*PREVIEW* A Knightscope’s Tale feat. Josh Boerman

Summary

TRASHFUTURE – PREVIEW A Knightscope’s Tale feat. Josh Boerman (June 26, 2026)

Episode Overview

This episode dives into the bizarre promotional tactics of Knightscope, a security robotics company, and focuses on its self-published AI-driven short stories, The Knightscope Chronicles. The hosts dissect the outlandish narratives used by Knightscope to dramatize their security robots as crime-solving heroes—all in the spirit of “making yourself smarter with the continued psychic trauma of capitalism.” The crew, joined by guest Josh Boerman, highlights the absurdity of Silicon Valley storytelling by reading and satirizing “Case Eight” from the Chronicles.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Knightscope’s AI Hype and Storytelling Gimmicks

• Artificial Intelligence as Investor Catnip
  • Knightscope execs are hyping up “AI” in quarterly reports, claiming it will “rewire the robotics industry and make the operations more efficient.”

    “Predictably, Knightscope executives are now jumping to artificial intelligence, telling investors in their Q1 earnings report that AI will rewire the robotics industry...” —Host Riley (00:00)

• Knightscope’s Dubious ‘True Crime’ Fiction
  • The company self-publishes The Knightscope Chronicles, a set of ‘true crime’ stories featuring their bots thwarting suburban crime sprees. These are presented as “gripping collections” inspired by real events, though they're clearly exaggerated to the point of absurdity.

    “Knightscope's most visible AI deployment seems to be a series of bizarre self published fan fiction... robots on the front lines of a suburban dystopia called Sentinel Shores.” —Riley (00:16)

2. Satirical Dramatic Readings of The Knightscope Chronicles

• Live Reading of ‘Case Number Eight’

  • The hosts and guest Josh Boerman enact “Case Eight,” an overwrought crime story driven by pulpy clichés (e.g., a barefoot woman, a gas-station robbery with a nail gun, a monstrous criminal, and the ever-vigilant K5 security robot).
    • Memorable theatrical roles:
      • Nova as the panicked victim
      • Josh Boerman as the monstrous robber
      • Hussein as narrator and dispatcher

    “Riley, did you bring me on to do some dramatic readings? Is this what I'm hearing?” —Josh (00:29)
    “Chronicles, case eight. A Knightscope Chronicles case. Sentinel Shores. Nova, could you please play the lady calling the helpline? Josh, could you please play the armed robber?” —Riley (03:02)

• Reactions to the Story’s Outlandish Details

  • The group lampoons AI-generated clichés: grotesque villains, exaggerated violence, awkward descriptions, and improbable heroics from the robot.
  • Notable recurring joke: the strange, persistent detail that the victim is barefoot.

    “Why is it so important that I’m barefoot?” —Nova (10:45, 10:51)

3. Deconstructing AI Narrative Logic and Real-World Inspirations

• AI-Generated Strangeness

  • The team notices classic AI storytelling anomalies, like forced metaphors (“like someone snoring through broken lungs”), irrelevant violence, and strange fixations on physical details.

    “This is definitely written with the cadence of, like, an erotic story. I’m just gonna throw that out there right now.” —Josh (06:21)

• Claims of ‘True Event’ Inspiration

  • Skepticism abounds at Knightscope's claim these tales are “inspired by actual events.” Josh finds a headline that sounds just plausible and weird enough for training data:

    “Man bites chunk out of deputy’s head inside robot at music festival. Florida officials say.” —Josh (11:31)

• Discussion of Potential Story ‘Prompts’

  • They speculate on the odd prompt ingredients (e.g., barefoot protagonist), hinting Knightsope’s stories might be the result of unfiltered AI story-generating.

    “That was probably in the prompt. Make it Barefoot Ellis.” —Riley (11:58)

4. Meta-Commentary & Cultural Satire

• Comparison to Classic Tropes and Media
  • Jokes about the Chronicles resembling American newspaper comics or noir/crime B-movies.

    “Now, this is a Mary Worth plot line. This is… This is American Newspaper Comics.” —Nova (01:49)

• Meta-References: Internet Ephemera and Fandom
  • The hosts mock the way companies try to delete embarrassing content; Riley reveals he rescued a copy before it went offline.

