalila]

Yeah, Wait, hold on. Let's. Let's. Let's say a few things about yourself that can clue.

[Meg]

I've said so many. I've actually said a lot.

[Kalila]

Okay. She. She wants, she doesn't want to compete with babies. She wants to be the baby in the family.

[Meg]

Okay, wait, side note, the other day when I was. I was playing with Ace and I was like, what would it be like if, like, Ace was actually like my sister? And I was like, I was like, let me like go into that mentality. Like, if Ace is my baby sister, like, how would that change how I felt about her? But then I ultimately was like, that doesn't.

[Jules]

I've, like, start picking on her. You're like, I'm dad's favorite bitch.

[Meg]

I was, unfortunately, I was like, no, like, I'm her mommy. Like, that's good.

[Kalila]

But you probably wouldn't mind it though. You know when, when people comment on daughter mothers and they're like, oh, you guys look like sisters. You probably would like that.

[Jules]

Yeah, for sure.

[Meg]

Yeah. But that would be like, I'm so. I. I'm 36 and she's 0.

[Kalila]

Like, there's a good chance, Esther, just based on the fact that you're 36 and look 12, that you guys will kind of grow up looking the same.

[Meg]

Wow. I should just carry around, walking around, like, have my backpack on and be like, teenage mom, my notebook, phone pulling out, like, hey, guys, I don't know.

[Esther Povitsky]

You look really young.

[Meg]

Really? Even you think it's yours?

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah, it's weird. You look like 20s, like my age. Wow, it's weird.

[Meg]

That is weird.

[Jules]

I'm kind of. I'm. Yeah, I agree.

[Meg]

I like, that is so weird because literally a little kid came up to me and was like, are you a kid? I was like, you're a kid. You're supposed to know who's a kid and who's not a fucking kid. And then I was like, oh, you know, for a second you go, well, that's good. People think I'm young. But then you're like, I'm a 36 year old woman and he thinks I'm a child. Like, that means that there's something wrong with me.

[Jules]

That Means he doesn't respect you for sure. That's all it means.

[Kalila]

Okay, so what is her zodiac based on?

[Meg]

You've heard a lot. You've gotten a lot of evidence.

[Jules]

Thank you. I feel honored to know. Okay. Are you a Pisces?

[Kalila]

Really?

[Jules]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

Why?

[Meg]

I'm. What?

[Jules]

Sad girl.

[Meg]

How did you. How do they. You're the second person that guess starts crying. Someone in my. My women's support group therapy thing.

[Jules]

I bet everybody's a Pisces there. Oh, you guys are just like, it's okay. Stroking each other. Wow.

[Meg]

Okay. I really don't believe in it, but I do also feel that I am an obvious Pisces. It's weird.

[Jules]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

Why? Can you tell me? Explain this to me.

[Esther Povitsky]

Aren't they, like, very emotional? Like, big feelings? Because he says a Pisces. Pisces.

[Kalila]

Oh, that makes sense.

[Jules]

Jules, Babe, she just told us her biggest, darkest feelings. Yeah. Yeah. But, yeah. Pisces energy.

[Meg]

Okay, but I like that.

[Jules]

Do you like sad music?

[Meg]

Well, who doesn't like sad music?

[Jules]

But mostly Pisces people really like it. Like, do you listen to Interpol and.

[Meg]

No, I must.

[Kalila]

She's like a lot of dust.

[Meg]

Yeah.

[Jules]

Sleepy and sad.

[Meg]

Girly, sad.

[Jules]

Girly sad.

[Meg]

Feminine sad.

[Jules]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

And your pole is like, us sad.

[Jules]

Yeah. Like, I'm sad. And I also want to sadness away.

[Kalila]

It's very peaches.

[Jules]

It's very peaches.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Jules]

No, the trauma away.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Jules]

I. I'm like. I'm good with it. I made peace with the trauma. Don't it away.

[Kalila]

Keep it.

[Jules]

It keeps. It Makes it interesting. Makes the whole party interesting. Yeah. It's not going anywhere.

[Meg]

Yeah.

[Jules]

We can't let anybody con us into thinking like, that. They could take away our trauma. Like, it lives in us forever, Right?

[Kalila]

It does. I think it's just a matter of.

[Jules]

How you deal coping.

[Kalila]

Yeah. How your body now reacts to it. Like, you know, through, like, emdr. It's not about forgetting it. It's just about, like you said, living with it, knowing it, getting. Getting so familiar with it that it. You don't allow it to create false stories in your head anymore.

[Meg]

Dude, EMDR helped me so much recently. Like, I Like a traumatic event that was coming up, and when it did, I would go, like, panic. You fill with panic. And then through emdr, it is what you just said. It's like. It's not that the memory goes away. It's that when it comes up, it's.

[Jules]

Just like, oh, you don't let it drive.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Meg]

There's no physical freak out.

[Kalila]

For me, the. The most. The cool thing in emdr, Jewels, they basically, you have, like, stimulation. They. They. You can choose what type of. Like. For me, it was like, binaural stimulation. Like, you have a beat here, a beat here, but basically connects both hemispheres of your brain, so you're able to, like. And then you. You. You remember, like, a traumatic memory. Like, you. You walk through it.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

But for me, the most helpful thing is I think I have, like, my body reacts very, like, violently to what I think the trauma was. I don't have, like, a clear idea of what it was. My body just reacts to it. But with emdr, I was basically able to walk through it with clarity and understand that it happened then and it no longer is happening now. It's so fascinating, you know, like, kind of like to be able to walk.

[Jules]

Through it with, like, the wherewithal of an adult, like, if it. If the trauma happened, like, at whatever stage in your life. And usually, like, when we're younger, these traumas, when we don't have the wherewithal to, like, react how we wanted to. That. That's so fascinating.

