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Host 1
If they were an animal, what would they be?
Ari Kitzia
Oh, my God.
Host 2 (Kalila)
Halila.
Host 1
Yep.
Esther
If you say some big back rhinoceros.
Host 1
What is it?
Host 2 (Kalila)
Are you so tiger belly isn't.
Esther
I have. I have no relations to tigers. I said any water animal.
Host 2 (Kalila)
Hi, slugs.
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Host 2 (Kalila)
Welcome to the show. Let's introduce. We have. We're welcoming back, a fan favorite, someone we love to have in the studio who makes us feel so small in a good way. Welcome back, young gravy. And today we said you're not allowed to walk in here if you don't bring your super hot, super amazingly funny, beautiful girlfriend, Ari Kitzia.
Ari Kitzia
Thank you.
Host 2 (Kalila)
Welcome. We said, we don't want you. We don't want just you. We want the girl. I love it when people say that a lot.
Esther
How did you guys meet?
Matt (Young Gravy)
She stood in my dms.
Esther
Oh, you did?
Ari Kitzia
Oh, five years ago.
Matt (Young Gravy)
What did you say?
Ari Kitzia
I said, add my Snapchat.
Host 2 (Kalila)
You said What?
Ari Kitzia
Add my Snapchat.
Matt (Young Gravy)
We scrolled all the way up recently and, like, looked back at our game that we were spitting to each other. It was. It was cute. I was like, perhaps just this once or something like that. Like, maybe just this once, like, trying to act cool. And then I added her because I thought she was hot. I don't know how long after that we first hung out, but we just were like buddies, but also kind of homies.
Host 2 (Kalila)
What? Wait, this is five years ago?
Matt (Young Gravy)
Five years ago. Oh, well, we're like buddies and kind of homies. And like, we hung out a few times and then I randomly was in Seattle and there was a heat wave and all the hotels got filled up. I needed somewhere to stay. I hit her up and she let me. Baby, no money. And like five other people stay at her parents house.
Host 2 (Kalila)
At your parents house?
Guest/Partner
Yeah. So we stayed at her parents house for like four days.
Esther
How did you introduce yourself?
Guest/Partner
Just as Matt. That and like, they. They knew our music and stuff. When I Say our. I just mean me and baby no money. Me and all my friends were under the impression that we for some reason had to pretend like I was dating her. Like.
Matt (Young Gravy)
Like, I don't know how I got that from our messages, but I was like, oh, like, she's saying that her boyfriend.
Guest/Partner
New boyfriend, is coming to stay or whatever. So then we were.
Ari Kitzia
I also never said that. Like, I didn't know about this until now.
Host 2 (Kalila)
He was just pretend.
Guest/Partner
And. And I asked her parents about it, and they said that they didn't even remember that either. And. No, no one. All of us on my whole crew were like, all right, like, let's just be, like, very cute about it if they ask about it, like, you guys are planning big things for the future. And I was like. We were, like, talking as if she, like, you know, was a super serious
Matt (Young Gravy)
girlfriend at the time.
Guest/Partner
Those same parents, you know, now. Now I'm at tight with them. And I had a good.
Matt (Young Gravy)
It was an easy way to come
Guest/Partner
back in because they already liked me.
Esther
Yeah, Remember me that sweet, younger, skipped over a lot.
Host 2 (Kalila)
Sorry, Ari. How did you feel like a guy hitting you up? Like, I need a place to stay? Like, was that, like, were you into it? Or were you, like, what is this guy's deal?
Ari Kitzia
The first time we met, I think there was, like, three of my sisters with me as well. So, like, all of them liked him already. And, like, he was just so nice. Like, the nicest person I've ever met. And I have always told everyone that. And so I was like, oh, yeah, he's so nice. Like, why would I not let him stay?
Esther
And how does that conversation eventually turn into, hey, what are we doing here? Should we make it official? Like, how long into the buddy situation where you guys, like, okay, maybe we should figure something out here?
Ari Kitzia
No, I think he was just so, like, playing around back then at that time.
Matt (Young Gravy)
Yeah. I mean, I wasn't really looking for a relationship as much, and. And I didn't realize that she had a crush on me. I don't know. I just. I thought. I thought she was on some. Like. Like, she was more quiet. I felt like maybe she didn't know each other or maybe you've become more talkative since. But I just thought she was, like,
Guest/Partner
about her business, like, oh, let's just, you know.
Esther
And were you, like, pushing those feelings down or were you, like, just trying to, like, play it cool?
Ari Kitzia
Oh, yeah, because I remember one time I was staying at his house back then and he, like, missed his flight and I was like, thank God. And then he's like, okay, I just booked another one. I was like. And yeah, I was sad. But so definitely, I. Definitely back then I wouldn't have been like, oh, yeah, I like you. Like, this time I was like, yeah, I like you. Like, what are we doing?
Esther
They're a different breed than us, Esther. We would have two weeks in. We would have been like, where's my ring? We would have already like, I'm in love with you. Yeah, let's move in together.
Host 2 (Kalila)
So you were able to play it cool. And then eventually what happened?
Matt (Young Gravy)
We both got into other serious relationships.
Esther
Whoa.
Matt (Young Gravy)
And I noticed, like, she had blocked me on everything. So I knew that.
Ari Kitzia
Oh, yeah.
Host 2 (Kalila)
Why?
Ari Kitzia
I think I, like, one of my friends actually asked, like, to go to one of your shows or something. And I might have like, texted you about that.
Matt (Young Gravy)
Yeah.
Ari Kitzia
And he always says baby to everybody in like, yeah. And like, my ex was just like, no, what he calling? I was like, I promise. He just talks like that. Like, he's not trying to.
Esther
Oh, yeah, I got you, baby orders from the end.
Ari Kitzia
And then he also wrote a lyric that talked about a lisp that wasn't about me, but my sister was texting me one day and was like, is this about you? And I was like, he definitely wrote that. Why is he writing songs? I was like, this is not about me, I promise.
Host 2 (Kalila)
Was it about her?
Matt (Young Gravy)
No, no, no. I just. I just. I thought I was really clever.
Esther
If I were you, I wouldn't have even clarified. If it was about me, I would forever just think it was about me. I'm like. And even if he doesn't admit it, it's about me. Wouldn't you, Esther?
Host 2 (Kalila)
Yes.
Esther
Cuz we're unhealthy. We're not. We're delusional. Yeah. Yeah.
Host 2 (Kalila)
Wait, Ari, how many sisters do you have?
Esther
4.
Host 2 (Kalila)
The dream.
Esther
The dream.
Host 2 (Kalila)
So your parents had five girls in five years.
Ari Kitzia
So we're all a year apart.
Esther
Oh, my God.
Host 2 (Kalila)
And no boys?
Ari Kitzia
No.
Esther
And are you guys all very close?
Ari Kitzia
Yeah.
Host 2 (Kalila)
I'm so jealous.
Esther
I have one sister that I adore. Like, she. Her and I are so close. If I had, what, three more? We'd be unstoppable. You're so lucky.
Ari Kitzia
It's so fun.
Matt (Young Gravy)
They're so lit.
Ari Kitzia
It's like built in friends. Like, that's why I feel like I'm awkward and bad at making friends because, like, growing up like our mom was just like, you don't need to have play dates. You already have four people here.
Host 2 (Kalila)
True.
Ari Kitzia
You know.
Esther
You know that's so true. Because my mom doesn't have friends and she's never had to because she had seven sisters. So she was like, why do I need to meet new people? Like, my best friends are around me all day, every day. That's so cool. I'm so jealous.
Host 2 (Kalila)
I'm just over here sad now, thinking of what could have been.
Esther
You're just going to have to get pregnant again and again and again. What?
Matt (Young Gravy)
I don't have any siblings.
Host 2 (Kalila)
You don't? That's right.
Matt (Young Gravy)
I grew up without any. I had half siblings that were way older.
Host 2 (Kalila)
Right.
Matt (Young Gravy)
They're kind of like uncles.
Esther
Wait, so you're an only child, right?
Guest/Partner
Pretty much, yeah.
Esther
I'm en route to never have. Never having another baby. I have one baby now.
Guest/Partner
You want baby?
Esther
I have one baby.
Guest/Partner
How old?
Esther
He's 15 months.
Matt (Young Gravy)
Okay.
Esther
So I think you met me. I was already maybe pregnant, brewing. Yeah, I was cooking. I'm afraid of only children, of having an only child, especially if they're boys. I feel like girls sort of like, settle a little bit better. Tell me everything I should know.
Guest/Partner
I thought it worked out pretty well.
Matt (Young Gravy)
Only child.
Esther
Did you feel like, well, socialized? All right, wait here. I have a couple questions. Do you know how to share food?
