Podcast Summary: "True Crime Obsessed" Episode 442: "Worst Ex Ever: Married to a Monster"

Introduction

In episode 442 of True Crime Obsessed, titled "Worst Ex Ever: Married to a Monster," the hosts delve into the harrowing tale of Amanda and her tumultuous marriage to Kevin. This episode is the final installment in the "Worst Ex Ever" series, offering a profound exploration of domestic abuse, its devastating consequences, and the often inadequate responses from law enforcement.

Amanda's Story Begins

Meeting Kevin and Early Relationship

Amanda met Kevin in 2007 at a Denny's in Everett, Washington. Despite Amanda's initial disinterest—[00:30] Patrick Hines: "Amanda was living with him, like, right after college"—Kevin persistently pursued her, eventually leading to a seven-month courtship before they moved in together.

Amanda: "People tell me all the time, it's not my fault... Had I known that the most dangerous time for a person in a domestic violence relationship is when they try to leave, I probably would have done things differently." [02:27]

Signs of Control and Abuse

From the outset, Kevin exhibited controlling behaviors. He frequently checked Amanda's phone, demanded she delete male contacts, and criticized her appearance.

Amanda: "When I was pregnant with my son, he called me a crybaby and fat bitch. I was just really like, who did I marry? Who is this person?" [15:06]

Keven's lack of affection and emotional abuse became more pronounced over time, leaving Amanda feeling isolated and trapped.

The Breaking Point: Alicia's Murder

The Violent Attack

On November 6, 2016, at 5:00 AM, Amanda was violently attacked by Kevin while she slept in her home office. The assault left her with severe injuries, including broken teeth and a split eye.

Amanda: "I just remember being in shock. Like, what just happened?" [26:00]

Despite the brutality, the police were unable to arrest Kevin due to insufficient evidence, as Amanda could not positively identify him amidst her injuries.

Alicia's Tragic Death

Months later, on September 20, 2017, Alicia, Amanda's sister and the family's trusted confidante, was brutally murdered. Initially, suspicions fell on Kevin, given his history of abuse.

Manny (Amanda's brother): "We always knew that Kevin was the person." [56:34]

However, evidence did not immediately implicate Kevin, prolonging Amanda's fear and trauma.

Legal Struggles and Obstacles

Filing Charges Against Kevin

Amanda sought legal recourse by filing two counts of second-degree assault against Kevin. Despite persistent efforts, it took over a year before Kevin was convicted and sentenced to three years in prison for these assaults. The murder charges, however, remained unresolved.

Julian Benzavalli: "This is the definition of we can't help you until he kills you." [50:00]

Breakthrough Through a Random Tip

A pivotal moment occurred when a random tip from a party attendee named Alexis Hale led law enforcement to uncover critical evidence. Alexis, a 15-year-old, and her 17-year-old boyfriend Jared Phillips were found to have orchestrated the murder under Kevin's direction.

Patrick Hines: "If you're at a party and somebody talks about the murder they committed, call." [52:06]

Using Snapchat timestamps and metadata, authorities connected Alexis and Jared to the crime, culminating in their guilty pleas and substantial prison sentences.

Aftermath and Advocacy

Amanda's Resilience and Advocacy

Despite the immense trauma, Amanda channeled her pain into advocacy work. She played a crucial role in passing Washington House Bill 1901, which redefined domestic violence to include coercive control, providing greater protection and recognition for victims.

Patrick Hines: "Amanda is spreading awareness about domestic violence... She worked on getting a bill passed to redefine domestic violence to include coercive control." [60:38]

Family and Community Impact

Amanda's family, especially her brother Manny and Aunt Punky, grappled with the loss and ongoing fear of Kevin's potential retaliation. The ordeal underscored the pervasive impact of domestic abuse on not just the victim but their entire support network.

Manny: "Alicia was murdered for $2,600. And this is where we're told that Alexis, the 15-year-old, was totally the instigator." [55:35]

Conclusion

"Worst Ex Ever: Married to a Monster" poignantly captures the relentless struggle Amanda faced in escaping an abusive relationship and seeking justice for her sister Alicia. The episode highlights systemic failures in law enforcement's response to domestic violence and underscores the importance of community support and legislative reform in protecting victims.

Notable Quotes:

• Amanda: "People tell me all the time, it's not my fault... Had I known that the most dangerous time for a person in a domestic violence relationship is when they try to leave, I probably would have done things differently." [02:27]

• Patrick Hines: "It is not hyperbole to say, the cops are saying to them, sorry, he's gonna have to kill you in order for us to have what we need to pick him up. And that's exactly what happened." [50:16]

• Patrick Hines: "Amanda is spreading awareness about domestic violence... She worked on getting a bill passed to redefine domestic violence to include coercive control." [60:38]

This episode serves as a sobering reminder of the complexities surrounding domestic abuse cases and the critical need for effective support systems and responsive law enforcement to prevent tragedies like Amanda and Alicia's.