[Kalila]

Yeah. And you just basically, like, cut. You. You. You sever that line or that idea that it's still happening to you because your body is acting like it's still happening now. Right. Like, that's what trauma does, where it's, like, you get triggered, and all of a sudden you're a child again, and you're defensive or you're angry or you explode. And so with emdr, I was able to be like, that thing happened in 1992, and it's not happening in 2024.

[Meg]

The O.J. simpson murder. Did you go to EMDR for.

[Kalila]

Honestly, I. Images of the white Bronco driving away.

[Jules]

Iconic.

[Esther Povitsky]

But I saw you when you did that at the end. You were, like, crying. You were sweating. Like, you look like.

[Kalila]

Yeah. For two days.

[Esther Povitsky]

Scared.

[Kalila]

Really scared. And, like, quiet and. Because I think that people maybe have a misconception that therapy or EMDR is an easy thing to do, but it wasn't. It's really unearthing a lot. Right. So after your sessions, you. It's good to have, like, a safe person. Good to have, like, you know, someone being like, hey, I just went. I just walked through memory lane. And it was really difficult. Can you, like, watch me for the next two days while I, like, process some things? But it really, like, shakes you up.

[Meg]

Kalila. My favorite time of year is. Is drinking hot chocolate, and I'm perusing the Skims holiday collection site.

[Kalila]

Can I tell you which one I just got please. The red one.

[Meg]

Oh the red pajamas.

[Kalila]

Yep.

[Meg]

I just got a gift pack that is the fits everybody Underwear. Of course I get my jammies. I needed a new size this year cuz last year was the pregnancy size.

[Kalila]

This is a one stop shop for me, for my sister, my mom, my friends, all the girlies in my life.

[Meg]

Even my boyfriend in particular. Holiday shop. I'm telling you if you need gifts, everyone is happy when they get skims. Why you ask? Because it's comfortable, because it's good quality, super versatile.

[Kalila]

You don't have to give up looking hot for feeling comfortable.

[Meg]

And you guys can shop the Skims holiday [e-mail] available in styles for women, men, kids and even pets. If you haven't yet, be sure to let them know we sent you. After you place your order, select podcast in the survey and select our show Trash Tuesday in the dropdown menu that follows Skim Skims. Kalila, did you know that there's an easy way to have better sex?

[Kalila]

I hear it's RocketRx.

[Meg]

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[Kalila]

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[Meg]

The other thing is I I also have found that EMDR can work for things that are maybe actually like smaller. Like if you have a negative self belief which is something that I was dealing with years ago like where I was hanging around someone that always like would say something bad about me and then I through your face. Yeah and but like, like it was funny and I started to believe that and I one day I woke up and was like why do I think that about myself? I'm like I never used to think that about and then I put the puzzle pieces together and but it was like I couldn't like shake it, even though I knew. But emdr. I was like, oh, no, that's not true.

[Kalila]

It's crazy how insidious a person like that can be where they plant these tiny seeds in your head of like for you, for example, of you're not funny or you're lazy or you're this, you're A, B, C and D. And it's, you know, packaged in a way that's like funny. So our, our response is to always just take it, take it, take it. And then like you said over the years, you don't realize that that thing grows and then you become those thing that you, you, you believe it. You believe it.

[Meg]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

And it's not true.

[Meg]

And it's like literally like if, if you're watching TV and you see a commercial for Taco Bell and then three hours later you're like, I want. Yeah, it's like that, it works like, that works.

[Jules]

Subliminal.

[Kalila]

Subliminal. Yeah. We almost got there.

[Jules]

I can't say anything that has like more than three syllables. She cuts off there.

[Kalila]

But it also kind of speaks to like how permeable we are.

[Meg]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

And maybe we needed to work on that because it's like, you know, not to be at the mercy of your external like people around you. Right. So if someone is saying those things about you, like, you know, it maybe speaks to our lack of.

[Jules]

Yeah. You know, even if you're a sure, like a sure footed person, I feel like hearing that kind of stuff about yourself enough where like somebody's always trying to make you like the, like the. What is it the punchline or like. And I would get that a lot just being like the way that I parent, like I kind of get it a lot in my husband's family because everybody's very dialed in. So sometimes my sister in laws and I love them, they're perfect, but sometimes they're not perfect. No one's perfect. But sometimes they would say things like, oh, like, that's so you. You're so like unorganized. And I'm like, actually I like spin a lot of plates and like more than you.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Jules]

You know, and I think I'm doing a pretty good job. But it is. And I think I'm a sure footed person and sometimes to a fault, but I have that in my life too. And that's like the closest people to me, like my family, where they're like, oh, you're so like unorganized.

[Meg]

You know, I feel like it can even happen the most in family. Because family will see you one way that maybe you were when you were little and then, like it. Yes. They feel safest.

[Jules]

And you're the most. You're probably most prone to, like, listen to them and know it's not coming from, like, an evil place, but it's like. It might not be coming from an evil place, but it's not coming from a good place, you know?

[Meg]

Yeah. And, Kyle, you're so right, too. It's like, it is. The responsibility also lays on, like, me to. To, like, not let that permit. But now I know, and to kind.

[Kalila]

Of hear those things and being like, this person clearly doesn't know me. That's the correct response.

[Meg]

That's right. That's right.

[Kalila]

But listen, I am. I. I'm the victim of the. And I'm not the victim. I'm never a victim.

[Meg]

I was gonna say I'm so jealous.

[Kalila]

Victim. Thank you. But this is something that I've really had to learn even existing on the Internet. It's. There was a time, I'm not kidding you, when. When the whole Bobby breakup thing was happening, and then the incel. Dumb was just, like, peaking right where I literally went to therapy, and I had written down all of these things that they had said about me, and I was in tears, and I was talking to my therapist, who's been my therapist for years, and I said, lynn, can you tell me if I am these things? Like, I don't know myself anymore. Like. Like, my family says I'm kind. My family says I'm. I'm. Jules thinks I'm, you know, a good auntie. Like, these. The people in my life say I'm a good person, but I'm starting to convince myself that. That I'm evil, that I'm this. I'm abc. And the Internet is telling me this. Can you tell? And I was broken. Tell me that I. That I am these things. I need to hear it out of your mouth, because I'm. I don't know who I am anymore. They have convinced me that I am this thing. And so I understand that so fully, because you really start to mind yourself into thinking you're someone that they say you are.