Host 2 (Kalila)
You should ask her that.
Ari Kitzia
We only share food if we go somewhere. Like, we. There's never. I think there's been one single time that we ordered separately.
Guest/Partner
We always order two things and to share them both.
Esther
And does he. Is he like, here, have half of this. Or now if you take your fork and you take something of his without permission, does he freak out? Or is he like, I don't care.
Ari Kitzia
No, I could take anything, like, ever from you.
Esther
This is such a relief.
Guest/Partner
That's great. I don't think that the only child, like, rumors are always true. I think maybe it's like, for like, rich kids or something.
Esther
But who was around you growing up? Did you have cousins or, like, brother? Sibling figures.
Guest/Partner
I barely had any family. I have. My dad had a bunch of family in Switzerland.
Esther
Yeah, I remember that.
Guest/Partner
But I had no contact with them because they didn't have, like, phones or.
Matt (Young Gravy)
I mean, I could call them or
Guest/Partner
like email them, but they barely spoke English.
Matt (Young Gravy)
And then in the US my mom
Guest/Partner
only had one brother, so I didn't really have much family. And then when my dad passed, like, it was literally just my mom. Like, my mom feels like my only family. Well, not feels like my only family because all my friends are my family now.
Esther
But it feel lonely.
Guest/Partner
Not really, because I, like, got really close with a lot of dudes when I was young and, like, stayed close to them for forever. And like, my friends were my family.
Esther
Does it feel like a dream to enter such a big family like hers?
Guest/Partner
It is, It's.
Matt (Young Gravy)
It's fun.
Guest/Partner
It's.
Matt (Young Gravy)
It's cool to like, come, come join a family gathering and like, see like, traditions and stuff.
Guest/Partner
Because I didn't like, you know, we would make up our own, my mom and I, like, how to just think of our own. I had a few friends that were in a similar situation without like, much like parents or their dad gone. So then we would always celebrate together.
Esther
Oh, that's sweet.
Matt (Young Gravy)
Yeah.
Guest/Partner
So, I mean, me and my mom and then my boy Vaughn, who lives at my house right now and helps works for me.
Esther
That's such a green flag. When people have, like, childhood friends in their life. That's so sweet. When people don't. I'm like, what have you done? Like, what horrible shit.
Guest/Partner
I know when people, like, remember meeting girls that their friend turnover was so fast.
Esther
Yes.
Guest/Partner
Or do they have a new best
Esther
friend all the time and always talking about friend dumping where it's like, oh, her and I don't talk. Yeah. It's like, how many friend dumps are we gonna go through? How many people are we gonna go through in a year? It's scary.
Guest/Partner
Yeah. I was like, how do you do that? Like.
Esther
Yeah.
Guest/Partner
I don't even know how you get mad at someone that. It's crazy.
Host 2 (Kalila)
Wait, I love your tick tock.
Ari Kitzia
Thank you.
Host 2 (Kalila)
And also, so you do of. I don't know much about that. What. What kind of stuff do you do?
Matt (Young Gravy)
Makes a lot of money.
Ari Kitzia
I do, I feel like I only really do, like, solo content. And then like, with girls, I basically show everything on there. I don't know how to describe it.
Matt (Young Gravy)
It's like diet porn kind of.
Host 2 (Kalila)
Oh, okay.
Esther
Yeah.
Ari Kitzia
Yeah.
Host 2 (Kalila)
Are you. And have you worked with Stella Berry?
Ari Kitzia
I actually am. Like, next, we actually, on Friday, we have something.
Host 2 (Kalila)
We love her. We've had her on and she talked
Esther
about you last time.
Matt (Young Gravy)
Okay.
Guest/Partner
Yeah.
Ari Kitzia
She's so smart. She's like one of the smartest people.
Esther
Smart. Yeah.
Guest/Partner
I think it's kind of tight.
Matt (Young Gravy)
It's just like, like, I made one for the purpose of. I voiced. I narrated a video of her and this girl Camilla, like, making out and doing like, you know, like a basic little girl girl video. But I narrated the whole thing, like seven minutes. And it's like, it's like smutty, like poetic, like beautiful. I. I was so Proud. I was so proud of, of that narration. So I dropped my own only fans also where you could buy it that. That video and they had it like the same video. So how they do they like distribute the videos on OnlyFans is like each person has their own account and they all just drop the same thing for the same price and then people could buy it. So it wasn't even like she made a lot off of it but like my account just from that and like what else did I put on there? I posted like a couple like BTS pictures of like her butt like from like my fancy camera and I sent like a. I sent some foot pics out because people it was honestly I had so much fun with the of because like the DMS like I just started actually responding to the DMs myself. There was just really funny requests in there or like super fans who didn't even want to like see anything sexual that just wanted to talk to me anyways. I made like it was like 60 grand off of oh my God like one video, couple foot pics and just being nice to people on there.
Host 2 (Kalila)
That's crazy. Now you're like this specific type, this breed of like girl I see online that I'm obsessed with and I never get to like ask them any questions. But like your whole social media is not of at all. It's like just really funny videos. Like you're super cute, you're funny, you're just living your life. And then like how. How do people know that you're you? It's like I don't know, I'm just
Ari Kitzia
getting nervous with so with like my socials I have to be careful because they don't. They hate like people that work in the industry. They don't want us like promoting stuff on there. So that's why like my pages are a lot more clean and not related
Host 2 (Kalila)
to almost like two separate lives.
Ari Kitzia
But I do post people I think find it mostly from like my like get ready with me to like make videos for only fans.
Matt (Young Gravy)
Post stuff that is adjacent or like hinting at it a lot.
Ari Kitzia
Yeah, I see people just like will use like words for certain like things that are like I guess like over time people start to learn like what they mean. Yeah. Like bopper like mattress actress or like movies is like stuff and like the more that you talk about it like oh, that's what that means because I.
Host 2 (Kalila)
It's crazy like your tik tok in its own right seems like it's a huge success and like that's Its own career.
Ari Kitzia
I actually just got banned.
Host 2 (Kalila)
Oh, my God.
Matt (Young Gravy)
Why we're trying to get a better
Esther
offense because I know that's how I found Stella Berry. I didn't even know she did of. I just thought she was such a pretty girl, telling fun stories and then talking about how she had a purple vagina, remember? And the genetics and the science behind it. And I was like, oh, like, this is this girl's fudgeing amazing. I had no idea for the longest time. And I think she's, like, equally as honored. She's. I'm like, this girl's great.
Host 2 (Kalila)
And why did you get banned? Do you know?
Ari Kitzia
I think somebody actually paid to get me banned a lot. That happens a lot in the industry, weirdly, is that, like, people either, like other management companies will do it because they want you to, like, sign with them and they'll like, message you right away, being like, oh, so you got banned. Like, our team has a great person that can recover your account.
Esther
Wait, that is so shady, though, that they would, you know, intentionally go after and be like, hey, if you need our help.
Guest/Partner
In this case, I think it was someone who's just like, mad because there's a lot of, like, little beef things going around on.
Matt (Young Gravy)
On with. Of girls right now, and I think they're just like, see you as a potential threat.
Guest/Partner
So they just like, got her account banned.
Host 2 (Kalila)
What are the beeps just like, between the girls or something else?
Ari Kitzia
I feel like right now, like, a lot of the stuff at least is a lot of people that work in the industry are kind of just calling out people that are like, scamming and using, like, social media to do that.
Host 2 (Kalila)
And what is the scamming?
Ari Kitzia
They'll, like, post on social media. And it's like, crazy that it's like the people with the biggest platforms that are doing this, but they'll like, act like they make, like, certain types of videos and that they. And then like, when somebody goes on their account to buy something, it'll be like, them, like, fully clothed. They're just like in a bathing suit. Even though they said, like, oh, yeah, I'm fully getting and ballsy.
Guest/Partner
Like, like that didn't know I was
Matt (Young Gravy)
gonna get by a young girl or something like that.
Host 2 (Kalila)
They're bringing you into it.
Matt (Young Gravy)
Well, just one time.
Host 2 (Kalila)
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Ari Kitzia
But yeah, I guess a lot of. A lot of girls in the industry are just calling that out because there's like, a lot of us that work, like, super honestly, and it just makes everybody else look like scammers.
Host 2 (Kalila)
Yeah.
Ari Kitzia
All that so it's kind of like ruining the, the industry a little bit.
Host 2 (Kalila)
One thing that I feel like I hear a lot about of is like, it was. It had its moment in Covid and like now it's kind of dying off, but it seems like you're absolutely killing
Ari Kitzia
it, which I recently just busted my titties outside.
Host 2 (Kalila)
No reason to apologize. Was it hard to get started or like, were you ever like, oh my God, I'm doing this and it's like not making money. Did you ever have like a hard time with it or were you like killing it right away?