    “You thought that you could take down Nightscope Chronicles. Wrong, bitch. I had it open the whole time because I knew you’d try this.” —Riley (11:58)

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Notable Quotes and Memorable Moments

• (00:53)

  “Riley, I have awful fucking news for you. It literally just went offline… You just saved it in time.” —Josh Boerman

• (02:04)

  “Halloween morning is a deeply unwholesome formulation.” —Nova

• (05:44)

  “He seemed not to be hugely invested in his life. He was kind of like… You know, it’s kind of blase about it really.” —Nova, on the clerk's reaction

• (06:21)

  “By the way, this is. This is definitely written with the cadence of, like an erotic story. I’m just gonna throw that out there right now.” —Josh Boerman

• (09:39)

  “I think maybe this guy should be able to, like, do whatever he wants, because apparently if we try to tase him, he’ll bite a cop’s face off like Hannibal Chimpanzee.” —Nova

• (10:57 & 10:51)

  “Why is it so important that I’m barefoot?” —Nova (recurring)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:00–01:18 — Knightscope’s AI & Chronicles Introduction
• 01:18–03:02 — Summaries of earlier Chronicles cases
• 03:02–11:58 — Dramatic reading and live riffing of Chronicles Case Eight (“the craziest one”)
• 11:33–11:58 — Real-life news headline inspiration & final jokes

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Takeaway

This episode sharply parodies the bizarre, try-hard public relations efforts of tech companies like Knightscope—especially their attempts to combine AI, security robots, and overwrought fiction into branding. The group’s dramatic readings and relentless satire highlight how disconnected these narratives are from reality, serving more as self-parody than effective advertising. For listeners, it’s a hilarious and pointed indictment of Silicon Valley’s storytelling hubris and the odd results when AI meets corporate PR.

Transcript

[A]

Predictably, Knightscope executives are now jumping to artificial intelligence, telling investors in their Q1 earnings report that AI will rewire the robotics industry and make the operations more efficient, blah, blah, blah. But. And this is what I'm getting at, because we're not. The article is the way into something else, but for now.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Knightscope's most visible AI deployment seems to be a series of bizarre self published fan fiction. Depending as robots on the front lines of a suburban dystopia called Sentinel Shores. The Nightscope Chronicles.

[C]

Oh, fuck, yeah. Riley, did you bring me on to do some dramatic readings? Is this what I'm hearing?

[A]

I did, yes. Yeah. Yes, I did. That's exactly what I did. The company describes the Nightscope Chronicles as a gripping collection of true crime fighting short stories that are inspired by actual events. In each installment, the company's security bots and surveillance devices empower business, law enforcement, and communities to prevent and solve crimes. And they've not been taken off the Internet.

[C]

Riley, I have awful fucking news for you. It literally just went offline. I was. I. Shit.

[A]

Don't worry, Josh. Don't worry. I've had it open the whole time.

[C]

God, like, it's. Seriously. I clicked on it just now and the 404 is gone. You just saved it in time.

[B]

This is. You know, they could. They have. They have good intelligence.

[A]

Because the futurism article came out about it. I was like, they're going to take this offline.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

I kept it open, unfortunately. Okay, we are going to share this and all the pictures with this episode because they're not getting away with this. All right, so I'm going to summarize a few of them and then we're going to read Nightscope Chronicles 8, the craziest one. So Knightscope Chronicles 7, a flamboyant con artist known as Baby Bob defrauds the elderly until he's caught by a K5 robot, which spots him as he peels off a realistic mask that's been hiding his identity.

[C]

Damn it, get that robot out of the way. I'm your uncle, Baby Bob.

[B]

Now, this is a Mary Worth plot line. This is. This is American Newspaper Comics.

[A]

In Nightscope Chronicles, number five, City hall receives a threatening call to, quote, keep your eyes on the bridge, Halloween morning. And deploys another K5 to monitor the area.

[B]

Halloween morning is a deeply unwholesome formulation.

[A]

I don't like that. Locks on a suspicious man using thermal imaging, a technology it does not have to detect a gun under his clothes and recording him as he Mutters menacing phrases like they'll regret ignoring me.

[B]

Well, they're based on true stories. They're not necessarily true stories.

[C]

You could have just stopped with. They're based, Nova.

[A]

Yeah, they're so based.

[B]

Yeah, of course. I have a question. I have a question. Do we know what Akbar Lajavadian thinks about these?

[A]

Oh, we could.

[B]

And if we don't, is there a way of finding out?

[C]

I've got great fucking answers.

[A]

I actually tried asking Akbar Lajivardian, like, questions that about modern times, and he did not. He declined to answer.

[B]

And he's not interested. He's thinking about his rugs and carpets in the PVC blinds industry.