[Meg]

I am so glad to hear that you. When you were going through that, you, like, like, went to a therapist. You said, here's what I'm doing. And, like, you asked for the help that you needed, which was just to hear her say, like, to me. I'm like, ugh. That's such a good sign that, like, you knew what to. You wanted help, and you knew kind of how to get it, and you were trying so hard.

[Kalila]

Yeah. They're saying, Lyn, that I'm a narcissist. They're saying that I'm a. This. That. That. That I'm the. And. And she was. She was like, kalila. Like, really? And. And, you know, I. I walked away from those sessions really learning that, you know, I had to be less permeable. How I was going to be less permeable, who knows? Because I'm always going to be a sensitive person. But I totally relate to that. It's a mind fuck when people tell you who you are, because it does get through. It does get under your skin. I don't care how strong you are.

[Jules]

Yeah, exactly. And as much as. Even as, like, outside perspective, it's like, well, you don't know these people. And it's like, it's just trolls online, but. But yeah, it's like, how can you.

[Meg]

It's advertisement.

[Jules]

Yeah.

[Meg]

Advertising the situation.

[Jules]

And you're human to want to know, like, what people say about you, you know, so it's like, how could you avoid knowing, you know, like, the. What the dialogue is about you? And there's more. Because you guys are, you know, out there. There's more about you out there.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Jules]

So it's. It's scary, but it's just like, I think it's a human reaction to want to know, and it's also human reaction to be, like, very sensitive to it. Because. Because it's fucked up.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Jules]

That people think that they know you.

[Kalila]

But I think I said this in a. In a more recent episode. Like, I've come to the realization, too, that it's like, while I want to be impermeable to all of the bad things, I don't want to not. I want to stay sensitive.

[Meg]

I love that you said this. I almost just brought this up. This is like. I've been thinking about this a lot. I feel like it was such a gem that you dropped of, like, actually, no, I don't want to be this, like, strong, tough guy that's like. You say whatever you want. It just bounces off me. Like, you want to stay. You wanting to stay sensitive is so, like, beautiful.

[Kalila]

I want to stay true to who I am. And if sensitive is what I am, then that's just. Because what happens is, if you try to just block it all off, nothing hurts me. You will have a very high threshold for bullshit and people mistreating you. You're going to be like, yeah, Go ahead, give it all to me. I don't want. I don't want that life. I want to. I want my gauge to be correct.

[Jules]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

I want when something hurts me to hurt me. When something is hurtful, that it hurts me.

[Meg]

Jules, hit her. Punch her in the face.

[Jules]

Something, like, worthy, though, just that you don't want to be jaded, that this stuff can, like, harden somebody so much that they're jaded and that, you know, like, that even family can't get through. Or, like, the family and friends, you know, like, that's. That is, like, a scary thing, and that is a thing that I think is on the line probably for a lot of people that are in the public eye, you know that you get love and accolades, and you also get a tremendous amount of hate and haters and people that, like, get a rise out of, like, scratching somebody like that, you know?

[Kalila]

But I really had to, like, turn to you guys, like, when a lot of that stuff was happening and it still obviously happens. Right. I had to, like, look at Jules. I had to look at you and look at my friends and my family and. And really be like, guys. Like, if what they say is true, can someone tell me? And no one did. You know, all of you guys were like, kalila, like, we love you. And. And so that was. I mean, and Jules had. Poor Jules. You had to live through all of that.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

Like, with me, Crazy Jules, how do you deal with.

[Meg]

Because, like, you're so young and you're in the public eye. Like, how does that affect you? Like, how does that.

[Esther Povitsky]

I think it affects me, but I don't know, because I'm such a people pleaser. And like Atikalaya always says, don't read the comments. Don't like to read it. And I still read it, and I get affected a lot.

[Meg]

Really?

[Jules]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

It hurts. It really hurts. And I'm glad it affects you because I never want you to be, like Esther says, this macho person. It. It. But I want you to also control how it affects you.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah. That's what I'm trying to, like, handle right now.

[Kalila]

Yeah, it's. It's tough. It makes me cry. Like, if I know that you are on a podcast with Bobby and Andrew, and Bobby is the Lord of Inceldom. Like, he is their lord and savior.

[Jules]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

Do you understand, like, what you're up against? Like, he is, like, the king.

[Meg]

He.

[Kalila]

Their shrines of Bobby in every basement in America, because he represents. He represents something really kind of cool in a way, which is, like, he was always been the underdog. He's not been a prototypically handsome guy by American standards, but somehow he gets the hot chicks.

[Jules]

Yeah. Don't talk about my man like that.

[Kalila]

But, you know, so, like. Like, no matter where you go, if you are associated to Bobby in any way, that is the type of demographic that you're up against.

[Meg]

But it's so weird because Bobby himself is not like that.

[Kalila]

He's not. He's not. But it doesn't matter who he is.

[Meg]

It matters how he's perceived and who likes him.

[Kalila]

And who likes him.

[Meg]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

I also think it's very difficult, specifically, for incels to wrap their head around a beautiful, smart, funny person like you being with Bobby for so long. I think that was part of it, too.

[Meg]

They were so. They.

[Unknown]

They could not handle it. I've always thought that was my perspective.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Meg]

And by the way, just an insult to him.

[Kalila]

It is an insult to him.

[Meg]

It's just a way of saying they think he's ugly.

[Kalila]

Right. And all these years, I've been the only one saying, like, I think you're hot.

[Meg]

I know. They're like, no. They're saying to their leader, no woman would want to fuck you.