Guest/Partner
Super quick to clarify the timeline. Yeah, when we first hung out, she didn't have an of or a big social media following or anything. And then, and then I got blocked on everything and I didn't know that she like was blowing up on the Internet with of and, and mainly Instagram, tick tock and stuff. And then when we got, we never finished the story. When we both broke up with our significant others and she hit me back, I was like, oh, like, like she's out here. Like, yeah, suddenly. And then we hung out again.
Host 2 (Kalila)
So was it ever like struggle bus or was it. Were you just like overnight sensation?
Ari Kitzia
When I started, like, I was not making very much money. I also wasn't doing social media. I started only fans before social media. And I didn't know that you had to like, promote it somehow to get people to like, come on your page. So yeah, I wasn't making much money. And I also was like, there was like multiple like scammy ass, like men managers that were like, you're gonna make millions of dollars, we're gonna help you and like, take all of my money and like put me in like weird contracts and stuff like that. So yeah, it was definitely like a, definitely a struggle at the beginning and getting scammed a lot. And yeah, that's why I always try to like post online. Like, hey, don't just like hop into this without educating yourself and all that because it can be like there's a lot of dangers in the industry that people don't know about.
Host 2 (Kalila)
And have you always been like, super confident? Did you have the like, thing that we all have with posting of, like, people that know me are going to see this and like, did you go through that and just have to be like, it?
Ari Kitzia
No, I think even like back in the day when we were talking, I was just posting like random twerking videos online. So not.
Host 2 (Kalila)
You were like, you never cared.
Ari Kitzia
No, I don't, I don't think so. I think that it helps also having, like, all of my sisters, because, like, I'm like, if everybody else in the world hates me, then they don't. So.
Matt (Young Gravy)
Do you remember the moment that you first announced on other socials that you were doing of, and did you use the same social media account that you had from, like, high school?
Ari Kitzia
Yeah.
Matt (Young Gravy)
Really? Okay.
Ari Kitzia
Yeah. So when I first posted on my story, it was just, like, all guys from high school that were, like, in my sister's grades, not in mine specifically, unless I just didn't know, but, like, yeah, I feel like.
Matt (Young Gravy)
Which is weird, but it's still kind of a. Yeah. Kind of a power move.
Esther
Really? The major power move.
Host 2 (Kalila)
Yeah. Like, to make money off of that. Yeah.
Esther
But also, like, not even using a new account because you're like, I was scared.
Matt (Young Gravy)
Follow me with my whole rap career. I. I made a different account and was like. Didn't want to look like a lame. So I waited until I was really successful to even tell my mom or my, like, best friends. Like, my best friend. I didn't tell him that I was making music until I had, like, an album out, and I had been doing it for, like, eight months.
Host 2 (Kalila)
And why is that?
Matt (Young Gravy)
Because I just. I don't want to be that guy that's like, oh, I'm a rapper. Listen to my. It was just. That was embarrassing. And I. And I had my face.
Guest/Partner
I didn't show my face for the
Matt (Young Gravy)
first two years either.
Host 2 (Kalila)
It is really hard to, like, put yourself out there. It is. It's like, people talk about this all the time for a reason. Like, I felt the same way. Like, I never wanted to be, like, come to my comedy show. Like, it just feels. I don't know.
Esther
Are you kidding me? I don't even tell people I podcast because for fear of, like, someone saying, well, who doesn't podcast? Everyone podcasts. Right? But then I find myself having to explain, no, I'm an OG. Like, I've been around for, like, 11 years. Like, I can't explain. Explain that. So people are like, what do you do for a living? I come up with other. I don't say, oh, I podcast. Are you kidding me? How embarrassing. Because then they're like, oh, we do it with, like, they don't. They don't. They don't assume. That's, like, it's my day job. It's my actual job. So I just don't say anything.
Host 2 (Kalila)
If you're, like, in a random casual, like a waiter, Uber driver or something, like, and they ask you what you do, what do you guys say. I say writer. Which is like, what
Guest/Partner
if I'm like in the mood?
Matt (Young Gravy)
And like, you know, I'd say maybe half the time, like if, if I'm down to have a conversation, I'll say musician. And then if they start asking about it, I'll. I'll like just say, I'll tell them the truth. If I'm like hungover or like just tired or something, I usually just say like finance. My, my DJ and I took an improv class and we were working on what, Whatever ground legs. That's what it was. We took an improv class during COVID Online.
Guest/Partner
So for like a year or two
Matt (Young Gravy)
we would be traveling everywhere for, for tour and to practice improv in the Ubers. We would, one of us would just start, would just make up a story of what we do and then we'd go off each other.
Esther
That's fun.
Matt (Young Gravy)
So we had like some crazy, crazy explanations for what we did.
Esther
I feel like finance is a, is a really like stops right there.
Guest/Partner
Exactly.
Esther
You know, no one's gonna ask anything. You know, if you say comedian, if you say rapper, musician, there's more follow up questions. What do you say?
Ari Kitzia
It depends on the situation. Like if I'm going to like the bank or something like that. Usually just say like social media or like entertainer.
Host 2 (Kalila)
Yeah.
Ari Kitzia
But if it's like people probably like vibe of people in this room, I'll just say like only fans probably. And if it was like maybe an old lady that I wanted to make mad and uncomfortable, I would just be like porn.
Esther
Yeah.
Ari Kitzia
And they, they usually are just like, don't know what to do.
Esther
I want to be there for. I did that.
Ari Kitzia
I actually did do that at the border once. Cuz the, the guy was like, he didn't believe that I owned the car that I was driving. And he was like, well, what are you doing? I was like, porn. He's like, okay, you can go. And I was like, thanks.
Matt (Young Gravy)
What would you prefer that I say when people ask me what you do? Like usually if, if someone asked me, I'm like oh, she does, she's a model. She does some social media stuff too. That's usually what I say. A model on some social media. I feel like you say influencer. That's lame.
Ari Kitzia
Yeah, yeah.
Esther
Influencer isn't.
Ari Kitzia
I feel like social media. I don't know. I'm not really a model.
Matt (Young Gravy)
You say mod yourself, then it's, dude, you did a full cover shoot with Playboy. You're definitely a model.
Esther
Model for sure. You're A model.
Matt (Young Gravy)
And you've done a ton of that, so you're definitely a model. But if you yourself say that, I feel like it feels less cool. It feels kind of, like, douchey.
Ari Kitzia
But I don't know.
Matt (Young Gravy)
I don't really say model. Like, model social media.
Esther
I like writer. You're such a fraud. But you are a writer.
Host 2 (Kalila)
That's why I feel like I can say it.
Esther
Yeah, but you know what I say?
Host 2 (Kalila)
What?
Esther
Since I say I cannot find it in me to say that I podcast, I say I produce podcasts.
Host 2 (Kalila)
Oh, my God, that's so lame. Like, not that that's lame that you say that.
Esther
No, I say I'm. I'm that.
Host 2 (Kalila)
Like, you're so not that. And it's so close to what you are.
Esther
I can't. I can't do it.
Matt (Young Gravy)
That's a good.
Guest/Partner
Like, if you don't want to talk about it, that's a good.
Host 2 (Kalila)
Yeah, I think it's a horrible one for that, because they're gonna be like, what podcasts you produce?
Esther
Because if you do podcasts, you're like, oh, what do you talk about? Oh, I do one with so. And then I have to get into the Bobby story. And then it's like, it's. It's. It's too long.
Host 2 (Kalila)
I feel like it's too close to what you do.
Esther
And it's like, what should I say?
Host 2 (Kalila)
But it's also, so far, because it's.
Guest/Partner
Speak a different language.
Esther
Yeah, do that. I speak Messiah. What do you. What.
Guest/Partner
What is it?
Esther
Beside. It's like a dialect from the Philippines. How does that help?
Guest/Partner
Well, if you just speak. If you don't speak English.
Esther
Oh, oh, oh, I see what you're saying.
Guest/Partner
You have to talk to the Uber driver. Just say something.
Esther
But if I walk in, I'm like, hi, good morning. They, you know. Yeah, I can't backtrack from there,
Host 2 (Kalila)
by the way. I'm not saying producing podcast is lame. I'm saying it's a lame answer. But for me, mine is also. It's like two. Because people are like, then what do you write? And I'm like, I don't know what to say, because I don't want to say tv. Yeah, I wrote a book.
Matt (Young Gravy)
Ever say actress?
Host 2 (Kalila)
That's the worst.
Guest/Partner
Is that.
Esther
Well, then. Because they say, have I seen you in anything?
Host 2 (Kalila)
Yeah, what have I seen you in?
Matt (Young Gravy)
Your main star of a movie?