[A]

Why don't you ask me about the

[C]

textile industry walking into the karaoke bar? Hey, does anybody have any information about how the rug and carpet industry evolved after the Razor Shah's reign ended?

[A]

Okay. All right, everybody, please scroll down to the bottom to Chronicles, case number eight. Chronicles, case eight. A Knightscope Chronicles case, Sentinel Shores. Nova, could you please play the lady calling the helpline? Josh, could you please play the armed robber? I will be. Hussein, you're the narrators. I'll do the narration. Okay, great. Okay. Chronicles, case eight. A. Nightscope Chronicles case. Sentinel Shores, part one. The K1 emergency call box. Nova, please take it away. Please.

[B]

He's chasing me.

[A]

Her words break on the line, breath sharp, almost a sob.

[B]

He killed the clock. He's got. It's like a nail gun.

[A]

Sentinel Shores. Police dispatch comes back. Steady, calm.

[B]

Hussein, you're not alone. Stay on the line. Officers are on the way.

[C]

Oh, that was. That was a very believable dispatcher.

[B]

Good work, Hussein, but I've been practicing.

[A]

Oh, so nothing for me?

[B]

Okay, I guess I'll just go fuck myself.

[A]

Stretch of blacktop cutting through. Nothing. No headlights, no homes. Just one figure, barefoot on the shoulder, clutching a handheld phone. Part two, the robbery.

[B]

Why am I barefoot?

[A]

We gotta inquire. As neon hum inside the gas station, fluorescents flicker. The clerk looks up as the door slams. Then he's there.

[C]

Oh, fuck.

[A]

A giant shape fills the doorway. Shoulders too broad, frame crooked and wrong. A face twisted, jaw offset, one eye higher than the other. Skin scarred and uneven lines. I'm going to share a screenshot of the. Of the criminal in Nightscope Chronicles number eight.

[C]

That's pretty good, Josh.

[A]

That's who you're playing.

[C]

I'm this guy. Oh, nice.

[B]

Okay, I. That's a guy with acromegaly and a nail gun. This is crazy.

[A]

This is a fucking Ogryn from Warhammer.

[B]

He's got the kind of like waxy AI generated image sheen as well. So he looks like a kind of like lubed up knuckle, but also has a nail.

[C]

It's definitely like a Dewalt specifically, but because it's AI, you know, the branding is fucked on it. He's at a gas station here.

[A]

He lets out a loud, gross grunt. The shelf sound rattles the shelves. Then hiss. Pop. The nail gun fires. The clerk screams, hussein, please.

[B]

Please don't take the money. Just don't kill me.

[A]

Another grunt.

[B]

Great gas station pluck as well. Thank you.

[A]

Another grunt. Louder. Another shot.

[B]

This guy's just grunting.

[C]

Yeah, there's no lines for me in here, Riley.

[B]

What the fuck?

[A]

Don't worry, I'm. You can do the narration after part three.

[C]

Thank you.

[A]

Another grunt. Louder. Another shot. Money scatters. The clerk crumbles. Part three. The bathroom. Josh, take it away.

[C]

She hears everything. The grunt, the scream. The clerk's voice breaking as he begs for his life. Then quiet for a second. Nothing.

[B]

Yeah, he seemed not to be hugely invested in his life. He was kind of like. You know, it's kind of blase about it really.

[C]

For a second, nothing. Just the hum of the fluorescent light above her stall. Then it starts. Footsteps. Heavy, slow. Each one pounding like bass she can feel in her chest. Louder. Closer. Each step shaking her to the core. Then the steps stop. Only breathing now. Thick, uneven. Like someone snoring through broken lungs. See, you're much better at the grunting, Riley.

[A]

That's good.

[C]

A hand smacks against the bathroom door. The frame shudders under the weight.

[B]

This is how I worry that CIS women feel when I use bathrooms.

[C]

By the way, this is. This is definitely written with the cadence of, like an erotic story. I'm just gonna throw that out there right now.

[A]

You know what it was that gets for me? Like someone snoring through broken lungs. It's like that's an AI generated line to sound definite. So her breath catches.

[C]

A sharp involuntary gasp. She panics, scrambles for the tiny bathroom window, fingers clawing at the frame. Behind her comes the sound. His face smashing against the door. Grunts, wet and awful between blows. Then his shoulder. The wood begins to splinter. She kicks herself through the window. She kicks herself through the window, tumbling onto gravel. Looks back and sees him break through. Hands, massive nails, yellow and cracked. For one sickening second, their eyes lock. Then she runs. Part 4 the run. No traffic. No lights. Only gravel tearing her feet and the sound of him behind her. Boots pounding, grunts, echoing a hulking silhouette. Lurching in the dark. The hiss pop of a nail gun split. You can't fire a nail gun without firing it into something. Splits the silence. Steel slams into asphalt feet from where she runs. She doesn't stop, doesn't look back. He seizes the handset, gasping into it.