[Kalila]

This is weird. This is so sad. But I'm sorry that. That I'm. I'm sorry. But I'm also not Jules, because I think you do handle it with so much grace. And you really do just, like, take it all in the chin and generally, like, you are very beloved.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah.

[Meg]

You know, you seem like you're pretty grounded and like. But. Except that one time a few weeks ago when you said that you don't go out because you're too fat. That was because you definitely have some America. Some good old classic.

[Jules]

Yeah.

[Meg]

Y2K inspired eating disorder stuff.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah. I think I'm grounded enough.

[Meg]

Yeah.

[Esther Povitsky]

But recently since I've, like, gotten older, like, I've, like. I keep getting, like, either, like, flashbacks or, like, triggers. That makes me, like. I don't know, like, I feel scared and, like, gets me, like, anxious a lot.

[Kalila]

Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. And it's that exact age I spent most of. I spent most of my young life just surviving.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

And I wasn't aware enough to know why I wasn't thriving. I was just white knuckling my teenage years. I was white knuckling most of it. I drank alcohol. I tried to blur it all out. I could not make sense of, like, any of my emotions. And it wasn't until, like, I was your age where I was like, why did these Things like, why am I afraid to go out? Why am I getting panic attacks while I'm getting my mustache waxed?

[Meg]

I know why.

[Kalila]

So, like, I remember my first panic attack was in Ayala at the mall. And I. It was so weird because I was 20 years old and I closed my eyes. I was getting threaded here, waxed here. The most minor thing, I woke up and I could not breathe anymore.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

And I had to go to the hospital that day, and all it was was a panic attack. It was my entire existence and my entire set of trauma just catching up to me in that one moment that I had never addressed because I just white knuckled my whole life.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

And, you know, during the pandemic, I. You didn't realize it then, but remember I told you we need. You need to see a therapist because I didn't want this to happen to you.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

It catches up.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah. It's like, I feel like it's catching up. And, like. Like, before, I felt, like, so in control of myself, and now it's, like, a lot, like, triggers me and, like, I don't know.

[Jules]

There's a lot of unknowns at this age, you know?

[Meg]

Oh, Jewels.

[Unknown]

The good news is you have Kalila.

[Kalila]

I feel like it's nice to have.

[Unknown]

That perspective, you know?

[Meg]

I want to love you and all.

[Unknown]

Of her and all the other aunts.

[Kalila]

You're such a sweet, cool girl.

[Meg]

Oh, my God, it's so cool of you two to open up like this. Like, you're so.

[Kalila]

I do worry about you in that way, Jules, because Bad Friends is so a joyful. There's so many joyful things about it, and it's so funny, and there's so much levity. You guys are doing this comedy podcast, but it's hard.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah, it's hard.

[Kalila]

And by the way, people forget that you came to this country. Yeah, you had me. But you left your entire family. You went through a pandemic alone in, like, you didn't have a high school experience, which you. We thought you were going to have here.

[Meg]

Wow.

[Kalila]

You ended up. Up not even having a real prom. Like, you left your entire family. You left. She had, like, an entire core base of friends. Like, you know, like, you know how you feel about high school, where you're just like, these are my friends. These are my friends.

[Jules]

I can't imagine, like, what you. You did, and then what you came to show, you know, like, I can't imagine. And also, I feel like. I think that it's kind of universal that your age to, like, even to 24 was the hardest time for me too. There's just so much uncertainty like there. It's really hard to live in the gray area. It's like you're this age and you know that you want your career, you want your career to be this. And like that is very black and white. And my life will look like this. My. Like the things that keep me up at night, like the dream of my life looks like this. And like, how the fuck do I connect the dots? Thoughts? Because right now there's so many things that are like out of your control. When you came here, like, everything was out of your control. I can't.

[Meg]

Yeah.

[Jules]

What you did was so incredible. And also thousands and thousands of people wish that they had your like life. So it's confusing.

[Kalila]

Yeah. You've always been the person.

[Meg]

I wish I had your life.

[Kalila]

Does that help? Me too, Jules. Me too. I wish I was as you by the Internet, truly. But. But you know, I wish you always have this resolve about you. And I think this is what people don't realize is that you. You do always look like you're in control. You've always been an A plus student through college. You graduate next year. You've never disappointed a single person in your life. Right. Optics wise, that's what everyone thinks. Jules will always do what she's supposed to do. Jules will always show up. She's always going to people, please. She's always going to say yes to things and be amenable to things. But like, I think that you do need to address the things that like, burn deeply inside you. It's. It's not worth it to live this life pleasing everyone but yourself.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah. That's what I'm. Thank you. Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. Like, I feel like I need like therapy.

[Jules]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Esther Povitsky]

And like to talk about it. Yeah.

[Kalila]

Yeah. And, and, and I think, Jules, like, nothing we say to you is going to ultimately make you feel good about yourself. But truly, you are one of the coolest human beings I know. Not because you're my niece, just because you're Jules. I think that if I, even if I wasn't related to you, I would still have such a deep love for who you are as a human. You really are so cool. You're great to animals, you're great to the. To. To everyone around you. And you're just cool.

[Esther Povitsky]

Thanks.

[Kalila]

But. But yeah. Oh, Julie does get better. It doesn't, Jules. It actually doesn't. Okay.

[Meg]

It goes up and down.

[Kalila]

Yeah, it goes up and down. Yes. Esther, it's not linear. Stella, that was a blatant lie. Okay, sorry.

[Unknown]

I'm saying her feelings right now. I was also my most depressed when I was 24. So I'm saying, like, your feelings right now, it'll change. You'll be miserable about something else. But what you're miserable about now won't change.

[Kalila]

You're right. The 20s are the pits.

[Esther Povitsky]

Is it like, worse?

[Kalila]

The 20s suck. You don't know who the fuck you are.