Host 2 (Kalila)
So, like, I know, but I don't want to. If they don't know, it's best to just.
Matt (Young Gravy)
That's kind of like saying rapper where it's like, oh, they're probably. Either they're really successful or they don't. Not successful at all.
Host 2 (Kalila)
Yeah, yeah, it's. It's tricky.
Matt (Young Gravy)
It's like I dress too successful looking. So like, if I say something and they're like, oh, yeah, you do that.
Esther
Well, I get the opposite. At the bank. They're always questioning me. They are. They're always rejecting me, questioning me because I. I'm similar to you in that, like, you know, we don't brush our hair a lot. We roll up in sweats everywhere.
Guest/Partner
Me, I think it's just the chain or chains.
Esther
I feel like you're so just like, you present. Very shiny.
Host 2 (Kalila)
Yeah.
Esther
So it's hard to not wonder what you do.
Guest/Partner
I've had people a lot of times like that don't recognize me. I've just heard this a few times, especially in other countries. Like, you look like you would be famous. Like, you look like you should be famous.
Esther
And there are people that just are shiny like that.
Guest/Partner
That's cool. I never thought that by myself. That's a cool thing to think, you know?
Esther
Not us little.
Guest/Partner
I think it's because I'm tall too.
Esther
Not us. They think I'm like committing like identity theft. They think that I'm up to bullshit. Like, I remember when I first. I bought my first home, they kept looking at me while looking at my Crocs. They were just like, things aren't adding up. She looks like a fudgeing bum ass loser.
Host 2 (Kalila)
Dude, are you kidding? When I went to, I forgot what, like after premiere party I was at, and then this girl comes up to me, she's like, do you guys have more cups? I'm like, I don't work here. Like, what are. Like when I first met David Spade, he's like, oh, are you a pa? Like, who are you related to? I was like, no, David, I'm on this show with you. It's just. It never ends. What?
Matt (Young Gravy)
David Spade, horny guy?
Host 2 (Kalila)
No.
Esther
Yeah.
Guest/Partner
I just have had a lot of, A lot of girls that have been hit up by David Spade.
Ari Kitzia
I also know that I don't, I don't think that he got me, but I think that a lot of my
Matt (Young Gravy)
friends have been slid on.
Esther
I don't think that's a secret. I think he's a horny guy.
Guest/Partner
I think that's a bad thing. Like, good for him. He's like, he's getting around.
Esther
Yeah.
Host 2 (Kalila)
He's definitely not horny around me, so
Esther
I don't think he's ever been horny around me either. So we're safe.
Guest/Partner
He's looking for love. Maybe he's not horny. He's looking for some young love.
Esther
Do you think that that's a thing that some people maybe just don't have? That microchip that, like, seeks companionship and love?
Ari Kitzia
That some people don't have that.
Host 2 (Kalila)
Yeah.
Esther
Because I do wonder. They always say, like, you know, humans, like, we're flock animals where we always yearn for deep friendship and companionship. And I always look at these eternal bachelors and I'm like, what is it? Is it just that, like, companionship isn't something that they, like, yearn for? Is it always just a fuck and that's it?
Guest/Partner
I think I have. I have a few friends that have had bad enough relationships where they just, like, don't want to do it again. And then like, they're in a situation like a touring artist or something like that, where they can have, like, a bunch of little relationships in different places. They just prefer that.
Esther
Because I understand it from a woman. Woman's perspective of, like, never being in a companionship. Because, like, I understand sisterhood and I understand, like, we get so much from, like, our, like, external relationships that aren't romantic. But I always wonder, like, when men are alone or like, these eternal bachelors, it looks sad, but when I see a woman alone, it. I'm like, oh, she's free. It's like a double standard. I see it differently.
Guest/Partner
I think for men, they almost always are. They're looking for love. I feel like, like, all my homies that are older and single are like, they're. They're looking for a girlfriend and they go through girlfriends, but they're not like, you know, they're not married. They're just. They're trying.
Ari Kitzia
I think it's just because women are so, like, nurturing.
Esther
Yeah.
Ari Kitzia
Because, like, a girl could just have all of her friends and, like, feel the same, like, nurturing and support, but guys don't do that for each other as much like, they do in different ways. But, like, I feel like women can give each other, like, all of the stuff, but, like, men can't for each other as much. Like you guys wouldn't cuddle with each other in bed, but girls would do that or, like, brush each other's hair or, like, give each other back massages, but you guys probably wouldn't do that.
Esther
I wish you would.
Matt (Young Gravy)
We. I mean, you might. I do for.
Ari Kitzia
I think you guys would actually buy
Matt (Young Gravy)
homies, but maybe not cuddling. Not A lot of guys I cuddle with Austin sometimes have you.
Host 2 (Kalila)
Okay. There's this clip of Chris DiStefano, who's just like, everyone knows him. He's super funny.
Matt (Young Gravy)
Stefano.
Host 2 (Kalila)
That's right.
Matt (Young Gravy)
I mean, that sounds right, but I was thinking DeStefano, but, like, what do you say?
Esther
I say this. I think I say it the way you do.
Matt (Young Gravy)
Sounds smoother that you blew the girl away. He has a podcast, right?
Host 2 (Kalila)
Yeah, yeah, he has a couple. Yeah. Yeah. He's so funny.
Matt (Young Gravy)
He hits me up a lot. I should do it. Yeah.
Esther
Oh, yeah, for sure.
Host 2 (Kalila)
He is amazing. We have him on the show. We love him. But he had this viral clip of him talking to his baby mama, and he basically was saying, like, I fall in love with men, but I have sex with and, like, have, like, a relationship with a woman. And I thought that was so interesting because I do feel like, like, over on the girl side of the conversation, we're kind of like, is that what they. Is that what happens? And for him to, like, come out and say it. And I'm just curious, did you have
Matt (Young Gravy)
more details on the fall in love part?
Host 2 (Kalila)
Like, it's not sexual in any way. It's just like, I have a really close, close relationship with. Or they feel.
Esther
I think I also feel like San Andrew Santino came on his podcast and said that if it wasn't for his desire to, like, have sex with a woman, he would rather be in a relationship with a man. And it's more like, like, a lot of men maybe seek validation from other men. Feel. I don't know what it is, but, like, I. I feel like, not. Not a lot, though, because if my partner would have be, like, I. I prefer the companionship of, like, men. I don't think I'd date him because I need him to be. I need. I need him to be my friend. I need. I would want him to really enjoy, like, our time together and not just kind of, like, grin and bear our days together. Do you know what I mean?
Host 2 (Kalila)
I feel like every guy I've ever dated is always at some point, like, I wish I was gay. I'm like, what the does that mean?
Matt (Young Gravy)
It's just because, like, we. You know, you have your best friends that you never, like, argue with, and, like, it's all. You know, you support each other in all these, like, bro ways. But I think if you actually became gay and tried to date that person, it would just the, like, relationship and jealousy stuff would come.
Esther
You'd argue.
Matt (Young Gravy)
Yeah.
Guest/Partner
If you could convert.
Matt (Young Gravy)
I think it would become a problem. Yeah, but it's like, yeah, like a best friend situation. Like that's. They just got replaced by her recently.
Host 2 (Kalila)
I love that you're admitting it.
Matt (Young Gravy)
And they're jealous.
Esther
Isn't hanging out with a, with a girl so fun? Like, we're just. I'm sorry, but we're just like supreme beings. Like, it's so fun to be a girl.
Guest/Partner
I've always really like enjoyed being in a situation, especially if I'm the only
Matt (Young Gravy)
guy and there's a bunch of girls like, like you and all your friends and I can just like, it's just fun. And I'm used to that too.
Guest/Partner
With my mom.
Matt (Young Gravy)
Like, I would go place with my
Guest/Partner
mom and she'd have her friends or I bring girls and I don't know, I just like women more overall.
Esther
And has your mom always been like pretty nice to people you've dated or has she been like this one?
Matt (Young Gravy)
No, it's, it's funny. There was like my first.
Guest/Partner
There's been like three or four serious girlfriends, but like three that she had contact with her being the third first one she would like text her way too much and I had to like get on her aspect. Mom, please stop texting her. Like really, she was like, text her all the time. But then like when like she did something that like, or she tried to like break up with me over something. Not my mom, the girl.
Matt (Young Gravy)
And then my mom was like texting
Guest/Partner
her like, oh, don't do it. And I'm like, mom, you can't get involved in this.
Ari Kitzia
Oh my God.
Matt (Young Gravy)
My mom is like just such a sweetheart, but like really, really protective of me. And then the, the following girlfriend, she like didn't really like that much and
Guest/Partner
I think talked shit to her one time over text and like just always was like, you don't. This is not the girl for you hating like to me directly, but then also hating on her over text.