[B]

He's right behind me. Please.

[C]

Sentinel Shore's police dispatch replies. Calm and firm.

[B]

Stay there. Hold on. Help us on. Help us. Seconds away.

[A]

It's so calm and firm.

[B]

Calm and firm.

[A]

Calm and firm.

[C]

The border. She tears off the shoulder and into the trees. She tears off the shoulder and into the trees.

[A]

Off the shoulder of the road. That's crazy.

[C]

Oh, okay. Branches whip her arms raw, every step slower. But his aren't. The giant grunts behind her, nail gun hissing.

[B]

This guy's so good at crying.

[C]

Air and steel chasing her deep into the dark. Then lights. Then em dash lights. A K5 unit patrolling the border road owned by the city of Sentinel Shores, its dome turning steady, lenses unblinking. The machine captures everything. Her screams, her staggering run. The massive figure lumbering after her, tool raised in his hand. Heysock flags the feed. Police dispatch calls it out. Border patrol units move. Border Patrol Part 6 the confrontation they find him at the treeline. Still coming. That's not what coming sounds like. Riley, come on. Okay? You're not gonna commit? Fine. Still grunting, chest heaving. A Taser cracks. Arcs of blue in the night. Em-m dash. Arcs of blue in the night. The wire stick biting into his chest. He looks down at them, stares. Then lets out a guttural, sickening grunt.

[A]

That's really my best guess in a

[C]

guttural, sickening grunt and sprints straight at the officer in the middle. Hands clamp around the man's head. He lifts him clean off the ground. EM dash a rag doll in the grip of a giant.

[B]

Then you tase this guy and he comes up and like, picks you up and like tears your head off.

[C]

Jesus Christ. Then the bite from eyebrow to upper lip torn away in one grotesque rip. Oh my God, it rhymes. From eyebrow to upper lip torn away in one grotesque rip.

[B]

I think maybe this guy should be able to like, do whatever he wants, because apparently if we try to tase him, he'll bite a cop's face off like Hannibal Chimpanzee.

[C]

The officer's scream curdles into the night. That's the breaking point. Border patrol and police. Border patrol and police open fire together. Bursts of thunder, a hundred rounds tearing through the trees. The giant staggers, flinches, then finally collapses into the dirt. Silent. Finished.

[A]

Okay. The epilogue.

[C]

Epilogue.

[B]

I'm just Googling here for, like, real locations of giant bites off cop's face.

[A]

You know, it's inspired by true events.

[C]

Now this epilogue is a real shift in tone here, so I'm going to sort of give it the solemnity that it deserves.

[B]

Okay? Okay. Okay.

[C]

She had only been passing through, headed home from college. March break. The long drive stretching ahead. One wrong stop, one nightmare detour, and her life nearly ended in a bathroom window.

[B]

I'm so often saying this.

[C]

She survived. Barefoot. Cut.

[B]

Shaken. Why is it so important that I'm barefoot?

[C]

Em Dash. But alive.

[B]

Why is it so important that I'm barefoot?

[C]

Sentinel Shores would not forget the night.

[B]

Can I just say, I think it's beautiful that neither of these characters were ever on their phone. The entire time I was on my phone calling the cops. And then the robot seemingly did fuck all because I had already, I guess, kicked my shoes off and run for the hill. Hills. The only thing I could find, by the way, was a headline so good I'd like to read it into the record. Independent of this, it is also weirdly, robot related. It's from the Miami Herald. Man bites chunk out of deputy's head inside robot at music festival. Florida officials say.

[A]

Oh, wow, there it is. That. Honestly, that could be in the training data. That might.

[B]

Yeah, maybe, maybe. A man accused of chomping down on a Florida deputy's head inside a giant robot at a music festival is now going to prison, authorities said.

[C]

Well, particularly picking up on the robot bit. I feel like that's probably what did it.

[B]

No. Seemingly no, like, barefoot involvement.

[C]

No, that was probably in the prompt.

[A]

Probably in the prompt. Make it Barefoot Ellis. Well, you know what? Nightscope. You thought. You thought that you could take down Nightscope Chronicles. Wrong, bitch. I had it open the whole time because I knew you'd try this.