[Meg]

It's so confusing because you're like, told that you're an adult because you're not in high school anymore and you're over 18, but it's like you're not an adult. You're. I always say, like, I feel like I was a child till at least 27, if not 31, like you are. You don't have the tools yet. And I think it's this weird, outdated messaging from society that you're an adult. But I, like, you're transitioning to be an adult and you still need, like, a lot of, like, you need help from a therapist. You're so lucky to have Kalai and your other family. Like, but yes, you're. This is so normal. And there's nothing wrong with you. And you. I. I do agree with Sal, like, you will get better. But I also agree with Kala. It will then get bad again. Yeah, but you'll have learned the tools.

[Kalila]

Yeah, I think that's the main key is, like having the tools. Because I think, you know, life is like, in the way I see life, it's always going to be some level of suffering. Right. But that's what's sort of like, you know, that's the deal. That's the deal about being born, is no one lives blissfully, like, ever. And if you do, like, I probably don't want to know you because you, you'd be. I couldn't relate to you. There's some moderate amount of suffering, but we got to keep it at the moderate.

[Meg]

To be fair. The blissful people wouldn't want to know us either because we would just bum them out.

[Kalila]

We would bum them out completely.

[Meg]

So it's a, It's a mutual agreement to not talk.

[Kalila]

And no one is thriving at your age. And that's. It's. I told you, like, 23. What the was I doing? Like, probably downing a bottle of Jack, like, with my 40 year old tattoo artist boyfriend who was. God, it's a closeted gay guy and who threw a. One of those old phones. Thank God those old phones don't exist anymore because I got one thrown at my face. And he also full mounted me and punched me in the face.

[Esther Povitsky]

Oh, my God.

[Jules]

He punched you in the face?

[Kalila]

He punched me in the face, yeah.

[Jules]

Damn. 20 was really rough for you. 20 was rough for me. But also just. I mean, the beginning of the twenties was hard because especially what you said really rang true. It's like you're con. Everybody around you is convincing you that you're an adult and that you should have your shit together. And nothing is like you're stepping through jello every single time. You're like, okay, this is. It's a sham. You know, and then you do get. And then you get to, like, 36, and it's still a fucking sham. You know, like, you get your bills and you're like. But it's. It's just. It does get better. And everybody that you've ever. Anyone that you ever, like, looked to, and I'm. I'm speaking to, like, to the ones that are closest to you, like, two of the most. I don't know. You and your sis. I, like, revere you guys. Such strong women. And I know that it wasn't easy to get there. And that's why as like. As a friend, like, I do revere you, you know, because I know you have hit your. Your fucking pits and you've also come out of them. So it's just. Yeah, it's the deal.

[Meg]

Jules, what's, like, coming up for you? How are you feeling right now? Like, what's on your mind?

[Esther Povitsky]

I think I'm feeling better. You guys, like, comforted. Comforted me a lot.

[Kalila]

You know what, Jules? I also have a hard time with that word. Everyone makes fun of me. Wait, how did we learn it in the Philippines?

[Esther Povitsky]

Comfort.

[Kalila]

Comfort.

[Meg]

Comfortable.

[Kalila]

Comfortable.

[Esther Povitsky]

Comfortable.

[Kalila]

Say. I say uncomfortable. How do you say it?

[Esther Povitsky]

I say uncomfortable, but comfortable.

[Meg]

I can't.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah, I can't say it.

[Kalila]

We were taught uncomfortable.

[Esther Povitsky]

Uncomfortable.

[Kalila]

So my problem. Can I tell you my immigrant problem with this word? I came to America and I said, I am uncomfortable. And then I got teased for saying that. So I dropped three fucking letters from there. So now I say uncomfortable, which is also apparently incorrect.

[Jules]

Uncomfortable.

[Meg]

Oh, what is it?

[Jules]

Uncomfortable.

[Meg]

Uncomfortable.

[Kalila]

Uncomfortable. Oh, there's a tur in there.

[Jules]

Uncomfortable.

[Esther Povitsky]

Comfortable.

[Kalila]

Uncomfortable.

[Esther Povitsky]

Uncomfortable. Even you said clothes.

[Meg]

Clothes.

[Kalila]

Clothes. It's not clothes. It's clothes, I guess.

[Jules]

Clothes.

[Meg]

Clothes.

[Kalila]

Clothes.

[Jules]

Like your clothes.

[Kalila]

Clothes.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah, clothes. Clothes.

[Meg]

Clothes.

[Jules]

Clothes.

[Kalila]

How do you say it? Clothes.

[Esther Povitsky]

Clothes.

[Kalila]

You do say. I say clothes.

[Meg]

What? Oh, my God.

[Jules]

Put your clothes in the laundry.

[Esther Povitsky]

But you know what? I can't say enough.

[Jules]

Who gives laundry?

[Esther Povitsky]

I can't say ine. Inevitable. I can't.

[Kalila]

Inevitable.

[Esther Povitsky]

I can't say it.

[Jules]

I was like, oh, we're never gonna get there.

[Kalila]

I can't. Try. Try.

[Meg]

In.

[Esther Povitsky]

In.

[Kalila]

Evitable.

[Jules]

Inevitable.

[Kalila]

Actually, you know what you're saying?

[Esther Povitsky]

Tibble.

[Kalila]

Inevitable.

[Esther Povitsky]

Inevit.

[Jules]

Inevitable.

[Esther Povitsky]

Inevitable.

[Jules]

Inevitable. Inevitable. Inevitable. You're putting the T in the wrong place. Inevitable. Inevitable.

[Kalila]

No, guys, we're not leaving here until we get this.

[Meg]

Don't make her.

[Kalila]

Please, please, please. We have to. I'm sorry.

[Jules]

And you know what? Wait, let's go back to it really quick. We don't have to talk about it the whole time. But I feel like understanding, like, what you understand right now, without therapy, therapy will, like, kind of peel back and you're like, oh, this trigger. Actually, it looks like this on the surface, and this is what I think is triggering me, but actually, like, it's. I miss my mom.

[Kalila]

Yeah. It's a simple.