Matt (Young Gravy)
And now she's like obsessed with, with
Guest/Partner
Ariel and, and it's cute.
Esther
Oh, that's so cute.
Host 2 (Kalila)
Wait, how did it affect you though, when. With the second girlfriend where your mom was like, no, I don't like her. Like, how did you handle that?
Matt (Young Gravy)
I was just like, you're, you're tripping, Mom. That's what I thought in the time. I was like, well, I'm like, you're tripping. Like, you'll, you'll find out. It was like she only met her once and she'd always be like, oh, she's pretty. But that's, that's it kind of.
Guest/Partner
Right.
Esther
But I wonder.
Matt (Young Gravy)
Took me a while to figure it out.
Esther
Are you gonna meddle with your son?
Host 2 (Kalila)
I don't know. So, okay, so you have a boy. Yeah, I'm pregnant with a boy.
Esther
Stop saying it like that.
Host 2 (Kalila)
Okay.
Esther
I am having a boy.
Matt (Young Gravy)
It's a boy.
Ari Kitzia
Yeah.
Host 2 (Kalila)
I'm reluctantly having a boy. I had dreams of many, many girls, but whatever. And so see this, A lot of the times, like Kalila and I are like, okay, we're on this mission. How do we be the best, most non toxic boy moms out there? Because that's such a thing, right? Like, moms who are, like, really obsessed with their sons. And is there anything that his mom does that makes you feel like she's a good boy mom and that would help us?
Matt (Young Gravy)
Such a good mom.
Ari Kitzia
She is such a good mom.
Matt (Young Gravy)
I don't think my mom is like, really, really, really nice. Like, really super out, like, outgoing towards anyone that I bring around her. And she makes friends really easily and like, very, very emotional, like, very positive, but also can like, get up sad really easily. But like, like really expresses her emotions. And like, like if she loves somebody, like, she'll. She texts all my friends all the time.
Esther
Wait, I love this because I thought that maybe because I have a huge, like, I'm super emotional and I show my emotions around my family very well. I had this thought in my head that maybe it wouldn't be good to do that as much with my son. But you're telling me, like, seeing that.
Matt (Young Gravy)
Yeah.
Guest/Partner
I mean, maybe not during, like their rebellious era or whatever. Like if they're in their little whatever it is, like age 13.
Esther
Yeah.
Guest/Partner
And they hate on you when they really start hating.
Matt (Young Gravy)
I'm sorry, I mean, I won't deal
Guest/Partner
with it too, but when your kid starts beefing with you, I think just
Matt (Young Gravy)
like, my mom was very nurturing and always, like, there's also like the contrast
Guest/Partner
with my dad, who was stricter. And then my mom would let me kind of like bend the rules a little bit. That was like the. The dynamic for my whole childhood. And then once my dad passed, then it was like there was just no rules at all.
Matt (Young Gravy)
And.
Guest/Partner
And I was smart enough by that time to like follow, you know, do. Do things, follow my own rules and keep things safe and not get in trouble, really. But take care of my mom.
Esther
Oh, that's sweet. I need a. I need to call your mom and ask her for tips. It's cool to be like, he's a good boy.
Guest/Partner
It's always cool to you know, like maybe have stricter rules and then like bend them sometimes.
Esther
Yeah, to look cool.
Host 2 (Kalila)
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We've been laughing so hard about it. Like, do not try to take donut
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Host 1
We were doing a little research and we found your smut reading your book. Reading Sensual Readings, we'll call it.
Matt (Young Gravy)
Yes, yes.
Host 1
And we brought a couple with us and highlighted a couple passages. We were wondering if you could read them for us.
Matt (Young Gravy)
Yes, yes. I gladly could. Gladly could.
Host 1
These are brought from our producer, Ellie. Personal question.
Guest/Partner
So okay.
Host 2 (Kalila)
So like it wasn't me.
Guest/Partner
Are you?
Matt (Young Gravy)
So, so there's some highlighted things here.
Guest/Partner
Is that where I'm reading?
Matt (Young Gravy)
It checks out. Give it A little bit of context here. The only one who's truly in danger is me.
Guest/Partner
No. I whisper.
Matt (Young Gravy)
I tip her chin up, brushing my lips softly against hers. The sharp intake of breath has my cut.
Esther
I get called Jules. She can't be reading this.
Ari Kitzia
No.
Host 2 (Kalila)
I'm gonna become a book burner. I'm going full conservative. That is scary.
Matt (Young Gravy)
I had hella people commenting that I should like get that book and read it. And then I, I did the same thing. Opened to a random page and I was like, wow, this is a lot.
Esther
I do feel like you should just do audiobooks.
Guest/Partner
I've done one.
Esther
I mean all of them. I would love to do they. This series should hire you to just read.
Guest/Partner
I did a collab with Audible and we did one audiobook and I like, I'm like, let's do more. And yeah, I don't know how to hit up but like I wanna.
Host 2 (Kalila)
Do you read this stuff?
Ari Kitzia
No, I don't think I would read it after. Yeah, maybe if it was more just like horny stuff, but maybe not like stalker, stalker rapist vibes.
Matt (Young Gravy)
I don't like that. But she's like into it. She like plays into it. It's. It's weird, but I don't. There's no, no redeeming qualities. It's just weird. The best ones though, for smut that I've. From what I'm told and from what I've seen and read Akatar, that series is like actually a good story.
Esther
Yeah.
Guest/Partner
And there's nut busting.
Esther
Yeah. My sister and. And Jules reads Acotar too.
Guest/Partner
I've been really into reading lately. I went to Iceland with my mom and I'm trying to like do sort of like a dopamine reset situation because like I just stopped taking Adderall and, and stopped drinking for the most part. Besides this buzz ball. Been like kind of, you know, stopped ADDERALL after like 10 years of taking it.
Matt (Young Gravy)
So.
Host 2 (Kalila)
Oh my God.
Esther
Retaking it because you need it. A prescription. Yeah.
Host 2 (Kalila)
Every day pretty much. Wow.
Matt (Young Gravy)
So yeah, it actually wasn't as bad of like a come down as I expected, but I just didn't want to like have like video games or something else to do. So I like started reading books and I got really into it. I just read this book called the Name of the Wind. Recommend it for anyone watching this. It's like some wizard type. It's like adult Harry Potter banger. A couple Stephen King books.
Host 2 (Kalila)
I would imagine going off Adderall after 10 years would be like super painful and difficult, but Also, you're so tall. I feel like maybe nothing affects you. Like, you're the kind. You look like the kind of guy that could just eat a whole pizza. And you're like, all right, what are we doing next?
Matt (Young Gravy)
Like, I can eat a pizza for show. Yeah. I say for the first week after, I was pretty tired. I slept a lot, but I was on vacation at a spa with my mom, so it was like, perfect time to sleep.
Esther
Oh, yeah.
Matt (Young Gravy)
And then I think for like a week after that, I was like, pretty unmotivated. And now I'm kind of like coming around the bend. And I, like, looked it up and it's on forums people were saying it would take like six months to get your motivation back. But, like, I'm still kind of getting like. I'm sorry, I'm getting it already after two weeks.
Esther
I have a question for you both. I was in a very public relationship for a decade, and when that ended, it was super painful for me. Super humiliating in many different ways. What would you say are the pros and cons of being so public?
Matt (Young Gravy)
I think we're lucky because we genuinely
Guest/Partner
are like the same person in a lot of ways and we don't fight ever. And I think if we were fighting, then there would be more issues because
Matt (Young Gravy)
it would be hard for us to look cute all the time. But pretty much anything that gets captured of us as just normal, wholesome, cute things.
Esther
You guys look like the funnest, sweetest, most adventurous couple.
Guest/Partner
We're pretty like just normal, down to earth people. I think that helps a lot. Not like some of the other people that are famous in relationships.
Ari Kitzia
I don't. I feel like. I never really feel like, super extra about like, that we're like in a super public relationship maybe just because we are used to like, already being at least what I would think that people would experience in like a relationship that was in public. I feel like we just kind of get to do more fun things because of it.
Matt (Young Gravy)
We're in a special case, I think,
Guest/Partner
because we don't fight and we like, work together well. So we end up doing a lot
Matt (Young Gravy)
of, like, brand deals.
Guest/Partner
I'll just bring her in on it as well. And vice versa. Like, we get to work together on stuff and like, she helps me with social media, I help her with, like, finance things.
Matt (Young Gravy)
It's.
Guest/Partner
It's really nice.
Host 2 (Kalila)
So perfect.
Matt (Young Gravy)
It's pretty ideal.
Esther
Would you and Dave.
Host 2 (Kalila)
What?
Esther
I mean, you don't post Dave at all.
Host 2 (Kalila)
He doesn't want to be a part of things. He's made it clear. And so, like, when I get a little bit of him, I'm just lucky.
Matt (Young Gravy)
I never wanted to have a public relationship, and I, like, didn't think I ever would, no matter who I dated. And, like, there were, like, brief relationships I had with big figures that could have been public, but I was like, no. But when, like, her and I were hanging out, I was like, she's so cool. Like,
Host 2 (Kalila)
I love it. I also particularly love it as, like, a watcher. Like, yeah, I love when people share their relationships and you can just. It just feels like you really get to know the people. I'm super all about it, but I'm like, I'm also someone that shares a lot and he is not a public person at all. Like, he's very private and, like, shy. And he actually is a writer, unlike me, who lies and says that I'm one. So I think it's just his personality. Like, and even when we started dating, like, there was a slow, gradual adjustment for me of like, oh, I'm not going to be so open about certain things anymore, because that's just not comfortable. But still, I. I do cross the line sometimes. Like, I don't know, I feel like he'll, like, open his Instagram and be like, oh, Kalila has likes to have anal on. What's the drug? He's just like, what is your job?
Esther
I don't like to have anal on Ambien. I. I took Ambien in high school for my first anal experience because I was so afraid that I wanted to be half checked out. Yeah, this is. It was a crazy story because you
Guest/Partner
don't have Ambien now.
Esther
No, no, no, no. I don't around with ambient because I'll tell you why I don't around with Ambien. I was extreme dieting in my 20s. And this is before keto, there was Atkins diet. And I. I had a zero carbs in my body and I was so hungry all the time. And I took an Ambien one night and I woke up in the morning with like 20 plates around me and crumbs of food. And it turns out before they had like the slow release Ambien, I slept, ate. I ate in the middle of the night. I slept, walked my ass to the fridge and pig the out my mom
Guest/Partner
would do that with.
Esther
Really?
Guest/Partner
Yeah, I remember seeing it, like, multiple times. And then I stole Ambien from her when I was like 14. And my friend and I would take it and like, if you stay awake, you get into like a euphoric Trippy.
Esther
Yeah.
Guest/Partner
Sort of feeling.
Esther
That's it. That's it. That was the whole thing, right? Like, if you stay past, you know, if you stay awake, past when you're supposed to go to bed, then it becomes, like, psychedelic.
Guest/Partner
You know, what's interesting was, I think.
Matt (Young Gravy)
I don't think we talked about it last. We talked about other drugs last time,
Guest/Partner
but there was a while when I was, like, late high school where I got an Ambien prescription.
Host 2 (Kalila)
In high school?
Guest/Partner
In high school. So I had an ambient prescription. And I was taking it, taking it during the day because it didn't make me tired anymore, but it would give me this, like, euphoric feeling. And I had, like, a summer where I was working at a summer camp and I was the fishing director, and I had my own little lake that I would just hang out at every day. And then the kids would come after a few hours. So I'd wake up at, like, 7am Take an Ambien and, like, swim in this lake and, like, look at the sun. And it was like, the most. I'll never forget, like, that couple weeks where I was, like, I don't know, euphoric. And somehow it just didn't make me tired.
Esther
Camp counselors are crazy.
Matt (Young Gravy)
I like that.
Host 2 (Kalila)
I love that people can just do anything.
Esther
They can do anything. You know, drugs affect them differently. Everything is a euphoric experience.
Host 2 (Kalila)
Like what you're talking about. I'd be dead in two hours. Like, there's no way.
Esther
Anal on Ambien. It would be dead in two hours.
Host 2 (Kalila)
And then the lake. On the lake, I can't swim. I can't tolerate drugs. Like, that's just a disaster for me.
Matt (Young Gravy)
Anal and Ambien while pregnant. Sounds like a bad idea.
Host 2 (Kalila)
Yeah, I think so. I think especially.
Guest/Partner
Why are camp counselors crazy?
Esther
Because you guys always come up with stories about how you guys were on drugs and swimming in a lake on
Guest/Partner
AM
Esther
while, like, being the fishing director. You know what I mean? So I'm like, okay. And it's every camp counselor I come across, they always have these wild stories of being on drugs on a lake.
Matt (Young Gravy)
I want my kids, our kids to go to camp. Summer camp. They have to. Because, like, when I went, that was
Guest/Partner
when I learned to express myself.
Matt (Young Gravy)
And I loved all the. All the counselors and, like, away camp. Yeah. Like, you go stay there for, like, a week. Like, like, what? Hot American summer type camp where you sleep in the cabins.
Esther
That's good to know. I would have never even considered camp for my kid.
Guest/Partner
That's what I did, and it was beautiful.
Host 2 (Kalila)
People love camp.
Esther
They do.
Host 2 (Kalila)
Did you go?
Matt (Young Gravy)
People are. It's like a cult.
Guest/Partner
It's like a cult.
Ari Kitzia
Sounds like my worst fear. Probably, like going to a camp by myself and having to make friends with people that was.
Matt (Young Gravy)
Right.
Host 2 (Kalila)
Sleeping away from home.
Matt (Young Gravy)
Some of my best friends, like, literally, like my photographer Dylan, who I met
Guest/Partner
when I was 10, who. That she knows. Like, he works for me now.
Ari Kitzia
Did you know anyone when you went or. It was like all just new people.
Matt (Young Gravy)
It was a couple kids from my high school, but most of them I met, like, new friends.
Esther
And do you go back the same year with the same group of kids?
Guest/Partner
We go back the same week every year. And like, there'd be new people every time. And then. And then once you get to know them, everyone there. Well, then you, like, get older and you become a counselor in training. Then a counselor. And like, I never knew until. They're really good at hiding it. Like we as the counselor, like, all the ones that you hear about that turn up, they're good at hiding it so the kids don't know. And you know, you're. You're on point when you're around the kids that you're not around.
Esther
Yeah.
Host 2 (Kalila)
I have a question for you. So I, in my stand up lately, I've been talking a lot like, how I'm pregnant with a boy and I don't really want a boy or whatever.
Sponsor/Ad Voice
And I.
Host 2 (Kalila)
But my first is a girl, so I do have a girl. But at one of my shows then this couple raised their hand at the end. They're like, we just wanted to share that we have five boys. And I'm like, were you guys trying, like, that's a lot of kids. Like, were you guys trying to. To get a girl? And they're like, yeah. I'm like, oh, my God, that's crazy. Is. Do your parents ever talk about, like. Because it's a lot of you. Were they trying to get one boy?
Ari Kitzia
No, my dad missed his vasectomy appointment. Actually, that's why the. My mom got pregnant with the last girl. So they weren't like, trying. I think they were like, after four, they were like, oh, well, guess we're not getting a boy. And then they were like, oh, actually, I guess we're pregnant again.
Matt (Young Gravy)
It really.
Ari Kitzia
So he missed the appointment and then it was just another girl. So I don't know if they were trying. I feel like our dad had fun, like, having all girls too, especially because we all, like, played sports and like, her dad's really cool.
Guest/Partner
About it.
Matt (Young Gravy)
Yeah.
Host 2 (Kalila)
I have such a hypocritical take on this. Like, and I know I, I just feel like every man should have a daughter. Like, there is no bond more special than, like, father daughter.
Matt (Young Gravy)
I want to have a daughter more than.
Host 2 (Kalila)
Yeah. Like, when I see my husband and my daughter, I'm like, that is like, what I'm on this earth to observe. Like, I love, I'm so happy to be, like, a part of that. But then I, I, I don't feel like that about, like, mother son, but
Matt (Young Gravy)
I don't know it. No, just. You'll get there.
Host 2 (Kalila)
Really?
Esther
I think so.
Matt (Young Gravy)
My mom and I are so tight.
Host 2 (Kalila)
Really?
Guest/Partner
Yeah.
Matt (Young Gravy)
It's like one of my best friends, you know, really? With her and my other bestie. Yes. Text her every day. She's so cool.
Host 2 (Kalila)
That is what we want.
Esther
Yeah.
Matt (Young Gravy)
And I think the reason why I'm like, a lot of the positive things about my personality, people like it, I think, and, like, my ability to bond with women easily is because my mom and how much time I've spent with her.
Host 2 (Kalila)
Do you feel like mother son is magical?
Esther
Mother son for me is absolutely magical. And which I was, like, not expecting at all because again, I was like, I've only, I only have sisters. Right. Like, I love everything about sisterhood. I can't think about a life without my sisters. But when I had a son, it's just like, it doesn't matter. But also, like, the way that a little boy wants his mama is really, like, next level special. And this isn't even in, like, a boy mom way, the way all babies need their mama. But, you know, you have a little boy and he's just, like, very, like, rugged, and he wants to up all day, but then when it's time, he's like, no, I want.
Guest/Partner
My mama is like, oh, moms are so comforting.