[Jules]

It's very simple.

[Kalila]

That is so true. Because the feeling in your body is so big, right. Like, now you're starting to be like, I don't want to go outside. I don't like big crowds. Why am I all of a sudden fearful? One of my favorite clips is literally Mike Tyson. You know who Mike Tyson is? Yeah, Mike Tyson. The biggest, baddest fucking uppercut, like, will uppercut anyone to death. Right? He asked one of the gurus. I forget what it was, but he was like, why am I this guy? I am Mike Tyson, one of the most feared physical fighters of my time. Why am I so afraid? And it's like, it doesn't matter how big and brute and how seemingly in control you are. It. We all have it. And you just have to figure out, like Meg said, why all of this fear is coming up for you and you can't make sense of it. And it could be as simple as, I missed my mom or that one time she took a wooden comb and broke it in my head, which I witnessed, by the way. So all of these things, you will slowly start. Start to connect. And when you connect them, you don't. You have a reason for it. And you don't. It doesn't show up in your body the same. Right. You're not going to spend your 20s, like, just living with, like, clenched fists because you don't understand why you have this, like, immense amount of fear.

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

Like, bubbling over in your body.

[Meg]

So I'm learning right now that, like, the things that I obsess over and I'm like afraid of and my anxiety, like what I've really learned, which it's taking me so long to learn. This is like, it jumps from thing to thing. So like, I'll think, oh my God, I'm just really anxious and if I just solve this one problem in my life, then everything will be fine. But it, no, it jumps around. And actually I haven't brought this up yet. My therapist said I have ocd. Does that. Do you think I do OCD or ocpd? Ocd.

[Jules]

Oh, really?

[Kalila]

I think you have an. The obsession part rings very true for me.

[Meg]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

Like, I don't see like the compulsion as much. Or maybe there is some compulsion in like the way you. Your thought patterns. But like, yeah, you tend to really, really hyper fixate when it comes to medical anxiety, especially that stuff. That's why, like, I mean, it's funny between us, but when you have like a question about like colonoscopy, say for instance, and you will not stop until you get an answer.

[Meg]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

And so I think that, that I.

[Meg]

I see that it's helped me now at least like to for now just say like, oh, when those things happen, when I'm really scared of whatever X is, I'm like. Like, that's not really true. It's my ocd. Like, it's not, it's not that I'm just so scared of this one thing. It's like this overall thing I'm dealing with. Also, I wanted to add something to previous conversation about like, people saying things about you and you believing them, whatever. Like, I've also had it where the person saying the things is me.

[Kalila]

Uhhuh.

[Meg]

And. And I've had to reach out to friends or therapists and be like, am I this? Am I this? Am I this? But the source is coming from my own, like, self hatred. I just wanted to, like, that's a.

[Jules]

Hard thing to reprogram too. Yeah, that's like the hardest thing.

[Meg]

Yeah.

[Jules]

Because all of those voices are in our head from. And I mean, I feel like, especially millennials, the M word is the M word. I just feel like we were raised by like people who were raised by like monsters, you know, so like we, our parents dealt with like, discipline. I know I can speak for myself. Like, we were, you know, like slapped around and like very verbal. Like we can call it verbal abuse now, but at the time it was just like those were the. You know, it's like all the things that you see on Instagram. It's why like, I'm getting all this shit pop up. It's like, oh. How you speak to your children is like, becomes their inner voice. And so it's something that we have to be very cognizant of. Like me as a parent, because there's plenty of times, I mean, I'm raising an 11 year old son, there's plenty of times where I just want to call him a fucking idiot because he's acting like one. But it's, it's, you know, it like all those pathways, they like just like water creates like grooves. All those pathways are very strong in our brains. So yeah, when you're like talking to yourself and however you got used to, I don't know, the millennial you just brought up, like the disordered.

[Meg]

Yeah.

[Jules]

Y2K diet, like that's forever gonna live in our bodies. Like it'll never go away.

[Unknown]

Esther, I wanted to quickly go back to the OCD thing. I feel like there's a misconception that OCD is like what Lena Dunham was in Girls with like the Tooth. But I found out that you can have OCD of the brain and I got diagnosed with it. I didn't know that. And then I went on Prozac and my life was so much better. But there's a misconception, I think, about what OCD is for us.

[Meg]

I agree. It's because it's one. What it has been, how it's been depicted in TV and film is like you have to flip the light switch seven times. And that's why when my therapist said it, I was like, I know, I don't have that. But then as we started to like lay out some things, I was like, oh, actually, yeah, that's adding up for me. That's adding up.

[Kalila]

If people who are like very superstitious, if that counts as like an OCD thing. It does, right?

[Jules]

Because, like, because if this happens, this happens kind of thing, this towel away.

[Unknown]

Then this bad thing is.

[Jules]

But is that more OCD personality? Like ocdp? I thought that was the difference.

[Kalila]

Well, what's the difference?

[Jules]

So there's, I think there's like the OCD personality, which is like the action. I could be wrong because I've also just learned this on like a podcast. But I thought that it was like the actions are like if you do the actions, but it isn't actually like living in your headspace. Like if there's something that you do, it's like, okay, yes, OCD personality. You have to have your things, like a certain type of way. But it doesn't actually mean that you have ocd.

[Meg]

Like, well, here I. Another, like, societal thing about it that has, like, made it seem like it's so not a big deal is it's very commonly used in conversation of like, oh, my OCD can't handle. It has to be organized. Like. And to me, that has. I've interpreted that as, like, it's just about people who are neat freaks and it's like a casual. Not. I don't know, it's just like a.

[Jules]

Like everybody has it.

[Meg]

Yeah.

[Jules]

Like, the lucky ones do.

[Meg]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Kalila]

Well, that's. That. That's also the problem with, like, online pop psychology is that we're learning all of these terms like gaslight, narcissist, ocd, trauma. And we just use it so flippantly, and we're not using it with, like, any kind of consideration for what the words really mean. And you're right, it kind of waters it down to the point where you're like, no. Like, it's just an everyday way to describe a person.