Matt (Young Gravy)
I was always, like, very close with my dad, but, like, a little bit closer to my mom. Always felt a little bit like, you
Esther
know, it sounds like you just had great parents.
Guest/Partner
I did have really good parents.
Esther
And that. You have great parents. You have great parents. And I think that it's not like a boy girl thing. It's just a good parenting thing.
Matt (Young Gravy)
Yes.
Host 2 (Kalila)
You know what else I think is a really good recipe for, like, a successful relationship that you guys have. Just, like, on your. What just naturally is a lot of times in your 20s for me and many people that I know, like, for a girl, like, you got a boyfriend and you're like, that's everything. Like, that's like my Whole world, like, and you kind of. Your friends go to the side, but it's like you have these built in. You have this many sisters. Like, you're never. He's never going to be your only thing. Like, you're always gonna have these sisters to go to. And I always try to tell people that, like, your boyfriend, your partner is not there for everything. Like, they're your partner. They're there for a lot, but it's not the person you go to with every little thing.
Esther
In my m. A One stop shop for all.
Host 2 (Kalila)
Yeah.
Esther
All the things happening, I think that's
Host 2 (Kalila)
a recipe for a disaster. But when you. You lean on friends or your siblings or your parents and other people, like, it makes for a much.
Esther
This is so true. Because there are things that I'll stop myself halfway if I want to share something with my partner. And I'm like, I stopped myself. I'm like, you know, he isn't the audience for this.
Host 2 (Kalila)
Yeah.
Esther
Like, it's nice that he knows this. This is what's going on, but this is actually not, like, the kind of support that I need. So I will go to, like, my sister for it, and then she's able to really give me, like, the support. And sometimes I'll go to him that. For things that she can't necessarily, like, help me with.
Host 2 (Kalila)
Yeah. And I feel like in my 20s, like, I would just go to the. The boyfriend for everything, and it's like, they don't. That's not. It's not how successful partnerships work.
Matt (Young Gravy)
I think we're super integrated into each other's, like, crews, you know, like, her sisters and me all have a group chat. We all, like, plan things together and trips and stuff. And then I have, like, a group with my whole household. And then we have a separate one that's the Round Valley Queen group, where it's like, all my boys that live at my house, which is between, like, 4 and 7. Like, if she's coming over, it's like, all right, Queen's coming. Clean up. Like, get it ready. Like, they're all, like, they all love her and they all want to, like, take good care of her. So, like, all my boys are, like, protecting. And, you know, if she needs something, like, assembled, like construction, you know, the boys go over there and help out.
Esther
You don't assemble?
Guest/Partner
I. I don't. No, I could.
Matt (Young Gravy)
I.
Guest/Partner
Well, I could and I've tried, and then, like, I always get pissed, and I just don't feel. I'm like, this is a waste of
Matt (Young Gravy)
my time
Host 2 (Kalila)
having kids. There's so much to assemble. I feel so bad for Dave. I'm like, there's another thing here to assemble.
Esther
Oh, yeah. I just order all day. I don't even consider assembly because I just, like, that's not my job.
Host 2 (Kalila)
He's probably good at it, though. Aloha probably likes.
Esther
Yes. Yeah, Aloha is very good at assembly.
Matt (Young Gravy)
It feel.
Guest/Partner
It does feel good when you do it right. But like, I remember doing like a side table thing and the directions were really hard to read and I, like, didn't do it perfectly and it pissed me off forever because I, like, I couldn't fix it then and I had it and I just. It was a little wobbly and I. Yeah.
Esther
Oh, the wobble. The worst.
Host 1
All right, I have some newlywed questions for you guys. We have some boards that you can write on.
Matt (Young Gravy)
Oh, okay.
Esther
Esther and I always lose this. Do we cheated to win.
Host 1
For the first questions will be both of you guys answering, like, all four of you answering at the same time. And then there's a few that are more targeted where you have to kind of guess what the other person would. Would answer.
Matt (Young Gravy)
All four. Oh, okay.
Host 1
Right. First question.
Matt (Young Gravy)
Who's the better driver out of us.
Host 1
Yep. And then between Kalila and Esther and don't show each other your answers. Who's the better driver of the. Of the partner? All right, if we're. Are we ready to flip?
Host 2 (Kalila)
Yeah. Okay.
Host 1
All right, flip them.
Host 2 (Kalila)
Hopefully this should be very easy for us,
Esther
but barely. Barely.
Matt (Young Gravy)
Okay, y' all got it, right? I said her.
Guest/Partner
Hey.
Ari Kitzia
I was gonna say myself, but. But I don't know.
Matt (Young Gravy)
You want to be nice. I mean, I'm not a bad driver,
Guest/Partner
but you just drive.
Ari Kitzia
Only because one time you hit, like, that mailbox.
Matt (Young Gravy)
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Ari Kitzia
But I also hit a car. When I was texting you a picture of that hotel we stayed at, I
Guest/Partner
was thinking about your driving in Whistler, and it was really good.
Esther
Well, that is really. That's major, cuz it's snow and everything. With Esther, I would say, you know, I would appear like the better driver, cuz I am. You know, it's. It's a fraud. I'm a fraud. I drive like a grandma. The only thing I haven't done that you've done is drive downstairs.
Host 2 (Kalila)
That's the thing is I drove down the stairs a few years ago, and I'm just. I'm never going to.
Matt (Young Gravy)
That's so funny.
Host 2 (Kalila)
Love that.
Esther
But that's. That's the only reason why I said me.
Host 2 (Kalila)
By the way, thank you for Saying that.
Host 1
All right, next up, who's the first to apologize after an argument
Esther
they won? Let's go one by one.
Host 1
Sure. Let's have our guests go first.
Matt (Young Gravy)
All right, me or same time?
Ari Kitzia
I put both.
Matt (Young Gravy)
All right, healthy people.
Host 2 (Kalila)
Healthy people.
Ari Kitzia
Who's going first?
Esther
I'm gonna. Okay, me again. I put Esther, but barely.
Host 2 (Kalila)
Okay, I put me because I'm a coward. But we also kind of never argue.
Esther
We never really. I think there was one time that we fought, but I think I. I apologized first. Yeah, but barely. I'm not afraid to say sorry. I'm also. Okay. Sorry is, like, gold in my book.
Host 2 (Kalila)
But then there was also the time where, like, there was a little bit of a thing, and immediately I was. I called her. I was like, should we go to couples therapy? She's like, what are you talking about?
Esther
She's insane. If there's even, like, a one tiny molecule of, like, a bad vibe, she's like, we should go to couples therapy. I'm like, you're crazy. I'm not gonna do that. We're fine.
Host 2 (Kalila)
I'm a coward.
Matt (Young Gravy)
I think our arguments, if they ever happen, it's usually me saying something that, like, comes out wrong.
Ari Kitzia
And then I just.
Matt (Young Gravy)
And then she gets sad, and then we, like, make it up, and I, like, explain myself. So it's almost all. It's very rare, but it's almost always I say something that just comes out wrong. And it's not like, a big deal, but we just get, like, a little.
Ari Kitzia
I feel like we've never intoxicated about, like, something serious. Like, last time, you were like, oh, yeah, the dogs are kind of annoying. I was like.
Matt (Young Gravy)
It was like me calling her. I called her dogs annoying and, like, worded it wrong.
Esther
Like, honestly, that would make me cry too.
Guest/Partner
But I love them, but they were being annoying at the time.
Host 2 (Kalila)
If.
Esther
If someone said my dogs were, like, too much, I would be like, you don't understand. Like, they're my babies.
Matt (Young Gravy)
You know what I said? I think what I dropped was. I might have said, like, everyone thinks they're annoying, or. So I said something like that. So it was kind of fucked up, but it came out wrong. And I was like, oh, my God, did I, like, my bad. Like, everyone thinks your dogs are annoying.
Guest/Partner
That's kind of.
Matt (Young Gravy)
That's kind of bad.
Esther
That's. That's harsh.
Host 2 (Kalila)
It's so harsh with Dave, like, sometimes, like, if there's a little argument, like, a couple hours later, he'll be like, like, is there anything you want to say? Oh, I'M like, oh, I need to think about that.
Host 1
All right, guys, next up, who's more chronically online?
Host 2 (Kalila)
Oh, that's hard.
Host 1
Let's go ahead and reveal them.
Matt (Young Gravy)
Hey, there we go.
Esther
Oh, times five.
Matt (Young Gravy)
Approximately times five, I'd say. I just.
Guest/Partner
I'm scared of the Internet.
Ari Kitzia
It makes me anxious to do it, so.
Guest/Partner
Yeah, she has to.
Matt (Young Gravy)
And I'm anxious to do it. She helps me.