[Jules]

Yeah.

[Meg]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

And it's. That's. That's insane because narcissism is a real scary, dark thing that people really have and are. And gaslighting, because someone tells you no doesn't mean you're being gaslit. You know, like, that's. It's crazy now. Like, I feel gaslit. It's like how I literally just said no. Like, no, that's. And. And so it's just being overused and used in all the wrong ways. So it's. It's hard to comb through.

[Jules]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

Like, what it really is. Like, for example, like, yeah, you probably have ocd.

[Meg]

Like, one of my behaviors that, like, helped me, like, sort of connect the dots is like, especially recently, like, my anxiety has been such a high. Like, I will have to, like, drop everything I'm doing and leave the room to privately, like, Google something that I'm scared about. Like, I have to like, an obsessive, like, and then can just don't want to do anything else but, like, read, read, read. And I wouldn't have connected that to being an ocd, but through talking about it with my therapist, I'm like, yeah, that's not normal. That's weird.

[Kalila]

It's obsessive.

[Meg]

Yeah, it's obsessive. Yeah. Yeah, it's fucking weird.

[Kalila]

Yeah. And I think people who go down, like, hour long rabbit holes have that, you know?

[Meg]

Yeah, but we. But that's another thing where you're just like, oh, everyone likes to like, go on rabbit holes. And you think it's, like, not a big deal.

[Kalila]

You know why? Because we've overused the word rabbit hole. Like, everything is just. It's all these buzzwords. Like, kind of like. Like, I feel like there's a danger in that.

[Meg]

It. There is, because it's like I'm doing all this crazy shit, and I'm like, haha. It's just a normal. I'm a normal girl on the Internet. But, like, it's not normal. It's not healthy. And the more that I'm able to learn that this behavior is hurting me, then I'm. Then I can recognize it and cut it off and start to learn and grow. But if I'm just like. If I'm going blindly about it, like, it's no big deal, I'm not gonna figure it out.

[Kalila]

Do you guys want to talk about something happy?

[Jules]

I know this was a heavy one. What's your favorite fragrance?

[Kalila]

I'm trying not to do fragrances.

[Meg]

Me either.

[Jules]

I was excited to tell you Tide was my favorite. Tide.

[Kalila]

What's this other one? Suavitel.

[Jules]

Suavitel. That's like, from the bodega.

[Kalila]

I know, right? Yeah, that's my favorite fragrance. Yeah, like full on petrochemicals.

[Meg]

We don't have to talk about something happy because it's the holiday season, and people will find their happiness elsewhere today.

[Kalila]

Is this our Christmas episode?

[Meg]

No, but this season.

[Unknown]

Oh, it's just a December episode.

[Kalila]

Oh, yeah.

[Jules]

Also, I mean to bring it back. Do you get sad during the holidays?

[Kalila]

So bring it back to your sadness.

[Jules]

Jules, because I do birthdays, holidays, I get really sad.

[Esther Povitsky]

But holidays, no, they're always fun.

[Jules]

What's your Zodiac back? Yeah. You're Scorpio.

[Kalila]

Yeah. A week apart.

[Jules]

Power.

[Kalila]

This holiday season. Let me see. We're doing something different in our family.

[Jules]

Oh, sounds fun already.

[Kalila]

I look so serious with my hands like this. I think we've always had, like, wilder, funner, extreme, like, parties with games and parlor games. I think this year we're going to, like, tone it down. Right?

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah. Calm.

[Kalila]

And I think mostly because it's like, it gets expensive, and let's just, like, save money.

[Esther Povitsky]

Less. Less decorations at the.

[Kalila]

Okay, this is where I disagree. Jules's first Christmas in the United States. I bought three Christmas trees and I made her.

[Esther Povitsky]

She went crazy.

[Jules]

I just realized this was here.

[Meg]

I. I know I was immune to it. I didn't notice.

[Jules]

You said Christmas tree, and it was like me.

[Kalila]

I want you guys to know that Christmas is the Filipino Super Bowl.

[Jules]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

Nothing else matters. Christmas for us starts in. We call it the burr months. So once it hits September, everyone's like, guys, it's a burr month. But that's a lie because truly we have all our Christmas trees up by July. If you go to any mall in the Philippines, really, all the Christmas decor is up by mid year.

[Jules]

And you guys aren't over it by Christmas?

[Kalila]

Never. It makes us happy. Like, there's just singing, you know, hearing Napkin Cole, Mariah Carey, any type of Christmas.

[Jules]

Do you decorate?

[Meg]

I don't really do much, but my mom. I go home for the tree that my mom puts up, but it is fake because we all have allergies.

[Jules]

That's okay. I'm into fake trees.

[Kalila]

That is a really good point. They have spores and mold.

[Meg]

But this is a very. I'm very. I don't know what's going to happen for Christmas this year because Dave told me that Ace is Jewish. That's my daughter. And so I don't know what to do. Maybe we'll have to leave her outside when I open my presents. Yeah. I don't know.

[Jules]

Hanukkah. Are you Jewish?

[Meg]

I'm half and half.

[Jules]

Did you grow up celebrating Christmas?

[Meg]

We did. Like a little bow.

[Jules]

Both then do that. That's cool.

[Meg]

But Dave is like. He says it's weird to him.

[Jules]

Oh, he's more Jewish than he.

[Meg]

Yeah, he's real, full Jewish.

[Jules]

It's the real thing.

[Meg]

Yeah, but I'm like, Ace knee. I need to like, somehow sneak a picture with Santa and Ace. She needs it every year.

[Jules]

Do a sneaky little.

[Meg]

She needs to meet Santa.

[Kalila]

Does Christmas feel or mean something else to you when you have kids?

[Jules]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

Does it take on like, a new meaning, a new excitement?

[Jules]

I grew up not loving Christmas because I couldn't, like, trust my parents to, like, get it right.

[Kalila]

What was right?

[Jules]

Like, get me what I asked for. Got the catalog. Circle your gift, circle what you want. And I'd be like, you sure? And I'd circle it and they wouldn't.

[Kalila]

Did you write this?

[Jules]

I was like an unwrapper too. I like, unwrap it because it would be there before Christmas. I'd unwrap it and then I'd be like, I said I didn't want the Casio. You know, I was an ungrateful little fucker.

[Meg]

Me too.

[Jules]

I was so bad and ungrateful.

[Meg]

But they were just trying their best for Uggs. And I got an Ugg hat. That's obviously a misfire.

[Jules]

They really missed the moment.

[Meg]

And I was not wrong to Throw an extreme fit over that. Looking back at the tapes, even though it was a horrible, horrible things I said, I was right.

[Jules]

They're like, this is gonna blow her socks off when she opens this.

[Kalila]

That is such a.

[Jules]

That is so I love Christmas now.

[Kalila]

Insulting to ask for Uggs, which they're only known for one thing.

[Jules]

Yeah. Hats.

[Kalila]

Hats, apparently. Although I will say, like, one of my favorite comforters. I said it. Comforter. Like, sheep comforters in bed is by ug.

[Meg]

Really?

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Jules]

My dad, too. My dad.

[Meg]

I will say now that if I had that original Ugg hat today, I would be happy. I wish I had it, but I think it got returned.

[Kalila]

How did you throw fit? Like, paint the picture for us?

[Meg]

I can't. I. You'll have to ask my mom. I know you guys text. I know you can ask.

[Kalila]

Oh, yeah. You know, I texted your mom yesterday.

[Meg]

I know. She told me. She was. I was like, wow. I was like, you're a lucky lady, Mom.

[Kalila]

She says some really nice things, like, I'm really sad about your face. I'm like, oh, thank you. Everyone's trying to tell me, like, no, it's not that bad. She's like, the first person to be like, I'm really sad about your face. So I'm like, oh, I feel validated.

[Jules]

I was the second.

[Kalila]

You were the second person this morning. You're like, wow, it's actually worse than I thought.

[Meg]

Why do I not see it? Like, I'm not lying to you. I don't notice it, but thank you. I don't.

[Esther Povitsky]

It looks so much better than.

[Meg]

Maybe that's why.

[Jules]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

It looked insane, right?

[Esther Povitsky]

Yeah, insane. Like, first week. Yeah, it was crazy.

[Jules]

I think. I didn't want to believe it. And we, like, FaceTimed. And I was like, no, no.

[Kalila]

Yeah. And then today you were like, wow.

[Jules]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

Your face is still so beautiful. Thank you. Did you guys have the best lips?

[Jules]

It's not fair. Don't. There are their lips.

[Meg]

Yeah, but you guys.

[Kalila]

Shut up.

[Jules]

Just accept it.

[Kalila]

Both of you.

[Jules]

Yeah, both of you, shut up.

[Kalila]

Both of you.

[Jules]

Just say thank you.

[Kalila]

You. Let's end the show. I hate this sluggies.

[Meg]

Thank you so much for listening. And, Meg, where can people find you? Are you. Do you exist online?

[Jules]

I do. Where do we go? Instagram. On Instagram. Mega Babe 4.0. And I teach a cycling class in Whittier.

[Meg]

Oh, my God.

[Jules]

So if you're in the LA Outskirts in Whittier, it's called Drip Cycle.

[Kalila]

She really is an incredible instructor. I highly recommend taking her class. I. I've never been fitter and hotter than when I. I was taking her class.

[Jules]

I missed.

[Kalila]

I know it's been a while, but. Oh, and are you selling those hats?

[Jules]

I am. I'm selling little trucker hats.

[Kalila]

Oh.

[Jules]

I took it off when we got serious.

[Meg]

That was wise.

[Jules]

Yeah. I felt like a. Not a hat moment, but it says. It just says, mega babe. Where do I look? Super cute.

[Meg]

Oh, my gosh.

[Jules]

Mega babe hats.

[Meg]

Thank you for being here. And thank you, Jules, for being here. And everyone will find you at Rudy Jules on Instagram. And that's it. Right, Kalila?

[Kalila]

Yeah. Jules, I really, really, honestly, I'm. I love that you got vulnerable on the show.

[Esther Povitsky]

Sorry I was crying.

[Jules]

Apologize.

[Kalila]

We cried last episode.

[Meg]

Oh, so much.

[Kalila]

Me, Jenna, and Esther straight up just cried on this couch. It's okay. It's like I. I. My whole life when you cry, they're like, oh, cry baby. It's like, yeah, that's what the I am. I cry. I'm human. Things hurt me.

[Jules]

I cry.

[Kalila]

What is that, you guys?

[Jules]

The episode with the hot Korean guy.

[Kalila]

Dumbfounded.

[Esther Povitsky]

He's so hot.

[Kalila]

Everyone thinks that.

[Jules]

Eugenia, he said Korean kink, and I was like, is that a thing? Because I have that Korean kinky. Yeah, big time. You remember a Master Kim.

[Kalila]

You do have crushes on Korean guys. And my oral surgeon Korean, too. Wait, is it okay to have crushes within the marriage? Right. That's totally normal.

[Jules]

You can look at the menu.

[Meg]

What did you have an oral surgeon for?

[Jules]

I got my wisdom teeth pulled awake. Oh, I know. I have a kink for pain, too. No, I don't. I don't. But I wanted to be awake.

[Meg]

Thank you to our guests, Megan and Jules. And we love you, sluggies. We hope you're having an amazing December. And we'll see you, as always, next week with a brand new episode.

[Kalila]

You guys stay sensitive and happy holidays.

[Jules]

Stay sensitive out there.

[Meg]

Yes. Feel your feelings.

[Jules]

Yeah. Go to therapy.