Esther
I put me, but maybe I put Esther, but barely.
Guest/Partner
You just not even erase it from last time.
Esther
Yeah, I just keep it there. Yeah, I think low key. I am. I just. I'm tapped in. I just try not to appear tapped in.
Host 2 (Kalila)
Yeah, I feel like you're more low key about it. And I'm not shy.
Host 1
Okay. These are about one partner and specifically. And the other person has to guess their answer. Okay. So maybe Ari and Esther will have the answers and Kila. Matt will have to guess what is their biggest ick?
Matt (Young Gravy)
Biggest ick?
Host 2 (Kalila)
What is my biggest ick?
Host 1
What is Esther's biggest ick? Esther write it and then kiss.
Matt (Young Gravy)
Biggest.
Ari Kitzia
Not about you?
Matt (Young Gravy)
No, I don't have any in general.
Esther
It's her biggest. Okay, I have one.
Ari Kitzia
I wonder if you're going to get this. You might not.
Matt (Young Gravy)
There's one obvious answer and then go
Host 1
ahead and turn them around.
Matt (Young Gravy)
Her most recent.
Ari Kitzia
Okay, actually, that. That is pretty true.
Host 1
Is that kind of what you said in the car?
Ari Kitzia
No, I said men with big egos or if they flirt with me or talk to me.
Host 2 (Kalila)
Same.
Ari Kitzia
Same time that I like, cringe in general. But that's the most thing that makes me like, oh, I hate. And I'm mad and annoyed.
Matt (Young Gravy)
And that's what I was gonna put was like, like men, creepy men hitting on you.
Guest/Partner
But then I'm like, the worst possible one. Is that that motherfucker?
Host 1
Yeah. Esther Carlila.
Esther
I wrote, she doesn't have one because she loves anyone who loves her.
Host 2 (Kalila)
That's true. I just. I couldn't think of anything. But I just wrote people posting TBTs
Matt (Young Gravy)
because it's like, oh, I like those.
Host 2 (Kalila)
I don't think.
Matt (Young Gravy)
You don't have to think about it.
Guest/Partner
And you just post something that happened.
Esther
I thought you wouldn't have one because you remember you told a story about how you dated a guy who had. Who. Who worked in a fry fish place and he smelled like fried fish every day and you still couldn't break up with him.
Host 2 (Kalila)
Yeah, I didn't want to break up with him. I wanted to be with him.
Host 1
All right, we'll switch it for this last one for who's answering for who?
Esther
But big egos is so right, by the way.
Host 2 (Kalila)
Yeah. Any guy hitting on you, it's like,
Host 1
if they were an animal, what would they be?
Ari Kitzia
Oh, my God.
Host 1
Yep.
Matt (Young Gravy)
Oh, there's a few options here.
Host 2 (Kalila)
I know.
Host 1
Obvious is usually good. That's how you know you can get a correct one.
Esther
Think elements. Ostergies.
Matt (Young Gravy)
No, sorry.
Esther
This is how we cheated last time.
Host 2 (Kalila)
I don't understand what she said.
Host 1
I think elements.
Host 2 (Kalila)
I know it's wrong, but I have good reasoning.
Host 1
It's okay. Kalila and Esther want to go first this time.
Esther
If you say some big back rhinoceros, what is it? Are you so.
Host 2 (Kalila)
Tiger belly isn't.
Esther
I have no relations to tigers. I said any water animal. I even put dolphin because I'm like, she doesn't know anything other than a dolphin.
Host 2 (Kalila)
But you're like a tigress.
Esther
I'm a tigress?
Ari Kitzia
Yeah.
Esther
I'm a. I'm a water animal. I said think elements. I told you, we always lose this. You don't know me.
Guest/Partner
Give her some extra options.
Ari Kitzia
I have extra options, and I'm scared.
Matt (Young Gravy)
You go first.
Esther
A maned wolf.
Matt (Young Gravy)
Oh, hell.
Esther
A snow leopard.
Matt (Young Gravy)
Hendrix. Okay, she. She snapped, so maned wolf. You guys gotta put a picture up on the podcast.
Guest/Partner
What that is. It's like the lankiest fox wolf thing.
Matt (Young Gravy)
You. You. She actually outdid me because that is,
Guest/Partner
like, my favorite animal.
Host 2 (Kalila)
That's so cute.
Guest/Partner
Like, the pictures of it, like, walking. It's so lanky and.
Ari Kitzia
Oh, cute.
Guest/Partner
One bad.
Matt (Young Gravy)
We joke about that a lot. I put golden retriever plus lion plus
Esther
otter plus octopus all over the place.
Ari Kitzia
This makes sense because you're really smart.
Matt (Young Gravy)
But I like octopuses a lot.
Ari Kitzia
The other ones I feel like are just based off of the looks of them. Golden retriever and lion. Because, you know, the hair I get
Guest/Partner
compared to golden retrievers a lot.
Ari Kitzia
Snow leopard is, like, one of the
Esther
coolest animals and very elusive.
Matt (Young Gravy)
Hendrix is my dog, and.
Guest/Partner
Yeah, I get that.
Host 1
Very cute, you guys. Well, ranging champions.
Esther
But, you know, otters are. Even though they are so cute and so wonderful in many ways.
Host 2 (Kalila)
Yeah, they're.
Sponsor/Ad Voice
They're rapists.
Host 2 (Kalila)
Oh, my God.
Guest/Partner
Oh, that's right.
Esther
They drown.
Guest/Partner
Yeah, they rape and drown.
Esther
They do that. Yeah, they're crazy.
Host 2 (Kalila)
There should be a smut book about otters.
Matt (Young Gravy)
Weren't we talking about some kind of weird rape last time, too? Like, was it dog or something?
Host 2 (Kalila)
Oh, no. Maybe I brought up my uncle's dog.
Host 1
Go.
Host 2 (Kalila)
Sexually assaulted and impregnated.
Matt (Young Gravy)
Yeah.
Esther
What?
Matt (Young Gravy)
Yeah. Yeah, we talked about that.
Host 2 (Kalila)
My cousin Maggie, the dog.
Matt (Young Gravy)
The cousin's not a dog. Yeah.
Host 2 (Kalila)
Anyways, on that note, thank you so much to our guests. It was so fun hanging out with you and finally getting to meet you.
Ari Kitzia
Cool.
Host 2 (Kalila)
Are you guys promoting anything? Are you on tour or.
Matt (Young Gravy)
I'm off tour now and I'm making new music.
Guest/Partner
It's really fun.
Matt (Young Gravy)
We shot a video for a song called hbo, which is my next single.
Esther
Oh.
Matt (Young Gravy)
Nothing to do with the. With the programming.
Host 2 (Kalila)
Okay.
Matt (Young Gravy)
Thing. Just a little Bitches on me. Hbo.
Host 2 (Kalila)
I'm curious. And what is the best place to find you on social media? Because it's obviously very complicated.
Ari Kitzia
I have a lot of different ones. I feel like Instagram always.
Matt (Young Gravy)
It's just like the main gravy and Ari Kits. Yeah.
Sponsor/Ad Voice
Okay, cool.
Host 2 (Kalila)
You guys, thank you so much for being here and thank you to our listeners. And we'll see you guys next week with a brand new episode.
Matt (Young Gravy)
A brand new one.
Podcast Hosts: Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn
Guests: Yung Gravy (Matt) & Ari Kitzia
Release Date: March 31, 2026
This lively and candid episode welcomes fan favorite Yung Gravy and his girlfriend, content creator and OnlyFans star Ari Kitzia. Esther and Khalyla dive into the couple's relationship origins, the dynamics of public relationships, families, social media, adult content creation, and hilarious "newlywed game" moments. The hosts and guests navigate everything from awkward Uber driver conversations, the stigma and business of OF, crazy camp counselor stories, to honest talk about love, boundaries, and growing up.
[01:35 - 05:03]
[06:03 - 09:01]
[09:54 - 17:49]
[17:12 - 18:41]
[18:56 - 24:17]
[25:44 - 27:38]
[42:34 - 45:46]
[46:38 - 53:14]
[53:09 - 54:35]
[55:19 - 63:10]
“Otters are rapists.” – (Esther, 63:17)
A running joke, referencing animal facts and smut literature.
[39:04 - 41:49]
[63:57 - 64:31]
The episode is a characteristic dose of Trash Tuesday: warm, crude, honest, and sharply funny. Matt and Ari’s chemistry is evident and endearing, while Esther and Khalyla press into both silly and substantial territory—whether it’s internet hustle, family drama, handling fame, or what to say at the bank. Peppered with sexual humor, candid admissions (“Anal on Ambien”), and wholesome sisterly (and mother-son) love, it’s a fun, fast-moving hour—both lighthearted and revealing.